Ace of Spades HQ

January 31, 2006

Washington State Gets Around To Criminalizing Bestiality
— Ace

They can claim they're doing it for public safety, after that rather unpleasant colon-perforation-by-a-horse incident.

"Sexual contact" means any contact, however slight, between the sex organ or anus of a person and the sex organ, mouth, or anus of an animal, or any intrusion, however slight, of any part of the body of the person into the sex organ or anus of an animal, for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal of the person.

Anyone see the loophole?

Thank goodness! I'll just say I was doing it to arouse the animal, and I'm all set, baby.

Thanks to RLW.

Posted by: Ace at 08:20 AM | Comments (21)
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I bet the loophole is in there for the benefit of breeders. Then again it could just be that some Washington lawmakers are not yet ready to give up the love that dare not neigh, oink or baa it's name.

The do let the dead vote there after all.

Posted by: Defense Guy at January 31, 2006 08:33 AM (jPCiN)

2 Fantastic! I can still give hummers to bulls, and they can then jack me off with their cloven hooves.

Score!

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at January 31, 2006 08:37 AM (y1hCN)

3 Yes, the breeder thing, but couldn't they have made that a little narrow exception?

Posted by: ace at January 31, 2006 08:41 AM (UxtY9)

4 Genetic material winds up in a beaker or petri dish = legal

Genetic material winds up in a woman's pump = illegal

Posted by: ace at January 31, 2006 08:43 AM (UxtY9)

5 I concur with Dave, this wording of the law does in fact seem to permit you fellating an animal.

And who wouldn't...really?

Posted by: Jason at January 31, 2006 08:46 AM (Hd7zW)

6 That's a relief.
Wilbur has been talking about riding me bareback.

Posted by: Mr. Ed at January 31, 2006 08:46 AM (5WEQS)

7 Just another example of our rights being taken away from us in pResident Chimpy McBushCo's fascist, theocratic AmeriKKKa.

Posted by: Otho Laurence at January 31, 2006 08:52 AM (R9O/9)

8 Women's pump? That's a new one. So is "sex organ" as what I believe is a reference to a vagina.

Posted by: shawn at January 31, 2006 09:03 AM (D90f7)

9 The language is probably also necessary to exclude veternarians, who have to put their hands into unpleasant places at times.

Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood at January 31, 2006 12:43 PM (ukMrv)

10 And I just bought new goat.

Damn!

Posted by: Jeremy at January 31, 2006 12:46 PM (leJWb)

11 Godspeed, Mr. Hands. Your tragic early departure will not have been in vain.

Oh and for the love of God, no one google "Mr. Hands."

Posted by: Barbwire Mike at January 31, 2006 12:53 PM (/qPdW)

12 of any part of the body of the person into the sex organ or anus of an animal, for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal of the person.

Even when she'd teasing in? She used to love that.

Posted by: Tom M at January 31, 2006 12:58 PM (d6bNm)

13 Dammit.

Posted by: Beethoven at January 31, 2006 01:01 PM (O+1/6)

14 "however slight"??

Fucking horse lobby.

Posted by: Hubris at January 31, 2006 04:08 PM (wZLWV)

15 This is stupid. It gives all the power in the relationship to the animal.

Now the horses, cows, sheep, bitches can just walk aroudn waving it our faces and we take the bait then "we're the criminals."

This is BS. Our soldiers are fighting and dying in Iraq for our freedom swhile the Washington State legislature is stripping them away!

Posted by: Red Jode at January 31, 2006 04:15 PM (qlIsS)

16 I'm glad that there has been some clarification of the "loophole" in question. From the law's odd wording of "...intrusion, however slight, of any part of the body of the person into the sex organ or anus of an animal, for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal of the person" and Ace's question, I was starting to suspect that "make your own hole and screw away" was being suggested.

Of course, no live animal would stand still for this, meaning that the statute would make "standard" bestiality illegal while leaving bestial necrophilia and bestial bondage legal...

Posted by: cthulhu at January 31, 2006 08:18 PM (3xCRS)

17 Beauty and the Beast he cant be a beast anymore well at least he became a handsome prince

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Posted by: limon olsa at January 21, 2011 01:39 PM (VJ1gq)

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