Ace of Spades HQ

November 30, 2005

Top Ten Upcoming NYT Headlines On The Economy
— Ace

10. Falling Jobless Rate Has Perverse Effect: Higher Salaries Result In Rising Labor Costs

9. Amidst Boom, A Piece of Americana Lost: Fewer Rummies Raving In The Streets

8. Rising Incomes Mean More Americans Caught By Alternative Minimum Tax; Minorities, Women Hardest Hit

7. Falling Gas Prices May Lead To Increased Greenhouse Gas Production

6. With Economic Depression Averted, Struggling Discount Hard-Liquor Manufacturers Wonder: "Where Do We Go From Here?"

5. Picking Up The Pieces: Americans Struggle To Find Quality Chinese Restaurants After Relocating To Work At Higher Paying Jobs

4. The Forgotten Victims: As Investments Shift Towards Stocks, Wall Street Bond Traders "Despondant" At Sub-100K Bonuses

3. Economists Fret At Growing "Luxury Gap" Between Filthy Rich and Filthy Stinking Rich

2. The Dark Side of Prosperity: Study Links Rising Disposable Income With Casual Drug Use, Purchase of "Upscale" Pornographic DVDs

....and the Number One Upcoming NYT Headline On The Economy...

1. Paul Krugman Stops Writing Column, Starts Pelting Well-Dressed Passers-By With His Own Feces; "Some Of His Best Work Ever," Raves The American Prospect

Posted by: Ace at 10:17 AM | Comments (6)
Post contains 191 words, total size 1 kb.

1 You should think more long-term. I imagine the NYT headlines from 2009 will look something like this:

"Massive Stock Market Plunge After Hillary Elected All Part of Brilliant Strategy, Advisors Say"

"Massive Outflux of Qualified Doctors Blamed on Bush"

And an exerpt from a future Paul Krugman column:

"... so of course America's complete economic collapse wasn't caused by Hillary's election, but because the market, and the smart investors, all know that eventually a Republican will be elected again, and this tends to dampen certain indicators of ..."

Posted by: Sobek at November 30, 2005 10:58 AM (6GK9U)

2 Federal Income Tax Receipts at an All Time High: Congress Extends Session To Ensure Spending Level Keeps Pace

Posted by: Dave in Texas at November 30, 2005 11:21 AM (pzen5)

3 New Homeowners Feeling the Pinch
With home ownership approaching an all-time high, many recent buyers find themselves with less disposable income than they had before.

Posted by: Nate B. at November 30, 2005 12:46 PM (cmoKD)

4 I dunno about the NYT, but we have a winner from the AP:

"Strong GDP Rekindles Fed Rate Fears"

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at November 30, 2005 01:23 PM (CJBEv)

5 Uh, Ace, 100K bonuses?

Yeah, if you're a first year grad student.

http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/bizfinance/biz/features/15197/index.html

Read it. And weep.

Posted by: fat kid at November 30, 2005 02:43 PM (RCjGK)

6 1. "Economic boom spells potencial peril as unemployment workers ponder layoffs"

2. "Disaster looms as experts wait for bottom to fall out from rebounding economy"

3. "People with new jobs have less personal time during the holidays, study shows"

4. "Holiday depression down- Prozac maker mulling bankruptcy- thousands to lose jobs"

5. "Happy Holidays? Not so fast say experts- French still hate our guts"

6. "Better economy means less toys for Santa to deliver- Will elves be laid off?"

7. "Reports of people buying gifts instead of saving for global warming/freezing"

8. "ACLU suing Santa- claims he has no affirmative action policy in place- hires only elves"

9. "Communists face lonely holiday season- 'nuff said"

10. "Bull Market a vile personal attack on bulls- PETA claims"

Posted by: Arbiter at December 01, 2005 07:02 AM (/ajVb)

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