Ace of Spades HQ

January 30, 2008

This Imbecile Again
— Ace

Oprah cast as a god-queen because, see, she's "the closest thing we have to a living deity." I guess some might say we actually already have a living deity.

This guy... it's annoying because he's a one-trick pony with the cutesy ironic-heroic portrayal of celebrities and yet he gets attention for it. I don't object to this politically -- what do I care if he half-mocks, half-glorifies nitwits like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Oprah Winfrey?

But I object because it's easy, stupid, shallow, and gimmicky, like so much modern art of outrage is, and yet he's feted for this stupidity.

Oh, pish-posh! His cheeky ironic-heroic portrayals present interesting questions about our celebrity culture!

Really? Like what? Which "questions" are being posed here? And man, the observation that celebrities serve the same shared-mythos function in our society of the gods of Greece is, well, not exactly fresh.

Whatever. I guess I can always console myself with my Life Motto that sustains me in times of anxiety and fear, We're all going to die so who gives a rat's ass?

Posted by: Ace at 02:41 PM | Comments (97)
Post contains 185 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Oops. Everything is centred--centred around Oprah!

Posted by: andycanuck at January 30, 2008 02:45 PM (jNVhh)

2 Oprah's gravitational mass has caused everything to begin orbiting around her.

To the airlocks!

Posted by: dormouse at January 30, 2008 02:48 PM (p1s9n)

3 I'm guessing this will induce another crash diet for her.

How many times do you think a person can fluctuate 80-100 pounds before their skeleton spontaneously disintegrates?

Posted by: krakatoa at January 30, 2008 02:50 PM (1nsAD)

4 That's fucking BLASPHEMY!

Posted by: Gaia at January 30, 2008 02:51 PM (TNuqz)

5 I said TUT, not....never mind.

Posted by: King Tut at January 30, 2008 02:53 PM (Rt2uy)

6 At least she wasn't graphically naked.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 30, 2008 03:01 PM (hfyfI)

7
Wasn't his sculpture of Spears where he had her on all fours and giving birth? Did we really need to see that?

Posted by: dlm at January 30, 2008 03:01 PM (wxBdh)

8 You know, if I was drunk enough....

Posted by: Ventura Pundit at January 30, 2008 03:03 PM (yV0U2)

9 Oprah's got a Golden Gunt.

Posted by: Joanie at January 30, 2008 03:07 PM (Yyy1m)

10 It looks like a Venus of Willendorf book-end.

Posted by: qwfwq at January 30, 2008 03:07 PM (+30yb)

11 Nice boobs.

Just sayin'

Posted by: Aye Chihuahua at January 30, 2008 03:07 PM (k0tZG)

12 At least this guy has some genuine representational talent. That puts him ahead of 86.9% of the other edgy assholes in the art market.

Posted by: S. Weasel at January 30, 2008 03:09 PM (9jA8/)

I guess some might say we actually already have a living deity.

Obama?

Posted by: Mark V. at January 30, 2008 03:10 PM (dZ4mk)

14 Great! Now were going to end up with Dr Phil as Anubis and the egyptian youths are going to burn Paris...again.

Posted by: Rob B at January 30, 2008 03:11 PM (DPEbO)

*insert patented Dr. Chopper art rant here*

Posted by: Dr. Chopper at January 30, 2008 03:13 PM (xvIpv)

16 I'd hit it...with a blast furnace. The metal's gotta be worth something at a recycling center...

Posted by: Frank G at January 30, 2008 03:22 PM (Ydps9)

17 Oprah is getting criticism for endorsing Obama because he's black instead of endorsing Hillary because she's a woman. She's caught between Barack and a hard place.

Posted by: lmg at January 30, 2008 03:31 PM (cHcxA)

18 Yeah, Ace. I can see why you're bothered that people are giving this guy so much ink. Wait . . .

Posted by: Attila Girl at January 30, 2008 03:34 PM (vuv+H)

19 Damn you, Goldfinger!

Posted by: AnonymousBondDrivel at January 30, 2008 03:38 PM (Y0gTb)

With those lines running down her, she mostly reminds me of a partially carved side of beef.

Oprah, it's what's for dinner.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at January 30, 2008 03:39 PM (Tk5HT)

21 And I thought my day was going so well...

Posted by: TheEJS at January 30, 2008 03:40 PM (hBYdH)

22 I think it is kind of cool, in a cool sort of angry black woman way.

But then again, I have a thing for curvy black women.

I met a Nigerian lady once at one of those African stores in a mall and she was curvy like in this statue. Her sexuality was undeniable. I had to walk away before I grew too uncomfortable.

Posted by: uniball at January 30, 2008 03:40 PM (27iEn)

23 Quickly! A blow torch! Oprah's stuck in carbonite!

Posted by: Justin at January 30, 2008 03:44 PM (wXxAY)

24 I'd hit it.

Posted by: that grimacing gold statue at the beginning of Raiders at January 30, 2008 03:50 PM (uOvAE)

I may not know art, but I know what I like.

This ain't it.

MKH, on the other hand...

Posted by: ticticboom at January 30, 2008 03:50 PM (fScqF)

26
When I find myself in times of trouble
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Speaking words of wisdom
We're all going to die so who gives a rat's ass?

Posted by: Paul McCartney at January 30, 2008 03:50 PM (K2rlS)

27 10 beat me to it. Nothing changes. The first great artwork of the western world was the Venus of Villendorf. This is a direct, if debased, descendant.

Posted by: ricpic at January 30, 2008 03:52 PM (+++MJ)

28 Those vertical stripes are slimming.

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at January 30, 2008 03:53 PM (uOvAE)

29 There are code-words in the art world.

Edgy, innovative = says the same things all artists say.
Satirical, ironic = says the same things all artists say.
Defunded = actually says something different from other artists.

Posted by: Merovign at January 30, 2008 03:54 PM (IaYDo)

30 number of ejaculations: 3.7

If the fattie still looks like a woman, (i.e a waist) the extra meat is not so bad.

And in bronze, no one can see the cellulite

[insert carbonite han solo saying "I'd hit it"]

Posted by: copy at January 30, 2008 03:58 PM (p1s9n)

You know, if one were to urinate, defecate, and otherwise insert this uninspired piece into one's orifices, it would go from "no value" to priceless.

It bears consideration.

I'll be in my flat.

Posted by: Art Appraiser at January 30, 2008 04:02 PM (zdMgK)

32 At least this guy has some genuine representational talent. That puts him ahead of 86.9% of the other edgy assholes in the art market.

Pretty much. In terms of technical ability, this guy's definitely skilled. His subject matter isn't particularly clever or artistic, but he might get inspired for real some day.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 30, 2008 04:10 PM (hfyfI)

33 It should be a fountain

Posted by: toby928 at January 30, 2008 04:42 PM (evdj2)

Didn't this guy do a bust of Hillary? All of the work he's done so far is his job application as the Party's Sculptor, drooling at the possibility of all the commissions he'll get to carve statues of Comrade Rodham.

Posted by: angryoldfatman at January 30, 2008 04:52 PM (9g4Q/)

35 Which "questions" are being posed here?

Don't know about anyone else, but "Could I palm those big giant floppy golden tiddays like basketballs?" was the one that came to my mind.

Posted by: Alex at January 30, 2008 05:13 PM (dSFRJ)

36 ...and yet he's feted for this stupidity...

I think you mean fetid.

Posted by: Joe Biteme at January 30, 2008 05:18 PM (CKwMw)

37 I thought this was the award handed out at the American Association of Chubby Chasers annual dinner.

Posted by: Xoxotl at January 30, 2008 05:23 PM (TbnX8)

38 If you scroll down slowly ... she's fat, she's not, she's fat, she's not. My god, it's just like her life flashed before my eyes. Frickin Genius!

Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 30, 2008 05:58 PM (tun6e)

Im just damn glad that there was no moosenuckle.... could you imagine??

AHHHHH i just went blind, thinking about O's va-jay jay. Kill me now.

Seriously though.. wheres the nipps?

Posted by: sithson at January 30, 2008 06:06 PM (lIsCq)

40 I doubt they're really that... how you say?... firm.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at January 30, 2008 06:23 PM (ThZCx)

41 What? No Nipples?

Posted by: lance at January 30, 2008 06:29 PM (r69Oq)

42 If I were a sarcophagus, I'd hit it.

Posted by: caspera at January 30, 2008 07:41 PM (kuj/I)

43 I don't know why, but it reminds me of Zardoz. Actually, it's Oprah herself who reminds me of Zardoz.

Pretty much everything reminds me of Zardoz, really.

Posted by: Trimegistus at January 30, 2008 09:11 PM (HucaB)

44 You know, if I was drunk enough....

Been there. Done that. Sorry to say....

Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at January 30, 2008 09:55 PM (NdG3x)

45 A Clintonian artist views the Big-O.

Posted by: maverick muse at January 30, 2008 11:07 PM (ODnqn)

46 Well, excuse me, but in the year of the rat (concurrent, I do believe) if Ace or anyone else were to give a rat's arse this would be a generous and deeply transcendent donation ... to what I'm not sure, but have some respect for the rear end of the current faviourite pooper. Gung ay fah choi.

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