December 29, 2007
— Gabriel Malor Pope Benedict has given orders that bishops are to train exorcists to help combat the rise of Satanism. This is old news, at least in my home diocese which always keeps a trained exorcist on staff.
The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus."Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," he said.
"Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a properly trained exorcist.
Tell me about it.
I worked for a Catholic church from high school through college. In my first week I got a call that started like this: "This is going to sound strange, but I'm totally serious. Can you send someone over for an exorcism?" He then proceeded to explain that things were moving on their own and the house was making sounds and that it had been going on for a few weeks. He was nominally Lutheran, but they wouldn't do anything about it. Heh. We didn't either.
P.S. I just noticed some unintentional (?) humor in the Daily Mail URL to this story. it ends with "Satan=Santa." Hmmmm.
More: I meant to add this as part of the post earlier, but got distracted by my 13-month-old niece, who I'm visiting in Virginia.
The Vatican is particularly concerned that young people are being exposed to the influence of Satanic sects through rock music and the Internet.
UPDATE: Via the lovely moron RightwingSparkle, the Vatican denies that it is ordering an increase in exorcists:
"Pope Benedict XVI has no intention of ordering local bishops to bring in garrisons of exorcists to fight demonic possession,'' Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi told reporters in Rome Friday.On Thursday, the Roman Catholic Web site Petrus said the pope planned to install more exorcists in every diocese next year and reintroduce a prayer during mass to St. Michael the Archangel, believed to be the prime protector against evil, The Telegraph in Britain reported Saturday.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at
10:11 AM
| Comments (106)
Post contains 368 words, total size 3 kb.
Posted by: ricpic at December 29, 2007 10:26 AM (tJMnS)
Posted by: ricpic at December 29, 2007 03:26 PM (tJMnS)
Well the actual practice of female genital mutilation, or the selling of children into sex slavery, or death by stoning, of course.
Posted by: AR at December 29, 2007 10:34 AM (B5B4D)
Posted by: Pupster at December 29, 2007 10:45 AM (BExLP)
Posted by: Lokki at December 29, 2007 10:46 AM (Q+vk9)
Posted by: ricpic at December 29, 2007 10:48 AM (tJMnS)
I recently went on a ghost tour of Savannah, and the tour guide pointed out a house that had been exorcised twice in the same month (stuff moving about, weird noises, etc.) by an Episcopal bishop and the owner moved out soon after.
Well, his problem right there was using an Episcopalian. What poltergeist is going to be scared away by that?
Posted by: meep at December 29, 2007 10:50 AM (E4SKR)
Eph 6:12 For our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against authorities and powers, against the world-rulers of this dark night, against the spirits of evil in the heavens.
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 10:53 AM (T++Q8)
Posted by: mesablue at December 29, 2007 11:10 AM (KCOdQ)
I suspected that's where Lutherans came from.
Well, his problem right there was using an Episcopalian. What poltergeist is going to be scared away by that?
You have to match your exorcists to your spirits.
Old-school full-bore Catholic = Demon possession
Wishy-washy modern Catholic = Poltergeists
Episcopalians = Caspar the Friendly Ghost
Unitarians = Rats, roaches, common household pests
Posted by: Merovign at December 29, 2007 11:24 AM (IaYDo)
SLAYER!!!! Actually, I'm gonna blame the Norwegians. Scandi black metal kids are the ones burning down churches, using their friends' suicide pics as album art, and sniffing bags full of rotten animal corpses. Oh and thrill killing, too. I'd start there, Mr. Pope.
Posted by: Joanie at December 29, 2007 11:25 AM (Yyy1m)
Posted by: WisdomLover at December 29, 2007 11:32 AM (YGMaD)
Posted by: eman at December 29, 2007 11:32 AM (8iSfZ)
Posted by: WisdomLover
That'll take the Pope, two Bishops, and an Elvis Invoker to have even half a chance.
Posted by: eman at December 29, 2007 11:34 AM (8iSfZ)
Posted by: eman at December 29, 2007 11:35 AM (8iSfZ)
Eh, actually, that is not as prudish as it might seem. I used to listen to Ozzy, yadda, yadda, but also the Detroit rapper ESHAM (the Unholy) and his group NATAS (Satan, backwards, in case I need to spell it out), also the 3-6 Mafia, or as they were first named, the Triple Six Mafia. You hear more of this, and less of the Gospels, well, you figure out what philosophy becomes more important to you.
You can only watch X number of Taratino films, slasher movies, listen to "KKKill the Fetus", bang so many chicks, drink, use drugs, fight, etc, and miss Y many days at church before you start playing for the other team. There's a reason why Earth isn't paradise and why people suggest that Hell is jampacked, and Heaven has great parking.
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 11:47 AM (IGbxn)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 11:50 AM (Bivii)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 11:58 AM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Grown Up Bull de Blog at December 29, 2007 12:01 PM (fDEB4)
You can have all the chicks you want. 72 of them, in fact. Freshly virginated.
You just have to do this one little thing for me. It won't hurt -- much. I promise.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 12:01 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 12:05 PM (IGbxn)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 12:07 PM (Bivii)
Bill, wrong guy to ask. Lost my soul in Thailand. To a gal named Eddie.
That was a great night. Fun times.
Come back any time.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 12:07 PM (KCOdQ)
This is old news, at least in my home diocese which always keeps a trained exorcist on staff.
Yet they haven't used it on you, or any wannabe lawyers.
Posted by: TheEJS at December 29, 2007 12:21 PM (JyC8j)
That'll take the Pope, two Bishops, and an Elvis Invoker to have even half a chance.
What if we all lay our hands on the computer monitor?
Posted by: WisdomLover at December 29, 2007 12:21 PM (YGMaD)
Pope vs Satan. It's gotta be done.
Posted by: Joanie at December 29, 2007 12:30 PM (Yyy1m)
Posted by: Nice Deb at December 29, 2007 12:36 PM (/Mh8P)
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 12:41 PM (IGbxn)
Posted by: Nice Deb at December 29, 2007 12:47 PM (/Mh8P)
Cheers.
Posted by: R. Sherman at December 29, 2007 12:56 PM (rwcvo)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 01:00 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Dead Career Sketch at December 29, 2007 01:04 PM (NdG3x)
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 01:20 PM (/Mh8P)
Posted by: mrp at December 29, 2007 01:27 PM (HjPtV)
Posted by: mrp at December 29, 2007 06:27 PM (HjPtV)
If you are going to go OT, at leased give a link.
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 01:31 PM (T++Q8)
Joanie, I'm not sure what the last bid was but I wish to raise.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 29, 2007 01:31 PM (t+mja)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 01:32 PM (CnXZn)
You fellas still have fresh stocks of Zyklon B? Or is that a Panzer in your pocket?
Posted by: Malachi Martin at December 29, 2007 01:32 PM (uaWKk)
That's what I saw, that Fred Thompson was on tomorrow. I suspect he's going to do better than most people expect on Jan. 03.
Posted by: mrp at December 29, 2007 01:39 PM (HjPtV)
I was sold for a pony. I might be available as a rental, though. But only after I'm done dressing up my new friend, Mr. Cloppy.
Posted by: Joanie at December 29, 2007 01:43 PM (Yyy1m)
To paraphrase Major General Colt: "The Episcopalians? They aren't even in this war!"
Posted by: mrp at December 29, 2007 01:44 PM (HjPtV)
Posted by: NortonPete at December 29, 2007 02:01 PM (fVuwW)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 02:07 PM (Bivii)
So did you, on your own blog. You can't blame me this time.
Ha, I'm everywhere.
At least I did it intentionally, what kind of made up name is Vercingitherdix anyway?
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 02:10 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: O.J. at December 29, 2007 02:14 PM (+WuMm)
Not me, that would have to be God.
He's in charge of the miracles n' shit. I just handle the fun stuff like wars and green jello -- and Nice Deb's spelling.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 02:14 PM (KCOdQ)
ricpic's concerns are right on the mark.
This Pope began candidly referencing history in open dialogue with Islam only to get lambasted by dumb, lame honkies with the loudest MSM influence, encouraging vile and obscene objections from mullahs and brain washed followers. Benedict XVI learned his lesson, NOT to presume an intelligent response from Islam, NOT to afford Islam further opportunity to twist good will into spiteful hate.
Ghosties only have as much power as a person allows them, mom told me when I was a scared little kid once upon a time.
Meanwhile, how nice to have St. Michael's Prayer for safe keeping.
For POTUS, only Fred would definitely win the exorcism hands down.
Posted by: St. Paul Plunder at December 29, 2007 02:18 PM (bGDqs)
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 02:19 PM (/Mh8P)
Ah, nobody, I just got bored on a Friday night, started making shit up.
Hey, Satan, did you get my letter? I send one to you every X-mas, asking about my pony. I see Joanie has got one, and I'll bet you she didn't have to suck the Barbed Cock of Cheney. Dude, where's my pony?
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 02:38 PM (N8eC4)
I'm warming it up for you.
I knew a guy named Vergingsomethingoranother who was a Gaul leader. I'm guessing you know him from Age of Empires.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 02:45 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 02:57 PM (N8eC4)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 03:03 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 03:11 PM (/Mh8P)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 03:17 PM (KCOdQ)
Stay tuned!
Posted by: JavaJoe at December 29, 2007 03:38 PM (Am6n/)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 03:47 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 03:52 PM (T++Q8)
so who cares what he says.
I dunno .....this revirgination he speaks of ...... has .... shall we say .... a certain appeal .
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:01 PM (Bivii)
Posted by: George W. Bush at December 29, 2007 04:03 PM (q+HK/)
Yeah, I might have, umm, made that up. I mean, if they'll believe the 72 virgins thing -- but I do love the look of surprise/disappointment when they get here.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:05 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:09 PM (Bivii)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:17 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:18 PM (Bivii)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:18 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 04:26 PM (T++Q8)
Dude, I helped give the world Fwance, alright. I think that after all the evil THAT little project has caused, I deserve a freaking pony. With laser eyes and toddlers for horseshoes. Pony me NOW!
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 04:35 PM (N8eC4)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:38 PM (KCOdQ)
St. Michael cheats.
Dirty archangels.
I most certainly do not cheat.
With God on my side, all things are possible.
You, on the other hand are a scoundrel and a choad.
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 04:38 PM (/Mh8P)
*makes note -- have pony take a shit on Mark's porch.
How's he gonna know it's a pony , not a hippie ?
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:42 PM (Bivii)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:43 PM (Bivii)
Yeah, but you hang out with Gabriel.
I'm more loved than Gabriel.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:45 PM (KCOdQ)
Merovign,
Omg, that made me laugh.
Vercingetorix,
I'm copying your comment to paper and giving it to every teenager I know. (and I know too many)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 29, 2007 04:46 PM (dh4Tv)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 04:46 PM (CnXZn)
Napoleon already made that deal.
How about three grossly deformed goldfish and a meerkat with a limp?
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:48 PM (KCOdQ)
Hey Gabe, are you going to let Satan talk to you that-a-way?
Hey Satan, remember Gabriel wields the banhammer...
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 04:50 PM (/Mh8P)
Vercingetorix,
I'm copying your comment to paper and giving it to every teenager I know. (and I know too many)
There's going to be a lot of confused teenagers , and one very lonely gal named Eddie .
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 04:51 PM (Bivii)
Oh, Satan knows how to google.
Silly. Satan IS google. Or at least an agent of his, like wormwood.
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 29, 2007 04:55 PM (dh4Tv)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 04:56 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 29, 2007 04:57 PM (dh4Tv)
Way ahead of you.
How do you think Ace has gotten away with the hobo massacre for so long?
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:00 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 05:04 PM (Bivii)
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 05:06 PM (T++Q8)
As you might expect, Satan is behind this story as well. All lies (his speciality).
Just trying to get attention. (like he doesn't get enough right here!)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 29, 2007 05:07 PM (dh4Tv)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 05:08 PM (CnXZn)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 29, 2007 05:08 PM (Bivii)
Besides, my minions Tom and Bob Munck do most of my work here. On Saturdays they have to stay in and take care of pony's "needs".
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:08 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Mark in Spokane at December 29, 2007 05:14 PM (T++Q8)
Yeah, that was fun.
If Tom can't get banned, I'm probably safe for a while.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:14 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 05:22 PM (CnXZn)
I did get 404's for a while. But, I thought it would be fun to mess with the goofballs that were whining about that thread when it turned out to be much ado about nothing.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:30 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:31 PM (KCOdQ)
Every day, when I wake up and sing show tunes in the shower, I think about how I can get banned at Ace's. I impersonate trolls, point out Gabe's chronic, incurable, total Euro-gayness, I hijack entire threads just so I can call a troll 4-letter words, what else, and damnit, construct entire sentences of just cuss words. No ban. I give up.
Btw, RWS, I'll have to pay someone to pray for all the kids you know.
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 05:34 PM (N8eC4)
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:37 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Vercingetorix at December 29, 2007 05:41 PM (N8eC4)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 05:46 PM (CnXZn)
Well, that was something that was implied about a troll who shall forever go nameless, unlike me. I gots lots o' names.
Also, once you get banned from AoS, you go straight to hell. That's the deal. Part of why I like this place so much. Ace has been pretty stingy lately, though. I'm going to have to reanimate a few of his most recent kills and have them pay him a visit to remind him of his obligations.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 05:49 PM (KCOdQ)
Btw, RWS, I'll have to pay someone to pray for all the kids you know.
Pray for them? For God's sake, pray for me!
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 29, 2007 05:51 PM (dh4Tv)
hot blondes getting pleasured He said (in the Bible) that we were gods and He is going to make good His words.
And no, I do not make a habit of reading the spam we get. This one just caught my eye.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 05:52 PM (CnXZn)
hot blondes getting pleasured He said (in the Bible) that we were gods and He is going to make good His words.
Yeah, and when you get here -- they all turn out to be redheads.
God Boy, I love that one.
It was a redhead cherubim who told me I could start my own business -- look how that worked out.
Posted by: Satan at December 29, 2007 06:01 PM (KCOdQ)
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 29, 2007 06:12 PM (CnXZn)
Posted by: St. Michael at December 29, 2007 07:22 PM (/Mh8P)
Posted by: OregonMuse at December 29, 2007 08:49 PM (4P1WQ)
And ND, it's because minx changed the new comments thingy again so you have to make sure that you put the http:// back in your URL or it puts minx.cc in your path.
Take care, my children. I think it's time that I got back on the path of righteousness.
Good Catholic boy that I am, I think I need to cleanse my sins in confession after tonight. My priests have heard much worse, so I should be OK.
Just have to make sure that I have one of those guys around when it's time for me to check out.
Ipse paeniteo.
Posted by: Satan at December 30, 2007 12:13 AM (KCOdQ)
Uh-uh.
The greatest trick humanity has played on itself is convincing people that Satan wouldn't be completely redundant.
--
Since the RCC has the special right to commit Conspiracy After the Fact, why shouldn't they add Special Right to Assault and Battery on top of it?
/mega sarc
Posted by: MegaTroopX at December 30, 2007 05:24 PM (AKtp8)
Posted by: sdfgh at November 28, 2011 12:02 AM (R9wBA)
Posted by: Gucci Outlet at May 18, 2012 04:36 PM (tlbhB)
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