Ace of Spades HQ

August 01, 2008

The news you've all been waiting for [someone]
— Open Blog

UPDATE: Bumped, in case you missed it the first time. A number of infamous morons have announced their intention to attend in the comment thread...

No one has thoughts or objections on the date (now tentatively 8/14 or 8/16)? Particularly the out-of-towners. Actually, any non-New Yorkers who are considering or planning a trip, please send me an email at blog dot someone at gmail dot com. I'd like to make the plans as accommodating as possible for you folks.

Morons Take Manhattan 2: Electric Boogaloo. It's finally happening.

When? In about 2+ weeks, unless somebody from out of town wants to come at another time. August 14 (Thursday), maybe? Or the weekend right after.

Where? Similar to last time: a bar in NYC.

Who? Well, morons. Socially inept men and some surprisingly attractive (married) women.

What? Val-U-Rite. Hobos. Ewok-baiting. Lamenting New Blogging Thingy. You know the drill.

Please discuss, comment, invite yourself, etc. in the thread below. Remember that to see all comments you have to check the new site.

Posted by: Open Blog at 08:16 AM | Comments (76)
Post contains 185 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ah, what the hell, I don't have anything better to do.

Who's got a couch that I can sleep on?

Posted by: mesablue at July 28, 2008 01:04 PM (5yNaE)

2 Dang, that sounds like fun but I'll be stuck in Norfolk, VA. Perhaps you guys should party right a do a pub crawl. All you need is a bag pipe player (who knows the route), T-shirts with the itinerary, cash and off you go. Did one in Halifax (gawd what a party town, perfect for morons!) and that lasted for about 18 hours. -50 windchill sobers one damn quick going bar to bar.

Posted by: CDR M at July 28, 2008 01:33 PM (TJoU6)

I'm in!

Posted by: Holdfast at July 28, 2008 02:06 PM (Gzb30)

Mebbe' so

- send sooper sekrit details ....

Posted by: USCitizen at July 28, 2008 02:21 PM (5pDev)

5 Lets see... MY 10 point plan for 2008

1. Foreclosure
2. Separation/Divorce (I have custody)
3. Bankruptcy (chapter 11)
4. Laid Off TODAY.
5. Tell my son today I am spending his college money to
    attend this function. Where does the most eligible
    bachelor in Michigan R.S.V.P. ?
6. Hello Gov. Granholm am I "blown away" yet?
7. All you Moron-Etts I am NOT up for grabs
    but Open for Offers. Line forms to the left.
    .... (((crickets)))
8. Does the Party Bus go all the way to Michigan?
9. Like Jay-Z says, I got 99 problems .....
10. Ok... TODAY I got 100

Posted by: sirsurfalot at July 28, 2008 02:40 PM (Czvjx)

6 I'd be in, if my only NYC crash pad didn't just moved to Hong Kong. That selfish twat.

Posted by: Joanie at July 28, 2008 02:53 PM (Yyy1m)

Let this Northern Virginiaite know when you all do something down yonder here and I will let cha crash in my pad :-)

Posted by: Jaded at July 28, 2008 04:03 PM (yyZu2)

I'm a 'Northern Virginiate' but I'm in, I'll catch a train. Just pick a day a week or so ahead so I can dump work friday.

Posted by: PHenry at July 28, 2008 04:14 PM (NRi+a)

9 Hmmm, sounds like a good time. Has the place been picked? Do we have to wear Viking helmets?

Posted by: eman at July 28, 2008 04:36 PM (bXWSG)

10 Cool. Now that I actually (rather occasionally) comment and attempt to follow the blog, i may try to make an effort to attend, and how did you know i was socially inept?

Posted by: Penfold at July 28, 2008 04:59 PM (lF2Kk)

11 I am in! I am eager to meet the great Ace of Spades.

Posted by: Tushar at July 28, 2008 05:09 PM (PTWes)

My attendance is questionable, as I have been unfairly distracted and set upon by dark forces intent on causing maximum levels of ennui and torpor. I just recite the mantra “Get the behind me pinhead” whilst twirling above my head, the footrest of the soul, the sacred beet the gypsy woman gave me in appreciation for services rendered, and hope for absolution and maybe four out of five lottery numbers.

You no doubt have been made cognizant of the fact that I had to perform sacred corporate rites and unholy functions within the confines of the hallowed halls of Congress for a potential client wishing to purchase our special brand of organized confusion, right? I was unable to convince him, neither with a Mojo hand, or a John the Conqueror root, but managed to not bring any of my tight, tight fitting pants, which was fortuitous, as I was unaware that the donning of such garments deep within the moldy lairs of liars and cheats labels one as a liberal of the worst ilk, the ACLU genus, and it’s a little more than difficult as it is to just coexist with the local denizens as is with them knowing you come from that pit of perdition known as California, where everybody thinks they’re superior to everybody else and we live with liberals. So I had to leave my exquisite cynicism at home in order to function like a mindless Capitalist corporate cancer with any sense of authenticity.

Posted by: Carl Gordon at July 28, 2008 05:19 PM (78IpS)

13 Oooooo, I might actually be able to make this one. I'll be in NJ on business starting Aug 11. Maybe.

But I'm gonna have a bear of a time with TSA explaining the hobo-assegai sticking out of my checked baggage.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 28, 2008 05:26 PM (Ds4I5)

Manhatten?

well, isn't that all hoity-toity?

What? Is http://www.jimmydsoftail.com/ bar in North Bergen too plebian for youse guys.

Sheesh.

Manhatten.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at July 28, 2008 05:27 PM (UeP9e)

Aw, dammit... I'm tied up at that point. Someone, let's try to do it again in December during audition season again?

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at July 28, 2008 05:41 PM (WG2sq)

16 Just curious but who exactly thought NYC in August was going to be a fun idea?

Posted by: DrewM. at July 28, 2008 05:56 PM (hlYel)

Midwest Moronorama:

Saturday, August 23

Horseshoe Hotel & Casino

Hammond, IN (30 minutes from Chicago)

Featured Guest: Mr. Paul Anka.

He's the only important one at the event, but when he moves, he'll slice like a fuckin' hammer.

Posted by: marchand chronicles at July 28, 2008 06:00 PM (QqkDB)

18 NYC?
WTF?

Posted by: mpur at July 28, 2008 06:20 PM (NJJUE)

19 I'm not far away, depends on the timeframe!

Posted by: gdonovan at July 28, 2008 06:28 PM (TFXO9)

20 I'll come if I'm allowed to bring the corpse of Amy Winehouse as a date.

Posted by: JWF at July 28, 2008 06:55 PM (1kKbK)

21 I wish I could go. Nothing helps the ego more than having a bunch of morons hitting on me.

Posted by: Carin at July 28, 2008 07:02 PM (+PoXK)

22 Almost definitely in...

Posted by: Karol at July 28, 2008 07:06 PM (jqKIo)

23 My attendance is questionable, as I have been unfairly distracted and set upon by dark forces intent on causing maximum levels of ennui and torpor.

Yeah, my cousin had that last week. Hot buttered rum helped.

BTW, What's wrong with Atlanta, Dallas or Charlotte? I've got crash pads in those spots, and soon in, *gak*, West Virginia.

Posted by: toby hussein 928 at July 28, 2008 07:25 PM (PD1tk)

toby.. indeed

we suthern morons need love too

atlanta, biloxi, new orleans, houston?

Posted by: turtle at July 28, 2008 07:41 PM (uiv93)

25 I can arrange it, but only if I get to shave Laura's hump. I ain't leavin' Ohio unless I shave the fuckin' hump.

Bitches.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at July 28, 2008 07:46 PM (5NjzI)

26 I might be able to make it, depends on some work stuff. I should know by early next week.

Posted by: alexthechick at July 28, 2008 08:44 PM (+Y9fx)

27 I vote for Charlotte... make it happen and I would sooo go to mock the lot of you.

Posted by: jennifer at July 28, 2008 09:38 PM (4xBEr)

28 BumperStickerist

It's kind of hard to take a place seriously as a biker bar when they have a myspace page.

The website is bad enough but come on, myspace?

Posted by: DrewM. at July 28, 2008 09:58 PM (hlYel)

29 "Just curious but who exactly thought NYC in August was going to be a fun idea?"

Dude, we live here. What else is there to do now except get drunk with morons?

Posted by: someone at July 28, 2008 10:02 PM (2z2WN)

30 BumperStickerist,
we could go to a biker bar, if there are atleast some people who have bikes. How about you?

Posted by: Tushar at July 28, 2008 10:03 PM (PTWes)

31 Dude, we live here.

I grew up there...go to the shore like sane people.

Posted by: DrewM. at July 28, 2008 10:05 PM (hlYel)

32 Actually, BumperStickeris's idea is not bad. The place is not too far away from Manhattan, and we could rent the hall, which means we could actually talk, rather than shouting incomprehensibly at each other.

Posted by: Tushar at July 28, 2008 10:08 PM (PTWes)

33 I'll probably go...I've been lurking long enough. :-)

Posted by: pizzapants at July 28, 2008 10:41 PM (asK2b)

Midwest Moronorama:

Saturday, August 23

Horseshoe Hotel & Casino

Hammond, IN (30 minutes from Chicago)

That's where Wickedpinto lives. Could make things interesting. I haven't seen him since the Innocent Bystanders Super Bowl Party.

Posted by: mesablue at July 28, 2008 10:51 PM (5yNaE)

35 Hey mesa, you don't think you get Pinto to come out here?

Posted by: someone at July 28, 2008 11:04 PM (2z2WN)

36 I'll check with him.

He took the train to Michigan to ride down with me to the Innocent Bystanders Super Bowl Party.

The expense of a place to stay in NYC will play into it. I'm not sure if I would inflict him on my family in Jersey.

Posted by: mesablue at July 29, 2008 12:02 AM (5yNaE)

37 Hmmm, I could take Metro North into Grand Central. You know those tunnels are a target rich environment...

Posted by: Chief Clancy Wiggum at July 29, 2008 04:28 AM (YacaW)

38 Drunken morons in the target hobo-rich environment of New York City. What could possibly go wrong? I'm in.

Posted by: Andy at July 29, 2008 06:46 AM (cmoj6)

It's highly doubtful I'll be able to make it, especially the 14th.

Damn it all anyhow.

Posted by: steveegg at July 29, 2008 07:31 AM (LvEFt)

I'm not sure if I would inflict him on my family in Jersey.

I'll bet you're more sure than you let on.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 29, 2008 07:36 AM (pzen5)

Please forward to my email to "super sekrit" location. Working as I do in Midtown will make it that much easier to make it.

Posted by: RedinaBlueState at July 29, 2008 08:33 AM (StUu8)

42 I can arrange it, but only if I get to shave Laura's hump. I ain't leavin' Ohio unless I shave the fuckin' hump.

No way, man. I just shaved "I <3 Belltowers" into it last night. Did a really good job on the lettering and I want it to last a while.

Posted by: lauraw at July 29, 2008 08:58 AM (wf2gh)

43 Dangit, that's a month early - we're actually coming from Atlanta to NY but in September.

Posted by: Francase at July 29, 2008 09:56 AM (Fk/Nk)

44 27" I vote for Charlotte... make it happen and I would sooo go to mock the lot of you."
Yeah, some day a moron gathering in Charlotte!

Posted by: RWB at July 29, 2008 10:45 AM (MKxON)

45 I'll bet you're more sure than you let on.

That cracked me up.

Posted by: michael at July 29, 2008 11:30 AM (l7H1O)

46 NYC? Why does it always have to be NYC? Oh, that's right, Ace has soooo much shit going on, what with posing for nude pictures and sucking up to the people who choose blogger of the year that he just can't possibly consider going anywhere else. Well, fuck it. I can't go, too many people to sue, too little time. I agree with turtle, how about some southern love sometime, new orleans, houston, or dallas. In fact, dallas is it. DFW is a great airport, everyone can reach it, we're literally covered up with hobos, and dallas is beautiful in August. Right, Dave? Dave... Dave...

Posted by: mikeyslaw at July 29, 2008 11:38 AM (QMGr1)

47 I'll be there, but I sure hope that you isn't. No self-respecting moron would want to do a VuR shot with you.

Posted by: Return of the code - missed me didn't you bitches? at July 29, 2008 11:45 AM (cmoj6)

48 "I'm not sure if I would inflict him on my family in Jersey."

What, you have sisters?

Posted by: someone at July 29, 2008 12:04 PM (2z2WN)

49 Oh! I wanna come! I'll see if I can get my permission slip signed.

Posted by: Gordon at July 29, 2008 01:03 PM (TNCet)

I'll be there.

Assuming I'm not in jail after the hippies come to Times Square on Saturday to gloat over the recruiting station they bombed.

Posted by: ticticboom at July 29, 2008 04:45 PM (KKRBo)

51 I'll see if I can make it once you firm up the date and my own plans solidify. I live about an hour from NYC so it's doable. If I'm free, I'm there.

Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at August 01, 2008 08:40 AM (MN787)

I'm wondering if NYC has a hobo-gap with Pakistan... check out the goinks they have over there:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080801163217.6r1x3fyu&show_article=1

of course, it might be argued that their hobos actually generate money, would that be a technical disqualification?

If not, Ace, can you import some of these for a "special" hunt during the event?

Posted by: LF Mayor at August 01, 2008 08:49 AM (AkPCZ)

Next week would have worked. Alas, alack, not the following.

Please feel free to insult the nearest PETA/Greenpeace/Al Gore for me.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 01, 2008 09:08 AM (B+qrE)

54 I wonder if this permalink is going to get renamed with the subject line change.

Posted by: someone at August 01, 2008 12:28 PM (2z2WN)

55 email sent.

So for us first-timers, how are we supposed to know each other? Do we get funny hats/helmets? Cheap CafePress T-shirts with Velveeta stains? Or do we just look for a table full of mouth-breathers wearing their pants up around their armpits?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 01, 2008 01:35 PM (Ds4I5)

56 he place is not too far away from Manhattan, and we could rent the hall, which means we could actually talk, rather than shouting incomprehensibly at each other.

Oh, you mean like we do here?

Posted by: OregonMuse at August 01, 2008 02:20 PM (qm2ea)

Cannot do the 14th (coming out of the wilderness that day, and won't be fully back into civilization until the 15th), and likely would not be able to pull off the 16th.

Have fun anyway.

Posted by: steveegg at August 01, 2008 04:21 PM (LvEFt)

58 coming out of the wilderness that day

Flying in from Berkeley, are we?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 01, 2008 05:05 PM (Ds4I5)

59 #47 Um dude, chill ok, I don't know what I said, but I'm not going to bug you guys in NYC.

Posted by: baxtrice at August 02, 2008 01:54 AM (QtEAK)

60 #47 Um dude, chill ok, I don't know what I said, but I'm not going to bug you guys in NYC.

What, you forgot already?

Unbelievable.

(um...someone want to explain? It almost got me too. ;P )

Posted by: Desert Cat at August 06, 2008 08:32 PM (6go9w)

61 Yeah, my cousin had that last week. Hot buttered rum helped.
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