Ace of Spades HQ

May 10, 2009

Sunday Open Thread
— Gabriel Malor

Happy Mother's Day to all our motherly readers.

Also, don't forget to call your mom and tell her how much you love her. If she put up with all of your crap, she's gotta be one heckuva classy dame.

Feel free to use this as an open thread.

UPDATE [D in T]: A Mother's Day Nearly-Epic Poem. For Mom, on Moms Day

You put up with my crap, with tenderness and patience, and by
patience I mean threats about dad coming home,
but I didnt mind. I was giving you grief that day
and I had it coming.
Lots of days actually, but whos counting?
Not me. Not me.
Also, sorry about saying crap. My bad.

I often wondered about whether I was your favorite,
since there were three others, but they were girls, and I was
the oldest, so I figure yeah. I was.
Which is cool for me but will still mess them up
Even though theyre all in their forties now. Well, except for one
but shes close. HA! Theyre old!
So am I, but they are girls and it sucks more to be old and a girl.
I mean, except for you.
And, except for all the other girls reading this.
Really, I just kinda said that sucks thing. It doesnt mean nuthin.

Remember that time I stepped on the nail and came home and bled all
over the kitchen? That was cool. The nail came out the
top of my sneaker and I crawled home from next
door (you yelled at the neighbor for leaving those
boards out. I think you were mad), and I came in and took my
shoe off and man, I bled all over everything. Then we went to the
doctor and he said I didnt need stitches but he gave me a tetanus
shot and I puked after that. On you.
Sorry about that. You were standing kinda close.

There were lots of nice moments, in the kitchen especially,
Thats where you loved us with food. Moms do that.
Lots of food cause there were four of us and I could
eat a lot, but you know that already.
Remember when Id come home for visits and look in the
fridge? You thought that was weird, but I was just hungry. Thats all.
I remember the casseroles you used to make. They still haunt me.

And you let me drive the station wagon cause dad had the Plymouth at work.
Come to think of it the station wagon was a Chrysler. Dad sure had a
hard on for Chryslers didnt he? Sorry, I didnt mean to say
hard on. That was wrong of me and I apologize.
Anyway I drove that thing and I have to admit, I was pretty
impressed a girl like you could figure out that whole pushbutton automatic
transmission thing. That was fucked up, wasnt it? Push button automatic
transmission. Oh crap, I said fuck.
Didnt meant that. Sorry.

I know there was a bunch of other stuff I did that ticked you off, but
I found out you get a giant get out of jail free card with a grandkid.
I did not know that, or I would have done it sooner.
Not it. I was already doing that, I meant, oh you know what I mean.
Anyway I didnt know that you could forgive every dumb thing I did if
I just had a kid. That was pretty cool.

So that worked out ok. Then I had another one and then all my sisters started
spittin em out and you were surrounded by them. I think you liked that a lot.
I know I teased you sometimes about confusing words like
Norm Crosby did, which irritated you because I dont think
you knew who he was. But you would say stuff like Im flustrated
and I would correct you. Even though I thought it was pretty
funny, I wouldnt do that now. I was a smart ass punk
kid, who just thought he knew things.
Anyway Im sorry about that.

You always insisted that I try to be polite. I still try, but
Sometimes Im not. More now than when I was a kid
though, perhaps thats something. Maybe.

One of the things I always meant to ask you, and never did
was how come when you took us all to swimming lessons you
never learned to swim.
I always wondered about that. Just curious really. I think you
just thought it was important that we learn. We did.

I have a confession to make. Remember when you gave
me that old VCR? You know, the Sony? I mean, that was really
nice of you and I appreciated it and all, especially the thirty seven
tapes you had recorded, which I could have recorded over, I
admit, except that weekend I had already bought a new one, VHS (yeah),
and I didnt use the one you gave us. I never told you that. Sorry.
Looking back, I kinda wish I had kept all those Bob Ross shows
you recorded. He was pretty cool. I didnt know you were
such a fan, but I get that. He was all right.

Anyway its Mothers Day tomorrow and I thought I would do
something special to remember it by remembering some things.
I have a Mom to take care of here, so I better go get some
flowers or something, hadnt I? Just kidding, I already got some stuff.
Also thanks for all the guilt. I know you tried your best, but
I have some pretty good character flaws and it mostly didnt
work. Still, you werent the least bit deterred and I learned some
pretty good stuff to use on my kids so thanks.

Okaaaaaay, the crying stuff, that pretty much always worked. Crap,
dont cry! Sorry I said crap again.
Ill work on it, ok?
Happy Moms Day, Mom.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 05:59 AM | Comments (113)
Post contains 990 words, total size 5 kb.

1

To all of you racists complaining about the hilarious humor of Wanda Sykes:

You're trying to divide a newly reunited nation that has decided to forgo partisan bickering and move on.

You must stop. There will be consequences.

Posted by: Tinian at May 10, 2009 06:06 AM (70sTG)

2 Tinian, go unite with your mom you obsessed wacko.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at May 10, 2009 06:07 AM (24+Md)

Thank you very much.

My husband hurt his back yesterday so I had to bring him breakfast in bed this morning.

_{grumble grumble}

Posted by: Mama AJ at May 10, 2009 06:07 AM (X6Zdh)

I'm so proud of my country!! We are a good, good nation.

(But then there's that torture stuff and Dresden --

-- never mind.)

Posted by: FireHorse at May 10, 2009 06:09 AM (w9FHT)

5 I am proud to be a mom to a future Ace of Spades commenter. I think.

Posted by: kevlarchick at May 10, 2009 06:11 AM (kmp3M)

6 The Mom in my house is running around with her traditional Mom Crown. She'll wear it all day where ever we go. She's gotten her gift, her flowers, her dinner and show. She's called her mother already and right now I am WIFI'ing from her friend's cafe...after she brought her friend flowers and their traditional tea.

...and the bitching has already started about the kids not calling yet. I figure they'll get to it.

Posted by: trainer at May 10, 2009 06:16 AM (4bqbL)

7 Top, I think Tinian at #1 was sarcasam, he's a regular commenter here.

Posted by: Have Blue at May 10, 2009 06:16 AM (mV+es)

8 About Wanda Sykes... I thought dissent was supposed to be patriotic? How can she throw around the "t-word" without a hint of irony?

Oh, that's right. To a liberal, "treasonous" and "criminal" are smears to be used against those who don't stringently follow liberal orthodoxy. What rational person would be against the collectivization that the liberals love?

In the end, there will be only... liberal double standards.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at May 10, 2009 06:17 AM (otlXg)

9 OT/Star Trekish (Trekkish? Trekkian?)

Warning: Spoilerish comments on the new Star Trek flick!

For those of you that saw the new Star Trek movie, should liberals really be comparing Spock to Obama? For all intents and purposes, Spock is portrayed as an competent officer that nevertheless should never be placed in a command position (those of you who have seen it already know which scenes I'm talking about).

Also, did anyone else get the feeling after seeing the movie that someone read "Elegy for a Chief Engineer" while writing Scotty's part?

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at May 10, 2009 06:18 AM (QWAKu)

10 Like all good mothers everywhere, I am busy spending my day putting guilt trips on the men of the household.

Posted by: Long Island at May 10, 2009 06:20 AM (1Y/7B)

11 Dirk Thompson just said: 'For those of you that are sad that the local levies failed, take out your checkbook and write a check to cover the taxes you would have paid, if it had passed.' HA HA HA People love to force rules on others, yet they protests when those rules are forced upon them.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:24 AM (penCf)

My son woke me up at 6:15am this morning to help him find a piece he needed for the Lego he is building. He made it up though by letting me go back to sleep for a little bit. Then he brought me breakfast in bed--Lucky Charms and a glass of water.

Since he's only 7, it of course, was the best breakfast in bed I ever had.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 10, 2009 06:26 AM (AJ4xq)

13 Ha-a-a-a-apy Mother's Day! Well, it's great to be here tonight in uh, u-h-h-h Wash-uh, Washitomac City! It's good to see the press here. Cuz most of you support me. And I know all of you voted for me! That's why I'm wearing my crotch-less tuxedo tonight! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Yep, the boys are gonna get a good workout tonight! A good washing too! Hey, I gotta give Michelle's arms a rest once in a while! Ha-ha-ha! And let me give a Mother's Day shoutout to the eclipse of my life, Michelle! I say "eclipse of my life" cuz with that big ole moon hangin off her I never see the light! Ha-ha-ha! But you know....All the women ask Michelle how'd you get such beautiful, toned arms. How does she do it? What's her secret? Well, ladies. Listen close cuz here it is.... You got to have a generous husband. That's right. A generous man in your life. Michelle loves jewelry. She loves it. So, everyday I give her a pearl necklace! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Get it? A pearl necklace. Know what I'm sayin fellas? Ha-ha-ha! Hey, how about that Rush Limbaugh! I hope he gets kidney failure! HA-HA-HA! And John McCain. I hope he gets gets brain cancer! Ha-ha-ha! Wouldn't that be cool! Cuz he'd die painfully and stuff! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Everyone at Fox News should burn to death! You know, you know they'd try to report the news but they couldn't! They'd be all dead and crispy! No news from you, Shepard Smith! You just been Kentucky Broiled! And without eleven herbs and spices!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-! On a more serious note, people keep asking me: Where are your daughters tonight? Where's little Sucka and Maltomeal? Well, they're grounded. I don't care who you are. You just can't take Air Force One out for a joyride! Can't blame them though. Cuz I'm takin the whole country on a joyride! Ha-ha-ha! All your savings and earnings and wealth too! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Yep, just drivin your kids and grandkids future earnings right off a cliff! Happy Mother's Day!!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Oh! Thank yew! Thank yew so very much! Goodnight, uh, uh, Jeffertonburg DC!

Posted by: President Barak Obama at May 10, 2009 06:26 AM (oEAm5)

14 Also, besides comments being inaccessible a lot of the time this weekend, has anyone else noticed the main page is loading super slow and has been since the Onion video post, at least for me?

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 10, 2009 06:27 AM (AJ4xq)

Called my Mom early this morning. She'll be 86 years old in two weeks. She's going to Brunch, (like breakfast/lunch together, only different), with my sis and brother and sister-in-law and my nephew, (5th B-day, day after Mom's).

Is my Mom into all the Mother's Day hype?

Nope, she's in it for the grub. God love her. Like Mother, like son.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moron Mom's. God loves you.

Posted by: solitary knight at May 10, 2009 06:29 AM (XCoJT)

16 PiS: Yes. The comments are also loading in 'clumps'.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:30 AM (penCf)

17 Happy Mother's Day, Mom! And if you're reading this, I don't know you half as well as I thought I did.

Posted by: notropis at May 10, 2009 06:32 AM (8w9yH)

18 Happy Mother's day to all moms.

Posted by: muffy at May 10, 2009 06:33 AM (zplc6)

19 My son (3) woke me up at 6AM because he thought we were going out to by me a present. He was excited because he couldn't wait to buy me my new ball, slip-n-slide, hot wheels and RED from the CARS movie. I rolled over and asked his father if he had been teaching our son how to buy presents. ( His latest gifts to me are tires, a freezer and a dish washer.)

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:34 AM (penCf)

to all our motherly readers

Not too many Bitchelle Obama types on this site.*

* Except for honest cloud.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:38 AM (penCf)

21 Wanda Sykes biggest insult is billing herself as a 'comedian.'

Posted by: nickless at May 10, 2009 06:40 AM (MMC8r)

22 I called my mother-in-law in Florida this morning. She's going parasailng over the beach today. She's 83 years old.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 10, 2009 06:40 AM (9Lqw8)

23 Happy Mother's Day to all the AOSHQ moms! I was served breakfast in bed - poached eggs w/spinach on mashed potatoes with a tall glass of local microbrew.

The family wanted to take me out but I declined. Just want to stay in bed, surf the net, and nap. The perfect gift.

Watched the videos of Barack/Wanda from last night. I was surprised at how mild the applause for BO was when he was first announced. I thought he would have received a standing ovation, etc. Pretty tepid in my view.

Posted by: Cheri at May 10, 2009 06:41 AM (AQtrD)

We are psychics:

http://tinyurl.com/o2734o

President Barack Obama ended on a serious note, pledging his undying support for journalists and specifically newspapers.. . . Your ultimate success is essential to success of our democracy before shortly saying Government without a tough and vibrant media is not an option for the United States of America.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:42 AM (penCf)

#19 momma

....tires, a freezer and a dish washer

I'm sure if you keep up the good work there's a new lawnmower in your future.

Posted by: solitary knight at May 10, 2009 06:43 AM (XCoJT)

26 Wanda Sykes used to be funny.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 10, 2009 06:44 AM (9Lqw8)

I'll call my mom after she gets home from church and has had a chance to get the kitchen cleaned up. Ya know old dad probably ain't gonna spring for eating out just cause it's Mother's Day. That's just waisting money is all that is.

As far as my children's mother is concerned, well I did shave this morning IYKWIMAITYD. So tonight ought to be an even more special gift than usual.

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 10, 2009 06:45 AM (gudTT)

28 #21

Agreed. Also, I think she's a Whoopi Goldberg wannabe. Except I think Goldberg is (note - was, until her showing on The View and her sick anti-Bush jokes) funnier and I enjoyed her movies a lot better. Look at some of Sykes work (Pootie Tang, Clerks 2, and My Super Ex-Girlfriend) and honesty try to tell me her acting is better than Goldberg in stuff like: Sister Act, Jumpin' Jack Flash (my mom especially loves this movie), and Ghost.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at May 10, 2009 06:46 AM (otlXg)

29 19-Momma, you'd be best served to make your husband watch the jcpenney "Beware the Doghouse" vid. The guy gives his wife a vacuum cleaner for their anniversary. It goes very poorly for him from then on....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F2md4uGmMU

I think its the funniest thing I've ever seen on the topic.

Posted by: Derak at May 10, 2009 06:46 AM (QIsMa)

30 Tepid applause for the one? They know you don't clap in church.

Posted by: billypaintbrush at May 10, 2009 06:47 AM (Txl46)

waisting = wasting

fuckin homonyms are killin me

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 10, 2009 06:48 AM (gudTT)

32 #12 - Lucky Charms & water....precious!

#19 - Too true! My last birthday I was "gifted" with my car getting it's 5,000 mi. service, dinner at my husband's favorite restaurant, and music CD's of my husband's and kids favorite groups.......have to laugh.

Posted by: Cheri at May 10, 2009 06:48 AM (AQtrD)

Obama is following 80 years of the same old failed housing policies that got us here today. Doesn't he know that the primary definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result? He brags about knowledge of the law, but is painfully uninformed and inept when it comes to failed social programs. High school economics might help.

One quote: the programs cannot work because they try to " .... solve a problem of wealth creation through debt creation.

A lengthy, City Journal article, but the best historical explanation yet. A must read, well worth the time spent. Please -- somebody send this one to Obama.

http://tinyurl.com/c5esx4

Posted by: Observer at May 10, 2009 06:50 AM (u0GlI)

34 Thanks, and right back atcha, moms. I really wanted to spend Mother's Day reading and playing on the computer. Alternating between Scrabble and AOS (gotta do something while the page loads). But MY mom wants to have a cookout, and who am I to deny her?

Posted by: April at May 10, 2009 06:51 AM (Y+1Yb)

29 - thanks. I will make him watch it.

31- my spell checker just use to tell me it wasn't set to English (why it isn't I don't know. Howto change it, don't know that either) Anyway, this morning I clicked spell check (out of habit) and it told me that it didn't recognize the language I was using. Oy!

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:52 AM (penCf)

Wait a Minute

Has His Oneness now also changed His stance on the Second Amendment, or has Michelle?

I just saw something on TV about Michelle "bearing arms".

Posted by: oneyedman at May 10, 2009 06:52 AM (A2uXF)

Yep. They decided ACORN could use guns to steal $$$$ from us. /off

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 06:55 AM (penCf)

38 36 should have said: (sorry)

Yep. They decided ACORN could use guns to steal $$$$ from us, instead of just doing it legislatively or with protests and scare tactics. /off

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 07:01 AM (penCf)

39 Just want to give a shout out to all the MILF's out there ...in a I'll be in my bunk kind of way...

Posted by: Paladin at May 10, 2009 07:10 AM (bW9IA)

40 Mainstream Conservative Pundit Condemns Offend-A-Feminist Week

Posted by: richard mcenroe at May 10, 2009 07:20 AM (CqxjU)

41 < href="http://tinyurl.com/qrs3tf"> Ooh! Shiny new shooty things!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at May 10, 2009 07:21 AM (CqxjU)

42 Completely FUBAR'd that one. Try again: Happy Mother's Day!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at May 10, 2009 07:22 AM (CqxjU)

43 Now, Ooh! Shiny Shooty Things!

Posted by: richard mcenroe at May 10, 2009 07:25 AM (CqxjU)

44 The hero worship just keeps on coming....Dowd worshipping "Barack Spock"

I know Barack Spock likes newspapers. An aide told me during the campaign that Mr. Obama would get cranky if he didnt have some time set aside during the day to read The New York Times.

And it was clear from his very first news conference, when I began covering his long-shot bid for the White House and he began referring to stories he had read in The Times, that Mr. Obamas supple mind was nourished by news and books. You knew he would never inspire alarm as W. did, that if Condi walked too far away or his notes blew off the lectern, hed be utterly lost.

Once, during his campaign trip to Europe, Mr. Obama told me that he had briefly sold subscriptions to The New York Times when he was at Columbia University to help pay for school, but confessed he wasnt very good at it.

I said that if he won the presidency, hed be pretty busy, but that maybe he could find time to sell a few more subscriptions. It would really help us out in the current business crunch.

He gave me that wry Spock look.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at May 10, 2009 07:34 AM (5r0Tz)

45 Tinian - good mock.

Posted by: Topsecretk9 at May 10, 2009 07:34 AM (24+Md)

46 Everyone be sure to wish Wanda Sykes Happy Mother's Day. Oh, never mind, she's aborted all her kids. I guess her form of abstinence is better than Palin's.

Posted by: CDR M at May 10, 2009 07:42 AM (TJoU6)

Government without a tough and vibrant media is not an option for the United States of America.

He could've said "a country without a tough and vibrant media ..." or "government without the accountability assisted by a tough and vibrant media ..." but he said "Government without a tough and vibrant media ...".

Hm.

Posted by: FireHorse at May 10, 2009 07:45 AM (w9FHT)

48 So in actuality, Wanda has personally killed more people than Bush with her two abortions (that she has admitted to).

Posted by: CDR M at May 10, 2009 07:46 AM (TJoU6)

49 Hmm, I don't know if Wanda Dykes will ever have anything to do with mothers day.

Posted by: annoyamouse at May 10, 2009 07:46 AM (wPRKf)

This year my kids gave me the virus they've been passing around for the last 2 weeks. My throat hurts and I have a headache. Woohoo!

Happy Mothers Day

Posted by: Naan at May 10, 2009 07:49 AM (qEpn4)

51 Im just surprised by the above comments on Sykes's abortions.....someone had sex with her?

Amazing.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at May 10, 2009 07:50 AM (5r0Tz)

52 I've enjoyed Wanda Sykes humor from time to time, mostly on Curb Your Enthusiasm. But I watched her act last night and felt it was just mean spirited. It didn't come across as funny, just vitriolic.

Posted by: tcbevo at May 10, 2009 07:53 AM (z4daD)

but he said "Government without a tough and vibrant media ...".

Holy Robin Legs BatMan! I posted that link, and I didn't even catch THAT. He said gov't. I am officially speechless. This one phrase needs to be ran in a commercial talling the lemmings to wake up.

Great catch!

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 07:54 AM (penCf)

Cheney, talking about Powell on Face the Nation: "I thought Colin Powell left the party a long time ago. I didn't know he was still a Republican."

http://tinyurl.com/9vtzn

Cheney, you magnificent bastard!

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 07:58 AM (penCf)

55 #54 That was well said! Quite funny.

Posted by: annoyamouse at May 10, 2009 08:04 AM (wPRKf)

56 Man I wish he would have ran for pres. (Cheney) He is what Bush was after 9-11. He doesn't take any shit and he doesn't sugarcoat a thing. He also loves America and Her people. That is the makings of a good leader.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 08:07 AM (penCf)

57 '48--So in actuality, Wanda has personally killed more people than Bush with her two abortions (that she has admitted to).' Her mother must be very proud.

Posted by: politicalmuse at May 10, 2009 08:08 AM (kLKnf)

Great poem Gade. You have real talent. Do you remember the first time your mom cussed? I do. (My mom, not yours)

Also thanks for all the guilt

I always hated my mom's guilt trips. I still do really. But now that I'm a mom, I must say that guilt trips really do work. Now, I pity my kids because when I find an idea that works, I use it and expand on it.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 08:14 AM (penCf)

59 Happy Mothers Day Wanda!

Posted by: Abortion Clinic Dumpster at May 10, 2009 08:28 AM (N5Xhz)

60 Happy mother's day from Mr. T.

Posted by: Powdered Milk Man at May 10, 2009 08:29 AM (SqDdD)

61 Goddamn it, when did my brother start writing poetry? Fucking suck-up, always taking up all of Mom's attention.

Posted by: Londo Cardassian at May 10, 2009 08:30 AM (AfReK)

62 Happy Mother's Day, everyone!!!!! Hope it's a day filled with flowers and hugs.

Hug your moms today for those of us who are no longer \able to do so to ours, and tell them that you love them!

Posted by: THeREsaD at May 10, 2009 08:31 AM (MO2LE)

63 52 I've enjoyed Wanda Sykes humor from time to time, mostly on Curb Your Enthusiasm. But I watched her act last night and felt it was just mean spirited. It didn't come across as funny, just vitriolic.

I'm a bit freaked out about what has happened to the Left. They have become so full of vitriol and sheer hate that it's frightening. What happened to being a good winner? These people are going full on fascist, and want to destroy anyone who has the audacity to slightly disagree with them. When did the US become a one party system? Why are they still so filled with anger towards Republicans? And what kind of drugs do we need to slip them to make them tolerable?

Posted by: shibumi at May 10, 2009 08:35 AM (OKZrE)

mean spirited

There's that phrase I was reaching for. How many times were we told Republicans were just mean spirited during the Bush years.

Good thing we're done with all that.

Does anyone remember comedians wishing illness on Dems. in front of Bush?

Posted by: kidney at May 10, 2009 08:38 AM (FgUFX)

Why are they still so filled with anger

It is their anger that gets them into the 'cool lib. kids' club. Their anger trumps all common sense and individualism. That phrase, 'blind with rage', describes them perfectly.

We should start calling the hate filled leftiest Brimps (blind w/ rage imps) or Brasses (blind w/ rage asses).

Take my poll: Brimps or Brasses?

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 08:43 AM (penCf)

66 Blimps or blasses?

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 10, 2009 08:47 AM (6Edco)

67 @63 And what kind of drugs do we need to slip them to make them tolerable? Cyanide?

Posted by: Terry at May 10, 2009 08:51 AM (foKte)

68 63

it is a short trip indeed from the type of extreme hatred going on now on the left, even though they control the entire government, to the kind of purges and attacks that went on in the ww2 era.

Posted by: Anti-Harkonnen Freedom Fighter at May 10, 2009 08:53 AM (5r0Tz)

69 So Wanda Sykes would let her kids get into a car with a total stranger but not Dick Cheney ? I wonder how she'd feel if that total stranger turned out to be Ted Kennedy ?

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 08:56 AM (+FzLa)

70 Maybe it's just PMS or general crankiness, but Sykes has pushed me over the edge. I've given up all hope for the future and substituted rage. I'm grieving for what America once was and will probably be stuck here in this second stage of grief, anger, for sometime. I don't think I'll live long enough to reach acceptance. There is no fighting irrationality. The left and the media (but I repeat myself) have lost all grasp on reality and logic. I respect differences of opinion but the blind rage directed at anyone who doesn't tow the party line is baffling. Equally baffling is the blind adulation a la Quinn and Dowd. I'm heading to the range to blow off some steam and a couple hundred rounds.

Posted by: dumb_blonde at May 10, 2009 08:57 AM (oprl5)

71 Pelosi went to Iraq today. How's that for hypocrisy? Seems like just 2 years ago she was saying we should turn our backs and walk away from Iraq.

Posted by: momma at May 10, 2009 09:00 AM (penCf)

72 it is a short trip indeed from the type of extreme hatred going on now on the left, even though they control the entire government, to the kind of purges and attacks that went on in the ww2 era.

Interesting point and I'll reflect on it while I clean my AR-15 and stack ammo in the closet.

Posted by: turtle at May 10, 2009 09:01 AM (N5Xhz)

73 Don't know about you guy's, but I got Michelle those hundred pound dumbell's and anabolic steroid's she's been wanting for Mother's Day.

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 10, 2009 09:07 AM (+FzLa)

74 With Helen Thomas, Wanda Sykes and Michelle Obama all in the same room together last nite, the ugly factor was definitly pumped to 11.

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 09:10 AM (+FzLa)

Remember how Bush Derangement Syndrome was the acceptable form of "respectful opposition"? Well, I have voiced some mild opposition to our current "Lord and Master", etc., and have been attacked as vile by certain members of the academic elite (I teach part time at the local community college). Even though I am much milder than BDS, when I call it "ODS" I'm called, among other things, a bigot.

The funniest thing about that is: the only thing I DON'T dislike about our fearless leader is his race. I dislike everything else, but not his race.

Posted by: CODEKEYGUY at May 10, 2009 09:14 AM (+WuRB)

76 Happy MILF Day !

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 09:25 AM (+FzLa)

I'd call Mom and tell her I love her, but we forgot to install a phone line in the casket.

Sorry. Bitter about Mother's Day.

Posted by: jaleach at May 10, 2009 09:38 AM (gHrZU)

78 The funniest thing about that is: the only thing I DON'T dislike about our fearless leader is his race. I dislike everything else, but not his race.

I have an uber liberal co-worker who was horrified that his Mother does not like Obama because of his race. I told him that race is a stupid reason to dislike someone.

Which it is. I have dozens of reason to hate The One. I just neglected to mention them at the time.

Posted by: shibumi at May 10, 2009 09:44 AM (OKZrE)

79 @77

Hey j, sorry about your loss. Your mom's still with you in spirit, so wish her a Happy Mother's Day, she'll hear you.

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 09:46 AM (+FzLa)

80 Take my poll: Brimps or Brasses?
66 Blimps or blasses?

I was thinking something a bit more....severe.

Something that goes beyond ODS.

Maybe "Liberal Psychotic Disorder."

Anyone got any ideas? This is way beyond ODS...and needs to be treated with some hard core anti-psychotics.

/ on one Law & Order episode, they had a man with a psychotic disorder that they treated with "Depaquil." I like the sound of that...

Posted by: shibumi at May 10, 2009 09:48 AM (OKZrE)

81
My mother raised six kids on my dad's tiny salary, then went back to work herself. She'd always wanted to travel, but didn't have the time or the money, and figured she'd do it after she retired. She was nearing retirement when she found the lump in her breast. That was 23 years ago, and I don't think a day goes by but that I wish I could give her a call and talk. So, all you morons whose moms are still around: give her a call, tell her you love her. There will come a day when you can't, and you wish you could.

Posted by: Brown Line at May 10, 2009 09:48 AM (JIV2+)

82 I ain't puttin' up with any o' your crap!

Posted by: Yo Mama at May 10, 2009 09:50 AM (r+lWr)

Don't bother doing a search for "Wanda Sykes" in this article.

The AP is performing its usual cone-of-silence duties for Obama and his fellow Dems by completely sanitizing the White House Press Corps Dinner last night.

Why, Obama just "poked fun at himself", and according to the picture lovingly included by the ever-vigilant Seattle Times, Michelle even learned to fake patriotism by placing her hand over her heart for the Star Spangled Banner!

Gosh, aren't they just so wonderful! And Wanda Sykes wishing Rush Limbaugh a painful death... didn't happen, because Wanda wasn't even there. I bet she's doing a USO tour in the perpetual war with EastAsia / Oceania.

Posted by: Your betters in the MSM at May 10, 2009 09:51 AM (L4jPh)

84 Mom gets to call me collect today at 4pm. It must suck when she gets all choked up at the prison payphone.

Posted by: hutch1200 at May 10, 2009 09:52 AM (qmp05)

Thanks Mom's everywhere, you're the greatest!

Posted by: shoey at May 10, 2009 09:53 AM (RxUMK)

86
Happy mothers day to yall.
I also like to refer to it as national Chinese Restaurant Day.

Posted by: YIKES! at May 10, 2009 09:54 AM (1tvww)

jaleach, I understand. I do. Mother's day was kinda not so good for a number of years.

My condolences.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 10, 2009 10:09 AM (eiOZw)

88 #63 52 Our lesson in the post-liberty era. Look, you're right. The leftards have it all, at last... they have had academia and the media for decades, with few exceptions. Now they have two of the three branches of the federal gubmint, and with another retirement of a Justice beyond Souter, they will have all three. So one might expect spirits of good cheer and optimism. One might expect the leftard vanguard to convert the last eight years of bile into friendly admonition to the corridors of power... to advance the leftard project to the next level. They could start talking about lowering the age of consent for example, by showing a mature, earnest couple of 17 and 16, struggling to enter the adult world, but held back by their irresponsible, bigoted, alcoholic parents who won't let them break out on their own. I guarantee you could find lots of such couples in a nation of 300 million. And the next crusade could be to lower the age of consent to 15... and of course the age of voting would have to lower as well. Or the left could push for strict limits on the number of cars permitted in urban centers, much like London. For the best of environmental reasons, of course. They could easily begin the restriction of automobiles upon the roads, all sold in the trappings of greening the nation and fighting climate change. You could be taxed on your mileage, progressively, as a measure to encourage public transit and pollution abatement. Can you imagine the left's glee at the prospect of controlling your freedom of movement by car, and forcing you to relinquish your authority over your own children at earlier and earlier ages? There are many ways to debase our remaining freedoms, and they will surely come. Yet, the left seems to take far more pleasure in beating dead horses (I'm looking at you, GOP). As an aside, the GOP and the "pragmatic" conservative pundits and radio talkers insist we do not fight back with strident opposition... because President Hopechange, the blind unicorn god, is so popular. There is at least one simple conclusion. The prime, central project of the leftards is to crush opposition of any kind, even after enormous victory. It is not enough to burn down the house of classical liberalism and freedom. They must scatter the ashes and salt the earth. Erecting the prison of Nanny State can come later. The taste for vengeance on the left is so addictive it can trump the will to build tyrannical institutions. If there is any silver lining, it would be that the pace of forging new chains for the people will be slowed down by their penchant for persecution. I used to think the scare scenarios of censorship and the micromanagement of the citizens' lives were just paranoia. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm sure of this much: We are well on the way to where anyone who finds gay marriage absurd will be lumped in with those who think non-whites are inferior. By the same token, anyone who thinks getting free medicine or housing or transportation is not a right will be put in the same category as someone who doesn't think free speech is a right. And ironically, free speech will no longer be your right. Give it ten years and you will see... but you won't be permitted to talk about it.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 10, 2009 10:09 AM (AZGON)

89 Let me add this, from Richard Vigurie in the LA Times. He's exactly right... why are so many leftard voices attacking Limbaugh instead of GOP politicians? Because the left attacks real threats, not phantoms. The GOP in its current state presents no threat to the left. None. Democrats have nothing to fear from today's Republican Party leaders. That's why Democrats have taken to targeting Rush Limbaugh and others who aren't in formal leadership positions in the GOP but who forcefully articulate a conservative vision.

Posted by: George Orwell at May 10, 2009 10:17 AM (AZGON)

90 My mom's a raging, died in the wool liberal, but I love her anyway. She's a great mom, even if she is a moonbat.

Happy Mothers Day Mom !

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 10:41 AM (+FzLa)

91 I am proud to be a mom to a future Ace of Spades commenter. I think.

Congrats. Moron or moronette? and if moronette, when is here 18th birthday?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at May 10, 2009 10:45 AM (BDH94)

92 http://tinyurl.com/pr49vw Happy Mothers Day, moronstyle.

Posted by: max at May 10, 2009 10:47 AM (6gSTW)

93 It's not Happy Mother's Day for me fo sure.

Mom was a slut and kicked my sorry ass to the curb. "No time for you Barry" was the first thing I learned. But I overachieved so it don't matter any more. I'm getting even and this government of mine will be the Mother of all governments.

You.Just.Wait.

Posted by: Barak Obama at May 10, 2009 11:05 AM (dfM13)

M is for the many hobos she killed for me.

O is for the other hobos she killed for me.

T is for the hobos she killed for me.

H is for the hobos she killed for me.

E is for every hobo she killed for me.

R is for the Rite vodka that she gave me.

Put them all together and it spells MOTHER.

Posted by: andycanuck at May 10, 2009 11:14 AM (Arft5)

95 I had no idea who this Wanda person was, but did find out that she's the spokesperson for Applebee's. With that, I move that our Virginia Moron Brigade convenes future monthly meetings to the Buffalo Wild Wings n' Shit.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 10, 2009 11:23 AM (n2eCn)

96 With that, I move that our Virginia Moron Brigade convenes future monthly meetings to the Buffalo Wild Wings n' Shit.

I second that. Bdub's has better lookin' slut's.

Posted by: Blazer at May 10, 2009 11:28 AM (+FzLa)

I called my mom to wish her Happy Mother's Day even though I'm angry with her. I wasn't angry when we were talking and she doesn't know I'm mad at her. Sent her a card earlier this week stuffed with heart confetti so it'll fall all over the floor when she opens it up. I love my mom lots.

Menopause and life is making me a little depressed today. But my family took me to see Star Trek again so I'm feeling a lot better.

Posted by: katya at May 10, 2009 12:44 PM (oRJZj)

98 "77

I'd call Mom and tell her I love her, but we forgot to install a phone line in the casket.

Sorry. Bitter about Mother's Day.

Posted by: jaleach at May 10, 2009 02:38 PM (gHrZU)"

Your mom is probably watching over you and knows that you love her and knows you are upset, so just smile and tell her you love her, cause that is what all mothers want, nothing more. (yes I know she is not here for you to say it but jsut tell it to the wind, she will know)

Posted by: muffy at May 10, 2009 12:49 PM (zplc6)

99 While we're on the subject:

Big ups to my daughter's first mother, a young woman who, facing a crisis pregnancy of epic proportions (seriously - you don't even WANT to know), chose to listen to her heart and give birth to the most awesome, beautiful, talented, brilliant little girl ever and then placed her into my (and my husband's) loving arms, thereby enabling me to finally become a mother.

If a braver, more noble woman is on this earth, I haven't met her.

Mothers rule.
And there's a special place in heaven for First Mothers.

Posted by: Anon at May 10, 2009 12:58 PM (pqrDp)

100 Anon, yours is a love story that liberals hate. They truly don't understand self sacrifice.

Posted by: katya at May 10, 2009 01:01 PM (oRJZj)

101 Yeah, Jaleach. I lost my mom five years ago. She had just turned 65. She was my best friend and we'd talk on the phone three times a day or more. So I know the pain. Now I have a four year old so it's my turn to be mommy.

Posted by: Sassypants at May 10, 2009 01:02 PM (WJ0on)

102

I'm glad to celebrate Mothers Day, with Dear Old Mom.

Fathers day is so fucking confusing though.

Posted by: hutch1200 at May 10, 2009 01:07 PM (qmp05)

103

hutch,

Yeah, Mother's Day is pretty easy. A meal out, some flowers or something girly usually. Maybe a movie. What to do for Fathers? Barbeque is all I can think of.

Posted by: katya at May 10, 2009 01:14 PM (oRJZj)

104

Katya,

BBQ is fine. Let old Pops do all the cookin' too. He loves that!!

No kiddin'!!

Posted by: codekeyguy at May 10, 2009 02:09 PM (+WuRB)

105 I sent Obumbo a Mother's Day Card today. It said"

HAPPY DAY, MOTHER....

Sometimes Mother is just half a word.

Posted by: rls at May 10, 2009 02:25 PM (k4h7p)

106 Fathers day card from Hutch: To Whom it may concern, including all Hells Angels and some of the Oakland Raiders....................

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