Ace of Spades HQ

April 30, 2008

Roger The Rocket Makes a Moppet
— Ace

A fifteen year old girl. For God's sake.

I wonder if his story will change from "I didn't do steroids and/or HGH" to "I did so much steroids and HGH I went out of my mind and so I'm not responsible for my actions."

Drugs, including alcohol, are being used as a scapegoat for an awful lot of pathologies lately. Do something wrong, say it was the drugs acting, go to rehab, go on Oprah, the redemption is complete.

What do you do if you're not on drugs or alcohol but just do something awful? What if you are, as Bill Cosby said, just basically an asshole? Where's your reset button then?

I always got the impression that Michael Richards was something of a straight-edge health-nut. Not sure if that's accurate. But it's too bad he wasn't a drunk or drug-user, at least for his career. He could have blamed the N-word tirade on smack or something.

Posted by: Ace at 05:51 AM | Comments (34)
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I don't know baseball, But I vaguely remember that guy that first wrote the book about steriods and affairs in baseball. Wasn't Clemens the only one he said he knew that didn't have an affair? Or am thinking of someone else?

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at April 30, 2008 05:56 AM (DR+pw)

2 Damn Rocket, show a little discretion will ya?

Posted by: Wade Boggs at April 30, 2008 06:01 AM (hlYel)

3 "Rocket Dorks a Moppet" may be the best Dr. Seuss title ever.

Posted by: apotheosis at April 30, 2008 06:03 AM (CiAHf)

4 It's so true -- people do bad things because, well, they're people...Rocket needs to come clean, admit his failure, ask for forgiveness, apologize to the young girl and her family, and then seek redemption...if he blames it on the drugs or his lifestyle, then he can forget about redemption.

Posted by: Richard Romano at April 30, 2008 06:19 AM (GpwqX)

5 Wonder how his wife feels about covering for him now...

Posted by: someone at April 30, 2008 06:21 AM (2z2WN)

6 As someone on the radio said, he was 28 at the time. Were 18 year old girls too old for him?

Posted by: Guy Ritchie's Career at April 30, 2008 06:21 AM (PRWf8)

Sorta off topic. I posted this previously elsewhere. I was at the grocery store a few weeks ago and I noticed what appeared to be a hot looking lady with her back to me. As a full blooded male pig I went to investigate further and passed by her to get a look to see if the face matched the body. I turned to look at her and found myself staring into the eyes of Mrs. Clemens. She is one MILF hottie.

Posted by: polynikes at April 30, 2008 06:25 AM (m2CN7)

8 I always got the impression that Michael Richards was something of a straight-edge health-nut. Not sure if that's accurate. But it's too bad he wasn't a drunk or drug-user, at least for his career. He could have blamed the N-word tirade on smack or something.

Well, what ever you do, don't go on an Imus/Lott/Richards groveling tour.

Posted by: Guy Ritchie's Career at April 30, 2008 06:25 AM (PRWf8)

9 "I turned to look at her and found myself staring into the eyes of Mrs. Clemens. She is one MILF hottie."

HGH!

Posted by: someone at April 30, 2008 06:45 AM (2z2WN)

Roger Clemens, disguised in sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat, snuck into the hotel. When he opened the door to his room, he saw that his girlfriend was packing her suitcase.

"What are you doing?, he asked.

"I'm leaving you,", she replied. "I just found out that you're a pedophile."

"Pedophile, eh? That's a mighty big word for an eight year old."

Posted by: physics geek at April 30, 2008 06:46 AM (MT22W)

11 Well hell... What a pig. I gave him every benefit of the doubt, but a man who cheats on his family is a cheater through and through. He's officially off the roster of baseball heroes in our household.

Posted by: Redhead Infidel at April 30, 2008 06:53 AM (UotbS)

Hey Rog,

Do you still have your TX residence? I hear their looking for foster parents young impressionable women. Great opportunity for ya Rog.

Posted by: burnitup at April 30, 2008 07:01 AM (r0SN0)

13 No pocket rocket jokes?

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at April 30, 2008 07:13 AM (1rNdj)

Well I'm pretty cynical, so I always assume that any professional athletes who are out on the road for months have had occasional dalliances. But to have a 10 year affair with an underage girl, well that's fairly low even by baseball player standards.

Posted by: Maetenloch (not a maniac) at April 30, 2008 07:14 AM (o3VzL)

15 A fifteen year old girl. For God's sake.

Ugh. This is just like with the anti-smoking crap.

Successful propaganda erases history. Everyone's forgotten what the world was like, what we thought then, just a handful of years ago.

At the time he did it, banging a fifteen-year-old wasn't considered a "pathology." It was merely gauche, something a sleazy rock star would do.

Remember? You were there. It was real.

Posted by: Retred (Not Gay) at April 30, 2008 07:32 AM (kCch8)

16 Great title, Ace. You have a flair for them.

*laughs*

Posted by: Robert at April 30, 2008 07:47 AM (hcsKC)

When I was 15 I dated a 23 year old for a couple of weeks. I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time because I was young and stupid and thought it made me look cool. He dumped me because I wouldn't put out.

Obviously, there's no way Clemens would have let her hang around him for that long if she wasn't spreading it for him. What a douche.

Posted by: Joanie at April 30, 2008 07:47 AM (4dSWu)

she wasn't spreading it for him.

Sweet, innocent Joanie. Please tell me you're talking about sandwich making.

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at April 30, 2008 08:01 AM (1rNdj)

Yes exactly, sandwiches. She wouldn't hold the pickle.

Oh and btw, Jack M's tongue could choke a bear.

Posted by: Joanie at April 30, 2008 08:24 AM (Z9tCp)

20 Joanie,
I thought I was the only one who knew that.

Posted by: Bear de Blog at April 30, 2008 09:22 AM (5/uG4)

21 " What do you do if you're not on drugs or alcohol but just do something awful?"

Reminds me of what Heinrich Heine wrote about Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria: "He was usually insane, but had periods of lucidity during which he was merely stupid."

Posted by: Bob Hawkins at April 30, 2008 09:23 AM (pnBkj)

22 What do you do if you're not on drugs or alcohol but just do something awful? What if you are, as Bill Cosby said, just basically an asshole? Where's your reset button then?

In the case of douchebags who bang underaged girls, I'm thinking a swift punch to the crotch area might flip their internal breaker.

Posted by: crankyprof at April 30, 2008 10:02 AM (mlPw2)

23 Hey, just what Baseball needs. Another scandal!

Posted by: Jim Rockford at April 30, 2008 03:14 PM (4878o)

24 It's perfect white trash tv.
All that's missing is a double wide,a shotgun, meth, and guest shot on Cops.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at April 30, 2008 04:19 PM (PBGAP)

Roger's a piker. Real athletes bang 'em much younger.

http://www.buffalonews.com/sports/columns/story/334471.html

Note that Karl Malone's paramour had their kid when she was 13. Given a 9 month gestation period, odds are pretty good that Karl was screwing a 12 year old.

Ugh.

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