Ace of Spades HQ

May 31, 2006

Real Headline (Honestly!): Cincinnati Crazy For Cornhole
— Ace

But who isn't, really?

Cincinnati crazy for cornhole
...
By Gina Holt
[Cincinnati] Post staff reporter
Fill a bag... hammer... and everyone will go crazy. Crazy for cornhole, that is.
Cornhole, also known as Baggo, is being played by people of all ages in backyards, parks, church festivals and bars. It's a simple game that even children can play. ... Easier to say than do, however. Just ask anyone who has caught the fast-spreading cornhole craze.

A little selective editing never killed anyone. If it's good enough for Maureen Dowd, it's good enough for me.

Let's not get hung up on it being called "Baggo." Or even that Gina Holt is a "staff" reporter. That's just too cheap.

But I'll take this:

Ed Cox, store manager at Dick's Sporting Goods in Florence, Ky., ...started carrying cornhole about a year ago but under the name "Baggo."

For those unfamiliar with the area, Dick's is right behind Butz Plumbing, to the right of Handy's Quality Reach-Arounds.

Thanks to a poster who didn't leave a name, so I'll call her "May."

Rocketeer notes:

Cincinnati has such...strange language and traditions.
Ever order Cincy style chili? First thing they ask is, "How do you want it, three-, four-, or five-way?" Allegedly, it refers to the number of toppings you get on your chili.
What do you make of city where the following sentence is a very real possibility:
"Hey, how about a quickie cornhole while you're waiting for your three-way to come up?"

Cincinnati

Official spiritual capital of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM).

I Got A Feveh... And The Only Prescription Is More Cornhole: Cincinnati should be proud.

World's best-kept secret

West Side's game: Cornhole
...
The obvious question is: Why, then, would anyone want to live in Cincinnati? The answer is simple. Besides baseball, homestyle chili and flying pigs, this city has the World's Best Kept Secret.
It's called Cornhole.

I'm sold. What do apartments run for?

I was terrified about embarking on Summer Adventure No. 6, mostly because a.) Cornhole originated on the West Side of Cincinnati, which is generally any area west of I-75; b.) I am considered an East-Sider because I live east of I-71; and c.) West-Siders eat East-Siders for breakfast.

I don't care who you are, that whole paragraph is just hot.

While the game rages on the West Side, it is creeping eastward with the speed of a distracted tortoise. It must be known that many West-Siders' entire pride is rooted in Cornhole, and the word itself is plastered on restaurant marquees, telephone post signs, bar advertisements and the occasional tattooed arm.
As I drove to Whiteoak's Northside Knights of Columbus Community Benefit Center for my Cornhole debut, I promptly wondered: Will I make it out alive?, followed closely by WHAT IS CORNHOLE? I brought along my East-Side ally, Danielle Boal of Hyde Park, who also was perplexed about Cornhole and somewhat skeptical of an outing involving neither wine-tasting nor sushi.
Our afternoon tour guide was business manager Jerry Vesper, hereto referred to as Boomie, because that is, in fact, his nickname.

"Boomie." I wouldn't play with him, personally.

Cornhole is big over here because so many different people can play, and men and women can compete against each other equally, Boomie boomed.

Can they compete equally, though? Color me skeptical. I suppose on defense they might do all right, but I have trouble believing they can score as effectively as men.

Teams of two compete ...; first team to 21 points wins. A hole-in-one counts as three points[.]

Pretty much as I would have guessed.

That's it? I asked, relieved. That's all Cornhole is?
Just wait, said Sharon Linde, manager of Northside's weekly Cornhole leagues. Once you play, you'll see that it's kind of addictive. But it's really fun.

You're preachin' to the choir, sister.

And it's not just fun. It's science!

As any student of mechanics will attest, corn hole is a game of vectors, moments of inertia, and trajectories.

Anyone familiar with cornhole will attest to that. Angles are key.

The site includes this joke, too:

"What did Leonardo de Vinci say when he realized how much fun corn hole was?"
"Es a tuiza gona bona corna baggi!"

I remember reading that at some point in The DaVinci Code. The real secret of that book? It's all about cornhole.

Posted by: Ace at 10:53 AM | Comments (32)
Post contains 744 words, total size 5 kb.

1 No, no, no.

Cornhole is one side, Baggo is when you turn 'em over!

*Ashamed of myself now.*

Posted by: Log Cabin at May 31, 2006 11:03 AM (Vsh3q)

2 As the Indian squaw said to the frontier trader, after taking a bag of corn in trade, "Money hole in front - cornhole in back"

Posted by: RLS at May 31, 2006 11:06 AM (Lh7Vt)

3 See, now you're making me want to stop and get a 3-way on my way home.

Posted by: Ken at May 31, 2006 11:06 AM (gOnfs)

4 This is killing me.

No more Corn Hole, it hurts, I don't think I can take much more.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at May 31, 2006 11:11 AM (QTv8u)

5 So, Ace, in the interest of journalistic research, when are you going cornholing? Could we hold a drive to tempt you? Who wouldn't pay good money to see Ace cornholded?

Posted by: shawn at May 31, 2006 11:16 AM (Cw+TL)

6 I think this is a movie about the sport that's sweeping the nation:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0267390/

Posted by: moflicky at May 31, 2006 11:17 AM (1zLWs)

7 Is this a team sport? Could we have an Ace Allstar Cornhole Team? With shirts and hats!

Posted by: shawn at May 31, 2006 11:22 AM (Cw+TL)

8 Ace, I live in Cincy, and it's not your spiritual center--unless you are of inbred Appalachian descent. East Side folks put their money in the bank and West Siders put it under their mattresses.

Pete Rose is from the West Side.

I hate cornhole. But I will watch it while drinking beer and having a giant three way.

Posted by: kevlarchick at May 31, 2006 11:25 AM (bWRxm)

9 Do Cincy people put there shirt over their heads and run around yelling "I am Cornholio"

Posted by: roc ingersol at May 31, 2006 11:35 AM (m2CN7)

10 "WORMS!" "REDLIGHT" "PROTRACTOR!!"

For the LOVE OF GOD! What is the "safe word" for CORNHOLE!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at May 31, 2006 11:42 AM (QTv8u)

11 At least Cincinatti comes off pretty innocuous in this story. I wonder how many poor souls still don't know about those devious bastards in Cleveland and their "steamer."

Posted by: Mark V. at May 31, 2006 11:46 AM (2ipxY)

12 sorry if I repeated a lame joke with 'Cornholio'. I came back to my desk and refreshed and posted on the lastest posting. I didn't think that there would be two prior postings regard to Cornhole. I momentarily forgot which site on was on.

Posted by: roc ingersol at May 31, 2006 11:48 AM (m2CN7)

13 Cincinnati,

No matter how hard you try, you'll never top our steamers. The deviant sex capitol of Ohio - there can be only one.

Posted by: Cleveland at May 31, 2006 11:57 AM (lbmO+)

14 there can be only one.

doesn't that movie take place in Cleveland? Or am I overwriting my memory with all kinds of bad recollection?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at May 31, 2006 12:02 PM (QTv8u)

15 Ms. Russell also recently wrote up a story about a local angler who caught a 30 lb. catfish:
---

Paul Wynette has a whopper of a fish story to tell. Make that a whopper of a fish.

The 76-year-old Ludlow resident loaded up his tackle box May 24 and drove to the Hamilton County Park District's Lake Isabella in Loveland. He purchased a slew of night crawlers. He rowed out into the lake, hoping to snag a catfish.

And, an hour into his sojourn, something tugged his line.

"At first I thought (the hook) was just snagged. But I found out something was on the line," Wynette said. "I found out 20 minutes later what it was."

A 30-pound catfish.

Posted by: mrp at May 31, 2006 12:06 PM (uiEqp)

16 Shocker. Ace is in tight with the cornhole crowd in Cincinnaughty.

Posted by: richj at May 31, 2006 12:08 PM (Qrjpn)

17 Yeah, but wait until you hear what Cleveland enjoys...

Posted by: joeindc44 at May 31, 2006 12:08 PM (K0x/A)

18 This is only marginally related, if that, but the puns are too good to pass up...and this might be the best headline and news blurb of all time:

"Nutt Says Dick In, Johnson Out When Playing Cocks

Arkansas coach Houston Nutt announced that he is taking the redshirt off Casey Dick, who will replace redshirt sophomore Robert Johnson as the Razorbacks’ starter this weekend against the University of South Carolina Gamecocks."

Posted by: thelinyguy at May 31, 2006 12:10 PM (p9Zfn)

19 Also marginally related:

My wife and I watch NASCAR together. I like the Busch, she likes the Johnson.

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at May 31, 2006 12:48 PM (FuYoJ)

20 ok ok ok ok, get it? Cleveland Steamers?!?!!
hello, come on. Ohio is one screwed up place. That's why Diebold disenfranchised 10 million black voters in Ohio!!!!!

So, they poop on each other. haahahaha
Damn you, bush!

Posted by: joeindc44 at May 31, 2006 12:52 PM (K0x/A)

21 Could we have an Ace Allstar Cornhole Team? With shirts and hats!

No trousers, no doubt ......

Posted by: TaterCon at May 31, 2006 01:27 PM (nCeBA)

22 I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've seen Cornhole firsthand... even participated in it. I'll use the excuse that the my family is from Cincinnati, but I was scared playing that game as a kid... I don't I'll ever forget my cornhole days...

Posted by: jwookie at May 31, 2006 01:44 PM (x0sPW)

23 Ace, you do realize your cornhole commentary is just torturing me, dont' you?! Bad, bad aceypoo!!

When I play cornhole, I always score the most.

Posted by: Feisty at May 31, 2006 01:51 PM (YMoL5)

24 Old. My Cincinnati relatives have been bringing this to the family reunions in Kentucky for years. And yes, I did the traditional spittake the first time I saw the title on the box.

Posted by: Kerry at May 31, 2006 03:00 PM (mmwpT)

25 Easier to say than do, however. Just ask anyone who has caught the fast-spreading cornhole craze.

That sounds like someone's talking about a disease.

Posted by: at May 31, 2006 03:09 PM (Ffvoi)

26 You can always tell a yankee when he starts talkin' dirt. It's cornholed nimrod. Cornhole is a game, cornholed is two queers playin' hunt the gerkin.

Posted by: RD at May 31, 2006 03:59 PM (Ll5h5)

27 Standing. Fucking. Ovation. Brilliant, Ace. Absolutely fucking brilliant.

I'm going to read this again, once I change my pants.

Posted by: Charles at May 31, 2006 04:48 PM (5QWBq)

28 I can't believe you left out this direct quote from the article:

they gradually slope upward so the rear is several inches taller than the front. A grapefruit-sized opening is situated close to the back.

Posted by: Nathan at May 31, 2006 06:18 PM (io6Ad)

29 Bwahahahaha!!! As someone who has (sadly) spent the greater part of his life living in the Greater Cincinnati area.... I really liked this one! It was a real hoot.

Posted by: exdem13 at June 01, 2006 03:23 AM (NRrvx)

30 You know, when people here in England ask me about Cincinnati (which isn't as often as you might think), I always seem to forget to mention Cornhole. Funny about that.

Posted by: Alex_fs at June 01, 2006 11:11 AM (JdVVo)

31 I think softshoes would be a better name for the game, until then though....its cornhole

Posted by: Dash at July 03, 2006 05:08 AM (tNznv)

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Posted by: babo at August 09, 2011 03:05 AM (bbFNT)

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