Ace of Spades HQ

October 31, 2008

Pracicing What He Preaches: Jack Murtha Cuts and Runs From Press Conference
— Ace

He's planning and over-the-horizon redeployment to Meltdown with Keith Olbermann.

After a campaign rally, incumbent Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha walked out on an interview with Channel 11 when he was pressed to answer questions regarding controversial comments he previously made to the press.
...
When pressed about his controversial comments, Murtha said, Now you see what youre doing? Youre getting away from the real issues of this campaign. You are getting away from the economy and health care. You are getting away from education.

Education? What the hell can you teach these lynch-lovin' ig'rant hicks?

JONESTOWN ADULT LEARNING ANNEX

Basic "Fidjo" Crafting. Drooling subretards will be taught the basics of constructing a cretinous bastardized musical instrument called the "fidjo," a combination fiddle and banjo.

Step One: Get a fiddle and a banjo.

Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the fiddle to the back of the banjo.

Step Three: Have a hootenany. Use your skills with the fidjo to seduce your underage cousin Becky-June.

Advanced "Shotgunjo" Crafting. Prerequisite: Basic "Fidjo" Crafting.

Six-tooth, eight-finger mutants will be taught the basics of creating a moronic hybrid of shotgun and banjo.

Step One: Get a shotgun and banjo.

Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the shotgun to the back of the banjo.

Step Three: Hold a "shootenany." Threaten to kill your underage cousin Becky-June when she threatens to squeal you knocked her up. Best results can be had if you make sure she doesn't herself possess as shotgunjo before proceeding to this step. Which she probably does, being a moron and all.

Link fixed.

Vid: Below the jump. Thanks to William A., who found it and posted it. I think he tipped me this story in the first place, too.

Posted by: Ace at 03:24 PM | Comments (58)
Post contains 312 words, total size 3 kb.

1 You're looking at me! Stop it! You're mean! Can't wait to see him lose.

Posted by: Sean at October 31, 2008 03:26 PM (vZzYJ)

2 What exactly where you trying to link to here?

And I really hope this cocksucker loses.

Posted by: Ryan Frank at October 31, 2008 03:26 PM (tPQKj)

You know, when you're dealing with such a redneck constituency, it's good to remember they really appreciate your pissy attitude, condescension and unwillingness to stand up like a man and defend your (outrageous) positions and statements.

C'mon LtCol. Russell. You can do it man.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 31, 2008 03:27 PM (eiOZw)

4 Link ain't workin

Posted by: TheFred at October 31, 2008 03:28 PM (0XpI7)

5 Youre getting away from the real issues of this campaign

You made Haditha an issue, John. Now, man up and admit you were wrong.

Posted by: arbuthnot at October 31, 2008 03:28 PM (Tw7Fm)

6 I wouldn't say that was acting like a winner, eh?

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at October 31, 2008 03:30 PM (MMC8r)

7 Murtha will probably try to lure Republicans away from voting places on Tuesday by having Cleavon Little say "Where the white women at?" and running away.

Posted by: Jim62sch at October 31, 2008 03:30 PM (6rQXk)

8 Jack done fucked up, and he knows it...he screwed the pooch by calling his constituents "racists" and "rednecks" and it's got his dumb, fat, EX-Marine ass on the run...

Time to look for a new job, Jackass!

Posted by: Eeyore's Swinging Sack at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (VYEVW)

9 "You racist rednecks just won't shut up, will you? But I know you can't help it, you're just stupid. So shut up and give me some goddamn money."

Posted by: Bryan C at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (fmzOJ)

10 Listen Jack, You cn't get away with the "distraction" bit.

Only the One can pull that off.

Posted by: forest at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (cjFle)

11 I get nowhere with that link.

Posted by: Amused Observer at October 31, 2008 03:33 PM (SxTmM)

12 When pressed about his controversial comments, Murtha said, Now you see what youre doing? Youre getting away from the real issues of this campaign. You are getting away from the economy and health care. You are getting away from education.

God, I wish someone had asked him:

"Senator Murtha, would you consider the racism of your constituents to be an issue best addressed by reeducation, or should it instead be treated as a mental health issue?"

Posted by: Clint at October 31, 2008 03:35 PM (oZ5OG)

13 Cocksucking 101.

Posted by: ricky at October 31, 2008 03:35 PM (iD5Bq)

14 Here's a link to the story.

http://tiny.cc/olcTb

Someone needs to clue the Dems in that Murtha's actions during this campaign season are what erratic behavior by a politician looks like, not John McCain singing "Bomb Iran" as a joke.

Posted by: BrandonInBatonRouge at October 31, 2008 03:36 PM (U7TcP)

15 Check your mail ACE I sent the video as well

Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:38 PM (SpaTx)

'Step Three: Hold a "shootenany." Threaten to kill your underage cousin Becky-June when she threatens to squeal you knocked her up.'

Maybe Murtha can officiate the shotgunjo wedding !!

Posted by: jc at October 31, 2008 03:39 PM (i8c5b)

17 Video link is in my SN

Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:39 PM (SpaTx)

18 I sent the info to the Russell Campaign thought they could use it

Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:46 PM (SpaTx)

19 Not condoning or promoting. Just sayin'. I can see CrazyMurthaOldFuck sitting in his living room with a shotgun in his hands watching the returns on Tuesday, wondering if he should start writing a concession speech or call a hotline. What a prick. God, I swear, if I lived there I would be doing whatever it took to defeat him. I'd carry people on my back to vote if I could see the look on his face the MOMENT he knew it was over for his Haditha-lying ass. By the way, WHEN THE FUCK WILL SOMEONE STAND IN HIS FACE AND MAKE JIM APOLOGIZE?? I nominate Gen. Patraeus if he has the ranking now to do it. Does being head of CENTCOM outrank FatFuck or are they completely different branches? 'Course, I'm just a redneck. One more question. How did a guy like Obama (and his slum-living family afford Hahvahd?

Posted by: Crimson Tide Guy at October 31, 2008 03:48 PM (15dNW)

20 How arrogant can this guy be? "You will not question me about the incredibly stupid things I say." " Only speak of the money I bamboozled out of taxpayers from other states."

Posted by: mare at October 31, 2008 03:49 PM (X1fsj)

21 And this vagina cavity was in the MARINES???

Posted by: Crimson Tide Guy at October 31, 2008 03:50 PM (15dNW)

He's a pussy, what happend to all this "leadership" talk?

Don't get away from teh issues with Dem's, but avoid the issues at all costs when talking to 'pubs, cuz we need to hear about her loner clothes more than about success, or energy competance, or how spreading the wealth is a first step towards socialism.

Fuck that! Is trig really her kid? Is Willow sexualy active, because of a bad family life, and when can we expect willow to be pregnant just like Bristol.

And don't forget about pipers handbag, that might be real or a knockoff.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 03:51 PM (ul7te)

23 Fatass looked like he was incessantly pissed someone has the gaul to try and pull him away from all that pork. Literally and figuratively.

Posted by: Blazer at October 31, 2008 03:53 PM (+FzLa)

24 Am I the only one that thought the TV guy looked like Keith Olberman's sane brother?

Posted by: Tami at October 31, 2008 03:56 PM (P3ErD)

Roy Orbison in his only hollywood movie , a western, had a guitar with a rifle built into it.

As for Murthafrigger, He can kiss my Redneck ass.

Posted by: 1sttofight at October 31, 2008 03:57 PM (WNzrw)

#24 - no, you're not the only one.

I gave Bill Russell $50 last night. Can't think of many candidates it would be better to give it to. He can do this.

Posted by: fiatboomer at October 31, 2008 04:04 PM (QpY7Y)

27 Hey, Obama! I'm redistributin' mah wealth -- to buy more Rev. Wright ads for Pennsyltucky!

Hope and Change!

Posted by: Brewdog at October 31, 2008 04:05 PM (oZ8o0)

28 That reporter did not get the memo. " Only press republicans on their weak points. Ask democrats what they will do once elected."

Posted by: locus ceruleus at October 31, 2008 04:08 PM (e2mBS)

29 Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the fiddle to the back of the banjo.

Crazy glue? CRAZY GLUE? You're Manhattan ass don't know SHIT about music boy. Fuckin' big city elitist.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:11 PM (YNQeP)

30 Murtha looks real scared. This fucking crapweasle thought he was untouchable.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (OqXyp)

that was momentarily scary-right at below the fold, I swear I thought that was Herr olbermann with his mouth open in mid rant in the embed

Imagine him telling us how much he hates us/America on the 5th--I might just go next door to see that (neighbors have cable)

Posted by: Dale Gribble at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (Os9zl)

32
Just like Obama and Biden, answer any question you don't like with a demand that you be allowed to get back to your scripted, focus-grouped talking points.

Posted by: Ronsonic at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (ywSvi)

33 Herr olbermann

That made me sad. Bitch.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:17 PM (YNQeP)

OT sorry,

Did anyone see the Al Franken video where he talks about assassinating the President "through the kitchen in the basement"? Look, Donks, if the Kennedys actually have mob connections, wouldn't this be a great time to you know, use them?

Holy shit, what a piece of shit Franken is.

Posted by: sherlock at October 31, 2008 04:20 PM (ojW85)

35 Holy shit, what a piece of shit Franken is.

No shit, Sherlock.

^{I'm sorry. That was irresistable.}

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:25 PM (YNQeP)

36 Now, you see what you're doing? You're getting away from the real issue that my constituents are actually racist rednecks by asking me about my remarks that they are so. I'm only going to talk about the issue of my constituents being racists and not about me calling them racists.

Posted by: Editor at October 31, 2008 04:26 PM (p4YSL)

37 Everything on my screen is in bold. Either I pissed Ace off and he's screaming at me, or he fucked up another tag. Over/Under?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:27 PM (YNQeP)

38 "See, we are not talking about the issues here. Like how my opponent is a carpetbagging son of a bitch. Or how my constituents are racist rednecks. Let's stay on point here. Thank you."

Posted by: Dave S at October 31, 2008 04:37 PM (K4++v)

39 How did a guy like Obama (and his slum-living family) afford Hahvahd?

Student loans? Michelle's been bitching for the last year about having to repay them.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (DLN6/)

40 racist

Posted by: Michelle's American White Racist at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (NLtVk)

41 Holy shit, what a piece of shit Franken is.

No shit, Sherlock.

^{I'm sorry. That was irresistable.}
I played golf a couple of years ago with two guys I met on the course. One of 'em introduced himself as "Sherlock." About the 13th hole, I asked the other guy "So, whats his nickname? No Shit? He looked at me and says"No, I don't think he has a nickname." I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Posted by: Hammer at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (8nB5X)

42 Someone needs to get up in Jack's grille and ask him about ABSCAM.

"Congressman Murtha, is it true that like Bill Ayres, you're as 'guilty as hell and free as a bird?'"

Posted by: DelD at October 31, 2008 04:41 PM (Yw/4J)

43 grammy and grampy were well off. whe he say's "single mother", he means "mother so entitled she didn't have to bother with a fucking kid."

Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 04:43 PM (ul7te)

44 I like watching his jowls quiver

Posted by: toby928 at October 31, 2008 04:52 PM (PD1tk)

45 Looks like grampa needs a nap.

Posted by: Warden at October 31, 2008 04:53 PM (km1mp)

46 I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Wow. With people like that, they're called "corncobs" where I'm from. And they don't smell very good.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 05:00 PM (YNQeP)

47 As if it was Murtha's choice what the "real issues" are.

Posted by: Arthur at October 31, 2008 05:26 PM (2+qaE)

And this vagina cavity yeast infection was in the MARINES???

There. fixed it for you.

Posted by: fulldroolcup at October 31, 2008 05:28 PM (aLDzD)

49 I dipped my balls in my donation to Bill Russell.

Fuck you very much Okinawa Jack, you despicable sucker of barbed cock.

How's it feel to know you not only fucked yourself, but you also almost single-handedly cost The One Pennsylvania? I don't think the EV count will be that close (I figure the Mav gets about 296), but I'm going to laugh my ass right off if you cost TelePrompter Jesus Guy the election after him throwing $700 million and two years of his life into it because you were just being your ass-bag self.

Delish!

Posted by: ConcernedCitizen at October 31, 2008 08:07 PM (hmDr/)

50 Will someone take this guys EGO away from him? Everytime he opens his pie-hole out comes out this condescending,ego manic and self-righteous crap. I guess it is a teaching moment for the little "redneck" folks of Pennsylvania . Please boooot him outta Congress. Just think how much more room there will be with Murtha and his ego gone.

Posted by: BHRIO at October 31, 2008 08:16 PM (VVcm4)

51 "JONESTOWN ADULT LEARNING ANNEX"

Actually, it's Johnstown (yeah, yeah, I got the reference).

Posted by: rightwingprof at October 31, 2008 11:41 PM (52wuV)

52 seduce your underage cousin Becky-June ~~Ummm~~ Errr, how repugnant. Tho it does explain you Rethuglicans.

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