Ever forgive me for the mustard incident and allow me to post here? I swear to God I didn't know the goat would mount you... that hard. And I promise I won't do lezzie pr0n; doesn't float my boat, though I can make no promises about actual boat pr0n (you allow others to have man-on-car postings!). Fynq.

In addition, all your boxes must bear the likeness of the Hindu goddess Kali, wearing jeans and a Michael Vick jersey.  Copies of your grandmother's last Pap smear must be submitted--in triplicate--to the building supervisor, the fire department, and the NYC public library that is FURTHEST from where you plan to live.

You must arrive in a day-glo purple moving van with five tires, one of which must be flat.  Your movers must be union members, and must have been on strike at any point within the last twelve months.

13 and 14 - Don't forget an extra couple of days to track down the updated hangout locations of the thai trannies and hobos.

I say 2 weeks. minimum.

BTW Ace, I think they cut down the tree you could climb that gave easy access to the Llama cage at the NYC Zoo.

You'll have to find a new way in.

Thems either new rules or they apply to stuffy high rises on the upper east side where hobos are too thin on the ground in any case.  I did ten years hard time in NYC, 3 different boroughs, probably six or seven moves and never dealt with any of that.

Of course, that was the 80s when New York was still New York and Giulian and the Disney company hadn't turned it into a family friendly theme park.  Ed Koch, now that was a mayor!

Ace for moving clothing, I recommend black plastic trashbags over boxes. Seriously.  You can get a lot more clothes into one, and they'll stay clean(sic) and dry no matter what the weather. Plus they're easier to pack into a trunk/backseat/ spare space in the truck. T-shirts, socks, jeans, and the like gain nothing from being spared a little wrinkling.

Just sayin'

Now on a more serious note,

 I also recommend a shopping cart to carry the bags and to get around those Sunday Move-In laws. Why, if you don't shave or wash for a couple of days, everyone will think you're just part of the NY neighborhood that you're moving into (unless being the God of the AOSHQ lifestye pays a lot better than I think).

I sure hope you aren't planning on using cardboard boxes to move your stuff Ace. Cardboard kills trees! New Yorkers kill people who kill trees! (unless it's used to print the NYT or other leftist crap).

On the plus side, empty cardboard boxes make wonderful cat toys >^,,^<

Seriously, I hate moving! I still have un-unpacked boxes from 10 years ago. Never movin again! Nope, stayin put, barring a lottery win.

How hard can it be to move when all you own is a computer, a duffel bag filled with ears, and a footlocker with a mummified body inside.

Just make sure you seal the crawlspace when you leave town.

dammit.

A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body, but a real friend will bring his own shovel.

Hobos in New York? Please. I was just back there for a week and I saw like THREE homeless people the whole time.

If you want REAL hobo action, you need to come out here to San Francissco. Hobos are like the civic pets. We support them and everything.

Yeah, people feed them here in SF too, just like pigeons.

Well, if you want to do it right, you kill the hobos, cut them into small pieces and feed them to pigeons.

Ace,

If you haven't touched it in six months, throw it away.  Donate it.  Get rid of it.  You don't need it; don't take it with you.  Six years on and off in the moving business taught me this.

Well, that and to prepack your sex toys and naked pictures of your preteen daughter (!!!!!) prior to the movers getting there.

I enjoy Greek mythology as much as anyone, including the Rockefellers. But unlike them, I would not gloat as a greek god over the mass population serving in menial labor at my will or pleasure. And unlike the Rockefellers, I would not paste my god over the sacred symbol of Christians.

The Rockefeller Christmas Tree televised ceremony took me aback with the flying golden Prometheus taking center stage during the homage supposedly being paid to the Christ Child.

Getting to call it a "Christmas" rather than "Holiday" tree was as far as the Rockefellers would take the visual?

Hey, when you get around to seeing the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, tell us, where is the nativity scene? If the public accepts Prometheus front and center display, then grant Jesus at least a place beneath or beside the tree.

Then again, believers know that Jesus saves us all, including Prometheus. So perhaps with the Jewish angels, the Greek gods joined in the heavenly chorus singing, "Glory to God in the Highest, and peace on earth, good will to all people!"

So how 'bout that juxtaposition displacing Hebrew angels with Greek gods? Just noticed it, thought twice, and took the time here to mention it.

Such is life--the assimilating synthesis goes on. I had a German professor who emphatically began with DIFFERENTIATION when I would begin with SIMILARITIES in studying a comparison. It takes both. But synthesizing is another issue all together. The essence of an entity is lost when it amalgamates with others; so, the result had better be worth the loss. After all, mutual respect does not require losing one's self.

I do like Greek mythology as much as anyone else--great story telling of moral lessons and socio-political intrigue.

The hardest part about moving to New York?

Having to tell your parents that you're gay.

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