Ok, I know nobody likes to strain those synapses and make the neurons move around any more than they need to on a Friday night. If we wanted that to happen we’d all be over at Gabe’s blog discussing maritime treaties from 1647 to 1873 and the impact they have on our lives today. But no, the neurons have about had it for the week. Still, I ask you to fire those bad boys up one last time today and see if you can puzzle through the following articles (If it helps, try holding that beer can as if it were a snifter of brandy. Or get really fancy and pour it in a plastic cup. Uncouth bastards). It’s a game you see. Your task is to arrange these three articles in the proper order. Let’s begin:

Article ?: Deputies Arrest More Than 50 Suspected Illegal Immigrants.

“Sheriff's deputies arrested 50 illegal immigrants Tuesday after making two traffic stops on Interstate 17 north of Phoenix and raiding two drophouses in the Valley, according to a press release from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office”

“All 52 people arrested were booked by sheriff's deputies on state felony immigration charges or turned over to federal immigration authorities, the release said.”

Article ?: Illegal-Immigrant Population in Arizona Falls by a Third, Study Says.

”The number of illegal immigrants living in Arizona has plunged by one-third in the past two years amid a dismal job market and stiffer enforcement of immigration laws, according to researchers who released a new report.Arizona saw the largest decline of any state, according to researchers at the Center for Immigration Studies, whose report shows that the nation's undocumented population fell nearly 14 percent from the summer of 2007 to the first quarter of this year, following years of steady growth. The report comes as the Obama administration is gearing up to push for major immigration reforms, including a possible legalization program for millions of illegal immigrants in the U.S. The loss of illegal immigrants has had ramifications for the Arizona economy, with some saying the exodus means less of a drain on taxpayer services and others saying the loss has hurt businesses and tax revenue.”

“After reaching a high of 530,000 in 2007, Arizona's undocumented population now numbers about 350,000, a drop of about 180,000 people, Camarota said. The exodus is good news for Arizona taxpayers, Camarota said, because illegal immigrants tend to work in low-wage jobs and therefore contribute less in taxes than the public services they use.

Note: There are counter-arguments in the article in case Dum-Dum shows up and needs to borrow any. – ed.

Article ?: Toughest Sheriff in U.S. Pushes Back Against Feds.

”PHOENIX - The Homeland Security Department wants Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Ariz., to stop arresting illegal immigrants who haven't committed crimes besides crossing the U.S.-Mexico. The thing is, Arpaio doesn't much care. He says he's not going to bend to the federal government. The Homeland Security Department has reworked the federal program that has allowed Arpaio's deputies to make federal immigration arrests since February 2007. It's not yet known whether Arpaio will sign the new deal. If he doesn't, his ability to crack down on illegal immigration will be limited.Eleven agencies in the country have signed the new so-called 287(g) agreement. Sixty-six operating under the old program -- including Arpaio's -- were given 90 days starting July 10 to decide
whether they want to sign it.”

Note: First two articles above are from the Ariz. Republic and the last is from AP via KSAZ (FOX) in Phoenix.

So what are you waiting for? Get started already. Also, from now on ONT policy is that all commenters wear a coat and tie while visiting the thread. Where and how you choose to wear them is entirely up to you, but we’re trying to class up the joint.

Additional material will arrive shortly. I suppose. Maybe.

Update: Oh look…additional material has now arrived below the fold.

If you get bored with Sherrif Joe puzzles and you forgot how to tie a Windsor knot, why not discuss this list of Chick Flicks That Guys Can Enjoy. The premise, according to the author of the article:

” It's not easy being a man right now. The action movies have come and gone, and there are not one, but two, chick flicks in theaters. One, "(500) Days of Summer," is better than the other, "The Ugly Truth," but there is a good chance that your significant other will want to see both. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the queen of chick flicks - writer-director Nora Ephron - has a movie opening in a couple of weeks ("Julie & Julia"). But I want to suggest to you guys that chick flicks don't have to be as painful as you think. They're not all "Steel Magnolias" and "The English Patient." Here are some examples of chick flicks that were enjoyable for men who are in touch with their feminine side without losing touch with their beer-can-crushing-against-their-forehead masculine side.”

Why isn’t Aliens on this list? It’s a tender story about a mother who lost her only child after being frozen for 57 years in hypersleep only to rediscover her maternal instincts after meeting and bonding with an orphan who’d lost her own family, then struggling to maintain this bond using pulse rifles, grenades, a flamethrower and finally a loader. Very powerful and moving story. The final scene with the airlock was a powerful metaphor about ridding ourselves of past (and current) demons, putting them behind us to be burned to a crisp upon re-entering the atmosphere. I know I wept.

Try not to shut down Netflix or Amazon tonight rushing to order everything from the list. And by the way, where’s the reciprocal list of bad-ass guy flicks that chicks should watch (And while I can appreciate everyone’s first choice: The Vivid Video series “Where the Boys Aren’t,” you might try mixing things up a little bit. Just a suggestion. Make every other movie something with ‘splodey things in it.)

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