Ace of Spades HQ

March 31, 2005

On a Lighter Note...
— Ace

Their headline, not mine:

Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog

Police said they were searching for a gunman who ran up to a woman while she was walking her dog Monday night and grabbed the bag she was holding. It contained poop.
When the gunman discovered what was in it, he threw it down in disgust, pointed his gun at the 32-year-old woman and demanded money....
He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at the dog, named Misty, and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire.

Bear in mind that the bag containing the poop was most likely not a Kate Spade leather daypouch. More likely a paper or plastic bag.

And yet this gunman was all hot for that paper or plastic bag. Think of the bountiful riches it might have contained... tampons, Tropical Fruit Tums EX, maybe a hot-dog or pretzel.

Dave from Garfield Ridge quoted Spaceballs the other day: "Evil will always triumph, because good... is dumb."

Fortunately, in most cases, that's actually 100% backwards.

I have to give Yahoo props for using the word "Poop" in a headline.

Somewhere in New York, Robert Smigel, the guy who does Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, just smiled and said, "Thank you, God. Now I can milk this stale bit for at least one more month."

Thanks to GregS.

Posted by: Ace at 07:04 AM | Comments (5)
Post contains 230 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I dunno Ace...

Are we sure this "woman" isn't really Kevin Spacey, and that this alleged "poop" wasn't really a watch?

People seem to get in all kinds of trouble walking their dogs...I find it suspicious.

Posted by: Jack M. at March 31, 2005 07:20 AM (1W1ap)

2 Madelein L'Engle (author of A Wrinkle in Time) used to walk her dog at night in New York city, and carried an old handbag to put the poop-bags into until she reached a garbage can. Her daughter was rather anxious about it, what with robbers and purse-snatchers, but she just smiled.

After all, what a surprise for them.

I'm glad the dog didn't get hurt, but someone needs to tell the idiot that you have to take the safety off before you pull the trigger.

Posted by: Dianna at March 31, 2005 07:33 AM (qrFCz)

3 would this make him a turd-burgler?

Posted by: hobgoblin at March 31, 2005 08:02 AM (2da3S)

4 Criminals in general are really quite dumd, that is why they are criminals. The bozos on Americas Dumbest Criminals are actually quite typical of them, though a bit more unlucky perhaps

Posted by: 72VIRGINS at March 31, 2005 09:48 AM (dhRpo)

5 This highly acclaimed comic has now been adapted into a feature-length animated film, co-directed by the artist and Vincent Paronnaud. Burn Notice Seasons 1-4 DVD The film version of Persepolis won a Grand Jury prize at Cannes this year, as well as receiving honors from the Sao Paulo, Vancouver, and Cinemanila Film Festivals and the British Film Institute.

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http://www.idealdvdmall.com.au/

Posted by: Fringe Season 4 DVD at May 23, 2012 01:37 AM (rBLlr)

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