January 31, 2006
— Ace She wants to be Leia. I had her figured for Jabba.
She's black. While she wants someone to play Chewie, she doesn't mention Lando. What gives?
Thanks to compos mentis, who once pooped his pants as an adult.
Posted by: Ace at
10:04 AM
| Comments (54)
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.
Her Craigslist Post:
Hello boys,
I'm a 20 year old sociology major at UC Berkeley. I've heard so much about the Princess Leia fantasy, that I kind of want to see a man lust over and just devour me to the extreme. I have long light brown hair and can do the buns. Can get the outfit...just need the man. I'm embarrassed about bringing this up with boys that I am normally in contact with. That's why I want to be discrete. HOWEVER...I ONLY WANT SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN 24 and you must be WHITE!!! Please email me with a picture and I will respond. Only want this to be a one time deal not ongoing sex. If you're in a relationship, don't worry, s/he won't find out but if you want him or her to watch, that's fine by me. Don't care if you're bi, straight, or gay. I live in the dorms so I can't host.
My Response:
I'll do it if I can be Chewbaca instead of Hans. Mad
mad sex grunts is what you will get. And a mouth
full of Wookie pubes. Better yet, Ill be Yoda, and you
can squat on me.
*She wrote back wants a threesome...
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 10:12 AM (spTw1)
Posted by: Iblis at January 31, 2006 10:16 AM (9221z)
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 10:17 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: adolfo velasquez at January 31, 2006 10:24 AM (jQiTm)
Posted by: CraigC at January 31, 2006 10:30 AM (ASX9p)
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 10:33 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: right at January 31, 2006 10:33 AM (QNf4S)
Posted by: The Warden at January 31, 2006 10:38 AM (EV5YU)
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at January 31, 2006 10:38 AM (y1hCN)
"I never saw ultra-giant boobies and poochy leg fat."
"I never saw ultra-giant boobies and poochy leg fat."
Posted by: right at January 31, 2006 10:39 AM (QNf4S)
Posted by: at January 31, 2006 10:41 AM (nhH3s)
Posted by: Sue Dohnim at January 31, 2006 10:43 AM (rE+jU)
Posted by: Tom M at January 31, 2006 10:47 AM (d6bNm)
1) I'm unattractive in all ways, so no light is flattering to me.
2) Despite the jackass source, the story is on topic and mildly amusing.
3) I wanted to put something witty here, but I'm too tired too think. Instead I give you the 2004 Asian Mustache Olympics.
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 10:48 AM (spTw1)
What next, a Margaret Cho themed King of the Hill orgy?
Posted by: Sith Master Rusty Shackleford at January 31, 2006 10:49 AM (JQjhA)
Tom, Tucker Max is some loser who can't find a steady girlfriend, so he makes a living off of promoting the most unflattering male stereotypes you can think of and writing about them. No person who seriously rejects the idea that most males are insecure, immature, vain jackasses (like the study Ace linked below) should put up with him, yet somehow he continues to sell books. I LOVE men -- sure, they have flaws, don't we all? -- and it's offensive to see them cast in such a negative light due to one really bad apple.
And Steve, fair 'nuf, it's just been a while since I saw anything about Max and I'd assumed his (pseudo) novelty had worn off, so my reaction was from the gut.
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 11:06 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: CraigC at January 31, 2006 11:11 AM (ASX9p)
Posted by: Tom M at January 31, 2006 11:15 AM (d6bNm)
I've never read any of his books, so I can't comment on them. As a matter of fact, I had never heard his name until I stumbled across the website a couple of weeks ago. His stories about women are repetitive and tedious. I appreciate his stories of drunken excess, because I tend to
1) Say things just because they're funny - damn the consequences.
2) Drink to excess.
3) Get involved in weird situations.
4) Combine #'s1-3.
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 11:20 AM (spTw1)
Posted by: Pixelflash at January 31, 2006 11:32 AM (O+1/6)
Speaking of layas instead of layers, don't miss John Kerry's new bilingual outreach.
Posted by: machs at January 31, 2006 11:45 AM (MP/aT)
Translation: Luke, I see a small rear entrance to that Death Star, but you will need all-aspect Photon Astroglide Torpedoes; all you can carry!
Posted by: R2D2 at January 31, 2006 12:00 PM (BJYNn)
Pretty much. It's like this: some guys act like jerks because it's an act. Sometimes they act like jerks because they're jerks. If it's the former, uh, it hardly takes talent to act like a jerk, and if it's the latter, then the guy's a jerk and you don't want to be around him anyway.
And Steve, let me tell you a story about how stupid this Max person is...
They had some dating show on a cable channel, I guess about 10 years ago, and Max's "dating application" was featured, probably as a promo for his book. They followed him around for a while with a camera, and one night he was at a bar and had the opportunity to either: a) MAYBE score with a decent looking chick, or B) DEFINITELY score with 2 women at the same time, but they weren't as good-looking (but they weren't repulsive, just average). Max went for Option A (proving himself to be an idiot in most men's eyes), the chick ended up leaving without him, and 10 minutes later Max was puking his guts in the bar's alley and passing out alone later.
Draw your own conclusions from that episode.
Me, I got the impression that this guy's long graduated from college and still acts like a frat boy. That doesn't exactly warm my loins.
And I'm with you on your list as I do all of those things, too. I just don't recall ever hearing Max say something funny, consequences or not.
Mox nix either way.
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 12:04 PM (qF8q3)
In my case, I've taken some natural ability and refined it into something special.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 31, 2006 12:11 PM (pzen5)
Let me guess, you were one of the two girls;-)
You think he's an asshole who writes sophomoric, unfunny stories. I think he's an asshole that writes sophomoric stories that are occasionally funny. Both of us would agree that he's not a subject worthy of an extended conversation. So lets stop.
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 12:19 PM (spTw1)
Posted by: Tucker Max at January 31, 2006 12:34 PM (sCtph)
Posted by: B Moe at January 31, 2006 12:41 PM (oo8c+)
Posted by: BackThatAzzUp at January 31, 2006 12:45 PM (O+1/6)
Posted by: Mike Superior at January 31, 2006 12:53 PM (vsigV)
Posted by: Tom M at January 31, 2006 12:54 PM (d6bNm)
Posted by: Mike in Wyoming at January 31, 2006 12:55 PM (aZSuS)
I'd never be described by anyone as average-looking, even by myself.
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 01:07 PM (qF8q3)
Posted by: Tom at January 31, 2006 01:10 PM (89h2e)
Someone in comments mentions the Mother of all Cameltoes as being worse and what do I do? I click the link.
SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THE INTERNET.
Posted by: Sortelli at January 31, 2006 01:15 PM (JV5Qt)
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 01:36 PM (spTw1)
Posted by: A. Weasel at January 31, 2006 01:42 PM (nv7bH)
Posted by: Iblis at January 31, 2006 01:44 PM (9221z)
Posted by: CraigC at January 31, 2006 01:46 PM (ASX9p)
Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at January 31, 2006 01:49 PM (FmdLR)
was it because of those photographs?
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 31, 2006 01:52 PM (BSzSC)
Amazing that she thinks she's got time for an orgy, what with having to clean out the litter boxes for 23 odd cats or so.
Posted by: Otho Laurence at January 31, 2006 02:01 PM (R9O/9)
Then just to prove I'm every bit the Y-Chromosome poisoned idjit that most women think I am, I clicked on the cameltoe link too. My retinas still burn and seethe with the horribleness of the Yog-Sothoth Beast Of A Thousand Flabby Folds.
Like a rat hitting the damned feeder bar.
Posted by: Monty at January 31, 2006 02:39 PM (djE5R)
Click this link.
Damn you Steve. Damn you to hell.
"Someone?" Hey, thanks, Sortelli.
Well Craig, I didn't want to name any names, but it was YOU WHO POSTED THAT CAMELTOE LINK!!!! YOOOOOOOU!!!!
Posted by: Sortelli at January 31, 2006 02:44 PM (JV5Qt)
I was working as an Ob resident in a large county hospital emergency room when one of the 4th year med students came staggering out of an exam room. I ran over to him only to find him doubled up with laughter. He had spent about 15 minutes swimming upstream, speculum in hand, through the thigh fat of a morbidly obese patient in search of her vagina. When he apologized for the delay, the patient said kindly,"That's ok, baby, sometimes my husband thinks he's lovin me but he ain't."
Posted by: steve_in_hb at January 31, 2006 02:44 PM (spTw1)
Posted by: Monty at January 31, 2006 02:48 PM (djE5R)
Posted by: Monty at January 31, 2006 04:01 PM (djE5R)
Posted by: a-a at January 31, 2006 06:58 PM (OEbrS)
Posted by: right at January 31, 2006 07:06 PM (ZBWoY)
Lady Thatcher rocks!
Posted by: Muslihoon at January 31, 2006 07:29 PM (Q8UK2)
(You will click the link, pathetic earthling! If I had to suffer, you will as well...)
Posted by: Cybrludite at January 31, 2006 07:38 PM (XFoEH)
Posted by: spurwing plover at February 01, 2006 04:52 AM (EPfmS)
Posted by: Dave Munger at February 01, 2006 01:51 PM (Rfyen)
Posted by: spurwing plover at February 01, 2006 04:47 PM (wksIu)
Posted by: Indonesia Furniture Handicraft Wholesale Marketplace at August 24, 2010 08:20 PM (zf61z)
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