Ace of Spades HQ

September 24, 2008

National Enquirer Finds Impeccable Source to Prove Palin Affair
— Ace

You'll like this one. The source is a "family member." Yeah.

Giggle. (Link to Dan Riehl, not the NE.)

Here's my favorite line:

Ive known about Brad having had an affair for a long time, but it wasnt until just recently that I learned his affair was with Sarah Palin, Burdett told The NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

Just recently? Like when the National Enquirer floated this rumor three weeks ago, or more recently than that, like when they stuffed a check into your broke-ass convict mitt?

Posted by: Ace at 08:33 PM | Comments (33)
Post contains 102 words, total size 1 kb.

1 The "family member" sounds like a real Winner.

Posted by: mesablue at September 24, 2008 08:40 PM (5yNaE)

Mesa- nice job.

Dufus.

Posted by: rich at September 24, 2008 08:52 PM (rX6yO)

I really think all of this is for Hillary. First, knock out Edwards for betraying her, and eliminate him as a running-mate for Obama, decreasing Obama's chances of winning.

Next, take some of the shine off Palin--not enough to keep McCain from winning, but to keep Hillary arguably (to some people, at least) looking relatively good, in case of a future matchup. In other words, define Palin down, and hope most of it will stick.

Finally, I predict, in a week or two, they are going to out Obama. And the Enquirer can say they've been investigating everyone, and it wasn't a targeted hit job for Hillary.

Posted by: texette at September 24, 2008 08:55 PM (h5E9R)

4 Is there anyone in the state of Alaska with a more tenuous connection to Sarah Palin than that?

Posted by: bgates at September 24, 2008 08:55 PM (CFjXn)

5 I think I'm gonna need a chart and a telescope to see the connection Burdett has with the Palin family.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 24, 2008 09:02 PM (3Odb8)

6 With 5 kids, a husband, moose hunting, and being the Governor, when exactly did she have time for an affair?

mesablue#1, lol

Posted by: liontooth at September 24, 2008 09:07 PM (n3pxb)

7 Kevin Bacon is more closely related to Sarah than this clown.

Posted by: ricky at September 24, 2008 09:12 PM (muUqs)

8 I think that Mr. Burdett has the proof in the form of a document typed on an IBM Selectric typewriter. No wait, that is Bill Burkett who's shopping that story.

Posted by: steve poling at September 24, 2008 09:13 PM (UWHTf)

9 Well, I'm convinced. Let's oust her!

Idiots.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 24, 2008 09:18 PM (uILUP)

10 texette, by out Obama, what do you mean?

I don't really think he's gay, given his religious upbringing (I have no fucking clue, but that's obvious).

From my point of view, enough dirt has been found on Obama to bury 100 candidates, yet a lot of people still love the guy.

Posted by: Shill at September 24, 2008 09:35 PM (8jYMc)

11 I don't really think he's gay, given his religious upbringing

Huh? He was raised by an atheist. Even if you want to argue the time in Indonesia counts as "raised Muslim", contra that Iranian nutjob there are gay Muslims.

Posted by: bgates at September 24, 2008 09:39 PM (CFjXn)

12 So the takeaway lesson here is: if you have an affair with the hot wife of your business partner, for godsake don't tell your sister's loser of husband.

Posted by: Maetenloch at September 24, 2008 09:39 PM (hn7Rm)

13 This is really pathetic. I mean, Sarah would have been more likely to have an affair with ME! What was I saying?

Posted by: Brian72 at September 24, 2008 09:44 PM (h6lGQ)

Does the Enquirer want the noise brought on them? Those lesbian mules need to get slapped with a knob rocket.

Posted by: The Oort Cloud at September 24, 2008 09:48 PM (nOQXA)

15 The Enquirer should really check out what Sarah has been up to in NYC. That new Pakistani President really took a shine to her, and he's a widower too!

Enquiring minds want to know!

Posted by: Brian72 at September 24, 2008 09:48 PM (h6lGQ)

16 Burdett is a former brother-in-law of Hansons estranged wife Carolyn's brother IN other words: Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. Lone Starr: What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

Posted by: cheshirecat at September 24, 2008 10:07 PM (snPn7)

17 Well, Your Honor, we have lots of hearsay and conjecture, which are *kinds* of evidence.

Posted by: Lionel Hutz at September 24, 2008 10:21 PM (Tz2XN)

18 I'm confused by all this. I need Regis Toomey to pop in and recap the plot.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at September 24, 2008 10:27 PM (yJXTo)

19 My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Posted by: Sean M. at September 24, 2008 10:29 PM (e6v7s)

20 Well, I believe it, - because an ex-con's integrity is directly proportional to the number of cigarettes and toilet paper rolls at his disposal.

Posted by: Fritz at September 24, 2008 10:34 PM (UU4Hu)

21 Hey, if you can't trust the ex-con brother of the sister of the wife of the brother of the estranged wife of the alleged paramour, as reliably reported in the National Enquirer, who the hell CAN you trust? What's wrong with you morons?

Posted by: Stoop Davy Dave at September 25, 2008 01:34 AM (U9lWC)

22 10/ Shill "I don't really think he's gay, given his religious upbringing"

Now there's a non-sequitur for the ages. By that logic, King James was straight.

Posted by: Stoop Davy Dave at September 25, 2008 01:41 AM (U9lWC)

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

A perfect dscription of the situation.

Posted by: Steve L. at September 25, 2008 02:24 AM (o0YD+)

24 The funniest part of the story is that even the NE admits the alleged affair was "unconsummated." Did you get that, "unconsummated." Talk about a non-story... Sarah really is as pure as the driven snow.

Posted by: nord at September 25, 2008 03:44 AM (azL8r)

25 The Enquirer proved with Edwards story that it doesn't fuck around.

Posted by: icus at September 25, 2008 03:49 AM (3YtGS)

icus,

Watch me laugh hysterically.

Posted by: texette at September 25, 2008 03:58 AM (ovpoC)

27 At least the MSM's distaste for the NE seems to be holding in favor of a Republican for a change.

Posted by: Penfold at September 25, 2008 04:09 AM (lF2Kk)

#8 Steve:

I was thinking the same thing.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at September 25, 2008 04:38 AM (O9Cc8)

29 Sarah Palin fell in love with Todd when she was a young woman and has remained in love with him ever since. She really is a good girl . The problem is the media and Hollywood can't get their fucking minds around the concepts of love and fidelity . To them it's as if the Palin's are from another fucking planet.

Also , cocksuckers the lot of them.

Posted by: aubrey at September 25, 2008 04:54 AM (q/Z0+)

30 So, this Brad Hanson is Trig's real father? Oh wait, Trig is not Sarah's baby, right? I'm so confused. I need some genius like Andrew Sullivan to commit journalistic crimes and get to the bottom of this stat. It's so much more important than bailouts and hurricane recovery.

Posted by: kbiel at September 25, 2008 05:14 AM (LiRdp)

31 I'm a pretty big fellow and I would not sleep with Todd Palin's wife. Not on a bet.

Posted by: spongeworthy at September 25, 2008 06:54 AM (a00go)

32 Does the guy in question have snowMACHINE tracks across his face and moose antlers shoved up his butt? No? Then he didn't sleep with Sarah Palin.

Posted by: Ann at September 25, 2008 10:26 AM (c3H+i)

33 Then he didn't sleep with Sarah Palin.

Posted by: seslisohbet at August 27, 2010 04:02 PM (O4J6H)

Hide Comments | Add Comment