Ace of Spades HQ

June 30, 2007

National Dwarf Games Open With Dwarven Biathalon (Ski Cross-Country, Then Bash An Orc's Head In With A Warhammer)
— Ace

Okay, no, not those sorts of dwarves. But it's really called the National Dwarf Games.

Here are some Young Little People in a race:

Kinda nice.

Before you giggle, little people conferences are notorious for drunken debauchery and rampant hooking-up.

And you jerkoffs are sitting at home reading this stupid blog.

Thanks to genghis.

Posted by: Ace at 04:01 PM | Comments (44)
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

1 and yet, in stature, they would stand tall in our US Senate.

Posted by: Frank G at June 30, 2007 04:07 PM (Ydps9)

2
Before you giggle, little people conferences are notorious for drunken debauchery and rampant hooking-up.

In my experience, most conferences are notorious for this. The more unusual the traits of the typical attendee, the greater the debauchery.

Exception? Gaming cons heavy on RPGA. Drunkenness reigns, but there's little-to-no debauchery (thank God).

Posted by: leoncaruthers at June 30, 2007 04:08 PM (wSoj/)

3 >>>In my experience, most conferences are notorious for this.

Not conservative conferences either, alas. I keep going back expecting that made-up Steven Glass article about CPAC to come true, but alas, no dice.

Posted by: ace at June 30, 2007 04:10 PM (1UCRY)

4
Before you giggle, little people conferences are notorious for drunken debauchery and rampant hooking-up.

Well, duh. That's because they can "go down" on a woman while standing up.

It's all about efficiency.

Posted by: Xoxotl at June 30, 2007 04:10 PM (F/ysA)

5 I wonder how long that 100 yd. "dash" took?

Posted by: harrison at June 30, 2007 04:20 PM (Gv4O0)

Well, I'm temped to tell you about a fantasy I have had since meeting a few of the female "little people".

But I won't.

Papa Ray

Posted by: Papa Ray at June 30, 2007 04:46 PM (KYECy)

7 I live in Vegas, and when the CES show is in town, the casinos hate the nerds cause they never gamble, but the strip clubs...packed wall to wall.

Posted by: bmac at June 30, 2007 04:52 PM (Nr4dg)

8 "In my experience, most conferences are notorious for this. The more unusual the traits of the typical attendee, the greater the debauchery."

So, when's Acecon Boston going to happen? I want to read reports.

Posted by: someone at June 30, 2007 05:15 PM (TXnhk)

9 Dude in the middle wants it the most.

Posted by: lauraw at June 30, 2007 05:23 PM (DbybK)

10 sweet. you can rest your beer on their heads while they buff yer knob.

Posted by: uncouth yob at June 30, 2007 05:27 PM (aNH3D)

11 One of my favorite episodes of Vegas involved little people at a convention.

Those kids are cute.

Posted by: Stormy70 at June 30, 2007 05:32 PM (Y+o71)

12 I once midget-bowled a perfect game........

Posted by: Barnabas at June 30, 2007 05:39 PM (xxMo4)

I'm just saying, she's a good sport about it and all, but there is a parent of a little person who frequents, and I count her as something of a friend.

Like I said, she's not the touchy type, but I was just throwing it out there.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at June 30, 2007 05:46 PM (QTv8u)

14 I agree with WickedPinto. It wouldn't hurt to have a rare display of couth on this thread.

Posted by: geoff at June 30, 2007 05:48 PM (zxGzv)

That's not really my point geoff, it's more along the lines of "If I get defensive, thats why."

I mean really if she had a thin skin she wouldn't be one of the spaders, AOSers, whats a good moniker for us morons? OH! she wouldn't be a Moron.

I was just tossing it out there, so that you know, it was there before anything happened. I haven't seen anything actually offensive yet, it's all common vernacular so far.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at June 30, 2007 05:50 PM (QTv8u)

I agree with WickedPinto. It wouldn't hurt to have a rare display of couth on this thread.

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!!!!

What Universe are we in?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at June 30, 2007 05:51 PM (QTv8u)

17 Little people tend to have the biggest hearts, as well as a great sense of humor.

Posted by: Barnabas at June 30, 2007 06:01 PM (xxMo4)

Generally, my point of sending it to Ace was to show how cute dwarves were, as opposed to gnomes, which are always fucking up my planting beds and getting into the undersoil drainage. I usually just wing the dwarves.

Gnomes get the full cartridge.

Posted by: genghis at June 30, 2007 06:05 PM (HwY1l)

Barnabas,

Do you have empirical proof of that statement?

Posted by: genghis at June 30, 2007 06:10 PM (HwY1l)

20 "Barnabas,

Do you have empirical proof of that statement?"

No -- he eats all the hearts after he rips them out...

Posted by: someone at June 30, 2007 06:26 PM (TXnhk)

21 Do you have empirical proof of that statement?

Nah, a little birdy told me so.

Posted by: Barnabas at June 30, 2007 06:30 PM (jlhQk)

22 Re: making fun of little people,

I hear at these little people conferences they toss around big people jokes like they're midgets in a midget tossing contest.

Posted by: chinotex at June 30, 2007 06:51 PM (1gV87)

23 Lauraw's comment, "Dude in the middle wants it most" cracked me up.
Dwarf youngsters are incredibly cute.

The grown ups are like anyone else, only shorter.

Posted by: Nice Deb at June 30, 2007 07:53 PM (lbotK)

ya - bring on the 'couth'.

Midgets are fine with me.

Life's short and so are they.

Posted by: uncouth yob at June 30, 2007 09:00 PM (aNH3D)

It's the 4 fingers of death that frighten us ND.

The little sausage hands is a dificulty many can't overcome.

My brother, who is 6' 220 and FIT, where as I am 6'1 and a little soft, is TERRIFIED of midgets.

He doesn't know why, he just knows that he is.

I don't get it, but, Every year he has screwed with me (3) when I said I got him a good gift he asked me what it is, I would say something like "you have to wait till the midget delivers it!

No shit, my very large brother has an irrational fear of little people.

It isn't hatred, it's honest to goodness fear.

Weird shit in my opinion.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at June 30, 2007 10:28 PM (QTv8u)

One of my favorite episodes of Vegas involved little people at a convention.

CSI?

Posted by: Entropy at July 01, 2007 06:51 AM (HgAV0)

27 It wouldn't hurt to have a rare display of couth on this thread.

I believe that "couth" and the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (tm) may be incompatible, and forcing them into the same area may create some sort of singularity or rip in th space/time continuum.

Posted by: CrankyProf at July 01, 2007 07:11 AM (Pt0Hz)

28 Dwarves, okay. But never trust an elf.

Posted by: David Ross at July 01, 2007 07:35 AM (5Xmx2)

29 Do they have any luck with regular size women?

Posted by: ricpic at July 01, 2007 08:28 AM (jrDE7)

30 WP - Your brother's fear is well-placed. It's a well-known fact that midgets can eat your soul.

Posted by: Xoxotl at July 01, 2007 09:02 AM (F/ysA)

31 Does anyone know why they insist on calling themselves "little people"? Why not just dwarves and midgets? Little People sounds so demeaning. Like retards calling themselves "special".

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