Ace of Spades HQ

April 28, 2006

Meat As A Condiment (For More Meat)
— Ace

Why put ketchup and mustard on your burger when what will really bring out that big burger flavor is a Philly cheesestake added on top of it as a garnish?

The innovation is surely inspired by Homer Simpson's famous dinner order: "A thirty-two ounce steak, and to drink...? Meatballs."

We live in an age of miracles and wonders, my friends. The singularity grows near.

Bonus! My genius idea of a "meata pita" -- a wrap actually just made of meat -- must be in R&D in the labs at this very moment.

Via Ginger.

Posted by: Ace at 11:07 AM | Comments (37)
Post contains 108 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I thought 'meat pita' was slang for vagina.

Posted by: roc ingersol at April 28, 2006 11:35 AM (m2CN7)

2 Not quite the perfect burger, really. Only one type of dead animal represented. The perfect burger would be a hambuger with chicken cordon bleu on top - three dead animals, between toasted buns.

Posted by: Slublog at April 28, 2006 11:44 AM (aGpO3)

3 Mmmmm. I'll have two, please.

Posted by: ErikW at April 28, 2006 11:45 AM (zBLqk)

4 Don't forget the turkaden (sp) - a chicken inside a duck inside a goose inside a turkey, or something like that.

Or you could go in the opposite direction like the Brits and have a spaghetti and marmite on white bread sandwich. (Shudder)

Posted by: max at April 28, 2006 11:48 AM (210f1)

5 Or a "meata PETA", preferably chicken.

Posted by: Master Shake at April 28, 2006 11:55 AM (VmtE9)

6 SCREW PETA LETS EAT MEAT

Posted by: spurwing plover at April 28, 2006 11:57 AM (A09bm)

7 I think the Atkins diet has finally driven Ace over the brink, taking many of his followers with him. It was only a matter of time...

Posted by: sandy burger at April 28, 2006 11:58 AM (K2rlS)

8 Don't laugh. Ever tried a Pastrami Burger? mmmmm pastrami burger....

And it's turducken. A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. All boneless.

Posted by: Gromulin at April 28, 2006 12:11 PM (Mzj71)

9 I'm a chef-wannabe and came across this recipe for turducken a few months ago. If you have the time, patience and money (unlike myself), bon appetit!

http://www.chefpaul.com/turducken.html

Posted by: ErikW at April 28, 2006 12:42 PM (zBLqk)

10 I ain't gonna eat anything called a Turd...whatever.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at April 28, 2006 01:00 PM (XbJeu)

11 The all-time record for stuffing the maximum amount of saturated fat into a single dish has be the hamdog.

It's is a hot dog wrapped in cheese. Then it's wrapped in a hamburger patty. Then the whole thing is deep fried. Served on a hoagie bun. Then it's covered with chili.

It's really best served with a slice of bacon and a fried egg on top.

Now that's good eatin'.

Posted by: Phinn at April 28, 2006 01:10 PM (TYNA0)

12 slublog,
am i missing something here? The perfect burger would have three animals? lets see, beef, the burger, chicken the chicken and veal, oh yeah beef. So is cheese an animal? or is there some eastern airlines mystery meat included here that I don't know about in your chicken cordon bleu? Inquiring minds want to know. or do you think veal is goat? kemp.

Posted by: kemperman at April 28, 2006 03:32 PM (Wc54u)

13 Pork is the mystery meat here. Chicken, pork and beef. If we could find a way to add fish to the mix, it would really excellent.

Posted by: Slublog at April 28, 2006 03:46 PM (aGpO3)

14 Ham, actually.

When I make chicken cordon bleu, it has ham.

Posted by: Slublog at April 28, 2006 03:58 PM (aGpO3)

15 "Other restaurants have just topped burgers with cheese, peppers and onions, and called them 'Cheesesteak burgers,' but they didn't taste like a Cheesesteak," said Brad Haley, executive vice president of marketing for
Hardee's.

They sure didn't, Brad. Thanks for going the extra mile.

Posted by: at April 28, 2006 04:06 PM (aBntd)

16 Somebody order a burger? Here in Vegas we snear at your philly cheesesteak garnish. We prefer lobster, or even truffles thankewverrymuch.

Posted by: Enas Yorl at April 28, 2006 04:48 PM (5wPX8)

17 Enas Yorl,

A somewhat recent addition to Vegas, and long time LA favorite, is Pink's. It's a hot dog place, which is like saying the Titanic was a boat. Seriously - check it out.

Just to review, yes I did say "Pink's. It's a hot dog place." Stuff that in your "meat pita" and . . . um . . . do whatever it is you do after stuffing it.

Posted by: jerkoff at April 28, 2006 05:29 PM (lbmO+)

18 Moe: Hey Sabu, I need another Magnum, of your best champagne here, eh! And bring us your finest food stuffed with the second finest.

Waiter: Good choice sir, that's lobster stuffed with tacos!

Posted by: toby928 at April 28, 2006 05:37 PM (PD1tk)

19 As Dave @ GR would say, "This is old, ace." I had a post on this nine days ago.

Posted by: Sean M. at April 28, 2006 05:40 PM (dc5zY)

20 Outrage! Man asked for a Philly Cheesesteak and told 'no'!

h/t James Taranto.

Posted by: doolz at April 28, 2006 05:42 PM (fX4/O)

21 What about some trouser snake -- the other white meat

Posted by: Mike at April 28, 2006 06:28 PM (XbJeu)

22 Jerkoff was correct - we have the ultimate hotdog purveyor here too.

Remember - what happens in Vegas - STAYS in Vegas - except for calories. Those you get to take with you, after depositing an equal amount of cash. Thankewverrymuch.

Posted by: Enas Yorl at April 28, 2006 06:31 PM (5wPX8)

23 People on Atkins have been eating meata pitas and meat rollups for years.

Posted by: Lone Ranger at April 28, 2006 06:50 PM (zgXhM)

24 there is something LIKE a meat pita. it's more like a meat Wrap, but some roulades consiste almost exclusively of beef and cheese.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at April 28, 2006 07:32 PM (QTv8u)

25 Stuffed Camel

1 whole camel, medium size
1 whole lamb, large size
20 whole chickens, medium size
60 eggs
12 kilos rice
2 kilos pine nuts
2 kilos almonds
1 kilo pistachio nuts
110 gallons water
5 pounds black pepper
Salt to taste

Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts. Serves friendly crowd of 80-100.

Shararazod Eboli Home Economist, Dammam, Saudi Arabia

Posted by: now THAT'S a lot of meat at April 29, 2006 07:20 AM (rFLG5)

26 Slublog,

Sorry, I my rich white Southern mom NEVER included any PORK in my Cordon Bleu. Do you think she was a closet Jew or maybe a Mohamadden? The only pork we got to eat was cooked on a pit for 12-20 hours with lots of beer for the pig and dad. Why would Yankees put pork on cheese? yeech. Beer yes, cheese, no, too much grease for the delicate Southern taste buds. Kemp

Posted by: kemperman at April 29, 2006 12:07 PM (Wc54u)

27 And after that, the perfect snack: the hamwinkie

A roll of ham inside a delicious snack cake!

Posted by: Jay at April 29, 2006 04:59 PM (rD+kE)

28
Stuffed Elephant

Skin, trim and clean elephant. Insert stuffed camel. Serves friendly crowd of 200-300.

Posted by: Alton Brown at April 29, 2006 06:53 PM (5WcWV)

29 I think this is called a paradise burger, something my sons tried this past week. A bacon cheeseburger, but instead of a bun you use two grilled cheese sandwiches. Mmmmm...

Posted by: Philip at April 30, 2006 08:58 AM (LCPsu)

30 May also be inspired by the "Carnivore Platter" from "Cheers," which I believe was a steak smothered in pork chops.

Posted by: Robb at April 30, 2006 04:21 PM (o+VUh)

31 I'm sorry but the day that I pay 15 dollars for a hot dog will be the day that you pry the stuffed camel from my cold dead hands.

P.S.
Alton, do you cook that elephant for 5 or 6 days?

Posted by: The Real Steve at May 01, 2006 09:57 AM (n0lBX)

32 I love alton brown if it's the same guy, Gimme more gimmicky lame food advice that I can barely apply without making people vomit.

I love love love good eats.

dananananananana GOOD EAnanananananananananana Duh NA"

Posted by: Wickedpinto at May 01, 2006 11:39 AM (QTv8u)

33 The Real Steve,

You can get the original Pinks in LA for around 1/2 as much. Really - they're spectacular.

Posted by: jerkoff at May 01, 2006 08:52 PM (lbmO+)

34 Good design!
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Posted by: Karen Millen dresses at March 11, 2012 07:56 PM (JU6QV)

37 However the more ketchup or mustard you eat with your meat the more food you want.
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