January 29, 2009
— Ace Not really a giggle-type story, which it might have been had he been utterly thwarted. He stabbed the hell out of her.
A JEALOUS lover wanted to cut off his ex-girlfriend's breasts to "reclaim" the breast implants that he had paid for.
Armed with a knife and lurking in the dark, Thomas Lee Rowley waited in ambush to reclaim what he thought was rightfully his: his former girlfriends breast implants that Rowley paid for.
As his former girlfriend stepped outside the back door of her mothers house in Hesperia, Rowley, 28, stabbed her six times in the head and torso.
Thats the picture painted by Deputy District Attorney David Foy on the first day of testimony in Rowleys trial for attempted murder of ex-girl friend, Shanon Perry, 26, on July 25, 2006.
Im gonna cut em out and get em back, [the man's former roommate] testified that Rowley told him.
The breast implants were punctured during the attack and were eventually repaired.
And then there's this. From Durban, South Africa.
Indictments are to be served on five men in April, accused of gunning down three pub patrons after an argument over the size of their penises, the Durban Magistrate's Court heard on Thursday.
At the time of the shootings, police said the argument began when a patron of Indian descent made a comment about the size of a white patron's genitals while both were at the pub's urinals.
An officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity at the time said: "The white man went to the toilet and an Indian guy followed him. While in the urinal, the Indian man told the white man that his penis was bigger than his (the white man's).
The three patrons were then shot dead. The two police officers suspected of involvement were later suspended.
Gandhi did that too. That's why he got kicked out of South Africa. (No, not really.)
Posted by: Beto The Elder at January 29, 2009 11:51 AM (v0oaz)
Posted by: shim at January 29, 2009 11:53 AM (qB1yC)
Whew! I was worried about the status of them. I'm glad it has a happy ending.
Posted by: lorien1973 at January 29, 2009 11:54 AM (IhQuA)
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Posted by: polynikes at January 29, 2009 12:07 PM (m2CN7)
The Indian guy could have gotten away if he hadn't tripped on his dick.
Posted by: polynikes at January 29, 2009 12:12 PM (m2CN7)
Posted by: EC at January 29, 2009 12:12 PM (iWj1i)
That's pretty messed up, man.
Clearly, he's not the brightest bulb in the lamp in the first place, but what was he really thinking? That they'd just plip to the ground after a few slices? That, at least, he'd get two gratifying streams of saline shooting from her chest as she ran, sobbing with embarassment, back into the house? That there would be any sort of end to this action that wouldn't involve doing time? And what was he planning on doing with them once he did "get them back?" Return them? Put 'em up on Craigslist? Save them for his next girlfriend?
*sigh* What is wrong with society?
Posted by: reason at January 29, 2009 12:12 PM (sPO/s)
Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at January 29, 2009 12:13 PM (THsyA)
Posted by: CUS at January 29, 2009 12:15 PM (wOGfT)
What the hell was he going to do with them?
Implant them in his own chest. That way he could play with 'em whenever he wanted.
Posted by: Homer at January 29, 2009 12:17 PM (H2r6L)
"Are you gellin'?"
Posted by: adamthemad at January 29, 2009 12:17 PM (kIjlp)
Sorry. But if your middle name is Lee or Wayne - you're fucked. Sooner or later you're gonna pull some shit like this.
Damn right. You know it's true.
There it is. That little voice.
I'm typing in your head...
Posted by: Dang at January 29, 2009 12:24 PM (Y5LIx)
OH MY FUCKING LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111shiftone!!11
* dies laughing *
Posted by: EC at January 29, 2009 12:24 PM (iWj1i)
Number one sign that you might have a small dick: That you get angry enough to go on a shooting rampage after being told you have a small dick.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at January 29, 2009 12:31 PM (rf03a)
What white guy goes to Africa looking for a fight over who's got the bigger dick?
Like The Humungus said, "Just walk away. I give you free passage through the wasteland. Just walk away."
Posted by: Dang at January 29, 2009 12:35 PM (Y5LIx)
Posted by: Shaitan at January 29, 2009 01:00 PM (65WaW)
oh ok so when this guy is in the prision shower he won't have a gun what then ? Ha he'll have to be put on thorazine.
Posted by: Krazy Kat at January 29, 2009 01:06 PM (K4Zxt)
'What white guy goes to Africa looking for a fight over who's got the bigger dick?"
Damn, fries all over the screen!! LMFAO
Posted by: navyopjoe at January 29, 2009 01:09 PM (CLbA3)
Sell them to Teh One to fill out his pecs a bit more.
Posted by: PA Cat at January 29, 2009 01:09 PM (Oc7bG)
Posted by: nickless at January 29, 2009 02:19 PM (MMC8r)
No shit. My husband's middle name is Wayne, and when I learned that when we were first dating, it really gave me pause. We've been married many years, and as far I know he hasn't tried to off me--yet, anyway.
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Posted by: Mule at January 29, 2009 04:24 PM (yCy5u)
And I think we're discounting Thomas Lee Rowley's angle here. This is obviously a backdoor attempt into overturning Roe v. Wade. If women can decide the fate of our future spawn without input from the XY chromosome, then can't we at least get our expensive salt sacks back if proof of purchase is verified? Granted Rowleys method of retrieval is morbidly flawed, but its nothing a team of lawyers and a good script writer couldnt clean up on the backside of a Kirk Cameron Lifetime Movie reprisal.
Posted by: Mule at January 29, 2009 04:51 PM (yCy5u)
There is a chess game in play, and we are all but pawns. All the governments on Earth cannot stand before the whims of Big Boobs Dick Boobs Dick Boobs
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