June 18, 2008

John McCain 'Haiku' Exposition
— LauraW

I put little doodads around 'Haiku' because occasionally some smartass shows up in these threads and tells us we're not doing it right.

We know it's not really haiku, OK? It's just a handy form that soothes the savage moron, allowing him to distill his frenzied rants down to a few terse, drool-moistened words.

The spare form gives our observations on pudding a certain resonance.
I'll kick it off with one dedicated to Mr. John McCain:

Untitled

Lie to me again
you fucking FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKER AAAAARRRGGGHH
I'm gonna get drunk

Whew.
That might not have been a 5-7-5 format. When this burst blood vessel in my eye clears a bit, I'll have to count syllables and tighten that one up.

Posted by: LauraW at 08:01 AM | Comments (153)
Post contains 131 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Tell me, Maverick
Why 'intolerant agents'
Should bother to vote?

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 08:03 AM (R8+nJ)

2

You silly voters

Yeah, like I care what you want

Just shut up, dammit

Posted by: ha, suckahs at June 18, 2008 08:06 AM (I/JNA)

3 Time for some 'straight talk'
Every time I say "my friends,"
Protect your cornholes

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:07 AM (R8+nJ)

4 Lauraw  --  you're not doing it right.

Posted by: Dumbass at June 18, 2008 08:07 AM (7DB+a)

5 Hellfires Kill Jihadists Dead. Jihadists Would-be Martyrs Targets Appearently the whole 5-7-5 business is a mis-westernization of the 'real' style. Check Wikipedia.

Posted by: Al at June 18, 2008 08:09 AM (Lk931)

6 Sulphur and brimstone --
The Maverick approaches!
We are so, so fucked.


Posted by: CrankyProf at June 18, 2008 08:10 AM (mlPw2)

7

Ah, Laura, I always hear Billy Joel's "She's Always a Woman" when you haiku like that...but I digress.

 

Our choice in oh eight

Rests between damned if you don't

And scream if you do.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at June 18, 2008 08:10 AM (B+qrE)

8 Up for more "straight talk?"
Vice President Huckabee
Maverick, baby!

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:10 AM (R8+nJ)

9 # 3, lol

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 08:12 AM (8zcti)

10

Wikipedia

Network disinformation

Whatever

 

Posted by: Anachronda at June 18, 2008 08:12 AM (1OYcp)

11 McCainiacs swoop
Demand tongue bath for McCain
Again, we decline.

Posted by: GRC at June 18, 2008 08:13 AM (Jnpl3)

12 Haiku ain't poetry. As far as I am concerned, if a poem doesn't mention the word "Nantucket" it just ain't a poem.

Posted by: wordsworth at June 18, 2008 08:13 AM (BghOJ)

13 As the nominee,
I miss my weekly tongue-bath
From the media

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:14 AM (R8+nJ)

14

Maverick fucktard

Tortured POW? Oh yes

Just ask me fucker

Posted by: RobG at June 18, 2008 08:14 AM (6Oq7N)

15

This talk of drilling

I do not think it means what

You think it means, BITCH

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:14 AM (YCVBL)

16

Firefox 3's out

Johnny Mac is flip-flopping

Both turd sandwiches

 

Posted by: EC at June 18, 2008 08:15 AM (mAhn3)

17 Sent to Vietnam, To fight 'gainst the yellow man, Born in USA

Posted by: B. Springsteen at June 18, 2008 08:17 AM (+kJAy)

18

Open Borders John

Or the Pooh Bear at the helm

Please kill me quickly

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 08:18 AM (1MNZL)

19

A Poem for CNN's Roland Martin.

Culture of corruption

That was the meme in 2006

Seems so long ago

 

 

 

Posted by: Big E at June 18, 2008 08:18 AM (uw1/g)

20 Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.
Cunt cunt vote for me.

Posted by: Unknown Moron at June 18, 2008 08:19 AM (Buc5B)

21 Conservatives? Blah
Give me moderates baby
For I am Maverick!

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:20 AM (hlYel)

22

The Road Less Traveled (with apologies to assholes everywhere)

John McCain a conservative

If by conservative you mean

A fucking asshole

Posted by: Big E at June 18, 2008 08:22 AM (uw1/g)

23 That's killer, E.

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:23 AM (YCVBL)

24 I love mosquitoes More than American folks Anwar 4 evah!

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:25 AM (ao5cQ)

25

 Family Budweiser

Mexicans like budweiser

Need Open Borders

 

 

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 08:26 AM (1MNZL)

26 Gas prices too high?
The planet has a fever!
All hail Kyoto!

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:26 AM (R8+nJ)

27 Only common proles, Believe lie of your torture, I like little boys.

Posted by: G. Vidal at June 18, 2008 08:27 AM (+kJAy)

28

Do I have this right? Are you implying that the flip-flopper from AZ is in fact untrustwortyn; ie not a "straight talk"er,  but a waffler? Wow!  Combody get the word to Chuck keating!

 

Posted by: Rod Stanton at June 18, 2008 08:29 AM (M5W3W)

29 Yes, you'll get my vote, Because Obama scares me, But I'll get drunk first.

Posted by: Lee at June 18, 2008 08:30 AM (+kJAy)

30 I am no homo So, will you kindly ignore The dick in my mouth

Posted by: Gore Vidol at June 18, 2008 08:32 AM (ao5cQ)

31 Here you go, custom made for those who suffer from MDS. Party like it's 1992 baby!

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 08:33 AM (GpFDF)

32

Oil gas coal and shale

Tan lights burn but I look pale

High gas price, I fail

Posted by: Shrug at June 18, 2008 08:34 AM (+ZT5h)

33 What ya gonna do?
I'm better than Obama
Pull the lever, chump!

Posted by: Eric J at June 18, 2008 08:35 AM (fbwu0)

34 MDS.  Give me a frigging break with that nonsense.

Why can't McCainiacs seem to get it through their heads that I can both loathe John McCain and yet still vote for the bastard?

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 08:36 AM (R8+nJ)

35

When I take power

It's Anbar awakening

In my hoary loins

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:37 AM (YCVBL)

36

... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

 

Posted by: The Bigots at June 18, 2008 08:38 AM (0t6Ct)

37 Please win, John McCain.
I can't look at Barack's mole
for the next four years.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at June 18, 2008 08:39 AM (/Z3eF)

38 MDS.  Give me a frigging break with that nonsense.

As you just pointed out, you loathe John McCain. Enjoy your MDS.

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 08:39 AM (GpFDF)

39

John Mcain can't see

The illegals from his house

shut up you bigots

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 08:40 AM (1MNZL)

40

when 'mav cornholes us,

he's actually thinking

of ted kennedy.

Posted by: jdub at June 18, 2008 08:41 AM (0t6Ct)

41

With a base like this

Who needs enemies like Dems

Obama O8!

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 08:41 AM (m2CN7)

42

shut up you bigots

cant hear what la raza wants

me to do to you!

Posted by: john mccain at June 18, 2008 08:43 AM (0t6Ct)

43 As you just pointed out, you loathe John McCain. Enjoy your MDS.

Yes, I loathe John McCain.  I've hated him since 2000, when he called me an "agent of intolerance."  However, I still see him as preferable to Obama, so I plan to vote for him.  I don't hate McCain simply because he's McCain (the defining characteristic of BDS).

BTW, how many 'praise McCain' points are you earning with the McCain campaign right now?

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 08:44 AM (R8+nJ)

44

ANWR is pristine

just like my sainted mother

and almost as old

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 18, 2008 08:44 AM (pzen5)

45 The chap was from Arizona And spent time in a war zone-a He thinks he's a Maverick, Duped by the press schtick And has the sense of a begonia.

Posted by: Al at June 18, 2008 08:46 AM (Lk931)

46

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could  not travel both

And be one traveller, I kneeled in place

And kissed Al Gore's balls.

 

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:46 AM (YCVBL)

47

BTW, how many 'praise McCain' points are you earning with the McCain campaign right now?

 

You know, I was about to mock you, slub, until i remembered that they actually have that goofy thing.


Posted by: jdub at June 18, 2008 08:47 AM (0t6Ct)

48

Why can't McCainiacs seem to get it through their heads that I can both loathe John McCain and yet still vote for the bastard?

If your goal is not to have Obama as President then everytime you diminish McCain's status you are sabotaging your own mission.  Illogical in every sense.

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 08:48 AM (m2CN7)

49 If your goal is not to have Obama as President then everytime you diminish McCain's status you are sabotaging your own mission.  Illogical in every sense.

Yes, the outrage of an anonymous commenter on a blog is going to diminish the status of a presidential candidate.

Makes perfect sense.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 08:49 AM (R8+nJ)

50

I think I'm in love

With that sexy bitch Laura

Wanna fuck, Laura?

----------------------------

Vote for me, morons

You're not voting Democrat

So fuck you retards

----------------------------

We have a big chance

To suck up to illegals

Vaya con Dios

-----------------------------

I'm a straight talker

Until I want to flip-flop

Mav'rick status rules!

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 08:49 AM (HrVHr)

51 Maverick, Messiah
To hell in a handbasket
Is where both will lead

Posted by: shibumi at June 18, 2008 08:53 AM (tZB/c)

52 Don't like me, do you?
Heh, Stupid Conservatives
Me or Him. You fucked.

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 08:54 AM (hlYel)

53

Yes, the outrage of an anonymous commenter on a blog is going to diminish the status of a presidential candidate.

Makes perfect sense.

You're in denial now.  Ace of Spades is not just some run of the mill blog and you're a contributor.  I guess we shouldn't worry about those lefty blogs either since they have no effect.  Makes perfect sense.  

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 08:54 AM (m2CN7)

54 Oh, ye voices of America, let us speak of McCain. O ye Senators, ye oil drillers, ye polar bears, and ye moderates. O ye mavericks and ye media members, O ye Gangs of 14, and ye Mexicans. O ye Lyndsey Grahams, O ye Susan Collins, O ye Liebermans, O ye 'my good friends.' O ye straight talkers upon thou straight talk express, O ye conservatives with lube on your bottoms, you are in a big mess. O ye Republicans, O ye blue collar Dems, O ye independents, as well. O ye Hillary voters pissed off, we'll take your vote, I guess. O ye RINOs, O ye DINOs, O ye beer baronesses. O ye Pawlentys, O ye Samfords, O ye Jindals, O ye Palins. O ye talkng heads on television, who do nothing but blather. O ye morons of AoS, you Scandi-loathing gaggle. O ye Vietcong captors, short, yellow, and mean. O ye left wing bloggers, you America hating fiends....

Posted by: W. Whitman (I don't do haiku, I do overwrought freeverse) at June 18, 2008 08:55 AM (+kJAy)

55

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who said of the country, "Fuck it."

He's joined by McCain

Whose plan it is plain

To open the borders insane.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 08:57 AM (HrVHr)

56 You're in denial now.  Ace of Spades is not just some run of the mill blog and you're a contributor.  I guess we shouldn't worry about those lefty blogs either since they have no effect.  Makes perfect sense. 

So we should just slavishly follow the Maverick's every whim instead of trying to push the party's nominee in a more conservative direction?  Watching McCain's internet fans try to shut down every criticism of the guy with "oh, but your foul words are hurting the party!" is getting rather tiring.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 08:58 AM (R8+nJ)

57 However, I still see him as preferable to Obama, so I plan to vote for him

After all the time spent attacking McCain on this blog, your vote is essentially meaningless.

BTW, how many 'praise McCain' points are you earning with the McCain campaign right now?

None that i know of, how's your quest to be Allahpuindits mini-me going?

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 08:59 AM (GpFDF)

58 None that i know of, how's your quest to be Allahpuindits mini-me going?

Quite well, actually.  The 'shops are really taking off, and my sense of pessimism grows daily.

Life is good.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 09:00 AM (R8+nJ)

59

Slublog at June 18, 2008 01:58 PM (R8+nJ

What good is pushing McCain anywhere right now if he doesn't get elected.   And I don't think derogatory Haikus are the type of constructive criticisms you should be trying to use to make your point.  Your logic is tiresome.

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 09:02 AM (m2CN7)

60

Lindshey Grahamnesty

Ish one of my toady friendsh

Company you keep

--------------------------

Teddy Kennedy

Speaking of company kept

Amnesty for all

---------------------------

Russ Feingold, my friend

Putrid company indeed

No free speech for you

---------------------------

Hi Joe Lieberman

We're both conservatives, friend

On one whole issue

------------------------------

I don't have good friends

On the conservative side

Gee, I wonder why

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:04 AM (HrVHr)

61 I should make it clear that I think he's more than fair game after he is elected.

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 09:05 AM (m2CN7)

62 Your logic is tiresome.
Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 02:02 PM (m2CN7)

As is your pedantry.

Forgive us for letting off some steam.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 09:05 AM (R8+nJ)

63

Maverick's ahead

conservatism in winter

vote for me you jerk 

Posted by: Veeshir at June 18, 2008 09:06 AM (ThMnZ)

64

HA!

Let's ban derogatory haikus.

Wait...is this a wingnut or a moonbat sight?

Posted by: Cluebat from Exodar at June 18, 2008 09:06 AM (WGcw3)

65 site

Posted by: Cluebat from Exodar at June 18, 2008 09:06 AM (Mv/2X)

66

Did I mention yet

I'm fantasizing about

Laura's sweet cornhole?

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:08 AM (HrVHr)

67

I'm doing whatever Slu tells me to do. Slu don't like McCain? I don't like McCain.

Every four years I checks--what's Slu doin'? Then I does that same thing.

Posted by: spongeworthy at June 18, 2008 09:09 AM (a00go)

68

Posted by: spongeworthy at June 18, 2008 02:09 PM (a00go)

It's pretty sweet.  Guy's been sending me money for weeks.

(The check's late, btw...get crackin')

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 09:10 AM (R8+nJ)

69

climate change is real

I believe we have to change

but we’ll start with you

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 18, 2008 09:11 AM (pzen5)

70

I should make it clear that I think he's more than fair game after he is elected.

Ah, yes.  Let's rant at him after all our leverage is gone.  That there is some sterling logic.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 18, 2008 09:12 AM (VBon8)

71

McCaniacs weep

Please leave Maverick Alone !

We want to believe

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 09:13 AM (1MNZL)

72 Slubs point is well taken. McCain has moved his position on drilling because of a few million angry voices, and his chances are better as a result. We can speak out and change the candidates position. Also six caribou signed up for McCain '08 yesterday. Could this be the beginning of the ANWR awakening?

Posted by: alycan at June 18, 2008 09:16 AM (Il2Ep)

73

Jebus, just get in line and vote for him and shut yer pie-hole

And send him money this summer and fall

And if you're lucky, very lucky, he won't stick his finger in your eye today

And if he does it today, then you thank him anyway cuz Obama! is much worse

(yeah I know, I suck at the haiku format, but at least I got a mention of a season in there).

Posted by: Veeshir at June 18, 2008 09:16 AM (ThMnZ)

74

Laura enchants me

Yes I'd drink her bathwater

Eat corn from her shit

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:16 AM (HrVHr)

75 Which Laura? Radio talkshow host? Sure, emminently hittable in der squeakhole. Laura W? Not so much. The hump gets in the way.

Posted by: XBradTC at June 18, 2008 09:16 AM (kddTy)

76

LauraW? I'd eat the corn from her shit just to see where it comes from.

And the hump? Man does that make "doggie style" pretty darn fun.

Posted by: Veeshir at June 18, 2008 09:18 AM (ThMnZ)

77 will chose to keep his nose and the rest....

Why is John McCain unfit to be President of the United States? Here you go....

But I would rather have a clean government than one where quote First Amendment rights are being respected that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I'd rather have the clean government."-John McCain in May of 2006

BTW- if you think Ace, the cobloggers or hell any conservative blogger is so damn influential, did you notice we couldn't stop McCain from getting the nomination. Surely we'd have more influence during a Republican primary season than the general election.



Posted by: DrewM. at June 18, 2008 09:19 AM (hlYel)

78 Either way, Maverick
Or the Obamessiah,
America is fucked.

Posted by: Brown Line at June 18, 2008 09:20 AM (VrNoa)

79

Leave McCain alone!

Say unprincipled RINOs

And grab your ankles

------------------------

We survived Carter

And we survived FDR

Barry can't kill us

----------------------

RINO scare tactics

Are getting very tiresome

Screw you party hacks

--------------------------

McCain's a cipher

He changes his spots daily

Unprincipled hack

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:22 AM (HrVHr)

80

I should make it clear that I think he's more than fair game after he is elected.

Ah, yes.  Let's rant at him after all our leverage is gone.  That there is some sterling logic.

Maybe we should just shut down all the phone lines to all officials after they've been elected.  We gots no leverage anyway.  And what was the celebration 'conservative' were doing after Miers withdrew her nomination? Logic indeed.

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 09:22 AM (m2CN7)

81 Man from Nantucket:
Sucked own dick, wiped chin and said
"I'd fuck an ear-cunt."

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at June 18, 2008 09:23 AM (/Z3eF)

82 Can this great nation
Survive Obama as PRez?
Oh si, se puede!

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 09:24 AM (8zcti)

83

Don't care about humps

Just want the verbal abuse

My fuck doll won't talk

-------------------------

Does she kill hobos?

Is the important question

Well, Laura my love?

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:26 AM (HrVHr)

84
Go on - just say it:
Say "President Obama".
Hear Hamas rejoice.

Clueless git McCain:
He wins, and the Left despairs.
Guess I'll hold my nose.

Posted by: Brown Line at June 18, 2008 09:27 AM (VrNoa)

85

First, I have no problem if you take the position you are not voting for McCain and that he would be almost as bad as Obama.  Where I have a problem is declaring you are going to vote for someone, presumably because you want him to win or want the other guy to lose and then proceed to bash him unmercifully in full view of everyone to the detriment of your goal.  I thought liberals were supposed to be the dumb ones. 

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 09:29 AM (m2CN7)

86

And the hump? Man does that make "doggie style" pretty darn fun.

Well, it does give me someplace to put my beer.

Posted by: XBradTC at June 18, 2008 09:29 AM (kddTy)

87

"I'm lying again

 

McCainiacs are fainting

 

Fuck you conservatives"

 

J McC

Posted by: TomJW at June 18, 2008 09:30 AM (xRCpL)

88 Note to McCain fans: That cock can no longer be productively sucked.

Posted by: Retired (Not Gay) at June 18, 2008 09:30 AM (TKTME)

89 Where I have a problem is declaring you are going to vote for someone, presumably because you want him to win or want the other guy to lose and then proceed to bash him unmercifully in full view of everyone to the detriment of your goal.  I thought liberals were supposed to be the dumb ones.

Haha.  From pedantry to ad hominem in one fell swoop.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 09:31 AM (R8+nJ)

90

Maybe we should just shut down all the phone lines to all officials after they've been elected.  We gots no leverage anyway. 

Tell me something, how much did your calls to McCain affect his votes on illegeal immigration?  Yea, I thought so.  But you think you will have more power to affect him when he is President?  oh, ok.

And what was the celebration 'conservative' were doing after Miers withdrew her nomination? Logic indeed.

I can't speak for anyone else, I'm not much of a pack animal, but I was happy as shit.  She has no more business on the SC than I do.  But if you think getting Miers scotched, a woman who was equally disapproved of on both sides of the aisle is the same thing as opening up drilling in federal territories, which Democrats, who control both houses of Congress, will never support, then your prescription needs adjustment.

 

Posted by: JackStraw at June 18, 2008 09:32 AM (VBon8)

91 For wordsworth:

Even Nantucket
will not bring itself to vote
'hopenchange' this Fall.

Bonus points for me for using a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kigo">kigo</a>

Posted by: Bitte Klingen GoddenGunz at June 18, 2008 09:34 AM (g5kuC)

92 Nonsense Jackstraw, you'd make a fine associate Justice.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 18, 2008 09:34 AM (pzen5)

93 Pedantic is just a fancier ad hominen word than dumb.  

Posted by: will chose to keep his nose at June 18, 2008 09:35 AM (m2CN7)

94

Fuck fucking RINOS

And fuck fucking John McCain

Fucking RINO puke

------------------------------

Juan will damage us

More than O, by ruining

Conservative brand

-------------------------

Think past November

Past Barry or Juan McCain

Marathon not sprint

 

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:35 AM (HrVHr)

95 Pedantic is just a fancier ad hominen word than dumb. 

Actually, "pedant" is more condescending than directly insulting. 

That's just the way I roll.

Posted by: Slublog at June 18, 2008 09:36 AM (R8+nJ)

96

ANWR is like, what,

bout nineteen million acres?

think of the tourists!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 18, 2008 09:36 AM (pzen5)

97 No HTML?
No Preview Button for me?
Just call me a n00b

Posted by: Bitte Klingen GoddenGunz at June 18, 2008 09:36 AM (g5kuC)

98

Close the Borders John

All of Arizona cries

falling on deaf ears

 

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 09:38 AM (1MNZL)

99

get me a sammich
you little jerk, and a beer
thanks, you little c*nt


Haiku for you,
large-breasted japanese girl
for me, no escape

Posted by: McWhiners of the 575th at June 18, 2008 09:40 AM (zAvxs)

100 Can't believe I'm saying this, but I pretty much agree with FUBAR (except for the whole dorking-me-up-the-squeakhole thing).

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 09:41 AM (8zcti)

101

Laura's post

Kills AOSHQ past posts

Make me a sammich.

Posted by: davis,br at June 18, 2008 09:45 AM (7QgFP)

102 I split the con vote
And now the FPOS
Won't return my calls

Posted by: Vice President Huckabee at June 18, 2008 09:45 AM (PLvLS)

103

You people are not

Using haiku to yammer

Stupid damn morons

------------------------------

I was gonna vote

For McCain but he talks like

A damn Communist

----------------------------

What's John McCain know

About obscene profits, huh?

Oh: Cindy McCain

------------------------------

He was for drilling

Before he was against it

ANWR is pristine.

-------------------------------

Confiscate profit

Over my dead body, Juan.

You damn Communist.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:47 AM (HrVHr)

104

We survived Carter

And we survived FDR

Barry can't kill us


Can this great nation
Survive Obama as PRez?
Oh si, se puede!


As always, it's the RINO's who don't want Obama to be President, while the "real" conservatives are more than willing to accept him. I'm sure you're all right and he'll magically produce that new Reagan, being omnipotent and all. Enjoy your pity party ladies.

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 09:49 AM (GpFDF)

105

Dorking the squeakhole

another way of saying

J-Mac SCOTUS nom

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 18, 2008 09:55 AM (pzen5)

106 Hmmm.

5-7-5

John McCain lives
to ass-fuck conservatives
dreaming of judges.

Posted by: memomachine at June 18, 2008 09:55 AM (XlmYx)

107

Laura thinks I'm smart

Oh joy cuz I love that tart

Let the games begin.

-------------------------

About that squeakhole

We could talk about it, girl

Do you kill hobos?

------------------------------

The New York Times' choice

Of GOP nominee

Is McCain, 'nuff said.

-------------------------------

 

 

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 09:57 AM (HrVHr)

108 gawdam CFR
biggest senate achievement
needed haiku clause

Posted by: Maverick McRino at June 18, 2008 09:58 AM (PLvLS)

109

DIT-

I guarantee I would write some very different dissenting opinions.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 18, 2008 10:01 AM (VBon8)

110

There was an old codger from Phoenie

Who was clearly a goat-licking weenie

He feared global warm

To conservative scorn

In hopes of a surplus of greenies.

Posted by: davis,br at June 18, 2008 10:03 AM (7QgFP)

111

As always, it's the RINO's who don't want Obama to be President, while the "real" conservatives are more than willing to accept him. I'm sure you're all right and he'll magically produce that new Reagan, being omnipotent and all. Enjoy your pity party ladies.

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 02:49 PM (GpFDF)

That's 50 points extra points for stupidity above and beyond the call of duty.  Now get back to the Straight Talk Express© and resume licking my balls.  When you get as old as I am the skin down there really gets dry.

PS Don't forget the taint!

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 10:05 AM (uw1/g)

112

 

I think FUBAR wins.

 

Posted by: Cluebat from Exodar at June 18, 2008 10:06 AM (WGcw3)

113

Please remember this:

Clinton gave us a Congress

Of Republicans

--------------------------------

House, Senate Repub

For one term of Obama?

I'm in, sign me up.

---------------------------

Please try to look past

November of this year, it's

not Armageddon.

---------------------------

Let Bambi screw

Democrats, not McCain screw

the Republicans

 

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 10:13 AM (HrVHr)

114 Between the tongues of
cruzer, polynikes and klrtz
my ballsack is warm

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 10:14 AM (PLvLS)

115

Fifth of Valu-Rite

Sniper rifle for hobos

Piece of Laura's ass.

--------------------

How do I love thee?

Drunk, bent over the dumpster,

Screaming sweet abuse.

---------------------

Don't worry Laura

I'm not a stalker, honey.

You sincerely hope.

----------------------

Speaking of screwing

Do you people think McCain

Won't do it to us?

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 10:25 AM (HrVHr)

116 I'm not afraid, hon.




*sends FUBAR's IP address to the FBI*

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 10:34 AM (8zcti)

117 That's 50 points extra points for stupidity above and beyond the call of duty.

Speaking of stupidity, you're obviously too stupid to read the other part of my comment -

We survived Carter

And we survived FDR

Barry can't kill us


Can this great nation
Survive Obama as PRez?
Oh si, se puede!


And since you obviously aren't capable of understanding where those quotes came from, i'll point out that they came from Laura W. and FUBAR.

Between the tongues of
cruzer, polynikes and klrtz
my ballsack is warm

Don't worry VtheK, you'll have the Obama's dick in your ass soon enough, just like you've always wanted.




Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 10:35 AM (GpFDF)

118

How do I love thee?

Drunk, bent over the dumpster,

Screaming sweet abuse.

 

I'm soooooo stealing that.

Posted by: XBradTC at June 18, 2008 10:41 AM (kddTy)

119

His arms only need

Limited mobility

To beat lefty ass.

 

Barack the commie

Pocket Change is all you'll have.

Hold nose; vote McCain

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at June 18, 2008 10:45 AM (p8IOE)

120

And the hump?

A nice place to set your drink.

I hear she gets cranky if you don't use a coaster though.

Posted by: captkidney at June 18, 2008 10:47 AM (Bq8Sp)

121 I just waxed it!

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 10:49 AM (8zcti)

122

McCain's endorsements always make me laugh.

They all seem to have two aspects, insulting you and telling you Obama! would be worse.

Posted by: Veeshir at June 18, 2008 10:52 AM (ThMnZ)

123 Yeah, the 'half a loaf' argument is not as compelling as it has been in the past.

Posted by: lauraw at June 18, 2008 11:04 AM (8zcti)

124 Too many kireji.

Posted by: mrobvious at June 18, 2008 11:11 AM (apDYv)

125

Bend over and take it

I am John the Maverick

moderates love me

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 11:13 AM (1MNZL)

126 Mav-Rick and Isemann "Lobbying" in a tree. F- U-C-K-N... ME?

Posted by: mrobvious at June 18, 2008 11:14 AM (apDYv)

127

Fence, yes I will build

Around nativists, damn them

For The Race, todo

Posted by: John McCain at June 18, 2008 11:18 AM (N7h3D)

128 Mavr-Rick and Isemann "Lobbying" in a tree. F- U-C-K-ing... ME? (sorry, but I'm a perfectionist. It's a tea ceremony kond of thing. And, yes, I know the Times story was bogus.)

Posted by: mrobvious at June 18, 2008 11:19 AM (apDYv)

129

Left bumfuck crazy

McCain chosen savior

Must wear cup backwards

Posted by: MlR at June 18, 2008 11:22 AM (N7h3D)

130

I cannot get aroused

I've Electile Dysfunction

Both candidates suck!

Posted by: compos mentis at June 18, 2008 11:23 AM (pzGnb)

131

I got the message

then won primaries

forgot the message

Posted by: Billy Bob at June 18, 2008 11:27 AM (1MNZL)

132

 

An Ode to the McCainiac's

Showing no sense of humor

And being a bunch of pricks

Won't make me like McCain

 

Posted by: Big E at June 18, 2008 11:30 AM (uw1/g)

133

McCain, "straight talk" Mav

Barry, magical negro

It's game over man

Posted by: Hudson at June 18, 2008 11:41 AM (N7h3D)

134

No need to bring the

FBI into this thing

We don't get along.

---------------------

Maverick can suck

My cash to pay for a hoax?

I don't think so, Mav.

------------------

Who told you global

warming was a good issue

to demagogue, Mav?

----------------------------

Between bad Big Oil

And global warming, Mav'rick

You're a communist.

--------------------------

Global warming hoax

Remove your head from your ass

You credulous chump.

------------------------

McCain will fellate

Global warming eco-nuts

And tree-hugging fags.

----------------------

Any adult who

sells the global warming hoax

cannot be trusted.

Posted by: FUBAR at June 18, 2008 11:44 AM (HrVHr)

135 I'll build the damn fence Agents of Intolerance bend over and vote!

Posted by: mrobvious at June 18, 2008 11:57 AM (apDYv)

136 McCain: I'll explain again. I know it's not rain you drain on my brain

Posted by: mrobvious at June 18, 2008 12:06 PM (apDYv)

137

McCain always does the right thing, if it's explained to him properly.

I'll build the Damn Fence

I'll Drill off the Shore

Suckas

 

I do not trust and do not like this man.  And YESYES YES 'bama is worse.

Breaking news, Rush Limbaugh is throwing his hat into the ring at the convention.  All votes in primaries are subject to redetermination.  Outcome, Rush, and VP Candidate Ann Coulter are officially on the ticket.  Unanimous vote from teh delegates.  McCain off to somewhere to have a cold beer with the wifey.  oBAMA and his VP choice John (I'm not gay) Edwards concede election under the condition that W's term is shortened and the new president takes office before Haloween.  Remember you heard it here first, and if the AP grabs it, Ace can keep the cash.

Posted by: Mephitis, the maverick conservative at June 18, 2008 12:20 PM (8vJF0)

138

KayInMaine hates me,

Sucking Eeyore's meaty dick.

She's pooh in the fall.

 

(Noting that I mentioned a season--something all haiku are supposed to contain.)

Posted by: john mccain at June 18, 2008 01:38 PM (jtd1p)

139

fear huck as the veep

execute retards, pardon

baptists, McCain old

 

Posted by: bleh at June 18, 2008 02:35 PM (GNCy6)

140
John is a joker
plastic-coated Maverick
Made in USA

* Note: The jokers in Maverick brand playing cards say "Maverick" in big red letters. So, its perfect.

Posted by: Nate at June 18, 2008 05:44 PM (+1ipd)

141

Illegals swimming

the chilly Rio Grande by

Christmas. Thanks McCain.

 

See what I did there? Good syllable use, captures a moment in nature referencing a season? That "my friendsssss" is a haiku.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at June 18, 2008 05:57 PM (O0ZxW)

142 Butterflies dancing

On fields of purple blossoms

McCain pees his pants



 









Posted by: eman at June 18, 2008 08:10 PM (WWkFI)

143 Whispering echoes

Meander through McCain's skull

Zombie Reagan feeds

Posted by: eman at June 18, 2008 08:16 PM (WWkFI)

144

I loves me some sweaty McCain ballsacks.

And kiddie porn.

Thus my name.

Posted by: cruzer at June 18, 2008 08:39 PM (MrDIe)

145

AoS girlies

Are making me fucking hot

P.S. Vote McCain.

Posted by: Pat O'Brien at June 18, 2008 09:09 PM (FgxdU)

146

Betsy just called and

said she's into it.  Did I

mention that I'm hot?

Posted by: Pat O'Brien at June 18, 2008 09:21 PM (FgxdU)

147 McCain website points
Hard to get at Ace O' Spades
Redeem for Laura

Meet your new V.P.
My pal Lindsey Grahamnesty
Mexicans drink free

Vote Mary K. Ham
Better than the Maverick
Allah in his bunk

Posted by: John Effin McCain at June 18, 2008 09:51 PM (pg/HS)

148 McCain has been drilling<P>
For obscene profits for years<P>
See: Cindy McCain

Posted by: VRWC Agent at June 18, 2008 11:01 PM (Z3AmO)

149 Ah, Pixie, you vexing fellow. How did you slip your function bar past my script blocker? And why didn't I notice after only 2 drinks?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at June 18, 2008 11:13 PM (Z3AmO)

150 One more try:

Our brand is not harmed

If we denounce and we vote

Fuck McCain's toadies.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at June 18, 2008 11:32 PM (Z3AmO)

151 Exploring for oil
McMaverick is a dry hole
what a waste of energy

Springtime in the Rockies
Drilling shale is not allowed
Candidates fall hard this Fall


Posted by: budgirl75 at June 18, 2008 11:55 PM (ZyvI4)

152

Open borders in

winter.  Ruin economy.

Fuck conservatives.

    J McC

Posted by: TomJW at June 19, 2008 03:04 AM (xRCpL)

153 This is a test yo
Not a Haiku about me
Shit, I guess it is

Posted by: DrewM at June 19, 2008 01:53 PM (hlYel)

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