Ace of Spades HQ

February 28, 2006

"James Bond" Update: Now Daniel Craig Has Bad Case Of "Prickly Heat"
— Ace

Why didn't they just cast Saul Rosenberg? He could have brought all his glasses. And his shoes.

JINXED James Bond star Daniel Craig ... suffered sunburn while topping up his tan before filming in the Bahamas.
...
A source on the Casino Royale set said: Its driving him mad. He constantly wants to scratch. Its worst when he does a costume change. He is in agony.
He has been moaning to his assistants that hes got prickly heat. He is extremely wary of being outside now. But the nature of filming is such that he is out in the heat all day.

I lost the link now, but it turns out he was also baffled by the manual transmission in the car he was supposed to drive as Bond.

He showed up for Bond film not knowing how to drive a stick. He thought, I guess, that James Bond drove an automatic.

Thanks to Scott.

Posted by: Ace at 05:07 AM | Comments (39)
Post contains 179 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Prickly heat? Sheesh, that's the punch line to a stupid joke that includes toe-berculosis, knee-monia, and hip-atitis.

Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at February 28, 2006 05:13 AM (C31gH)

2 I just posted about this in a thread below...

Couldn't someone have just taken an afternoon and taught Craig how to drive a stick shift? It's hardly rocket science, fer cryin' out loud.

I HAD to learn how to drive one when I was a poor newlywed and we couldn't afford the extra money for an automatic transmission in our Hyundai Excel. It took me all of 3 hours to get it down pat, if even that long.

And Craig is making a LOAD of bucks for this film, but he can't be bothered to learn a little hand-foot coordination. Good grief.

Posted by: bbeck at February 28, 2006 05:15 AM (qF8q3)

3 Instead of selecting a real man to play JAMES BOND they have selected a whimp instead its like having PEE WEE HERMAN playing the part of HE-MAN

Posted by: spurwing plover at February 28, 2006 05:15 AM (g0rz7)

4 "Prickly Heat" starring Edith Prickly, one of SCTV's best movie remakes.

Posted by: Tom M at February 28, 2006 05:28 AM (d6bNm)

5 Double Oh Seven isn't available for this mission.

He has a rash.

Posted by: M at February 28, 2006 05:28 AM (pzen5)

6 "I was lighting firecrackers....like on the 4th of July...and I blew one off in my hand."

"What kind of firecracker was it, sir?"

"Ohh. It's big. Like a toilet paper tube."

"Let me wrap this up and I'll see you with my nub."

-Saul Rosenberg.
Gotta love a Jerky Boys reference.

Posted by: fugazi at February 28, 2006 05:46 AM (kP0Ia)

7 And he previously confessed he doesn’t like guns, while speedboats make him feel queasy.

That part made me laugh

Posted by: scott at February 28, 2006 05:50 AM (wZLWV)

8 I can take a whole rose, stem and all, and shove it right up my. . .

Whoa. Sorry, wrong Jerky Boys reference. My bad.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at February 28, 2006 06:27 AM (y1hCN)

9 This guy is going to be worse than George Lazenby and Timothy Dalton combined.

Posted by: Eric at February 28, 2006 06:27 AM (3f3uN)

10 I would love to see someone like Jason Statham (aka the Transporter or Handsome Rob from the Italian Job). Sure, the guy's not much of an actor, but he is also not the guy who suffers from Prickly heat. May need a hairpiece though.

Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2006 06:27 AM (h76y6)

11 So are the producers trying to cash in on all those fans clamoring for a sequel to Brokeback Mountain?

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at February 28, 2006 06:31 AM (JKlMI)

12 "I would love to see someone like Jason Statham "... I mean as James Bond ... not in a gay sort of way.

Posted by: Tushar D at February 28, 2006 06:33 AM (h76y6)

13 What's next?

"Thtrawberry Daquiri, thaken, not thtirred. AND DON'T FORGET THE UMBRELLA THITH TIME!"

Jesus, maybe they should have just cast MikeMaryGenoJersey if they were were so completely intent on totally gaying up Bond.

Posted by: wiserbud at February 28, 2006 06:48 AM (AQGeh)

14 Ace, here's Tim Blair's take on Daniel Craig as 007, with links to the Craig-can't-drive-a-stick story, the Craig-hates-boats story, the Craig-hates-guns story and the thing about Craig getting punched out by a stuntman on the set of Casino Royale.

Jeez, I know Kiefer Sutherland is busy with "24," including a couple of possible theatrical film spinoffs, but MGM should have considered him for the Bond franchise as well. He isn't any more blonde than Daniel Craig...and Sutherland at least knows how to act like a man. And "Jack Bauer" would absolutely mop the floor with Craig, one-on-one.

For that matter...Kim Bauer could kick the new Bond's ass, never mind Jack.

Posted by: Wes S. at February 28, 2006 06:53 AM (b0sgz)

15 Mike would make a good Bond Boy.

Posted by: scott at February 28, 2006 07:04 AM (wZLWV)

16 What a Crybaby.

Posted by: Retired Geezer at February 28, 2006 07:23 AM (b8LOf)

17 So I guess we'll see the following in the next product-placement extravaganza that is a modern 007 film:

"Bond. Gold Bond."

Posted by: Alex at February 28, 2006 07:49 AM (fgyj8)

18 "Are these people repudible?

Posted by: harrison at February 28, 2006 07:52 AM (H4W5F)

19 Are these people repudible?

No, they were pudded enough the first time.

Posted by: geoff at February 28, 2006 07:59 AM (vpYuK)

20 Anyone who doesn't appreciate Timothy Dalton as Bond has not read Fleming's books. The only portayal save Connery that's not a cartoon. This stiff is threatening to make everyone forget how bad a joke Roger Moore was.

Alex caused me a spit-take.

Posted by: Howard at February 28, 2006 08:00 AM (4c4LR)

21 "Bond. Gold Bond."

and

pudded enough the first time.

This whole thread is going to Reader's Digest just as soon as I get a minute.

Posted by: DDG at February 28, 2006 08:06 AM (4uzEh)

22 It's like an entire thread of spurwing impressions.

Posted by: Bart at February 28, 2006 08:10 AM (TLeaB)

23 And Attilla, i never heard the prickly-heat punchline. i always thought it was tolio, kneesles, and smallcox.

Posted by: Gunslinger at February 28, 2006 08:58 AM (xXekx)

24 Gunslinger, you must have heard the joke from a different high-school gym teacher.

Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at February 28, 2006 09:40 AM (C31gH)

25 I thought George Lazenby was an alright actor. Not suited for Bond perhaps, but he came across as a decent sort. I'm thinking this one will replace George as the least favorite Bond.
I thought "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" didn't look as well done production wise as the Sean Connery pictures. But Diana Rigg. Whoa.

Posted by: David J. at February 28, 2006 11:28 AM (7Cm9A)

26 Isn't this the bed-wetter who's scared of firearms?

Posted by: rightwingprof at February 28, 2006 11:35 AM (hj1Wx)

27 So instead of martinis, I suppose Bond will now be drinking Grey Goose and cranberry. Because the cranberry juice is really healthy for his vagina.

Sheesh. The Bond franchise jumped the shark sometime around "Moonraker."

Posted by: Alex at February 28, 2006 12:24 PM (fgyj8)

28 Worst. Bond. Ever.

Posted by: Don Carne at February 28, 2006 01:25 PM (RJDcF)

29 Dalton was just too humorless, and worse, he didn't even know how to use a woman.
Lazenby got Diana Rigg damnit!
Even David Niven was a better Bond.

Posted by: Iblis at February 28, 2006 01:56 PM (9221z)

30 Well what the fuck is this guy good at. All Bonds were their own men, and brought something different to the party. Not all were good, mind you, but WTF. Hey nancyman, act, yes act, like a fucking man. Hang out in a gym(not the shower part), go to a working mans bar or spend a day @ Ranger school. You can't shine shit. So, if its' not too hot, and he can get a ride to the dock, and has dramamine, he can do what to the villians?????

Posted by: hutch1200 at February 28, 2006 04:27 PM (nXmrG)

31 Ponce. James Ponce.

Boycott. Bond Boycott.

Posted by: at February 28, 2006 11:23 PM (++PlU)

32 Why did,nt they get a better person to play JAMES BOND rather then this whimp

Posted by: spurwing plover at March 01, 2006 05:27 AM (/4Knp)

33 Any Roger Moore Bond movie that I happen to see makes me nauseous. I won't bother wasting my money this time around.

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Actor Daniel Craig has shacked up with Sienna Miller and Kate Moss, and soon the paying public will get to see his goods too. The smart female CEO of the series has realized that only graphic sex scenes can save this PR disaster:testking 70-620

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