Ace of Spades HQ

November 18, 2009

Iran...Have We Got A Deal For You!
— DrewM

You know, you really have to hand it to the Mullahs. For a bunch of Jew haters, they really have some chutzpah.

First, they say "maybe we'll send our low grade nuclear fuel out of the country in exchange for fuel that can't be weaponized. Then, they say "nah, we don't want to do that".

Now they come back with a new offer and it's quite the deal.

Iran ruled out on Wednesday sending enriched uranium abroad for further processing, but would consider swapping it for nuclear fuel provided it remained under supervision inside the country, the ISNA news agency said.
The decision is expected to anger the United States and its allies, which had called on Iran to accept a deal which aimed to delay Tehran's potential ability to make bombs by at least a year by divesting Iran of most of its enriched uranium.
..."Surely we will not send our 3.5 percent fuel abroad but can review swapping it simultaneously with nuclear fuel inside Iran," Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki told the ISNA students' news agency.
The United States has rejected Iranian calls for amendments and further talks on the deal. President Barack Obama said time was running out for diplomacy to resolve a long standoff over Iran's nuclear program.

Wait, we get to give you new fuel and you get to keep the old stuff that might be used to make weapons? Where do we sign up for this deal?

Actually, maybe this is a stupid idea on the part of the Mullahs. Right now the "West" under the "leadership" of Obama is pretty much willing to give them a bomb at this point, so why not just sit quietly and let Obama bid against himself?

Of course the only real way to avert a crisis is for Obama to keep is campaign pledge to meet with Ahmadinejad and bow to him (or whatever the equivalent Persian gesture is). Once he's awed by Obama's ~~weakness~~ cultural sensitivity, surely he will forswear his country's nuclear ambitions.

Below the fold, a visual representation of Iran's strategy for dealing with Obama.

I think I saw that gag at Hot Air first. Sorry, I don't actually remember.

Posted by: DrewM at 10:57 AM | Comments (113)
Post contains 381 words, total size 3 kb.

1 How long after Iran has the bomb, does Israel begin to glow at night?

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 10:59 AM (erIg9)

2 That line once convinced me to buy a Persian carpet. It might work.

Posted by: moron # 32514214 at November 18, 2009 10:59 AM (p1s9n)

3 Lets just give them half of our nuclear stockpile so they won't feel threatened anymore. Then we can really negotiate and deal with this situation once and for all.

Posted by: gau at November 18, 2009 11:01 AM (n1uMU)

4 In the interest of nuclear safety, I propose we hand over not just plans for missile delivery systems, but proven, complete launch vehicles, with functional MIRVS attached.

Wouldn't want some untested, substandard missile accidentally hitting one of their muslim brothers on the way to Jerusalem.

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 11:05 AM (erIg9)

Posted by: I'm Ergie! Who Are You? at November 18, 2009 11:05 AM (RdKK8)

This Iranian shell-game reminds me of that South Park episode (Scott Tenorman Must Die) where Cartman tries to get back his $10 from Scott Tenorman and he ends up losing an additional $6.12.

Unfortunately, Obama is no Eric Cartman.

/The end of this episode was legendary!

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 18, 2009 11:06 AM (9hSKh)

Posted by: Mordechai Vanunu at November 18, 2009 04:05 PM (RdKK

When these guys get done with you, I wanna be able to see my fucking face reflecting in the toes of those shoes, boy.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at November 18, 2009 11:08 AM (5aa4z)

Once again, Erg comes here and completely shows it's lack of intellegence.

"Israel is ruled by as much or more desperately marginalized loons."

You lie. Proof? Who's the Ahmedinejad of Israel, then?

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at November 18, 2009 11:08 AM (9hSKh)

9 erg, you're fucking wrong, and you don't even know why you're fucking wrong.

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 11:10 AM (erIg9)

10 The most dangerous country in the ME is by far Israel.

Posted by: Mordechai Vanunu at November 18, 2009 04:05 PM (RdKK

Dangerous to the arabs. I can not only live with that, I support it.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 11:11 AM (dQdrY)

11 Erg still hasn't answered questions from yesterday's healthcare thread. Such trolling is nothing but empty clownery.

Posted by: nickless at November 18, 2009 11:11 AM (MMC8r)

12 If Israel was the most dangerous country in the ME every Muslim country Israel could reach would be in ruins. Because they could do it, if they wanted.

Posted by: gau at November 18, 2009 11:12 AM (n1uMU)

13 11 Erg still hasn't answered questions from yesterday's healthcare thread. Such trolling is nothing but empty clownery.

Posted by: nickless at November 18, 2009 04:11 PM (MMC8r)

empty head, empty clownery.

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 11:12 AM (erIg9)

14 Actually, I support the idea of shipping high-grade nuclear fuel to Iran. What would be the best type of re-entry vehicle to deliver it with, if the goal was an airburst at about 800 feet altitude?

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 18, 2009 11:12 AM (Jdtsu)

15 Who is this ERG person you guys are always ripping??

Posted by: dananjcon at November 18, 2009 11:14 AM (pr+up)

16 Lets face it. . .Obama simply isn't serious about preventing Iran from having nuclear weapons.

He can't get sanctions in place. . .that's not working. . .just as it hasn't been working for years, and there is absolutely no evidence that he's going to be able to get that to work.

All that's left is the military options.

Even assuming Obama were willing to implement a military solution, if he can't get his act together on an Afghanistan strategy, how the hell is he going to pull of an attack on Iran?

Answer. . .he ain't.

So barring an Israeli attack, "Death to America" Iran *WILL* have nukes during Obama's tenure in office.

Posted by: looking closely at November 18, 2009 11:14 AM (PwGfd)

17 Rats--the Farsi characters did not come through--it was long.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 18, 2009 11:14 AM (B+qrE)

18 Yo Israel, don't taze me bro!

Posted by: Egypt at November 18, 2009 11:15 AM (erIg9)

19 Boy these I ran guys are really good salesmen. Perhaps I should enlist them to help sell the Chevy Volt.

Posted by: Obama at November 18, 2009 11:16 AM (Q1lie)

20 The "apartheid state" of Israel is the only middle eastern nation which, for example, tolerates gay pride parades, and it is also the one middle eastern nation that non-Jewish liberals genuinely hate. I mean, they hate Israel with a deep passion. It's freaky.

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Posted by: dananjcon at November 18, 2009 11:16 AM (pr+up)

What would be the best type of re-entry vehicle to deliver it with, if the goal was an airburst at about 800 feet altitude?

Several options there. My favorite would be the sea-launched Tomahawk.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 18, 2009 11:17 AM (B+qrE)

23 22

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Posted by: dananjcon at November 18, 2009 04:16 PM (pr+up)

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Posted by: Dudes on 42nd st at November 18, 2009 11:17 AM (erIg9)

24
It's all about making sure the mullahs have the bomb for Wee Wee. How else can he assure all of those JOOOOOOOOS in Israel get destroyed? Can't do it himself.

Posted by: Dang Straights at November 18, 2009 11:18 AM (Haq+B)

24 exactly!

thats some funny shit right there.

Posted by: dananjcon at November 18, 2009 11:19 AM (pr+up)

26 Why doesn't Israel have long range missles?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 11:21 AM (dQdrY)

27
Good transmission of Farsi characters requires a powerful new Laptop-Battery.

Laptop battery guy is sublime. And topical.

Posted by: Dang Straights at November 18, 2009 11:22 AM (Haq+B)

28 Don't worry Bowing Barry will save this deal!
The power and humbleness of a deep, well executed bow can not be resisted.

Posted by: Bowing Barry Obama at November 18, 2009 11:22 AM (Q1lie)

29 29 Why doesn't Israel have long range missles?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 04:21 PM (dQdrY)

Ummmmm, Gaza just ain't that far away?

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 11:23 AM (erIg9)

30 Just remember everyone: when Iran gets (and uses) the bomb, it'll be the fault of FOX News.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 18, 2009 11:24 AM (6yEzu)

31 Don Regan had these goat-smelling savages pegged years ago

Posted by: Jones at November 18, 2009 11:25 AM (KOkrW)

32 Erg, Meet AOSHQ Eraser. Mr. Eraser, meet erg

Posted by: Miss Manners at November 18, 2009 11:25 AM (V9SYy)

33 33 Just remember everyone: when Iran gets (and uses) the bomb, it'll be the fault of FOX News, the Juice, and Boooooosh.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 18, 2009 04:24 PM (6yEzu)

FIFY

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Wicked High Temps in the Core of the Earth at November 18, 2009 11:25 AM (erIg9)

The decision is expected to anger the United States and its allies, which had called on Iran to accept a deal which aimed to delay Tehran's potential ability to make bombs by at least a year by divesting Iran of most of its enriched uranium.

Gosh, I'm sure the mullahs are just shaking in their slippers as they anticipate receiving a strongly worded letter from Obambi.

Posted by: runningrn at November 18, 2009 11:26 AM (qP2BK)

President Barack Obama said time was running out for diplomacy to resolve a long standoff over Iran's nuclear program.

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Oh my, that's just precious.

oooOOOOooooooo....look at the big tough Bambi gittin' all big an' tough an' shit.

Posted by: Dick Wolf at November 18, 2009 11:28 AM (pzIgw)

36 Throw in a glass cat and its a deal

Posted by: Barack Obama at November 18, 2009 11:29 AM (cBeTr)

37 NELSON CAVES: http://www.omaha.com/article/20091118/NEWS01/911189974 Email the motherfucker now.

Posted by: Shawn at November 18, 2009 11:29 AM (cw8fk)

38 Proskynesis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proskynesis

Posted by: tommylotto at November 18, 2009 11:29 AM (oHIHU)

39 sockpuppet be gone.

Posted by: wiserbud at November 18, 2009 11:33 AM (pzIgw)

Why doesn't Israel have long range missles?

They do. The Jericho II.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at November 18, 2009 11:33 AM (B+qrE)

41 erg, you have been erased!

Posted by: Ah-hold at November 18, 2009 11:33 AM (V9SYy)

42 Oooooh, looks like Erg couldn't stay away. Does this mean we find out exactly where the little pimple works? The Greater Iran Revolutionary Uranium Enrichment Board (For Peaceful Purposes Only)?

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at November 18, 2009 11:34 AM (ERJIu)

The French do have a standoff nuclear cruise missile in service, the Aerospatiale "Air-Sol Moyenne Portee (ASMP)". It was originally carried by the Mirage IV bomber, but is now carried by the Mirage 2000N strike fighter.

I'd be willing to bet the fine israeli engineers could adapt that.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 11:35 AM (dQdrY)

44 29 Why doesn't Israel have long range missles?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 04:21 PM (dQdrY)

As of 2008, they do. The Jericho III went into service in 2008. It's estimated to have a range of 2,982 to 7,180 miles and can carry multiple nuclear warheads.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at November 18, 2009 11:36 AM (kn+jW)

45 Has the First Perpendicular President ever bent down to cock-high on Ahmedinejad? That's how he seals these deals.

Posted by: t-bird at November 18, 2009 11:36 AM (FcR7P)

46 If Isreal is so dangerous, how come every peace talk with Isreal, the Palestinians insist upon a right of return to Isreal. Do they have a secret death wish? More importantly, do the writers of Law and Order know this. I am sure there is a good (well, o.k., something better than a steaming pile of dog shit) script in there.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 18, 2009 11:38 AM (V9SYy)

Obama playbook on Iran:

1. Extend hand of friendship,

2. ????????????????????

3. Iran is nuclear free!

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 18, 2009 11:39 AM (V9SYy)

48 So why all the talk about Israel having to use planes to hit Iran? Just nuke the bastards and be done with it.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 11:39 AM (dQdrY)

Scenario: Obama goes to Iran for purposes of diplomacy 'n shizzle. The mullahs take him hostage. Me, I'd be conflicted between outrage that any president of the United States, no matter how feeble, could be treated like that by anybody, and laughing myself into a near-coma.

After all, if we gave them 500 billion to keep him, we'd almost certainly be getting off cheap!

Posted by: Sort-of-Mad Max at November 18, 2009 11:40 AM (ERJIu)

50 With the quickening pace of news items like this from Russia, China, and Iran, do you think they've decided there's only one more year to rob the candy store?

Posted by: t-bird at November 18, 2009 11:40 AM (FcR7P)

51 51 So why all the talk about Israel having to use planes to hit Iran? Just nuke the bastards and be done with it.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 18, 2009 04:39 PM (dQdrY)

I agree. Here's an interesting article from Infidels are Cool.

Israel may use new Jericho III ballistic missiles against Iran

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at November 18, 2009 11:42 AM (kn+jW)

52 I recall seeing something on the "deal" that they were supposed to get back fuel from the Russians that was about 21% enriched.

No commercial grade reactor that I ever heard of uses 21% enriched fuel.

Posted by: Vic at November 18, 2009 11:43 AM (CDUiN)

53 Ahmadinejad. He says, "we want to talk with the United States." He thinks, "plundering this dusky man's ass will be sublime."

Posted by: railwriter at November 18, 2009 11:44 AM (daRzV)

54 Look. You infidels don't know what it's like for us 1.5 billion Muslims to be constantly harassed and bullied by those 12 million Joooooos. We NEED nukes to protect ourselves from the sneaky, covetous Joooos.

Posted by: The Muzzies at November 18, 2009 11:48 AM (fstYb)

55 What do you want to bet I can negotiate Barack into letting me give him a facial?

Posted by: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at November 18, 2009 11:50 AM (fstYb)

56 Just how long is "time is running out"?

Posted by: GarandFan at November 18, 2009 11:56 AM (ZQBnQ)

57 Laptop battery guy is sublime. And topical.

Guy cracks me up.

Posted by: Barbarian at November 18, 2009 12:58 PM (EL+OC)

At one point, Bibi announced that Israel would strike Iran by Christmas unless Iran was heavily sanctioned. Shortly thereafter, Russia said "no way" and then the story seemed to die.

Any updates on this? Or is this the update?

Posted by: Alex's Cabin at November 18, 2009 01:10 PM (AYWcM)

59 Its all part of my nuclear non-proliferation plan. What could go wrong?

Posted by: I am Obama at November 18, 2009 01:47 PM (wAQA5)

President Barack Obama said time was running out for diplomacy to resolve a long standoff over Iran's nuclear program.

Yeah, he will only give them 60 more months to make up their minds.

Posted by: mikeyslaw at November 18, 2009 01:52 PM (QMGr1)

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101 อ่านนารูโตะ Naruto 571 อ่านบลีช Bleach 480 อ่านวันพีช One Piece 654 อ่านรีบอร์น Reborn 369

Posted by: คําพูดโดนๆ at January 22, 2012 09:51 PM (ZUGtt)

102 คําคมสอนใจ คําคมอกหัก คําคมเด็ดๆ คําคม คําคมอกหัก

Posted by: คําพูดโดนๆ at January 25, 2012 02:55 AM (xA1c1)

103 เลขเด็ดวันนี้ทํานายฝัน คําคมแรงๆ คําคม คําคมโดนๆ คําคมกวนๆ คําคมความรัก ทํานายฝันเลขเด็ด

Posted by: คําพูดโดนๆ at January 27, 2012 12:56 PM (L0M88)

104 ดูดวงรายวัน คําคมความรัก ทํานายเนื้อคู่คําคมเด็ดๆ คําคมโดนใจ

Posted by: คําพูดโดนๆ at February 02, 2012 02:15 PM (525qI)

105 อักษรพิเศษ กรอบรูปน่ารัก สถานะเฟส รูปเค้กวันเกิด ราคาทองคําวันนี้