Ace of Spades HQ

December 30, 2006

Indian Chess Player Busted For Using Hidden Bluetooth To Receive Computer-Calculated Moves
— Ace

Ten year suspension for egregious cheating.

Reuters notes this means he won't face justice for any other violations he would have committed had he been playing for the next ten years, rather than being suspended.

The world mourns.

Posted by: Ace at 11:38 AM | Comments (53)
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

1 To put this in perspective, it's a longer-term punishment than Sandy Berger got.

Posted by: JayC at December 30, 2006 11:40 AM (G7SJG)

2 Obviously, this has been staged to distract us from what is really important; cloaked USAF hoverdroids brought down the WTC!

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2006 11:45 AM (FWrFx)

3 I always say, if you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 30, 2006 12:04 PM (hNyWr)

4 This thread won't be any fun unless we can pick on Tushar.

There was a story on Drudge the other day about some protsitute in Britain that estimates she has had 100,000 sexual partners.

That would make for an interesting post if only for the mathematical analysis.

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 12:07 PM (omkIU)

One Night in Bangkok.

Posted by: harrison at December 30, 2006 12:48 PM (mMWvI)

6 ace,

Was that really the pin-up calendar gal that commented on that thread below??

If that's not a joke you should post another picture of her along with her comment.

She's smoking hot on fire like the sun. Oh yeah, and it's a good cause.

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 12:52 PM (omkIU)

7 Rosetta, you some kinda lesbian? Or what?

Posted by: harrison at December 30, 2006 01:10 PM (mMWvI)

8 Donde esto el Wickedpinto?

Esta en la Habana?

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2006 01:15 PM (FWrFx)

9 I'm whatever the pin-up calendar girl is into.

Lesbian. Gay midget. Whatever.

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 01:16 PM (omkIU)

10 >>This thread won't be any fun unless we can pick on Tushar.

Yeah yeah yeah. I am here, Rosetta. Take your best shot.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:16 PM (9ULFg)

11 Football Pool Reminder -- There is a game on tonight at 8p.

NY Giant Losers vs Washington Under Achievers.

Take the Giants. It's a lock!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Eli will complete 52% of his passes, throw 2TDs, and 2 INTs.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:21 PM (1qs6r)

12 I would never pick on you, Tushar. I was just making a joke. Botched joke.

Do you know the guy in the story?

I figured you're both from India so you might know him.

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 01:22 PM (omkIU)

13 WP needs to rest.

And so do we.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:24 PM (1qs6r)

14 Didn't you work with him at the call center?

Posted by: John F Not Kerry at December 30, 2006 01:26 PM (iNJNO)

15 >>
I figured you're both from India so you might know him.

This reminds me of something funny. When I visit India, someone will always say, "My nephew is also in America. He lives in San Diego. His name is something ortheother. Do you know him?"

US IS THRICE THE SIZE OF INDIA!!! It is not an apartment complex.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:30 PM (9ULFg)

16 >>Didn't you work with him at the call center?

I did. But they threw me out because apparently, the US based customers won't stop laughing after listening to my Apu accent.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:33 PM (9ULFg)

17 I went to school with a kid named Mayur.

Nobody pronounced his name proplerly. We called him My-Oooo.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:34 PM (1qs6r)

Lesbian. Gay midget. Whatever.

Word.

Posted by: harrison at December 30, 2006 01:35 PM (mMWvI)

19 And we had another one, too, called Shalis.

We called him Shoelace.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:36 PM (1qs6r)

Tushar, I got the same question in Holland.

My cousin Rosetta is in New York. Do you know her?

Rosetta? Sure, I know her. Hooker. Times Square.

Posted by: cranky at December 30, 2006 01:37 PM (Xj2Ev)

21 That's hilarious.

I went to college at Mizzou which has like 22,000 students. When I was back home people used to ask me the same question.

"Hey do you know so and so."

I always wanted to tell them how dumb that was.

So seriously, do you know the chess guy?

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 01:37 PM (omkIU)

22 Tushar D,

Say "Mountain Dew for two dollars forty nine cents when you buy five Slims Jims."

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2006 01:38 PM (FWrFx)

23 Shalis? Thats not a name. His name must be Shailesh.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:39 PM (9ULFg)

24 eman, I just said that. Sorry you could not hear that. I can only comment in text format, not in avi format.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:42 PM (9ULFg)

25 Yes, that's it.

Shailesh ---> Shalis --->Shoelace

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:43 PM (1qs6r)

26 Mayoo was very fat. He wore cowboy boots.

Our first day of gym class, Mayoo didn't bring his sneakers. So he changed into his t-shirt and shorts and walked out onto the gym floor in his boots.

Like I mentioned earlier, he was a fat kid. But he had skinny legs. One kid said, "Mayooo looks like Timer."

Who's Timer, you ask?

Time for Timer!

(They used to show these little educational cartoons between cartoon shows, back in the 70's and early '80s)

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:52 PM (1qs6r)

27 Also, Schoolhouse Rock.

This is how kids like Mrs Peel learned her grammar so well.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 01:55 PM (1qs6r)

28 Bart, you're really Mayoo in that story aren't you?

That's okay. You'll find a place where you fit in....SOME DAY.

Posted by: Rosetta at December 30, 2006 01:57 PM (omkIU)

29 Bart, let me guess. This Mayur fellow had a last name Patel or Shah. He must be from India's Gujarat province. His father either owned a medical practise, a motel or a gas station.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 01:59 PM (9ULFg)

30 Shoelace's surname was Patel. Mayur's last name was Ghandi, like the guy, whatshisname, the skinny bald guy.

I'm not sure about the occupation of his parents, but he spoke good English. Shoelace, on the other hand, spoke lousy English. Mayur and Shoelace did not know each other, and they did not like each other. We thought that was strange.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 02:04 PM (1qs6r)

31 Ok, both from Gujarat. Mayur's father must be a doctor. Shailesh's father owned a business. Shailesh may not know English well, but he must be worth a few millions by now. Ofcourse you would never know by looking at him. Mayur, on the other hand, must be a successful but obscure doctor somewhere. If you could track these guys down, you will be surprised at how accurate I am.

BTW, it is Gandhi, not Ghandi.
**Beats head against a pillar**

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 02:14 PM (9ULFg)

32 One time I went for an interview in New York, at the offices of American Express, at the World Trade Center, actually. I had gotten the job listing from a NYC university listing board. No connection whatsoever to my home town.

Anyway, there I am, in the interview, the woman interviewing me looks at my resume and notices that I'm from Texas.

"Texas, huh? Do you know _________?"

"That would be my sister."

Posted by: Phinn at December 30, 2006 02:17 PM (sapeO)

33 Yeah, Ghandi, that's what I said.

Yeah, they didn't wear nice clothes -- they looked secondhand. Maybe Mayur's dad was a doctor...in India. Which means he was probably a cab driver in America.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 02:18 PM (1qs6r)

34 >>Maybe Mayur's dad was a doctor...in India. Which means he was probably a cab driver in America.

Bart, you know nothing. These hardworking people come to US with nothing except the clothes they are wearing, and within a decade or so, become fabulously rich. You will never know from their clothes, cars or homes. But these guys can probably finance a lunar expedition.

Go to NYC and count how many Indian cab drivers you see. Not many. They all own fleets of taxis now, and hire Pakistanis and Somalis to drive them.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 02:24 PM (9ULFg)

35 What calender girl?

How in the hell did I miss that?

Where's my bhagyam?

Posted by: mesablue at December 30, 2006 02:28 PM (DzeyU)

36 They all own fleets of taxis now, and hire Pakistanis and Somalis to drive them.

Fuck Yeah! That's what I like to hear.
That there is the American way.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 02:28 PM (1qs6r)

37 For a person who wants no handouts, and wants to get ahead in life solely on his own merit and enterprise, there is no place like America.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 02:31 PM (9ULFg)

38 within a decade or so, become fabulously rich.

No shit, my father used to sell franchises for Dunkin Donuts and McDonald's. Indian families would pool their resources and end up with several stores after years of hard work. They would then buy up entire neighborhoods of really nice homes and then never take care of their yards. Never got that part.

Posted by: mesablue at December 30, 2006 02:33 PM (DzeyU)

39 I always say, if you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin.I thought it was that it ain't really cheatin if she reminds me of you.

Posted by: Jake at December 30, 2006 02:50 PM (VX1p+)

40 They would then buy up entire neighborhoods of really nice homes and then never take care of their yards. Never got that part.

They have no grass, and thus no yardmen, in India.

Strange, but true.

Posted by: Phinn at December 30, 2006 03:48 PM (sapeO)

41 never take care of their yards

They're too afraid of snakes to do yardwork.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 03:51 PM (PuwkN)

42 Bart, you are right. And Phinn, you are almost right.
We Indians are lazyasses when it comes to physical work.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 03:59 PM (9ULFg)

43 I once saw an Indian (who happened to be a physician) go after a snake with a spade shovel.

We were standing in his yard when he saw the snake. He grabbed a shovel and used it like a machetti, chopping it in two pieces. From that day forward, I learned that Indian Hate Snakes. (But they love cows).

I dig that.

Posted by: Bart at December 30, 2006 04:12 PM (PuwkN)

44 Imagine the horror of a PC liberal reading this thread. I'm picturing a Scanners-like head explosion.

Posted by: John F Not Kerry at December 30, 2006 04:30 PM (iNJNO)

45 So Indiaphiles, tell us - is GWB's rapprochement* with India gonna make us longtime buds? Cause if it does, Rosie's ching-chong folks will have their panties knotted, no? But us democrats gotta stick together!

Shit, I meant "democracies"! I hate that - they should be made to change their name to the Dick-headic Party. Truth in Advertising is our friend.

*like after a long fight, when you do kissy-kissy, feely-feely, and then maybe that leads to actual sucky-sucky, fucky-fucky. You knew that.

Posted by: sherlock at December 30, 2006 04:34 PM (vJAe5)

46 Bart, you are right. And Phinn, you are almost right.

Really? I was just making shit up. What a strange world we live in.

Posted by: Phinn at December 30, 2006 04:37 PM (sapeO)

47 Phinn, I said you were almost right.
You needed to change just 10 words. These ten:

"
They have no grass, and thus no yardmen, in India.
"

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 05:35 PM (9ULFg)

48 Sherlock, India's former Prime Minister called US and India natural allies. We should have been friends from da one, when India got it's independence in 1947, but the cold war blew in. US found short term benefit in chumming up with Pakistan, and India drifted towards USSR. We can put the past behind us now. We have a common enemy: Islamists. And we have a common threat: China.

Posted by: Tushar D at December 30, 2006 05:39 PM (9ULFg)

49 HANG THE FUCKER

Posted by: The bloodthirsty mob at December 30, 2006 05:39 PM (kKjaJ)

50 hang everyone, that settles the issue.

Posted by: sandman arriveth at December 30, 2006 07:54 PM (A+E39)

51 This is moderately interesting, but it is nothing more than an example of the fact that world class competitors will try to do just about anything to get a leg up on their opposition. The recent examples about steroid use in baseball, and the controversy over Floyd Landis (was his putative Tour de France win ever revoked?) are just a few recent examples.

Let's get something--uh--straight. If one presumes that world class competitors will try to do just about anything to get a leg up on their opposition, one won't be disappointed to find out that they have. Better living through chemistry. Or, in this case, electronics.

Maybe next they'll be holding chess championships in shielded rooms.

Posted by: raj at December 31, 2006 09:46 AM (5FAjC)

52 First, chess had 'roids, now Bluetooth. I think we need a Congressional investigation.

Posted by: Steve L. at December 31, 2006 11:20 AM (v3s6d)

53 And BOBBY FICSHER is stilla arogant litle snot who needs a god kick in the butt

Posted by: spurwing plover at January 01, 2007 12:34 PM (oN6hw)

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