I've never actually looked at online dating sites. Well, just once, to make fun of my sister's ex-husband.

Dear Miss Lucas,

If I have the words 'The Day' tattooed on my penis, is it then okay to headline my online dating ad "Carpe Diem"? 

thanks in advance,

-

I like the way in #7 she uses about every tired cliche in the book to say Don't Be Hackneyed.

"Dude. That is the most hackneyed thing you could possibly say. We're OVER it. Great movie, nice concept, but Jesus H. Christ. Just do not say it."

For Rachel to get on guys for being hackneyed is like the pot calling the kettle black. I mean, c'mon woman, mote, beam, you know?

Laura,

Yes, cliche's do have a usage and it typically is because they have a seed of truth to them.  But consider the context, or say, venue here.  You have the entire english language to construct something descriptive of yourself and who you are...and instead use well-worn phrases that let the reader know actually <i>very little</i> about yourself.

Now, you may call, using a cliche of all things to describe yourself when asked "just being <b>real</b>" ...but more people will tend to find it unoriginal and boring.

I'm not offended by the use of cliches, but I do have to agree with Rachel here that they are entirely useless and sometimes laughable when used on a dating service to describe yourself to a complete stranger, amongst maybe hundreds of thousands of others that are trying to do the same.

oh, i see my manual html tags worked a charm.  /snark

OK Heralder; but most people are not wordsmiths in any sense.

A lot of folks really talk like that, and have no idea what to say to differentiate themselves. It's rotten to laugh at them.

Look, let's face it: "online dating profile" is a fancy way of saying "used person ad."  Cliches are useful in that context because as a type of shorthand, they save space and time.  Think of it as the human equivalent of "3BR 2BA split-level in beautiful neighborhood with good schools, w/w, central a/c, FP, WIC, and 2 car gar."

Laura,

Of course not...but you certainly don't need to be a professional novelist to write a sentence about yourself that isn't just taken from someone else.  If someone really is terrible with words, it makes one question as to why they're marketing themselves through an online dating service where that is the primary medium.  Being original isn't easy and most of the time it's nigh impossible, but I think the effort is intrinsically important, especially, as i said, given the venue.

As far as laughing at them being rotten:  Well, let's just say if you've ever had the chance to do online dating, you get over those sentiments real quick.

So glad I'm married.

Now when I first read this I thought it was written by Ace so I wanted to ask about where marrying trannies was legal.  Yet then I finally noticed the "LauraW" so I don't really know what to say.  Of course it did start out good with her calling Lucas a bitch so this does raise the possibility of a very entertaining cat-fight.  Mud.  We need a pool of mud and skimpy bikinis to complete this.

Laura,

Who you calling touchy!?

Oh, ... nevermind.

OK, good to know.  I just updated my AdultFriendFinder page to read:

"Single (no kids), D/D free, wealthy, self-employed, huge-cocked money tree seeks fine dining and snuggling with anyone over 21.  Looks unimportant, but safe sex (if we ever get that far!) is a must."

So ... what say you ladies now?

Sassy, and delightful.  Mirthy, with just a hint of original thought.

In case I ever need one, I'm going with this.

Sassy, and delightful.  Mirthy, with just a hint of original thought.

In case I ever need one, I'm going with this.

So you've decided to advertise on the femme side of the gay online personals, eh?  If you can work in the words "fierce" or "fabulous" somewhere in there you are practically guaranteed a hundred or so dates.  Of course many might be a tad on the beefy, hairy side...

I didn't even know that Rachel was blogging again. (Thanks for leeting me know, geoff). Anyway, Rachel is cool and she's probably right.

Oh, you have a blog?

Nevermind. You'll probably quit it as soon I start visiting.

Carpe Dave in Texas

I like that one too.

Fit, professional male, washes ass twice daily.

Snuggy huggybear with an edge.

SWM, 36, likes walks on the beach and cuddling with artificial vagina.

Zany, wacky jihadist seeks fun-loving mate for mutual Jew-Pig hatred.

oopsie. forgot to change my name back

Just as comfortable in a ball cap or up to my arms in bloody pig innards.

Likes long walks on the beach with legless hobos.

Bukkake fan seeks good Christian woman to turn the other cheek.

#5 Bumperstickerist:

If I have the words 'The Day' tattooed on my penis, is it then okay to headline my online dating ad "Carpe Diem"? 

Have the tatoo artist use 4pt type to avoid word wrap. Carpe Diem, indeed.

----------

LauraW:

I don't know why her post rubbed me the wrong way, exactly. It just seemed unnecessarily critical of people who are just being real.

Since there are no snarky posts on this site, what's the problem? She takes a shot at both men and women and the idiotic crap they write for dating services. Anyone using these services is likely to wind up with Charlie Manson or Squeaky From. She is making fun of generalities that are real boring.

--------------

#18 Geoff:

I do think, though, that to be completely fair Ms. Lucas should have included her personal ad in the post.

I think you would be absolutely right had she posted and indentified anyone's personal ad, which she scrupulously does not. She writes well and could have done an incredibly vicious hatchet job on someone.

---------------

I detect a lot of thin skins here. For Rachel to have singled anyone out would have been shitty. What she did is really funny.

You'd look crappy in a skimpy bikini, John...

Well I wasn't talking about me in a bikini, I do have some good taste after all, but LauraW vs. Lucas. 

Hmmm... I think it would be difficult to write a personal ad. I just tried to think of what I would write. Not easy. (and NO, I don't need any of you to write on for me...thankyouverymuch)

My daughter's boyfriend's best friend just became engaged. He's 23 and they met on e-harmony. They lived close to each other and even knew some of the same people and had the same interests, but just never met.

I can tell you this. If I was dating, I would get an intensive background check on every one I went out with. If it looked serious, I would talk to ex-wives and girlfriends ect.

Cuz I'm paranoid that way.

Rachel Lucas was a blogging pioneer!

If it weren't for RACHEL LUCUS, I would never have found Ace of Spades HQ.

Remember the little self-descriptive slogan she had? I think it was three p's.

Piquance was one of the p's. What were the other two, anyone know?

One of them was 'Ordnance,' bartwing plover.

And any number of asshats&trade; would write to her that she was a dunce because she mispelled 'ordinance.'

Good times.

ORDNANCE!

Thank you, lawrawing plover.

Wait.

So did all three words end in -ance?

petulance?

persistence?

Slightly OT but related to #48:  I found Ace from Rathergate.com, back in the day.  Ace was the second place I visited daily, and arrived from the link on the right side of the page.

I've given up on dating services, but a buddy of mine found a soulmate through e-harmony.

impudence

thanks, GEOFF.

Well, I've tried online dating and let me just say this. Every. Single. Woman. LOVES. to travel.

All of them.

To say that reading about that at this point is boring/depressing/uninteresting is a dramatic understatment.

I've read so many "I'm the girl next door" and "just as comfortable in a ball cap as an evening gown" I can't even say.

Also, the women just love to show up 30-50 lbs heavier than their photos.

Which may or may not have been them in the first place.

Still, those sites are cash cows.