Ace of Spades HQ

May 31, 2006

Important Carson Palmer Cornhole Classic Update
— Ace

Ummm... fish tacos will be provided for free.

Though, you know, I thought the main attraction was cornhole, no?

What the hell is going on? Palmer. Cornhole. Ed Cox, who works at Dick's Sporting Goods. Fish tacos, from a restaurant called Wahoo's.

Are Ohioans this filthy, or this cluelessly innocent?

It's... like they're not even trying to hide it. They're just putting it right out there.

I think I'd rather drop my kid off for a two week slumber party with Michael Jackson.

At least with Michael Jackson, you could sue and maybe get 15 million bucks out of it.

But Carson Palmer and his gang of NFL sex-fiends have constructed a perfect legal defense: We informed parents expressly what was gonna be goin' down right in our promotional materials.

A judge would just look at these and dismiss the case. "Verdict in favor of the defendant," he would say. "It says right here you were enrolling your kid in a Cornhole Tournament. So what are you complaining about? Your whole case just seems to be sour grapes that your kid wasn't pretty enough to make it to the 'Lightning Round.' "

Thanks to Pupster.

Even Worse: I usually don't post funny sign pics, because I think a lot of the time they're photoshopped, but then, I am simply hearing too much about the widespread acceptance of cornholing in the Heartland to dismiss this out of hand.

That's from Tres. I kinda don't believe it, Tres. I keep seeing it called "cornhole," not "cornholing." But-- still funny.

Even if you are a dirty liar.

Posted by: Ace at 05:05 PM | Comments (23)
Post contains 276 words, total size 2 kb.

1 If you don't like the fish tacos, sack lunches will also be available.

Posted by: caspera at May 31, 2006 05:10 PM (jylGY)

2 I was 17 at "the blueberry festival" and there was "HOT WET BURRITOES!" being advertised. The point is that we had a large hispanic community, and the idea is that they were gonna serve "Dipped sandwiches" only in buritoe form.

And I and my friends spent the rest of the time laughing while viewing beautiful classic cars.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at May 31, 2006 05:29 PM (QTv8u)

3 Ace,
While traveling thru PA. I stopped at a chain restaurant/bar called Quaker Steak and Lube . They advertised cornholing every wed 7-1

Posted by: Tres at May 31, 2006 05:43 PM (wKh5O)

4 > Are Ohioans this filthy, or this cluelessly innocent?

Yes, and yes, respectively. Cincy has their cornholes and three-way, Cleveland has the Golden Cowbell and that dude who wants to build the palatial bathhouse. Don't even get me started on Columbus.

Posted by: Guy T. at May 31, 2006 06:01 PM (GpIR0)

5 Could someone tell me what this "cornhole" is?

Frankly, I'm afraid to google it.

Posted by: right at May 31, 2006 07:45 PM (oy61H)

6 Cornhole's a pretty popular game in the Ohio-Indiana-Kentucky area, esp. among college kids. I've never been a fan of the name - it's just one more weird look to deal with.

Anyway, cornhole is a point-based game consisting of throwing a bean bag into holes on a board a few feet away.

Is it seriously this obscure a game?

Posted by: alan at May 31, 2006 08:00 PM (EGz3O)

7 Quickly scroll down to the blonde in the t-shirt.

There's more good stuff here, where one can learn about Ohio cornhole quality, and the cornhole seal of approval.

Posted by: Nathan Hamm at May 31, 2006 08:07 PM (jyqtS)

8 Are Ohioans this filthy?

I can only speak for myself, but yes.

Don't even get me started on Columbus.
Posted by Guy T. at May 31, 2006 11:01 PM

Yeah, sorry about Saturday night. I got a little carried away.

Posted by: The Warden at May 31, 2006 08:55 PM (rZ5uY)

9 What's wrong with Wahoo's? It's an institution here in SoCal.

Posted by: Richard at May 31, 2006 09:50 PM (+rxFq)

10 Fish tacos are a popular Mexican food variation around Southern California. They supposedly originated in Baja.

Now, the Pink Taco is a different story.

Posted by: Sean M. at May 31, 2006 11:00 PM (dc5zY)

11 I'm not sure I can speak for most other Ohioans, but I don't think we're all this "cluelessly innocent." My girlfriend and I cracked up laughing when we saw the sign at a local drug store stating something like "Come in for our nuts and tea bags." Perhaps it's a bit immature, but I have a hard time believing that a disgruntled employee wasn't behind this. I guess the management might be considered cluelessly innocent.

As far as "cornhole" goes, my parents bought the bean bag toss game, and we refer to it as "the bean bag toss game." It's like horseshoes but with bean bags, and about as equally as fun, in my opinion. But it is popular among college students. Until now, I've only heard it referred to as "cornhole" once, and that was by someone who said, "some people call it 'cornhole'."

I thought he was full of it, or at least was referring to a very small number of people. I guess not.

Posted by: Jason at June 01, 2006 03:28 AM (Y2Bw/)

12 Here in Illinois we call it "Baggo." It's actually a lot of fun, you can play while getting stinking drunk. Very popular at house parties, beer gardens, and the like.

Posted by: morpheus at June 01, 2006 03:31 AM (O9kZt)

13 What's wrong with Wahoo's? It's an institution here in SoCal.

Agreed -- Wahoo's is superb and should be entirely above ridicule.

Posted by: JSinger at June 01, 2006 03:50 AM (EqFh0)

14 Ohioans are all not this clueless...and by the way, the 'beanbag' thrown in the game is filled with dried corn...get it?

Oh yeah, one last thing -- Carson will be signing balls and will freely accept all that come. Thank you.

Posted by: billygoat at June 01, 2006 03:55 AM (TNGrH)

15 Don't get me wrong, the cornhole postings are funny but I don't think it will have the staying power of a
'stuff Jefferson said' or a 'Zombie'. I say its more in the class of 'Mutha f'king snakes'

I got a mutha f'king snake in my cornhole!

Posted by: roc ingersol at June 01, 2006 04:58 AM (m2CN7)

16 I have attended the Luling Watermelon Thump in Luling Texas, and once dated the Thump Queen.

But this cornhole thing is way funnier.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 01, 2006 05:05 AM (tO9iT)

17 Dave thumped the Queen. Here in Cincinnati we call it something else.

Posted by: kevlarchick at June 01, 2006 05:51 AM (3CB2b)

18 Ace,

Better watch it. Keep this pace up and the folks reading your blog are going to start calling you a cornholeaholic. Now we wouldn't want that would we?

Posted by: JohnMc at June 01, 2006 07:13 AM (cMd8l)

19 Wahoo's Fish Tacos kick ass! They're usually MahiMahi which has been marinated and grilled. They are wrapped in small corn tortillas and served with cabbage, shredded cheese, and store-made salsa.

Too bad you have to be cornholed to get some tacos, though

Posted by: brian at June 01, 2006 11:28 AM (BBZtG)

20 It took me six months of living in SoCal before I could stop chuckling everytime somebody said Fish Taco.

Wahoos is really good, but Chronic Taco has become my new favorite. There's one in Newport Beach and one in Huntington Beach.

Posted by: steve_in_hb at June 01, 2006 11:53 AM (rOmZa)

21 Wahoo's Fish Tacos kick ass! They're usually MahiMahi which has been marinated and grilled.

MahiMahi... A.K.A. "Flipper".

Posted by: fletch at June 01, 2006 10:26 PM (e5ifM)

22 Check out AmericanCornhole.com - it will explain cornhole to you - it is a great game.

Posted by: Frank at June 18, 2006 11:03 AM (QsGl9)

23 Great post! I'll subscribe proper now wth my feedreader computer software!

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