Posted by: morning wood at November 30, 2006 08:07 AM (+aNmG)
2
Yeah, we were just deciding where to move in case of an AoS liquidation.
Posted by: Bart at November 30, 2006 08:08 AM (yHCzY)
3
Paparazzi: "Nice beaver!"
Brit: "Thanks. I just got it stuffed yesterday."
Posted by: richj at November 30, 2006 08:09 AM (Qrjpn)
4
Where's the round mound of spades?
Posted by: RD at November 30, 2006 08:12 AM (5Tkeh)
5
Yeah, we were just deciding where to move in case of an AoS liquidation.
We can always hang out at Garfield Ridge.
Oh wait . . .
Posted by: Michael at November 30, 2006 08:14 AM (ycKg/)
6
You know how cars that run on restaurant grease smell like French fries when they run? I wonder about the smell of exhaust from
this:
A Canadian company is creating an alternative green fuel from a new source of energy that was under our noses all along - human sewage.
Also, I think it's only a green fuel if you've been eating a lot of spinach.
Posted by: Roy at November 30, 2006 08:17 AM (wY194)
7
I say we MEET here as any good as any place. CONSERVATIVES unite in our defeat on SLIMY liberal pukes.
Posted by: spurwing blogver at November 30, 2006 08:25 AM (m2CN7)
8
a moment of Brittany's snatch?
Posted by: PHenry at November 30, 2006 08:26 AM (ZCbq9)
9
Ace,
Why hast thou forsaken us?
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at November 30, 2006 08:28 AM (s7Ian)
10
It's nice to see Ms. Spears in a more professional attire. I guess we should ask of her the same thing we ask of Scottish men and their kilts.
Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2006 08:31 AM (wnU1W)
11
"I want to blog something good for you, but there's just too much going on in reality land right now."
Congratulations on your first visit.
Posted by: MyPetGloat at November 30, 2006 08:32 AM (06Exb)
12
"I want to blog something good for you, but there's just too much going on in reality land right now."
Not much going on? A guy with "sack" in his name is going to run for president. There's an endless supply of material right there.
Posted by: 3rd_Bird at November 30, 2006 08:34 AM (1OO0I)
13
Couldn't we at least get a Jim Webb story to kick off the open thread?
Is there an AoSHQ suggestion box?
What the hell?
Posted by: Rosetta at November 30, 2006 08:35 AM (CTqCo)
14
Just wanted to snatch a moment to say hello.
That subject has already been covered.
Posted by: at November 30, 2006 08:36 AM (i3QB9)
15
Alright, someone start doing the 'Good Saint Anthony' chants, Ace is lost.
Posted by: Sinistar at November 30, 2006 08:40 AM (5bI3V)
16
Hey, y'all stop teasin' me 'bout not wearin' underthin's.
I'm COUNTRY, y'all!
Posted by: Brittany at November 30, 2006 08:42 AM (ZCbq9)
17
Sorry peeps.
Retail Store + Holiday season = Countdown to Insanity
I don't know what Ace is up to either, but I hope he's OK.
Posted by: lauraw at November 30, 2006 08:44 AM (+oo0Q)
18
Im sure you guys and gals all have googled the new Britney pics by now - so whats up with that big fuckin scar above her cooch? Did she have a baby or give birth to a rabid wolverine? Is O.J. her ob/gyn?
Keep that shit covered jigsaw twat.
Posted by: Now, d'ja hear ‘bout Amish Miller? He disappeared, babe at November 30, 2006 08:44 AM (OEbrS)
19
Has the Nazi Pelosi LL Bean BurntUmber Shirt Staffen come for our ACE?
As Nancy said,
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at November 30, 2006 08:45 AM (8Pv/P)
20
That scar is my mark. How come no one talks about me anymore?
Posted by: fedEx at November 30, 2006 08:47 AM (ZCbq9)
21
Hey Larwyn
Potential hat tip for ya! Where the heck is Ace?
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at November 30, 2006 08:53 AM (s7Ian)
22
Fedex said:
That scar is my mark. How come no one talks about me anymore?
Youre old News baby. When the ladies need their boxes handled there is only one man to call - and thats ME. I always deliver.
One you Go Brown...
Posted by: UPS at November 30, 2006 08:57 AM (OEbrS)
23
Didn't everybody hear? Ace made it to the Cornhole Classic semis.
Posted by: FreakyBoy at November 30, 2006 09:02 AM (vhP5O)
24
OK, maybe a
Where's Ace? contest. Opening gambits:
1. In jail
2. On drugs
3. In jail on drugs
4. Passed out with a Latin tranny hooker
5. Too depressed to write due to the holidays
6. Too depressed to write due to recent GOP losses
7. Out in the 'hood starting random fires
8. Out in the 'hood strangling hobos
9. Seriously loaded on 'scripts and Val-U-Rite
10. Watching free Internet porn
Posted by: Swami Smakafatty at November 30, 2006 09:09 AM (kVUW4)
25
Maybe someone can check for ace on the tree stump beside the nature path near the train station.
Hey....where's my awl?
Posted by: Rosetta at November 30, 2006 09:12 AM (CTqCo)
Posted by: scott at November 30, 2006 09:13 AM (YgA/9)
27
"IT'S ALIVE! ALIIIIIIIIIVE, I TELL YOU!"
Posted by: Barry at November 30, 2006 09:17 AM (QrzWy)
28
Well, she can always have her $2.99 back. It would be fun to see the Judge order Kraft to refund her purchase price, but refuse to extract lawyer fees from Kraft.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 09:17 AM (h76y6)
29
I'm in Boston. Wasn't that Ace's last known address? I suppose I could cruise around on my lunch hour looking for...what? Hobo crumbs?
Posted by: S. Weasel at November 30, 2006 09:19 AM (rasT+)
30
Worry not, LauraW, you give good blog.
Posted by: Gotta Know at November 30, 2006 09:20 AM (idqPG)
31
Also, I nominate Britney Spears for Most Embarrassing American™ for 2006.
Posted by: Barry at November 30, 2006 09:21 AM (QrzWy)
32
How much to rent this place for a couple of days?
Posted by: mesablue at November 30, 2006 09:23 AM (DzeyU)
Posted by: Oddly enough ! at November 30, 2006 09:23 AM (kVUW4)
34
>>Also, I nominate Britney Spears for Most Embarrassing American™ for 2006.
More embarassing than John Kerry & Jimmy Carter? You must be kidding.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 09:23 AM (h76y6)
35
I thinking Armour-All can use these celebrity snatch photos in their "cleans and protects" ads.
Posted by: FreakyBoy at November 30, 2006 09:24 AM (vhP5O)
36
Where's Ace:
From the Philadelphia Daily News:
MAHOPAC, N.Y. - A man broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor...The vet, Stacey Dallas, also said the orange paint was on their genitals...
I have a bad feeling about this. I tried to include the actual link, but the comment thingy nuked it.
Posted by: richj at November 30, 2006 09:24 AM (Qrjpn)
37
The goats knew the risks.
Also, love the vet's name: Stacey Dallas. Sounds like a porn star or a TV name for an actress / spokesmodel.
Posted by: Neutral observer at November 30, 2006 09:27 AM (kVUW4)
38
An Alligator caught Ace? That is frightening.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 09:27 AM (h76y6)
39
The comment thingie hates us.
Posted by: S. Weasel at November 30, 2006 09:27 AM (rasT+)
40
I question the use of Orange paint. Mauve or Magenta would have been better.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 09:28 AM (h76y6)
41
I thinking Armour can use these celebrity snatch photos in their "spam" ads.
Posted by: PattyAnn at November 30, 2006 09:29 AM (IGwhg)
42
"Also, I think it's only a green fuel if you've been eating a lot of spinach.
Posted by Roy"
Actually, I think drinking grape Kool-aid is the stuff that'll turn yer turds green....
And green Kool-aid is the stuff that'll put you in a Jonestown body bag.
Posted by: TaterCon at November 30, 2006 09:29 AM (ViBPz)
43
I said "bring the POSSE"!
Posted by: sentinel at November 30, 2006 09:30 AM (6OibN)
Posted by: Shareholders of AoS, Inc. at November 30, 2006 09:36 AM (s7Ian)
45
lauraw, it's time to step-up.
We here at AoS abhor a vacuum. Someone needs to take Ace's place. You can do it, lauraw. Save AoS, lauraw. The blog is dying. Don't let Ace's work disappear quietly in the night.
We're all counting on you, lauraw.
But hey, no pressure.
Posted by: Bart at November 30, 2006 09:40 AM (D9Uv7)
46
Lauraw, granted that you do not have the huge noggin, unruly beard and wild hair of Ace, but we will try to imagine you just like that if you step up.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 09:41 AM (h76y6)
47
richj:
Ace calls that "Thursday".
Posted by: slatz at November 30, 2006 09:43 AM (xG58s)
48
Somebody had better post
something quick before we start directing our rage and bile towards each other in a brutal fratricidal massacre.
You know what I'm saying, Tushar, you preening jackass SOB?
Posted by: Rosetta at November 30, 2006 09:57 AM (CTqCo)
49
Yeah, Tushar's always pulling that shit now that we think about it ...
Posted by: Angry Mob at November 30, 2006 09:59 AM (kVUW4)
50
Yes, please, somebody do something. I feel the need to vent as my head still hurts like a sumbitch. Did you know that Icehouse comes in 30 packs? That shit'll start a diesel engine in -80 degree weather.
As for Ms. Spears: Congratulations, sweetheart. Hollywood loves outrageous shit, get ready for a career boost like you've never seen. In what, I can't really say.
Posted by: ErikW at November 30, 2006 09:59 AM (ELcqj)
51
Yo, Tushar! You don't have to take that from no lesbian!
Posted by: S. Weasel at November 30, 2006 09:59 AM (rasT+)
52
Wow, according to sitemeter AoSHQ really does need ace.
People don't come here to read about Wickedpintos bitch breaking habits or the color of Tushars poo.
Posted by: mesablue at November 30, 2006 10:02 AM (DzeyU)
53
Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: The Israeli Tank at November 30, 2006 10:02 AM (5bI3V)
Posted by: Sinistar at November 30, 2006 10:03 AM (5bI3V)
Posted by: Alexander Haig at November 30, 2006 10:04 AM (s7Ian)
56
Maybe we should require user registration, and then vote to see which posters should have stars by their screen-names?
Posted by: Slate at November 30, 2006 10:04 AM (kVUW4)
57
I think we should put little black faces next to their names -- then delete the stuff we don't like in the name of free expression.
Posted by: hamsterdoglake at November 30, 2006 10:06 AM (DzeyU)
58
LauraW - what is your financial welfare compared our need for online distraction. If there is nothing here - think of the poor sacks who are going to have to turn to porn.
Posted by: Carin at November 30, 2006 10:06 AM (544GI)
59
Tushar,
I lost my senses - sorry about that. I actually like you so I will kill you next-to-last. Nice Deb gets killed last.
S. Weasel,
As a proud man-lesbian, I wear your verbal bigoted assault as a badge of honor. On my junk.
While we wait for a troll to stumble in here or something, I would like to bring to everyone's attention that may have missed it, my favorite comment ever, courtesy of stace:
"I can't even SEE my own pooter..."
We need an AoSHQ comment hall of fame.
Posted by: Rosetta-ManNotLesbian at November 30, 2006 10:08 AM (CTqCo)
60
"People don't come here to read about Wickedpintos bitch breaking habits or the color of Tushars poo."
Speak for yourself mesablue.
My theory is Ace is part of the Iraq Study Group and he's been holded up in a secret location beating some sense in the rest of them.
Now back to Wickedpinto's bitch breaking and Tushar's poo....
Posted by: Drew at November 30, 2006 10:08 AM (gNyUT)
61
Black faces ?! Another
Ace-of-Racists-HQ regular, I see.
Maybe someone ought to show a little more respect toward the Internet's # 1 amateur leftist webzine.
Posted by: Slate at November 30, 2006 10:10 AM (kVUW4)
62
I'm in charge here!
Posted by Alexander Haig
Ha! Good one.
Posted by: Rosetta at November 30, 2006 10:11 AM (CTqCo)
63
Someone should check behind the bookcase.
Posted by: slatz at November 30, 2006 10:11 AM (xG58s)
64
I say we send out a search and rescue party.
Posted by: Carin at November 30, 2006 10:12 AM (544GI)
65
The problem here is that the home room teacher hasn't given us a subject to talk about and we're ADD'ing all over the place.
I'll start:
Tushar, why don't you like cows? Or rather, like them too much? They are the meatiest animal per square inch on the planet (elephants are bony/they work well as taxis) and in a country of a BILLION people you guys decided not to eat the one animal that has the most FOOD on it. Plus, cows taste really good. You are never going to know the pleasure of a smoked brisket or a perfect porterhouse.
Tushar, please explain. Everyone else, please ridicule Tushar.
Posted by: mesablue at November 30, 2006 10:12 AM (DzeyU)
66
"
Someone should check behind the bookcase."
Why? Do you really think Ace needs a book case for his
comic books graphic novels (or whatever the hell they call them)?
Posted by: Drew at November 30, 2006 10:13 AM (gNyUT)
67
Lord of the flies, here we come..
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at November 30, 2006 10:14 AM (s7Ian)
68
Ace, listen to me. It's not good for people to think your dead. Have your brother take a photo of you holding today's newspaper.
Posted by: Fidel at November 30, 2006 10:14 AM (D9Uv7)
69
Hey mesablue,
Don't give them any fucking ideas, alright?
Posted by: The Cows at November 30, 2006 10:15 AM (gNyUT)
70
Tushar,
You are too fat.
I was such a skinny little kid, my FOB mama MADE ME BEEF at home, to fatten my macaca ass up.
Posted by: IreneFingIrene at November 30, 2006 10:16 AM (s7Ian)
71
wake up you repugnifags, there are worse things than your little ferret-king ace going missing...like:
global warming
global cooling
deforestation
christianity
police brutality
and other stuff.
Posted by: Obama's Obitch at November 30, 2006 10:17 AM (PxVuZ)
72
I call Piggy! No, wait...what's the name of a kid that DOESN'T die...?
Posted by: S. Weasel at November 30, 2006 10:17 AM (rasT+)
73
Wait. Before we get to the Lord of the Flies, let's decide on a meeting place if the lights go out at AoS.
We'll meet at innocentbystanders.net, have a few drinks, and then decide on a new home.
Until then, someone has to take the reigns of AoS and lead us out of the desert. Who shall it be?
Posted by: Bart at November 30, 2006 10:18 AM (D9Uv7)
74
I have the conch, STFU n00bs!
Posted by: Sinistar at November 30, 2006 10:18 AM (5bI3V)
75
Bart,
Maybe we could put an ad on Ebay and some other blogs could bid on us. How much do you think a pack of morons goes for these days?
Posted by: Drew at November 30, 2006 10:19 AM (gNyUT)
76
we could put an ad on Ebay
Brilliant!
I need some christmas cash.
How do we do this before Ace gets back?
Posted by: mesablue at November 30, 2006 10:22 AM (DzeyU)
77
Too late messa, he's back. There's a new post.
Posted by: Drew at November 30, 2006 10:25 AM (gNyUT)
78
How much do you think a pack of morons goes for these days?
With or without the conch?
Posted by: Choir Bully at November 30, 2006 10:27 AM (kVUW4)
79
Oh shit.
Drew, we would fetch a premium, for sure.
Posted by: Bart at November 30, 2006 10:28 AM (D9Uv7)
80
Cool, Ace's back ... though you know, it's kinda' funny how we all turned on each other there at the end, huh? Hope Tushar knows we were all just kidding ... or something.
/nervous laughter
Posted by: AoSHQ Regular at November 30, 2006 10:30 AM (kVUW4)
81
Relax guys. The other day I saw Ace on the street and I was so happy to see him I grabbed him by the ankle, turned him upside down and put his penis in my mouth. The problem is his penis got stuck and we are waiting for a specialist from Cambodia to come and perform the operation to get it out.
Or
Relax guys. The other day I saw Ace on the street and I was so happy to see him I grabbed him by the ankle, turned him upside down and put his penis in my mouth. Long story short he's handcuffed himself to me and swallowed the key so "he will never be alone again". He should be back before too long. I tricked him into eating a bag full of Taco Bell burritos and I'm just sitting here in my bathroom, aquarium net in hand, waiting for the inevitable.
Posted by: Jim Webb at November 30, 2006 10:33 AM (uw1/g)
82
Whoa! Ace is gone for a while and a mob forms to lynch the only macaca in town??? What the F***?
Irene, you were born here, so you are a semi-macaca at best.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 10:34 AM (h76y6)
83
Can we talk about guns?
I'd like to snatch a new Weatherby .300 WinMag.
For Quail Hunting
Posted by: frankalterego at November 30, 2006 10:34 AM (ZjYn+)
Posted by: at November 30, 2006 10:40 AM (Pt3Le)
85
What should I have for lunch?
Posted by: I'm hungry at November 30, 2006 10:47 AM (DzeyU)
86
>>What should I have for lunch?
Don't eat anything that is growing in a pot.
Posted by: Tushar D at November 30, 2006 10:58 AM (h76y6)
87
"I call Piggy! No, wait...what's the name of a kid that DOESN'T die...?"
Piggy dies?! Thanks for ruining the ending, asshole.
Posted by: Lindsay Lohan at November 30, 2006 11:03 AM (wg4FW)
88
Andrew McCarthy is on fuckin fire
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=NDEyMmY0YTJkMzZjZGNiY2ZiMzE4NWIyNjliMjQ4MDQ=
Posted by: Pervy Grin at November 30, 2006 11:14 AM (zVHNC)
89
Tushar,
Thanks for us allowing to mock and ridicule you for no reason. You are a good sport.
Even if you don't like beef.
Posted by: Rosetta at November 30, 2006 11:14 AM (CTqCo)
Posted by: Pervy Grin at November 30, 2006 11:18 AM (zVHNC)
91
Cool, Ace's back ... though you know, it's kinda' funny how we all turned on each other there at the end, huh?
Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and Rosetta killed a guy with a trident.
Posted by: Nice Deb at November 30, 2006 01:06 PM (j/w7v)
92
Next AoS Sattelite blog, needs to be titled "Israeli tank"
Piggy dies?! Thanks for ruining the ending, asshole.
Posted by Lindsay Lohan
Cracked me the fuck up.
Posted by: Wickedpinto at November 30, 2006 01:17 PM (QTv8u)
93
No way was it the end, Nice Deb didn't curse. When she drops an "F"-bomb that's a sign of the apocalypse.
Posted by: Don Carne at November 30, 2006 01:20 PM (RJDcF)
94
Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and Rosetta killed a guy with a trident.
And someone posted a picture of a really large woman on top of an unidentified person and then suggested that it could be someone we all know.
What was that number? 138?
Posted by: mesablue at November 30, 2006 01:27 PM (DzeyU)
95
What was that number?
Shhhhhh. Shhh. Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Posted by: No One in Particular at November 30, 2006 01:56 PM (j/w7v)
96
Thats not VANNAS WHITE from WHEEL OF FOURTURE is it? SQUAWK SQUAWK
Posted by: spurwing plover at November 30, 2006 06:08 PM (TPwuq)
97
Go UCLA!
Way to take the early lead.
Looks like there still might be some hope for my Wolverines.
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