1 Thank you, Ace, for giving this humble moron the room to wiggle and say just what the fuck I want. Oh, and Charles Johnson is a cock-gobbling ass licking coward.

2 He really does do a great job of feeding this beast.

3 I suppose I could hit the jar for 1000won.  Which is about 85 cents.

4
It is a pathetic existence.

Yeah, but what's that have to do with the blog?

5 A shot of Old Overholt on me, Ace.. you skanky whore!

6 He supplements it with side work that is not only demeaning and despicable, but takes time away from his core duty, which is to entertain you.

I told him: you want to work for Monty, you're gonna do what Monty tells you. If that job includes providing certain services to the attendees of the American Association of Morbidly Obese Cheese-Fanciers, then so be it. He knew the conditions when he took the job.

However! Given the generally high level of Ace's work, I suppose I can kick in a few shekels. Why, just yesterday a certain Ramona Klenmitz rhapsodized that Ace was the first escort in her memory who finished the evening without either weeping hysterically or attempting to commit ritual suicide. It speaks volumes about Ace's work-ethic, his high tolerance for unpleasantness, and his general air of placid idiocy. Give him a case of Valu-Rite vodka every Christmas and make sure to pay off the cops for his little "indiscretions" with hobos, and he's no trouble at all.

Besides, I need to jack up Ace's miserable net worth so that when I finally sell him out to the Chinese mafia I can actually make money on the deal.

7 OK I hit him!  Shit found out I had money in my Paypal acct so Ace it didn't hurt at all to send you "found" money.

8 Damn. I'm flat broke right now. Thank the Lord I have an emergency back-up supply of Val-U-Rite.

I can send the Furry One a bag of kibble. My neighbor won't miss it.

9

He supplements it with side work that is not only demeaning and despicable, but takes time away from his core duty, which is to entertain you.

 

Is he Fred Garvin's protege? Or is the hobo jerky business not quite so good these days?

10 Hit the tip jar-  The fruit bat is in the mail.

11 Why, just yesterday a certain Ramona Klenmitz rhapsodized that Ace was the first escort in her memory who finished the evening without either weeping hysterically or attempting to commit ritual suicide.

I like that about him. You know those bubbling sores on my hump? He didn't bat an eye, just did his duty like a good lil' soldier.

12 So that was Ace's Craigslist ad for fluffboy services?

At least he isn't moonlighting at MSNBC; that would be really disgusting.

13 Viva Ace Vegas

14 If you give an Ewok a flea dip he'll want some jam to go with it.

15 He supplements it with side work that is not only demeaning and despicable, but takes time away from his core duty, which is to entertain you.

I had no idea Ace teaches in the New York City school system. Poor, poor bastard.

16 paypalled $25.00 just as a thanks for that shit he pulled with Roker

17 Yub-yub, Bitches!

18 That just brought a tear to mah eye! If poor ol' Ace needs a new leather thong, to keep them ghey folks entertained well god darn'it, I'll chip in!

19

I'll give him my donation in person when we have the blogger conference in Texas. 

I keed.

20
The best $28.97 I ever spent.

21 14 If you give an Ewok a flea dip he'll want some jam to go with it. Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 17, 2009 10:19 AM (NtiET) That sounds like something really dirty...

22 Instead of Pay Pal, can I donate content? I got some Carrie PreJean style vids, IYKWIMAITTYD. People will like it twice as much, because I am twice her age, twice her weight and I have less hair covering my beautiful scalp. Oh, and I'm a guy, which is a big novelty.

23 For $100 do we get a nude ewok?

24

Demeaning and despicable?  I thought Ace wasn't a lawyer...

Fine, I'll hit the Paypal button when I get home. 

25 We would give to the big guy. But we blew our budget on a banner.

26
For $100 do we get a nude ewok?

He has to be nekkid to get in the flea dip tub, doesn't he?

27 I sold off my neighbor's children, they were worth twenty bucks. Annoying little bastards, they're finally being used for something useful.

28

For $100 do we get a nude ewok?

For $200 do we NOT get a nude ewok?

29

Done but with the expectation that this "donation" is given in the current political atmosphere of pay-for-play.  In other words, I get all of the cuss words back that are currently forboden.  Scrunt may be good enough for the other noncontributing morons but I want to be able ot use the full monty.

Great job Ace!

 

30
What Ace getting a flea dip might look like.

31 Done and thanks for the reminder, LauraW.  Give till it hurts, morons.  Although, I agree that a risque picture of our hero might generate higher revenues. 

32 I want to be able ot use the full monty

My attorney will contact you with my standard price-sheet, along with the terms and conditions pertaining thereto. You can opt for the less-expensive "partial Monty" plan, or even the "fractional Monty", but...well, if you're going to be a cheap-ass, why even bother?

33 Although, I agree that a risque picture of our hero might generate higher revenues.

Oh dear God, please don't go there. Remember the horrible day of "naked testicle Spiderman" and shudder in fear.

34 Remember the horrible day of "naked testicle Spiderman" and shudder in fear. WTF? Doc Ock said there was no film in the camera. Besides, I was drunk.

35

there is no way this is ace's main source of income. those google ads can't be raking in that much scratch.

I will leave some money on the dresser Ace.

36 Done. I enjoy the blog every day, it is high time I anted up.

37

It seems to me that the newsworthy story that the media hastened to bypass was the story about T-shirts for sale in Communist China on which there are pictures of Barack Obama wearing a Chairman Mao uniform.

Gee, do you think that maybe even the dullards in Communist China know something about Comrade Obama that most Americans are too stupid to realize?

 

38 Ace you need join Ed Morrisey and Allahpundit and suckle on Michelle Malkin's money producing teet.

39

Allright, allright...

Donated by: evil midnight bomber what bombs at midnight/Mr. Death/Triumph/Good Midnight Fluffly Bunny What Fluffs at Midnight/others depending on what PC I'm at

40 Does she have three?

41 Meesa give Ace 10 million Naboo credits!

42 Wow, I learn something new every day on AoSHQ. Today I learned that lauraw is Ace's "bottom bitch".

You know you could probably ring up some serious scratch if you throw in some "freebies" for certain dollar amounts.
$20 gets you a tote bag
$50 gets you a tshirt
$100 gets you the "Ace" sized tube of Astroglide.

43

Boston is nothing like Thurston County. So tech-savvy and progressive.

Boston College: Ability to Use a Command Line is a Sign of Criminal Activity

http://tinyurl.com/pmz2xt

44 Wouldn't it be best to do a Ace stimulus plan after Ace returns from vegas? Just sayin'....

45

>>$100 gets you the "Ace" sized tube of Astroglide.

Like those "Fun size" candy bars?

46
You think the Astroglide® causes the ewok fur to mat?

47

Like those "Fun size" candy bars?

Posted by: Mr. Death

Oh heavens no. The "Ace" size is a 55 gallon drum.

BTW, when will the tote bags be shipped out?

48

Done.

Worth it to see King Moron in those duds.

49 Like those "Fun size" candy bars? Only Fudgier!

50
No peanuts, please.

51 Fine, fine.  I'll just take it out of my college boy's stipend.  He can cut back on the peanut butter and smack, but mostly on the smack.

52 You think the Astroglide® causes the ewok fur to mat?

No, it is water based and water soluble, or so I have heard.

53 MrCainiac, did you happen to notice the t-shirt in the ad on the page you linked?  Was the bacon theme just a lucky coincidence?

54

I gave 'til it hurt.

It's in that paper bag I set on fire and left on your porch, Ace.

Honest.

55 Just dropped something in the Tip Jar.  Due to the fact that I am presently "between jobs", as they say, it is not as much as I would like to give, but it's the thought  -- plus a few $$$ -- that counts, right?

56 Got it- Thanks for the reminder!

57 Longtime reader, first time contributor.  Thanks very much, Ace.

58 Like those "Fun size" candy bars?

I first read that as "candy bras" --- and whaddayaknow,  it works!!!

59
He supplements it with side work that is not only demeaning and despicable

Port Authority Bus Terminal, men's room stall #2 if you'd like to make your 'donation' in person.

60

Looks like Major Hasan was on Obama's transition team. See page 29 of the report, first column.  The name may look familiar

http://tinyurl.com/ye5ao6g

If they are the one and the same Hasan, it may be a good reason why Obama is stonewalling on a congressional investigation into the Fort Hood murders:

http://tinyurl.com/yzputar

 

61 not unless Ace starts posting some good financial news, right now I am afraid to open my piggy bank

62
A monthly donation of $2.78 can provide a healthy diet of drunken transient and tangus root for a poor ewok in a blue state.

Won't you help? 

63 I first read that as "candy bras" --- and whaddayaknow,  it works!!!

The Official Bra of the AoS Moronette!

64 I stuck a little in his panties (That is the demeaning job, right?  As sad as he looked, I don't think he could have a worse one in addition to the pole dancing thingie.)

It probably isn't enough for a *whole* bottle of Valu-Rite, but maybe he can use it for hobo bait and steal that poor sot's hooch.

65 OT Malkin has video up showing amnesty protestors beating the shit out of some tea party folks trying to film them in Florida. I watched and am seething. I am ready for war. Can we just get it started already?

66

Done. Figured it's like a magazine subscription but more frequent. 

67

If you're an adult with the mind of a child, you've found your niche here. 

68 53, Peaches,

Yes it was a happy coincidence. I was laughing about that while copying the link. It is probably one of those google ads that reads your cookies, sees that I went to the moronosphere, presto, bacon content.

69 Does this count as a job saved or created?

70 Gaff. Thanks for the laugh!

71

65

Lefties almost always engage in casual violence, usually speech "I wish I could kill all those _____" [fundies, jesusfreaks, wingnuts, etc]

Its rarer for them to act on it, though. Usually its all taunting and yelling. Interesting - I wonder if its frustration at impending defeat or borne out of confidence, thus going for our throats?

Like Obama, maybe they're dropping all pretense and just going for it.

72 A little sump'n sump'n for the sump'n jar.

73 Ok, ok...I kinda feel bad, tho.
I was lookin' forward to stuffing my contribution into Ace's g-string.

74 I'm in ...tell the Chief Moron not to spend it all in one place (which I presume will be some tranny hobo dive off 2nd St.) .

75 Thanks for the reminder, apparently the note on my monitor at home to freaking hit the tip jar you slack jawed Moron wasn't sufficient to actually make me do it.

Also Pimp!Ewok is awesomesauce.

76 I'm kinda broke at the moment. Can I substitute donations for kisses? Or maybe some exotic sexual acts?

77 Hey Mrs. Mutt, can little Muttonhead come out and play?

78 I dropped my dime in the bucket. Until we get our old house rented out, dimes is what I got...

79 Peekaboo, Muttonhead, I see you.

80

Seriously. Some of us broads have more to offer than a few measly bucks. If only lap dances paid the rent...

 

81

Done and done.  Now at last I don't have to feel like a free loader when I ignore the ads...  I hope Ace uses some of his sweet blogging loot to procure some half decent vodka that's been filtered at least once - can't have a great mind taken down by a defunct, toxin-laden liver...

 

82 Chip in colin, you dickweed.

83 I have an idea: We've seen that recovery.gov has invented some new Congressional districts. For example, Iowa's 16th Congressional district got $5.5 million in stimulus money. Iowa currently has only 5 members of the House of Representatives. I say we send people to Washington demanding to be seated! Send people from all 57 states! It's time these districts be represented!

84 I hope Ace uses some of his sweet blogging loot to procure some half decent vodka that's been filtered at least once

Don't worry, he sends it through the coffee maker a few times.

85 Alternatively, maybe I could pay Ace for something. This way I can give him the money I save. Like maybe he could fix my washing machine. Or paint my living room. Or give me a lap dance while shaking his sexy man boobs all over my face. Or pressure clean my driveway.

86

Send people from all 57 states! It's time these districts be represented!

Nancy's already planning on filling those empty seats with ACCORN and SEIU folks.

87 83  I think you might be on to something there, AmishDude. 

88 errrow ... he takes the bait again ... hook, line and sinker.

89

I kicked in some Bakken petrodollars. For the children, of course.

Besides, I hate to think of Ace having to service drunk Liberian sailors just to keep this great site going. Not that he wouldn't anyway..

Now get some of my fellow ONT commentors on board with this. They treat this site like a support group, and it often is. Healin' ain't free!

90 Toby or not Toby, that is the question.

91

Done,

Now get back to work

92 Ace, should look into geting some of that Stimulus money. Being from NY, it should be a gold mine. Problem is, just where does one start looking? NY-23, SEIU/ACORN,  Freebies given out to the preforming arts. Man, all you need to do is scratch the surface.  OH yea, and scream to the world how you hate Glenn Beck, and Sara Palin. That will get you noticed real quick.

93 19

I'll give him my donation in person when we have the blogger conference in Texas. 

I keed.

Posted by: polynikes at November 17, 2009 10:27 AM (m2CN7)

Where and when will this epic confab occur?

94 Done ...

...

and done.

95 LauraW, Imma gonna let you continue, and you have a great fundraiser here, but let me tell you, Jerry Lewis had one of the best fundraisers of ALL TIME!

96 So is this convention now a sure thing in Vegas in April? I haven't seen any more threads about it since last week.

97 Can't he scheme up some stimulus dollars? Then lie about the number of jobs he's saved...

98

Can't he scheme up some stimulus dollars? Then lie about the number of jobs he's saved...

I think our funds to AOSHQ saved or created 1,000,000,000 jobs.

99

Hey Ace,

With Christmas season coming up, you should somehow register for Amazon's profit sharing thingy.  I'm not sure exactly how it works, but it somehow shares a tiny bit of the proceeds of any sales that come from your site.  You should just start linking stuff. 

Instapundit does this all the time, and I don't think any readers really care.  For example:  this link right here is a link to some Amazon dvd.  If you look in the url, there is the string "violentkicomm" or something like that.  That must be Instapundit identifying tag.  He also just shamelessly just links things without much explanation, like this post right here.  I don't think anybody pretends he is doing this for any reason other than to make money.  But nobody cares. 

I would imagine that you could probably do okay if you starting doing this.  It is not as automated as simple banner ads, but the nice thing is that you know your audience, and might be able to actually link to stuff we like.  And might be interested in actually buying.  Honestly these ads that are here now are pretty generic.  Teeth bleaching and acai berries... I think I'm probably more tempted to click on my spam emails than on these banners.

In other words... start being a shameless profit whore.  We don't care.  If you link to something cool on Amazon, I might even buy it.  Then you could really start seeing that crazy blog money.

100 Pay pal won't accept my dollar. It is crinkled, but i am trying to flatten it out and insert it into the appropriate slot.

101 Now get back to work

Work?  Never heard of it.

102 It's official?  Moronstock is to be held in Las Vegas?

103 100 Pay pal won't accept my dollar. It is crinkled, but i am trying to flatten it out and insert it into the appropriate slout.

Posted by: Ben at November 17, 2009 12:30 PM (wuv1c)

FIFY

104

With Christmas season coming up, you should somehow register for Amazon's profit sharing thingy.  I'm not sure exactly how it works, but it somehow shares a tiny bit of the proceeds of any sales that come from your site.  You should just start linking stuff.

That's a good idea!  Personnaly, if I could do my Christmas shopping (some of it) on AoS, that would be pretty sweet.  I'm going to use Amazon, anyway.  Might as well do it here.

105 aaa if i give some stimulus money....how many jobs will this save...and create?

106

Hey Mrs. Mutt, can little Muttonhead come out and play baseball with us?

Now, Colin, you know that little Muttonhead doesn't have any arms or legs.

That's okay, we can use him for third base.

107

Sorry...my wife has the credit card....GOD HELP ME!

 

108 As much as you guys rail against Charles it is funny that you have to hold fundraisers for your own blog. Charles runs the most fair and evenhanded blog on the net, if only I could say the same about this blog maybe then you wouldn't have to hold fundraisers. Maybe you should post up some pictures of a bicycle or the beach? That will bring the funds rolling in.

109 Don't spend it all in Mos Eisley. Save a little for the slave girls in Jabba's Palace. Hubba, Hubba!

110

Sorry...my wife has the credit card....GOD HELP ME!

 

Posted by: dananjcon at November 17, 2009 12:39 PM (pr+up)

Awww, sweetie! Now that's a sad story.

111 ok i will donate if another there is a new post before 5 pm

112

Then you could really start seeing that crazy blog money.

Hey, be careful now, trying to raise that crazy blog money can get you in trouble, we tried to sell a Senate seat....oh wait, you said blog money, not Blago money. Nevermind.

113 I'll donate if Ace reposts a story that another co-blogger did no more than 15 minutes prior.

114

As much as you guys rail against Charles it is funny that you have to hold fundraisers for your own blog. Charles runs the most fair and evenhanded blog on the net, if only I could say the same about this blog maybe then you wouldn't have to hold fundraisers. Maybe you should post up some pictures of a bicycle or the beach? That will bring the funds rolling in.

I can't tell if that is an intentional or unintentional joke

115

In the end, there will be only chaos.

An excerpt:

"2011 and 2012 will be very unpleasant years, as the Obama administration struggles to get closer to budget balance without pushing up taxes so far as to cause yet a third recession. Stock prices will be at or below their March 2009 lows, and will stay there even as earnings of export-oriented companies will be robust. (Conversely, retailers dealing in cheap imported goods, such as Wal-Mart, will be devastated.)  Wages will be generally declining relative to prices, although may show some growth in nominal terms as inflation will be considerable. Foreign goods and services will be inordinately expensive in dollar terms."

Shamelessly stolen from Iain Murray in The Corner.

116 #108   Mr Pink, is that you sockpuppeting?  What name do you use over at LGF?

117 I'll donate what I normally give to sites hosting Skinemax movie clips, but first, we need MOHR UPDATES!

118
LGF Fan


 I noticed old Chuckie has a hit the tip jar function on every thread now.Evidently you liberal cheapskates need a constant reminder that a percentage of your government assistance check should go to him.

119

#118

Maintaining a Comic Book Guy physique requires a lot of money.

120 Check this out.    /spits

121

"Mr Hump My Pink" I'm guessing.

122

"a third recession"? Now, there is an optimist. Fact is, we will still be in this one in 2011, _{and BTW, it isn't a recession. It is a depression.} Or haven't you noticed?

 

"recession"? Geezez, what planet are you living on? _{(Comrade Obama wants you to believe that it is just a "recession".)}

123
Damn, I fall for that sockpuppet thing every friggin time.I hate sockpuppetry

124

I don't have a name over at LGF. Like many of you I was banned. Didn't comment there much anyway even when I had an account.

125

Tip jar hit.

Now, back to the wall.

126 #118

Evidently, Charles banned all the paying commenters.


Speaking of paying commenters, if a de-worming is to be included this time in the flea-dip procedure, can someone post a schedule so I can make sure to be elsewhere for a few days?

127

Maintaining a Comic Book Guy physique requires a lot of money.

And a lot of donuts. Money and donuts....but mostly, donuts.

128 120 Check this out.    /spits

Posted by: Peaches at November 17, 2009 12:58 PM (9Wv2j)

SEIU, nothing but a bunch of ass covering, self serving thugs, that ought to be put in jail.

129 Arbalest at November 17, 2009 01:04 PM (7CMP3)

Ace is making sunday brunch from those worms. And fleas.

130 Palin on Rush right now.

131

Ace is making sunday brunch from those worms. And fleas.

You wankers couldn't cook up a good worm and flea Sunday brunch if your life depended upon it. Shut it down.

132 Rush is completely doing her a favor by asking policy questions!

And she's ready for it.  Go girl.

133

I'll donate if Ace reposts a story that another co-blogger did no more than 15 minutes prior.

I'll donate more when he stops doing that!

134
After 1pm in New York and no Ace.  Sure hope he's on a bender, I'd be disappointed with anything else.

135

seriously- how does one make a living at blogging?

please tell me that ace- whoever that is- has a real day job.

136

135

It depends greatly on what your needs are.

137 Happy to pitch in, Ace, and hope you don't blow it all in one place like, say, here: http://tinyurl.com/ygtvppd

138

Holy crap check out this video here.  "Microsoft Store Breaks Out Into Song".  Microsoft's current ad campaign of trying sooooo hard to be cool is an epic failure.  I actually think this youtube video is not some spontaneous video, but part of a viral ad campaign by Microsoft.  This is cringeworthy.

139

Little Muttonhead has a better chance of becoming the Republican Party's presidential candidate in 2012. Palin doesn't have any credibility. She is a ditz.

Um, you know, on second thought, in view of the fact that Comrade Chairman Obama got elected, I suppose that Palin has a chance, too.

_{(52% voted for Comrade Obams, and 46% voted for that goofy RINO, McCain. That tells me that 98% of the electorate who bother to vote are either mentally ill or mentally retarded.).}

140

139

Huh?

141

Sarah Palin batted a home run on Rush with her quick insight on issues. 

No BS, just very direct policy questions without wiggle.

She's a contender Bambi, I tell you the girls a contender. 

142 *yawn*

143

What 99 said.

It's not like Ace isn't already a shameless whore.

144 I agree, 141, she really did well.  Yes, Rush is a sympathetic interviewer, but she had some real substance here.

145

We're hoping a little cash infusion will help Ace quit his 'night jobs' and update his wardrobe.

I don't want Ace to quit his nightjob - where else am I going to get handjobs for $5?

And as far as the wardrobe - I think the fishnet stockings look just fine.

146 No offense, but this blog sucks lately.

Entire posts deleted out of fear that Little Charles Johnson might say something bad.

Entire Sundays come and go with just one or two posts, neither of which is related to NFL football.

I would not donate to this blog, in this economic environment. Maybe after 2010. But you guys need to step it up!

147 Doesn't Ace get a cut of the lace wig money?  Thats got to run into millions of dollars.

148 Rush obviously fed her the questions beforehand so that she could prepare the answers and avoid a lot of uhhhs and ummms and other pauses.

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

149 Sarah Palin is a nice girl. I'd certainly hit it. And she has solid conservative instincts. But she's no leader. We need someone else in 2012.

150 Rush obviously fed her the questions beforehand so that she could prepare the answers and avoid a lot of uhhhs and ummms and other pauses.

Yes, obviously.  Keep telling yourself that, maybe it will become true with enough repetition.

151 ROLOL with all due respect shove it up your ass. I do not know which one of your comments is more stupid so that is a response to both of them.

152 All three of your comments now.

153 139:

You have no clue what you are talking about, do you?

0bama got 53%. McShame got 46%. The other 1% or so went to Bob Barr and assorted third party candidates who had no chance of actually winning even a single state.

I voted for McCain because I prefer a slap in the face to a sledgehammer in the balls. That is all.

154 140

139

Huh?

Posted by: Mr. Pink at November 17, 2009 01:32 PM (SqAkN)

 

I must be telepathic. Or maybe it was deja vu. Somehow, I knew that you would say that, Pinky me lad.

155

We need someone else in 2012.

Paul Ryan 2012!

156

"Entire posts deleted out of fear that Little Charles Johnson might say something bad."

I wouldn't even type something that stupid with a sockpuppet.

157 146 No offense, but this blog sucks lately.

Entire posts deleted out of fear that Little Charles Johnson might say something bad.

Entire Sundays come and go with just one or two posts, neither of which is related to NFL football.

I would not donate to this blog, in this economic environment. Maybe after 2010. But you guys need to step it up!

Posted by: ROLOL at November 17, 2009 01:39 PM (epKy4)

No offense, but you suck. I don't believe they need to step it up but I do believe you should probably step on out. I gave my $$$ --proudly. When I get home tonight and scrounge all my $1s I'l be back to give more. I like to spread the wealth that way.

158

No offense, but this blog sucks lately.

Entire posts deleted out of fear that Little Charles Johnson might say something bad.

Entire Sundays come and go with just one or two posts, neither of which is related to NFL football.

I would not donate to this blog, in this economic environment. Maybe after 2010. But you guys need to step it up!

 

I'm sorry could you site examples what i highlighted above?

159 Rush obviously fed her the questions beforehand so that she could prepare the answers and avoid a lot of uhhhs and ummms and other pauses.

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Even assuming you're correct, even you admit that SHE prepared the answers, correct?  So, what difference does it make if they are still her answers?

Jackass.

How is what you said any different than Barry using his teleprompter to avoid the umms and ahhs?

160 cite*

161 If you don't think Rush gave Palin the questions beforehand, then you are a credulous drone.

Letterman gave Hillary the questions beforehand in 2000. This kinda shit happens.

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

162

But she's no leader.

posted by: ROLOL at November 17, 2009 01:42 PM (epKy4)

I also noted that trait after she fucked up Alaska by solidifying the working relationship between Alaska and the oil companies, and how dare she sell the Governor's airplane to save taxpayer money. 

PS  - Sarah wasn't bopping Levi the ingrate.

163 Letterman gave Hillary the questions beforehand in 2000. This kinda shit happens.

could you cite this? or any of your claims?

164

"I must be telepathic. Or maybe it was deja vu. Somehow, I knew that you would say that, Pinky me lad."

Probably because you heard me say that last night while I was in your mothers bedroom. I was just as confused by your comment as I was by seeing her naked.

165 156:

The Knoxville Horror post from a couple weeks ago was deleted after one commenter made some controversial comments. The reason given? Charles Johnson could have learned about it!

Seriously. Ask around. It happened.

166 158:

- The Knoxville Horror post, which was deleted without explanation, except in the comments of another post.

- Last Sunday. That would be two days ago. Google it.

167 Do we get a t-shirt if we give over a certain amount?

168 If there's a moderator around, looks like we might want a cleanup on #103 in the Headlines comments thread.

169

I must be telepathic. Or maybe it was deja vu. Somehow, I knew that you would say that, Pinky me lad.

Posted by: seriously at November 17, 2009 01:45 PM (Cta0m

I don't know if you're telepathic but you are pathetic.  And unfunny and witless. You don't belong at this blog. 

170 No NFL thread????  Oh the humanity.

171

Just discovered this site a couple months ago and I love it! It's the first thing I check when I get back to the hooch.  This is my first post so I just want to say thanks to all of you for the much-needed humor.  Question- I've heard you all talking about a possible get together next year- when is that going to happen and is it open to even casual visitors such as myself? I get back to the States in February and would love a vacation with some fun conservatives!

172 163:

Do you know how to use Google?

Just type "Letterman" "Hillary" "2000" "Senate." And then read and enjoy.

173

"coblogger" = "cob logger."

FIFY

174

Do we get a t-shirt if we give over a certain amount?

Its all about the t-shirts.

175

Don't be fooled by ROLOL, it's actually Miss Cleo of Psychic Friends Network who is prescient and knows the future.  She's now out of jail for fraud and posting on AoS at the bequest of Miss Axelrod.

176
Looks like we might go most of today without an update, too.

177

171

Camp Victory? I heard that post is awesome now. Trailers, Wi-fi, and freakin Burger king.

178

Seriously, you hit the nail on the head re our maturity level and then you hit the nail in your head with the Palin comments.  Seriously, move on.

East Saint Louis, I lived in St. Louis nine years.  Accidentally ended up in ESTL one night.  Ran five red lights serially getting out of there.  I will not be going back.

Ace has to be doing fairly well with the Forzieri links.  That's the finest virtual store on the web.  Tons of fabulous and well-priced Italian trinkets.  Have ordered scarves and jewelry from there for three - four years direct from Florence.

Finally $25 for the big guy.  Third blog read each day only after that miscreant Drudge and Michelle.  But, Small Dead Animals is right on your heels.

179 I think I rather pleasure myself with sandpaper than google Hillary and David Letterman.

180

Looks like we might go most of today without an update, too.

Takes time to count all that money we gave Ace.

181 21 14 If you give an Ewok a flea dip he'll want some jam to go with it.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 17, 2009 10:19 AM (NtiET)

That sounds like something really dirty...

Posted by: Sofia at November 17, 2009 10:32 AM (GpIet)

Sofia, you're up on American culture, but I believe Ms. Radish is making sport of a children's book,  "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie" or some such.  I was about to compliment Monty on bringing teh funny, but HeatherRadish gets in some good ones too.

182

Just discovered this site a couple months ago and I love it! It's the first thing I check when I get back to the hooch.  This is my first post so I just want to say thanks to all of you for the much-needed humor.  Question- I've heard you all talking about a possible get together next year- when is that going to happen and is it open to even casual visitors such as myself? I get back to the States in February and would love a vacation with some fun conservatives.

Well, welcome aboard!

183

East Saint Louis, I lived in St. Louis nine years.  Accidentally ended up in ESTL one night.  Ran five red lights serially getting out of there.  I will not be going back.

But, but, we bought a banner!

184 169

I must be telepathic. Or maybe it was deja vu. Somehow, I knew that you would say that, Pinky me lad.

Posted by: seriously at November 17, 2009 01:45 PM (Cta0m

I don't know if you're telepathic but you are pathetic.  And unfunny and witless. You don't belong at this blog. 

Posted by: polynikes at November 17, 2009 01:51 PM (m2CN7)

 

Aw gee, now you've gone and hurt my feelings.

I've got to hand it to you, though. YOU are very funny.  LOL

_{(Pssssst, is polynikes what passes for an intelligent life form here?)}

185

Mark in Baghdad at November 17, 2009 01:51 PM (WSEbI)

Also welcome aboard and thanks for manning the lines.  The get together is scheduled for either Vegas or Texas or East St Louis sometime early next year.

186
@Mark in Baghdad

Ain't nothing definitive yet, other than "Vegas!" and sometime next spring.  February will be plenty of time, in any case everything is still in the planning stages.  Keep hitting the blog, details will follow at some point, no doubt.

187 Greinke wins the Cy Young!!! Whoo hoo!

188 Ace: you know that money I just sent your way? Spend it quickly while it's still worth something. Apparently by 2011, we'll be using twenties to plug the gaps in our squatter's shanties. Upside: large herds of free-range hobos will once again roam the land.

189

I don't know if you're telepathic but you are pathetic.  And unfunny and witless. You don't belong at this blog. 

Posted by: polynikes at November 17, 2009 01:51 PM (m2CN7)

^ he he he ...., what a maroon.^

190

How is what you said any different than Barry using his teleprompter to avoid the umms and ahhs?

Totally different. Palin probably wrote out her own answers. With me, the big guy just says whatever I roll for him.

191 Greinke wins the Cy Young!!! Whoo hoo!

He had a great year and he definitely deserved it.  I'm surprised he won it though, I thought Obama was a lock for this year's AL Cy Young.

192

Posted by: Mark in Baghdad at November 17, 2009 01:51 PM (WSEbI)

Mark, thank you for your service and putting up with all the BS of the sandbox.  Hope to see lots more of you.  Oh, and thank your buds for us, too!

193

Greinke wins the Cy Young!!! Whoo hoo!

Excellent - Zach deserved it. Actually use some film of him to coach my son's baseball team. Great pitcher. And, in about 3 years, he will probably look really good in Yankee pinstripes.

 

194

171

Camp Victory? I heard that post is awesome now. Trailers, Wi-fi, and freakin Burger king.

I'm actually on Camp Liberty, but yeah, it's a whole lot better than it was in 05/06.  I'm in my trailer now on wi-fi. Last time it was a tent with the Camel Express, so I can't complain.

195 189

I don't know if you're telepathic but you are pathetic.  And unfunny and witless. You don't belong at this blog. 

Posted by: polynikes at November 17, 2009 01:51 PM (m2CN7)

^ he he he ...., what a maroon.^

What kinda moron sockpuppets so he can respond to his own comments?

196 Done. I nominate this site to be the first shut down when Obmination arises!

197

Posted by: RushBabe at November 17, 2009 02:07 PM (LKkE

Thanks Rushbabe, I'll let em know!

198 And, in about 3 years, he will probably look really good in Yankee pinstripes.

Oh, dude.

199
OT:  love to hear the dems tell us how awful a candidate Palin would be for the R's.  No matter what you think of her, she scares the shit out of the trash on the left, dem and republican.

200 but I believe Ms. Radish is making sport of a children's book,  "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie" or some such

Sofia, RushBabe--Heh heh, yes, that was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read "Give An Ewok A Flea Dip."

It's a whole series now.  Moose a Muffin, Cat a Cupcake, Pig a Pancake, Moron a Minneapolis Mineshaft...

201 Thanks for your service, Mark in Baghdad!  Good to hear there are morons in Iraq.  That makes me feel safe.

I hit that tip jar, too.  Keep up the good work, ace, and get the conference info out there.

202

Oh, dude.

Sorry, Jewells, but it is what it is. Barring an injury Greinke's next contract is going to be through the roof. I can't see the Royals coughing up the dough its gonna cost to keep him there. Plus, he is competative. I understand the small market thing and like a team like the Twins, who can continue to win despite a limited payroll. But by the time Greinke hits the free agent market, the Yankees will be free of some higher contracts (Posada) and probably have some guys they can't cut loose be willing to take less coin (Jeter) and be ready to spend.

203 Are all contributors on strike until the pledge drive shows results or is it just a really slow news day?

204 If they ever give a Cy Young Life Time Award, it would go hands down to Mariano Rivera.

205 He had a great year and he definitely deserved it.  I'm surprised he won it though, I thought Obama was a lock for this year's AL Cy Young.

Posted by: gau at November 17, 2009 02:07 PM (n1uMU)

I wanted to vote for Obama for the pro bowl this year.

As punter.

For both teams.

Alas they won't allow write-ins.

206

Looks like we might go most of today without an update, too.

Remember me.

207

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 02:17 PM (V9SYy) .

I know you are right, but it still hurts to even think about.  I have hated the Yanks since the late 70's.  Love my Royals and would love to see them win another series before I die.

208 I know you are right, but it still hurts to even think about. I have hated the Yanks since the late 70's. Love my Royals and would love to see them win another series before I die. Posted by: Jewells at November 17, 2009 02:21 PM (l/N7H) I hope your young and in good health?

209

If they ever give a Cy Young Life Time Award, it would go hands down to Mariano Rivera.

No, I think if they ever gave a Cy Young Life Time Award it would go to......Cy Young (over 500 lifetime wins - the one baseball rcord that will never, ever, ever get broken)

210 So I'm pretty new at this (and this may be a dumb question) but is there a way to update the posts without having to refresh the whole page? The internet is ridiculous here...

211 149 Sarah Palin is a nice girl. I'd certainly hit it. And she has solid conservative instincts. But she's no leader. We need someone else in 2012.

Posted by: ROLOL at November 17, 2009 01:42 PM (epKy4)

Dear Mr. Concern Troll, fuck you.

212

I know you are right, but it still hurts to even think about.  I have hated the Yanks since the late 70's.  Love my Royals and would love to see them win another series before I die.

Try being a Cubs fan.

213 No, I think if they ever gave a Cy Young Life Time Award it would go to......Cy Young (over 500 lifetime wins - the one baseball rcord that will never, ever, ever get broken) Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 02:22 PM (V9SYy) How many Rings does Cy Young have?

214

I hope your young and in good health.

I have not yet begun to defile myself.

215

Umm, let's see if I've got this right.

Pinky can't come up with a rational agrument. So he resorts first to pettiness, and then to cheap shots, and then to childish and inept ad hominem attacks. LOL

216 LOL means he pwned you.

217 O/T  Rush just said Tom Coburn has succeeded in getting the ENTIRE deathcare bill read on the house floor.  This could take days!  Woohoo!

218
Rush obviously fed her the questions beforehand so that she could prepare the answers and avoid a lot of uhhhs and ummms and other pauses.


So do you think any president or presidential candidate takes questions completely off the hook?Why would you think that's some sort of prerequisite of any potential POTUS?

219

I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Posted by: Jewells at November 17, 2009 02:25 PM (l/N7H)

I know, let's have a spelling contest.

220

hek noo

221 Slow news day?

222

How many Rings does Cy Young have?

How many awards does Marianno hav named after him? And the "how many ring" thing is a bit of a red herring argument. Ferguson Jenkins has zero. Bradden Looper has 2. Tell me, who is the better pitcher.

Hey, I respect Marianno and there is no question he is the best closer in the game. But, if they were renaming the award today, I don't see it being the Marianno Riveria award.

223 GALLUP AT 50% AGAIN ALERT!

Hi folks,

Once again, Gallup has Obama at 50% Approval.  Today's change was quite dramatic as he lost 3 points on the approve and gained 4 on the disapprove in one day.  Since Gallup is a 3 day moving Average, this means that Obama likely polled sub-50% yesterday to create a 3 point drop.

But we have seen this before.  Gallup has had Obama at 50% about 8 times now, only to have him stay there for 3 or 4 days, then miraculously rebound for 4 to 6 points before falling again.

So, will THIS be the time?  Will Gallup actually allow THE ONE to go below 50%?  Of course this will make news since even the MSM seems to respect Gallup (although after their recent showings, I have no idea why?)

P.S., As far as I can tell, Obama has had about 2 weeks now with nothing but bad news from every angle.  Only the rallying stock market has been good, but people don't seem to be giving Obama credit for that as they should not.  The rising stock markets has more to do with the big boys shorting the dollar and using the proceeds to buy stocks than anything else, but that is another story.

224

"Pinky can't come up with a rational agrument. So he resorts first to pettiness, and then to cheap shots, and then to childish and inept ad hominem attacks. LOL"

What am I supposed to be arguing? I am just calling you an idiot and making fun of you. Why don't you make up another sockpuppet so you can type LOL again? That will show me!

225 OT. Ford Fusion wins Motor Trends Car of the Year for 2010.

You know that is eating at Bambi and Granny Botox.

226 Hey, I respect Marianno and there is no question he is the best closer in the game. But, if they were renaming the award today, I don't see it being the Marianno Riveria award. Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 02:31 PM (V9SYy) I never suggested that, but they can rename the "Fireman" of the Year Award after him after he retires.

227 we can haz open thread?

228

You know that is eating at Bambi and Granny Botox.

Well, that and "The One" didn't get the AL Cy Young award.

229 Time to gear up the WH attack machine and go after Motor Trend for its anti-American activities.

230 i am beginning to think this thread isn't a request, but a threat. The unspoken threat? We won't post another thread until we receive a certain amount of donations.

231

"What am I supposed to be arguing? I am just calling you an idiot and making fun of you. Why don't you make up another sockpuppet so you can type LOL again? That will show me!" - Pinky

 

Whoa, that was a snappy come-back. LOL

232

 OT. Ford Fusion wins Motor Trends Car of the Year for 2010.

You know that is eating at Bambi and Granny Botox.

hmm. I like the way the new ford focus's look. If i do get a new car next year, or the year after, i def won't be buying GM.

233

I never suggested that, but they can rename the "Fireman" of the Year Award after him after he retires

And they probably will, though, you could make an argument for Rollie Fingers, Goose Gossage or Bruce Sutter for guys who really changed the way the game looks at a closer.  And, it probably isn't fair to compare Marianno to Cy Young. Different roles as pitchers. Plus, the save was not an official stat until 1968 (or so, I could be off on that). But, in the afterlife, if I am putting together a team, I'd take Cy over Marianno first.

234 #217.  What bill?  Is there a real version in the Senate.  I thought it was vapor? 

235
What is this, PBS pledge week?

We need a new and substantive post!

236

I know, let's have a spelling contest

Say when.

237

With a contribution of a hundred or more, you get an Earth Friendly Hemp Tote Bag!

238 218 Rush obviously fed her the questions beforehand so that she could prepare the answers and avoid a lot of uhhhs and ummms and other pauses.

So do you think any president or presidential candidate takes questions completely off the hook?Why would you think that's some sort of prerequisite of any potential POTUS?

Posted by: bulwark at November 17, 2009 02:28 PM (jvrmc)

Because we know Barack Obama is sooooooo good at ad libbing.

We are living in the era of the intellectual con artist.  Obama is a master of it.  Most academic subjects today are about masking dumb ideas with rhetoric.  Here's an example:

LAWRENCE O'DONNELL: Meantime, Rush Limbaugh calls Palin`s book, quote, "truly one of the most substantive policy books I've read," end quote. Rush, I believe you. I cannot imagine you, in full recline on your Gulfstream, Cuban cigar in hand, struggling to get through a more substantive policy book than Sarah`s index and footnote free, score settling campaign memoir. No mind numbing charts or graphs, no big words, no scholarly Latin phrases, like caveat emptor. And I bet the pictures are, like, amazing.

So, to Larry, true intellect and scholarship is a chart or a graph.  It doesn't matter what it's about, but if it has a chart or a graph, it must be mathy or something.  And you have to have big words.  To Lawrence O'Donnell, you have to show that you're smart and having an oversized vocabulary does it.  "Ass" is a short enough word to get my point across about Larry.  I could use "ignoramus" or "imbecile" or something else to serve no other purpose than try to inflate myself in a supercilious manner.

And a Latin phrase?  Like "caveat emptor"?  That's the height of intellectual discourse for Larry?  Buyer beware?  Why would she use that phrase anyway?

Oh, yeah.  In the chapter about Obama.

Larry, the smart people are the ones who make smart decisions, the ones who told you months ago about the shit and about the way it would splatter off of the fan.  Among them are Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh.

And they pwned you, if you are familiar with that particular Latin phrase.

239

I know, let's have a spelling contest.

I was told spelling was optional if I participated.

240

let's have a spelling contest

... Kat Fud Trapp!

241
i am beginning to think this thread isn't a request, but a threat.

WHOAAAAAAA, whoa, whoa, don't be a jamook there, Ben.  Here, have some aspirin.

242 hey ace, just apply for some of that stimulus money, since "saved or created" is a bunch of obamanomic magical phooeiness. in the meantime, I'm enjoying funemployment, oh yeah..living the dream with crackers and water.

243 I was going to wait until after holiday spending was out of the way, but since I finally, after ten years, came out ahead in the Breeders' Cup I decided to share some of my winnings with the blogshpere's Master of  Disaster _{^{(and I mean that in a complimentary way).}} Bottom's Up Big Guy!

244 Sic Semper Tyrannis - oh, wait, wrong latin phrase to use around the White House.

245

I know, let's have a spelling contest

Say when.

You're no daisy.

246 Do you accept Chinese Yuan?

247 223 GALLUP AT 50% AGAIN ALERT!

So, will THIS be the time?  Will Gallup actually allow THE ONE to go below 50%?  Of course this will make news since even the MSM seems to respect Gallup (although after their recent showings, I have no idea why?)

Posted by: Bill Mitchell at November 17, 2009 02:32 PM (Gm9rd)   This will be the time.  The news of him moving the KSM trial to NYC and the picture of him bending over in Japan will allow the 50% barrier to finally be broken.

248

i am beginning to think this thread isn't a request, but a threat. The unspoken threat? We won't post another thread until we receive a certain amount of donations.

Ace's Razor: Never attribute to clever planning that which can be attributed to sleeping all day.

249 Speaking of created or saved, there's a job opening in Buffalo for a head coach.  Praise Obama!

250
Ace's Razor: Never attribute to clever planning that which can be attributed to sleeping all day.

I'm gonna be so disappointed when we find out that's the case, instead of Ace hitting the Bada-Bing! with all the donations.

251

Speaking of created or saved, there's a job opening in Buffalo for a head coach.  Praise Obama!

Give it to T.O. Every play would be simple - throw the ball to T.O.

252

Hey Muttonhead,

  Anybody here with any brains already has your number.

  You're disagreeable just for the sake of being argumentative.

  They must have medications there at that home that will mellow out grumpy, old coots like you. Ask at the nursing station.

253 Our stimulus contributions have led to 7 blog posts being saved...in the draft folder.

254 I think i'll mail him a wad of sticky singles so he has some loose stripper cash. Enough of this Thai tranny midget crap. Treat yourself brutha.

255

Do you accept Chinese Yuan?

Right now, its worth more than I am.

256
Remember that attention whore from yesterday?

She deleted that post.

257 This will be the time.  The news of him moving the KSM trial to NYC and the picture of him bending over in Japan will allow the 50% barrier to finally be broken.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at November 17, 2009 02:47 PM (kn+jW)

Let's just say that I think they rounded up 49.2% to 50% a few times already.  Adjusted the partisan breakdown.  Etc., etc.

258 Please join me in a prayer for President Obama:

"Let his days be few; and let another take his office"
- Psalms 109, 8

259

Anybody know who that guy is talking to?

 

260 No offense, but this blog sucks lately.
Posted by: ROLOL at November 17, 2009 01:39 PM (epKy4)

Then go elsewhere you pigfucker.

261 249 Speaking of created or saved, there's a job opening in Buffalo for a head coach.  Praise Obama!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at November 17, 2009 02:48 PM (NtiET)

About fucking time. .420 winning percentage? Good riddance.

262 Please join me in a prayer for President Obama: "Let his days be few; and let another take his office" - Psalms 109, 8 Posted by: wHodat at November 17, 2009 02:55 PM (+sBB4) I like the one from Fiddler better: " May G-D bless and keep the Obama far away from us"

263 249 Speaking of created or saved, there's a job opening in Buffalo for a head coach.  Praise Obama!

Who is the worst and cheapest candidate out there for Buffalo to hire in the off season? He'll be the coach next year... It never fails.

264

Who is the worst and cheapest candidate out there for Buffalo to hire in the off season? He'll be the coach next year... It never fails.

You know, I'm not busy right now.

265

Who is the worst and cheapest candidate out there for Buffalo to hire in the off season? He'll be the coach next year... It never fails.

I got a hunch I will be available.

266 Why doesn't ace just levy a tax on each poster? It's not fair that some people post more than others, we need equitable post distribution.

267

Who is the worst and cheapest candidate out there for Buffalo to hire in the off season? He'll be the coach next year... It never fails.

If they need a new General Manager, I got some time.

268 I've got about another week...

269 You know I shoulda been given a headcoaching job but some idiot thought it would be a nice idea to hire some moron by the name of Jim Zorn and ship me off to New Orleans. Now look at us, undefeated.

270 You know I shoulda been given a headcoaching job but some idiot thought it would be a nice idea to hire some moron by the name of Jim Zorn and ship me off to New Orleans. Now look at us, undefeated.

which is good, Shit Stain Brees deserves a ring

271

You know I shoulda been given a headcoaching job but some idiot thought it would be a nice idea to hire some moron by the name of Jim Zorn and ship me off to New Orleans. Now look at us, undefeated.

Gregg, I feel the same way. St. Louis could have hired me. Instead, they went with Scott Linehan. How did that work out?

272 I'm gonna be so disappointed when we find out that's the case, instead of Ace hitting the Bada-Bing! with all the donations.

[SCENE: The neighborhood Val-U-Rite Liquor Mart. ACE is standing at the counter, waving a crumpled, smudged, and barely-legible print-out at the fat dullard behind the counter.]

ACE: Look! Look! I gots money! I gots all the money! I ain't asking for credit!
DULLARD: A screencap of a PayPal account page ain't money, dude. You got cash or a credit card, I can give you the case of vodka. You got this paper, I can't give you the stink off my shit.
ACE: I don't want no stink off no shit! I want my weekly case of Val-U-Rite's finest!
DULLARD: (Shrugs.) You pay, you play.
ACE: (Waving the paper angrily.) Lookit here! Lookit! Money! Phat cash! Practically phat cash, anyway. As good as.
DULLARD: Yeah, yeah, last week you were in here trying to trade me your "Magic: The Gathering" cards for two bottles of Absolut. Do I have to call the cops again, or are you going to leave quietly?
ACE: Those cards are worth way more than that Scandi-piss Absolut tries to pass off as vodka anyway. But lookit! (Waves paper again.) This is real, actual money--kind of. I check my PayPal this morning 'cause I think I had like a dollar or two in it, and I'm like, what the fuck, dude, 'cause there's like way more than a couple of bucks in there! So I dunno, maybe that fuckin' website I run is starting to finally pay off or something, right? Or maybe that ransom situation finally resolved itself. The point is, I'm kind of jonesing here, you know what I mean?
DULLARD: Cash, credit, or get the fuck out of my face. Pick one.
ACE: (Jamming the paper back in his pocket, voice thick with unshed tears.) Oh, yeah, you think I'm coming back here after this kind of treatment? Yeah. ABC Liquor has better shit than you assholes do anyway. They'll throw in a bonus bottle of Mogen-David or Night Train! They won't treat me like some fucking derelict! They know what customer loyalty is! Fuck you guys! (Storms out.)

[CREDITS ROLL.]

273 Sarah Palin has a new Twitter acct. No updates yet. It's "SarahPalinUSA"

274 Don't look at me.  Ralph won't let me coach anymore.

275 Obama bows funny

276 i am beginning to think this thread isn't a request, but a threat. The unspoken threat? We won't post another thread until we receive a certain amount of donations.

Posted by: Ben at November 17, 2009 02:37 PM (wuv1c)

there, fixed it for you, dippy.

277

Why doesn't ace just levy a tax on each poster? It's not fair that some people post more than others, we need equitable post distribution.

I warned you about egalitariansm. 

278 Hef Buffalo, I am tanned, rested and oh, so ready!

279 Ben at November 17, 2009 03:07 PM (wuv1c)

He should just create a profanity jar. Every time someone curses, they need to donate 10 cents to the site. Ace will be a millionaire in like an hour.

280 He should just create a profanity jar. Every time someone curses, they need to donate 10 cents to the site. Ace will be a millionaire in like an hour.

Posted by: lorien1973 at November 17, 2009 03:22 PM (IhQuA)

Fuck that! oh wait...

281 I will probably be unemployed in early January if anyone needs a head coach. I might take the next several years off though to take the time to photoshop my facial scars out of my picture on match.com though.

282

He should just create a profanity jar. Every time someone curses, they need to donate 10 cents to the site. Ace will be a millionaire in like an hour.

That long?

283 But, I will be broke in 15 minutes

284 Sorry Ace, The new Assassin's Creed comes out today.

285 Hey if your looking at Norv - remeber, I was part of those Cowboy teams of the early 90s as well.

286 It's 3:30 in NY and still no Ace?  Tell the truth, LauraW, this is bail money you're collecting, isn't it?

287 I used to like coach Lovie Smith here in Chicago, but with the way my Bears have played this season, if Chicago could get a good deal on some Val-U-Rite vodka then maybe a trade may be worthwhile, However we don't want Matt Millen.......

288 I took over ace's PayPal account.  Keep sending American greenbacks.  Can buy more Russian girls.

289

However we don't want Matt Millen.......

You like to trade, boy, have I got a deal for you.

290 Ace's Razor: Never attribute to clever planning that which can be attributed to sleeping all day being passed out in an alcoholic haze while encrusted with a couple of gallons of dried effluent, surrounded by hobo cadavers and plastic vodka jugs.


FIFY

291 Well, we have coverd football and baseball this afternoon - so, NBA time. Heard Allen Iverson is now a free agent.

292

Hey Dan you are supposed to use your hand to move my mouth when you talk.

293 Not much going on here today.

294

I laugh at you complaining about coaches.

Since 1969

Chuck Noll

Bill Cowher

Mike Tomlin

 

40 years, 3 coaches, 5 superbowls, countless playoff appearances, Playoff wins, AFC Championships, Division Championships, and no cheerleaders.

 

295 I used to like coach Lovie Smith here in Chicago, but with the way my Bears have played this season, if Chicago could get a good deal on some Val-U-Rite vodka then maybe a trade may be worthwhile, However we don't want Matt Millen.......

it couldn't possibly be due to the fact that you guys have a lot of injuries on defense (which is par for the course), no wide receivers, non-existent running game and a QB that is flaky at best.

296

God I hate Steelers fans.

297 Well, we have coverd football and baseball this afternoon - so, NBA time. Heard Allen Iverson is now a free agent.

its all about Brandon Jennings. Us Bucks fans have a reason to be optimistic. Of course, let's see if he is still on the team in four years or in jail but at the moment, it feels great

298 Monty, do you have any idea how annoying it is to clean diet coke off my monitor?  Good thing it's a work one so I don't care.

299 I'm a total blonde moronette. I assumed this was the only post of the day. They just bumped it to the top. Pretty sneaky, sis!

300 I would be happy to support you in this great American cause that is so vital to our nation's artistic vision. Please submit your application for funding and we will process your payment right away.

301 God I hate Steelers fans.

Jib.  Newsletter.

302

While I'm talking sports  and local news, I think Chicago would be willing to trade some Val-U-Rite vodka for Cubs pitchers who could , you know, actaully pitch.......

and some Bears D line guys who aren't dependent on Brian Urlacher.........

and a mayor who isn't bribing IOC folks in his desperate attempt to land a Olympics here..........

And a Senate Seat warmer who actully makes POTUS look bright in comparison.......

I could go on, but now I have a sudden desire to drink some Val-U Rite vodka myself.....

 

 

 

 

303 I've done my part so that Ace can buy enough Val-U-Rite to rinse the taste out of his mouth after his "side job".

'Cuz that's just the kind of guy I am this week.

304 I just read on another site that Iran sentenced 5 protesters of the election to death. Nice friends you got there Bambi.

305

I'm a total blonde moronette. I assumed this was the only post of the day. They just bumped it to the top. Pretty sneaky, sis!

Yeah, but the only other thread afer this one is the NFL pick thread. I've seen my NFL picks. I'd rather spend an afternoon with a collection of ex-girlfriends describing my faults.

306

And a Senate Seat warmer who actully makes POTUS look bright in comparison.......

But, but, I am a TRAILBLAZER!

307

I think Chicago would be willing to trade some Val-U-Rite vodka for Cubs pitchers who could , you know, actaully pitch.......

Hey, you had us!

308

O/T:  I was just thinking the Whitehouse is having Holder bring KSM into court in NYC for a show trial because it needs a distraction.

And this will be the distraction that keeps on giving.

They'll spend months talking about Bush and Cheney, for example.

309

Is this tax deductable?

Can I mail him a 1/2 pound of  meth? I'm sure he can sell it for more than I get around here. I mean, he's a f'ng lawyer, it's not like it's beneath him!

310 Now that I've donated to the "cause", can I stop sending checks to DrewM?

311 If Pittsburgh is so great why don't Steelers fans move back there? Or maybe it is the same sort of pitiful story you get with all bandwagon fans. Always have some long ass story to explain away the douchebaggery of rooting for a team thousands of miles away in a place they at most flew over. "Oh all my family including my second cousin's boyfriend are Steelers fans." or "Oh I lived there for a week when I was a kid". Just admit you are a bandwagon jumper and move on. I swear when I am driving my foot begs to push down on the gas pedal to ramming speed when I see the car in front of me with a nice brand new Steelers bumper sticker. The damn thing will be scratched off and be replaced with a Lakers, Colts, or Yankees bumper sticker anyway.

312 I used to like coach Lovie Smith here in Chicago, but with the way my Bears have played this season, if Chicago could get a good deal on some Val-U-Rite vodka then maybe a trade may be worthwhile, However we don't want Matt Millen.......

HAHA!! Yes, its all Lovie's fault

313 It's 3:30 in NY and still no Ace?  Tell the truth, LauraW, this is bail money you're collecting, isn't it?

Posted by: Peaches at November 17, 2009 03:26

BINGO! My 1st thought, exactly. Actually only real thought this week.

314

Yeah, but the only other thread afer this one is the NFL pick thread. I've seen my NFL picks. I'd rather spend an afternoon with a collection of ex-girlfriends describing my faults.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 03:38 PM (V9SYy)

Please save that for the ONT. Oh and make sure Dang Straights and TexasJew are around. They loooooove those discussions about bad first dates and internet dating. Make sure to involve them please

315 313 It's 3:30 in NY and still no Ace?  Tell the truth, LauraW, this is bail money you're collecting, isn't it?

Posted by: Peaches at November 17, 2009 03:26

BINGO! My 1st thought, exactly. Actually only real thought this week.

Posted by: hutch1200

I'm thinking it's for penicillin. Vegas can be a bitch.

316 306

And a Senate Seat warmer who actully makes POTUS look bright in comparison.......

But, but, I am a TRAILBLAZER!

Posted by: Roland Burris

 

 

Nice expensive gravesite you got there Roland. Now if you could just speak in complete sentences we may be on to something, I've seen you on the senate defense cmte. hearings, your lack of Nat. Security knowledge is matched only by Durbin's lack of same. Hmm, think I just saw a pattern here........

317

Please save that for the ONT. Oh and make sure Dang Straights and TexasJew are around. They loooooove those discussions about bad first dates and internet dating. Make sure to involve them please

Well, there was this one time at band camp.......

318 The damn thing will be scratched off and be replaced with a Lakers, Colts, or Yankees bumper sticker anyway.

Oh, don't get me started. 

319
Make sure to involve them please

Hey, kbdabear likes those introspective, whiny, emo discussions too.  Gotta get him in attendance.

320 We are not discussing my love life on the ONT.

321 320 We are not discussing my love life on the ONT.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 03:56 PM (V9SYy)

We could discuss my love life...except for the fact that it doesn't exist.

322 We are not discussing my love life on the ONT.

I've always assumed the reason we're there is because we don't have one.  But, hey, maybe that's just me.

323

It's 4 o'clock P.M.  Good morning, LauraW.

Palin's FaceBook just turned over the 1,000,000 mark.

324

Palin's FaceBook just turned over the 1,000,000 mark.

 

But Ace's site meter is at 61,357,176. I want to be 62,000,000. I think there is a prize involved.

325

If Pittsburgh is so great why don't Steelers fans move back there? Or maybe it is the same sort of pitiful story you get with all bandwagon fans. Always have some long ass story to explain away the douchebaggery of rooting for a team thousands of miles away in a place they at most flew over. "Oh all my family including my second cousin's boyfriend are Steelers fans." or "Oh I lived there for a week when I was a kid". Just admit you are a bandwagon jumper and move on. I swear when I am driving my foot begs to push down on the gas pedal to ramming speed when I see the car in front of me with a nice brand new Steelers bumper sticker. The damn thing will be scratched off and be replaced with a Lakers, Colts, or Yankees bumper sticker anyway.

 

I've lived in pittsburgh all my life, so I will not concede anything to you. As for our fans in other cities? They fall into two categories.

1. Pittsburghers who had to leave because of the lack of jobs, but are so loyal to the team they still root for them where ever they live. It's called the Pittsburgh Diaspora and its been going on since the 1980s. I don't know why you wouldn't have respect for people who left town to find better jobs, but maintained a loyalty to their home town.

2. People who are not from Pittsburgh but love the Steelers anyway. I would compare them to those Yankees/Red Sock fans who are not from New York or Boston. If they want to be fans, its fine with us, it helps explain why the Steelers merchandise is always consistantly in the top 3 in sales of any professional football team.

 

Either way it helps explain what there are so many steeler fans at steelers away games.

 

Concede to me your scrunt and move on

326 you're*

327 So, Laura, what was the charge?  Or are we talking a 72-hour hold?

328 How is this still the top post??
What's going on?

329 Ace is back. New thread at the top.

330 Our long national nightmare is over!

331 As soon as I get that cash from that nice Nigerian man.....

332 So . . . what's y'all's cut?

333 Can I send uggboots instead? Great for chasing hobos in the snow.

334

Please save that for the ONT. Oh and make sure Dang Straights and TexasJew are around. They loooooove those discussions about bad first dates and internet dating. Make sure to involve them please

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 17, 2009 03:46 PM (pLTLS)

That's true. As a happily married dad, seeing all the senseless misery and pathetic human suffering makes me happy to be out of the dating cesspool and behind a heavily locked door.

Gotta love that Schadenfreude, baby!

335 320 We are not discussing my love life on the ONT.

Posted by: Mallamutt at November 17, 2009 03:56 PM (V9SYy)

So you and that blind heifer just had a platonic relationship?

336

Posted by: Ben at November 17, 2009 04:04 PM (wuv1c)

You may want to read this about Shitsburgh. It was written by one of your own.

Pittsburgh Is Dead to Me!
Writer:TONY DEL PRETE, GIBSONIA 

Paying homage to Romero’s latest money fest, it’s time to admit it, all you yinzer zombies:  Pittsburgh is dead.  I know it’s a stake in the heart, but we are not America’s most livable city, nor the city of champions. That occurred a generation ago, when Dawn of the Dead debuted. No, today we’re more like an ongoing high school reunion, with nothing but faded memories of the glory days and the prospect of life in the land of the dead.

But what can we expect from a town where Donnie Iris is considered a rocker and the hokey-pokey an anthem; where prominent mouthpieces (sorry, Myr’n) promote Pittsburghese; where potholes outnumber the people; and where the populace responds to the boom of fireworks like Pavlov’s dogs?

 

With the second-oldest county in the U.S. at our core, it’s unfair to blame the many optimists trying to revive Picksburgh. The reality is that until all of the provincial, stubborn bigots of the Steel City’s legacy die off, this city will continue its slide toward becoming a ghost town. And if we continue to live in the past, then we can’t expect or envision much of a future. Personally, I don’t hold out much hope. So I’ll offer some resuscitation strategies of my own while planning where I’ll retire once my kids grow up (and hopefully move away).

 

First, let’s replace the dinosaurs around town with, well, dinosaurs. We can erect likenesses of the ’70s Stillers on every corner. (Hell, for a couple of bucks or a Primanti’s sandwich, we might be able get some of the real guys to stand there.) That way, when people mumble about the Immaculate Reception to kids who could care less, at least they’ll have some idea of what’s going on inside the rotting brains of Steeler Nation. The Pirates and Penguins will be represented with holographs of their players -- which, to most Pittsburghers, never existed anyway.

 

During the day, various unemployed workers could collect turn-signal bulbs, ashtrays and other unused items from drivers, which can be sold to pay for fire and police protection. In school, children would be reminded that “ain’t” ain’t a word, but yinz need to study for a test ’n ’at. Both newspapers would reformat to become all opinion, all the time. Television stations will drop their “World in a Minute” segment to devote even more time to weather reports. Target, Wal-Mart and TJ Maxx would be the cornerstone of Plan F.

 

Then, each evening after work, giant speakers would blast the hokey-pokey -- “You put the right wing in, you kick the left wing out …” This could be followed by the Chicken Dance, which would mesmerize jaywalkers and gridlockers alike, prompting a Thriller dance-a-thon into the night. (Best big hair and most realistic hair plugs win Sophie Masloff screeching bobbleheads.)

 

Finally, when the skyline advertising is at its brightest, we can celebrate “mill night” with orange spotlights, sparkling confetti and smog machines reminiscent of our fossil-fuel heydays. All of this would obviously culminate with a nightly fireworks display. Afterward, as everyone returns home to the suburbs, “We are Family” would play incessantly on every radio station in town (except WYEP, which would take the opportunity to beg for even more money).

 

I don’t mean to rain on everyone’s parade, but that’s a typical forecast for Deadtown so it shouldn’t matter. If you’re going to stick around until this horror movie ends, then try to look on the bright side. When the latest multimillion-dollar boondoggle -- the underwater passage from Dahntahn to the stadiums -- is complete, you can call it The Funnel. Here, overpriced, unhealthy foods a la the arts festival can be sold complete with enough giveaways that pedestrians will wander aimlessly until their finals days, which, for me, can’t come soon enough. Rest In Pittsburgh (R.I.P.).

 

 

337

Ace, you're awesome.

Done and done.

338 Even my funemployed ass just threw him 25 Somoans. You pricks ante up or lauraw will have me hunt you pricks down.....Moron scalps are bringing big bucks these days!  

339 I'm in for 20....h/t Moe Lane @ Redstate.com for the vouch.

340 I love this blog, as much for the comments as the posts.  I come for the news and stay for the snark as they say.  Equally fun to watch the trolls get flamed.  One of the few blogs that must exist with a decent traffic level that doesn't have to be sensored by sign-in thingys.  I wish I had half the snark skills as folks like Laura W, Dave in Texas, Unclefacts and the rest of you knuckleheads.

Certainly will donate; few places I go for news, Fox for the headlines, Ace, PJTV and Mark Levin for the commentary.  Agreed, consider it a subscription as I quit the papers long ago.  Most of my donate-dollars go to specific political candidates, but I think it worthwhile to keep folks like Ace and Insta around.  Replace the talking head coastal lib media centers with our own!

341 Oh, and Sweasel for the art (and Slub too I guess but that weas has skillz)

342 I tried paying through PayPal, and there's a restriction on my account because some 3rd party tried to get into it.

I'll donate what I can as soon as the hold is off

343 I'll donate as soon as someone gives me a job.

344 Done. Ace & co, you rock.

345

Done.  Also, Ace is alpha without a doubt.

346

I'm actually on Camp Liberty, but yeah, it's a whole lot better than it was in 05/06.  I'm in my trailer now on wi-fi. Last time it was a tent with the Camel Express, so I can't complain.

Posted by: Mark in Baghdad at November 17, 2009 02:08 PM (WSEbI)

Mark, thank you so much for your service.  If we go to the Moronapalooza and you are there, the mister and I would like to buy you a drink.  We appreciate you guys and the sacrifices you make to keep us safe.  The U.S. military is amazing and awesome, and it breaks my heart that our CinC isn't worthy of your service.  God bless you and keep you safe.

Oh, and thank you Ace for all you and your fellow cob loggers do.  All those rounds of Cornhole...  I will hit teh tip jar.  This really is the best conservative blog out there with so many funny and smart posters. 

347 Thanks for the entertaining site, Ace.  I don't say much, but I read every day.

348 I'll hit the jar when I get paid on black Friday - getting a fat tuition reimbursement check from work, until then I just can't afford it.

349 OK, paid my respects to Pay Pal.  LauraW, thanks for doing the fund drive.  I think more people would donate if there was an address that they could mail a check to.  (A lot of people are uncomfortable giving their credit card info out online).  It may be something you guys might want to look into.  I know that Nam Grunt and others have expressed a desire to donate via check in mail in the past.

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351 Ace -- Thank you for the news and entertainment you provide me with...I'm now a proud, donating member of the audience!

352 donation made in penance for my profanity-laden post re Mount Hood shooter.

353

Dear @307

Well if you woulda stayed healthy.....

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