Ace of Spades HQ

November 29, 2008

Giants WR Burress Shoots Himself in the Leg
— Dave in Texas

That will certainly take your mind off a pulled hamstring.

Seems to be a lot of this going around. Ohio Police Chief shoots himself in the leg after giving his daughter a firearms safety lesson.

Unorthodox perhaps, but very effective.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 09:14 AM | Comments (39)
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Do the Giants have Excess & Surplus Moron Coverage for this?

Posted by: Fresh Air at November 29, 2008 09:26 AM (meVfb)

2 The foot hurts worse. Trust me.

Posted by: John Sidney McCain at November 29, 2008 09:28 AM (y5H4p)

3 Big blue wrecking crew. I think you're doing it wrong.

Posted by: Dash Rendar at November 29, 2008 09:31 AM (/TEUM)

4 Burress was just jealous that Donovan McNabb was getting massive media coverage, despite sucking on the field, by acting like a jackass off the field. So I'm guessing Plax thought I can either work my ass off rehabbing my hamstring, get back on the field and perform well or I can just one-up McNabb's stupidity by shooting myself in the leg in a nightclub. This may well be the most misguided cry for attention since Michael Vick started a dogfighting ring.

Posted by: Big E at November 29, 2008 09:34 AM (RWzXM)

You never hear about rednecks shooting themselves at nightclubs. Is that 'cuz we know how to handle our weapons or because we don't go clubbin'?

Posted by: innominatus at November 29, 2008 09:38 AM (H/+rB)

6 You know who this helps....

Posted by: Robert at November 29, 2008 09:43 AM (NVq9u)

7 Morons and firearms are a really toxic combination. The Giants superbowl run is likely over. they are still a formidable team, but not a great team.

Posted by: bob T at November 29, 2008 09:43 AM (DmlVS)

8 How can you be a great team when your player(s) are shooting themselves? LOL

Posted by: Robert at November 29, 2008 09:45 AM (NVq9u)

You never hear about rednecks shooting themselves at nightclubs. Is that 'cuz we know how to handle our weapons or because we don't go clubbin'?

Posted by: innominatus at November 29, 2008 02:38 PM (H/+rB)

Both Bubba.

LOL

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at November 29, 2008 09:56 AM (3IZGh)

10 Maybe they took firearms safety lessons from that DEA agent, you know, the one who was "the only person in this room qualified to handle this weapon".

Posted by: gebrauchshund at November 29, 2008 09:58 AM (pY77a)

11
Could it be that alcohol was involved? Just a guess ...

Posted by: Brown Line at November 29, 2008 10:02 AM (xYeJ1)

When your first name is Plaxico you'd better expect to get shot sooner or later. Might as well get it over with sooner...

Not as likely to be fatal either.

Posted by: ThomasD at November 29, 2008 10:06 AM (UK5R1)

13 Hmmmmm.

"You never hear about rednecks shooting themselves at nightclubs. Is that 'cuz we know how to handle our weapons or because we don't go clubbin'?"

Well "clubbin" for a redneck usually involves a good piece of hard <b>wood</b> and a defenseless cute <b>furry</b> animal ...

...

Ok I see the correlation there.

Posted by: memomachine at November 29, 2008 10:12 AM (f4Zt4)

Quickdraw Plaxico was simply practicing his holster moves. All hat and no cattle for this boy.

Posted by: Fish at November 29, 2008 10:13 AM (6Rihj)

15 The man can even catch bullets

Posted by: JavaJoe at November 29, 2008 10:16 AM (Am6n/)

16 As a Giants fan as I see this as a blessing in disguise. One, the guy was a distraction and wasn't doing anything anyways. And two, the team can focus on guys who will play and play their hardest. Get some new blood out there starting in his place. Domenik Hixon, Steve Smith, etc...

Posted by: Luthien at November 29, 2008 10:32 AM (dDD0C)

17 Pro Athlete + Firearm + Strip Club == Disaster In Progress

Posted by: Captain Hate at November 29, 2008 10:44 AM (QyCAU)

18 As a Giants fan, I've had enough of this tired act. He's got to go. Perhaps a criminal prosecution and Roger Goodell can occupy him while the team is busy steamrolling to another title.

Send his sorry ass to Detroit.

Posted by: JWF at November 29, 2008 10:44 AM (29kbu)

19 "You know who this helps...."

Domenik Hixon.

Many of us fans have been calling for him to start anyway.

Posted by: someone at November 29, 2008 10:45 AM (1wXl7)

In all honesty, I'm not surprised by "NFL Star Accidentally Shoot Self" as a headline.

I am surprised that it happened before we got an "NBA Star Shoots Teammate" headline, though.

Posted by: SuperCool at November 29, 2008 10:54 AM (a80B1)

"You know who this helps..."

Yeah, the 'Skins secondary on Sunday.

Posted by: SuperCool at November 29, 2008 10:58 AM (a80B1)

22 More Domenik Hixon. Sure. And more Steve Smith, Amani Toomer, Sinorice Moss, Boss, Jacobs, Ward, Bradshaw. Shit, give Mario Manningham a jersey and see what he can do. They can more than make up for him.

They're the top scoring team already with his meager contributions. He won't be missed.

Fuck him. He's the lone remaining cancer on this team. He's got to go.

Posted by: JWF at November 29, 2008 10:59 AM (29kbu)

23 Shit, and you guys talk about my gaffes?

Posted by: Crazy Joe Biden at November 29, 2008 11:02 AM (NLtVk)

24 Gird your err loins!

Posted by: Crazy Joe Biden at November 29, 2008 11:03 AM (NLtVk)

Hmmmm, Plaxico "beats his bitches" Burress ends up with lead poisoning?

Not exactly shocking.

I am sorta shocked that Pacman wasn't involved, however.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at November 29, 2008 11:24 AM (RWmCt)

26 So in New York its legal to carry a firearm into a night club?

And I thought Texas had loose gun laws.

Posted by: klrtz1 at November 29, 2008 11:26 AM (U+UDP)

27 @21 - He was already scratched for that game, so it didn't make a difference. But as I have said, and several others, the Giants can easily find someone to replace him. Hixon, Moss, Toomer, Smith, etc...

Posted by: Luthien at November 29, 2008 11:47 AM (dDD0C)

"7 Morons and firearms are a really toxic combination. The Giants superbowl run is likely over. they are still a formidable team, but not a great team"

you forgot about the alcohol

morons,firearms,and alcohol, a sure way to make sure Darwin was right

Posted by: DAVE IN SOCIALIST CHICAGO at November 29, 2008 01:45 PM (em3+o)

29 Burress has always been a bad guy. He's the poster child for the selfish, narcissistic professional athlete. Why is it that most of those guys are receivers or D-backs?

Posted by: ombudsman at November 29, 2008 02:35 PM (fWF4Q)

Lesseeeee........

Tank Johnson - check

Pacman Jones - check

Terrell "ME ME ME ME ME" Owens - check

Roy Williams - yeah, that Roy Williams, the Detroit disposal Roy Williams - check

There's probably a couple of other problem children I'm forgetting.

What's the over/under on when Jerry Jones will be on the phone to Plaxico's agent? You can't have enough fucking turds on one team if that team is the Cowboys.

Posted by: pendejo grande at November 29, 2008 02:36 PM (iMnDJ)

31 Too bad he wasn't packing a grenade. How terribly insensitive of me.

Posted by: solitary knight at November 29, 2008 04:55 PM (Y5iDT)

32 Whoops. Guess I don't have to go to practice now. Shucks.

Posted by: Plax at November 29, 2008 05:54 PM (RLBRw)

33 That shit is going to leave a mark. How do you get blood off of mother of pearl?

Posted by: enter sandman at November 29, 2008 06:13 PM (UTL36)

34 New [potential] headline: Burress tests high velocity lead acupuncture.

chsw

Posted by: chsw at November 30, 2008 04:51 AM (6KFZ+)

35 And again liberal nit-wits will blame the NRA for this act of carless behavior

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