Ace of Spades HQ

September 29, 2005

Gay Marriage Will Lead To Polygamy? What Are The Odds Of That?
— Ace

Pretty f'n' good, as it turns out. The first three-party marriage -- well, "civil union" -- has occurred in the Netherlands.

Asked by journalists to tell the secret of their peculiar relationship, Victor explained that there is no jealousy between them. But this is because Mirjam and Bianca are bisexual. I think that with two heterosexual women it would be more difficult.

Just a little. How the hell did this guy manage this, anyhow?

Oh. Well, now that I see the man's blazing animal charisma, it's all so clear to me.

I owe someone a hat-tip, but I don't know who. Whoever you are-- thanks!

Posted by: Ace at 10:26 AM | Comments (67)
Post contains 129 words, total size 1 kb.

1 If this guy ever does a cologne endorsement or a vitamin commercial, I'm buying.

Posted by: Charlie (Colorado) at September 29, 2005 10:28 AM (FLRDm)

2 What the ... Doctor Evil? Is that you?

Posted by: Knemon at September 29, 2005 10:36 AM (mx24J)

3 Someone beat me to the Dr Evil schtick...

How 'bout no Scott...

Sharks with frickin' laser beams!

Posted by: Josh at September 29, 2005 10:39 AM (S6Wcf)

4 Just remember that MAN/WOMAN is NOT sacred, only TWO people can marry.

The number TWO is sacred. THis is an outrage!!! 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 only! YOu got it fascists? Never mind the whole procreation of the race stuff, which is racist.

Posted by: Intellegent Gaywad at September 29, 2005 10:40 AM (Gi7oA)

5 Personally, I think the guy looks more like a tall Mini-Me. But, in fairness, it's not like either of his partners have got that Jessica Alba sizzle going on. Healthy-looking women, though. You know, good North European peasant stock.

Posted by: utron at September 29, 2005 10:41 AM (VVBQC)

6 I was thinking Uncle Fester.
Seriously though, it can't all come from his "blazing animal charisma", I bet he has a really cool car too.

Posted by: scott at September 29, 2005 10:42 AM (M7kiy)

7 Too quick with the Dr. Evil by far but I can trump that... it is actually Dr. Evil with two fem-bots so it doesn't really count but maybe it is the first man-machine marriage.

Where do we draw the line there? You're only allowed to marry electric appliances?? Then there's the whole gas-owered love lobby group to worry abnout.

Posted by: DARWIN'S MOUSTACHE at September 29, 2005 10:44 AM (vLNLO)

8 "I bet he has a really cool car too."

Or lots of money...

Posted by: harrison at September 29, 2005 10:45 AM (ye+ZQ)

9 The guy fairly screams henpecked....

Posted by: Jeff at September 29, 2005 10:47 AM (yiMNP)

10 Dutch chicks are really hard up if a gormless morph like that can bag two women.

Amsterdam here I come!

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at September 29, 2005 10:47 AM (FZLrc)

11 Nicholas, that's the best use of the word "gormless" since it appeared on my last performance review.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 29, 2005 10:49 AM (y1hCN)

12 Just a little. How the hell did this guy manage this, anyhow?

Well, I think the women that are into that sort of thing are, by and large, bi and large.

[picture]

QEf'nD.

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 10:52 AM (fgyj8)

13 I strongly suspect his punishment will fit his crime.

Posted by: Sobek at September 29, 2005 10:53 AM (6GK9U)

14 "by and large, bi and large"

LOL...That's the funniest damn turn of phrase I've seen al day. Nice job, Alex.

Posted by: at September 29, 2005 10:58 AM (M7kiy)

15 Jeff Gannon's dad.

Posted by: The Colossus at September 29, 2005 11:00 AM (JSZMX)

16 He might not be rich. Perhaps Mirjam and Bianca are the bread winners and Victor spends his days in the recliner watching ESPN and drinking Heineken.

Posted by: Scott at September 29, 2005 11:04 AM (M7kiy)

17 Breadwinners?
More like two thick slabs of bread on a Victor sandwich.

Thank you!
I'll be here all week, try the veal!

Posted by: lauraw at September 29, 2005 11:20 AM (cJsKL)

18 It just shows to go ya: bespectacled bald guys with freakishly large penises get all the women.

Posted by: Yeff at September 29, 2005 11:27 AM (fECW3)

19 Btw, HT should be to Iblis, in the Darth Sully thread.

Posted by: someone at September 29, 2005 11:38 AM (6Swlb)

20 This is a really funny comment thread.

Just sayin.

Posted by: See-Dubya at September 29, 2005 11:44 AM (c10Uw)

21 Twice the nagging! Hooray!

This guy sure ain't no genius.

Posted by: The Warden at September 29, 2005 11:45 AM (6gfGy)

22 Looks like Dr. Evil married Frau Farbisina and Fat Bastard.

Posted by: Frankenberry at September 29, 2005 11:50 AM (mdhyD)

23 Must be that "laser beam" type of thing.

Posted by: Fausta at September 29, 2005 11:59 AM (O/S03)

24 And one day he's gonna come home early from work and find his wife in bed with ... his wife.

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 12:06 PM (fgyj8)

25 "And one day he's gonna come home early from work and find his wife in bed with ... his wife."

And the first thing that pops in his head is "Shit I forgot to charge the camera!"

Posted by: Iblis at September 29, 2005 12:16 PM (9221z)

26 Slobek, LOL!!!!

Well, of COURSE they are bi-sexual. They have to have sex with someone and I seriously doubt it will be him.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at September 29, 2005 12:19 PM (F+bg5)

27 oops...Sobek, I mean.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at September 29, 2005 12:20 PM (F+bg5)

28 As the buzz starts to wear off... AAAAAEEEEEE!!!!!

Posted by: keggin at September 29, 2005 12:23 PM (AAxSd)

29 That poor stupid bast*rd. Nothing good can come of this. Nothing!

Posted by: Nickie Goomba at September 29, 2005 12:31 PM (9B2q6)

30 Slobek is what Slublog and I are going to name our first child when gay adoptions are made legal.

Posted by: Sobek at September 29, 2005 12:32 PM (6GK9U)

31 keggin: My eyes! My eyes!

Posted by: someone at September 29, 2005 12:41 PM (6Swlb)

32 Well, it looks like the little Dutch boy has got his finger in two dykes............

Posted by: MagicalPat at September 29, 2005 12:45 PM (Xqscv)

33 Slobek is what Slublog and I are going to name our first child when gay adoptions are made legal.

Now that's funny.

Posted by: Retired Geezer at September 29, 2005 12:46 PM (EfIhp)

34 Have you SEEN the size of the dikes they have in Holland? It's pretty amazing how huge they are.

And don't even get me started on the amount of water they can retain.

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 12:51 PM (fgyj8)

35 I have to say, this is quite possibly the highest humor-to-comment ratio of any non-slapfest thread in recent memory.

Posted by: Patton at September 29, 2005 01:03 PM (cLlFA)

36 We could have used those two dykes in New Orleans last month ....

Posted by: PB at September 29, 2005 01:08 PM (tZNNg)

37 He "managed" it because his new wives are old, desperate and fat.

Posted by: brendan at September 29, 2005 01:43 PM (NSfL2)

38 And, if I'm not mistaken, they seem to be sisters as well.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at September 29, 2005 01:53 PM (F+bg5)

39 Are they Evil sisters?

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 29, 2005 01:57 PM (lpbk9)

40 No, not evil, but obviously IQ and sight impaired.

who knows though? Maybe ugly and bald turns them on.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at September 29, 2005 02:06 PM (F+bg5)

41 And, if I'm not mistaken, they seem to be sisters as well.

That's so dirty-hot, it would almost make it worth the blubber factor.

Actually, the one on the left (Victor's right), though stout, doesn't look too bad, from what I can tell. When you consider the cold winter nights they have there, and the quality of European central heating systems, Victor probably isn't doing too bad for himself, as long as he has his own bathroom.

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 02:11 PM (fgyj8)

42 I don't know what it says about my sexual orientation, but I don't want to do ANY of 'em.

Posted by: carin at September 29, 2005 02:19 PM (BOnLu)

43 That's so dirty-hot, it would almost make it worth the blubber factor.How about NO, you crazy Dutch bastard?

Posted by: rdbrewer at September 29, 2005 02:19 PM (lpbk9)

44 Nicholas, that's the best use of the word "gormless" since it appeared on my last performance review.

Yeah, what's up with the sudden appearance of "gormless" in business? Is this some kind of HR fad? I mean, Objective No. 2 in my most recent Performance Improvement Plan is "Don't be so frickin' gormless." [Objective No. 1 is "Show up."]

Nicholas, any ideas? I need this job.
Now I gotta figure out what that means to avoid another "Unsatisfactory" rating.

Posted by: Michael at September 29, 2005 02:43 PM (pRtzm)

45 It's in the dictionary, Michael.

Posted by: geoff at September 29, 2005 02:47 PM (pSxN9)

46 Carin,

I would hope that would put you in the category of "normal."

A wonderful wonderful place to be.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at September 29, 2005 03:03 PM (F+bg5)

47 Thanks, geoff.

So, being called "gormless" is probably not good for my career path, right? Cuz, shit, I was really hoping to start knocking down some big bucks in the near future.

Posted by: Michael at September 29, 2005 03:16 PM (pRtzm)

48 We could have used those two dykes in New Orleans last month ....

That would not have worked. Those are obviously category 2 dykes and would have easily been topped. New Orleans required a much larger and stronger dyke, a heavily fortified bull-dyke if you will so nothing short of Rosie would have sufficed.

Posted by: scott at September 29, 2005 03:39 PM (6krEN)

49 Victor explained that there is no jealousy between them. “But this is because Mirjam and Bianca are bisexual. I think that with two heterosexual women it would be more difficult.”

Ah, a moment please in the general euphoria about a man with two fat lesbos at his disposal.

(I find it odd, BTW, that nobody cares to comment on what abnormalities gay marriage has let into the compact.)

But let me splash some cold water on your pathetic geek boners.

He says there is no jealousy between them because he is the man. In other words, he has no fucking clue about the dynamics of this relationship.

This poor soul is either going to end up as a human chew toy, torn apart by these two warring DOGS, or a castoff, jerking himself in the corner while the two conspire against him to take everything he owns.

*Back to your regularly scheduled two-lesbo-wife fantasies*

Posted by: lauraw at September 29, 2005 03:54 PM (6krEN)

50 You're probably right, Laura. The source article says that he was already married to one of them before, and that they met the third one in a chatroom a few months prior. She was married at the time, but left her husband to join this couple, and apparently this ceremony followed her divorce becoming final.

So, you see, these people are obviously very stable and loyal individuals, who take commitment seriously and think through their life decisions very carefully.

Ah shit, this social commentary is boring. More lesbo jokes, please.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
A: Single!

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 04:23 PM (fgyj8)

51 Another lesbo joke:

Q: What do a lesbian couple do on their second date?
A: Move in together.

Posted by: Alex at September 29, 2005 04:24 PM (fgyj8)

52 This poor soul is either going to end up as a human chew toy, torn apart by these two warring DOGS, or a castoff, jerking himself in the corner while the two conspire against him to take everything he owns.

Even worse, they won't let him build a spud gun to add a little joy to his life.

Posted by: Michael at September 29, 2005 04:30 PM (pRtzm)

53 Oh fer cryin out loud...

Posted by: lauraw at September 29, 2005 05:22 PM (6krEN)

54 I can't even imagine having TWO women harping about all my "guy stuff" in the garage and basement.

This fellow, once he gets over the lezbo-trio novelty, will realize he's signed up for his own personal version of hell.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 29, 2005 05:32 PM (X+OCl)

55 Purple Avenger, REAL women perform an amazing transformation on men.

We scrape the crust off your life. We un-staple the Budweiser towels from your windows and put up real curtains.
We throw away your shitty clothes full of holes and skidmarks and paintstains, and shop for you and make you presentable to society.

We throw away the five-year old head of black, powdery lettuce in the 'crisper.'

This poor bastard is going to have two women who really don't give a shit what he does or wears. Hell, one of them is bound to buy NASCAR memorabilia and put it in a big glass case in the fucking livingroom.

He ain't gettin the benefit of wimmin, trust me.

Posted by: lauraw at September 29, 2005 06:09 PM (6krEN)

56 We throw away your shitty clothes full of holes and skidmarks and paintstains, and shop for you and make you presentable to society.

Yeah, I keep telling my wife it's too bad I didn't meet her when I was in my twenties 'cause I surely would've gotten laid more.

Posted by: The Warden at September 29, 2005 06:18 PM (Zxtyv)

57 Well I got that from Malkin.... but she didn't go into detail on it and I did. And I know I focused on the Bisexual angle so maybe you owe me the hat tip

Posted by: Larry Bernard at September 29, 2005 06:37 PM (f3PKd)

58 Ah, a moment please in the general euphoria about a man with two fat lesbos at his disposal.

he has no fucking clue about the dynamics of this relationship.

Dont sell him short, he understands the dynamics.

1)LOOK AT HIM!
2)He has doubled his sandwich making and beer serving capabilities and there is always someone in the relationship willing to listen, whatever that means.

Posted by: scott at September 29, 2005 06:37 PM (6krEN)

59 "(I find it odd, BTW, that nobody cares to comment on what abnormalities gay marriage has let into the compact.)"

All of us are probably on the same page about that (some more lukewarmly than others, granted). So it's really one of those "laugh so you don't cry things."

Plus, two women together is of elemental interest to men. It doesn't matter who it is - Andrea Dworkin and Lynne Stewart (sorry - but see, guys, you're picturing it despite yourselves, aren't you?) - we still gotta think about it. Like a dog riding a unicycle. Fish gotta swim.

Posted by: Knemon at September 29, 2005 06:47 PM (QaHR7)

60 Andrea Dworkin and Lynne Stewart ... Like a dog riding a unicycle.

Which one is the unicycle again?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at September 29, 2005 06:51 PM (ovnMC)

61 I'm sorry LauraW ... I'm still laughing over the "category two" dykes joke.

Posted by: carin at September 29, 2005 06:59 PM (hJfXR)

62 We throw away the five-year old head of black, powdery lettuce in the 'crisper.'

"We protect you from your stupid desire to build a spud gun, which, if done incorrectly, could explode and turn the right half of your head into crispy bacon. And I know you're just too dumb to get the PVC joints right."

Are women just plain fuckin' arrogant, or am I missing something?

Posted by: Michael at September 29, 2005 08:13 PM (pRtzm)

63 Hey, has anyone noticed: two redheads?!? Feisty women - no wonder they went along with such a dramatic act. I *love* redheads. And you know why guys go bald - too much testosterone.

As for the "tat lesbo" comments... a lot of people appear to be claiming psychic powers, given the fact that the photo ends just below their shoulders. Get over yourselves - jealousy ain't pretty. Suggest that if you can do better, to go for it, if not, shut the hell up.

This is a historic event (although if you actually read the comments on the original news article, not the first multi-partner cohabitation agreement), if only for the widespread discussion (and hysteria) invoked. Hurrah, and may it lead to *recognition* (they already exist) of many many more such relationships, here in the U.S. and abroad.

Posted by: Thomas Leavitt at September 29, 2005 09:48 PM (PQtW4)

64 He is one freaky-deaky Dutchman, that's for sure.

Posted by: Mikey at September 30, 2005 03:14 AM (O9Cc8)

65 Thomas, I called them fat lesbos. It was an exaggeration, they are bisexual. There does appear to be enough evidence to call them quite, eh, healthy, though.

Are you saying I'm jealous of them?? LOL!

And Michael, hubby can do whatever he wants. I am not the one standing between him and a spud gun. I do not question his competence with PVC.

And if you think women are arrogant, you should try living with a man.
I know you want to.

Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 05:15 AM (0XkF8)

66 hehehe... He has to wear "long shorts"?

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 30, 2005 03:13 PM (YFiLK)

67 Wait. Those look like identical twins. This isn't just polyg-a-trois, and it's not just polyg-a-trois-in@#$st. It's polyg-a-trois-clone-cest! Try saying THAT three times.

Sorry for the euphemistic "in@#$t." Ace's software won't accept comments with the non-euphemism. What is this, the Disney channel?

Posted by: Alec Rawls at September 30, 2005 06:28 PM (3lkBa)

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