September 30, 2005
— Ace Been a while.
A Rustling in Dave's Pants
Powers Boothe's got
a lot of hate in him. I wish he'd put
some of that hate... in me.
Posted by: Ace at
12:07 PM
| Comments (188)
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: compos mentis at September 30, 2005 12:37 PM (xHpUK)
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 30, 2005 12:41 PM (y1hCN)
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 30, 2005 12:42 PM (y1hCN)
I'm going to go swallow some Drano-o.
Try this:
Fuck, I can't even
Do a haiku right. Loose shit.
Off to eat Drano.
Posted by: Anachronda at September 30, 2005 12:46 PM (/c74s)
Posted by: compos mentis at September 30, 2005 12:46 PM (xHpUK)
Posted by: compos mentis at September 30, 2005 12:55 PM (xHpUK)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 30, 2005 01:02 PM (pzen5)
This stupid haiku crap sucks.
Dave and Ace match wits.
I'll run away and lurk now. Forgive me!!!
Posted by: Maranna at September 30, 2005 01:12 PM (3+4cs)
Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at September 30, 2005 01:32 PM (ipjUv)
Powers slips Dave the shocker
Finds Aces class ring"
lol! lol! compos hits one out of the park in the first at-bat!
Posted by: BrewFan at September 30, 2005 01:37 PM (EzjjU)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 01:41 PM (EHzws)
Posted by: midaz at September 30, 2005 01:48 PM (pBS7H)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 30, 2005 01:51 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: BrewFan at September 30, 2005 01:52 PM (EzjjU)
Erect with forbidden joy;
A haiku flame thread!
Ok, that was lame,
But not as bad as sirens
Drowning out The Black Flag.
Posted by: Dogstar at September 30, 2005 01:56 PM (KgeNY)
Pussy garfield pussy ridge
Wan'ts to make ace squeal
Too bad about your nationals dave, ya loser
Braves go all the way
Posted by: at September 30, 2005 01:57 PM (pBS7H)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 02:06 PM (EHzws)
Speaking of baseball
The Brewers will end the streak
and finish above
So BrewFan cries out
"Bratwurst for Everybody!"
and chugs a cold one
Posted by: BrewFan at September 30, 2005 02:06 PM (EzjjU)
Posted by: BrewFan at September 30, 2005 02:12 PM (EzjjU)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 02:25 PM (EHzws)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 02:43 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 02:58 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 03:02 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 03:05 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:08 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:10 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 03:10 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:13 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:16 PM (pRtzm)
Oh, yeah, BBecks boobs.
They were so angry when they
Lunged from Ace's shirt.
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 03:20 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:23 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: Dogstar at September 30, 2005 03:29 PM (KgeNY)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:40 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 03:42 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 04:03 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 04:04 PM (EHzws)
Posted by: rho at September 30, 2005 04:10 PM (c6bJU)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 04:17 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 04:27 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at September 30, 2005 04:33 PM (ipjUv)
Ace, you dirty whore.
I wish that I had even
A tenth your traffic.
Posted by: Jimmie at September 30, 2005 04:49 PM (GDgGM)
Posted by: scott at September 30, 2005 04:50 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Jimmie at September 30, 2005 04:53 PM (GDgGM)
Posted by: scott at September 30, 2005 04:53 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: rho at September 30, 2005 05:08 PM (c6bJU)
Posted by: Jason at September 30, 2005 05:18 PM (o47qQ)
Posted by: michael at September 30, 2005 05:26 PM (pRtzm)
Michael openly
yearns for scott's (s)pud gun
such a jealous bitch
Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 05:34 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 05:39 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 05:39 PM (EHzws)
Too bad I never saved it, I'd like to see it again. Seems to have made an impression.
Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 05:53 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 30, 2005 05:54 PM (uV+6C)
Posted by: The Comish (sic) at September 30, 2005 06:16 PM (oCJ1y)
Posted by: scott at September 30, 2005 06:20 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: scootran at September 30, 2005 06:23 PM (cq5ya)
gets his posts right the first time...
Ace still gets more hits
Ace secretly thinks
Garfield Ridge should be his bitch,
wishes Dave had tits
Ace is like Allah
Less smart, less funny, but not
a fucking quitter
Friday night thinking
of new ways to insult Ace
Oh God, I need help
Posted by: at September 30, 2005 06:25 PM (de3lv)
Tried to taunt her out-
she must have just ignored me.
(she hates other girls)
Her posts were witty
and her arguments concise.
(her boobs won the day)
come back to the geeks
this is the place you belong
they miss your, uh, face
Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 06:34 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: The Comish (sic) at September 30, 2005 06:46 PM (oCJ1y)
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at September 30, 2005 06:48 PM (kc9zT)
Michael, Dave and Ace
plus, mice and a BB gun?
Hint: think round and small.
Posted by: Dogstar at September 30, 2005 06:52 PM (KgeNY)
Posted by: rho at September 30, 2005 06:56 PM (c6bJU)
King of College Geeks
But still never touched a bra
Dave at Garfield Ridge
Posted by: The Comish (sic) at September 30, 2005 07:06 PM (oCJ1y)
Posted by: lauraw at September 30, 2005 07:16 PM (M7kiy)
Like a sex machine.
Movin’. . .doin’ it, you know?
Yes, James, I do know.
Posted by: adolfo velasquez at September 30, 2005 07:18 PM (RnIAu)
fuck? You don't post a tribute
in a flame war thread.
Instead, write something
calling James Brown a douche for
beating up his wife.
Posted by: Sean M. at September 30, 2005 07:25 PM (EHzws)
Posted by: The Comish (sic) at September 30, 2005 07:31 PM (oCJ1y)
I’ll get that bi-atch.
I don’t know karate, but
I know ca-razy!
Posted by: adolfo velasquez at September 30, 2005 07:31 PM (RnIAu)
Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at September 30, 2005 07:34 PM (ipjUv)
Posted by: doc at September 30, 2005 07:36 PM (M025i)
I worked my way through family and friends, then folks I know from church and work.
I've still got 15 minutes to go. So, I prayed for Scott and Laura, and Brewfan, Lipstick, Ace, Dogstar, Dave in Texas, Dave at Garfield Ridge, bbeck, digitalbrownshirt . . .
The vigil leader (who was the only person there besides me and Mrs. Michael) actually had to interrupt me at midnight for the closing prayer.
So, at the moment I'm just not in the mood for any more flame haikus.
Good night, and God bless you.
Posted by: Michael at September 30, 2005 07:46 PM (pRtzm)
I'll resist the urge to mock you for caring about other people.
Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at September 30, 2005 07:57 PM (ipjUv)
Posted by: adolfo velasquez at September 30, 2005 07:59 PM (RnIAu)
Posted by: cheshirecat at September 30, 2005 08:19 PM (Gdtyf)
Posted by: cheshirecat at September 30, 2005 08:21 PM (Gdtyf)
Get on Your Flying Carpet and Ride
Fly on, Jihadis
Climb ever into the sky
And meet the Maker.
Heed the advice of
Golden Throated Osama
And die for Allah
Die die die die die
Die Fucking Die You Die Now
Motherfucker Die.
Posted by: rdbrewer at September 30, 2005 09:03 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Knemon at September 30, 2005 10:27 PM (QaHR7)
Posted by: geoff at September 30, 2005 10:35 PM (pSxN9)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 04:29 AM (Lt6Tu)
Posted by: Dogstar at October 01, 2005 05:07 AM (KgeNY)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 05:25 AM (Lt6Tu)
Anyway, LauraW once wrote a poem entitled either "The West" or "America". If I can find it, I'll post it for you.
It's a classic.
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 05:42 AM (6krEN)
Did you save that before you deleted your blog, or can we all now recite it from memory because you left it on top for three weeks?
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:26 AM (Lt6Tu)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:27 AM (Lt6Tu)
Seems on THIS blog, I have magical powers.
Like the power to be nice to myself.
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:37 AM (Lt6Tu)
And how nice are you
Being to yourself right now?
Very, very nice?
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 01, 2005 06:41 AM (lpbk9)
If you post it again (the most horrible poem ever written by a drunken sap late at night) I will bear the flames.
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:44 AM (Lt6Tu)
Don't be ashamed of your work, LauraW.
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 06:46 AM (6krEN)
I'm sorry.
Throw it back up there and let people punch me in the kidneys then you sadistic piggy.
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:50 AM (Lt6Tu)
"The West" by LauraW
I was in my garden this morning
when I saw some weeds
and thought, "Not me!".
Better to leave them slumberous beneath
winters snow
risking, perchance, some spring awakening!
Note the expressive use of the exclamation point after "awakening". It's so artsy!
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 06:50 AM (6krEN)
I think it was 'saw a garden overrun with weeds'
and
'All Spring and Summer weeded and plucked'
and
'but in the slumberous warmth they got ahead of me'
Or some silly shit
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:52 AM (Lt6Tu)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:54 AM (Lt6Tu)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:55 AM (Lt6Tu)
"The West" by LauraW
I saw a garden overrun with weeds
And I thought "Not Me."
All Spring and Summer weeded and plucked
but in the slumberous warmth they got ahead of me
better to leave them beneath winters snow
risking, perchance, some spring awakening!
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 06:56 AM (6krEN)
'have I the will, in this heat?
Oh, let them ...blah blah something about sleeping with me under the snow...
Chancing some Spring Awakening!
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 06:59 AM (Lt6Tu)
Regardless, we've managed to make a fake but accurate reconstruction of events. So, as far as the MSM is concerned, your poem stands as currently written.
After all, I got it from an unimpeachable source.
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 07:02 AM (6krEN)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 07:06 AM (Lt6Tu)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 07:09 AM (Lt6Tu)
You know, you and I (and Skinbad) are the only people in this thread who will get the above joke. The Blogtower's legacy lives on!
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 07:10 AM (6krEN)
Posted by: Jack M. at October 01, 2005 07:14 AM (6krEN)
Posted by: lauraw at October 01, 2005 07:14 AM (Lt6Tu)
LMAO. It's just a waste of time to mock you when you're going to top us anyway.
Posted by: Michael at October 01, 2005 12:14 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: steve at October 01, 2005 05:52 PM (alWdG)
At home last night, ya losers.
You should have been here.
The party started
In the afternoon when we
Went to a movie
And, other than a
Small plot point that pi$$ed me off,
“Serenity” ROCKS.
Our group then drove to
Our house for fighting and a
Little revelry.
I was up all night
Making Tex-Mex for twenty
Which got devoured.
The menu had some
Beef tacos with all the works,
Cheese enchiladas,
Handmade tortillas,
The world’s best guacamole
(Suck it, Texas Dave),
Spanish Rice and beans,
Crock pots of buffalo wings
And meaty queso.
For dessert there was
A cheesecake made from scratch with
Raspberry liquer.
But before dinner
We spent hours sword fighting
In our large back yard.
It is lots o’ fun
Watching men in armor sweat
and scare the neighbors.
And after dinner
We all got roaringly drunk
And that is fun, too.
It was like college
Except guests brought their OWN beer
And no one threw up.
So, flame wars are fun
But I had more important
Geekery scheduled.
I’ll be here next time
For one of you tough guys to
Hit me with your purse.
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck at October 02, 2005 02:05 PM (qF8q3)
Posted by: BrewFan at October 02, 2005 03:11 PM (EzjjU)
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck at October 02, 2005 04:00 PM (qF8q3)
Posted by: at October 02, 2005 04:38 PM (VLfHY)
White Sox will beat their asses
Bart will laugh long time
Poor poor Tom Brady
Interceptions and fumbles
Coach Bill not happy
Posted by: Bart at October 02, 2005 05:37 PM (OVbis)
Posted by: Bart at October 02, 2005 05:43 PM (OVbis)
Posted by: Michael at October 02, 2005 06:05 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: Michael at October 02, 2005 07:13 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 07:48 PM (lpbk9)
If it is a "new" house you (in theory) should have electric that "meets code". This doesn't mean its "good", just that it meets code. "Meeting code" is like passing a test with a D-
If it is a used house and was built prior to 2002 it will most likely lack a number of ELECTRICAL SAFETY things (unless I or some very caring methodical electrician went over it with a fine tooth comb)
To keep this brief, here's the high points of the lecture.
Anything built prior to the mid 1970's may/probably lacks GFCI protections in a number of important areas. GFCI's help prevent electrocutions. The latest code requires them for kitchen, bathroom, garage, outdoor recepticals, hot tub/pool circuits. GFCI's can save your life - they are cheaper than the cheapest funeral. Test them periodically to make sure they still work - nearby lightning strikes often waste them.
Putting GFCI protection in a child's room is cheap insurance against tragedy. The electric code does not require GFCI in bedrooms. Unless someone like me wired the place you won't have it.
Make sure there is working GFCI protection on outside recepticals. These tend to be used for plugging in all sorts of flaky tools and christmas lights. Every year several houses burn down due to bogus christmas lights and people are electrocuted using electric yard tools. GFCI can prevent this.
In tha past few years a new circuit breaker technology has come along - the AFCI. AFCI breakers have an embedded microprocessor that tries to examine the signature of the power being drawn and detect situations where an electrical fire might be trying to start - damaged/decayed wire in walls, recepticals gone bad, frayed cords, etc. A lot of electricians complain about them saying the bennefit doesn't justify the cost. IMO they're cheap insurance. I've seen them work and detect something bad and trip. ~$30/each for a single pole 15/20 amp one.
Cutler Hammer makes a combo breaker that combines GFCI and AFCI into one breaker. If you place has a CH panel consider them.
If the place has a Federal Pacific electric panel get it swapped out ASAP - they are evil. The design is lame and the breakers often don't work. They start fires.
If the place has a Zinsco panel get it swapped out ASAP. The Zinsco breakers used an internal grease that congeals over time that can prevent them from tripping. The Zinsco breaker design only trips thermally and doesn't have a magnetic trip like all the modern breakers do.
ITE Bulldog panels are somewhat OK, but they're still a thermal trip and don't do magnetic. Btrakers are grusomely expensive compared to modern ones.
Wadsworth panels are also kind of OK, but again its an old thermal trip only design. Solidly built with no particular mechanical problems. I've kept Wadsworth's in place and didn't feel bad about it. AFCI/GFCI can be added via subpanel. Wadsworth breakers are brutally expensive.
If a house is early 60's or older it probably has an edison fuse box. Some insurance companies are balking about insuring places with fuses. Fuses WORK and are fairly safe when not overfused. Like the Wadsworth/Bulldog/Zinsco, GFCI/AFCI could be added to a sound fusebox using a subpanel. I usually don't keep a fusebox in place - the temptation for the homeowner to overfuse is too great. I've pulled many 30A fuses off 15A circuits.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 08:09 PM (X+OCl)
There are ways to deal with it and keep it in place, but the best thing is to ditch it.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 08:16 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 08:48 PM (lpbk9)
What the fuck? Get a blog, you
Home repair nitwit
I hope you electrocute your ignorant ass or burn your house down. I won't shed a tear. You'll deserve it.
This is deadly serious shit that nobody ever tells new homeowners about.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 08:55 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 08:57 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 08:59 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:02 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:06 PM (lpbk9)
Reminds of the slam from Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday: ". . . you red-assed, clap-ridden squaw hopper!"
and later (referring to some prostitutes): "they ain't nothin' but nickel-a-ride mattress bags."
Posted by: geoff at October 02, 2005 09:14 PM (pSxN9)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:16 PM (lpbk9)
What "value add" are YOU providing here? Bullshit != value.
I mentioned a number of things that can directly save someone's life. You have offered what?
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 09:16 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:21 PM (lpbk9)
How many more must die I wonder?
Posted by: Disinterested bystander at October 02, 2005 09:24 PM (kUNrb)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:26 PM (lpbk9)
You have blood on your hands Mr. RdBrewer. How do you sleep at night?
Posted by: Disinterested at October 02, 2005 09:29 PM (kUNrb)
Some care not
Tragedy stalks
Child life bright
Darkness lurks
Strike is quick
Mother cry
safety $12
did not buy
Posted by: at October 02, 2005 09:32 PM (X+OCl)
Die Fucking Die You Die Now
Motherfucker Die.
Oh, no! It slipped.
My callous disregard for
Humanity shows
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 09:34 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: Disinterested at October 02, 2005 09:41 PM (kUNrb)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 02, 2005 10:05 PM (lpbk9)
You are certainly welcome
At The Perfect World
I'm not interested in perfection - that is for utopian idiots.
I'm interested in not dying due to flawed/ancient technology in the field that kills people every day.
You trust too much. Most people do. Sometimes that misplaced trust kills them.
Q: Would you knowingly drive your family around every day in a 60 year old car lacking air bags, dual master cylinder, ABS, seat belts, side door beams, inferior compound tires, inferior brakes, etc?
If you wouldn't, why would you do the same thing with a house?
I have yet to walk into a house - brand new or older - that didn't have at least one electrical problem that could kill someone or burn the place down.
ex. My lawyer bought a new house back in 1999 - it came equipped with an egregious problem that made the metal shell of the light in his daughter's bedroom and the screws holding the switch cover on electrically hot. That problem had been there since it was built. It all "passed inspection" and he got his CO. There were 50+ code violations in my own place when it was bought new. 3 potentially fatal. It too "passed inspection".
Sleep tight. What you don't know CAN kill you.
There's a heck of an essay to be written here about the assumptions the average person makes every day that aren't necessarily valid.
ex. EVERYONE who tailgates makes an implicit subconcious assumption their brakes will work. This is a bogus assumption of course. There's dozens of possible reasons why they might not.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 02, 2005 11:23 PM (X+OCl)
Heh, only if you want to get your azz kicked.
There are many ways
To protect your child from plugs.
That is good advice.
GFCI plugs
Cost WAY more than standard plugs.
Use them in wet zones.
Aluminum sucks
For wiring in your houses?
No, shut up, really?
How many of you
Just took electrical notes?
Er, I don't think so.
This is a FLAME THREAD
Which ain't the place for "safety."
Lighten the f*** up.
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 04:15 AM (qF8q3)
We've already installed some GFCI in the place, and plan to do a LOT more wiring work in the next few months.
Frickin' electricity.
Posted by: Slublog at October 03, 2005 05:45 AM (V7NgR)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 06:29 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 03, 2005 06:41 AM (m6OTa)
Posted by: Michael at October 03, 2005 06:59 AM (ycKg/)
Is much more productive than
Playing with yourself.
Dave in Texas,
In bed with a bowl of guac,
Just doesn't know this.
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 07:11 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 07:12 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 08:39 AM (gjy1/)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 09:15 AM (gjy1/)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 09:34 AM (gjy1/)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 10:19 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: geoff at October 03, 2005 10:31 AM (pSxN9)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 11:12 AM (gjy1/)
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 11:43 AM (qF8q3)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 12:00 PM (pzen5)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 12:12 PM (gjy1/)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 12:15 PM (pzen5)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 12:37 PM (gjy1/)
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 01:05 PM (qF8q3)
and too many good Haikus
to kill it just yet
The thread killah
has to be very patient
and time it just right
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 01:29 PM (W2J10)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 01:30 PM (W2J10)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 01:38 PM (pzen5)
That could be good or bad depending on when it was done and the materiels used.
The early cloth sheathed NM/Romex type cable was pretty wretched stuff. Eventually it falls apart and the sheath is succeptable to being slow-motion sawed apart by rusty staples. I own a building that almost burned down due to this crap and a rusty staple. Various forms of NM cable have been in use since the 1920's - some with ground, some lacking ground (K&T doesn't have a ground either).
If you describe the kind of stuff it was rewired with I can tell you if its any good or not.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 03, 2005 01:46 PM (X+OCl)
Just gave the guacamole
Taste a certain wang.
Okay, I need to
Stop pursuing this or I'll
Never touch the stuff.
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck at October 03, 2005 01:52 PM (qF8q3)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 03:15 PM (2eiU6)
Posted by: Bart at October 03, 2005 03:41 PM (BVvRj)
Soft luscious pillows
Firm and pale in the moonlight
We worship bbeck
Posted by: Michael at October 03, 2005 04:13 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:19 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:20 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes at October 03, 2005 05:23 PM (kUNrb)
my western correspondent
but he betrayed me
It doesn't matter
he still gives his tips to Ace
cuz I'm a nothing
GUILT GUILTY GUILT GUILT
GUILTY GUILTY GUILT GUILT GUILT
GUILTY (WEEP!) GUILT GUILT
Just kidding, of course. I love you man. Even though you're a FUCKING JONAH
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:25 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:26 PM (M7kiy)
Did you actually save that??
You are more evil than even Jack M., and that's saying something.
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:28 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Bart at October 03, 2005 05:37 PM (oDCN9)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 05:52 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Bart at October 03, 2005 06:00 PM (oDCN9)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 06:04 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 06:19 PM (fuAB3)
Posted by: lauraw at October 03, 2005 06:37 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 03, 2005 06:57 PM (IFMHA)
Posted by: VRWC Agent at October 03, 2005 07:02 PM (fuAB3)
Pssst. Laura said "dick." But Laura says dick quite a lot if you know where to look . . .
Saw a garden, overrun with weeds.
I said, not me.
Through Spring I smothered and plucked them.
In Summer my garden was blooming brilliant.
But in the slumberous warmth the weeds got ahead of me.
Have I got the will, in this heat?
Oh, let them go to seed
And sleep with me under the snow
Chancing some Spring awakening!
This gem is not about trimming bush. Neither is it about the seasons of a human life or even sex. It's about YARD WORK, YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES! Pulling weeds. Keeping that shit out of the fucking garden. That kind of thing. And it may not even be about Laura. It's about a persona. Say it with me, per-so-na.
Wait! Wait a minute. It is about sex! Growing weeds are a metaphor... for penises! And it is about the seasons of a human life. "Overrun with weeds" she observes at first and then declares "not me." She's fierce in her determination to pluck, er, fuck all the weeds, er, dicks trying to overrun her garden. She wants to stay on top. She wants to smother them and pluck them. In her youthful pride and determination, no weed, er, dick was going to gain mastery. She would pluck, uh, fuck them all.
In her youth, she stayed ahead of the game; her garden was blooming. She plucked, eh, fucked them like a striped-ass ape on crack. But as she moved into the late summer of her life, the dicks began to take control. There were too many. She was growing weary. "Have I got the will in this heat?" she wonders. Do. I. Still. Have. The. Stamina. To. Fuck. All. These. Weeds, er, Dicks? She ponders the same questions that strike us all at one time or another during our lives--if "us" does not include me and signifies that subset of people who like the cock. Can I stay ahead of the game? she wants to know. Can I stay on top? Can I keep all these weeds, er, dicks, "smothered"? Finally, exhausted, with a plaintive cry, she says, "let them go to seed!" Let them go spread their seed. Let them go elsewhere. Go away! She no longer has the energy to keep all the weeds, er, dicks plucked, ah, fucked. They keep growing and growing; they just won't stop growing. They're growing back too fast. She accepts her inability to keep them plucked, ah, fucked, "Go fuck some other garden!" she considers writing in her poem but doesn't since it won't rhyme with "dick," er, "weed."
And then a death metaphor. Sleep under the snow. Maybe their will be a rebirth, a reincarnation, a new season. A new season of proud, furious weed, er, dick plucking, dammit, fucking. Sonofabitch!
Laura, first, there's a concept called "misplaced loyalty." In one sense, it means that just because you are surrounded by weeds doesn't mean you are obligated to fuck, SHIT!, pull them. It never was your duty to keep them all f.. pulled. But I sure wish I had been a weed in your high school. Hooboy! Yowsa.
Laura, can I have your phone number? I could use some help with my yard. And, you know, I don't mind having my weeds smothered. If that's your preference. Not one bit. Do you prefer Ortho? Or deisel feul? Deisel tends to kill the grass too. But it gets the job done. Ortho may or may not work. Fucking environmentalists have taken all the good weed killer off the shelves. All we have left is this wimpy shit that doesn't work half the time. I have a sprayer if you want to use deisel. Let me know.
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 03, 2005 08:50 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: at October 03, 2005 09:07 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 03, 2005 10:20 PM (lpbk9)
I bet it took about the same number of neurons to generate that as a cockroach turd has...which is to say...vanishingly close to zero.
Posted by: at October 03, 2005 11:31 PM (X+OCl)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 04, 2005 04:26 AM (lpbk9)
But skinbad already did a superb deconstruction on that item at the now-defunct blogtower.
Dear friend skinbad, my gmail addy is on this post.
Posted by: lauraw at October 04, 2005 04:39 AM (eNwpa)
In the Flame thread. What a fluke.
Burnt dork jokes aside.
Sorry about the kidneys, yo. Deletion authorized. EOF.
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 04, 2005 02:16 PM (lpbk9)
Posted by: thread killah at October 04, 2005 05:14 PM (M7kiy)
Posted by: Michael at October 04, 2005 10:59 PM (pRtzm)
Posted by: BrewFan at October 05, 2005 04:52 AM (Byr3j)
Going to make lots of jokes
About laura's poem
I say end the thread
Let it die a peaceful death
And sleep under snow
Posted by: Slublog at October 05, 2005 05:15 AM (V7NgR)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 05, 2005 05:24 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: thread killah at October 05, 2005 06:36 AM (LXd88)
Posted by: Michael at October 05, 2005 06:40 AM (ycKg/)
Posted by: thread killah at October 05, 2005 07:01 AM (LXd88)
Posted by: rdbrewer at October 05, 2005 02:40 PM (lpbk9)
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