Could I just ask that the flaming skull thread stay at the top?  That's kinda insulting to the generosity of our host and all.

Joseph Farah's pretty insulting to Ahmadinejad, the Bush administration, congress, and the pseudo-intellectuals at Columbia U all in this short little blurb:

In fact, for the life of me, with this kind of personal track record, I don't understand why President Bush and the U.S. Congress do not intervene to prohibit Ahmadinejad from setting foot in the U.S. – or, better yet, arrest him the minute he steps foot off the plane.

It just goes to show you how gutless American leaders are.

It may be necessary very soon to risk the lives of brave American soldiers to tame the wild beast that is Iran under the leadership of Ahmadinejad. He and his country represent a grave threat not only in the Persian Gulf neighborhood but to the entire civilized world. It may soon become necessary to bomb and kill and main innocent Iranians who are captives and victims of this Islamo-fascist creep.

Why, knowing all that, do we permit him to dine at Manhattan's 21, work on script treatments with Hollywood directors, wow the U.N., bedazzle the pseudo-intellectuals at Columbia and conspire against America with the editors of the New York Times?

See Ground Zero? Ahmadinejad needs to be Ground Zero.

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=57743

Funcky chicken, I did suggest to ace that the post be made sticky, but I'm not gonna mess with his post myself.

Repeat: There is NO WAY I'm touching Ace's post. And no one else should either.

Lauraw's IP Hash is KUOcx

Dr. Freud will see you now.

See, what I actually meant was, if you screw around in college and you don't study, you get stuck in AoS.

Seriously.  Check the transcript.

...and say such things about your Mom:

Hey, that's enough about moms. Let's just get off of moms... I just got off of yours.

He's right.  And I've instructed my attorney to throw that in the suit, as well.

Slublog, you...

Your mom...

I can't do it. I can't pick on slublog.

He's so helpless and feeble. It'd be like punching a kitten.

And just what's so bad about being a carny, anyway? I have ten fingers and toes! (Of course, that's fingers and toes. You know, added together.)

And I suppose you don't crank Lynard Skynard and .38 Special, as you cruise from one mullet bar to the other.

My wife is taking my daughter to some German Cultural Society Oktoberfest thing this weekend. This is the ultimate Scandi-fest...

Posted by: eddiebear

Germans aren't Scandi's, moron. 

Do let us know how your family does in the shisse-eating competition though.

friggin cowards, starting a flame war while I'm traveling...

Posted by: wiserbud

Good luck with your quarterly review of airport bathrooms.

I wondered why you morons were talking about cats.  My server didn't show the picture.

Man, lauraw, that is one scary pussy. 

Not like you haven't heard that before, though. . .

Man, lauraw, that is one scary pussy. 

Not like you haven't heard that before, though. . .

Posted by: Christopher

Yeah, well it's the closest either of you have gotten to a wet pussy since you left the orphanage.

Wiserbud has inspected and licked the tiled floors on every airport bathroom from La Guardia to SeaTac
Posted by: Mr Minority

Sometimes he gets lucky and finds some leftover spooge; after the 4th or 5th guy he's bound to spill some.

Laura, could you please ask your whore of a mother to file down the teeth on her vagina next time because she almost broke the skin on my fella.  Almost.  But I kept thinking about how great it was going to be to finish in your grandmother that it kept me pretty much unbreakable.

Hey, this is fun!

There is NO WAY I'm touching Ace's post. And no one else should either

Me either - I agree it's the biggest story today, but unless it's just something like fixing a tag, I don't goof with the boss' posts, or the other co-blogger post either.  That would be bad form.

Except lauraw's stuff, you know, just to fix all the dumb spelling shit, which is getting to be a full time job around here if you know what I mean.

You're German, ha? Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. German's were spawned by scandis.

It's a fact. See, German's have ice blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me you can look it up. Hundreds of years ago, you see, the Swedes conquered Germania. And the Swedes are Scandis.

Way back then, Germans were like wops from southern Italy. They all had black hair and brown eyes, but then the Scandis moved in there, and they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with German women that they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why black hair and brown eyes became brown hair and blue eyes. It's amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that Germans' still carry that snow wop gene. It's written, it's a fact, it's written.

Your ancestors are ice wops. Yeah, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a snow wop, yeah, and she had a half  snow wop kid...Now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Cause you, you're part ice-back.

As for getting things off my chest, I'd like to scream a big FUCK YOU to the loser homeless guy who called me a "mother fuck" when I declined to give him money after he followed me into church yesterday.

I gave this miserable sunovabitch $40 a couple of weeks ago!

Still, the look on his drunken face when I made it crystal clear that, by insulting me, he lost any chance of ever getting another cent from me ever again.  There aren't that many $40 suckers to be had, and you shouldn't piss on any that you find. 

Stupid fucking drunk.

He knew he'd fucked up, and I thought about flashing the wad of bills in my wallet and telling him to get on his knees and apologize before walking off without giving him any, but that seemed too mean.

Wait. 

Pudding not good?

Kensington - why did you let him live?   Was he your dad or something?

HOW DARE YOU!

Pistols at dawn.  Loser has to eat soup out of Andrew Sullivan's oxygen mask.

Where's this picture of Laura's pussy that y'all are on about? I'm a voyeuristic sumbitch if nothing else.

And also, I need a clarification on the ground rules. Is it OK to mention that Tushar is _^brown?  And that Rosetta is a lesbo?  I never can keep this shit straight from flame to flame.

And thank God that Ace didn't put up photos of his sticky post.

I need to consider changing my nic.

Ha ha!  Come to think of it, I did actually yell "How dare you!" at the homeless guy.

"Yeah, well it's the closest either of you have gotten to a wet pussy since you left the orphanage."

That's cold, hollowpoint.  I admit your mom's got a few problems with freshness in the vayjayjay area, but she was pretty darn gushy last night.

Hollowpoint, tell your mom that her new number has been successfully updated on all of the men's rooms' walls at MSP. Her call volume should be getting back to normal real soon, so you will soon be able to afford that new Golden Shower Barbie you have been asking for.

Posted by: wiserbud

Cool, I'll have her put you back in the rotation, but don't hold out on her unless you want to get bitch slapped.  Pimpin ain't easy, and Mom doesn't take kindly to her bitches not coming up with her money.  I'll also suggest that when she sends you out to your next appointment behind the dumpster in the airport parking lot that you're OK with doing the Hot Carl now.  Should earn her an extra $20 per trick you turn. 

Your mom, then?

My mom's dead, you insensitive bastard.

Consider yourself banned!

Like this?

You shouldn't brag about grannie-fucking, Kensington. It drives Kasper to the breaking point. He's been tossed out of so many convalescent homes...

You shouldn't brag about grannie-fucking, Kensington. It drives Kasper to the breaking point. He's been tossed out of so many convalescent homes...

If I can't brag about granny-fucking, I won't have any fucking to brag about at all.  Nice picture , by the way.  Was that your prom photo?

There is NO WAY I'm touching Ace's post. And no one else should either

Me either,  wouldn't touch his post with Rosetta's dick. That's just nasty.

That's cold, hollowpoint.  I admit your mom's got a few problems with freshness in the vayjayjay area, but she was pretty darn gushy last night.

Posted by: Christopher

Sucker.  If you were smart enough to turn the lights on, you'd know that was the decomposing hobo she was about to dispose of before you started humping away on it.

Um...I don't know..uh...

Fire hot!

Still, you knew the drunk, right?

I didn't know the drunk, but he hangs around outside one of my churches in Manhattan.  Aside from the blow job, the only reason I gave him money was that I have this shamefully squishy bleeding heart side left over from my stupid liberal college days.  The difference between me and the DUmmies is that I know these are dreadful impulses that shouldn't be used to govern society.

Oh, and who's the retard who refused to display the number of comments per thread on the front page?  You think I want to have to refresh the thread pages all day long just to see if there are new comments?

I got a life, ya know!  I'm not dumb, I'm smart!

Meanest thing to say to a woman without swearing: "You look fat when you cry."

How bout, you look fat when you breathe.

Connie Vannett - The Pussy Cat Song Lyrics

My pussy cat was scratching out on my back door

Scratched so long poor pussy got sore

Sore pussy..ooohhhh

Sore..pussy ooohhh

Just a friendly little cat



My pussy cat was sittin on the front step

Sat so long poor pussy got wet

Wet pussy...ohhhhh

Sore, wet..pussy

Just a friendly little cat



My pussy cat was playing out on the back lot

Played so long poor pussy got hot

Hot pussy..ohhhh

Sore, wet, hot...pussy..

Just a friendly little cat



My pussy cat was rocking in the rocking chair

Rocked so long he lost his hair

Bald pussy...ohhh

Sore, wet, hot, bald...pussy

Just a friendly little cat



My neighbor and I out at the clothes line

I said to my neighbor won't you look at mine

My pussy..oohhhhhh

Sore, wet, hot, bald pussy

Just a friendly little cat



My neighbor stole my kitty

But I did see

I said to my neighbor set my pussy free

Free pussy

Sore, wet, hot, bad free pussy

Just a friendly little cat

Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.

"Thanks for the suggestion."

That's what Ace said when I emailed him about bumping the flaming-skull Hsu post.

You know what 'Thanks for the suggestion" means, right? It means, 'I do NOT thank you for your suggestion, and you are annoying me, but I'm too polite to really say that, so here's a tiny handful of warm poop to hold. Thanks. Buh-bye.'

Speaking of hygiene, according this story, 66% of men wash their hands after going to the bathroom and 88% of women do.  I washed my hands so that means that either pajama mama or lauraw didn't wash theirs. Eww...

And how nasty must the keyboards and mice be of you deginerate male morons!

"Thanks for the suggestion."

What? I thought that was his email's automatic responder. you know, like this person is out of the office and will not return till tomorrow kind of thing.

 I'm so offended.

Quick! I need help thinking of an insult for conservative belle

And how nasty must the keyboards and mice be of you deginerate male morons!

You think you can see germs, but you can't.

Especially in poorly lit bars in Boston.

(lauraw makes plans to go to dry cleaner after work)

How about that I didn't spell degenerate right? Heh.

Well? I was too bust agreeing w/ the insult to pay attention to spelling. Now excuse me while I change a diaper and resume eating. Nachos anyone?

At least, that's what I get when I send an email.

he's got filters set up tied to specific addrs.

The one I get is "For the love of God, could you stop sounding so fucking stupid?"

I usually say "takes one to know one"!

(and then add some kind of redneck insult)

I live in north florida.........and my family is from the Ozarks, but I'll work on it.

If you weren't all cute in your stupid picture this would be easier. So glad I don't have any Lauraw photos.

And how nasty must the keyboards and mice be of you deginerate male morons!

Try not pissing on your hands for once, and you'll understand.

And nice spelling job on "degenerate", GENIUS!

>>excuse me while I change a diaper and resume eating

Careful! That stuff is not Nacho cheese.

>>Tusher, you have not seen canned nacho cheese before, have you?

I have. But I have not seen infant poop.

 Now excuse me while I change a diaper and resume eating. Nachos anyone?

It depends. Will their be any hygenic activities scheduled in between these two events? Like maybe a full hazmat washdown complete with an ultra-violet drying session.

"That was the decomposing hobo she was about to get rid of. . ."

Ah, that explains it, hollowpoint.  I thought she felt tighter than usual.

Slub,

no youtube in office. I will check it out later.

Ans WTF is meant by 'runny', Dave?

word of advice tushar, don't be cheap on the diapers. Really, Pampers premium was my favorites.

Breastfed baby poop actually looks like mustard w/seeds

Or nacho cheese.

exactly

Or nacho cheese.
exactly
Posted by: pajama momma at September 21, 2007 03:52 PM (Tbl5c)

Which brings us back to her earlier statement: "excuse me while I change a diaper and resume eating"

As Mother Gaia would ask.Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Tushar, butch up dude.  This is a flame thread, not Benjamin Spock on what your kid's gonna do when you feed him armadillo meat.

gonna do when you feed him armadillo meat.

So, are you saying that's what your wife's breasts look like?

Or nacho cheese.
exactly
Posted by: pajama momma at September 21, 2007 03:52 PM (Tbl5c)

Which brings us back to her earlier statement: "excuse me while I change a diaper and resume eating"

Puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it?

I know how to multi-task, I was always able to change diapers, and eat at the same time.  But since i have boys i did keep open drinks away from the changing table, AKA the dinner table.....

>>So, you get the big boobs AND less smell.

I can live with that.

By some strange coincidence, that description also matches Slublog's face.

Were you the one holding his hair back so he could puke at Acepalooza?

>>Were they subtle? I'm sorry. Should I be more explicit in the future?

We are all ears... or eyes...whatever...

STFU while I hijack your flame thread for something I feel like talking about.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297521,00.html

"We wanted this redesigned bill to scream, 'I am a five. I am a five,'" Larry Felix, director of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing said in an interview with The Associated Press. "We wanted to eliminate any similarity or confusion on the part of the public between the $5 bill and the $100 bill."

I had to actually check my calender, just to make sure I didn't pass out and wake up April 1st.

Meanest thing to say to a woman without swearing: "You look fat when you cry."

How bout, you look fat when you breathe.

How bout, just mentioning fat in a sentence---

I only buy fat free sour cream. 

My response, did you just call me fat????

So, are you saying that's what your wife's breasts look like?

nah, they don't look like your mom's yet, but time sure is rough on a woman, isn't it?

We wanted to eliminate any similarity or confusion on the part of the public between the $5 bill and the $100 bill

I'm just not seeing how there could be any confusion.

There's breastfeeding on this  smart military..............

There is, but it ain't cheap

There is, but it ain't cheap

PJ MOMMA DID YOU JUST CALL ME CHEAP???

PJ MOMMA DID YOU JUST CALL ME CHEAP???

You forgot to finish the sentence.......Cheap whore

There's breastfeeding on this....

And poop-duty.

Are you guys talking about your husbands?

Sorry bout that if you are....

PJ MOMMA DID YOU JUST CALL ME CHEAP???

You forgot to finish the sentence.......Cheap whore

look I am far from cheap, just ask my husband,

oh and my boyfriend

that cat pix is so cute, it just makes me want to throw my cats in the pool.

OregonMuse, you seem to have first hand knowledge of a three-way salad toss with tubino and erg.

Confess now. But spare us the gory details.

spurwing was only clever in an idiot-savant way.

Damn, I miss him.

winoooo is like a low-rent Spurwing Plover... just not as clever, and italicizing the wrong parts of her posts.

As so many of her sexual partners have realized, you really do get what you pay for.

huh...I don't pay low-rent?????  Spurwing Plover pays it for me.

Shit, did I forget to italicize that?????

spurwing was only clever in an idiot-savant way.

 Ok PJ Momma, first you call me a cheap whore, now I am an idiot-savant?

Make up you mind already????

>>Yeah, I saw the whole disgusting thing, Tushar, but I must say, you were holding up your end pretty well.

I am quite good with the video camera. But next time you want your romp with those two videotaped, please ask someone else. I ain't doing it again.

Plainly you're an idiot because I only called you a cheap whore.

so what the can't a filthy minded moronic female do the same?

I'd prolly cop to it if I knew what you said.

For a cheap ass idiot savant whore you are pretty stupid!

hahahahahahaha

For a cheap ass idiot savant whore you are pretty stupid!

did you just call me pretty????

Thanks....

But what makes you so sure I am a woman?????

I said are you still doing Wiserbud and his bifriend Bart?

No, I'm too busy watching Tushar w/ Rosetta and Wiserbud

>>But what makes you so sure I am a woman?????

Everyone is sure you are a tranny, but they didn't want to say it right away.

>>No, I'm too busy watching Tushar w/ Rosetta and Wiserbud

Jealous much?

Everyone is sure you are a tranny, but they didn't want to say it right away.

very perceptive....Except I did get my sex change last year....

Ah! Thanks Aubrey.

BTW, what is refined oil? Do they fine it.... and fine it again? 

Now wrap that in a plastic diaper and that is what you have to look forward to for the next 2 1/2 years

Can you please tell my almost 4 year old he needs to be trained already. I'm so over hearing, Mom, can you wipe my bottom?

I'm so over hearing, Mom, can you wipe my bottom?

Let me help you out with that problem.

The answer is "No."

The answer is "No."

I would, but I'm afraid of the laundry after that.

The only sex change you got last year was switching from stray dogs to passed out hobos.

O.K. Before I respond, what are hobos?

I would, but I'm afraid of the laundry after that.

don't be afraid of laundry, be afraid of Chucky's Bride.....

>>O.K. Before I respond, what are hobos?

winoooo, you are oozing with stupid juice. Shouldn't you be posting at 'Sadly No!' or FireDogLake?

winoooo, you are oozing with stupid juice. Shouldn't you be posting at 'Sadly No!' or FireDogLake?

no this is more fun

Fucking liars.

You get what you pay for, cheap bastard

How come Mr Minority has a nose that runs and feet that smell?

Did your 8 year old nephew give you that insult?

>>Nobody's interested in your perverted sex toys, Tushar.

I never said you were. You were using your own perverted sex toys in that video. Oh, and I guess I can tell it now. That dildo you licked? Tubino had just a moment earlier put it in Erg's ass. I am never going to film your filth again. Go find some other cameraman. Effing freaks!

No shit!  Luckily, one shot of penicillin and I was right as rain.

By the way, thanks!

It's hard to be insulted when I'm laughing......dammit

but there's a few more diseases you should be checking fo

>>Did your 8 year old nephew give you that insult?

Yeah, it is kind of lame... I was just going on with the fingers don't fing theme.

Except when my husband wears them, of course.

What? Your husband won't wear those for me! I can only get him to wear the lace nightie. bastard

So this Muslim guy goes to a prostitute. After trying for a while, he somehow manages it.

While going out of the room, he proudly says, "If it is a boy, call him Mustafa. If it is a girk, call her Fatima".

The pros responds, "and if it is an itch, call it eczema".

Stupid fucking drunk.

You'd be surprised.

The pros responds, "and if it is an itch, call it eczema".

Is that what they call it? Wiserbud calls it crabs.

or my little PJ pets.

Don't get them wet and never, no matter how much they beg, never feed them after midnight.

Wiserbud, when you're through helping PJM pick your little hairs out of her teeth, you might want to pay some attention to your hygiene.

Unless PJM just had a green popsicle, it's not supposed to be that color.

We wanted to eliminate any similarity or confusion on the part of the public between the $5 bill and the $100 bill

I'm just not seeing how there could be any confusion.

If I thought there was that much confusion, I would have been buying a LOT more pairs of shoes!

wiserbud,

My boyfriend and I recently went to SD.  We took a trolley tour through the city, which gives you a lot of history and you can stop off at various locations.  Go to Coronado Island.  If you like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, there is one near the harbor with patio seating, perfect for viewing the sunset and the nice cool temps.  I thought the zoo was great, one of the best in the country.

I want to be sure I bring along some heavy-duty disinfectant.

No need for that.  The crabs, germs and diseases will feel like it's family reunion time when you arrive.

Any suggestions on what to do or where to go while there?

You're staying at the best possible place. I don't know if you're brave enough or how long you're staying, but it's really fun to take the trolley to TJ (mexico in case yo didn't know) and go to all the little shops. I loooove Mexico.

Downtown is where all the fun bars are. My grandma and I used to go swing dancing there every Sunday. Old Town is great. It has the mission and lots of shops. The Gaslamp distict is a blast. In wintertime, Julian is great for gettin an apple pie and hot chocolate because it snow and it's beautiful. Their zoo is the best in the U.S.

My recommendation is the Old Town Trolley Tour. It takes you by most of those places and you can get on and off all day. And I know how you like getting off.

The trolley is in coronado also, so you can hop on there. http://www.trolleytours.com/San-Diego/

I loved my visit there. I took a 2-hour harbor cruise which was really interesting if you are into the Navy stuff. 

And we all know wiserbud is into sailors...

finally afford that tire sweet

that would be swing. shit freaking beer

And we all know wiserbud is into sailors...

Wiser's been to every U.S. port. San Diego is his last stop

And we all know wiserbud is into sailors...

That should read, And we all know the sailors are in wiser.

Go to TJ and buy all the drugs you want without an RX at the local pharmacies. If you are a chicken, get a cheap script from the many available doctors.

Don't do that. I've had to pay off the cops waaay too many times. Not fun. It's terrible to have all your money gone and to only live on alcohol the rest of the weekend. It's a damn shame I say.

By pay, don't you mean suck?

 
details, details

At 4:30 in the morning my patience was low and I wanted to kick the snot out of her!

Why didn't you, Nancy, nothing beats a good cat fight.

his favorite part of baseball is spring training because pitchers and catchers report early

I wish I got that.

The strange part is that he's not sure which one of the two he is more jealous of.

You Wiserbud, have the ability to cute like a knife.

Go to TJ and buy all the drugs you want without an RX at the local pharmacies. If you are a chicken, get a cheap script from the many available doctors.

Don't do that. I've had to pay off the cops waaay too many times. Not fun. It's terrible to have all your money gone and to only live on alcohol the rest of the weekend. It's a damn shame I say.

Yah, had that same thing happen once, did you use cars as slides, and sing Morning Angel over and over too?????  Something about Mexico, alcohol and drugs...  Just don't let the federalies mistake your chaircoil drawing stick for hash, unless they don't notice the MJ you tossed under the car. 

You don't have to pay as much when they think they are making up charges to get money out of ya.

Look Winoooo, I've already posted about that experience before you duplicate dog. i think duplicate dog is much better than copy cat. I learned that from an old friend.

I like duplicate dog much better toooooooo

D.D.

I recommend this book, winnooo.

don't think I have ever come this close to a complete waste of time before in my entire life.

You've obviously never stopped by Dave in Texas' blog.

You're right, Texas is the absolute of "complete waste of time"!!!!!!!!!!  But this must be second on my list!!!!

I'm sure you all wish me safe travels.

Be safe wiser, my life ins. policy on you hasn't kicked in yet.

I recommend this book, winnooo.

Why did it help you???

Be honest now, I want to post this to the comments on Amizon...

Besides, I am looking for "How To Be A Fat Cheap Whore, Trani, for Wino's"

huhhhuuuhhuuuu, bout as funny as you book recommendation....Have you run out of bright comments/insults?

Pitty, guess we have to count on PJ Momma for our witty entertainment tonight

Say, PJM, that armadillo tits insult was really good. You are so awesome!

{obsequious complement to avoid any Lemon Party pics}

huhhhuuuhhuuuu

WTF?

Is that supposed to be laughing?

huhhhuuuhhuuuu

WTF?

Is that supposed to be laughing?

No it's that stupid sound you make when everyone mistakes you for being "special".

Is that supposed to be laughing?

Nope. Step 3 of Successful Restroom Cruising.

Oh, that's right, it's Friday evening and this time each week she pops the festering boils on her ass.

No, Rosetta, I don't have a straw you can borrow.

BRAVO, BRAVO!!!!!

Glad to see I've inspired some thought in your collective minds.  Finally!! I was getting a bit bored here.  Like I said, a complete waste of time, well right after Texas, that is.

No it's that stupid sound you make when everyone mistakes you for being "special".

No mistake, you ARE special!

Aha... yes and you ARE funny....Funny Looking, or so I hear.

No mistake, you ARE special!

Special Ed, in case you weren't clear.

Well wiser's been on his flight for a while---he's now free to move about the cabin.

I don't know what that means, but it sounds kinda gay.

Hey winnoooo, I know life sucked in special ed PE, but try to get over it. That was a long time ago.

Wait, it was called adaptive PE wasn't it?

What do you do when you're bored out of your mind. I mean mind numbing, skull crushingly bored? You decide you're going to run a marathon.

Oh, I thought you sat and posted on Ace and insulted people.....Wait no, that's fun for you.  Poor thing, maybe your husbands not so lucky after all.

Hey winnoooo, I know life sucked in special ed PE, but try to get over it. That was a long time ago.

Wait, it was called adaptive PE wasn't it?

You are correct, it was called adaptive PE, surprised you would know that.  Did you have that class too?  Thought you seemed familiar.

Oh, I thought you sat and posted on Ace and insulted people.....Wait no, that's fun for you.  Poor thing, maybe your husbands not so lucky after all.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! LMAO!!! I hate you!!!

Oh, I thought you sat and posted on Ace and insulted people

I hired you to pick on other people on this thread, not me you ass!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! LMAO!!! I hate you!!!

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hired you to pick on other people on this thread, not me you ass!

Oh, well you know, we idiot-savantes.....you should be more clear in the future.  Bet you wish you hadn't paid me up front.  Who is the I.S. now????

Maybe promising to let her dog bone you wasn't enough.

Actually it was, until I found out she didn't have a dog!!!!! 

As long as you only pretend.  Otherwise you just won't fit in here.

Yes, I think I have figured that one out......

 I don't know but, it is a lot tougher to say some of things I have said to PJ Momma and Winooo than it is to a dude.

You're doing great. I suck at it. That's why I hired winooo, but she turned on me. Stupid bitch.

And no, I am not Gay, I am just a nice guy to women.

I'd insult you, but you're more heavily armed than most on this site.

You were joking right?????  ok now i really have to go, need to put a bra on before people get here.  All part of that acting respectable crap.

ok now i really have to go, need to put a bra on before people get here

You know for a fact there's nothing to hold up. Why bother?

pj, do you know winooo from your days working at Hooters?

H(.)(.)TERS

 it is because I was raised not to do it and treat women as "special" and with respect.

Awwww, you're sweet. And apparently I'm the stupid bitch.

Screw feeding the baby, the best part of breast-feeding is being able to shoot your husband in the face from long distances.

Have your children stopped having those nightmares where they're screaming "stop messing around and feed me"?

You know for a fact there's nothing to hold up. Why bother?

Oh...... PJ Momma gets brave when she thinks I have left to put on my over the shoulder pebble holder.  Lucky for me change of plans and I no longer have to act respectable.....

Don't be a hater PJ Momma, I am quite sure it's not easy running a marathon while being constantly punched....No need to take it out on me.

Have your children stopped having those nightmares where they're screaming "stop messing around and feed me"?

The judge says I might be able to regain custody real soon like.

Turn about is fair play, I suppose.

pj, do you know winooo from your days working at Hooters?

Yes, but I'm not the one who has to stuff my bra.

I finally manage to make one insult and now I'm laughing at PJM's response

I'm trying to make up for the link thing I did to you the other day. I really felt terrible. blech

I'd tried to forget . I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forget...

But out of curiousity, which one was you?

first we have:

Ok, straight up truth, I have a hard time flaming woman. Maybe it is my old school ways, maybe the chivalry in me, I don't know but, it is a lot tougher to say some of things I have said to PJ Momma and Winooo than it is to a dude

then we have:

f you call that "acting respectable", I'd hate to see what you call "acting not slutty".

 
Who are you kidding, old school, chivalry???

 treat women as "special" and with respect

would you gals consider Jello Wrestling?

Um, I think what your mother told you was men respecting her is normally refered to as "paying for services rendered". 

Jello Wrestling, would you gals consider Jello Wrestling?

Or how about at least rubbing Crisco on each other and pretend to wrestle?

Would you gals do that for us?

been there, done that....Too bad nobody knew how to work the video camera, we could have been on YouTube

Winoooo's idea of chivalry is having them smack her on the ass as she walks out the door.

Well at least they know the difference between my ass and my face, which is more then I can say for some of the smacks you've received.

ohhhhhh SNAP!

I am sorry, sometimes when a person has "Beat Me With A Club" written on their forehead, you can't help it and just have to swing away.

Darn it PJ Momma you said you washed that off my forhead!!!!

winnooo, time to make that Long John Silver's run, the kids are crying from hunger.

And as much as the name makes you giggle, lay off the cocktail sauce.  The baby will be up all night.

Well at least they know the difference between my ass and my face, which is more then I can say for some of the smacks you've received.

Uh huh, but your husband can't ell the difference. Thank God he's not picky, huh?

I'd tried to forget . I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forget...

But out of curiousity, which one was you?

You will never forget the things PJ Momma does, trust me, years of therapy and shock treatment did nothing for my memories AKA nightmares.

Everyone here is entirely sober, right?

Of Course, at least for the moment....

Get something off my chest, eh?  Well it will be covered in vile flem and mucous, but okay:  tis a good thing that God made children cute, lest they be exterminated by their elders for being carriers of pestilience and every infestation known to mankind!  Now Bart, pucker up boy, I got a present for you! 

Eh, I guess I feel a wee bit better...

Uh huh, but your husband can't ell the difference. Thank God he's not picky, huh?

I don't know about my husband, but I know your husband isn't.

I don't know about my husband, but I know your husband isn't.

Did I forget to mention how personally I know this????

Thank you Laura for the photo of your wet pussy.

Could be worse: it could be blue like Mrs. Slocum's.

Yes, John, blame the children. 'Cuz we all know how clean those anuses are.

What did you see? Harry Potter?

Someone asked: "I do not understand why any sane woman would hang out at AoS, especially during a flame war."

I'd say it's the same instinct that operates when people slow down to see a car wreck.

Scratch that--it's more like watching a nature show on a particularly badly behaved primate.

Actually, it's exactly like that, without video.

Who exactly are we trying to insult here?  I am confused.  No actually I am bored.

PJ Momma and winoooo should just STFU and get into a tickle fight. They should also pull hair and tear each other's clothing.

You're no fun. We do that every night. We wanted to try something different this time.

PJ Momma and winoooo should just STFU and get into a tickle fight. They should also pull hair and tear each other's clothing.

Did you just call me fat?

No, for the thousandth time. I called you a whore. A cheap one at that.

You there, in the training bra.  You talking to me?

I know you're talking to winoooo, right?

No, for the thousandth time. I called you a whore. A cheap one at that

I have told you I am not cheap......  But I could hear the fat in your post

What did you see? Harry Potter?

Naah, it was Rush Hour 3.  Not as good as the first two.  Isn't there a new Halloween movie I can take him to next?  I mean, just to be a good uncle and all...

I think he's trying to call us sane, which is certainly offensive.

I agree

You there, in the stuffed training bra.

That's much better. For those of you that like the boy of a 12 year old boy, winooooo's your man, uh girl

You there, in the stuffed training bra.

Are you talking to me?   Im a little "slow" remember....

If so what the heck do you want!

 like the boy of

dammit, nothing like messing up an insult.........that should read body

But I could hear the fat in your post

You may heard the fat in her post, but she can see the fat in your ass



_{Please forgive me, that was mean.}

Oh please, act like a man and quite apologizing for your insults, you wimp

I ment Quit not Quite, hopefully you are all smart enough to figure that out.

Doubt it though, hence the clarification

John, this is better.

Oh yeah, winoooo? turn blue

oh yeah turn yellow

Winoooo, you have asked for and will be given, NO MERCY!

Winooo, your ass is soooo fat, that your cheeks can create 10 pounds of butt butter an hour!

Are we going to lower our selves to "Your So Fat" and "Your Mamma" insults now?

If so I better get on BET Channel and warm up....

My two year old is making up knock knock jokes that are funnier than this thread.

I will readily admit that I am absolutely horrible at these. With or without beer

I will readily admit that I am absolutely horrible at these. With or without beer

We already figured out that year olds are wittier then you.

We already figured out that year olds are wittier then you.

That should say "than" you. Jackhole

Ok, straight up truth, I have a hard time flaming woman

Oh my God, butch up, you enormous pussy.

I do believe you are composed entirely of vaginas. You're like the Six Million Dollar Man, but all they had was old diseased pussy to stitch together instead of fancy 1970's tech.

When you walk down the street, hungry cats follow you.

You know what they say about guys who have a lot of guns, right? Overcompensating.

Truthfully, Mr. M: it's like a baby dill gherkin, isn't it? When you look at another man's pinky finger, do you feel a pang of shameful recognition?

Nah, you're fine. I was just going for the general insult of all the local morons.

And my 2 yr old really is funny! Must get it from his father, I know.

Can't any of you a-holes friggin' spell?!?

No, can you punctuate?

Can't any of you a-holes friggin' spell?!?

Can you say over-puncutator???????????????????????

Truthfully, Mr. M: it's like a baby dill gherkin, isn't it? When you look at another man's pinky finger, do you feel a pang of shameful recognition?

I think he just gets excited!!1

I started to write:

"Ladies, let's gang up on Mr. M." but 1)there aren't any ladies and 2)all the guys and Rosetta would get over-excited at the phrase "gang up"...

The reason you don't like them is because being a cheap ass idiot whore, you don't have the intellectual capability to comprehend the sarcastic humor of them. And taking night classes in resource basket weaving isn't going to help you either.

So what you need to do is, pull your finger out of your nose, pull your other hand out of your pants that you are using to pick at your genital warts the size of of small dog, and use your hands to hold a book and read. And no, I don't mean a book with nasty nude pictures of young Italian midgets wearing bunny suits screwing sectarian Swiss Grannies, I mean a book with word. You do know what words are don't you?

Took you long enough to come up with that, too bad it's so long I can't be bothered to read it.

snap! go the bra straps

Keep telling yourself that writing bra-haiku is *almost* as good as touching one.

winooo and pj
momma fighting like little girls
snap! go the bra straps

You must have missed the post where I commented on not wearing a bra,

I do believe you are composed entirely of vaginas. You're like the Six Million Dollar Man, but all they had was old diseased pussy to stitch together instead of fancy 1970's tech......................

*watches in awe**standing with mouth open*  Lauraw's my idol 

You must have missed the post where I commented on not wearing a bra,

None of us missed the fact that there's nothing to fill it.

too bad I can't read it.

Are you illiterate?  I am so sorry.... I would have never made those jokes about the mentally retarded if I had known there was someone who really might be, or at least close to it any how. 

Any chance you are from Georgia, or Louisiana?  Maybe your not mentally challenged, maybe it's just the bumpkin in you.

lauraw, the finger thing is beneath you.

enjoy.

Wow standing! Usually you are kneeling when your mouth is open.

Maybe that's how you usually have to do it, but my husband's really tall.

Don't lie to us, those weren't jokes, those were from your personal experiences.

Does anyone get that?  Again, I am very "slow" remember?

Is it too much to ask all the morons on here to write sentences that ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE

Why start now? I don't think Ace saying "Open Blog" meants a complete make-over of the site.

Unless Laura puts up a flaming cat skull pic. And I don't mean a drawing of one...

Your husband isn't tall, you're actually a midget.

I knew you seemed familiar. You were the starring act in the midget pron renaissance festival weren't you?

Hollowpoint:

Yes, I know Germans aren't Scandis, but STL doesn't have a Swede Fest, so the next few weeks are as close I can get. Plus, there will be plenty of Spaten for me.

And Laura: most of the German "cultural" stuff centers around dancing, eating sausage and drinking beer. And talking in German.

I am definitely stealing that one.

Can't you afford your own old diseased pussy?

Oh, I guess we already know the answer to that.

No, I can't afford to own one. Fortunately for me there are women like you who give their stanky, stretched out love canals away for free.

And I was worried about saying something inappropriate.

Oh yeah, Grindhouse. What a great family movie that is.

No kidding, why not something cute, with puppets, or dolls like that fabulous kids movie Chuckies Bride?

They say you're from Mars

Penis the size of a Martian?

so inadequate

463 Did everyone go to sleep???

Lotta morons face down in puke next to their keyboards tho ....

Are we done with this nonsense?

Good.

And Laura: most of the German "cultural" stuff centers around dancing, eating sausage and drinking beer. And talking in German.

Yes, yes. Much dancing and sausage-eating going on. Got it.

UNDERSTOOD, Faggy McHomo. 'You people' are always trying to shock the normals, aren't you.

After you get your German milk-moustache you should probably scuttle the wife and kids out of there. Before sundown, when the flaming crosses get fired up.

Are we done with this nonsense?

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have that nonsense respected.

Slubs, why don't you just stab them repeatedly with a phillips head screwdriver, one about half the diameter of a pencil?

Be sure to scream "YEAAAGH" while you doing it cause that distracts them.

all the hand-eye coordination of retarded orangutan suffering from Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease -- lots of drooling and random, jerky hand movements

Krakatoa, too bad you got here so late! Laughing my ass off.

Hubby just looked in a minute ago and said, "Are they talking about your bits again?"

Me: "Ummm. No, not really. Sort of. Yeah, it's pretty bad."

HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man, I hate it I didn't stay up and catch that shit krak... nice.

Don't envy me buddy.  A simple "wow, you're God-like" will do.

You know, when I want to read about baby shit, wiserbud's travel schedule and Tijuana travel tips I always go to the flame thread on AoSHQ.

I'm so fucking disappointed with this thread, I feel like JackStraw's wife on her wedding night.  If you needy, whiny, lonely losers want a support group where you can hug and kiss and suck each others' dicks, try Craig's List.  This is a flame thread you imbeciles.

What a parade of pathetic pedestrian pederasts and poontang peddlers.

And since when do the spambots shotgun hundreds of non-sensical comments with the monicker "pajama momma"? 1,000 meth-addled self-fisting howler monkeys banging on 1,000 keyboards for 1,000 years would eventually come up with something funny so keep trying, PJM.

And no, I am not Gay, I am just a nice guy to women.  Posted by Mr Minority  Seriously what the fucking fuck.  Minority, you are weaker than an anemic preemie red-headed girl with fetal alcohol syndrome.  Go back to spit shining your gun collection with the jizz you collected from your "acting" days as the receptacle in the Anal Bukkake Sluts film series.

Tushar, you need to continue the sand blasting because it looks like you're only half done.  Maybe start the treatments up again after your wife gives birth to your anchor babies that I'll end up supporting with my tax dollars.

wiserbud, licking the spooge off the airline blanket while you try to have an orgasm by sticking airline liquor bottles up your gerbil hole doesn't qualify you for the mile-high club.  And tell you Dad to stop calling me in the middle of the night.  I'm not letting him suck me off again no matter how much he wants to pay me.

If Sticky B and lauraw had regular sex rather than donkey punch sex and they had a kid, his name would be Cuffy Meigs and he would look like THIS.

krakatoa, you're one of the worst offenders on this thread because you used to occasionally belch out a funny comment or two.  Maybe your family found out that you're a limp wristed granny lover who enjoys nothing better than licking the syphilitic drippings off flea infested dogs cocks and you can't bring the funny anymore.

Hey pajama momma, when you're done letting Slublog feltch you, why don't you wrap this up for us by flaming yourself?

And apparently I'm the stupid bitch.  Posted by: pajama momma

Now excuse me while I go snort blow off some dead hooker's ass.

Ralph L,

After going HERE, get back to making my shirts with the horsey on it.

Rosetta? You're the only person I know that could fuck up a wet dream

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felching

Wiki has actual published references, and not some dyslexic buttmuncher's cutesy usages, so stick that in my ass and suck it.

And my name's Ralph, not Link.

PJM is the mayor of turd town.

Oh and Rosetta I forgot to mention your post is a tedious, homogenized, chameleon-esque scribble which amounts to nothing more than the demented cacophonous racket of a drugged lunatic banging loudly on kitchen pots and pans. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

Here's a tip: no one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy if you wear a wig to hide to the scars; stop posting your drivel on message boards, and learn to control the slobbering. Are you always this ignorant, or are you making a special effort today? However, I'll consider letting you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

See?  This is much better than talking about the texture and color of your kid's poop.

I mean except when you read a wiserbud comment and then it's pretty much the same thing.

Oh and Rosetta I forgot to mention your post is a tedious, homogenized, chameleon-esque scribble which amounts to nothing more than the demented cacophonous racket of a drugged lunatic banging loudly on kitchen pots and pans. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

Here's a tip: no one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy if you wear a wig to hide to the scars; stop posting your drivel on message boards, and learn to control the slobbering. Are you always this ignorant, or are you making a special effort today? However, I'll consider letting you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

What's that buzzing sound?  Do you guys hear that?

Maximum Occupancy: 850

No Shoes - No Shirt - No Problem

pajama momma's vagine is so big, she inserts the Sybian.

Rosetta, I was going to let you have the last word, but only if you promised it was your last word. You couldn't do it. What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting to read? You are nastier than a five-dollar whore getting a shit enema.

I'd rather run my nostril down a cactus than read another one of your posts.

 You're a waste of time, space, air, flesh, and the rectum you were born from, retard

wiserbud, please call to arrange delivery of your order.

I'd rather run my nostril down a cactus than read another one of your posts.

Keep me out of this.

From Wiki:  The Sybian is able to hold over 1000 pounds of weight or pressure.

Guess PJM got hers reinforced.

You are nastier than a five-dollar whore getting a shit enema.

Keep me out of this.

Wiserbud, Rosetta and Ralph are cheating on you.

If any of you click on ANYTHING that pajama momma links, you're dumber than Miss Teen South Carolina after smoking a pound of crack.

Rosetta:

If Sticky B and lauraw had regular sex

When  "If" changes to "Now that" my lifetime dream will finally be fulfilled. I am eternally grateful to you for planting that thought.

In the mean time, get back to your "tongue braile reading" lessons so that we can figure out if there is a hidden message in all of those herpes sores on wiserbud's asshole.

Damn, wish we both had hair like that.  Rosetta's got more on his back than his head.

krak, I hope you finally got the hanky code straight, if I can use that word.  You're only wasting time and gas if you keep picking up other bottoms.

Rosetta's got more on his back than his head.

Uh, I think the idea of a flamewar is to insult people with things that aren't true.

Jack, whatever it takes to rationalize your obsession.

Can your wife feel the Straw?

Mr. Minority said to JackStraw, "Give me 12 inches and make it hurt."

JackStraw fucked him 24 times and hit him in the head with his cane.

Flame off.

I nominate Mr Minority for a Flame War Lifetime Achievement Award because that rant was kick ass.

Flame on.

JackStraw is sick of waiting around for Nathan's Hot Dogs to start a hot dog ass-ramming contest but he's going to keep practicing just in case.

Minority was really trite (except for the baboon spouge).

Every dickhead tells you to off yourself.  We know you've tried, one day you'll get it right.

I'm on fire today.

PJM, call the clinic and order the 55 gallon drum of the balm.  That should do the trick.

JackStraw, I can't believe that of all your daddy's sperm, you were the fastest.  Anyway, have fun with Ralph L's post-op brother.

I hold. In my nasty little bent hand, the glittery Tiara. And the Sash. Of the long forgotten,

THREAAAAD KILLLLLAAAAAHHH

Last looosah to post. Am so proud.

What's up, bitches?

This was a good flame thread.

First place award for funniest woman overall goes to pajama momma by a long shot.  Second place award goes to wiserbud.

Funniest one-liner goes to lauraw for telling Mr Minority that he is composed entirely of vaginas.

Good times.

Ace used a similar line a long time ago on a flamethread and -yoink! it went, right into the Insult Vault.

Yeah, this turned out well. PJM and wiserbud were real funny.

Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast

Yeah? Well guess what bitches? I'm actually holding the thread killing wand!

ZOW! I'm last!!!!!!!!

Guess what? You can take your tiara and stuff it!

I have here in my fat little sausage fingers a thread killing wand!

*SNAP* bitches

LAST!

We'll see.

I think in two days you 'tards are going to be too distracted comparing finger-stinks and you'll forget all about this.

*yawn*

Global Warming Theory doesn't account for certain contradictions in the fossil record which, counterintuitively.....mweh heh heh, C-YA, recent comments thingy that barely works anyway.

*fingering the tiara*

It's so sparkly.

*opens door*

*looks around*

*closes door*

*flips the bird to OregonMuse*

Posted by: pajama momma

The incubation period is seven to ten days.

*knocks on door*

*leaves flaming pile of dog crap*

*runs away*

*discreetly puts Lemon Party pics in everyone's inboxes*

*mails dead fish to pajama momma*

*mails dead fish to pajama momma*

puts return to sender on package

*gives pajama momma a hot foot*

Hold on while  I look that up.

Oh yeah?  I'm going to make you fall off a cliff only to be suspended in midair until you look up and see an anvil falling at a high rate of speed at your face.

You look in terror and scream, "AHHHHHHHHHHH" as it makes contact and you crash to the earth and crack the ground around you.

 All I'll be able to see are your arms and legs protruding from the anvil. hhhhhhmph! take that

Don't make me bring out my ACME kit.

*cracks open beer*

You paint a black mark on a cliff face and fake road divider lines leading to this rock hoping I will fall for it and splat into the rock while traveling at a high rate of speed.

Here I come going oh so fast and what is this? I go directly through this newly created tunnel.

How can this be? You just don't understand. You must check it out for yourself. You stand in the fake road and peer into the tunnel when *SPLAT* you get run over by an ACME truck. MEEP MEEP

*crack opens*

beeeeeer

where's the bleach?

*puts in video of midget-on-ottoman porn starring pajama momma and OregonMuse*

*farts in general direction of Ralph L*

*stuffs Rosetta, Oregon Muse and Pajama Momma into the back of a black van with tinted windows*

*Van drives off, never to be seen again*

*Lights a cigarette, and smiles menacingly at Ralph, who pisses himself*

*Rosetta's gas knocks OregonMuse and the van driver unconscious, but pajama momma can handle it from her stint as a vegetarian.*

*pajama momma smack Rosetta upside the fat head with a bat that happened to have been left conveniently in the van and leaves his sorry crying ass*

*pajama momma runs back towards her house for her computer while jumping over Ralph's piss puddle and pushing lauraw into it*

now change it quick so no one else will ever get to see it

mwahahahahahah!

*sets bear trap for next mofo that comments*

*leaves decomposing corpse of diseased midget hooker as bait*

*runs away*

*sets bear trap for next mofo that comments*

*leaves decomposing corpse of diseased midget hooker as bait*

*runs away*

*thinks to self, "good thing I set that twice."*

*curses AoSHQ for having a blog running off a Commodore 64*

Ho hum.

Actually, she didn't cuz she was dead.

But she was a lot hotter than PJM's ice snatch.  Composting does that.

*calls on phone*

*hangs up when OregonMuse answers*

Did you do that yourself OregonMuse?

*Quit calling me and breathing into the phone rosetta I have caller ID*

*comes in*

*makes sammich*

*takes nap*

*leaves*

*pajama momma bolts the door*

*hoping to keep rosetta's ass out*

*files restraining order*

*comes in*

*steals every lightbulb in the entire place*

*leaves*

*cough*

'scuse me.

*holding detonator with one hand while eating a sandwich*

this tastes....funny.

*pajama momma misdials and accidentally orders a pizza and eats entire thing*

*rosetta, being the neatfreak that he is and the fact that he has prader willi syndrome decides to start eating the vomit, thus killing two birds with one stone*

Hey lauraw, where did you get the header picture from?  Is that your cat?

I Googled wet pussy but that picture was not in my results.

*turns lights off*

*leaves*

Pffft

*tells OregonMuse to let go of my large stick*

Pffft

lauraw farted!!!!!!

*lauraw's gas trips firesprinkler system*

*OregonMuse sobs uncontrollably because his hair is getting messed up*

*Rosetta takes him in the back room to cuddle and make it all better*

*RalphL is jealous*

*slips ketamine in pajama momma's drink*

*tatoos "Rosetta Rules" on her back*

*runs away*

Excuse me while I whip this out...

I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying motherfucker, motherfucker! Everytime my fingers touch brain I'm Superfly TNT, I'm the Guns of the Navarone. In fact, what the fuck am I doing in the back? You're the motherfucker who should be on brain detail! We're fucking switching, I'm washing the windows and you're picking up this nigger's skull.

lolPulp Fiction

im in ur car

pickin up ur brainz

i can haz adrenain shot to hart?

im ur hunny bunny

robbin ur dinerz

*feels uncomfortable after reading lauraw's comment*

*worries that she may have mental health issues*

It means that the flame war is back on, motherfuckers! Lemme go first:

I love testicles!

fuck.

no woryz rozeta

i ok

im in ur flamthred

scarin ur doodz

PJM, your ass is so wide that when the Chinese circus comes to town, they

I love testicles!

I hate these flamewar things.

Hey!  What the fuck?  Who let all these people in here?

*drinks all of lauraw's vodka, refills bottle with water*

*leaves party*

*calls cops to report noise disturbance*

glad you're here at the flamewar thread. Having said that, you're such a bad cook, they print the guest lists for her dinner parties in the obituaries.

Oh and cuffy loves testicules

her dinner parties in the obituaries

uh, that should be your dinner parties, dangit

*takes a leak*

*leaves seat up*

*falls in toilet*

*curses at rosetta*

Pipe down OregonMuse.

We've got a piperdown. I repeat the piper is down!

Holy crap. 

You losers have been in here all week?

*leaves quickly

A hunchback is a glorious thing. I can watch TV in bed without extra pillows to prop me up. And no acid-reflux heartburn in the night, nosirree.

It's rough and scaly and therefore handy for striking a match when the matchbook is wet.

Construction workers don't harass me when I cross the street. They just drop their tools and vomit with wonder.

It's a guaranteed conversational icebreaker at parties, when people recoil and say, "What the FUCK is that just walked in??"

I don't mean to brag.

Hey chicks, whose turn is it to get me a beer?

Don't fight.  You can each have a turn.

They just drop their tools

Which doesn't mean you have to pick up their tools every time, leave some for Rosie and PJM to play with.

Beer? No beer for you dear, but I'd more than thrilled to make you and Ralph a cocktail.

An ethylene glycol cocktail.

*secretly tapes piece of paper to lauraw's back that says "HUMP me"*

Ralph L is so hot, if he were a Twinky, OregonMuse would pump him full of cream.

*replaces all of pajama momma's clothes with the exact stuff one size smaller*

*runs away*

*replaces all of pajama momma's clothes with the exact stuff one size smaller*

Hhhhhmmmm, me thinks someone just wants to see pajama momma in tighter clothes.

Rosetta if you were a submarine OregonMuse would fill you full of seamen.

That's too close to my Twinky joke; you lose 5 points.

Write your own material!!

*moons pajama momma*

*runs away*

That's too close to my Twinky joke; you lose 5 points.

What can I say? You inspired me.

*moons pajama momma*

*smacks rosetta on his nekkid ass because he's too fat to run away quickly*

We done here, fagsicles?

No, we're shooting for 700, Quasimodo.

I don't think Oregon's dick is long enough to reach the depth of Rosetta's fat ass cleavage.  Mine probably ain't either, and the smell would make a normal man wilt.  Bring up the elephants!

We done here, fagsicles?

Over?  Did you say "over"?  Nothing is over until we decide it is!  Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?  Hell no!  And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough............the tough get goin'!  Who's with me? Let's go!

What the fuck happened to the AoSHQ I used to know?  Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh?  "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Rosetta, we might get in trouble."

Well just kiss my ass from now on!  Not me!  I'm not gonna take this. Ralph L, he's a dead man!  pajama momma, dead!  OregonMuse, dead!

afraid my ass rosetta. I'm not going with you because I'm pushing you in, you fagsicle

oh ahahaha, I love that word fagsicle, it rolls off the tongue

Credit 'fagsicle' to Iowahawk, his Zark-man essay is the first time I saw it.

*Hunchback-sympathetic Kodiak bear grabs Rosetta, tears out his heart, and eats it in front of his still-living face*

OH MY.

Quite a setback for Rosie.

Don't know how he's going to come back from THAT.

Please excuse me, I have an itch on my nose.

Lauaraw at work.

When my links don't work, sometimes I cut myself.

lauraw at work HERE!

rosetta's wedding reception

link hovering works here too

I'm dyin' ovah heah

funny folks

Thanks for the sammich, pajama momma.

Now go sit quietly in the corner until I need you.

COCK LINK!!!

Ahem...excuse me while I whip THIS out.

Farging icehole.

I could watch an entire clip of Roman Moronie cussing.

THIS clip actually made me cry.

My favorite movie to kill time is Happy Gilmore

It is a silly movie.  I liked it too.

Finally there is something you like other than mowing your front lawn in a sequined speedo.

That's it.

I'm last.

Accept it and move on.

*pours gas on thread*

*smokes cigarette and thinks about the good times*

*flicks lit cigarette on thread*

*watches thread burn to the ground*

Zombie thread!!!

*steals OregonMuse's identity*

*charges $50,000 in porn, booze and firearms for personal use*

*pays for sex re-assignment surgury for Mrs OregonMuse*

Hey...when did this thread turn into a gar bar?

*Still wondering what a gar bar is*

Gar Bar is the elephant whose dick is long enough to reach Rosetta's manpussy.

If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.  Everybody jumps.  He falls down screaming, blood squirts out of his nose, nobody says fucking shit after that.

You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the fuck up.

If it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers know better than to fuck around, so if you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a bitch in two.  If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers.  The little one.  Then tell him his thumb's next.  After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear.

I was channeling Harvey Keitel from Reservoir Dogs.

You each lose 5 points for not knowing that.

What movie was that Rosetta?

The movie is Reservoir Dogs...you know...the Quentin Tarantino movie where Michael Madsen cuts that cop's ear off?

My favorite line:

You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the fuck up.

Hahahaha.  Tough guy.

Don't blame Quentin for your nervous breakdown rosetta

OregonMuse,

Ralph L obviously has a crush on you which is making everyone uncomfortable.

Hahahahahaha.

Stupid crossing-dressing, transgendered-hermaphrodite Ralph L.

Off with his or her head or heads!!!

Much like a family business, I look forward to handing off the comment responsibility on this thread to my grandson.

Viva la flame thread!

LIttle known fact:  lauraw's hump is made up of skin from her labiaplasty.

icka backa soda cracka

icka backa boo

icka backa soda cracka

I love you

In winter in the woods alone

Against the trees I go

I mark a maple for my own

And lay the maple low.

At four o'clock I shoulder ax,

And in the the afterglow

I link a line of shadowy tracks across the tinted snow.

I see for nature no defeat

In one tree's overthrow

Or for myself in my retreat

For yet another blow

I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry.  I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'.  I'm not lookin' at the movie 'cause I saw it seven years ago.  It's "The Mack" with Max Julian, Carol Speed, and Richard Pryor, written by Bobby Poole, directed by Michael Campus, and released by Cinerama Releasing Company in 1984.

I'm not scared of you.  I just don't like you.  In that envelope is some payoff money.  Alabama's moving on to some greener pastures.  We're not negotiatin'.  I don't like to barter.  I don't like to dicker.  I never have fun in Tijuana.  That price is non-negotiable.  What's in that envelope is for my peace of mind.  My peace of mind is worth that much.  Not one penny more.

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

What's that from, huh?

I see pajama momma's underpants!

She buys them HERE.

What's that from, huh?

A stupid girl, or a girlie-man, who else?

Apologies for the redundancy.

*yawn* Must hold on. I feel like The Fonze in that dance marathon episode. I'm determinded to win............will........not..........lose

Are you referring to Ye Olde Fonze that used hang out at Al's Soda Shoppe?

There's no "e" in Fonz, pajama Quayle momma.

*thinks to self, "YES!!!  In your FACE!!!!!!"*

*jumps up and pretends to spike football after touchdown"*

*violently twists ankle, falls to floor*

There is however, an "E" in Fonzie. I just forgot the "I" you homo sapien.

No you DINNIT because you said "THE Fonze".  Fonzie is used without the "THE"!!!!

*thinks to self, "YES!!!!  YOU ARE BURNED AGAIN!!!!"*

*pumps fist in air, accidentally hits Ralph L in the vagine*

HAHAHAHA! I hate you!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!

It's good to be the King.

Also, I just buried a time capsule in my backyard that will be dug up in 1,000 years and in it are instructions to post a comment on this thread under my name.

So EAT IT!!!!

Where is WickedPinto?  I haven't seen him comment in several days, and the last one I remember was incoherent (so what else is new?) and unrelated to the thread.

What's Ace's record for number of comments?

*pumps fist in air, accidentally hits Ralph L in the vagine*

I have a mangina.  A vagine sounds like a vegetable.

I didn't realize you were only 3 feet tall.

I'm thinking of closing the comments to this thread at some completely random pre-chosen future time. I think that's the only way to declare a....uh....a winner.

Because the last person to post on this defunct thread several weeks from now will be such a winner. Oh yes.

The tiara and sash await.

I'm thinking of closing the comments to this thread at some completely random pre-chosen future time.

Does that mean the comment I did in 3010 will be kicked back to me?

LAST!!!!

Do NOT Google the following:

Duce-te-ai in pizda ma-tii ca sa-i faci laba lu ala micu cand te fut in cur.

*waits until pajama momma passes out drunk*

*sews her to the bed using nylon line*

*takes last beer out of her fridge*

*leaves*

*plots diabolical revenge*

*as soon as I'm untied*

did you at least leave her a fifty this time, like she asked?

Because I'm part of a group plan I only pay $25.

LAST!!!!

I WIN!!!!!

Sorry.  Premature celebration...

*how embarrassing*

Sorry.  Premature celebration...

shocker

Premature celebration...

That's what happens when you (or someone else) massage your prostate.....so I've been told.  Bounce on a greasy cucumber for a couple of hours 'til you can control yourself.

Uh, I wrote this.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

lauraw? Faszszopó büdös kurva

Bounce on a greasy cucumber for a couple of hours 'til you can control yourself.

Ironically this is the same thing I have to tell Mrs Ralph L.

The name’s Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho.  Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.

Also, I don’t like no one touching my stuff.  So just keep your meathooks off.  If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you.

And I don’t like nobody touching me.  Any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.

 God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm just sayin', Dude.  Shut the fuck up, Donny!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZF3r5lAvhYI

Back off, man! Dont make me use it!

M’kay, kids, you shouldn’t do drugs, m’kay, drugs are bad. You see, I was at the bottom of the barrel, I was a wreck. Why, I didn’t even care about money. I was wasting my life…

You boys need to listen up, m’kay, what I’m talking about might save your life some day…

Drugs are bad. You shouldn’t do drugs. If you do them, you’re bad, because drugs are bad. It’s a bad thing to do drugs, so don’t be bad by doing drugs, m’kay, that’d be bad.

Casa Bonita,Casa Bonita!

Food and fun in a festive atmosphere!

JOOOOOOOOO!

String theory strongly suggests the existence of ten or eleven (in M-theory) spacetime dimensions, as opposed to the usual four (three spatial and one temporal) used in relativity theory.

However the theory can describe universes with four effective (observable) spacetime dimensions by a variety of methods.

Despite the advances in understanding the composition and mechanical functioning of the known universe allowed by string theory, it has failed to account for why I'm so much better than all of you sluts, wimps and faggots.

click click click click click click

*continues walking across floor barefoot*

click click click click

click click click click

You have sex with your sister?!?

Creepy HAWT!!!

Why do I even bother with you two?

Important Question:

OregonMuse, what's your favorite battery?

A)  D

B)  C

C)  AA

D)  AAA

E)  9 volt

Because you love us so much.  C'mon, admit it. We're so lovable.

That's exactly why I keep coming back.

And not that anyone is asking me, but I'm going to have to say for uselfulness, it's definitely AA. For torturing people by getting them to put their tongues on it, 9V all the way.

Is that a trick question?

No.  It's just a random question that I would like to know the answer to.

You fuck while you're asleep?

No, she mounts her husband's nocturnal erections, and she pretends and he dreams that s/he's doing George Clooney.

NEVER!!

Wait, I am home.

Best line from a great movie...

SHUT IT DOWN!!!

You flame sixteen days, and what do you get?

another fortnight older and deeper in debt

Rosetta don't ya call me, cuz I can't go--

I've got a milky green discharge.

Jazz flute is for little fairy boys.

By the thumbing of my prick, something sticky this way cums.

--Willy Shakespeare

Jazz flute is for little fairy boys.

Rosetta, are you going to take that lying down?

9 volt.

Posted by: OregonMuse

9 volt?  Hahahahaha.  What a homo.

Last!!!!

My comments for the next several days will always be last.  And invisible.

Jeez, PJM, still picking up strange men every night?

Leave some for the rest of us.

Last!!!!

That is the demand of Rosetta's partners.

Your love for the unexpected joy of "snow days" will not translate directly into a love for next week's hellish rains of fire and blood.