Ace of Spades HQ

August 19, 2008

Finally Some Progress
— LauraW

In Vehicular Manslaughter Tech

As you drive to and from work day after day, surely you observe other drivers weaving slowly yet unpredictably in and out of the left lane while reading People Magazine, talking on their cellphones, and eating linguini with a fork and spoon.

You probably often yawn to yourself, "How can my daily commute get more dangerous? Surely there's some way to increase lethal distractions on the road. It's like these pathetic assholes aren't even trying anymore."

Well my friends, your boredom is about to come to a painful, crashing end.

....here's a microwave that's not only mini, it's actually designed to work in your car, so you can heat up pop-tarts or nuke some links while you drive to work (theoretically, at least -- let's hope you do this cooking while parked) [Let's hope a million dollars flies out of my ass, while we're at it.-Ed.]
Maplin, a UK electronics retailer (think Radio Shack), is selling a microwave that runs on 12 Volt DC power -- yes, it's meant to be plugged into your car's cigarette lighter, which means you'll be able to heat up your burritos, cold pizza, or even ramen noodles while you careen down the highway at 80-miles-per-hour.

NOW you're talkin', you crazy sumbitches! Microwaves are synonymous with speed, am I right?

Be assured my darling morons that your friends and neighbors are right now ordering this product with trembling fingers. You might maybe think of getting some better tires and wearing driving gloves.

And stockpile Stouffer's Welsh Rarebit lava-hot cheese sauce. That stuff will sell out in no time. It's made for the open road.

From Fark.

Posted by: LauraW at 07:07 AM | Comments (62)
Post contains 267 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I love shit like this. Between this and the cooler/heater box you could really trick out a full size van. Just keep the electronics away from the water bed/dinner table.

Posted by: Rocks at August 19, 2008 07:10 AM (Q1lie)

2 This thing would be great for road trips. It can go in the second row with the LCD and the xbox. I don't know if you'd need a fridge. Coolers work pretty good.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at August 19, 2008 07:18 AM (1Ug6U)

3 Wonder if can resurrect a two year old bag of opened Cheetos that slipped under my seat somehow?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at August 19, 2008 07:19 AM (6L459)

4 You laugh,

As we speak, I'm working on a portable deep-fat fryer, that's powered from the cigarette lighter socket.

For those, who're tired of waiting in line at KFC.

Posted by: franksalterego at August 19, 2008 07:20 AM (QdFjo)

5 I'm working on a portable deep-fat fryer, that's powered from the cigarette lighter socket.

A sloshing bucket of sizzling hot fat in the center console? Sure, what could go wrong?

Posted by: lauraw at August 19, 2008 07:24 AM (Mu36R)

6 Oops, forgot to italicize the quote.

Posted by: lauraw at August 19, 2008 07:24 AM (Mu36R)

you observe other drivers weaving slowly yet unpredictably in and out of the left lane while reading People Magazine, talking on their cellphones, and eating linguini with a fork and spoon

As much as I moan and groan about living 3 hours from a big city, I'm starting to appreciate the lack of traffic. Plus, people here are WEIRD and tend to drive below the speed limit.

When we move elsewhere, it's going to take some time to get used to crazy drivers again.

Interesting idea. Pretty soon regular size cars are going to have most of the features of RVs.

Posted by: MamaAJ at August 19, 2008 07:29 AM (X6Zdh)

8 UL Approved

Posted by: franksalterego at August 19, 2008 07:31 AM (QdFjo)

9 A sloshing bucket of sizzling hot fat in the center console? Sure, what could go wrong?

Nothing,
As long as the kids are buckled in their safety seats.

Posted by: franksalterego at August 19, 2008 07:36 AM (QdFjo)

10 A deep frying accident in the car while on the family vacation to Jellystone.
It sounds the the origin story for a comic book villain.

Posted by: Rocks at August 19, 2008 07:42 AM (Q1lie)

11 Hmmm, lets combine the low efficiency of a magnetron tube with the low efficiency of a power supply that has to boost 12 volts up to around 4,000 volts for the magnetron cathode. Seems like a plain old electric toaster would warm your pop-tarts quicker.

Posted by: John Galt at August 19, 2008 07:46 AM (SDkq3)

12 These are the times that I am glad I live a mile from work.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at August 19, 2008 07:48 AM (O9Cc8)

Deep fat fryer. hmmm. Much better than my fondue pot idea.

Posted by: pistolero at August 19, 2008 07:56 AM (QuCVu)

14 I need to go into personal injury law fast. This has enormous money making potential.

Why is John Edwards ALWAYS a step ahead of me?

You know, Casey Anthony could have just incinerated her.... never mind, that's too sick for me.

Posted by: ghy at August 19, 2008 07:57 AM (8jYMc)

15 Hey, some higher end vehicles now come with internal Wi-Fi: for when that crushing comment has to show up on AoS now, dammit!

Of course, that doesn't even account for the possibilities of death-match Halo for driver and passengers.....whimper.

Posted by: SDN at August 19, 2008 07:58 AM (F2ojY)

Full-sized Weber gas grill on the the dash. Let me get my crescent wrench.

Pussies.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 19, 2008 07:59 AM (B+qrE)

17 Actually one of those Ron Popeil Rotisserie Grills built in right where the glove box goes would be very cool.

Posted by: Rocks at August 19, 2008 08:09 AM (Q1lie)

18 Just make sure the door to the microwave is part of the driver's seat, right between their legs, for easy access and maximum gonad exposure for sterilization.

Posted by: rinseandspit at August 19, 2008 08:10 AM (ao5cQ)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zewDAa99Ns8

Kinda appropriate

Posted by: eddiebear at August 19, 2008 08:11 AM (wnU1W)

20 What's with this fascination over electrical gizmos for your car? I've been cooking behind the wheel with sterno for decades.

Posted by: Tinian at August 19, 2008 08:15 AM (1Mq7K)

21 Hell, I've had a six chicken capacity fry-o-later in my Prius since 2001.

Posted by: Michael Moore at August 19, 2008 08:39 AM (UlUtt)

22 Microwave popcorn has always been one of my personal favorites for the daily commute. (xtra butter)
...And when it's not being used for munchies, you can remove the shielding for additional roadside functionality; jamming cellphones and radar, changing traffic signals, and/or sterilizing passengers and pedestrians.

How do I get in on the IPO?

Posted by: Fritz at August 19, 2008 09:12 AM (zAvxs)

23 I can't wait to see what the CPSC and NHTSA decide to do with the warning labels on this. How ever large the product is, the labels will be larger still, complete with stick figure drivers trying not to burn themselves on toasters while airbags deploy. The warning gongs and chimes will have to put the Warner Bros. sound effects department into black ink. What is the warning sound for "microwave complete, toaster coils too hot, seat belts unbuckled, lights on, door open, ignition off, key inserted, low fuel, voicemail message waiting, radar detected ahead, and garage door opener signal lost"?

Posted by: Potosi Joel at August 19, 2008 09:22 AM (TPRbZ)

24 For the past year I have seen an Hispanic framing crew use a small microwave with a powder converter bolted on the top make lunch. They attach it to a battery with jumper cables. They work for one of my customers. I don't know if he or they came up with it, but it keeps them from driving into town to heat up their frejoles.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at August 19, 2008 09:36 AM (3upoC)

25 Just think of how good your car will smell when you make a batch of brownies.

Mmmm.

Posted by: lauraw at August 19, 2008 09:40 AM (kUPCP)

26 Welsh Rarebit Hot Pockets!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at August 19, 2008 09:45 AM (4L5Tl)

27 Just think of how good your car will smell when you make a batch of brownies.

I jus' hope all these new appliances will be compatible with my new flying car.

Posted by: franksalterego at August 19, 2008 09:48 AM (QdFjo)

28 But will the clock on the microwave in the car work?

Posted by: eddiebear at August 19, 2008 09:52 AM (wnU1W)

29 Cool! You could microwave a pocket pizza then grab a beer from the six pack fridge that also runs on a cigarette lighter. Then tune in to some movie or TV broadcast on your dash board player.

And if you get in a crash, On-Star GMs call the accident in.

Posted by: drfredc at August 19, 2008 10:37 AM (9jraf)

30 That would be perfect for the Macaroni and Cheese Push Pop.

Posted by: mesablue at August 19, 2008 11:08 AM (5yNaE)

They should package it w/a 12V fully optioned fake va-jay-jay.

Posted by: Dogstar at August 19, 2008 11:23 AM (6AcsH)

32 Does the GAU-8 (The A-10's main gun) come with a car adapter version? Or, can someone help with the wiring? /remove tongue from cheek.

Posted by: Al at August 19, 2008 11:29 AM (Lk931)

33 Yup, the hot cheese dripping into my scrotal area needs to be nuclear hot if it's going to do any good at all.

Posted by: Nutburn Nate at August 19, 2008 12:00 PM (h/5U0)

34 When they figure out a way to install a refrigerator function in the glove box to keep my six pack of beer cold, then I'll be impressed.

Posted by: sfcmac at August 19, 2008 12:08 PM (l6WGj)

...and you thought a steering wheel book clip was a stupid idea.

Posted by: scott at August 19, 2008 12:18 PM (8nB5X)

36 17 Actually one of those Ron Popeil Rotisserie Grills built in right where the glove box goes would be very cool.

That would be very cool, but you can't make s'mores in it. The ability to make microwave s'mores on the way to work is an important goalpost to most Americans.

Posted by: lauraw at August 19, 2008 12:40 PM (lto2L)

37 When is the Shiastsu massage driver's seat option going to happen?

Posted by: mikey at August 19, 2008 12:44 PM (E3WmO)

38 If a million dollars does fly out of your butt, can you spot me $50?

Posted by: Kevin at August 19, 2008 01:14 PM (OEF4E)

39 Wash it first, but srsly, I could use the cash.

Posted by: Kevin at August 19, 2008 01:14 PM (OEF4E)

40 So, gone are the days of toasting/broiling on the engine block?

Never thought it could happen in my lifetime. Wow. Just wow. Still, some will miss the afterbite of exhaust and burned oil.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 19, 2008 02:12 PM (sI5Ho)

Perfectly appropriate: Quaint my Ride. (Stick with it)

Posted by: Will at August 19, 2008 04:41 PM (WnBa/)

42 I've been cooking behind the wheel with sterno for decades.

Wait.... you can cook and drive with sterno too?

Posted by: wiserbud at August 19, 2008 05:23 PM (EPkbl)

43 I used to drink the sterno fuel and drive. With my patented "Electro Pocket Pussy" plugged in......Seriously, WTF. What happened to H.P. ratings, 0-60 times, skidpad g's? I saw an add for a Focus and all it was about was how it was a rolling jukebox...My personal theory is that since kids can't do performance mods on the cheap, they add "fart pipe exhausts", in dash TV/DVD etc...None of which is a help when we have the lowest standards of driving skills, and give a license to illiterates and illegals.

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 19, 2008 05:48 PM (J6t3Y)

To whoever above worried about 12 volts not being enough to cook a weenie, or such.

The new hybrids are "loaded" with the volts. So much in fact that emergency responder types are having to get more training, and equipment to handle problems caused by the fucking things when they crash.

Posted by: Anton Heusain Levay at August 19, 2008 08:27 PM (wUExg)

45 very well information you write it very clean neon signs wholesale. I’m very lucky to get this information from you Business Signs. I will give it to my friends.Thanks.Pretty good post LED neon sign. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts LED Signs. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.

Posted by: Advertising signs at January 14, 2011 04:24 AM (h9sGl)

nhl hockey jerseys nhl hockey jerseys

oakley sunglasses oakley sunglasses

pandora jewellery pandora jewellery

cheap nhl jerseys cheap nhl jerseys

Posted by: hockey jerseys at June 01, 2011 08:07 PM (ZN5Bn)

47 you may like the cheap mac makeup, it sounds well. they like to wholesale mac cosmetics here. discount mac makeup at mac cosmetics outlet online.

Posted by: discount mac cosmetics at June 19, 2011 08:26 PM (PJJXP)

48 If you want to install HID Kits in your car then you will have to follow the steps that are given in this article.
By following the steps described it will become easy for you to install hid kit in your car by yourself.
Usually people have to go to a mechanic and ask if he can install hid kits in their car but if you know how to do it then there is no need to go to a mechanic or automobile electrician. First of all you will have to prepare yourself for installing hid headlights to your car.

Posted by: HID Kits at June 21, 2011 02:04 AM (5gmAe)

49 thx you !
This is a sweet blog. I’m going subscribe.Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

iPaymu.com Pembayaran Online Indonesia

Posted by: iPaymu.com Pembayaran Online Indonesia at July 08, 2011 12:54 PM (t3TRg)

50 wew nice story hmmm Judi Bola Online and i think about this one i like too Taruhan Bola Online

Posted by: huker at July 11, 2011 06:11 AM (DaEUg)

51 Because of good <b><a href="http://www.all-good-batteries.com/panasonic/lumix+dmczs3/digital+camera+battery.htm">panasonic lumix dmc-zs3 battery</a></b> explanation inside you posts, Let me good blog supplying plenty of expertise and enlightenment.

Posted by: Digital Camera Battery at July 14, 2011 10:37 PM (Gkqhr)

52 This is a sweet blog. I’m going subscribe.Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

Metode Bisnis Online Memberikan Bukti Nyata

Posted by: Tips Blogspot at August 21, 2011 11:46 AM (o5/5f)

I've already bookmark this article and will definitely refer this article to all my close friends and colleagues. Thanks for posting!

Posted by: macoutlet at September 08, 2011 11:44 PM (R2nHS)

54 Jasa Pembuatan Blog Kejadian Aneh Update AVG

Posted by: Jasa Pembutan Blog at September 09, 2011 10:59 AM (tZ5i2)

55 Troy Tulowitzki homered, Seth Smith tripled twice and the Colorado Rockies rallied to beat the streaking Arizona Diamondbacks 8-3 on Tuesday night.Cheap New Era CapsJordan Pacheco and Carlos Gonzalez had two hits each for Colorado, which beat Arizona for just the fifth time in 17 games. Aaron Hill and Justin Upton had two hits each for the Diamondbacks, who had won 12 of their last 13 to take a seven-game lead in the NL West. Carlos Gonzalez's RBI single off David Hernandez with two outs in the eighth pulledColorado Rockies Caps

Posted by: Wholesale Baseball Caps at September 16, 2011 04:56 AM (TUqd0)

56 It drivers me crazy.

Posted by: hp drivers at September 18, 2011 10:22 PM (7WpGz)

57 The Nike Mercurial Superfly the boot world like nothing before, sending ripples through the boot community on its path to becoming the most talked about and the best-seller soccer shoe ever. Last year, Nike vapor soccer shoes introduced to a soccer shoe that set a new standard in signature boot design. Meet and Greet Heathrow airport parking ACCA

Posted by: Adrin at December 07, 2011 06:16 AM (0CO3F)

動画変換 Mac
HD 動画変換 Mac
MP4 変換 Mac
AVI DVD変換 Mac

Posted by: a14789632 at December 13, 2011 04:59 AM (MB21u)

The ipod to mac transferis powerful and functional tool, with it, you can transfer, copy, rip and manage your music, movies, photos, ePub, PDF files, Audiobook, Voice Memo, Podcast and TV show from iPod to Mac, iPod to iTunes, iPod to iPod, etc. What is more, it also can help you transfer music from ipod to computer.

Posted by: best ipod to computer transfer at December 15, 2011 04:44 AM (3blWf)

The ipod to mac transfer is powerful and functional tool, with it, you can transfer, copy, rip and manage your music, movies, photos, ePub, PDF files, Audiobook, Voice Memo, Podcast and TV show from iPod to Mac, iPod to iTunes, iPod to iPod, etc. What is more, it also can help you transfer music from ipod to computer.

Posted by: best ipod to computer transfer at December 15, 2011 04:45 AM (3blWf)

61 Discount airfares to Manila I have been coming to your site for a long time. You have done such a great job with it. Keep up the good work.

Posted by: Andrew at May 30, 2012 04:08 AM (dXV3A)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Post is locked.

88kb generated in 0.6397 seconds; 48 queries returned 233 records.
Powered by Minx 1.1.4-pink.