Ace of Spades HQ

May 30, 2007

Cracked's Top Twenty "That Guy" Actors Of All Time
— Ace

As in, "You know, it's that guy. That guy. That guy from that movie where he did that thing to Bruce Willis."

Good stuff, although a lot of these guys are pretty famous by now and have left "that guy" status.

#7: PETER STORMARE

You Might Know Him From...
The Big Lebowski, Prison Break, Bad Boys II, Minority Report, Armageddon, and instilling an intense fear of wood-chippers in you in Fargo.
Special Moves
Believing in nothing, severing pinkie toes, and just generally giving off the impression that hes committed a couple of sex crimes lately.
Is a Poor Man's...
Eastern European Bruce Willis

Thank to The Warden.

Oh, wait. I mean: Warden. Like when MC Hammer dropped the MC and became instead "The Guy Who Used To Be MC Hammer."

More "That Guys" And "That Chicks:" Sadly, not many pictures here, so you'll just have to see if you remember who the hell they're talking about.

Jane Adams should have gotten more work. They could have teamed her with Judy Greer in the ultimate cute-but-unhinged-neurotic chick flick. I would have seen it like eight million times, so right there, you're talking eighty million dollars in box office.

Thanks to PattyAnn, who got it from a comment at Garfield-Ridge.

Posted by: Ace at 02:06 PM | Comments (53)
Post contains 226 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Lane Smith is great whenever you want a corrupt Southern judge/police captain/congressman/janitor.

Posted by: Mike at May 30, 2007 02:18 PM (NnpEK)

2 I'm so pleased that this list was on only 2 pages instead of making me click through 20. Kudos to Cracked.

Posted by: BlameCandida at May 30, 2007 02:30 PM (PCWxO)

3 How could the guy who was in Kill Bill Vol 2, Species, and Resivoir Dogs not be on this list???!

I swear he was in just about every movie made since 1993.

Posted by: Jay at May 30, 2007 02:34 PM (dsEXO)

4 This is creepy. I just came from Garfield Ridge and copied this link from one of his commenters Hey It's That Guy

Posted by: PattyAnn at May 30, 2007 02:43 PM (3YtMS)

5 They shouldn't have left out Mickey Jones.

http://www.mickeyjones.com/

As for the rest of the list, I have to give special congratulations to the late J. T. Walsh for his work in Needful Things.

Posted by: Guy T. at May 30, 2007 02:50 PM (oWouf)

Ahhh - Dave's. I knew I saw this somewhre last night. That's where it was. Pretty cool link, PattyAnn.

Posted by: Frankly at May 30, 2007 02:51 PM (Q8tsb)

7 Oh, please tell me that in the pix, Stomare is in costume.

Posted by: ro-ro at May 30, 2007 02:53 PM (8xCvb)

8 wow, Cracked is funny and curses a lot. This is like the Onion, only isn't it supposedly marketed towards, you know, kids?

Posted by: joeindc44 at May 30, 2007 02:53 PM (za2Xz)

Lane Smith is great whenever you want a corrupt Southern judge/police captain/congressman/janitor.

Keerektion! Was great. Lane died a couple of years back unfortunately.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at May 30, 2007 03:01 PM (PMGbu)

10 I use to see this guy around town in the late 80s. I was in a book store and I told the owner, "There's that guy! I just saw him on tv." So, the owner calls him over and tells him what I said and he asks me, "What movie?" Hell if I knew. It wasn't like I sought him out. He always played the nerd in these movies. He looked like a nerd in real life, too. Eddie Deezen

Posted by: ro-ro at May 30, 2007 03:21 PM (8xCvb)

11 Didn't Lane Smith die a few years ago?

Jay, are you thinking of Michael Madsen? Maybe he could take Morse's or Cromwell's place since they both seem a little on the too-famous side to me.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at May 30, 2007 03:27 PM (gjy1/)

12 Hey, J. T. Walsh is dead too, isn't he? Whassupwidat?

Posted by: VRWC Agent at May 30, 2007 03:29 PM (gjy1/)

13 JT Walsh died a while ago.

Posted by: ro-ro at May 30, 2007 03:30 PM (8xCvb)

14 Speaking of actors, the Sadly, No! standards bearer and beloved official mascot has died.

Posted by: wiserbud at May 30, 2007 03:32 PM (hp0Gj)

15 No Ron Perlman or Tony Todd?

At least they put Kieth David up there. The man has the coolest voice.

Posted by: CT at May 30, 2007 03:46 PM (2riCp)

Thank to The Warden.

Oh, wait. I mean: Warden.

After some macacas around here started accusing me of selling out to The Man, I wanted to break things down and get back to my roots.

The Warden = dance music. jay leno appearances.

Warden = street. hardcore, yo. bitches, bling, and bills.

Posted by: Warden at May 30, 2007 03:47 PM (cxMJt)

17 Was he that guy that was in the movie with that girl on the boat where they attacked that guy with the moustache from that movie with the man who died last year?

Posted by: Kevin at May 30, 2007 03:57 PM (/ndDU)

18 Jay, are you thinking of Michael Madsen?

Yeah, that's the guy!

Posted by: Jay at May 30, 2007 04:00 PM (Y7tfq)

19 Hey, another gitmo detainee bites the dust!

Posted by: ro-ro at May 30, 2007 04:02 PM (8xCvb)

20 Define "pretty famous" for me. Cromwell is the only one I recognized by name.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at May 30, 2007 04:15 PM (/rgAZ)

21 Christ, they didn't name Keith David's two best roles (They Live and The Thing).

"Cromwell is the only one I recognized by name."

How do you not know David or Stormare?!

Posted by: Shawn at May 30, 2007 04:16 PM (g8G8Y)

What about that black guy?

He played one of the ghosts (Christmas future?) in one of the newer versions of A Christmas Carol (Scrooge).

Posted by: Bart at May 30, 2007 04:22 PM (Hx84T)

CROMWELL was a nobody until that stupid pig movie BABE came out.

All of a sudden he was famous.

Posted by: bartwing plover at May 30, 2007 04:31 PM (Hx84T)

24 Cromwell at number one? Really? Hasn't he been nominated for a couple academy awards?

Posted by: Scout at May 30, 2007 04:37 PM (eD51V)

25 The Cromwell was great in LA Confidential...he also was in one of the Star Trek flicks.

Posted by: WindRider95 at May 30, 2007 04:41 PM (zycvH)

How do you not know David or Stormare?!

I didn't say I didn't recognize their faces, I just didn't know them by name. I don't watch many movies and I hate most fictional TV programs. Cromwell was the only guy who I knew by both name and face.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at May 30, 2007 04:44 PM (/rgAZ)

27 Anyone remember THAT GUY that is in all those RONNIE HOWARD movies? He looks like his RETARDED BROTHER.

Posted by: cuffwing plover at May 30, 2007 04:51 PM (uOvAE)

28 Clint Howard, CHUKKA!!!

So why no mention of Kieth David's finest moment...

Starring with Rowdy Roddy in They Live...

JT Walsh still is able to kick Chuck Norris' ass just by looking at him.

Why no Robert Davi???

Posted by: E Buzz Miller at May 30, 2007 04:57 PM (2WK36)

29 You really were talking about Madsen? I think you were joking... everybody knows him - he's way too famous for this list.
Heck, I bet more people get Bill Paxton & Bill Pullman mixed up - or think of them as "that guy."

Posted by: Frankly at May 30, 2007 05:05 PM (Q8tsb)

30 Any list without Henry Czerny is incomplete. If you want smug, smarmy, officious douchebag gov't employee, Czerny is your go to. See Patriot Games for an example.

Posted by: jeremy at May 30, 2007 05:10 PM (l7vJA)

31 Anyone remember THAT GUY that is in all those RONNIE HOWARD movies? He looks like his RETARDED BROTHER.

You mean, Clint Howard, his...you know, BROTHER?

Got it half right at least.

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 30, 2007 05:13 PM (YWoDC)

32 Clint Howard, CHUKKA!!!

Best role? The Frat Boy in "Night Shift".

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 30, 2007 05:14 PM (YWoDC)

33 Richard Schiff should be on that list. He's another one that I doubt I'd know the name right away by looking at his pic, but if you mentioned his name, I'd know his face.

Posted by: Frankly at May 30, 2007 05:15 PM (Q8tsb)

34 *sigh*, joke 'splainin is the most painful way to confirm the joke sucked. Thanks! (I knew he was his retarded brother)

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at May 30, 2007 05:19 PM (uOvAE)

35 What about the guy who played Quato?

And how about Darryl Revok?

WTF WTF WTF???

Posted by: E Buzz Miller at May 30, 2007 05:23 PM (2WK36)

Danny Trejo is great because he looks like a sex offender.

Posted by: Mike at May 30, 2007 05:23 PM (NnpEK)

37 cuffwing, that is his brother.

Posted by: PattyAnn at May 30, 2007 05:35 PM (3YtMS)

38 Does Dylan Baker still get normal parts after Happiness?

The best thing about this list is that it seems to view the cars Voltron as the canonical one.

Posted by: someone at May 30, 2007 05:44 PM (LS1TS)

39 Cuffy, Clint Howard is Ron Howard's retarded brother!

Posted by: Jeb Stuart at May 30, 2007 06:09 PM (9PQjz)

Okay, that black guy I was asking about is Dorian Harewood.

He is totally a "that guy." In this case, he is a "that black guy."

Posted by: Bart at May 30, 2007 06:36 PM (wejaV)

41 If you want smug, smarmy, officious douchebag gov't employee, Czerny is your go to.
Oh gawd, THAT guy.
Yeah, he's got smug, smarmy, and officious locked up.

Posted by: X_LA_Native at May 30, 2007 06:36 PM (IaU2c)

42 He is totally a "that guy." In this case, he is a "that black guy."

Outstanding! Just the guy I was picturing for "that black guy," too. Cromwell and Morse both need to get bumped (on TV alone they have each had at least one series in which they were the leads and Morse was in St. Elsewhere, fer cryin' out loud) in favor of Harewood and Madsen. (Madsen may be in all kinds of B-movies, B-movie homages and direct-to-video clunkers, but he's never a major film lead and the only people who know his name are the ones who made a point of finding out.)

Posted by: VRWC Agent at May 30, 2007 07:13 PM (Z3AmO)

Cromwell is, indeed, king of the That Guys.

His problem is that he became famous when he was already "too old": and by "famous", I'm ashamed to say that I first noticed him in Star Trek 8, with LA Confidential reinforcing his position. Any other movies I'd have to Google for. (Apparently he was in Eraser, Larry Flynt, Deep Impact, and even Revenge of the Nerds II, all of which I've seen - please shoot me - but thankfully for HIM, either no-one else has seen the movies or else they don't remember him.) He was great in The Queen, too, but of course he wasn't taking the near-primary billing he took in ST8 and LA Conf.

He is one of the world's better actors, but falls short of getting a Nicholson-esque headline because no-one remembers anything he did before the mid-to-late 1990s. A Nicholson movie will bring in all the oldsters who remembered him in The Shining, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest... hell, Easy Rider. A Cromwell movie will bring in, what, Star Trek 8 fans?

Life sometimes is not fair.

I do hope that Cromwell takes some consolation in being paid a lot of money and in being able to relax in a hot tub with two ladies far too young for him. (He'll have to pretend that he was never in a Star Trek movie though.)

Posted by: D. Ross at May 30, 2007 07:29 PM (lAPRr)

44 I do hope that Cromwell takes some consolation in being paid a lot of
money and in being able to relax in a hot tub with two ladies far too
young for him.

Actually, from what I have heard about Cromwell, he is a real God-fearing, straight-arrow, family kind of guy, albeit a little on the "animal-rights" left-leaning side. Maybe that's why he never got beyond the level of solid "go-to" guy in Hollywood.

Good for him.

Posted by: wiserbud at May 30, 2007 07:39 PM (hp0Gj)

45 "I'm ashamed to say that I first noticed him in Star Trek 8"

You didn't see Babe!?

Posted by: someone at May 30, 2007 07:52 PM (LS1TS)

46 Actually, from what I have heard about Cromwell, he is a real
God-fearing, straight-arrow, family kind of guy, albeit a little on the
"animal-rights" left-leaning side.

No, actually, he is a raving moonbat.

Posted by: ro-ro at May 30, 2007 08:18 PM (8xCvb)

47 What, no Al Leong, aka that asin guy with the long hair from every '80s action adventure movie. You know, the one who stole the Snickers bar before shooting the LAPD SWAT team in Die Hard?

Posted by: Cybrludite at May 30, 2007 08:51 PM (XFoEH)

Yes, Morse is a well-known actor, way more than just a "that guy." And Cromwell is a star. But Madsen made his mark in Species and Reservoir Dogs.

By the way, Dorian Harewood has a great speaking voice, very memorable. And he was a magical negro, too!

Posted by: Bart at May 30, 2007 08:51 PM (wejaV)

Good call on Al Leong, Cybrudlite.

One more thing about Dorian Harewood. He was in "An American Christmas Carol" with Henry Winkler in 1979. I believe it was the Fonz's first serious role. I remember watching it as a kid.

There were a lot of "that guys" on Hawaii Five-0, too. The best "that guys" can be found in the series, The Twilight Zone but most of you young punks are too young to remember.

Ed Wynn

Keenan Wynn (Ed's son)

Albert Salmi

Charles Lane

Charles is still alive. He turned 102 last January. It's true!

Posted by: Bart at May 30, 2007 09:22 PM (9NsUY)

50 Bart,

    Now you're talking!

    These "all time" lists are bullshit written by people who don't remember VHS tapes, much less 8MM, black-and-white when it wasn't an artsy statement, or silent films.

   I was gonna put up Charles Lane, too! Frank Morgan, despite being the Wizard of Oz, was one of those guys. Or John Agar--westerns and horrors had their own "that guy" stables usually.

Posted by: moviegique at May 30, 2007 10:52 PM (1y5Vr)

But Madsen made his mark in Species and Reservoir Dogs.

Is there anyone who, when the song "Stuck in the Middle with You" by Stealers Wheel somes on the radio, doesn't think about Madsen doing the little dance while he tortures the cop?

Posted by: Steve L. at May 31, 2007 03:22 AM (hpZf2)

52 By the way, Dorian Harewood has a great speaking voice, very memorable. And he was a magical negro, too!

All negros are magical. It's part of their diversity.

I don't remember Reservoir Dogs ever hitting impressive BO. Boxofficemojo.com records it as a $147,839 opening week (61 theaters max) and $2,832,029 domestic total gross. Awesome flick but I'll stand by what I said: anyone who knows Madsen's name had to make a point of finding it out.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at May 31, 2007 05:01 AM (Z3AmO)

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