1 Great, my vegan wife and stepson will throw this up in my face as another reason to give up meat.

2 What's 33 times 0?

3 That = Than

4 What now, bitches?

5 Why it's almost as if scientists keep realizing they have no idea how the climate should be modeled.

6 My solution: Slaughter all the cows and distribute the meat with brand-new freezers, one per household. Stimulate the economy, remove the methane creators, and ensure a massive supply of hamburgers all in one fell swoop. Or swell foop.

7 I'm doing my part, I'm eating the cows.

8

As if there's not enough bullshit in this global warming scam...

9

If all the cows could be trained to fart in the same direction, the Earth could be moved into a new orbit that is farther from the sun, thereby neutralizing the effect of global warming.

I read this somewhere on the internet.

10 Yet somehow the planet continues to warm much less than the models predict.

Bad Earth atmosphere! Stop disturbing the alarmist f*ckheads with reality.

11 I was told there'd be no organic chemistry on this exam.

.

12 You know, there was a time when "science" involved something called the "scientific method" and required "evidence" and sometimes (gasp) even "proof".

I'm so glad we are in the era of true science when the model is the truth, regardless of that pesky real world.

13 The Socialists will try anything to bring down the last remaining superpower, and the global warming issue is the biggest arrow in their quiver.

14

Methane?

What's that?

Wait...don't we have laws against that stuff?  I know this because I watched "Breaking Bad" on TV last week.

15 Obama plans to tax your farts

16 I think I'm going to go "fill up" the diesel Jetta with some tasty low sulfur diesel and kill the planet...just because...I can.

17

If all the cows could be trained to fart in the same direction, the Earth could be moved into a new orbit that is farther from the sun, thereby neutralizing the effect of global warming. Posted by: Cicero

I smell research grant!!

(oh, wait. that's just me)

18 AmishDude, ...and peer review, and reproducible results, ...and on and on.

19 And you morons thought the dinosaur extinction was due to some comet when it dinosaur farts.

20 Speaking of which:  Gore Gone Wild! - Predicts 220 Foot Sea Level Rise in 10 Years

21 was

22

Wait.  Are we supposed to eat cows or not?

23 And think of all the scientific resources being wasted on this crap that be used for something useful. . . .  It's as though the west has become decadent enough to worry about crap that isn't worth the effort.

24

I smell bullshit.

 

25 19 And you morons thought the dinosaur extinction was due to some comet when it dinosaur farts.

Posted by: kansas at October 30, 2009 02:53 PM (mka2b)

I have visual proof that is was meteors.

26 Speaking of which:  Gore Gone Wild! - Predicts 220 Foot Sea Level Rise in 10 Years


If you're gonna exaggerate why fuck around?

27 Look, we can just raise the cows standing in water up to their snouts.  That way we can catch their farts in jars.  Problem solved.

28 "...Sulphate molecules...  ... have a cooling effect on the climate as they reflect heat..."

So begins the switch back to "Global Cooling" they'll have to make to keep the grant money flowing when even the most retarded of the population realizes that it's snowing earlier and earlier and July and August aren't as hot as usual.

It's either that, or go out and find a real job as the Fry Guy at BK which is 'bout all they're qualified for.

29 Somebody with an active account should post this over at Little Green Amazon Jeans.

30

If all the cows could be trained to fart in the same direction, the Earth could be moved into a new orbit that is farther from the sun, thereby neutralizing the effect of global warming. Posted by: Cicero

I smell research grant!!

(oh, wait. that's just me)

They already tried it once with robots. I know, because I <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futurama">saw it on the teevee box</a>. It is, at best, a temporary fix.

31 27, stop.  I'm dying.

32 Are we supposed to eat cows or not?

Just to be safe, go with the McNuggets.

33 Eat More Chikin

34 Great, my vegan wife and stepson will throw this up in my face as another reason to give up meat.

As someone who eats a vegan diet for a month and a half every Spring (Great Lent), I can tell you that vegetable consumption does NOT reduce methane emissions.

35

I give up!  Stick a fork in me!  Before Jan. 2009, I was pretty much assured a somewhat comfortable retirement, old age and then death.

The way things are shaping up in the wonderful age of 'hope and change', I can now look forward to years of misery before retirement due to global warming, years of miserable retirement (if I ever have one) because of taxes to pay for all of the wonderful and powerful O's socialist programs, and "end of life counseling" as soon as my retirement begins because I shouldn't be a drain on society due to my consumption of medical resources best used by someone who is still productive.

I wish they would have told me before and I just would have taken advantage of the reproductive programs under O-care and aborted myself.

36 Remember in college when guys would light farts?

37 Macro....ENGAGE: CLIMATE CHANGE IS CAUSED BY GLOBAL MORON-ING.

That.  Is.  All.

38
I will study real hard in school and stay out of trouble so when I grow up I can stand behind a cow and analyze what comes out of its ass.

39 Thank Gaia we slaughtered all those bison.

40 23 And think of all the scientific resources being wasted on this crap that be used for something useful. . . .  It's as though the west has become decadent enough to worry about crap that isn't worth the effort.

Environmentalism is a worry of the leisure classes.  It's most amusing because environmental policies are devastating on the poor.  The poor have inefficient A/Cs, clunker cars, etc. because that's all they can afford.  Poor countries pump out carbon because they can't afford cleanup technology or nuclear plants.

It's a bunch of yuppies who have no tether to the real world and they want to screw the poor they claim to like.  And today's poor are too stupid to realize how much it hurts them.

41 Look, we can just raise the cows standing in water up to their snouts.  That way we can catch their farts in jars.  Problem solved.

Posted by: WalrusRex at October 30, 2009 02:55 PM (xxgag)

Then what do we do with millions of jars of cow farts, Einstein?  Think it through, man!

42 Just to be safe, go with the McNuggets.

Which part of the chicken is the nugget?  It would be edifying to know.

43 Would these be the same climate models that are unable to "predict" past climate changes when input with actual, historical data?

44 Hell I look across the road everyday and there's a herd of black angus that fart everyday, yet I still have to mow my green grass once a week, what's the problem? or am I missing something?

45 Hussein the Plumber

My Dad told me he wanted to be cremated because he was sure the government would figure out a way to bring him back to life for more taxes if we didn't. Don't know what this lifelong Roosevelt Democrat would have thought of O Douchebag.

46
And you morons thought the dinosaur extinction was due to some comet when it dinosaur farts.
Posted by: kansas

Now, all they are is dust in the wind.

Right?

47 Great! Next we'll be hearing from smart power that our problems can be solved if the meat eaters will just follow this modest proposal.

All the better for conservative meat eaters

48 He who articulated it, particulated it.

49 The funny thing about this is, that some egghead had his head up a cow's ass to measure methane. Yeah, that is why I went to college too....

50 Next we will hear that fields planted with a single crop are much less efficient at processing carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere than undisturbed land.  The obvious solution:  all farming must cease, and all land must go fallow.

51

Which part of the chicken is the nugget?  It would be edifying to know.

Eyes, beaks and feet.

52 Would these be the same climate models that are unable to "predict" past climate changes when input with actual, historical data? Yes, precisely, which is why you should let us make massive changes to every aspect of your life. What?

53 Show of hands:  Who is under the impression that we'll still be allowed to eat red meat under Obamacare?

54

Which part of the chicken is the nugget?  It would be edifying to know.

Eyes, beaks and feet.

Thanks.  I wanted to make sure no dick insertion parts were involved.

55 ...When this indirect effect of the potent greenhouse gas is included one tonne of methane has about 33 times as much effect on the climate over 100 years as a tonne of carbon dioxide, rather than 25 times as in standard estimates...

Still completely insignificant compared to the amount of water vapor in the atmosphere.  Oh and water vapor has a much higher specific heat than CO_2.

Keep the idiots away from the calculators_.

56 Show of hands:  Who is under the impression that we'll still be allowed to eat red meat under Obamacare?

Eliminating red meat is an act of war.

57 What happens when they figure out water vapor is the most significant greenhouse gas?  Turn the whole planet into a desert to prevent gorebal warming?

It's official: they have replaced the fluoride in the water with LSD. 

58 Show of hands:  Who is under the impression that we'll still be allowed to eat red meat under Obamacare?

If Obamacare passes, wait until libs are paying taxes for everyone's healthcare.  Talk about health nazis, the decibel level will go through the roof.

59 Which part of the chicken is the nugget? It would be edifying to know. Eyes, beaks and feet. Thanks. I wanted to make sure no dick insertion parts were involved. Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...

60

I smell research grant!!

(oh, wait. that's just me)

Posted by: Iskandar at October 30, 2009 02:52 PM (u1pln)

No, that just means you're down wind.

61 You think a cow fart is bad, you should see mine.

62

No, that just means you're down wind.

 

I loled

63 I welcome all your suggestions to end this terrible problem.

64 Does that mean that I cleaned my weapons for nothing for my upcoming cow hunt? Drat!

65
OK
I really, really REALLY want to be the Flatulence Czar.

66

27 Look, we can just raise the cows standing in water up to their snouts.  That way we can catch their farts in jars.  Problem solved.

We call those water buffalo, and that's where we get mozzarella (the real kind, not the rubber on an American pizza).

I say we do away with cattle ranching, kill all the lions and hyenas and wolves, and eat the wildebeest and bison ourselves.

67 @25 & 19 - I'm still going with 40 days and 40 nights of rain.

68 Of course, we could just use the cow methane as a new form of transportation.

69 Just be thankful you can't smell underwater like we can!

70 As a person that has been around cattle all of his life, I can state, unequivocally, that cattle do not fart. If they did. they would be bloated. The cows' digestive system is such as it makes farting is impossible. This is just another way to get the cattle off the range and make people stop eating beef.

71

Lord I bet it is one proud little kid who's father comes to school on career day and explains how he measures cow farts for a living.

72 I'm seriously down.

73 Wait.  Are we supposed to eat cows or not?

Yes.  And pigs.  Bacon especially.

Which part of the chicken is the nugget?  It would be edifying to know.

Eyes, beaks and feet.

You can list the asshole also.

74 All that water we drink?  Fish piss in it.  There's no extra charge for the fish piss your milk.

75 This admin are nothing but children that never grew up to become adults they're history, so calm down folks.

76

And yet, hippies get a pass even though one tonne of their stench has about 952 times as much effect on the climate over 100 years as a tonne of methane!

77 I'm seriously down.

Posted by: The Dow at October 30, 2009 03:16 PM (5aa4z)

That's a lie.  Obama saved the economy yesterday.

78 As a person that has been around cattle all of his life, I can state, unequivocally, that cattle do not fart. If they did. they would be bloated. The cows' digestive system is such as it makes farting is impossible. This is just another way to get the cattle off the range and make people stop eating beef.

Posted by: Stan25 at October 30, 2009 03:16 PM (N1Gru)

The same can not be said for horses.  Man, they stink when they let one rip. 

79

I since my diposition is now totally effing trashed for the next decade, I would like to say this:

These bastards on the left have got to be the most miserable bunch of weasel cry babies who have ever had the distinct displeasure of being born.  I bet they made their mothers miserable.  Hell, now wonder women want to have abortions.  They're afraid of giving birth to another miserable effing liberal, for craps sake.  And no wonder the liberals are always accusing conservatives of wanting to murder them.  It isn't that we want to murder them, it's that we want to put them out of their misery!

Hey libs!  You miserable effing bastards!  You are going to die!   Get used to it.  Try thinking happy thoughts for a effing change instead of your constant mourning over all of the miserable ways you might die.  It will do several things for you not least of which will be to realize that life, yes even your miserable life, is sometimes filled with joy and happiness and wonder and fun - not just effing misery.

Now go find someone else to whine to.

80 It's a good thing that we never fart.

81 There's a Gary Larson joke in here somewhere.

82 And don't even get me started on those fuckers who think we are going to run out of water some day.  It is clear that the environmentalists have never heard of the "conservation of mass" or the "conservation of energy".

83

As a person that has been around cattle all of his life, I can state, unequivocally, that cattle do not fart.

I fart all day long.  If your typical day consisted of standing around waiting for someone to kill you, let's see how you'd fill the time, cowboy.

84 61 You think a cow fart is bad, you should see mine.

If you can see it, maybe you need to see a doctor.

85 Gotta love mother nature at how she takes farts to make the planet green, and libs stupid!

86 It is clear that the environmentalists have never heard of the "conservation of mass" or the "conservation of energy".

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at October 30, 2009 03:20 PM (IqfKc)

Or the "conservation of money", or the "conservation of political capital".

87 I don 't know is it me?  If this were true wouldn't the 40 to 50 million buffalo that roamed the plains  have farted us into  ass gas oblivion?  http://tinyurl.com/y9z5x9q

88

Hippies don't eat steaks, so like get rid of those things.

Wonder why we don't have any chicken figures, fingers, whatever, I guess chickens don't fart or shit.

In other news fish shit floats to the surface and causes seagulls to shit.

When will it end, please God make these animals stop farting.

Oh, did anyone mention that CO2 helps grow shit, on never mind, it doesn't work into the socialist agenda, so lets keep that quiet, OK?

 

 

89 84 61 You think a cow fart is bad, you should see mine.

If you can see it, maybe you need to see a doctor.


It's called a shart.

90 82 - Of course not!  Those are laws that they didn't pass, would have never passed if they would have had the chance and wouldn't have ready any effing way!

91 Why do liberals hate us so much??  WHY???

92 I'm seriously down.

Posted by: The Dow at October 30, 2009 03:16 PM (5aa4z)

That's a lie.  Obama saved the economy yesterday.

Exactly. I saw a Prosperity Montage. Everyone knows the MSM wouldn't lie.

93 Unicorn farts fight global warming.

94

87 I don 't know is it me?  If this were true wouldn't the 40 to 50 million buffalo that roamed the plains  have farted us into  ass gas oblivion?

They only existed because Obama, Pelosi and Reid weren't around to first, complain and whine about them for decades and second, outlaw the effing pests out of existence.

95 91,

It's a never ending story, when we had the house they asked the same about wingers, both are fucked up that's why we need another party to get rid of them both!

96 Ever wonder if Al Gore was a tree, he would be preaching against Oxygen emissions to his other plant life?

97

Farts aren't supposed to be lumpy, are they?

98 You morons will be in the camps soon.  We need people to keep their fingers in the cows asses.  Practice with your thumbs before you arrive.

99 As the Japanese said on South Park two days ago, "Fuck you cow! Fuck you chicken!"

100 Purple Avenger in answer to your question about the use of low and ultra low sulfur diesel it is widely used all over Europe and even China now has limits. You should leave your pc for awhile and do some real world travel

101 Keep f%$#ing that chicken.  Keeps them from farting.

102 When the adults are in charge again we will make the dorkbats fist cows for their past times instead of putting them in insane asylums!

103 "36 Remember in college when guys would light farts?"

Actually that will be the new gubmint job under Obama, Fart Extinguisher, since lighting farts is the only way to destroy the Gaia-polluting methane.

And you think cows are bad? You have never been to hubby's man cave after The Boys have scarfed up beer and chili for two quarters of the game.

104 OT: Ringleader in the Tennessee double torture slaying informed he has a date with a collection of needles and chemicals, and won a date with Drew Barrymore.  Which is worse?  Ok, mostly just needles and chemicals.

http://tinyurl.com/yha799f

105 OT: Ringleader in the Tennessee double torture slaying informed he has a date with a collection of needles and chemicals, and won a date with Drew Barrymore. Which is worse? Ok, mostly just needles and chemicals. http://tinyurl.com/yha799f And a potentially infinite number of stays. Still, maybe someday he'll get his date with the barbed cock of satan.

106 I'm under the impression that Shep Smith would lavish a male member for a dollar, I'm not wrong am I?

107 widely used all over Europe and even China now has limits

So world wide brain damage and bad science is good thing, right?

108
I wonder how long it will be before we start seeing fart free beef in those trendy markets liberals love?

109 An excellent report - for me to poop on!

110 This is the funniest thread of the day. 

111 A timely Triumph joke, bravo!

112 When is the next Global Farting Conference?

113 I think we should say moo, moo, moo instead of mmm, mmm, mmmm!

114 34 Great, my vegan wife and stepson will throw this up in my face as another reason to give up meat.

You might want to remind your vegan relatives that cows don't eat meat, either, so as Herr Morgenholtz pointed out, those vegans are also contributing to these  foul 'emissions'

115 Somebody with an active account should post this over at Little Green Amazon Jeans.

Posted by: Dirk Diggler at October 30, 2009 02:56 PM (rzEI3)

 

Dirk! I remember you form LGF. glad to see you over here as well.

116 If some thing is done in the next few years the EARTH WILL BURST INTO FLAMES. FLAMES , FLAMES I TELL YA.

117

Hey!  Guys - Guys.  Not to worry!

This really is just a dream.  I have proof - http://tinyurl.com/yzcyyu5

 

118 Hey Dirk, welcome to the best blog in the world bud,

119 If some thing is done in the next few years the EARTH WILL BURST INTO FLAMES. FLAMES , FLAMES I TELL YA. Yes! We only have 23 minutes and 17 seconds!

120 Moonbat stupidity is more abundant and more harmful to the Earth than all the cow flatulence  in the world. And I suppose the millions of Bison that roamed the plains states prior to their decimation were carbon neutral.

121 Dirk, did you get banned at LGF?

122

Hey Dirk, welcome to the best blog in the world bud,

This can't be the best blog in the world. There has been no discussion about creased pants.

123

If some thing is done in the next few years the EARTH WILL BURST INTO FLAMES. FLAMES , FLAMES I TELL YA.

Hopefully so we can charbroil the cows. Umm, charbroiled hamburgers.

124 The vegetarian creeps should be pouncing on this soon....

125 Kill it and grill it.

126 We spray a juicy fart in Al Gores general direction...

127

Hey Dirk, welcome to the best blog in the world bud,

Can't be the best blog in the world. I and my overstreatched tank top don't blog here.

128 Sort of on the subject since GW is just a tool to achieve a centralized power structure.

Here is a clip of Milton Freidman with the ultimate Beta male, Phil Donahue.
What we need now is this type of clear argument against the emotional appeal brought by the Liberals among us.

Clip

129 Has there been a study on how much methane the average Joe or Jan produces per year on a standard American diet. Just wondering cuz after we kill off all the cows, pigs, ...insert farting animal here... we will then have to eat more beans to make up the missing protein. Will they then start taxing are farts? Looks like it could be more profitable then carbon credits.

130 127,

We're talking about cows now not hogs!

131 Damned ignoble gases .

132
I saw the solution on TV recently. All we have to do is set up a bridge to a different space-time continuum, and then pipe all the excess heat out of the Universe! Problem solved! Well, it works with that stargate thingie, anyway.

133 Personally, I find dog farts much more deadly than cow farts, though a mule pulling a load up hill can pass gass like a one lung pump jack.

134

re: bison

Cow farts are the only bovine farts which are dangerous, on account of humans cull some enjoyment out of cows.  Since bison did not exist to please anyone, their farts were indeed carbon-neutral.

135 132,

Too much coast to coast watching for you grasshopper!

136 Personally, I find dog farts much more deadly than cow farts, Hey, try being around the big guy on beanie-weenie night! Phew-whee!

137 You people are clearly fartists.

138 I suggest the moonbats go on a anti cow rampage in the Hindu portion of India. Maybe they will be taken more serious there.

139 the glowbull wormening idiots will now merge cause with the PETA tards.... ....great.

140
I guess this would make the brown note a weapon of mass destruction then.

141 139 the glowbull wormening idiots will now merge cause with the PETA tards.... ....great.



Makes targeting easier.

142 139,

Can we then throw their blood on cow skins?

143

137 You people are clearly fartists.

What else ya gonna do with a PhD in fecology?

144 This is such a stupid debate.  If greenhouse gasses are the problem, then why don't we just open the door of the greenhouse and let them all out into the atmosphere?

145 143,

What can I say, better than ufology!

146 Bison taste good too

147 who ya gonna call?

148 Yes, but can they light their own farts?

149

Farting cows represent a great job opportunity for the Obama Administration.  Just pay the recipients of taxpayer funded bailouts to hang out in pastures with Bic Lighters and light-off the farts. 

This will keep the miscreants from humping your dog, give them something to do between alcoholic binges, and solve the methane problem.  If they're really astute, they may learn to inhale the burned methane and get high.

150 Place in Houston that sells buffalo meat, soooo good, but expensive so I make my #2 son buy it for me.

151 Dont those wetlands we arent allowed to pave over emit lots of methane too?

152

Who . . . run . . . Bartertown?

153

Jean @ 146

I like Bison, but Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend were good too!

154 Ahhh, nothing tips like a cow...good times, good times.

155

Try that again (frigging bears can't spell anyfriggingway).

Jean @ 146

I like Bison, but Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend were good too!

156 The thing about hunting cows is you have to have a good nose for them!

157 Speaking of grilling...........
http://tiny.cc/dH4ct

158 This will keep the miscreants from humping your dog, give them something to do between alcoholic binges, and solve the methane problem.

If you think I'm lighting cow gas without beer, your crazy.

159 Something to ponder. If cow farts cause global warming, how come the earth didn't freeze when we almost wiped out the buffalo? Or is it just cow farts that do it? Although there are a shit-load of cows in India and that place is kind warm...

160 O/T:  just heard on the news about a collision between a helicopter and a plane from the military on a training mission.  Why are there so many of these collisions?  Isn't there something in the cockpit that can warn the pilot that something is near?

161 My son's history book said that the bison were all killed off by white people shooting them from trains for enjoyment. I don't know which part of this statement is the most annoying. 1. White people, 2. Enjoyment, 3. trains covered every field in the west 4. Bison were carbon neutral, 5. they call this a "history book".

162

Personally, I find dog farts much more deadly than cow farts, though a mule pulling a load up hill can pass gass like a one lung pump jack.

Thats nothing.  I was standing behind Michelle when she was doing the hula-hoop...

163 What about Michael Moore farts?

164 Could this whole problem be solved with a little Gas-X?

165 Are we going to kill all of the termites and ants in the world too?  They are a significant source for methane as well.

166

150 Place in Houston that sells buffalo meat, soooo good, but expensive so I make my #2 son buy it for me.

 

Given the topic, I'm not sure that referring to him as your "#2 son" is such a good idea....

167

I think vegans release enough gas of their own to more than make up for what a cow would have made.

New advertizing slogan: "Beano fights global warming."

 

168 160,

I find that weird too bud, cobra pilots are pretty good as are Coasties, something not right about that story.

169 Anthony Watts. Some exerpts and pdf from the Copenhagen Treaty , scary shit .

170 Truman, great minds think alike. Maybe I should read before I post.

171
Personally, I find dog farts University of Texas freshman girl farts much more deadly than cow farts, though a mule pulling a load up hill can pass gass like a one lung pump jack.

172 Yeah, what about Michelle farts, ass is big as a cow's ass, probably smells worse, especially after eating that organic Tuscan Kale

173

Isn't there something in the cockpit that can warn the pilot that something is near?

Okay, I'm gonna get killed for the callousness, but I can't resist.

WINDOWS

174 Just got done reading about cow methane production. Most of it comes from the front end not the back. It seems E.Coli is the real culprit as the little bugs create the methane in the cows stomachs during the breakdown of feed. So again cows are getting a bad rap.

175 The faster this Global Climate Change (I throw up a little every time I say that hold on minute...)   ...BS stops the faster we can get back to realizing there are real threats out there.

F*cking Global Clima...  uhh    Eco Nazis!

176 O/T: just heard on the news about a collision between a helicopter and a plane from the military on a training mission. Why are there so many of these collisions? Isn't there something in the cockpit that can warn the pilot that something is near? Flying at night didn't help, and there may have been some miscommunication between the air traffic controllers. Do military aircraft have black boxes?

177

161 My son's history book said that the bison were all killed off by white people shooting them from trains for enjoyment.

That's history like Neil Young's song about how the peaceable Aztec Indians were wiped out by Cortes the killer. The Aztecs were continually at war with each other and their neighbors. Cortes only defeated them because of Montezuma's Zero-like inability to act, and the fact that about 100,000 of the Indians who were enemies of the Aztecs joined his tiny army to confront the Aztecs. 

178 Healthcare passing is a joke as well as cap and trade is a joke of the little children's minds with their skittles leader child!

179 Phew, just released some global warming here in my cube at work. Just thought I would share.

180 Anybody remember when Kramer was driving the horse carriage?

181 Hm.  I heard that all the native population died from venereal diseases the white man brought over and transmitted by repeatedly gang-raping them.

182

160 - Curious

Yes, it's called TCAS, but in all probability not installed on the C-130 nor the Cobra. 

183 collision between a helicopter and a plane from the military on a training mission.  Why are there so many of these collisions?

We train hard, and people occasionally fuck up.  Its the cost of doing business in a military organization.  If you don't train hard, you'll bleed more in battle.

184 On a lighter note, ACORN to go without federal funds for another 50 days

185

O/T: just heard on the news about a collision between a helicopter and a plane from the military on a training mission. Why are there so many of these collisions? Isn't there something in the cockpit that can warn the pilot that something is near?

 Collision occured right after the C130 was handed off to military air traffic controllers. God bless the crews of both vehicles. I can see San Clemente Island from where I live, at night, pitch black

186 My son's history book said that the bison were all killed off by white people shooting them from trains for enjoyment.

Probably the same book relating the German bombing of Pearl Harbor and how that got us involved in the Punic Wars, right?

187 Great, my vegan wife and stepson will throw this up in my face as another reason to give up meat.

Posted by: joncelli at October 30, 2009 02:44 PM (RD7QR)

 

EAT THEM

188

 

"I have visual proof that is was meteors."

Yeah, but it would not have been a wipe out if all the methane in those dinosaur farts hadn't caught fire and burned up the planet.

189

On a lighter note, ACORN to go without federal funds for another 50 days

Dammit!!!  How the hell is Corzine supposed to win?

190 182,

Actually the military have better checks than their civilian counterparts.

191 How the hell is Corzine supposed to win?

Just keep recounting the ballots until you get the answer you want.

192

Dammit!!!  How the hell is Corzine supposed to win?

Don't worry yuhself, honey. We be countin' for at leas nine-y days.

193 186,

Prolly in that book the history of how the internet caused WWI too.

194

Wow, great post, Purple!  And morons, you are all outdoing yourselves with teh funny!  (This thread is the equivalent of yesterday's Sharpie Bandits).  Thank you!  I'm lol'ing!

195

Just to be safe, go with the McNuggets.

Which part of the chicken is the nugget?  It would be edifying to know.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why, the beaks and feet of course.

 

196

Farts aren't supposed to be lumpy, are they?

Heh!  No.  But every now and then my husband has one that he even calls "hairy". 

197 Does methane qualify as a WMD?

198 161 My son's history book said that the bison were all killed off by white people shooting them from trains for enjoyment. I don't know which part of this statement is the most annoying. 1. White people, 2. Enjoyment, 3. trains covered every field in the west 4. Bison were carbon neutral, 5. they call this a "history book".

Posted by: dagny at October 30, 2009

This is the kinda shit that really pisses me off. Everything is blamed on the eeeevil white man. We were taught that Indians managed the animal populations and only killed what was necessary. In fact, it is estimated that 95% of all megafauna..(critters over 100lbs) disappeared with the starting with the appearance of the Clovis PaleoIndian  peoples...those who came across the Bering Strait. It is not demonstrated that all were hunted to extinction, but eveidence shows that many were, including mammoths, mastodons, several species of horses, tapirs, camels, gound sloths, peccaries...and my favorite...giant beavers.

Just think of all the farts coming from these critters

199

161 My son's history book said that the bison were all killed off by white people shooting them from trains for enjoyment. I don't know which part of this statement is the most annoying. 1. White people, 2. Enjoyment, 3. trains covered every field in the west 4. Bison were carbon neutral, 5. they call this a "history book".

The pre-Columbian preferred method of hunting bison was to drive herds of them off cliffs.  As the pre-Columbian Indians didn't have refrigeration, they worked as fast as possible to strip out the meat and dry it before the carcasses rotted.  The labor-intensive nature of the process meant that in many hunts, most of the dead animals rotted before the meat could be harvested.

200

Well, the reason for low-sulfur diesel fuel is to combat acid rain, since sulfur oxides mix with clouds to produce sulfuric acid which then rains down on you.  That regulation has nothing to do with global warming.  Although it is a rich irony to see that one set of environmental rules put in place actually exascerbates (or is claimed to exascerbate) another environmental problem.

201

Which part of the chicken is the nugget? 

What..they're not chicken testicles?

202

Actually the military have better checks than their civilian counterparts

 

True that grunt, I have flown many hours in a C130, sometimes inter-service communication can be difficult, 4 cobras  flying in formation, C130 completing search grids for a missing boater at night, there is a lot going on here that the story does not reveal.  Crew members on the Coast Guard C130, 2 pilots, 1 engineer, 1 radio man 2 crew members below, one on each side looking out the search windows,  and at least one load master a lot eyes, but sometimes mistakes are made.

203 beedubya - because your post portrayed Native Americans in a disrespectful light, you are a racist. Please ban yourself.

204 This is why I always say, "Remember kids, don't jar."

205 202,

It was a fuck up nothing else, God bless those Troops and their Families I already said a prayer for them.

206 stuiec - same for you. Please ban yourself.

207 181 Hm.  I heard that all the native population died from venereal diseases the white man brought over and transmitted by repeatedly gang-raping them.

Posted by: Tenured history professor

Syphillis originated here...we brung the small pox

208 But, so am I , so I hereby ban myself.

209 Montezuma's Zero-like inability to act

C'mon, I wasn't THAT bad!

210 Which part of the chicken is the nugget?

The cheeks, don't you know anything about skinning a chicken?

211 Damn, I got another great idea for a campaign ad.

212

203 beedubya - because your post portrayed Native Americans in a disrespectful light, you are a racist. Please ban yourself.

Anything to make Charles Johnson happy

213

But, so am I , so I hereby ban myself.

We were given a choice. Banning, or Jim Zorn. Damn, did we ever f that chicken there.

214 Remember in college when guys would light farts?
Yeah. I've still got the scars from when the cow exploded.

215 It isn't so much the cow farts that bother me, it's more the way they drive.

216

As the pre-Columbian Indians didn't have refrigeration

Columbus bring his Norge with him?

217
182 Actually the military have better checks than their civilian counterparts.

Don't have any idea what this means. 

The rules in US airspace are the same for military as well as civil flights.  TCAS is a collision avoidance electronic sending devise mounted on the airframe which answers the question previously posed. 

Military air traffic controllers work hand-in-hand with their civil counterparts on a daily basis for arrival and departure sequencing, flight plan verification, non-reporting aircraft, etc. 

10 years military pilot
28 years civil pilot

218

Anything to make Charles Johnson happy

But I am not happy because the ban hammer has not flied on all you racist.

My ban hammer would have nailed all of you haters.

Kilgore, it is time to stop trolling this horrible blog. The racist have won.

 

219
Re-title this article "Silent but Deadly"

That tears it.  No more endangered species lists.  Open season on the timber wolf, polar bear, grizzly bear, spotted out, African elephant, hippos, Rhinoceros, ...... and if that little snail darter minnow farts.... fry him up in cornbread too.

220 A big 'ol honkin' Porterhouse makes me a bit gassy. Does that count as cow farts?

221

Actually the military have better checks than their civilian counterparts

No, Obama has the best checks. He gets them from his stash.

Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama

 

222 The cud chewing bothers me, throws my aim off!

223

 if that little snail darter minnow farts.... fry him up in cornbread too.

ummm, fried snail darter...........ummmmmmm

224 223,

Does that mean more water for us?

225 One smart feller he felt smart.

226

If I could keep cow farts in a bottle...

227 215 It isn't so much the cow farts that bother me, it's more the way they drive.

Posted by: Uniball

THREAD WINNER

228 OT: I think NJ is about to go Conservative!

229 Gosh darnit, I can't tell you how hard it is to shake the Bertha Lewis puppet of my jock

230

Does that mean more water for us?

Yes. To be used to make beer. Ummmmmm.......beer.

231 230,

Agreed!

232

Gosh darnit, I can't tell you how hard it is to shake the Bertha Lewis puppet of my jock

Once you go Bertha, you never go back.

233 Well, the reason for low-sulfur diesel fuel is to combat acid rain, since sulfur oxides mix with clouds to produce sulfuric acid which then rains down on you.  That regulation has nothing to do with global warming.  Although it is a rich irony to see that one set of environmental rules put in place actually exascerbates (or is claimed to exascerbate) another environmental problem.

Wait till the "next" round of "Freon" changes again.  Due to the LAST impendiing environmental disaster scam formerly known as "The hole in the ozone".... we can no longer use good ole reliable R-22 as a refrigerant.  It was replaced by several blends like 401.

Well guess what.... those refrigerants are now being evaluated for their "global warming" properties, and are assigned an index number.  The lower the number the better.  Old R-22 has a GW index of 2.  TWO.

R401 or 411 has a GW index of.............. are you ready....... over 1000.  ONE THOUSAND.

oooops

Dupont gets to develop another refridgerant to replace the new one that is actually more "damaging" than the old "damaging" one.  (Confusing huh??)

Your new environmentallty friendly AC unit is already ready for the environmentally damaging junk heap.... and we havent even finished phasing out R-22 yet.

234

Yes. To be used to make beer. Ummmmmm.......beer.

To be drank while eating fried snail darter

ummmmmmmmmmmm, fried snail darter.

235

Your new environmentallty friendly AC unit is already ready for the environmentally damaging junk heap.... and we havent even finished phasing out R-22 yet.

You make this sound like a bad idea.

236

Dupont gets to develop another refridgerant to replace the new one that is actually more "damaging" than the old "damaging" one.  (Confusing huh??)

Yeah, and the A/C doesn't blow as cold with the replacement stuff.  Nothing freezes you out like Freon!  (Man, I miss it.)

237 So, we should eat more beef?

238

Once you go Bertha, you never go back.

Because the only way anyone would go Bertha is if they were fully dead!  Yuck!

239 yeah, there's just one problem with this whole thread.  There's no such thing as global warming.

240 237,

By the tons, fuck the libs!!!

241 Remember in college when guys would light farts?
I had a buddy we called Popo.  Back in the seventies we were sitting in an Opel Kadett in Baja smoking hash and he started lighting farts and we were laughing until his shorts caught on fire.  Then we were really laughing.

242

If I could keep cow farts in a bottle...

Posted by: zombie jim croce at October 30, 2009 04:38 PM (2qU2d)

Thank God I had already swallowed my lemonade before I read that!

243

By the tons, fuck the libs!!!

Amen and pass the briquets - time to fire up the grill.

And with that, I am out of here. Kids gotta go trick or treating tonight. And yea, I am pimping my own kids out. They know, Dad gets all the snickers.

Afterwords, think I will fire up the grill and throw on some filets I have been saving for a special occassion.

 

 

244 Actually the low sulfur fuel rules were put into effect to combat acid rain - before they finished studying acid rain.  It turned out that the lakes without acid rain were more acidic then those supposedly tainted with acid rain. 

The whole acid rain fiasco closely parallels this global warming scam.  What percentage of water in lakes do you think comes from rain directly vs that which comes from groundwater?  You could probably rain sulfuric acid on most lakes without an appreciable effect.

245

A big 'ol honkin' Porterhouse makes me a bit gassy. Does that count as cow farts?

beedubya, those would be recycled and repurposed cow farts.  They are better for the environment as they have gone throw a second filtering and burning purification process.

246 Yeah, and the A/C doesn't blow as cold with the replacement stuff.  Nothing freezes you out like Freon!  (Man, I miss it.)

And the other kicker.....

The new stuff has to run at about 30% higher manifold pressure than old R-22.  And the start of the condenser is now done under pressure to boost the efficiency rating of the units.

Bottom line..... your AC equipment isnt going to last as long as the old units did.

247 Oh, and speaking of Cow Farts:

White House: 650,000 jobs created or saved New data will show how many jobs the stimulus plan created or saved

248 Kickass! I just had a cheeseburger and i farted! All i need now is a diesel dually.......

249 BEEF --- It's whats for dinner

250

Posted by: Jean at October 30, 2009 04:50 PM (xCBQ4)

Umm...really?  I'm sorry but this is pretty basic acid/base chemistry stuff.  You don't need sophisticated models to understand that if you put acidic oxides into the air and mix them with water, you get acids.

251 Bottom line..... your AC equipment isnt going to last as long as the old units did.

No shit, my trucks already on it's second compressor.

252 This admin is incompetent, can't wait for 2010-12 to throw these asswipes out!

253 PWN'ed, CO2!  CH4...TW!

254 Where's the love?

255 Lasagna is done, I'll think of the good morons while chowing down, y'all be good!

256 Great, my vegan wife and stepson will throw this up in my face as another reason to give up meat. Ah. Well, just throw back at them that water vapor is the #1 "greenhouse gas", and everytime they breath, they're giving off water vapor (in addition to whatever carbon and methane they're emitting), and they should try to limit the amount of breathing they do. That should keep them quite for a while...

257 you get acids, in very small quantities, but you don't get acidic lakes killing fish.  You get rain with a minuscule increase in acidity which is indistinguishable once the groundwater gets to the lakes.  In fact, the acidity change induced by groundwater sources dwarfs that from "acid rain", and the lakes that were acidic - were acidic long before "acid rain".

258 Lasagna is done, I'll think of the good morons while chowing down, y'all be good! You inglorious basterd!

259 So, you start with a hay wagon
attach a methane carbureted Briggs & Stratton
attach cow in front of hay bale
stick a hose you know where
and shazam
Cow powered transportation

260 Jean, could you provide some citations for this?  I remain skeptical but I'm willing to read what you have.

261 chemjeff - http://tinyurl.com/ydbkw3k   Tryig to find a good link, most have expired.

262

Hey Dirk, welcome to the best blog in the world bud,

 Thanks. I like this place but tend to lurk more than post. 

263

80 It's a good thing that we never fart.

Us either.

264 You don't need sophisticated models to understand that if you put acidic oxides into the air and mix them with water, you get acids.

It's the dose that makes the poison.

265

I am a global warming skeptic (and chemical engineer) so don't flame me.  The effects of SOx vary depending on its elevation in the atmosphere.

Low altitude SOx, emitted from smokestacks and vehicles, are harmful to people and the environment because they cause smog and acid rain.  It is necessary to require scrubbers and low-sulfur fuels and I support that.

However, high altitude SOx, released by volcanos (put there due to massive explosive force of the eruptions), reflect sunlight and cool the globe.

266 - is there anywhere else on the planet other than the USA where there are rocket scientist politicians who allow you to pay extra for the privilege of hurting the planet...?

It's not just GW.

Back in September my '01 Maxima 'failed' emissions testing. This failure was reported by the car's on-board emissions sensors/software, which I didn't want but was required to pay for anyway thanks to federal law. God knows what the carbon footprint on those additional hardware elements was.

I asked what they would do if the car were older and they said "the standard (old) 'tailpipe' test". I asked them to do that, to verify that the on-board system wasn't just FUBAR. Get this: State Law forbids a tailpipe test on cars newer than '95.

So after over $1000 dollars worth of replaced O2 sensors and catalytic converters, I went back for re-test.

Test: "Do you have the repair shop's paperwork?"

Me: "What paperwork?"

Tester: "They're supposed to fill out this form when they do the repair. I can't retest without it."

So I drive back out to the repair shop, get the paperwork, put off the retest for another day.

Next trip to the test station, I get a form stamped Test Aborted.

Me: "Why?"

Tester: "The 'old' failure code hasn't been cleared out yet."

Me: "Can't YOU clear the code"?

Tester: "No."

Me: "So what now??"

Tester: "Keep driving the car until the code clears."

Me: "how far is that?"

Tester: "beats me."

Me: "I telecommute - I don't drive this car. It sits in my garage."

Tester: "Sorry. That's all the State will allow me to do."

Me: "So you're telling me I have to drive the car for some indeterminate amount of time, putting unnecessary emissions into the atmosphere, so that you can test it to see if I'm putting unnecessary emissions into the atmosphere???"

Tester: "Not me. The State."

The car finally passed emissions test about 45 minutes ago. In all, the test and resolution required 4 trips to the emissions test station and two trips to the repair shop where the converters were replaced. That will be the bulk of the mileage I've put on the car since March.

This will not end well.

267 Also, the formation of acid rain is extremely localized, so its effects are only felt close to high-quantity emitters (utility smokestacks burning high-sulfur coal).  Thus, Jean is both right and wrong.

268 Lasagna is done, I'll think of the good morons while chowing down, y'all be good!

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at October 30, 2009 05:02 PM (ZoHEm)

You can always count on three things:  1. Death, 2.  Taxes, 3.  Nam Grunt's cooking up something yummy.

269 266 --- Goy -- Your mechanic can clear the codes being held in your car's ECM...take it to him and ask him to clear all codes...he should have done this anyways!

270 ChemE Brethren, you are among friends.

271

It looks like Obama is gonna have to switch to Wasabi Bef and Whole Maine Loobster.

272 billygoat - believe it or not, that was the condensed version. There was an entire episode I left out where I fought with both the repair shop AND the test facility (also a licensed repair shop), telling them that they could and should clear the codes. Both refused and/or claimed they weren't 'allowed' to. I even disconnected the battery myself, hoping the computer would reboot and clear. No dice.

273 Chemjeff, used to have more:

http://tinyurl.com/y8ha6n3

Raw Study --
http://gcmd.nasa.gov/records/GCMD_EPA0141.html

Bottom line was that policy was going to get made, with or without science to back it up. Same situation we are in today - the media drove a perception that was wrong -- and the environmentalists cost the economy billions. 

274 I'm so bloody sick of all this nonsense I want to punch anyone who's ever even worn green.

275 Dogstar, the debate wasn't about brownfields around a few factories or power stations -- it was wide area destruction of forests and lakes.  The benefit of cleaning the brownfields did not justify the enormous systemic cost.   Same problem with AGW. 

276

I am a global warming skeptic (and chemical engineer) so don't flame me. 

Are you sirius? ;^)

And I've read at Steve Milloy's junkscience.com a long time ago that the Nordic (Swedish IIRC) lakes that were dying and cited by the enviros weren't the ones being affected by acid rain.

And read there relatively recently (2 years ago?) that the cure for lakes affected by acid rain was to throw a few bags of lime (IIRC) in burlap bags (to allow for slow leeching) into the lake to counteract the acid.

(And no insult meant to Jeff, who I know is an intelligent chemist, or to Dogstar from a "chemical" ignoramus such as myself.)

277  I'm so bloody sick of all this nonsense I want to punch anyone who's ever even worn green.

Posted by: Entropy at October 30, 2009 05:27 PM (cok/k)

Ahem!

278 272 billygoat - believe it or not, that was the condensed version. There was an entire episode I left out where I fought with both the repair shop AND the test facility (also a licensed repair shop), telling them that they could and should clear the codes. Both refused and/or claimed they weren't 'allowed' to. I even disconnected the battery myself, hoping the computer would reboot and clear. No dice.

Goy -- no dispute with your story, however, here in Ohio I would take that car to an AutoZone (parts store) where they would check and clear my codes for free.  Anyone with a COM device can do this...what state do you live in? 

And as a dovetail to your story, I live in a county that requires E-check testing...my car has 'lived' with a downstate relative for years now!

279 I knew I'd find everyone here on the fart thread.  Anyway, all I have to say about any of the GW bullshit is this:  This isn't about global warming, climate change, rising sea levels, etc., it's about aquiring money and power and abridging our freedom and liberty.  It's as simple as that.  I agree with Rush when he says that the enviromental movement is just another branch of the communist movement.  Cow farts my ass!

280 Al Gore's a smart guy..

281

Banning methane would mean shutting down most of the wells in the US.

Almost all oil wells leak methane and, unless the gas is burned (creating "dreaded CO2), the wells vent their casinghead gas to the atmosphere.

Methane is a far stronger greenhouse gas than CO2, but it breaks down in the atmosphere,

I currently am venting lots and lots of methane from a flowing oil well in Gonzales County, Texas and feel great about it!

282

One more thing - if you make a decent amount of the gas, and have access to a pipeline, then you can sell the casinghead gas to the gas gatherer, if you can buck the line pressure.

But with the shitty current natural gas price, it's barely worth it.

283 here in Ohio I would take that car to an AutoZone (parts store) where they would check and clear my codes for free.  Anyone with a COM device can do this...what state do you live in?

You got it good in Ohio. Here in Texas, AutoZone can check your codes, but can't clear them, neither can the mechanic. If you have a code pop up, you have to have it fixed before the car can be inspected. I tried the ol' disconnect the battery to clear the codes trick and when i took it to be inspected, their machine read that the codes had been cleared and i had to wait for my trucks comp to reset itself, which obviously brought the code back up, before i could have it inspected.

284 I currently am venting lots and lots of methane from a flowing oil well in Gonzales County, Texas and feel great about it!

The best thing about going to the trash dump around here is watching all the pipes from under the trash piles burn off the methane. It makes the dump look like the beginning of BladeRunner.

285 You got it good in Ohio. Here in Texas, AutoZone can check your codes, but can't clear them, neither can the mechanic. If you have a code pop up, you have to have it fixed before the car can be inspected. I tried the ol' disconnect the battery to clear the codes trick and when i took it to be inspected, their machine read that the codes had been cleared and i had to wait for my trucks comp to reset itself, which obviously brought the code back up, before i could have it inspected.

Y'all should move to Oklahoma.  We figured out years ago that the inspection process and laws are nothing but a scam to filtch your wallet. 

286 274...Bring it mutherfucker

287

I currently am venting lots and lots of methane from a flowing oil well in Gonzales County, Texas and feel great about it!

So that isn't a euphemism regarding eating chili. Actually, I'm pleased to read that's the case. (Especially if you're coming to the ONT tonight.)

288

259 So, you start with a hay wagon
attach a methane carbureted Briggs & Stratton
attach cow in front of hay bale
stick a hose you know where
and shazam
Cow powered transportation

I have a better idea:

Stick the hose you know where
Put the other end of the hose into a giant balloon
Let the balloon inflate with methane
Lift off, and voila!
Cow-powered transportation and no road traffic to contend with

289 53 Show of hands:  Who is under the impression that we'll still be allowed to eat red meat under Obamacare?

Posted by: Truman North at October 30, 2009 03:04 PM (e8YaH)

Do hobos count?

290

Do hobos count?

Yummmmmm!   Hobos!

291 It's a good thing that the billions of buffalo were slaughtered on the American Plains 120 years ago, otherwise the huge amounts of methane they would have produced would have ignited the atmosphere when the first atomic bombs were tested...

292 I think we should all email this thread to John Chu, or whichever wacko is in charge of the Department of Energy these days.

293

So that isn't a euphemism regarding eating chili. Actually, I'm pleased to read that's the case. (Especially if you're coming to the ONT tonight.)

Posted by: andycanuck at October 30, 2009 06:13 PM (2qU2d)

Thanks. It kicked off Tuesday afternoon, and at $80/barrel.

294

Woohoo, TexasJew! And $80/barrel is good for Alberta and Saskatchewan, so that part's fine with me too. (Even though I'm in the People's Republic of Toronto.)

295

Stick the hose you know where
Put the other end of the hose into a giant balloon
Let the balloon inflate with methane
Lift off, and voila!
Cow-powered transportation and no road traffic to contend with

Posted by: stuiec at October 30, 2009 06:18 PM (7AOgy

Or a vehichle to take you straight to a reality t.v. show or jail, whichever comes first.

296

294

I'm doing most of my work now in northwest North Dakota, close to Canada, about 35-40 miles south of the Saskatchewan border. A serious drilling boom is developing up there, and I'm going to do my bit!

297

Help put a Conservative/pitbull in Pelosi's back yard.

Harmerforcongress.com

He can win the special election in California's 10th district.  Not much time left.  Throw him a bone.

298 - Goy -- no dispute with your story, however, here in Ohio I would take that car to an AutoZone (parts store) where they would check and clear my codes for free.  Anyone with a COM device can do this...what state do you live in?


Understood. This is in CT. And I did exactly what you describe some time back when I got a 'Service Engine Soon' light for a loose gas cap, so I know they can clear them. That's why I was so ticked. But after the emissions test failure, they claimed it wasn't legal for them to clear emissions failure codes. Who knows. And I simply didn't have the patience to look up the statutes and then, if appropriate, go argue with these guys. I just waited until I'd made enough errand trips to put on the miles.

299 I bet a $10 maybe even $5 bribe to the AutoZone clerk would have had that code cleared in a jiffy.

300 Don't forget, however, that hydrogen sulfide is likely a component of cow farts also. Therefore, it may put enough sulfur into the atmosphere to counteract all of the methane. On the other hand, hydrogen sulfide can turn into sulfurous acid, which causes acid rain. I think we should just go back to blaming human beings for global warming. This science stuff is too hard.

301 I'm going to do Taco Bell followed by broccoli cheese soup to celebrate.

DUTCH OVEN INCOMING!

302 "Methane's Impact on Global Warming Far Higher Than Previously Thought."

Translation: "We want to impose a fast food tax."

303

Sorry I got here so late.

 

All I can add is:

 

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart!

The more you eat 'em, the more you fart!

The more you fart, the better you feel,

So eat beans at every meal!

 

Clearly, veganism and vegetarianism must be banned, because human farts are equally to blame for Al Gore.

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