April 30, 2009
— Ace Don't close the borders-- that would be an overreaction.
However, you should yank your kids out of school and also avoid public transportation like planes and subways. "Wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now," he says. "That's me." He cites the difference between someone sneezing in an "open field" and someone sneezing in a classroom, plane, or subway.
: I would tell members of my family, and I have, that I wouldnt go anywhere in confined places now. Its not that its going to Mexico, in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. Thats me. I would not be, if I had another way, another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway.
He stops just short of recommending locking yourself in a stainless steel sensory deprivation pod for the next year, year and a half.
But -- don't close the borders. That would be rash.
I haven't been this reassured by an executive officer since Barack Obama threatened to crash Air Force One into the Statue of Liberty.
But "that's me."
Rahm Emmamuel just emailed me to say "Never waste a pandemic." He thinks he can link swine flu to support for doubling teachers' salaries. "They're operating in a war zone 24/7," he explains. I asked him if that meant soldiers should double their salaries, too, but he pirouetted away, which is sort of hard to do in an email. And yet he pulled it off, with moxie and panache.
Incidentally... I had to visit a friend in the hospital yesterday (everything's cool, don't worry). That's why I disappeared.
Anyway, let me tell you, it was wonderful standing amidst likely illegal aliens who were all wearing the facial masks recommended to anyone exhibiting "flu-like symptoms."
I could almost taste the pathogens. Mwah! They were, how you say, magnifique.
So, in related news, it turns out I'll be dead in 72 hours.
Avenge me.
But Seriously... Political correctness is a clear and present health risk. Yes, diseases often afflict one minority group before they hit the general population. and Mexico is brimming with swine flu, it seems, and yet we are to act as if this isn't the case, because to notice reality would be "insensitive" or something.
Tapper Asks Gibbs to "Clarify:" As Allah says, Gibbs can't spin this, because it's quite clear what Biden said and meant. And yet it tries spinning anyway.
Watch the video. Tapper objects "That's not even remotely close" to what Biden said in Gibbs' first attempt at "re-contextualizing" the remark; when Gibbs then says "I'm telling you what he meant to say," the press room breaks out in laughter.
Joe Biden Clarifies: And does so in the comments section of this blog. Odd. But I'll take a vice presidential quote when it's offered to me.
So the other day, some friends of mine and I were sitting around Katie's Diner, having waffles and goofing around. Without warning, this guy at the table sneezed three times. We knew it was swine flu, and we didn't want to cause a panic so we calmly and rationally beat him to death with our chairs.
God love 'im.
Posted by: Ace at
09:47 AM
| Comments (130)
Post contains 581 words, total size 4 kb.
Posted by: Dave at April 30, 2009 09:49 AM (Xm1aB)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 09:50 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 09:51 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 09:51 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: D-ling at April 30, 2009 09:51 AM (ick02)
It's been awhile since Uncle Joe, that joker, has been seen or heard from. He's coming back with a roar.
God love 'im. Somebody has to.
Posted by: Who Knows at April 30, 2009 09:51 AM (7FgWm)
Posted by: D-ling at April 30, 2009 09:52 AM (ick02)
Posted by: Guvnah at April 30, 2009 09:52 AM (Rg8DN)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 09:54 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: Toad at April 30, 2009 09:54 AM (o5vMm)
Posted by: Penfold at April 30, 2009 09:54 AM (lF2Kk)
pan - dem - ic
Just putting it out there.
By the way, if you missed Gibbs press conference today it was funny as hell. Tapper, apperently the only reporter left in DC, asked Gibbs about this and Gibbs said that what Biden actually meant to say was if his family was feeling ill he would tell them not to fly. Tapper responded with something like that's not even in the universe of what Biden actually said. Everybody was laughing at Gibbs. Funny.
Posted by: JackStraw at April 30, 2009 09:55 AM (VW9/y)
Posted by: pendejo grande at April 30, 2009 09:56 AM (PXZI9)
Posted by: Michael C Keehn at April 30, 2009 09:57 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Winston at April 30, 2009 09:57 AM (FggW0)
This is the Joe we all knew would emerge sooner or later.
As long as he doesn't get the world blown up or anything, he's pretty good value. No one else is quite as ludicrous as he is or gives as many laughs.
Posted by: Who Knows at April 30, 2009 09:58 AM (7FgWm)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 09:59 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: Dang Straights at April 30, 2009 10:00 AM (Haq+B)
Posted by: ed at April 30, 2009 10:01 AM (Urhve)
Posted by: kelly at April 30, 2009 10:01 AM (rVs8s)
Posted by: FreakyBoy at April 30, 2009 10:01 AM (4s1it)
That is the LA times article that says this flu is not such a big deal, yet ...
In fact, the current outbreak of the H1N1 virus, which emerged in San Diego and southern Mexico late last month, may not even do as much damage as the run-of-the-mill flu outbreaks that occur each winter without much fanfare.
... mounting preliminary evidence from genetics labs, epidemiology models and simple mathematics suggests that the worst-case scenarios are likely to be avoided in the current outbreak.
... As the virus adapts to its human hosts, it is likely to find ways of spreading more efficiently. But evolution also suggests it might become less dangerous, Olsen said.
"If it kills off all its potential hosts, you reach a point where the virus can't survive," he said. Working to calm public fears, U.S. officials on Wednesday repeatedly stressed the statistic of yearly flu deaths -- 36,000.
"We are making all of our decisions based on the science and the epidemiology," Napolitano said. "The CDC, the public health community and the World Health Organization all have said that closing out nation's borders is not merited here."
Though scientists have begun to relax about the initial toll, they're considerably less comfortable when taking into account the fall flu season. They remain haunted by the experience of 1918, when the relatively mild first wave of flu was followed several months later by a more aggressive wave.
The longer the virus survives, the more chances it has to mutate into a deadlier form.
"If this virus keep going through our summer," Palese said, "I would be very concerned."
Posted by: bill ___I WON at April 30, 2009 10:01 AM (zIEEc)
If Tapper does the interview, he will do it straight, etc. He was not known as hardcore journalist or right winger before this Administration.
Posted by: Jean at April 30, 2009 10:02 AM (L64A6)
Posted by: Mama AJ at April 30, 2009 10:02 AM (X6Zdh)
Posted by: Michael C Keehn at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Vic at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM (f6os6)
Posted by: Eleven at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM (7DB+a)
I mentioned in a different thread that the Waterloo, IA paper urged Mexicans to stay at home.
We harbor university students here in Black Hawk County and I'm a little worried about all the little University STD carriers who went to Mexico on Spring Break.
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM (qjKko)
Posted by: that dude from that movie at April 30, 2009 10:05 AM (7DB+a)
Posted by: di butler (New and Improved. Now with 20% more boobs!) at April 30, 2009 10:05 AM (qPIRP)
I just love the looks that Barack has to give Joe when he does one of his monster cock ups in his presence....you can see how ashamed and pissed he is.
Posted by: Who Knows at April 30, 2009 10:05 AM (7FgWm)
Posted by: Michael C Keehn at April 30, 2009 10:06 AM (0q2P7)
Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have said that....
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 30, 2009 10:07 AM (uwPRk)
Now, I don't want to create a panic, or cause anyone to overreact, but if a loved one or co-worker shows signs of the swine flu, the only way to stop them is to somehow destroy the brain nuke them from space. The pathogen must be eradicated. This is the only way to be sure.
I went through a lot of work to format this properly. You bastards better enjoy it.
Posted by: reason at April 30, 2009 10:07 AM (kZVsz)
I would like to see that band geek gal who beat up some mugger-thugs with her marching baton be in a room alone with Gibbs and Biden.
Long live the band geeks!
Posted by: Trish at April 30, 2009 10:08 AM (0U5Kd)
"Good to see Ace back in the mix. Didn't want to jinx anything, but privately I thought that he'd gone into a funk after getting kicked to the curb by Tri-Corner Tea Party Babe."
She left him for Slu. Apparently once you go ewok, indeed, you can go back.
Posted by: reason at April 30, 2009 10:09 AM (kZVsz)
Posted by: Michael C Keehn at April 30, 2009 10:09 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: AmishDude at April 30, 2009 10:09 AM (T0NGe)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:09 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: helen thomas at April 30, 2009 10:10 AM (MGu62)
Yes, but will you return as fast zombie!Ace or slow zombie!Ace?
Also it's so nice of Tapper to step into the role of reporter whom I find weirdly hot which was vacated by Brit Hume. It's the bitchiness, I'll admit it.
Posted by: alexthechick at April 30, 2009 10:10 AM (SHHaV)
Mexico is brimming with swine flu, it seems, and yet we are to act as if this isn't the case, because to notice reality would be "insensitive" or something.
Eh. Only 7 comfirmed dead of this thing. So either it's not that bad, or the info is extremely slow in getting out.
If there aren't actually cases of it between Mexico City and my little border town, it probably is overkill to close the border. OTOH, if it is or could get bad, why don't we try harder to slow it down until there is a vaccine and a lot more than 12 million doses of Tamiflu waiting??
Posted by: Mama AJ at April 30, 2009 10:12 AM (X6Zdh)
Remember: The selection of Joe Biden shows the brilliance of Barack Obama.
Posted by: nickless at April 30, 2009 10:12 AM (MMC8r)
Posted by: bill ___I WON at April 30, 2009 10:14 AM (zIEEc)
Undoubtedly, the warm embracing laughter heard among good friends as they relax together after work.
Ten-to-one says NY Times either a) doesn't mention Biden's ludicrous statement at all, or b) plays it exactly the way Gibbs has suggested, as "re-contextualized".
Posted by: DelD at April 30, 2009 10:16 AM (DqLUN)
rationally beat him to death with our chairs
That I made in a Saturday morning class at Home Depot.
Posted by: Mama AJ at April 30, 2009 10:16 AM (X6Zdh)
Posted by: SterileOne at April 30, 2009 10:16 AM (+sBB4)
Posted by: lmg at April 30, 2009 10:17 AM (A/vgC)
Posted by: FreakyBoy at April 30, 2009 10:17 AM (4s1it)
Posted by: rockhead at April 30, 2009 10:18 AM (DvaIL)
Gibbs: Obviously if someone was unduly alarmed by [Joe Biden's comments], for whatever reason....
Hey, guys, seriously. If you listen to Joe Biden, and you take what he says seriously, there really are no warranties implied with that. You do so at your own risk.
Gibbs has a hard enough time trying to explain Barry's various moments of nuance to these dogfish. Now he's gotta cover for The Sherrif every time he lets his mouth get ahead of his brain. You can sense the dread Bobby is feeling before he even calls on Tapper. It's fun to laugh at Bobby, but I do sympathize for the man. He has a job so bad, Mike Rowe won't even touch it.
Posted by: reason at April 30, 2009 10:19 AM (kZVsz)
Ugh. Drank too much bourbon last night; still hungover.
Any virus that can withstand the level of alcohol in my system last night deserves to spread, just for being that badass.
Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 30, 2009 10:19 AM (plsiE)
Posted by: iowavette at April 30, 2009 10:19 AM (0JTac)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 03:09 PM (oRJZj)
Funny you said that, I am reading it again now. King's best book, by far. The part where he describes the pathogen being passed from one person to another just destroys any sensible person's thoughts of avoiding a virus. Captain Trips! What a great name.
So, in related news, it turns out I'll be dead in 72 hours.
Live it up, Ace! VVVVodka for everybody!
Posted by: Mikeyslaw at April 30, 2009 10:20 AM (QMGr1)
Posted by: VPTOTUS at April 30, 2009 10:20 AM (+sBB4)
Guaranteed that any other nation that bordered the originating, epidemic nation, would have closed their borders immediately.
On another note, Joe Biden is calling for a ban on all of those small circus cars that contain an inordinate amount of clowns.
Posted by: polynikes at April 30, 2009 10:20 AM (m2CN7)
Posted by: Baary the O at April 30, 2009 10:20 AM (RNwpX)
Look, I said this on the other thread and I'll say it here, Biden said exactly what he meant to say. Remember, his fantastic gaffes usually have an element of truth in them (clean coal, VP selection, etc.)
Is it coincidence that Biden said what he did and several hours later Gibbs confirms a member of the delegation traveling with Obama in Mexico (and his family) had the flu?
Maybe Biden isn't alarmed over nothing, maybe he is alarmed over something.
p.s. Don't die Ace, this place is my non-terrorist Cheers. Even though nobody really knows my name.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 30, 2009 10:21 AM (AJ4xq)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:21 AM (/Mla1)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:22 AM (QMGr1)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 30, 2009 10:22 AM (AJ4xq)
He's really...not that bright, is he?
Posted by: Monty at April 30, 2009 10:23 AM (/0a60)
Posted by: Max Power at April 30, 2009 10:23 AM (q177U)
Posted by: Zombie at April 30, 2009 10:24 AM (0q2P7)
Posted by: Village Idiot at April 30, 2009 10:24 AM (KuHTm)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:25 AM (mD4t/)
@ 40.
Hypothetically speaking if art were to imitate life and we were to reference The Stand (one of my favorite books) wouldn't that make Obumbles The Walkin Dude/Randall Flagg?
Biden would have to be Trashcan Man
Posted by: Saluki at April 30, 2009 10:27 AM (Lh1qk)
Biden is a relief. Imagine what stupid thing Palin might have said. She could have come out with some idiotic statement like how she was afraid to send her kids to school, and how she was afraid to travel on planes and subways.
Posted by: di butler (New and Improved. Now with 20% more boobs!) at April 30, 2009 10:28 AM (qPIRP)
Posted by: RushBabe at April 30, 2009 10:29 AM (LKkE8)
Posted by: ed at April 30, 2009 10:33 AM (Urhve)
Gibbs explained Biden didn't mean to shoot them, but to provide them with bags of goodies to survive their illegal entry ...
Posted by: bill I WON at April 30, 2009 10:33 AM (zIEEc)
Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at April 30, 2009 10:35 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: Sparky at April 30, 2009 10:35 AM (J1f2W)
King's best book, by far.
The book is better than the movie even. King is a literary genius. I'm amazed and very disappointed he's a liberal.
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:36 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:36 AM (HAib+)
The book is better than the movie even. King is a literary genius. I'm amazed and very disappointed he's a liberal.
Yes, that book would have been a lot better if he did not go out of his way so much to trash the military.
Posted by: Vic at April 30, 2009 10:41 AM (f6os6)
Posted by: Joe Biden at April 30, 2009 10:43 AM (HAib+)
Posted by: Mikeyslaw at April 30, 2009 10:44 AM (QMGr1)
that book would have been a lot better if he did not go out of his way so much to trash the military.
Y' know, evil military is such a staple in movies, I barely even notice it anymore.
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:44 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:45 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: Barney the Frank at April 30, 2009 10:47 AM (RNwpX)
Posted by: Anniee451 at April 30, 2009 10:49 AM (tvKK4)
Name no. Breast size yes. We focus on the important around here.
Posted by: alexthechick at April 30, 2009 10:52 AM (SHHaV)
Um...I gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there. He peaked with The Shining, and it's been downhill ever since.
If you read a good horror novelist like Fritz Lieber or Richard Matheson or Peter Straub's early stuff (Ghost Story) and you'll quickly see the difference. Even Ray Bradbury did better with Something Wicked This Way Comes. If you like good pulp horror, Robert McCammon did it better; if you like literary horror, Robert Aickman did it better; if you like dark fantasy, T.E.D. Klein did it better.
Posted by: Monty at April 30, 2009 10:52 AM (/0a60)
I guess it's fine that potential carriers are still able to cross into the US.
Posted by: Dan at April 30, 2009 10:54 AM (Jr2NW)
Was talking to a friend of mine who works for Expedia.com and told her good luck with next quarters earnings after what VP Biden said on the Today show. She told me Expedia just started an ad campaign with the Today show, today.
How "ironical".
Posted by: AndrewsDad at April 30, 2009 10:54 AM (4cofd)
I don't want anybody to panic, but:
- If Obama dies, Joe Biden becomes president.
- If Biden dies, Nancy Pelosi becomes president.
- If Pelosi dies, Harry "Sheets" Byrd becomes president.
- If Byrd dies, Hillary Clinton becomes president.
Man, we sure dodged a bullet with that Palin chick!
Posted by: Brown Line at April 30, 2009 10:54 AM (VrNoa)
76 It seems like you can't go in to an emergency room or low cost clinic to have your flu treated without having a Mexican accent.
heh heh.
I'm with you PGiS. I kinda wonder if Slow Joe knows something we don't. He tends to always have a kernel of truth in his tales, doesn't he? Makes ya wonder what is really going on. I guess we'll all find out whenever the MSM gets through with their jerking off to clips of Barry's Enchanted Evening.
Posted by: di butler (New and Improved. Now with 20% more boobs!) at April 30, 2009 10:55 AM (qPIRP)
Posted by: Vic at April 30, 2009 10:56 AM (f6os6)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 10:57 AM (oRJZj)
Ace, its why I come back day after day. If I could think em up, I would be the master! Keep up the good works, and don't EVER let them see you sneeze.
Posted by: dfbaskwill at April 30, 2009 10:58 AM (ympAm)
Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at April 30, 2009 11:01 AM (1hM1d)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 11:05 AM (oRJZj)
Okay, quit calling in, folks! Threadwinnah is #58. Congrats!
Biden could reprise the Heston caged-freak role in a remake of The Planet of the Apes...
... but this time called "Planet of the Smart People".
Posted by: sherlock at April 30, 2009 11:07 AM (h6sl7)
Posted by: Twinks at April 30, 2009 11:15 AM (dTt9I)
Posted by: teej at April 30, 2009 11:16 AM (lG7ds)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 11:18 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: Todd at April 30, 2009 11:20 AM (RNwpX)
Posted by: NotADoctorBut... at April 30, 2009 11:23 AM (W0Th/)
Posted by: teej at April 30, 2009 11:28 AM (c459z)
Posted by: teej at April 30, 2009 11:28 AM (c459z)
Posted by: ADK46er at April 30, 2009 11:37 AM (QE45j)
Posted by: Scrapiron at April 30, 2009 11:47 AM (1kwr2)
LP
Posted by: The Last Patriot at April 30, 2009 11:56 AM (L4+96)
Posted by: rjm319 at April 30, 2009 11:57 AM (AkM1a)
Posted by: katya at April 30, 2009 11:59 AM (oRJZj)
Posted by: Dagny Tagert at April 30, 2009 12:14 PM (nfhng)
Posted by: The Last Amtrak Passenger at April 30, 2009 12:20 PM (gftD1)
Posted by: someone2 at April 30, 2009 01:01 PM (/Y+ag)
Posted by: tsj017 at April 30, 2009 01:11 PM (TV9JE)
Posted by: adagioforstrings at April 30, 2009 03:20 PM (xuWF4)
Biden reminds me of the old when God was handing out brains jokes.
Posted by: di butler (New and Improved. Now with 20% more boobs!) at April 30, 2009 03:29 PM (qPIRP)
Posted by: Dave S at April 30, 2009 04:00 PM (4it72)
Posted by: scif at April 30, 2009 04:09 PM (7dcDX)
Posted by: someone2 at
Sorry, I jumped to the end before I saw your post.
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