Ace of Spades HQ

November 30, 2007

CBS Is Looking For An Environmental ReporterNo Actual Environmental Knowledge Required
— DrewM

Style over substance at the Tiffany Network? Considering no one actually watches their news its probably not that big of a deal.

You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy. This position requires strong people, reporting, story telling and writing skills. Managing tight deadlines should be second nature. Knowledge of the enviro beat is a big plus, but not a requirement.

The Decidersremember they are smarter and better trained than the rest of us.

h/t The Corner

Posted by: DrewM at 12:20 PM | Comments (33)
Post contains 104 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm Wicked Smaaht!

Posted by: Eleven at November 30, 2007 12:24 PM (7DB+a)

2

Know what I think is a big plus and should definitely be a a requirement -- big tits.

Posted by: aoshq janitorial & escort service at November 30, 2007 12:25 PM (ibiEO)

"This position requires strong people, reporting, story telling and writing skills."

Could have left out everything but what I bolded. Seems to be all the rest of their staff does. Poorly I'll add.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 12:26 PM (/vN7m)

4 Oh, and notice that the words "journalist" or "Journalism" are even mentioned.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 12:30 PM (/vN7m)

5 ^ are NOT mentioned.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 12:31 PM (/vN7m)

6 "Irreverent and hip" sounds like code for "self-satisfied and annoying".

Posted by: sandy burger at November 30, 2007 12:36 PM (K2rlS)

"Irreverent and hip" sounds like code for "self-satisfied and annoying".

Whereas "oozing with enthusiasm" just sounds annoying.

Posted by: Eleven at November 30, 2007 12:50 PM (7DB+a)

"Irreverent and hip" sounds like code for "self-satisfied and annoying".

Yes, because what the journalism world desperately needs are smug, condescending douchebags like that goofy looking truth.com mutt who rides around and sticks it to those eeevil tobacco companies.

Posted by: VJay at November 30, 2007 12:52 PM (gQ+XA)

9 Why on earth would anyone need to know about a subject that they specialize in reporting on? They've been covering religion for decades without the slightest clue.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 30, 2007 01:02 PM (hfyfI)

10 Know what I think is a big plus and should definitely be a a requirement -- big tits.

How'd you know that we were looking for a receptionist?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at November 30, 2007 01:03 PM (Ds4I5)

Why didn't they just write "MKH without a brain"?

Ah, well, they'll get lots of candidates who can talk about their vast experience recycling or taking short showers, so they'll end up someone we really should take seriously. BECAUSE IT'S FOR MOTHER EARTH!!1!

Posted by: MamaAJ at November 30, 2007 01:09 PM (X6Zdh)

12 And to think, 4 years wasted getting my BS in Earth and Atmospheric Sciences and 2 years wasted getting the MS in Environmental Chemistry.......

Posted by: Techie at November 30, 2007 01:16 PM (AV8Z6)

13 And when the just kind of accidentally bring up knowledge of the subject, it isn't even the subject, it's "the enviro beat," i.e. you hang around with a bunch of smelly hippies and you have contacts at GreenPiece and The Sierra Crap.

They're probably aggressively excluding anyone with any actual knowledge or scientific background.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a reporter?
The audience, and a little Latin.

Posted by: Merovign at November 30, 2007 01:24 PM (IaYDo)

And to think, 4 years wasted getting my BS in Earth and Atmospheric Sciences and 2 years wasted getting the MS in Environmental Chemistry

Yeah, Techie, you could have spent that time working on your irreverance and ooziness. Then you'd qualify for your Decider decoder ring.

I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

Posted by: VJay at November 30, 2007 01:26 PM (gQ+XA)

15 The Decidersremember they are smarter and better trained than the rest of us.

Smartness and training are a big plus. but not a requirement.

Posted by: LanterneRouge at November 30, 2007 01:35 PM (gsHb/)

Didn't they already hire a "perky" anchor that fits this discription? Maybe they can get Rosie?

This pretty much sums up what CBS thinks of their audience, and why they continue to lose share.

Posted by: CharlieDontSurf at November 30, 2007 01:43 PM (LhzD9)

17 You don't need knowledge, just look good and be able to read the teleprompter without moving your eyes. After all, you're only repeating the story line. You don't have to understand it.

Posted by: GarandFan at November 30, 2007 01:47 PM (+tCxF)

18 Ooo Ooo pick me, pick me! I can be a self endulgent mantra repeating jack ass who bloviates about things I know nothing about. Really, I'll even give you my ex-wife's phone number as a reference!

Posted by: bcismar at November 30, 2007 01:52 PM (zhVlW)

19 The Washington Post did something similar recently. They named infobabe Sally 'Oh My Gosh, I'm Such A Complete Airhead' Quinn as their religion reporter. She started off her first piece with 'You know, I don't know anything about religion...'

Journalism. Catch the fever.

Posted by: OregonMuse at November 30, 2007 02:02 PM (uzP/l)

20 Yeah, but she took three whole weeks to learn about the major world religions! She's ready for the job now.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 30, 2007 02:16 PM (hfyfI)

21 Actually, other than the bigger boobs and lighter skin color, she's not very different from Michelle Malkin.

Posted by: Tinian at November 30, 2007 02:45 PM (1Mq7K)

22 Oops!

That was supposed to be posted on the Erin Burnett thread.

Posted by: Tinian at November 30, 2007 02:47 PM (1Mq7K)

23 How about AL GORE or some bunch of hollywooe tree huggers they know absolutly nothing about the real state of the enviroment or select various tree sitters or sco-wacko leaders who eco-knowlage is 0000000

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at November 30, 2007 02:54 PM (4yJRe)

Irreverent and hip" sounds like is code for "self-satisfied and annoying", i.e., an asshole.

Posted by: maxxman at November 30, 2007 03:44 PM (OYeDg)

25 CBS, call me. I'm available, and very environmental being a turtle and all. Don't know shit about journalism, so that should be a big plus. I work cheap too. A bag of Cheetos a week and I'm happy.

Posted by: Purple Avenger's pet turtle at November 30, 2007 03:47 PM (yaQ0s)

26 Global warming gave me a gigantic cock.*

_{*so I'm pretty much cool with it.}

Posted by: Warden at November 30, 2007 04:28 PM (rZ5uY)

27
#9 Eleven wrote, "Whereas 'oozing with enthusiasm' just sounds annoying."

"oozing with enthusiasm" is justification for quarantine and treatment with heavy sedation.

Posted by: Looking Glass at November 30, 2007 04:32 PM (p3bw6)

"wicked smart"

That's part of te job search for a "professional" position on a real national network?

"funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy"

Ditto. you sure this isn't for the Village Voice?

"Knowledge of the enviro beat is a big plus, but not a requirement. "

Who knew that the wrters' strike wold hit the personnel department?

With a BS in Environmental Science and and MS in Ecology, I've got way too much class to work for these clowns.

Posted by: joated at November 30, 2007 04:46 PM (8nB5X)

29 On the other hand, since j-school grads don't know squat about science, economics, climatology, medicine, military history, religion, or pretty much anything else they write about, how this is such a big outrage?

Posted by: OregonMuse at November 30, 2007 05:59 PM (JpJT3)

30 "oozing with enthusiasm"

Well I'm oozing with something, I don't know if it's enthusiasm though.

Posted by: CapitalistPiglet at November 30, 2007 06:43 PM (3c3uA)

From now on there will be no escaping the inevitabl question that is allways going to be asked, about almost everthing whether in politics or about the simplest products or services: Yes, BUT is it E-OK!. Envirnmentally And Ecologically OK ?

Just a thought

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