Ace of Spades HQ

July 28, 2008

Caught With Extensive Tunnels for Smuggling Weapons, Gazans Claim Tunnelss Are Only Used to Smuggle... Milk for Impoverished Children
— Ace

Milk again. Remember Saddam's famous "Milk Factory"? A milk factory in which the workers wore t-shirts reading MILK FACTORY, in English for some reason.

And now it's Milk Subterranean Distribution System. An underground railroad for dairy products.

Palestinian officials from the Gaza Strip have distributed a set of carefully-staged photographs they say are evidence that the smuggling tunnels running under the Gaza-Egypt border are for milk and other essential goods, not weapons.
The photographs show masked Palestinian militants lifting jugs of milk and sacks of baby food from the entrance to one of the tunnels on the Gaza side of the border.
Israel insists that the tunnels, of which intelligence estimates indicate there are hundreds, are used to import small arms and advanced weapons like heavy mortar shells, anti-tank missiles and anti-aircraft missiles. The tunnels are also said to be the conduit via which the Palestinians receive the material used to build their Kassam rockets.
Hamas has acknowledged Israel's position by insisting during ceasefire negotiations last month that it would not agree to halt smuggling efforts as part of the truce.

Uh-huh.

Iran immediately announced its 6000 high-speed centrifuges were only for the purpose of a new milk-blending technique they call "extreme homogenization."

"We need 400 gallons of 2%, Stat!"

Posted by: Ace at 11:03 AM | Comments (31)
Post contains 248 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Nuke the towelheads.

Posted by: Mark at July 28, 2008 11:12 AM (65WaW)

I wonder if the Israelis could flood those tunnels...hmmm...

Posted by: EC at July 28, 2008 11:15 AM (mAhn3)

3 Those jugs....are they filled with homo milk?

Posted by: Andi at July 28, 2008 11:16 AM (ao5cQ)

4 There are no homogenizations in Iran.

Posted by: Mahmoud Ahmedinejad at July 28, 2008 11:17 AM (QqkDB)

5 And if Israel offered to supply free milk to every child in Gaza, there would be a UN resolution denouncing its cruelty to the lactose-intolerant the same day.

Posted by: bgates at July 28, 2008 11:22 AM (RzFhF)

6 Nuke the towelheads.

Gee, Moby, Israel might not appreciate nuking a postage stamp on their border with Egypt. It'd be like nuking Vermont.

Posted by: Stinky Esposito at July 28, 2008 11:26 AM (ztrpj)

7 What does it mean when they think we are that stupid?

Posted by: mare at July 28, 2008 11:26 AM (xMkst)

8 So they're not smuggling tunnels they're dairy delivery routes--I wonder if any of these guys is fucking the milkman...

Posted by: ECM at July 28, 2008 11:26 AM (q3V+C)

9 Someone with mad photoshop skillz is missing a golden opportunity here. One of those "Got Milk?" ads with a terrorist and his milk mustache doing something non-dairy and evil. Where's Slubog on this one?

Posted by: janis at July 28, 2008 11:36 AM (+rUxZ)

10 Milk, milk, always milk... what is it with shifty 3rd world bastards and milk! Beggars in every country in Latin America I've been to have asked for one thing and one thing only - money with which to buy milk. Why not bread? Bread's equally inoffensive, necessary, good. Always milk...

Posted by: Guy in Utah at July 28, 2008 11:36 AM (gmorv)

11 The tunnel Rachel Corrie was guarding was used to smuggle pancake batter and jugs of delicious maple syrup.

Posted by: Tim at July 28, 2008 11:46 AM (AdvE1)

12 We need Carl Spackler.

"Cannonball....cannonball comin'..."

Posted by: grognard at July 28, 2008 11:58 AM (5npD/)

13 Little did she know that would in fact become pancake batter.

Posted by: hhuummbbeerrtt at July 28, 2008 11:59 AM (f7A+e)

14 My favorite pic has got to be the pulley system to lower a single half gallon bottle.

Posted by: phillipe at July 28, 2008 12:09 PM (GExKc)

15 This sounds like a job for Bacon Man!

Posted by: mesablue at July 28, 2008 12:33 PM (5yNaE)

16 Palestinian women are forbidden to lactate.

Posted by: Fritz at July 28, 2008 12:34 PM (zAvxs)

17 Mom, why is there a nail bomb in my box of Golden Crisp?

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at July 28, 2008 12:37 PM (664Z3)

"It'd be like nuking Vermont."

I knew the idea had merit.

Posted by: Mark at July 28, 2008 01:40 PM (65WaW)

How fuckin' stupid do they think we are?

TIP: when lying to cover your ass, try not to insult the intelligence of the entire world.

This is almost as insulting as "depends on what your definition of is is"....almost.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at July 28, 2008 01:41 PM (Nwbo8)

I feel for the Israelis, really.

Damned goblin-infested tunnels can really ruin one's day.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at July 28, 2008 02:52 PM (wgLRl)

You mean there's a Milf factory out there somewhere??!! Do they give tours and tastings??

And a Milf distribution network?? Good God, man, why didn't someone share that with me sooner??!!

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at July 28, 2008 03:13 PM (p8IOE)

22 I am sure the MSM is gonna call "bullshit" on this in 3...2...1... *crickets*

Posted by: Penfold at July 28, 2008 03:21 PM (lF2Kk)

23 Yeah, but were the jugs half empty or half full?

Posted by: WalrusRex at July 28, 2008 03:30 PM (DVVXZ)

24 They have to smuggle it underground because Jooooooos hate milk for making them phlegmy.

Posted by: Dave M at July 28, 2008 04:14 PM (DZhm7)

Hey, sunlight reduces the nutritional value of milk. They were just being extra careful.

Posted by: Ralph L at July 28, 2008 04:31 PM (7OsaB)

26 This isn't so weird. Our childhood milkman delivered milk up through the manholes in the street and our mailman, disguised as a maple tree, would sneak from house to house on his appointed rounds.

Posted by: eman at July 28, 2008 04:45 PM (bXWSG)

It'd be like nuking Vermont.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Posted by: New Hampshire at July 28, 2008 05:22 PM (BOyTY)

28 I'm having a Dragnet moment. The movie, not the series.

Posted by: The Watcher at July 28, 2008 05:38 PM (Ygcse)

29 The plight of the Palestinians never ends. Now they have to smuggle milk. What will those crafty Jews start withholding from them next? Hello Kitty stickers?

You know what they say: If Israel gives up its Hello Kitty stickers, there will be no more Gaza Hallmark franchises. If the Palestinians give up their Hello Kitty stickers, there'll be no more Palestine.

Posted by: red speck at July 28, 2008 07:59 PM (imYOK)

30 Show me the cows.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at July 28, 2008 09:17 PM (yIy7z)

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Posted by: mark at December 07, 2008 09:12 PM (nWyuK)

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