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February 27, 2009

Battlestar Galactica: Someone to Watch Over Me Discussion Thread
— Gabriel Malor

Well, we had three weeks in a row of good stuff. And then last week. My short recap is below the fold.

In tonight's episode, we deal with Starbuck's special destiny and just about everyone wants to make Boomer pay. After this, three episodes to go. When do I get my Lucy back?

Spoiler Policy: Anything from the miniseries and the show up to and including tonight's episode is fair game; no need to warn or in some way obscure text for anything that comes from that material. However, anything you may have heard about future episodes should be kept to yourself. Thanks. Deadlock Recap:

This is not a good episode. In short, it is a soap opera. I know people say that about the show all the time, but usually it's a soap opera with science fiction trimmings. This episode could have been taken directly from a script for any of a dozen soaps. The TV Guide version:

Ellen returns after her apparent death in Season 3 to find that her husband has moved on. Now, with his new lover expecting a child, Ellen forces him to chose between his new family and his old life. But after discovering that there is a third true love in his life, his best friend the Admiral, she conspires to kill his unborn child. DRAMA.

The teaser catches us up on all three plots. Galactica is wounded, but repair teams are slathering Cylon goop all up inside to make her better. Caprica is pregnant and once upon a time was a real fighter. Also, the Cylons in the fleet face discrimination in Dogsville. And Ellen is back and eager to see the Final Five.

As far as Galactica's lube, the plot goes nowhere. The Admiral is still all broken up about it, both guzzling more drinks than Tigh and popping more pills than Roslin. What a loser and that's all I'm going to say about it.

The other plots get most of the attention and, of course, Ellen's return is integral to both of them. So let's start there. Last week we saw Ellen and Boomer escape from Cavil. Now they've arrived at the fleet (how'd they find it again?) and landed in the hangar bay. The Raptor's door lifts up and --

"How many dead chicks are out there?" Hotdog quietly asks. Tell me about it. So Ellen's back and neither the Admiral nor the President are happy about it. Tyrol IDs Boomer at a glance and the Admiral sends "that Eight" off to the brig. Tigh immediately begins to suck face with his ex-dead wife and every viewer simultaneously says, "Oh, hell, it's going to be that episode." Cut to Opening Credits.

It is fairly predictable and quite disappointing. The poised, elegant, superior Ellen which confronted Cavil just last week is gone. Instead, we've got a jealous shrew with none of the wisdom of her age. Her goal is simple, frak her husband and when she's done with that break his new girlfriend. It's ugly. It's base. And it's absolutely calculated.

"You just can't stop poisoning me," Ellen accuses Tigh. But, she figures out faster than anyone else that "love" was keeping Tigh and Caprica's unborn baby alive. All she has to do is get Tigh to love her instead -- say, by selflessly stepping aside, perhaps? -- and the baby goes bye-bye.

Along the way she sides with Tori, a Six, and an Eight who want the Cylons to abandon the fleet. They want to have a majority vote because it is "the Cylon way." Tori, Tyrol, and Ellen vote to get the heck out of dodge. Tigh and unconscious Anders want to stay with the fleet. Ellen gets bent out of shape when she realizes that Tigh's true love isn't Caprica and it isn't her imperilled pregnancy that's keeping him (she thinks this for a while because he forgot to tell her that little inconvenient fact before Tori spilled the beans). He wants to stay because of his Epic Bromance with the Admiral, who would have been the namesake for Tigh and Caprica's son. How this surprised Ellen after she bitched about it all the way through Season 2 is left unexplored.

After it's all done: the baby is dead, Caprica is laid up in the medical bay, and Tigh goes to the Admiral to confess that he was going to name the baby "Liam". They have a good cry and my mother called bullshit on this scene and the whole concept just because she doesn't buy into all this Guy Love crap. So your mileage may vary.

Oh. Right, Baltar also got a storyline, but it was boring and mostly pointless, but hey Baltar has a bastard. He takes shit from some character we've only seen once before who wants to run his little cult now, so we know how that's going to turn out. Baltar wins. Oh, and the Admiral lets him arm his cult. The only important part of the whole thing is that Head Six, the Angel, is back and advising him again.

Finally, at the very end we see that Anders' little brain monitor gets all jumpy, so presumably he will be back in the next episode.

Did I miss anything?

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 03:40 PM | Comments (91)
Post contains 896 words, total size 5 kb.

1 I have never watched BSG, so perhaps someone can explain to me why that dude has boobs.

Posted by: Milesdei at February 27, 2009 03:42 PM (FS9ko)

2 You're right....Apollo has ta-ta's.....shit

Posted by: steevy at February 27, 2009 03:45 PM (OF4WB)

3 ***SPOILER ALERT!!!***
(this show is really, really gay)

Posted by: hinky at February 27, 2009 03:45 PM (r4USP)

4 *kicks new comments thingy*

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at February 27, 2009 03:52 PM (rWvvO)

5 Ah they are still using MP-7's.

Posted by: steevy at February 27, 2009 03:54 PM (OF4WB)

6 You changed the picture, Malor! Re-post the picture of the pre-op tranny in the training bra!

Posted by: Milesdei at February 27, 2009 03:56 PM (FS9ko)

7 Hopefully they've gotten all the soap opera crap out of the way now and tonight's episode will be good. They still have to explain the new changeling Starbuck, they have to get to whatever nearest planet to earth, etc. Boomer and Tyrol were always destined to get back together so that'll happen soon....she'll probably give him a hard time about being cylon after all the shit he gave her about being cylon

Posted by: CanaDave at February 27, 2009 04:04 PM (Gkv6y)

8 Lucy ain't never comin' back ... she was too expensive for the BSG producers ... thus her decision to remain on "Earth" in the first episode of season 4.5 ...

Posted by: BSG Oracle at February 27, 2009 04:12 PM (W3OwL)

If Starbuck has to be a woman, the least Apollo can do is grow some boobs to make him feel better. It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: estee at February 27, 2009 04:15 PM (xlYqZ)

10 With all the chicks dying on this show, you would think Malor was writing it.

Posted by: Fios at February 27, 2009 04:20 PM (SsMER)

11 Hot naked Boomer?

How about some good old fashioned BSG violence? Shit, at least on the Soaps you get chicks wearing barely nothing.

Posted by: William Teach at February 27, 2009 04:20 PM (7yTel)

12 Gay.

Posted by: David Mickelson at February 27, 2009 04:29 PM (pRxrH)

13 I think all the women should go in one of the hanger decks, put on skimpy lingerie, and have a battle with supersoakers filled with oil, then wrestle. That is how you finish off a show.

But not Cally, that bitch was annoying.

Posted by: mrcaniac at February 27, 2009 04:38 PM (Rbulg)

14 can i buy a lace wig here?

Posted by: shoey at February 27, 2009 04:39 PM (RxUMK)

15 I want some Nikes. Chop, chop.

Posted by: mrcaniac at February 27, 2009 04:45 PM (Rbulg)

I've never watched this show but the moobs pic was pretty funny.

Posted by: armybrat at February 27, 2009 04:46 PM (gKERI)

17 That's an old pic of Anders and they've disappeared the MP-7's in favour of CX4's.

Posted by: EC at February 27, 2009 04:47 PM (iWj1i)

18 Still watching, but stopped caring.

Odds are 2 of the remaining 4 episodes will kick butt.

Posted by: andros at February 27, 2009 04:48 PM (k39jK)

19 Was that last episode meant to make us feel better the show is mercifully coming to an end soon?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 04:50 PM (iafWn)

20 God, what I would do for ten minutes with a hot steaming Boomer twat...

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 04:51 PM (iafWn)

21 That pic of Anders was back from when he and a certain blogger were still pounding each other. Memories.

Posted by: Fios at February 27, 2009 04:53 PM (SsMER)

22 I think the end of the show will come when the Galactica files for divorce from the crew.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 04:55 PM (iafWn)

23 How long until Hopenchange Apollo starts giving bailouts to the crappy ships in the fleet.

Posted by: mrcaniac at February 27, 2009 04:57 PM (Rbulg)

24 I can't believe you morons are still watching this shit.

Posted by: Harsh Reality at February 27, 2009 05:00 PM (gbYEk)

25 Never saw the back tat before

Posted by: Sekhmet at February 27, 2009 05:02 PM (Vz+LS)

26 They're seating a Six in the Quorum?

Posted by: Sekhmet at February 27, 2009 05:04 PM (Vz+LS)

27 I don't have cable, so I have never watched this incarnation of BSG. Is it still about a rag-tag, fugitive fleet? How about the dad from Bonanza? Is he still playing the leader?

Posted by: John F Not Kerry at February 27, 2009 05:05 PM (HF2US)

28 @29: Well... Wasn't that special!

Posted by: The Church Lady at February 27, 2009 05:22 PM (iafWn)

Klaatu barada niktu

Well... sorta. Look maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable, no.

But basically I said them, yeah.

Posted by: Entropy at February 27, 2009 05:35 PM (cok/k)

30 the way this show is moving, i get the sense it is going to end like that old show Twin Peaks. Guess they will have to make a movie in a couple years where only a couple members of the original cast hang out in a red-roomed alternate dimension.

Funniest part to that show was Duchovny - he plays a cross-dressing Fox Mulder.

Posted by: A.G. at February 27, 2009 05:35 PM (JoIvi)

31 25 I.Want.To.See.Some.Hot.Toaster.Action.
-
Dammit - one of the good things about BSG was having a Centurion or two stomping around kicking butt. What happened? Did some household appliance grievance group threaten a protest?

Cylons are doing cap and trade. Just doing their part to stop delay global universal warming climate change!

Posted by: mrcaniac at February 27, 2009 05:35 PM (Rbulg)

32 So one boomer is beating up another? After they're done, can we have them clean up? Maybe in the shower?

Posted by: NEPA Dissident at February 27, 2009 05:42 PM (Ohodx)

33 ...because that would be the highlight of this entire godforsaken series.

Posted by: NEPA Dissident at February 27, 2009 05:43 PM (Ohodx)

34 Thanks to Boomer & Caprica, plugging in my toaster will never be the same...

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 05:43 PM (iafWn)

35 Who was in the cell?

Posted by: CavMedic at February 27, 2009 05:44 PM (rYFmu)

36 @34: or a tub of jello?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 05:45 PM (iafWn)

37 @37: The one in the cell was a random 8 that the chief whacked over the head with a wrench when the lights went out while she was slathering goop all over the insides of Galactica.

Hmm. 8 slathering goop. I'll be in my bunk...

Posted by: Anachronda at February 27, 2009 05:47 PM (xkzG7)

38 You mean they're rubbing the entire interior of the Galactica with female cylon juice? That's going to be one funky smelling space tuna...

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 27, 2009 05:55 PM (iafWn)

39 @40, would the lubricant be petroleum-based?

Posted by: Sekhmet at February 27, 2009 05:59 PM (Vz+LS)

40 @40 "Oh, you're trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It's the bathroom door off of a tuna boat."

Posted by: DSkinner at February 27, 2009 06:01 PM (zKK0O)

41 I did not see the music change coming. That was pretty good.

Posted by: Silk at February 27, 2009 06:03 PM (kIz/p)

#28 - It's a little different now, although I don't watch it. Starbuck is a girl. Boomer is possibly a girl, too. Apollo is still a guy, as far as I know, and Pa Cartwright is the captain from Miami Vice. I'm not sure about Boxy and that little pet thing he had. Did I mention that Starbuck is a girl?

Posted by: estee at February 27, 2009 06:05 PM (xlYqZ)

43 satisfied #11 and blueballed #20.

re:41. vaseline is petroleum based.

so I guess the moral of the episode is: "dont trust deceitful bitches. even if they are hot."

Posted by: A.G. at February 27, 2009 06:12 PM (JoIvi)

44 Oh, good, 5 minutes of actual content that seemed to have a slight meaning.

Posted by: William Teach at February 27, 2009 06:13 PM (7yTel)

45 PS: good job, Chief!!!!! Sucker.

Posted by: William Teach at February 27, 2009 06:13 PM (7yTel)

Well, it didn't disappoint in that it was a disappointing episode. More out-of-character actions and a self-indulgent episode that sapped whatever momentum remained from two weeks ago.

I kind of bristled at Tyrol being treated like a lackey by the Prez, QuorumSix, and Adama. Dude's a Final Fiver, and they're acting like he's a nobody. Yet last week the entire Cylon Rebel Squad was ready to leave the fleet based on the votes of the Five. And Tyrol's character was way off tonight...actions were coming way out of left field and were inconsistent with what we know of the guy.

Oh, and how was Kara Thrace's Special Destiny expanded upon, other than via retcon (which is, frankly, how this entire damn show is wrapping up.)?

Annoying. Again.

Posted by: John Tant at February 27, 2009 06:15 PM (9mGhH)

47 #46: Yay! I wasn't the only one with that reaction!

Posted by: Anachronda at February 27, 2009 06:15 PM (xkzG7)

48 Spoiler Policy: You know you're gay.. right?

Posted by: nutmegory at February 27, 2009 06:17 PM (2bYlb)

49 @34: or a tub of jello?

Creamed corn...you get into the creamed corn...it'd set a nice example for the other girls.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at February 27, 2009 06:32 PM (MlEgW)

50 just a little gay.

Posted by: Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg at February 27, 2009 06:42 PM (ysCm3)

51 This better all come together, or I'm going to be very pissed off.

My theory now is her father was a Daniel, the lost #7 "artist model". That makes her half-Toaster. Still doesn't explain her rebirth though.

Posted by: SGT Dan at February 27, 2009 06:49 PM (bzYZw)

52 Barry: What have you got there?
LeVon: This is a box of puddin', Barry.
Barry: What does it say?
LeVon: It says "cook, and chill."
Barry: Aw yeah.
LeVon: and baby, that's what I do every night. I cook, and then I chill.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 27, 2009 07:07 PM (EtTEh)

53 For me, this show jumped the shark about 3/4 of the way into the first season. It started out like a good old sci-fi show - humans are showing their usual drive for survival and managing to survive the attacks by the evil alien guys because they just can't abide by their species being wiped out. It was fun. I was simple, but Science Fiction rarely does semantics well.

Then along comes the bullshit. Are the Cylons REALLY the bad guys? Are humans really any better than them? Maybe we should just try to understand their motives and meet with them without preconditions! (jee, where have I heard that before?)

Bull. Thanks for taking what might have been a decent sci-fi and turning it into a human-hatefest. Fuck it, I'll be watching Firefly.

Posted by: Revvy at February 27, 2009 07:25 PM (j82G4)

54 Tonight's episode was Starbuck getting all angsty and Boomer betraying the Chief. For the fourth-to-the-last episode, I couldn't figure out why they spent the whole time not moving the story much.

Posted by: Muskwa at February 27, 2009 08:50 PM (MUWdy)

55 @56
Well, they did introduce the bit about her father and the connection to the song. But that still doesn't raise the total amount of content in the show over 10-15 minutes.

I wonder if the whole cycle thing is going to play out with the Starbuck father figure having the relationship to the Earth-born final-5 "Cylons" as they do to the Colonies' skinjobs. That's the only way I can see it being resolved in the remaining episodes if they keep up this pace.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 27, 2009 09:32 PM (EtTEh)

56 I'm starting to think that at the end of the last episode Hera will wake up and say "Mommy! Mommy! I had the strangest dream!" and her mother will be Suzanne Pleshette.

Posted by: Anachronda at February 27, 2009 09:41 PM (xkzG7)

57 I actually appreciated the complicated enemies, but people who were paying attention knew they were still enemies. And had to be dealt with.

Except... the show kept getting dumber, and dumber, and dumber...

It's like they built this great series, and then decided to piss it down their legs. I just don't get it.

Posted by: Merovign at February 27, 2009 09:50 PM (or0jG)

58 this episode was shot in a very 80s anime style. I liked the piano all the way through. I swear that the keys being played were the same that bowie playedd in Robotech Southern Cross saga.

Posted by: starkid at February 27, 2009 10:27 PM (539lF)

"Did I miss anything?"

Do you really want to go there?

Posted by: Jess at February 28, 2009 01:51 AM (kRVIg)

60 Did they lose a writer sometime in season three that was keeping the story together? I fell asleep to last nights episode and am struggling to get to the final episode. For every good episode that you think they're back on track they follow with 2 or 3 or more pointless filler episodes with Adama and Tigh sitting in Adama's room getting drunk and crying or fighting. Then you have too many minutes devoted to Starbuck's angst. They've drained any entertainment value out of Giaus, who used to be fun and interesting. The President is beyond pointless and I'm not sure what the point of any of the cylon's are anymore (Helen Tigh the final cylon???????????????). It's as if Galactica ran out of fuel and is drifting in space.

Posted by: Ann NY at February 28, 2009 04:05 AM (n82VB)

Maybe, by saying we're all Cylons, what they're trying to say is that we're all special, that we all have a special destiny. Whether it's helping children or just making the world a better place, maybe we all have that special song playing in our head, the one that makes us happy and sad at the same time, but mostly happy, and we can share that music with the universe.

Because the universe is a song, and each one of us sings a bit of the harmony.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 28, 2009 04:17 AM (5KNeJ)

But that still doesn't raise the total amount of content in the show over 10-15 minutes.

I'd give it about 4.5 minutes of content. First minute was a nice twist, since I'd assumed it was Adama who was going to try Boomer for treason.

Then we needed a minute or two to get Starbuck and the Finals to start figuring out who Starbuck's dad was. (The piano guy is being very fatherly to Starbuck. Just cause she obviously needs it and it helps the flashbacks?) Wow, the name on the tape starts with D but isn't acutally Daniel. Sneaky, eh?

Then there was another minute of Boomer roping in the Chief. Another minute for her to snatch Hera--remember Hera is important again!

Did I miss anything?

Oh, yeh. If Boomer could find the fleet, Cavil knows where the fleet is.

For the fourth-to-the-last episode, I couldn't figure out why they spent the whole time not moving the story much.

They just have taken too much time with the show. If they had done 4 seasons in 4 years, they wouldn't have had the time to get so "clever". The half-season idea was bad the strike didn't help. They know that if you're still watching now, you want to see how it ends, so they can stretch a 2 hour finale into this whole half season.

I miss the feature on my old DVR where I could fast forward and still see the closed captioning.

Posted by: MamaAJ at February 28, 2009 04:20 AM (X6Zdh)

63 Oh, 30 seconds more plot: they explain the concept of "Cylon projection" which would kinda sorta explains the Six in Baltar's head. Maybe he'll turn out to be another of Daniel's children and therefore Starbuck's half brother...lol, which one would be more grossed out at that?

Posted by: MamaAJ at February 28, 2009 04:25 AM (X6Zdh)

64 Gab likes dicks in his butt.

Posted by: Fios at February 28, 2009 04:28 AM (SsMER)

65 I can't wait until it's over and people start editing each season down to a tight 90 minutes. I would pay money to see that.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 28, 2009 04:42 AM (EtTEh)

#63,

So BG is something like this:

"I'd like to build the world a home and Furnish it with love, Grow apple trees & honey bees & snow white turtle doves..."

Figures.

Let's see: have my sack tied down while hoboes sweating val-u-rite perform a drunken rendition of the "Safety Dance" video on it...

-or-

Watch BG.

Hmm. Tough choice there.

Posted by: Jess at February 28, 2009 05:03 AM (kRVIg)

Well geez, Jess, at least the first option you mentioned is at least an option for you; be grateful for that.

But it kind of sucks that those are your only two choices on how to spend your Friday nights. I won't envy you come April.

Posted by: FireHorse at February 28, 2009 05:46 AM (5KNeJ)

Sure looks like Boomer likes the high hard one, eh?

Honestly, the character of the Chief is the biggest dupe and lackey on the show. His only storyline role is to get played or betrayed by various women.

Posted by: Trump at February 28, 2009 06:41 AM (hK2Ya)

69 My toaster is broken. You have to hold the thingy down to make it work. It likes it rough.

Posted by: Ktnxbai at February 28, 2009 07:12 AM (MU8FI)

70 His only storyline role is to get played or betrayed by various women.

Story of my fucking life.

Posted by: Ktnxbai at February 28, 2009 07:20 AM (MU8FI)

"but hey Baltar has a bastard."

Baltar only thought it was named after him and he was named for his father coincidentally named gaius. there was never any paternity hinted at.

baltar's storyline has been uninteresting for a very long time. they should have killed him off.

I feel like the writers already have their paycheck for this season and when they're not out spending on whatever they please, they show up for 5 minutes and hash out the script for each show (or perhaps the whole season.)

looking to be a weak finish.

Posted by: heinricho at February 28, 2009 10:51 AM (wBNH7)

72 We're All Cylons Now!

Posted by: Newsweek Editor at February 28, 2009 03:56 PM (iafWn)

73 His only storyline role is to get played or betrayed by various women.

I think there's some significance to this wrt the other "final cylon" that what's-her-face said he was married to, which happens to be the one who killed the other chick. They're all assholes, though, so it ought to be satisfying when they betray each other.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 28, 2009 06:41 PM (EtTEh)

74 OH! I just figured out what the new BSG reminds me of: Big O. It has lost history, hidden memories, robot-human memory crossover, the Angel character's scars mirroring the robot's, cyclical (or simulated) events, and the weird creator/architect bit in relation to his creation (tomatoes in Big O).

Posted by: Anonymous at March 01, 2009 03:00 AM (EtTEh)

It's on Friday nights? Hm. Who knew?

'splains the vast viewership.

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Posted by: aaabs at March 01, 2009 03:28 AM (6+R+o)

77 It sounds as if you are writing about *two* Fridays ago, or am I missing something myself?

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Posted by: remy hair at March 01, 2009 04:55 PM (poHFL)

79 #79
It appears they recap the previous episode as a foundation for discussion about the current one. Or something. Yes, it confuses the shit out of me, too.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 01, 2009 07:44 PM (EtTEh)

80 Posted by: Anonymous at March 01, 2009 08:00 AM (EtTEh)

Yeah, but Big O was actually entertaining and managed to tell (most) of its story in 13 episodes instead of making shit up over four seasons.

Posted by: fiatboomer at March 02, 2009 07:23 PM (lOfbh)

81 What's with the Chief? Every woman in his life is fucking terrible and assuming he started with Tory they get immensely uglier every time he gets a new one. I also think he requires that his new girl kills the old one.

Let's review:

1) Boomer. Nasty, manipulative bitch. Stupid Asian face with horrible expressions, basically ugly all the time, probably has a gray vag. She needs to be killed again (probably by Tory so she meets the qualifications to date the chief again), and I'm looking damn forward to seeing it. Look, let me reiterate. This bitch is ugly whenever she is making any sort of facial expression and her sex-face is probably the worst.

2) Cally. Unbearable bitch. Chief described her best when he was talking to Adm. Adama in the bar after she got spit out the airlock (I was hoping she'd die the first time that happened). Uglier than even Boomer, possibly the ugliest woman under 40 in this series. Lied about the baby. Wish we'd get to see Chief beat the snot out of her again.

3) Tory. Once dated the Chief, so obviously she's a retarded bitch. This time though, she's actually somewhat attractive and they're bound to hook up before this series is over. I've got the feeling every girlfriend Chief has has killed his ex. Anyway, she's consistently proven to be a two-timing Cylon bitch who goes against the grain on every plan the Five come up with. She too will dick him over.

Who is his baby's real father, BTW? I missed that last 15 minutes of that episode.

Also, this episode was decent (the piano thing was AWESOME) and Tigh is still the baddest motha in the fleet. Only thing is now Helo is the straightest since Ellen basically told everyone he was gay for Adama. But he still has the most badass expressions, voice, and one-liners.

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