January 30, 2007

K-Lo Jumps Off The Romney Horse, Rides The Rudy Pony
— Ace

Well, not quite. But she's getting there.

A friend of mine was at a fundraiser for Rudy Giuliani in Los Angeles last night. His walkaway thought: “[Rudy] might have a tough time in the primary but he will crush in the general.”

Said friend says of last night: “I have to tell you the man is very impressive. When he talks about the war on terror he does so more clearly than anyone I have heard including the President. He doesn't bash the President ever and this was LA where he could really get away with it.”

Rudy did an immigration bit that was “to the right of everyone else except maybe Tancredo. He talked about immigration in terms of national security. He said we needed to revamp our entire system so that we can get good people. He also said that if the twelve million already here expected to get any type of citizenship they would have to prove that they could read, write, and speak English.”

Okay, well, that's nice enough. But is there some way he can convince the Republican right he won't undermine their social conservativism, even while not completely repudiating his famous social liberalism?

There just might be:

A reader points out this Rudy Giuliani quote from November 5, 2006: "Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Alito are models of what judges should be in this country."

Posted by: Ace at 12:42 PM | Comments (187)
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Liberal Faith-Based Initiative Fails; Anti-Missile Defense Test A Success
— Ace

"Inconceivable!" said Democratic spokesman Vizzini.

Ynigo Montoya, Professor Emeritus of the Department of Vengeance at MIT, begged to differ.

Within a year, the U.S. missile defense system should be able to guard against enemy attacks, while testing new technologies, the deputy director of the U.S. Missile Defense Agency said on Monday.

The United States activated the ground-based system last summer when North Korea launched one long-range and six short-range missiles.

O'Reilly said there would be no formal announcement that the system was operational. He predicted the capability to defend against enemy missiles and to continue testing and development work would be achieved within a year.

"It's just a matter of maturation," he told reporters after a speech hosted by the George C. Marshall Institute, a public policy group.

O'Reilly said work by North Korea and Iran on long-range ballistic missiles underscored the need for a viable U.S. missile defense system.

...

O'Reilly said the missile defense system, which includes sea-based and ground-based interceptors, and powerful X-Band radar systems, achieved success in 14 of 15 flight tests.

Democratic spokesman Vizinni immediately objected that these tests "proved nothing," as the tests were "set-ups" in which the ABM system engineers "knew where the incoming missiles were." "In these tests, the ABM technicians used radar and supercomputer targeting systems to detect and aim at the SCUDs. I mean, come on, how fair is that? It's just inconceivable that we could possibly hit a missile with another missile!"

Professor Montoya, who's just finished an 800 word monograph on Bonetti's Defense, continued to dispute that characterization:

...

Through the end of 2007, the program will focus on protecting the United States from threats from the Middle East and North Korea, expanding coverage to U.S. allies and boosting protection against shorter-range threats.

In 2008 and beyond, there would be increased focus on countering unconventional attacks and increasing the U.S. inventory of interceptors and sensors, O'Reilly said.

Video via HotAir.

I've never gotten this theological certainty that it was "utterly, entirely, and in all other ways inconceivable" that a missile could be used to knock down another missile. As is often the case with liberals, it seemed fundamentally dishonest: They were claiming it couldn't be done (as if it were theoretically impossible, violating the Uncertainty Principle or something) when they really meant it shouldn't be done.

Well, it can be done. Eat it.

Posted by: Ace at 12:35 PM | Comments (39)
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Vaginas Cause Brain Damage
— Ace

Not exactly news, I guess. But it's a slow day.

Oh, wait-- the story is a little different than I first thought. Vaginal births may cause brain bleeding.

About a quarter of babies born in vaginal deliveries had a small amount of bleeding in their brains, while none delivered by Caesarean section did, according to a study published Tuesday.

But the researchers at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine in Chapel Hill said it was premature to view their surprising findings as an endorsement of C-sections.

They said the findings suggest brain bleeding in some newborns has been commonplace in vaginal deliveries throughout history, but is being detected now only because of highly sophisticated imaging technology.

Cthuluesque appearance + memories of vagina-induced brain bleeding as newborn = pretty decent reason I'm just scared of these damn things. Even having sex at all is, for me, an act of physical courage of a non-Hegelian variety.


Posted by: Ace at 11:07 AM | Comments (36)
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EU Considers Continent-Wide Smoking Ban
— Ace

...in public places.

These people just don't have any meaning in their lives unless they're bullying and bossing others around.

Wasn't this all supposed to be about economic integration and joint military planning and suchlike?

How quickly bureaufascists jump to impose their beliefs on others, when given a chance.

Lesson: Don't give them the chance.

Posted by: Ace at 11:04 AM | Comments (39)
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Star-Tribune's No-Account Nick Coleman: No One Would Ever Call Me A Liberal
— Ace

Pretty funny stuff. Powerline reports on the Minneapolis Star-Tribune's staff's seething over the hiring of a conservative opinion writer to add balance. Apart from general cluelessness and nastiness, there's this gem:

Coleman (full disclosure: he is a longtime friend of mine) has been a Twin Cities columnist for more than thirty years. He, and nearly all of the other Star Tribune staffers with whom I spoke, have no objection to adding new voices to the paper—even an unabashed conservative voice. His problem is placing Kersten on the metro pages in an attempt to create a “balance” and respond to the regular accusations of liberal bias hurled at him and fellow columnist Doug Grow. “You find the last time some Democratic politician or liberal blogger referred to me as, ‘our good friend, Nick Coleman.’ It’s never happened. They all hate my guts, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

In fact, there is no end of Star Tribune readers who agree with the description of Grow and Coleman as “liberals.”

Not sure what can explain this level of self-delusion. I've quoted his scary-important burblings before. You make the call.

Liberals tend to fall into two categories, and sometimes both.

"I'm Too Complex For Categorization And Labels" Liberals. These liberals are so enamored of their amazing complex and unpredictably maverick minds they simply will not countenance the suggestion their mode of thinking, or emoting, falls into rather common patters generally associated with left-liberalism. They fetishize their one or two departures from the liberal herdthink consensus ("But I'm not opposed to private social security accounts!"), as if having a pair of weakly heterodox positions is enough to auto-excommunicate them from the Holy Mother Church.

Got news for ya: This isn't called being "so complex as to defy categorization." It's called, simply, "being human."

The irony here is that this argument is so self-defeating-- they think they're not liberals because they imagine that conservatives are so robotically Borg-minded as to not have any heterodoxies of their own. Thus demonstrating that not only are they liberal, they're so goddamned liberal they've never even spoken to a single conservative.

"I Do Not Believe In 'Liberalism,' I Just Believe In 'Common Sense'" Liberals. Here a liberal simply takes what is, demonstrably, according to every poll and every election since 1980, a left-of-center politics and simply redefines it as "centrist." Only people to their far left are "liberals" (but they generally are never so impolite as to call them such).

If they're in "the center," that makes the majority of the country what, praytell? Well, they're "outside the mainstream," and ought not be included in the survey, as their opinions are so bizarre and hateful as to be not be worthy of consideration.

Again, the belief is self-defeating -- or self-mocking -- in its implicit claim that one can't be defined as "liberal" because anything further to the right is simply inhuman. There is no "liberalism" at all, for their is no worthy opposite by which to contrast it.

And of course many liberals subscribe to both of these beliefs at once, in which case they take pride in the labyrinthine complexities of their fiercely independent minds while they simultaneously comfort themselves as being believers in the "common-sense centrist consensus mainstream position that everyone knows is correct."

Good stuff. They keep us laughing, and that's something, I guess.

Posted by: Ace at 10:12 AM | Comments (18)
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Amusing
— Ace

If weddings had more choreographed 80's pop numbers, I might not be so annoyed by them.

Something tells me, though, that this is now going to become ubiquitious at weddings. And it will make them simply insufferable.

Thanks to whomever Andrew Sullivan lifted this from.

Posted by: Ace at 09:33 AM | Comments (23)
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Troops In Iraq Sound Off Against Critics
— Ace

Posted by: Ace at 09:21 AM | Comments (16)
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Again: Clemson MLK Party Features Black Face, Padded "Booties," Malt Liquor
— Ace

Video, with pictures, which of course circulated on Facebook etc. Smart.

A print account.

Ranneice McDonald, another Clemson student, said she saw nothing funny about it.

"People painted themselves black. Put fake butts inside their pants to signify the big booty black-girl thing. Fake gold teeth in their mouths caps and jerseys -- depicted us as wearing such things as that are disgusting to me. It's disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach," McDonald said.

"I was hurt that there were people who think that it's OK," she said.

Thanks to Wuzzadem.

Posted by: Ace at 09:08 AM | Comments (71)
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The Cautious, Calculated Courage of Chuck Hegel
— Ace

By which we mean "having the courage of the liberal MSM's convictions."

Why, exactly, is Sen. Chuck Hagel showing "courage" in conspicuously denouncing the Iraq War now that virtually the entire American establishment has reached that same conclusion--now that Hagel is virtually assured of getting hero treatment from Brian Williams and Tim Russert and long favorable profiles in the newsweeklies?

Posted by: Ace at 08:44 AM | Comments (15)
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Open Thread
— Ace

If you want. Is there any damn news?

Posted by: Ace at 08:41 AM | Comments (38)
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Shock: Harry Potter Heartbreaker Naked In Live Sex Scene
— Ace

17295-emma-watson-screensaver.jpg
Pictured: Emma "Hermione" Watson, who has
worked with the dude who gets naked.



So close. So close. To think we almost got a glimpse of Ron Weasley's "pocket familiar"...

Posted by: Ace at 08:16 AM | Comments (35)
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Letter From A U.S. Soldier
— LauraW.

Reposted from last Friday just in case anyone missed it before the weekend.

This is a personal letter that was read aloud on the air by radio talk show host Jim Vicevich recently.

He is graciously allowing it to be reprinted here, with permission from the author.
I've snipped some details in order to help protect this soldier's privacy.

Good morning,
I know that all in the area are awaking today to a bit of winter weather. I hope that it is as beautiful as I remember and that each of you takes a few moments to savor that beauty before your journey began today.

I have been out of communications for a few days as some of you know. The SOP for us in the event of a loss is to institute a communications blackout. This is to avoid improper information from leaking outside to the world before soldiers love ones are notified. That has now occurred and our blackout has been lifted.
We lost an aircraft on Saturday and more importantly, we lost four soldiers (2 pilots and 2 crew). It was shot out of the sky and though I cannot share much detail with you, I can tell you that the crew aboard and those in their sister ships are true heroes. The fought for control and for their very lives until the last moment when the enemy took all of it away from them, their families and us. I can also tell you that those responsible for this act no longer walk the earth.

How am I? I am ok. "I am fine."
I am humbled and I am honored. I was in the Ops center in the battle to save our soldiers, and later in the battle to recover their remains. The enemy struck those responding with multiple IEDs and attempted to take out comrades away from us I am sure for PR purposes. Those that did this are no longer. Obviously as you have not seen something obscene in the news they did not succeed.

There are many details that I cannot share, someday when I get home we can talk about if you wish, but I ask you accept what I can tell you for now.
One of the men killed worked closely with me here, his love was for family and for flying. He was an exceptional soldier, father and human being. They all were.
I was able to personally ensure that our men and women from this crash were taken care of. I escorted them onto the C-17 transport, their caskets draped in the flag of the country we love so much for the long trip home to their families. They left with honor and dignity as they should.

Today the mission continues, it never stops. We have service scheduled in about an hour which I know will be very difficult to attend, but necessary so that we can honor them and begin to heal. The mission is first, for the defense of our country, for you and for ourselves we will persevere.

Know this, our soldiers will not quit. We win every battle, we hold any piece of ground that we want to take.
Do not listen to those in Washington who influence events by dishonesty, manipulation and greed. Listen to your hearts and know that America is a winner. We will not accept defeat.
Don't be fooled by the news media who so dishonorably portrays one side of the story for gain and sensationalism. We are not losing, we are not running, the enemy is reeling and is scared.
[emphasis mine]

I thank you for your support. Hold those who are dear to you closely, and live your lives today.
I ask that you all look out for my family. Its easy for folks who are busy to forget, but this family is not whole and will not be for several more months. I know that they wonder every day what is happening here and fear for the worst.

And let me tack on this message from Mr. Vicevich:

What I can also tell you is, and this is from the soldiers there ... and I am quoting ... "I tell you, we are kicking ass here. Its good to be on the offensive!"

They want that known!

Noted, kind sir.

There's really not much to 'blog' here, or much to add.
The men and women of the United States Armed Forces are filled with a deadly resolve today.
Get out of their way, MSM.

Posted by: LauraW. at 06:18 AM | Comments (8)
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January 29, 2007

More Classic Cinema: Lt. Horatio Caine And His Partner, The Sunglasses Of Justice
— Ace

At 2:38 (1:32 on the backwards timer), by the way, is the overhead-to-forward shot after his infamous "Hate should concern us all" line. I think. I can't be sure. As you can see from this clip, the auteur Caruso likes to re-use great bits over and over again.

Posted by: Ace at 08:32 PM | Comments (25)
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Classic Cinema
— Ace

Battle of the Mounds, baby. Containing "The Prayer."

Just Askin': What the hell was the point of those spikes? To break gently at the slightest pressure? They seem less like obstacles and more like a manner of softly breaking an opponent's fall.

But I suppose we shouldn't question greatness too closely. Otherwise, we might get to asking what the hell is the point of the big reinforced-bus gate to the Oil Pumping Town in Road Warrior, given that the rest of the town has no walls around it whatsoever.


Posted by: Ace at 07:44 PM | Comments (29)
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LAT Contributor: 9/11 No Big Shakes; Americans Are Just Overreacting
— Ace

He really writes that. Here's the headline-- I ain't makin' this up, folks.

Was 9/11 really that bad?

The attacks were a horrible act of mass murder, but history says we're overreacting.

And he's the moderate on the left-- he believes that we should have gone to war with Japan over Pearl Harbor, though apparently 9/11 didn't rise to that level. A fellow lefty he criticizes makes the case that we should have simply tried containment on the Japanese Empire.

So, there you go. We all overreacted to 9/11. 3000 murders in an hour should have been as rain off a duck's back.


Bonus! Very centrist, moderate, fair-and-balanced Chris Hedges (formerly of the NYT and, I do believe, formerly of an inappropriate and fulsomely anti-American tirade at a college graduation) has decided that your freedom of speech and religion rights are now too dangerous for the nation to any longer countenance.

His article making the case, more or less, for concentration camps for those on the right is titled "American Fascists."

How terribly fitting.

Posted by: Ace at 07:09 PM | Comments (78)
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Robotic Parking Garage Comes To NYC
— Ace

On the plus side, the auto-auto-parking system will pack 67 cars into the space that would otherwise fit only 24, and the lack of human employees may bring prices down.

On the down side, the entire complex has a buitl-in programming glitch that will cause it to begin murdering human beings and welding peices of their bodies into necro-mechanical Zombots.

Then again, I'm a glass-is-half-full kind of guy. So I'm psyched.

Posted by: Ace at 07:04 PM | Comments (12)
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Chris Matthews Drools Over Cheney-Plame Conspiracy Theory -- Literally
— Ace

Dang, by the end of the clip he looks like he's just taken the money shot in a gay sex porn with the Invisible Man.

Posted by: Ace at 06:02 PM | Comments (15)
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A Truly Helpful Periodical: The Ace of Spades Women's Magazine, Written By Men
— Ace

Hey, it's a premise, and I want to play World of Warcraft. But how sad is it that women are supposedly learning about men from other women and gay dudes?

How To Spice Up Your Love Life With Tango Lessons. Yeah. That's what your man wants to do.

So here's three proposals from steve_in_hb:

"Realizing That Every Time Your Feelings Are Bruised By Somebody It Isn't A Fucking Disaster"

"Every Thought Doesn't Have to Be Expressed"

"Letting Your Man Decompress From a Hectic Day Before Barraging Him WIth Every Detail of Your Day"

Couple from me:

"Do You Really Want To Do This Gay Shit With Me, Or Are You Just Being Nice?:" Learning To Accept Victory Without Demanding Your Man Join In Celebrating His Own Emasculation"

"It's Your Period, Not Our Period: Menstruation Is Not A Freakin' Joint Checking Account"

"Amusing Anecodote? Or Just A Trivial Non-Event That Hardly Requires A Recounting?: A Beginner's Guide"

Women can fire back too if they like.


Laughed Out Loud at this one from Planet Moron:

The Words That Come Out Of His Mouth: The Secret Source Of What A Man Is Really Trying To Tell You!

Posted by: Ace at 02:49 PM | Comments (604)
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Scientist Develops Donuts With Da Coffee Already Right In That Shit
— Ace

Caffeinated donuts.

Because, really, you don't want to waste any of those precious donut-calories on useless high-impact dunking movements.

This just in: The tangent universe will end in three days twenty-two hours and nine minutes.

And good riddance.

Thanks to Locusts & Honey, who investigates local zombie-attack preparedness, and finds it sadly wanting.


I'm A Friggin' Genius: Like John Lennon said, "I don't understand how people have avoided discovering me yet."

I can't have donuts. Atkins and all that. But man, does coffee taste that much better with donut-particles floating around it in.

So: Coffee that already tastes like donuts. Say, glazed chocolate ones. No carbs. Just that sweet, sweet well-dunked flavor.

Million dollar idea. It's yours for the development. Just send me a crate of the stuff.

Posted by: Ace at 02:22 PM | Comments (8)
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Nuen und Nuenzig Jude-Balloon
— Ace

Ich denk' auf Juden und lassen fliegen...

Lebanese Muslims panic at a strange invasion of colorful balloons bearing frightening Jew-scrabblings. Some Muslims complain of sickness due to the disease/chem weapons the balloons undoubtedly carry. Locals were actually warned against touching the sinister Hebe-Orbs.

Yeah. The secret Yid-Code has been translated. "Happy Birthday" and "For Silvi, with all my heart."

They hate us for our colorful party decorations.

The Jew. Is Using. Helium-filled party balloons. As muscle. And you are left. Defenseless.

origin3.gif

rabbi-zucker.gif
...Rabbi?

Okay, so he didn't become a rabbi. But that would have been plenty scary too.

Tell you one thing -- fuckin' bats don't control the banking system, now do they?


Batman pic lifted from Jay Pinkerton, who writes for Cracked. And does a lot of comic-book parodies.

Posted by: Ace at 01:40 PM | Comments (21)
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