January 31, 2007

That Weird Video Explained
— Ace

Viral ad? Maybe something like that. Someone tips that this goon is part of "Real Social Dynamics," a "date-coaching" cult that's supposed to get you laid.

Thus, the big finale about "Loving the Game." He's selling himself as an RSD success story.

I imagine those other cryptic acronyms like "AFC" have some meaning within the Church of Chooch as well.

That Crap Explained: Yeah, "Loverboy" is one of the "top" coaches at RSD. This article explains the weird acronyms and slang.

Like, "Sarging" is picking up women. PUA is "Pick-Up Artist."

And "AFC" is "Average Frustrated Chump," i.e., anyone who's not a PUA.

The link above mentions the "anti-slut defense," which is woman's "defense" against sleeping with you when she really wants to. The "PUA's" have all sorts of strategies to defeat the anti-slut defense.

Yeah.

It's called "alcohol."

That'll be $2000, please pay the cashier as you pick up your PUA t-shirt.

Posted by: Ace at 03:37 PM | Comments (79)
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WaPo Blogger: Soldiers Are Lucky We "Indulge" Them For Their Rapes And Murders, And Be Happy We Don't Spit On Them
— Ace

And yes, he then rounds it off by snarking:

But it is the United States and instead this NBC report is just an ugly reminder of the price we pay for a mercenary - oops sorry, volunteer - force that thinks it is doing the dirty work.

The big problem with kicking this little sissy's ass is that it would be too goddamned easy.

Did I say "problem"? I meant "bonus."

Yes, it's a good thing that the WaPo and other media outlets don't hire, say, me as a blogger. I mean, it's not like I know how to do it. Better to hire some little pinko tosser who knows how to pull in literally dozens of eyeballs.

And I use lots of spicy language and stuff -- I mean, you can't have that sort of that sort of trash bringing disrepute on your organization, right? I might actually write something excessive and controversial.


Bonus Material: (Like how I did that?)

Who'd've imagined he'd look something like this?

Or (badly) write agitprop like this?

I can imagine some post-9/11 moment, when the American people say enough already with the wars against terrorism and those in the national security establishment feel these same frustrations. In my little parable, those in leadership positions shake their heads that the people don't get it, that they don't understand that the threat from terrorism, while difficult to defeat, demands commitment and sacrifice and is very real because it is so shadowy, that the very survival of the United States is at stake. Those Hoover's and Nixon's will use these kids in uniform as their soldiers. If I weren't the United States, I'd say the story end with a military coup where those in the know, and those with fire in their bellies, save the nation from the people.

Now, it's hard to tell because his thoughts are incoherent and his syntax is, let us say, hypermodern (not like those are important when it comes to writing anyhow), but I do think this gibbering little chimp is posting fantasias about armed insurrections against the legal, democratic government of the US, no?

No: Allah explains that what he's suggesting is that the military is now so divorced from public opinion it will feel the need to state a military coup against the government, in order to save the people from their own non-troop-supporting ways.

Slightly less controversial -- but not really. So he's not calling for a revolution, he's merely saying our troops and generals are inclined to stage an auto-gulpe. (I should note that I'm not sure I spelled that right, or if it's actually the right word, but I just couldn't write "coup" again.)

I'll accept that the soldiers, in order to soldier on, have to believe that they are manning the parapet, and that's where their frustrations come in. I'll accept as well that they are young and naïve and are frustrated with their own lack of progress and the never changing situation in Iraq. Cut off from society and constantly told that everyone supports them, no wonder the debate back home confuses them.

Well, one thing the soldiers are likely confused by is this entire "essay," because the shithead really, honestly cannot write coherently.

But he's expressing his rage, and, I suppose, that's all that counts for the left.

Who did he sleep with to get this gig? And can I get his number?


Not Just A Blogger! Apparently he's their "national security reporter."

Ah.

Well, I sit corrected.

I'm sure he brings this level of dispassionate, agenda-free professionalism to his expert reporting work as well.


Hugh Hewitt On Willaim Arkin: A Greenpeace activist (i.e., professional leftist), you'll be shocked to discover.

Dr. Rock wants to take this little tosser on a few patrols in Iraq.

I think that's inadvisable. He's too fat to easily carry and the smell of defecation would get pretty bad in the Iraqi sun.

Posted by: Ace at 03:10 PM | Comments (114)
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Breaking: Stuart Smalley Announces He's Smart Enough, He's Good Enough, And Doggonit, He's Running For Senate
— Ace

Don't be too worried; it took this scary-talent 20 years of working at SNL just be elected a "featured player" there.

Comedian and radio talk show host Al Franken has begun calling Democratic members of Congress and prominent DFLers to tell them he will definitely challenge Republican Sen. Norm Coleman in 2008, the Star Tribune has learned.

...

The Star Tribune confirmed today that Franken made calls to at least two members of the Minnesota congressional delegation in Washington to break the news. The sources spoke on the condition of anonymity, not wanting to pre-empt Franken's announcement.

"From his voice to my ears, he's running," said one House member, who relayed the remark via his press secretary.

...


Franken, who grew up in St. Louis Park, achieved fame in New York as a comedy writer for NBC-TV's "Saturday Night Live"...

Ummm... "fame"? Sad, but appropriate, they've forgotten he actually was a cast member for couple of years.

Coleman has had little to say about Franken, but in an interview last year he said he expected him to be "a very strong voice for the far left" and a strong fundraiser. Republicans will try to exploit Franken's ties to Hollywood: Contributors to his political action committee included Barbra Streisand, Phil Donahue, Larry Hagman and Norman Lear from the entertainment industry, former Minnesota Gov. Wendell Anderson and Minneapolis attorney Sam Kaplan.

That list of contributors prompted Coleman to say that Franken "obviously has a sense of humor" by calling his PAC Midwest Values.

It wasn't very obvious to Lorne Michaels, sadly.

One good thing about running for office: You can''t get cancelled for at least a year or so. Unlike, say, LateLine.

I dwell on his professional failures because 1, it's easy, but 2, it partly explains the man's bitterness and rage. He's watched class after class and cohort after cohort of SNL co-workers go on to have huge careers and become big honking movie stars, and yet he was the guy who... just kept working as a writer at SNL. With a bunch of straight-outta-Harvard-Lampoon 21-year-olds who were getting their sketches on a lot more frequently than he managed.

He was a bitter, vicious little jerkoff when he was 21. Imagine how that bitterness grew as he saw most of his contemporaries make it big, or at least land a movie here or there, while an endless parade of fresh-faced kids came in to do his job better than he could.

Well, perhaps he's finally found his niche. As they say, politics is just show business for ugly people.


Thanks to JackM.

Posted by: Ace at 02:53 PM | Comments (45)
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What The Hell Is This?
— Ace

Content warning towards the end.

I started off feeling bad for this guy. I finished up wanting to beat his face in with a cinderblock.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 01:42 PM | Comments (45)
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The Bad News is You Are Schizophrenic...
— Jack M.

the Good News is that neither of your personalities will get prostate cancer.

In all five studies, the prostate cancer rates for schizophrenia patients were lower than expected in the general population. The overall rate of cancer at other body sites varied among the studies.

Possible explanations for the decreased rate of prostate cancer include the effect of antipsychotic drugs (either by protecting against cancer or by decreasing testosterone, or both), and genetic factors, Torrey suggests.

The lesson here? Learn to welcome the voices in your head. They may be the only thing standing between you and surgically induced impotence.

Science. Ain't it great?

Posted by: Jack M. at 12:53 PM | Comments (23)
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Boston Shut Down Due To Idiotic Guerilla-Marketing Campaign For Aqua Teen Hunger Force
— Ace

I'm less than sympathetic to the ATHF guys, because I don't find the show funny and am tired of people insisting that it is.

Numerous circuit-board type devices, representing an ATHF character, were found around the city, hanging below overpasses and the like. At least one was detonated.

Gridlock all over.

Thanks, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Posted by: Ace at 12:43 PM | Comments (95)
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Joe Biden Confuses Barack Obama For Geico Cavemen
— Ace

Biden's all impressed with Obama because, it seems, he uses soap.

I'm not sure I care about this story, but everyone else seems to, and I guess it's kind of fun to knock Joe Biden, who, ummm, is "running for President," he says, in much the same way this is a "very smart military blog."

P'Shop: El Capitan already made the Geico connection:

BidenCaveman.jpg


Obama Messiah Watch: The media and Democratic Party (but I repeat myself), being simultaneously stupid, out-of-control true-believer partisans, and pretty racist, is now just praising Barack Obama for crap that anyone can do. Slate's generally-useless Tim Noah has started the Obama Messiah Watch to document this phenomenon. First entry? Lavishing praise upon Obama for actually managing to take coherent notes as a student:

In [political science professor Roger] Boesche's European politics class, [classmate Ken] Sulzer said he was impressed at how few notes [italics Noah's] Obama took. "Where I had five pages, Barry had probably a paragraph of the pithiest, tightest prose you'd ever see. … It was very short, very sweet. Obviously somebody almost Clintonesque in being able to sum a whole lot of concepts and place them into a succinct written style."

And now Joe Biden is praising Obama's Christ-like perserverence in managing to shower five or six times a week.

Good Lord.

Coming Soon: Hillary! praises Obama's "moderation" in "limiting himself to just three or four carjackings per year."

Posted by: Ace at 11:52 AM | Comments (85)
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Cowbell: Economy Grows 3.5% In 3rd Q, Easily Besting Expectations
— Ace

Hoovermerica:

The economy snapped out of a sluggish spell and grew at a faster-than- expected 3.5 percent pace in the final quarter of last year as consumers ratcheted up spending despite a painful housing slump.

The fresh snapshot of business activity, released by the Commerce Department Wednesday, underscored the resilience of the economy; it has managed to keep on moving despite the ill effects of the residential real-estate bust.

The economy's performance in the October-to-December quarter, which followed two quarters of rather listless activity, exceeded analysts' forecasts for a 3 percent growth rate.

The economy opened 2006 on a strong note, growing at a 5.6 percent pace, the fastest spurt in 2 1/2 years. But it lost steam during the spring and late summer. It grew at a 2.6 percent pace in the second quarter and then a weaker 2 percent pace in the third quarter. The fourth-quarter's rebound ended the year on a positive note.

For all of 2006, the gross domestic product (GDP) increased by 3.4 percent, an improvement from a 3.2 percent showing in 2005.

That's even more impressive considering the economy was hit by the housing slump. Investment in home building for all of last year was slashed by 4.2 percent, the most in 15 years.

GDP measures the value of all goods and services produced within the United States and is the best barometer of the country's economic standing.

President Bush, who had a trip to New York scheduled Wednesday to discuss the economy, was certain to point to the GDP figures as evidence that his policies are working and benefiting most Americans. But Democrats, now in control of Congress for the first time in a dozen years, counter that economic inequality is widening and that it's harder for America's middle class to get ahead.

With the Fed
facing a strongly rebounding economy" but leaving interest rates alone,
the Dow looks on its way to setting a new record:

Has anyone kind of noticed the economy's been growing steadily and nicely since the Clinton-Gore recession of late 2000?

Maybe an easy-to-read picture will help our subretarded media understand:


GDPchart.jpg

Hmm... how does a very smart military blog mark this news?


Click on the pic for Blaster's Cowbell Theme

Posted by: Ace at 11:36 AM | Comments (73)
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NYC Protest On Behalf Of Imprisoned Egyptian Blogger At 3:30
— Ace

Half an hour from now, at 2nd & 58th.

Posted by: Ace at 11:04 AM | Comments (4)
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John Travolta's Personal Airport
— Ace

Instapundit links this as a knock on a celebrity for filling our air with LETHAL CARBON DIOXIDE. I guess it is that, but Travolta's kept his mouth shut on politics, right?

Whatever. It's cool. The guy wanted to be a pilot, so he became a licensed commercial pilot. And then he added a six-man crew to his own private airline.

And apparently he just flies everywhere. Like, the local WaWa. He just takes the 707 to WaWa when he wants a slushee.

Posted by: Ace at 11:01 AM | Comments (27)
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British Phony Up Evidence Against Nine Innocent Muslims To Influence Results of 2006 Elections
— Ace

Good news, really. It means the Brits have finally fixed that time machine they inherited from a H.G. Wells estate sale.

VIL Muslim terrorists were to kidnap a British soldier on UK streets and force him to plead with Tony Blair for his life in return for a pull-out of troops from Iraq, The Sun can reveal.

The soldier would have been filmed begging the PM to withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan in a sick propaganda stunt.

Army sources said the target was a British Muslim soldier in his 20s.

He would eventually be beheaded on film in a sick mirror of the torture and savage killing of British hostage Ken Bigley if Mr Blair refused.

Senior security sources say the plot would have put the most unbearable blackmail pressure on the Premier to act…

The fact that the arrests were made in Birmingham could suggest that soldiers recovering from wounds in military hospitals there might have been targeted.

Lots more, of course, from Allah, but you already knew that.

Greg Tinti notes that Andrew Sullivan -- famous for claiming the entire SkyBomb plot was a political stunt cooked up by Bush and Blair to protect Rick Santorum's Senate seat -- is now willing to admit, now that the Terrorist Santorum has been smoked out of his cave, that the bombing plot was real:

Recall that the alleged plot to bring down several airplanes over the Atlantic was also exposed because the suspects had been under intense surveillance for months. The awful news is that these fanatics exist; the less-awful news is that their neighbors and friends obviously have an eye on them, and the police are on the case.

That's a link to Tinti quoting Sullivan, not Sullivan, so you can click without any heart-ache.

Tinti wants to know when Sullivan will apologize to Karol of Alarming News for calling her "deranged" for her absurd belief that the SkyBomb plot was real.

Bonus: Maybe Sullivan's wildly-veering, nearly psychadelic take on the world can be explained by his self-proclaimed enthusiasm for magic mushrooms and the "mystical experiences" they provide.

Posted by: Ace at 10:33 AM | Comments (21)
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"We Won In Vietnam:" Don't Read Much Into It, Says Tony Blankley
— Ace

I'm just updating a story I broke. There is, I insist, no mercenary agenda at work here.

The very smart military blog, Ace of Spades HQ, speculated yesterday that Tony Snow might have been launching a trial balloon for an Iraq exit strategy rhetoric when he quoted President Bush's statement that, taking the long view, we won the war in Vietnam because, 30 years on, it is trending capitalist and has become a pro-American Pacific Tiger.

As a former press secretary, I am inclined not to read deep secret messages into Tony Snow's comments. The president made an arresting statement, and his press secretary commented favorably on it. That is what press secretaries tend to do for a living.

But I (along with Ace of Spades, Mickey Kaus's blog and I assume many others) could not help but hear Tony Snow's elaborations in the context of Mr. Bush's less than ferocious State of the Union phrases that "it is still within our powers to shape the outcome of this battle," and we should at least "turn events toward victory."

I don't know about "military blog." Or about "very smart." I concede this blog is named Ace of Spades, though.

Half a year ago the JPost reported I was a "moron." So, this is progress, I guess.

Incidentally, though Andrew Sullivan thinks my blinkers have come off (more progress, but consider the source), my post was, despite his selective editing, about what I perceived as a preview of of emergency spin, should it become necessary. I was criticizing the spin, mainly, though I was also wondering if this is the best Bush now sees as possible -- "victory" after 30 years. I don't really think it's the best outcome he imagines possible; I think it's more his attempt to convince himself he will be vindicated in the long term even if thoroughly repudiated in the short term.

For what it's worth, I have a bit more hope about Iraq than I've had in some time. And part of that due to a light at the end of the tunnel, of one color or another: I, like most of the remaining supporters of the war, see the surge, and the more aggressive RoE and policy towards Iranian agents, as the last, best hope for Iraq, and if it fails, we can say that America did the most that it could be reasonably expected to do.

If it succeeds -- even better.

But one way or another, the hot phase of the Iraq war will be winding down soon, at least as far as America's troops are concerned. It's just not realistic to imagine Bush can fight the war in the face of increasingly negative public opinion if there is not some tangible progress in the country over the next four to six months. And if the Iraqis can't get their act together over that timeframe, even with the American-withdrawal warning lights blinking like crazy on the country's dashboard, then I'm not sure they're capable of being helped much more at this point.

Thanks to Village Idiot.

Posted by: Ace at 01:18 AM | Comments (181)
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January 30, 2007

Don't Click
— Ace

Seriously, don't.

I'm warning you.

Don't even go down under the jump.

Stop.

Please stop.

You're... taking me apart.

Dr. Chandra taught me a song, would you like to hear it?

Don't click.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 06:57 PM | Comments (88)
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Imus: O'Reilly A "Son Of A Bitch"
— Ace

...because O'Reilly's newest, and most shameless, promotion is that for every copy of Culture Warrior you buy, he'll send one copy to "the troops" in Iraq in Afghanistan.

Yeah. Not money. Just books he pretty much has lying around anyway.

I saw him mention this sometime last week, and I caught a case of the shivering douchechills that lasted me the whole weekend.

Next: For every copy of Culture Warrior you buy, Bill O'Reilly will send one "No Spin Zone" coffee mug to a pediatric burn victim. So, you know, start ordering --- or do you hate burned children?

Crash and burn. Not an "if" but a "when" at this point.

Quite frankly, the whole FoxNews management seems intent into turning the network into the moronic parody that liberals already believe it is. It's almost like Roger Ailes has turned Manchurian Candidate, and is determined to discredit the idea of a less-liberal news alternative for all eternity.

Posted by: Ace at 06:48 PM | Comments (91)
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Screw It...Jack M. is running for President.
— Jack M.

Jack M. just can't get fired up about any of the folks currently running for the Presidency. (heh, I, I mean "Jack M.", always wondered how that Bob Dole thing would sound if I, ummm, Jack M., did it.)

So you know what? I say, to Hell with all of them on both sides of the aisle. I'm running for President instead.

Why not? If certain losers like Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul can do it, I can just as easily be a certain loser too.

And since you deserve to know my platform, I'll lay it out for you in terms even morons can understand:

Amnesty/Illegal Immigration: Against it.
Building a border wall: For it.
Abortion: Against it.
Gun Control: Against It.
Gay Marriage: Against It.
"Torture": For it.
War on Terror: For It.
Strict Constructionists: For them.
Missile Defense: For It.
Tax Cuts: For Them.
Spending Cuts: For them.
McCain/Feingold: Against It.
Kyoto: Against it.
Chinese Communism: Against It.
Cuban Communism: Against It.
Venezuelan Chavezism: Against It.
Iranian Nukes: Against them.
North Korean Nukes: Against Them.
Islamic Jihadism: Against It.
The Bush Doctrine: For it.
Old Europe: Ignore them.
New Europe: For them.
Nuclear Power: For it.
Putting Reagan on Mount Rushmore: For it.

OK..I just threw that last one in there to really wig some liberals out.

But you never know..if my victory is big enough, I just might consider that a mandate for the Reagan/Rushmore thing.

And no jokes on the word "mandate". I'm against that.

Posted by: Jack M. at 05:03 PM | Comments (149)
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Breaking: Poison-Gas Attack In Ramadi
— Ace

WMD... but the actual chemical weapon payload was a dud. The attack killed 16, however.


EMERGENCY RESPONSE UNIT COMPOUND IN RAMADI ATTACKED BY SVBIED

AR RAMADI, Iraq – Emergency Response Unit personnel, Iraqi Police, and civilians northwest of Ramadi were attacked by a suicide vehicle-born improvised explosive device (SVBIED) early Sunday. Coalition forces responded to the attack to provide immediate medical assistance and evacuate the wounded to medical facilities.

Along with the suicide bomber, 16 people were killed by the attack.

The SVBIED was a dump truck filled with explosives and included a chlorine tank. The truck crashed into the Emergency Response Unit compound and detonated. There are no indications of any casualties caused by the release of chlorine gas.

Thanks to Chuck.


IMPORTANT UPDATE: Breaking news from Observer5 -- if you can believe this, chlorine is a "common chemical" (I had no idea), and therefore this is not a WMD attack.

Just some civilians having fun with pool supplies.

Posted by: Ace at 04:36 PM | Comments (98)
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Trouble In Paradise?
— Ace

And I'd hoped these two kids had a future together.

As is true for many people who are driven by their passions, Sullivan himself is certainly prone to excessive, blinding emotion arising from his own self-righteous certainties. That is a flaw that has led him astray in the past into hysteria-based crusades and rather ignoble accusations against others who expressed certain political views, including anti-war and anti-Bush views which Sullivan himself has now come to embrace.

His admissions of error in that regard, while commendable, are less complete and repentant than one would like. He refers to his "analytical errors in the past few years" -- meaning, principally, his support for the war in Iraq specifically and the Bush presidency generally -- but then attributes those errors to a noble cause: "outrage at the atrocity of September 11."

-- Glenn Greenwald, co-chair with Andrew Sullivan of the Super-Duper Courageous And Really Terribly Brilliant Truth Tellers With Amazing Integrity And Fearlessness of America Club

Sullivan, pimping his stupid ass book yet again, actually uses the subretard Glenn Greenwald's pan as an advertising vehicle.

Must be selling like fuckin' hotcakes, huh?

Think I get get a big link off him if I write that he's a hystrionic narcissist with borderline personality disorder?

You know, the Shrill Shill has been basically implying that anyone who's called him "excitable" or "emotional" is a gay-hater, and of course he's shrieked especially loud when people have noted that his ranting about the "evils of moral certainty" certainly does have the ring of moral certainty about it.

But now SubRetard Greenwald says the same thing, and Sullivan's response is--

I'm grateful for the seriousness and care with which Greenwald has tackled the book's argument, however.

Guess he just had to hear it from a fellow traveller.

Posted by: Ace at 04:27 PM | Comments (17)
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McCain's A Stalwart On Gay Marriage?
— Ace

Giuliani's drag appearance for the NYC Mayor's Inner Circle Press Roast (whatever that is):

Hah, I never saw this before. I thought the drag references were to appearances on SNL. I know he played an Italian grandma once, who just kept waddling around muttering about the pasta fazoul (which was pretty funny), and I think he was in drag on SNL in an opening (can't be sure-- maybe I'm confusing that with this bit).

I dunno. This is going to tank the guy's chance at the presidency?

Next thing you know and they'll be saying Graham Chapman was a homo just because of all that drag-work he did on Monty Python.

Everyone's Got Black Marks...

Perhaps we're so early in the season people are still thinking about their Dream Candidate. As we trudge through this fresh hell, everyone will begin to remember there is no such thing as a Dream Candidate, and get on with selecting from a number of non-ideal candidates each with a range of strengths, weaknesses, and personal failings.

Posted by: Ace at 03:39 PM | Comments (39)
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Rudy the Reaganite
— Ace

I've held off linking this because it's so long it's hard to excerpt. But the City Journal makes a persuasive case for Guiliani, the small-government, personal-accountability free-marketeer:

But in a GOP presidential field in which cultural and religious conservatives may find something to object to in every candidate who could really get nominated (and, more important, elected), Giuliani may be the most conservative candidate on a wide range of issues. Far from being a liberal, he ran New York with a conservative’s priorities: government exists above all to keep people safe in their homes and in the streets, he said, not to redistribute income, run a welfare state, or perform social engineering. The private economy, not government, creates opportunity, he argued; government should just deliver basic services well and then get out of the private sector’s way. He denied that cities and their citizens were victims of vast forces outside their control, and he urged New Yorkers to take personal responsibility for their lives. “Over the last century, millions of people from all over the world have come to New York City,” Giuliani once observed. “They didn’t come here to be taken care of and to be dependent on city government. They came here for the freedom to take care of themselves.” It was that spirit of opportunity and can-do-ism that Giuliani tried to re-instill in New York and that he himself exemplified not only in the hours and weeks after 9/11 but in his heroic and successful effort to bring a dying city back to life.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 01:31 PM | Comments (96)
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Russian Special Forces Used Poisoned Spy's Portrait As A Target
— Ace

Not dispositive, but fairly suggestive, no?

The head of a center that trains security personnel and held a competition for Russian special forces confirmed Tuesday that it has used shooting targets showing the photo of a former agent who was fatally poisoned in London last year. However, Sergei Lysyuk, head of the Vityaz Center, said he had been unaware that the photo target showed the poisoned ex-agent, Alexander Litvinenko.

"The fact that it was Litvinenko, we only found out later from the press," Lysyuk told The Associated Press. "We did not shoot at Litvinenko, we shot at a target."

Thanks to shawn.

Posted by: Ace at 12:58 PM | Comments (13)
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