February 25, 2006

Burkas TO Bikinis
— Ace

Infidelicious Muslim babe alienates correligionists by gettin' freaky with it.

In between shots of her boobies are (supposedly) shots of female Muslim women dissidents, so it's got, like, political value or something.

Thanks to Dale.


More... Muslim clerics' hysterics, set to rave music.

Personally, I don't get this one, but so many people have sent to me that hey, it must be funny.

Thanks, this time around, to Brett.

Posted by: Ace at 04:30 PM | Comments (35)
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More Samarra Cindy Stupidity
— Ace

Her defense of her friendship with Venezuelan thug Hugo Chavez? Well, maybe he tortures his own people, but so does the US.

We do?

Incidentally, it's time to address the 600 pound elephant in the room everyone's been avoiding. This is a spectacularly homely woman.

Posted by: Ace at 04:21 PM | Comments (60)
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George Clooney: Please Question My Patriotism
— Ace

He wants to be called a traitor. I don't know if I would, but if it's what he wants...

Clooney, who has weathered attacks since opposing the 2003 Iraq invasion, said at one point that it was "frustrating" to be listed as a "traitor" on a set of playing cards, but he also accepted people's right to free speech.

He later admitted he relished the attacks.

"I think it's important to be on the right side of history," Clooney said.

"I want to be on that deck of cards. And I want to be able to say that they boycotted my films... I want to be able to say I was on the cover of a magazine called a 'traitor,"' he said.

"I'm proud of those because those were badges of honour for me because that was when you did it when it was hard to do," the actor and director said.

I'm just curious-- has anyone ever noticed that George Clooney is a not-very-talented television actor? What the hell is he doing in movies? How did this happen? Was there a vote? Why wasn't I invited?

Posted by: Ace at 04:16 PM | Comments (107)
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Black-Costume Spiderman from Spidey3?
— Ace

Supposedly.

It's not the cool costume he got during Secret Wars; it's just his regular costume, except all black (whith white details). And, hell, it could just be a dark picture for effect.

Thanks to a commenter whose tip I can't find.

Posted by: Ace at 07:51 AM | Comments (52)
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Ricin Poisons UT Dorm
— Ace

The toxin was hidden in... roll of quarters?

Two female students from Moore-Hill dormitory were still being treated late Friday for Ricin exposure after coming into contact with the toxin Thursday afternoon, law enforcement and UT officials said.

...

According to authorities, no other students are exhibiting symptoms of exposure to Ricin, a protein-inhibitor that can lead to death or serious injury, which has been used as a biological warfare agent. Authorities would not release the names of the girls involved.

...


The toxin was first discovered around 2:30 p.m. Thursday when one of the students who received treatment discovered a white powder after opening a roll of quarters from a non-local bank to do laundry on the first floor, Spalding said. The quarters had been in her dorm room on the second floor for several months, Spalding said. The powder fell out on the student's hands, which she washed immediately before reporting the incident to the UT Police Department, Spalding said.

This is now obligatory:

"There is no threat coming from this," said Theresa Spalding, associate director of Student Health Services. "The authorities do not believe there is any type of terroristic plot against the University of Texas."

Perhaps they just mean this was a random poisoning, and that no one intended to terrorize UT specifically. I'm not sure if there's an innocent way that ricin finds itself into a roll of quarters.

Thanks to Generation Why?, with lots of pictures of the evacuation/Hazmat squads in action.

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 AM | Comments (33)
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Three-Headed Woman Scares Indian Village
— Ace

They're hunting Bigfoot in Malaysia, and Indians are afraid of triple-headed broads. Sheesh.

Residents of a Mumbai neighborhood have been staying indoors after dark because of fear of a three-headed woman bringing death.

While many people dismiss the stories as rumors and superstition, the belief is strong enough to empty the streets at night in Kopar Khairane, the Mumbai Daily News and Analysis reports.

According to the believers, the woman has three heads, goes after babies and small children and is an excellent mimic. Looking into her eyes is said to bring death.

Many worried residents have chalked the name of Lord Ram or Rama on their doors. Hindus believe that he is an incarnation of Vishnu the Preserver.

Karl Kochack is on the case, but his editor thinks it's just a big waste of his travel expense account.

Thanks to SWOOD/scott.


Posted by: Ace at 07:22 AM | Comments (29)
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February 24, 2006

Goofiest Street Names
— Ace

Psycho Path wins.

Runner-up: Farfrompoopen Street, the only road to Constipation Ridge.

Apparently these are real names.


Thanks to SWOOD.

Sweet Address: Jack "Slublog" Straw notes this arousing intersection in Simsbury, CT.

Posted by: Ace at 12:56 PM | Comments (62)
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"Replicant" Android of Philp K. ("Blade Runner") Dick Escapes
— Ace

Publicity stunt or just geekish irony? You be the judge:

Philip K Dick is missing.

Not the American science fiction writer whose novels spawned hit films such as Blade Runner and Total Recall -- he died more than 20 years ago -- but a state-of-the-art robot named after the author.


...

Top-of-the-line voice software loaded with data from Dick's vast body of writing allows the robot to carry on natural-sounding conversations, although it does come off as a bit doddering at times.

Biometric-identification software and advanced machine vision allows the robot to recognise people -- even in a crowd -- read their expressions and body language and talk to them sounding a lot like a normal, albeit slightly senile, author who likes to quote his own books when he gets confused.

...

The quirky android, was lost in early January while en route to California by commercial airliner.

...

"We're very worried because it's been a few weeks now," said Prilliman. "We're pressing hard to find Phil."

I'd check Rutger Hauer's pad first. Probably hangin' out there, talkin' about the old days, attack ships burning off the arm of Orion, c-beams glittering by the Tannenbaum Gate, that kind of thing. Good times, good times.

Thanks to George, who's done a man's job.

Posted by: Ace at 10:03 AM | Comments (29)
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Update On "Don't Read This" Story
— Ace

You know that story you didn't read earlier? Well, it's whole bunches different now.

I guess you can read this one, as it's not nearly as macabre as it began. Now it's just merely weird. more...

Posted by: Ace at 09:57 AM | Comments (12)
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Anti-Semitic, Anti-American Turkish Film Yanked From German Theater Chain
— Ace

Censorship? Maybe. But then Germany has a lot of censorship laws, particularly regarding anti-semitic content.

The film, portraying the hated Americans and Jews in a bad light, is setting box-office records in Turkey.

I wonder how big the box office would be for an anti-Muslim film here.

I have a feeling there's an audience for it.

Thanks for RLW.

Posted by: Ace at 09:50 AM | Comments (21)
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Brokeback Quailhunt
— Ace

SCENE: Two friends, DICK CHENEY and HENRY WHITTINGTON, share a tent in a marsh. A fire burns as they eat pork and beans out of cans.

DICK: Well, that was a good meal.

HENRY: That's the most words you've said since we've been out here.

DICK: I don't talk much. (tosses bean can aside) Well, guess I better get back to the quail-blind. Want to wake up early to get the early bird.

HENRY: Don't go tonight. It's going to storm. Spend the night in the tent.

DICK: The tent?

HENRY: Sure. It sleeps two.

DICK looks conflicted.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 AM | Comments (59)
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Vichy France still less popular than Nazi Germany
— Tanker

For the record, the only Poles I trust are in Warsaw and Chicago. But, if you do believe in these polls, I find this pretty interesting.

The Gallup poll also measured whether people viewed other countries favorably or unfavorably.

Seventy-nine percent of the poll respondents saw Germany in a favorable light, with only 15 percent unfavorable. Only half viewed Germany favorably in 2003.

France has rebounded nicely with a 54 percent favorable rating compared with only 34 percent having a favorable view just before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, which France strongly opposed. Forty percent of Americans now have an unfavorable view of France.

I wonder if it has more to do with a greater number of German Americans or that everybody hates a cheese eating surrender monkey.

Posted by: Tanker at 07:31 AM | Comments (8)
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Der Spiegel Dowdifies Karen Hughes Interview
— Ace

They even caption Hughes as calling Bush "eine wunderbaren Fuehrer."

You, um, see where they're trying to go with that translation, don't you?

The German press is giving the BBC a run for its money as "most slanted leftist bullshit media organization."

Posted by: Ace at 07:18 AM | Comments (11)
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The Other Other White Meat, Redux
— Ace

Don't read this. more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:02 AM | Comments (11)
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Metropolitan: Mildy Conservative By Temperament, Or Arch-Conservative Thesis
— Ace

A small debate is going on about this film, prompted by a major DVD release of the movie and a Slate article in which a liberal who enjoys the film admits yes, it's pretty darned conservative.

I haven't seen it yet -- heard and read about it for years, but haven't seen it, largely because I don't think there was a DVD available of it until now -- but I have seen Barcelona a bunch of times. And I don't think there's any doubt where that movie comes down politically.

When the villains are a bunch of idiotic leftist Europeans who arrogantly spout off ridiculously false facts about America (the biggest labor union in America is apparently the "NFL-CIA," some sort of clandestine-service/sports league), and the hero is a businessman with a passion for marketing and a jingoistic junior Naval officer, well, that's a damned conservative movie, isn't it?

As one of the two Americans tries to explain American foreign policy, he notices red ants and black ants fighting, and notes that America is just trying to keep the ants from killing each other. The European douchebag objects, stupidly, that that's how Americans "see the world," with everyone as ants. The Naval officer just asks -- "Which of these are the foreign ants?" -- and then takes a brick and smashes them.

Later, his friend counsels him against doing things like that. "You just confirmed their worst assumptions."

The Naval officer just says, "I am their worst assumption."

That's just funny, no matter what your politics are.

Bonus: When a Spanish girl claims that America is very violent, because of all the shooting deaths, the Naval officer explains, "That doesn't mean we're more violent. It just means we're better shots."

Very conservative. Frankly, I'm surprised there's really much of a debate over this. Again, I haven't seen Metropolitan, but it would seem that his later film pretty much resolves the intent behind the former one.

Posted by: Ace at 06:53 AM | Comments (17)
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Suicide Bombers Foiled In Attack On Huge Saudi Oilworks
— Ace

The tempo of mayhem seems to be in an upswing.

Suicide bombers in explosives-laden cars attempted to attack an oil processing facility that handles about two-thirds of Saudi Arabia's petroleum output on Friday, but were stopped when guards opened fire on them, causing the cars to explode, officials said.

The Saudi oil minister said the blast "did not affect operations" at the Abqayq facility, denying an earlier report on Al-Arabiya television that the flow of oil was halted briefly.

The jihadis' new Tet Offensive?

We seem to be at a climax in this war, with the spiraling lawlessness and violence in Iraq and Iran continuing to build nukes. The light at the end of the tunnel is further away now.

For the first time in a while I'm beginning to doubt we can win this thing, at least according to our current, humane tactics. A line of Steven den Beste's keeps running through my mind (paraphrased): "Of course we can fight a two-front war. In fact, we can fight a ten-front war. It's just that eight of those fronts would be fought with nuclear weapons."

Usual caveats -- I hope it doesn't come to that, etc. -- but I begin to wonder if any other response will be effective.

Posted by: Ace at 06:38 AM | Comments (116)
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February 23, 2006

House Elections May Swing On Which Party Is Believed To Control The House
— Ace

Interesting nugget at Something Old, Something New.

The voters tend to punish whichever party controls the House of Representatives and vote that party less seats.

So why did Republicans gain seats in 2002?

Well, polls show the public incorrectly believed the Democrats controlled the House.

And this correlation -- public erroneously thinks one party controls the House, votes the less seats -- has occurred several times before.

Which is all just further evidence for my theory: People are friggin' idiots.

Thanks to Dr. Reo Symes.

Posted by: Ace at 08:44 PM | Comments (33)
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There's Some Controversy About This Vanity Fair Cover
— Ace

Which is why I'm linking it. Because, umm, there's chatter about it. Big questions of current social and sexual mores.

And, um, Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johanson naked.

The controversy is that the girls or naked but the dude has his clothes on. Well, not his clothes, I hope. I hope it's just wardrobe. I hope he doesn't actually dress like Ichabod Crane at a debutante ball.

Then again, he's a fashion designer, I'm reliably informed, so maybe he does.

What was the point of this post again?

Oh yeah. Double standards. Sexual inequality. Societal taboos.

And Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johanson starkers. Did anyone else notice that, or was it just me?

Andrew Sullivan speculates that the disparity -- women naked, man, clothed -- is due to the fact that women are attracted to men's "souls." He does, however, allow that women are "opaque" to him.

Thanks to Allah.

Posted by: Ace at 02:07 PM | Comments (75)
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Well, See Ya Next Year
— Ace

Now that there's a massively-multiplayer on-line Dungeons & Dragons game, I figure my time here is just about done. At least until I get up to 44th level and get my hands on the Wand of Orcus.

578.jpg

Why don't these jackasses advertise on this site? I give them enough free publicity. I obviously have a lot of readers interested in playing fairies, or whatever it is they do in D&D. Geeze, I almost make this dorkwad crap seem cool. (Well, not really, but I do say "pooter," thus lowering the nerdiness factor.)

If I don't see some cash-money respect from Wizards of the Coast or Turbine.com, I'm going to start referencing GURPS, Rifts, and Rolemaster exclusively.

Thanks to Christopher.

Posted by: Ace at 01:15 PM | Comments (37)
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Ace's Atkins Lifesaver
— Ace

Most of you who cook are going to giggle at the obviousness of this recipe, so I guess this is really intended for single guys who don't cook. And are retarded. If you're in that category, though, you might end up eating this son of a bitch three times a week... and loving it.

Updated to answer questions like, "How much seasoning do I actually add?," "Why can't I just use Ortega taco mix?," and "What the hell is cumin?" more...

Posted by: Ace at 12:08 PM | Comments (74)
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