Ace of Spades HQ

April 24, 2009

Apple's usually smooth marketing fucks one up
— Purple Avenger

Apple pulls "Baby Shaker" app from Apple app store.

Apple has apologized for a "deeply offensive" iPhone application called Baby Shaker, which made a game of quieting crying babies by shaking them...

However, rumor has it that "Choke the Bitch" and "Hookers and Blow" games will still remain available for download.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 03:16 PM | Comments (42)
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

Choke the Bitch

CITIZEN'S ARREST! CITIZEN'S ARREST!

Posted by: jaleach at April 24, 2009 03:19 PM (gHrZU)

2 Hey, if I can buy a hooker and then kill her and get my money back on GTA4, I don't understand how this is worse. Because it's babies?

Someone should make a hobo hunting app...

Posted by: wherestherum at April 24, 2009 03:19 PM (gofDd)

3 Are there games for choking other things? Dadgumit

Posted by: billypaintbrush at April 24, 2009 03:20 PM (nNygJ)

4 What about iPimp?

You can still get Wayne Brady on someone's ass, right?

Posted by: Techie at April 24, 2009 03:25 PM (u2aRf)

5 Where is GTA6: DC? Right, you never thought about it.

Posted by: Corona at April 24, 2009 03:26 PM (hyUeL)

6 Ahh what a total lawyer ruled pussy country we have become.So the game made you shake your IPhone big deal?

Posted by: steevy at April 24, 2009 03:27 PM (raV2V)

7 Yeah, I saw them getting all bent out of shape about this over at Rachel Lucas's normally terrific blog earlier today.

I gather this makes me an asshole, but I just don't get the fervor of the outrage. It's a stupid, tasteless joke, not a call to kill babies. Over at RL, the commenters were up in arms about how realistic it is because they put red X's over the babies's eyes when they're shook, indicating that they're dead, I guess.

Red X's are realistic!?! Babies get red Xs over their eyes when they're shaken to death!?!

Tasteless, yes. Stupid, yes. Worth all the fuss I witnessed earlier? No.

Posted by: Kensington at April 24, 2009 03:35 PM (QMhqv)

8 However, no word on whether it's infidel head removal game is deemed offensive.

Posted by: Blazer at April 24, 2009 03:36 PM (+FzLa)

9 @7 Kensington

Red X's are realistic!?! Babies get red Xs over their eyes when they're shaken to death!?!

I wonder what color Xs they get on their eyes when they're left to die in a dirty linen closet.

Posted by: MikeO at April 24, 2009 03:36 PM (hz67i)

10 ^{"I wonder what color Xs they get on their eyes when they're left to die in a dirty linen closet."}

Half-black, half-white, I should think...

Posted by: Kensington at April 24, 2009 03:41 PM (QMhqv)

11 O/T: "Possible Swine Flu Outbreak At NYC Prep School Department Of Health Officials Testing 75 Students At St. Francis Preparatory School In Queens" http://tinyurl.com/cfweuc (via drudge)

Posted by: muffy at April 24, 2009 03:42 PM (zplc6)

12 I don't have an iPhone, but the "baby-shaking" game seems like it'd be a difficult game for me. I'd have to consult this guy for help -

http://tinyurl.com/yo2fkm

Posted by: mitthrawnurdo at April 24, 2009 03:42 PM (otlXg)

13
Crap, Kensington. I'm sorry to have sounded so harsh just below a quote from your comment.

That harshness was decidedly not meant for you.

Posted by: MikeO at April 24, 2009 03:44 PM (hz67i)

14 Come on, if this was a "gut the bitch" or "hang the spade" game you all would be losing your shit over it.

Tastless joke that gives good insight into a society that doesn't give two shits about the weak and helpless.

Posted by: Toad at April 24, 2009 03:45 PM (f0pIy)

15 Kinda-sorta agree, but then I laugh at the "Kick the Baby" jokes on South Park, so I can't really judge too harshly.

Posted by: Techie at April 24, 2009 03:47 PM (u2aRf)

16 iBlow..
The misadventures of trolling right-wing blogs and T-dubbing for dick.
Savor the Flavor that my Ass just Gave Ya!

Posted by: sickinmass at April 24, 2009 03:47 PM (/i4dU)

17 Sure, while they are celebrating their 1 billionth download at the app store someone has to rain on the parade, expecially since MSFT was a downer on the conference call today. some 13 year old kid from CT won a prize when he did the download. If Steve was around more he might have caught this one but the guys are doing a stellar job.

Posted by: muffy at April 24, 2009 03:50 PM (zplc6)

18 ^{"I don't have an iPhone, but the "baby-shaking" game seems like it'd be
a difficult game for me. I'd have to consult this guy for help -

http://tinyurl.com/yo2fkm}"

Clever video but terrible walkthrough. Hitman's a stealth game at its best. It's not supposed to be a bloodbath game. I kill only the target and do my best not to even be detected by anyone else as I do it.

Posted by: Kensington at April 24, 2009 03:52 PM (QMhqv)

19 Please tell me the 1e9th download was something worthwhile..........

I need hope where I can get it.

Posted by: Techie at April 24, 2009 03:52 PM (u2aRf)

20 ^{"Crap, Kensington. I'm sorry to have sounded so harsh just below a quote from your comment."}

No worries!

Posted by: Kensington at April 24, 2009 03:52 PM (QMhqv)

This is an educational tool, meant to inform people that shaking babies will quiet them, but might also kill them.

Or something like that.

Look, you know the risks, that's the point.

All I'm saying is, we can always make more babies but you only have 1 pair of eardrums.

Posted by: Entropy at April 24, 2009 04:01 PM (cok/k)

And what did a baby ever contribute to society anyway?

Fuckers don't even have jobs.

Posted by: Entropy at April 24, 2009 04:02 PM (cok/k)

23 Just to be clear, Apple didn't write this game - some 3rd party developer did and released it through Apple's app store. Apple is supposed to review and approve all apps, and I assume some reviewer there just didn't run it enough to see that the baby dies.

Posted by: M�tenloch at April 24, 2009 04:04 PM (z1Jlf)

Groan. Can't believe someone didn't catch that. Can't believe someone wrote it, for that matter.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 24, 2009 04:07 PM (ajXGd)

and I assume some reviewer there just didn't run it enough to see that the baby dies

In all seriousness, I was only half joking.

I might find this half objectionable if the babies didn't die, as if you were suppose to shake them about to shut them up.

But being that in the game, as in real life, shaking babies kill their chubby bald asses dead, I really don't see a problem.

If people WANT to kill babies, it's not like they need Apple to give them tips. They're not exactly difficult to take down.

Posted by: Entropy at April 24, 2009 04:17 PM (cok/k)

But this won't affect the iHump-iShaved-iChicks-iOnly app, will it?

Posted by: andycanuck at April 24, 2009 04:19 PM (vulJH)

27 Whatever. This is another one of those media-generated crisis that makes everyone feel good about themselves for roundly condemning the obviously bad. But will it somehow make life in the USA better? No. Only voting out Obama in 2012 will ensure that.

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Posted by: royalmewigs at April 24, 2009 04:23 PM (bYMNY)

29 @26: you are referring, I think, to iShavemyBeaver - you know, the game where the beaver gets hairier everyday until its a full blooming bush unless you win points to buy new shavers for it? If you wait too long, the beaver gets all itchy, but if you shave too much it gets red...

Posted by: CoolCzech at April 24, 2009 04:24 PM (iafWn)

30 Wish list: 1. iWigOut - A game where you set fire to human hair lace wigs. Paid version includes the Super Mario avatar. 2. BlusterDuster - A game where you use the pinching feature on the iPhone to squeeze John C. Dvorak's neck until his head explodes in slow-motion animation. Other levels include a tapping game where you poke holes in Shepard Smith's skull, and another pinching game that lets you eviscerate Justin Long by crushing his thorax.

Posted by: George Orwell at April 24, 2009 04:31 PM (/WLDq)

31 I thought the app of choice for you AOSHQ morons would more likely be "Choke the Chicken".

Posted by: WAstaterepub at April 24, 2009 05:40 PM (aC/SY)

How about. Waterboard the terrorist? Everytime the prick mentions jihad or the great Satan you pour water on your I phone until he shuts up.

Wait, that won't work. For one, I guess you'd ruin the phone, But that's exactly what those magnificent bastards at Apple want! This of the sales! Then again, the ACLU, CAIR, Garafalo etc. would be all over that like Geithner on taxes. Plus it would show to our European allies how bloodthirsty we are. I mean especially without giving him halal meals and all. Oh well back to the drawing board. Next up, beat the homeless guy coming soon to an I phone near you.

Posted by: Flyguy03 at April 24, 2009 05:57 PM (FDomG)

33 The title of this post is not in keeping with the new AOS speech codes.

Posted by: The Masked Lapwing at April 24, 2009 06:07 PM (KOkrW)

"Choke the Bitch" is a great game, but don't play it with your mother. At least not nekkid. Things could turn strange.

Posted by: arclight at April 24, 2009 11:18 PM (PnQVm)

"Baby Shacker" is over rated. Not nearly as fun as "Use Garden Shears to Lope Off Just Emerging Baby Appentigese"

Posted by: arclight at April 24, 2009 11:34 PM (PnQVm)

36 Yea, "Drunken Mohel" is a real hoot.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at April 25, 2009 12:13 AM (9Zeza)

37 I refuse to subsidize Apple's cult of smug.

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 25, 2009 05:57 AM (wQE87)

38 I am highly insulted.

Posted by: Shiek DaBabi at April 25, 2009 07:22 AM (Am6n/)

39 I'm with you, Kensington. I just don't get it. Yeah, it's tasteless and offensive, but I just don't get how it's a HUGE OUTRAGE!!!111!!! I, too, was surprised that Rachel & commenters flipped out over this - I would have thought Rachel would have said for people to tone it down.

But then, I haven't looked at a video or pictures of the application, so maybe that's part of why I don't get it...

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at April 25, 2009 09:43 AM (kTwMy)

40 There are other good Apple apps for kids, if this one is not so well, we can try others.

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