Ace of Spades HQ

December 30, 2008

Another Noteworthy Ad Campaign
— Gabriel Malor

Sorry guys, this one isn't like the one that Ace found. But it is one of the funnier, but also the more disturbing things I've seen today.

Go here. It's safe for work. Go on watch, I'll wait.

Philips has to find a market for the product and grow a market for the product. I'd say mission accomplished. I expect ads for that thing will be in all the lady mags soon too, so they'll want to buy it for their husbands and boyfriends. That's right, all you fellers are going to be trimming under your bitchtits by this time next year.

Thanks to Jahiliyya.

Update: I have been informed that this is OLD. So old, in fact, that commenter Shawn has been trimming his manboobs for over a year. So congratulations (?) to him. Pardon me while I go beat up Jahi.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 03:56 PM | Comments (244)
Post contains 151 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I say this with great respect and reverence: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!!!

But goodie.

Posted by: Scandi Dirt at December 30, 2008 04:01 PM (DlMoL)

2 I'm sure a lot of beta males will rush out and buy one.

Posted by: unseen at December 30, 2008 04:01 PM (aVGmX)

3 This is old as hell, I've had one for over a year now.

Posted by: Shawn at December 30, 2008 04:01 PM (ijcTK)

4 Bwahahaha. And us silly wimmin still using real razors to shave some sensitive stuff. Told ya women were tough. But smoooooooth....

Posted by: AngelEm at December 30, 2008 04:03 PM (tbIup)

5 Crap, 10 minutes go by and two other people say it's OLD.

Posted by: Attila (Pillage Idiot) at December 30, 2008 04:05 PM (wwy6Z)

6 Well darnit. Stupid tipster.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 04:09 PM (rWvvO)

7 A well-trained hamster does the best job. I have heard.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 04:10 PM (O8KSM)

8 It's not so much old as it, um, lacks a certain level of newness.

Seriously though, if Dave at Garfield Ridge were still alive he bitch slap you for posting something this ancient.

(What? He's not dead? Well, the point still stands)

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 04:10 PM (hlYel)

9 Oh My Sweet Stars!!!
The intro video was funny but the music video had me screaming with laughter!!!
Buy stock indeed.

Posted by: Oil Field Trash at December 30, 2008 04:10 PM (dFODS)

10 I trim my man in a way that no mere shaver possibly could.

Posted by: Andrew at December 30, 2008 04:12 PM (WQqt3)

11 A well-trained hamster does the best job. -------------------- Obviously you've never been to Japan.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 04:12 PM (ocqQA)

12 Its new to me, and offensively funny

Posted by: toby928 at December 30, 2008 04:13 PM (PD1tk)

13 What!?

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 04:13 PM (ocqQA)

14 Ooooooh so verrrrry old: June 2007.

Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at December 30, 2008 04:13 PM (uOvAE)

15 3 This is old as hell, I've had one for over a year now.

Posted by: Shawn at December 30, 2008 09:01 PM

Are you sure you want to be admitting this for all the moronosphere to see? I mean, my own homophobia can be restrained, but some of these other animals . . .

Posted by: Nordbuster at December 30, 2008 04:15 PM (XL9u/)

16 I just ordered one from Amazon. Homophobia? Ladies love shaved guys. Put it this way, would you rather eat fur pie or something nice and clean? What makes you think they're any different?

Posted by: ErikTheRed at December 30, 2008 04:18 PM (erlfI)

17 Funny, Nordbuster. But seriously, it's impolite to have hairy junk whether you are regular or Gabe-like. It's just rude, plus it turns women off from doing things that are really great and stuff.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 04:19 PM (ocqQA)

18 I call BullShit.. Ace found it butt but didn't have the Balls to post it.
Happy New Year, Gabe and Morons.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 04:23 PM (/i4dU)

19 NOW I know what to buy to make my junk pron-star smooth....

Posted by: Buck Naked - Pron Star at December 30, 2008 04:31 PM (gNXjy)

Sorry, not into pedophillia. I want my woman to look like an adult, not some prepubecent child.

Posted by: Don Carne at December 30, 2008 04:32 PM (wSNS7)

21 eman:
"A well-trained hamster does the best job.

I have heard."

A hamtaro fan, you are not....

Posted by: fred zeppelin at December 30, 2008 04:33 PM (R4ffQ)

22 Um, eh, Don, it's not for women. It's for, uh, Don's Carne. Carne del Don, if you will. Know what I'm sayin'? Oh, and, uh, whatever you do, don't go smooth. That's just weird.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 04:39 PM (ocqQA)

23 "Ladies love shaved guys."

Um... do you date Earth women? Just checking.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at December 30, 2008 04:45 PM (uJbNz)

24 Look, by the time she's in a position to see if my junk is shaved or not, I've pretty much gotten where I have a damn good chance of getting laid either way. So I'm not gonna waste time shaving my junk just to make her happy.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 04:48 PM (/K0QE)

25 do you date Earth women?

Yes but only because I hear they are easy.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 04:50 PM (hlYel)

I meant the whle shaving thing, men and women. My ballsack and cock will remain hirsute, as will the GF's vajayjay. The whole body shaving thing is another step in the Gaying of America. What self-respecting man would shave his chest, pits, and "bits"? This sounds like the perfect gift for an Andi Sullivan fan/lover. Man up and let your freak flag fly, so to speak.

Posted by: Don Carne at December 30, 2008 04:50 PM (wSNS7)

27 There is a fine line between Metrosexual and well groomed.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 30, 2008 04:51 PM (MOdlB)

28 Ladies love shaved guys.

Some of us actually find it a little creepy. Maybe even a lot creepy.

Posted by: CB at December 30, 2008 04:51 PM (9Wv2j)

29 24.. Bring dental floss just in case.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 04:52 PM (/i4dU)

What real man would spend time to shave his underarms when he could be reloading ammo? Answer that, and you'll see who this is really aimed at.

I mean, really - underarm shaving? Shaving your junk, or your chest? Seems a bit like someone fetishizing the look of pre-pubescent boys.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at December 30, 2008 04:53 PM (/nbDg)

31 DrewM..awful movie.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 04:54 PM (/i4dU)

32 The only thing I like guys to shave is their face, but if they look sexy in a beard, it can stay.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at December 30, 2008 05:03 PM (uJbNz)

33 Kemp in 3,2,1...

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 05:06 PM (/i4dU)

34 "Some of us actually find it a little creepy. Maybe even a lot creepy." I agree. A little trimming, when necessary, but men are *supposed* to be furry. That's what makes 'em so warm to snuggle up to. Shaving the chest ruins that, and shaving the "bits" is too porn-y. Groomed? Fine. Totally smooth? ICK.

Posted by: AngelEm at December 30, 2008 05:06 PM (tbIup)

35 Bad idea.(like Al Franken) Ever hear of friendly bacteria morons?

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 05:09 PM (/i4dU)

36 I shave with a straight razor so this shit is right out.
I would shave my back if I had back hair though, or get someone to.
That shit looks itchy as hell.

Posted by: Rocks at December 30, 2008 05:12 PM (7rbe9)

Gabe,

I don't mean to be rude, BUT your ghey shit is getting REALLY OLD.

This is so fucking ghey and OLD that the only reason you posted it was you have a hard on for the guy in the commercial.

GABE, get a fucking life. We really don't need ANY more ghey posts or ghey ads.

Gabe, we don't shave our under arms, I've been nice.

I think it is time Ace started thinking about giving up our ghey poster.

Sorry, Gabe, hope and change is coming. I think a change in posters here would be in order.

Hear that Ace?

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 05:17 PM (2+9Yx)

38 Asparagus-free since 93. A nice glass of champag-ne for the lady?

Posted by: Vincent Van Moe at December 30, 2008 05:22 PM (S7zPk)

39 I agree. A little trimming --------- This is what we're talking about people. Polite grooming, not non-hormonaly inclined fetishising. Comprende? Of course, if you are already suffering from a lack of testosterone this won't matter much to you. But guys, seriously, let me relate this to you... Have you ever dated an Italian granola girl? No? Well, I did once on summer break. Let me tell you, it's not the greatest thing ever. Be kind. Tend your garden when it requires tending. She will appreciate it.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:25 PM (ocqQA)

40 Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 10:17 PM (2+9Yx)

Kemp,

I don't mean to be rude, BUT your complaining about ghey shit is getting REALLY OLD.

This is so fucking annoying and OLD that the only reason you posted it was you want to remind every one, again, how much you don't like what you imagine to be ghey shit.

KEMP, get a fucking life. We really don't need ANY more comments reminding us you don't always like what Gabe posts.

Kemp, it's a joke that someone other than Gabe posted here before, might even have been Ace.

I think it is time Ace started thinking about...doughnuts because doughnuts are tasty.

Sorry, Kemp, hope and change is coming. I think a change in your need to share your thoughts in such consistently insulting ways would be in order.

Hear that Kemp?

DrewM.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 05:28 PM (hlYel)

41 I'm getting the feeling I've been going to the wrong health club all these years. When did all this dipilatory of the love cannon business get started? I would think Philips has got some serious liability issues if Lorena Bobbit finds one of these things.

Posted by: Fresh Air at December 30, 2008 05:30 PM (ytzxB)

42 I'm trying to come up with an "Ace shaving his balls" joke but I've got nothing.

Posted by: Benson at December 30, 2008 05:30 PM (qzcNU)

Kemp,

I don't mean to be rude, BUT your anti-ghey shit is getting REALLY OLD.

If you don't like the posts don't read them. If you don't like the way Ace runs HIS blog, leave. No one is forcing you to stay. You're the asshole who keeps coming here and shitting on everything. dick.

Posted by: Don Carne at December 30, 2008 05:30 PM (wSNS7)

44 I think it is time Ace started thinking about giving up our ghey poster.

Better idea: How about you go pound sand?

Posted by: Benson at December 30, 2008 05:32 PM (qzcNU)

45 Really, Kemp. This would have been funny regardless of who posted it. If it's old, so what? Some of us haven't seen the ads (though I have seen the product itself). It's FUNNY. It isn't about Gabe being gay, you paranoid jackass.

Posted by: AngelEm at December 30, 2008 05:33 PM (tbIup)

46 Wow, Kemp you are such a buzz-kill. Why don't you go play in traffic.

Posted by: Don Carne at December 30, 2008 05:33 PM (wSNS7)

47 I have a Thing against back hair. I'm not into yetis.

As far as the rest of the shaving thing, I am of two minds. The good - less need to floss. The bad - creepy creepy pedophilia vibe.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 05:34 PM (xUOXi)

48 It's all about moderation, people.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:35 PM (ocqQA)

49 And FOAD, Kemp.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:36 PM (ocqQA)

50 Oh look, Drew's consolidating his position as my favorite again. *adds points*

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 05:36 PM (xUOXi)

51 As far as the rest of the shaving thing, I am of two minds.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 10:34 PM (xUOXi)

And now 75% of the guys at AoS are confused as to how to handle the situation. They eagerly await a decision and direction.

(the other 25% are either in committed relationships, ghey or both)

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 05:37 PM (hlYel)

Drew,

I am sorry, what is about posting old ghey shit that gets up your ass?

It was Gabe that proudly posts he is ghey. So should we ignore his statement?

Does his posts of ghey stuff say anything about his gheyness?

I don't know, but don't give me shit for pointing out the obvious. I think Gabe does a great job and post great stuff.

Having said that, why do we need to have a ghey post everyday? Is this a new affirmative action, conservative site?

If so, let me know and I will just smile and nod.

Hear that Drew.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 05:38 PM (2+9Yx)

53 I find letting a woman groom you will tell you what she cares about the most. It can be fun and better than talking about it. Just don't give her the straight razor if you've pissed her off.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 30, 2008 05:41 PM (MOdlB)

54 Kemp, Save us your homoparanoia. The ad isn't even marketed to gheys. It's obviously marketed to frat boys and guys with above average amounts of junkfur.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:42 PM (ocqQA)

55 42 I'm trying to come up with an "Ace shaving his balls" joke but I've got nothing.
^{see #18..hehe}
44 I think it is time Ace started thinking about giving up our ghey poster.

Better idea: How about you go pound sand?
And clean yourself with O's soap on a rope.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 05:42 PM (/i4dU)

56 I think Gabe does a great job and post great stuff.

Which is clearly why you said:

I think it is time Ace started thinking about giving up our ghey poster.

Is this a new affirmative action, conservative site?

What does one thing have to do with another? Better yet, why am I arguing with a rube? Crawl back under your rock.

Posted by: Benson at December 30, 2008 05:43 PM (qzcNU)

57 Kemp, ever hear someone complain about seeing racism in *everything*? After a while, you realize that the racism is not there except in the complainer's mind. Seems there may be a similar kind of thing going on here.

Posted by: AngelEm at December 30, 2008 05:43 PM (tbIup)

58 So that's what The O! uses on his glistening pecs.

Posted by: PA Cat at December 30, 2008 05:43 PM (6ZyyZ)

59 Hey, serious question: What happens if we were accidently standing in a puddle of water when we were trimming our broccoli? Would we lose the whole schnatz or just the trimmings?

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 05:44 PM (LcIae)

60 And now 75% of the guys at AoS are confused as to how to handle the situation. They eagerly await a decision and direction.

I would say that some minor grooming, if needed, is polite for your partner. There's nothing sexy about nearly choking on a hair ball whilst mid-sex.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 05:44 PM (xUOXi)

61 Once you shave the jewels, you have to keep them shaved or endure your partner's complaints about "a thousand little razor wires" down there. That is, until the little fuckers grow out and get soft again. So I have heard.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 05:44 PM (O8KSM)

62 Dear quarrelers: This is an insanely funny topic and you are ruining it. Please return to sharp, witty, R-rated commentary, STAT!

Posted by: Fresh Air at December 30, 2008 05:45 PM (ytzxB)

63 Hey. Wait a minute.... This thing has been out since 2007? Doesn't that correlate to the global cooling trend we've been seeing lately??? zOMFG!! Smooth ballsacs must be the antidote to AGW!!! So, I CAN have my SUV, Christmas lights and hobo grilling pit w/o killing the planet! However - and this is important - I need to make sure I keep the nether regions "tidy". Otherwise, doom awaits. Thus, I think Congress should pass a law that requires all who participate in "environmentally irresponsible practices" (ie drive a car, breath or have children), must be able to provide proof of their smooth taint!

Posted by: Che Pizza at December 30, 2008 05:45 PM (RLBRw)

64 kempermanx

Kemp, you old latent homo. Quit beating around the bush and just come out already.

Posted by: adamthemad at December 30, 2008 05:47 PM (aUyuV)

65 eman - yeah, that complaint crosses gender lines

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 05:47 PM (xUOXi)

66 @53-- Or if she's had too much coffee. Shaky hands, you know.

Posted by: AngelEm at December 30, 2008 05:48 PM (tbIup)

67 Gabe is gay? Didn't know. Don't care.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 05:48 PM (O8KSM)

Gezze,

I am sorry I got everyone so worked up.

Chill out.

So do we accept different views, or do we have to all be lovey dovey?

Is this a PC site now? Just asking?

More cheerleader if it is not.

Happy New Year.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 05:48 PM (2+9Yx)

Yes it is old, but funny.

Philips does have a new "toy" out. It's an erotic toy for both men and women. I have a family member who works for Philips and he sent me a link about it awhile ago. I am not sure if it's out yet---but, it looks very interesting!!!

BTW:

BREAKING NEWS! Damn itthey have found and published Obamas official birth certificate. Why now? Go to www.tinyurl. com/9bteo9 to read all about it!

Posted by: Puget Sound Island Girl at December 30, 2008 05:49 PM (QfSJV)

70 This is an insanely funny topic and you are ruining it. Please return to sharp, witty, R-rated commentary, STAT!

I second the motion.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 05:49 PM (rWvvO)

71 "There's nothing sexy about nearly choking on a hair ball whilst mid-sex." - Alexthechick I thought you said you weren't into Yetis?

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 05:49 PM (LcIae)

72 Once you shave the jewels, you have to keep them shaved or endure your partner's complaints about "a thousand little razor wires" down there. ----------- I have found that the 3/4" setting on the junk trimmer once a *cough* month takes care of that problem.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:50 PM (ocqQA)

73 Kemp..no hard feelings man...
>>I don't know, but don't give me shit for pointing out the obvious.
If it's so obvious to you, why bring it the fuck up?
Some things are obvious to the rest of us Morons.
Sorry I called you you out of your cave.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 05:50 PM (/i4dU)

74 Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 10:38 PM (2+9Yx)

If you don't like a post, relax another one will be along soon enough.

Not every post is invitation for you to share you views on someone's life. This was an innocent post, totally non political or offensive and you turn it into an anti-gay rant (note the non ironic spelling of gay).

As I pointed out someone, I don't remember who, posted this here before. Was that an invitation to attack them? Let me help you...no. And neither is this post. And it's not just this post. You got called out on this shit during the Tom Cruise Wants to Count Gays thread. I even got an email from a long time commenter here asking if what you were doing was getting close to being banable.

Kemp, you've been around long enough to know there's a bit of a community thing among active commenters. Look at the reaction you get when you do this. How come the only time anyone seems to give you trouble is on this issue and ask yourself who really has the issue here...the AoS community or you?

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 05:52 PM (hlYel)

75 Sooo.... my bad...

Posted by: Jahiliyya at December 30, 2008 05:53 PM (mvfNc)

76 Gabe, you're teh ghey. You're supposed to say: I second that emotion. *snap*

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:53 PM (ocqQA)

77 Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 10:48 PM (2+9Yx)

Whoops. Sorry. I didn't realize we all made nice. I should have hit refresh before posting.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 05:53 PM (hlYel)

78 The model in that ad looks like a slightly younger Blago.

Posted by: PA Cat at December 30, 2008 05:54 PM (6ZyyZ)

#64, adamthemad,

You devil, I won't ever go out with you! What was that phone number again?

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 05:54 PM (2+9Yx)

80 "I have found that the 3/4" setting on the junk trimmer once a *cough* month takes care of that problem." - runninrebel Whew, for a minute there I thought you meant "weed" trimmer. Using the ole weed wacker to trim the johnson regions would be a might tricky.

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 05:57 PM (LcIae)

81 Using the ole weed wacker to trim the johnson regions would be a might tricky.

I'm going to guess that's a trick you only do once.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 05:57 PM (xUOXi)

If so, let me know and I will just smile and nod.

How about you just go with that regardless. Douche.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 30, 2008 05:58 PM (rf03a)

83 Whoa!!!

Kemp?!!? WTF man? I sent the link to Gabe. His gayness and your closet gayness had nothing to do w/ it.

You need to try this. Shave yer nether region. You'll never go back. Seriously to all readers, male and female. Hair gets in the way of teh sex. Guys.... you want her to go down on you?.... shave teh balls. Girls... you want him to go down on you?... shave the meat curtains. Nobody likes hair in their mouth.

And if that's not your bag... just try normal, vanilla, everyday sex. IT WILL FEEL DIFFERENT.

Posted by: Jahiliyya at December 30, 2008 05:58 PM (mvfNc)

84 So do we accept different views, or do we have to all be lovey dovey? Is this a PC site now? Just asking? ---------- Wait. Before we make nice. Can I just add that this is about the most passive aggressive, non-sensical, pussy-mode response one can offer? srsly.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 05:59 PM (ocqQA)

85 38 Asparagus-free since 93.
A nice glass of champag-ne for the lady?

Posted by: Vincent Van Moe at December 30, 2008 10:22 PM (S7zPk)

I can just picture NiceDeb rolling on the floor...You morons were awesome on the soap thead! Really enjoyed it.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 05:59 PM (/i4dU)

Drew,

See #68, I have a problem with some of this and I appreciate your input.

So again the question, is this now a PC site?

We can post clearly sexist shit, but questioning ghey posts is off limits?

Inquring minds want to know.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:01 PM (2+9Yx)

87 *sigh*

Posted by: Bigfoot at December 30, 2008 06:02 PM (O8KSM)

Sorry, not into pedophillia. I want my woman to look like an adult, not some prepubecent child.

So you're saying you like women with hairy pits and legs too?

What is it with dudes who look at a shaved cooter and immediately associate it with a pre-pubecent child?

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 30, 2008 06:03 PM (rf03a)

89 One of my business partners had a quad-bypass recently and he said they shaved everything, even his nads pre-op. The nominal excuse was they had to do it cuz of some femoral artery catheters or some bullshit like that. But everyone knows they do it cuz they get off on doing that kinda shit to people.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 30, 2008 06:04 PM (Z0HFQ)

90 88

Agree w/ Hollowpoint. What does that say about those dudes?...

Posted by: Jahiliyya at December 30, 2008 06:05 PM (mvfNc)

91 "Using the ole weed wacker to trim the johnson regions would be a might tricky. I'm going to guess that's a trick you only do once." - alexthechick True dat, unless of course you happen to be Edward Scissorhands.

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 06:06 PM (LcIae)

runninrebel.

Whatever your post means, it was my thoughts at the time. Passive aggressive? Shit if I wanted to flame, I think I could do that, so please don't question my incoherent ramblings.

OK?

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:09 PM (2+9Yx)

93 Nair?

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 06:10 PM (O8KSM)

94 Eeeehhh, you all are a bunch of wimps! You wanna do the job right, get those regions waxed! I hear the Roman method is the best.

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 06:11 PM (LcIae)

95 Oh and I stand by my position that the XM radio Cherry Pie commercial is one of the best ever

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:11 PM (xUOXi)

96 Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 11:01 PM (2+9Yx)

I'm not the rule maker but in cases like this the community seems to be self-policing.

I think hiding behind "is this now a PC site" is bullshit. It's one thing to get into it in the heat of a discussion, it's another to repeatedly attack someone on a very personal level out of the blue.

You can do it but you better be prepared to pay what's likely to be an escalating price*.

You know as well as I do there are very few tickets out of here. Race, sex and sexual orientation are at the top of Ace's list. And just by spelling it ghey doesn't mean it's a get out of jail free card.

One bit of advice...it's great you acknowledge that you t "have a problem with some of this". The thing to remember is...no one else seems to care about either the post or your personal reaction to it.

You were advocating for Gabe's removal originally. My guess is if there was a vote between you and him, you'd lose. Of course there's only one vote that matters and without any sort of inside knowledge not obvious to every long time denizen of this place, I'm pretty sure you'd lose that one too.

And being anti-PC doesn't mean one is in favor of boorish behavior such as you've been exhibiting.

*This isn't a passive/agressive threat, I'm just saying what we all know.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 06:12 PM (hlYel)

97 No Nair will ever touch my nads. That shit is very caustic. My nads be sensitive.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 30, 2008 06:12 PM (Z0HFQ)

98 Heh. My heterosexual wife (who likes guys) thought the site was hilarious. She didn't appreciate the nekkid skydivers quite so much.

Posted by: pbrown at December 30, 2008 06:13 PM (rTGYp)

99 1) Clip is old, but funnier than Nancy Peloci at a Victoria's Secret.

2) Kemp needs a one-way ticket to Bantown. Just for being a dick.

3) Cocksucker. Just doin' my part for our stats.

Posted by: Powdered Milk Man at December 30, 2008 06:14 PM (TuD9Y)

100 No Nair will ever touch my nads. That shit is very caustic. My nads be sensitive.

I'm getting the sense that you left out an again.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:16 PM (xUOXi)

101 You wanna do the job right, get those regions waxed!

I have two girlfriends who prefer me waxed, especially in the summer (sweat gets trapped in the hair). Trust me, it's not worth the trouble. You gotta do it more frequently than you think, it hurts like heck, and it damages your skin in the long-term. Go with what runninrebel said. Trim it short, but not too short and everyone can be happy. Same policy goes for the ladies. If you want me messing around down there keep it short.

Bet you're all really fuckin' confused now!

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 06:18 PM (rWvvO)

102 How come the dude in the commercial is wearing a robe with his hands in his pockets? Could it be he's playin' a little Texas Hold Em down there? Or, does he have the product hidden in his left hand?

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 06:19 PM (LcIae)

103 >>Shit if I wanted to flame, I think I could do that, so please don't question my incoherent ramblings.

Wanna manscape my bush? And I'm not incoherent.
Alex!sic him!.. cough up a hairball ..do something!!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 06:21 PM (/i4dU)

104 That's what I love about this blog. One minute it's serious discussions about economics, the next, discussing the best way to shave teh ballz.

Posted by: Powdered Milk Man at December 30, 2008 06:23 PM (TuD9Y)

105 Fine, Kemp. But ease up on Gabe. Besides, it's that Drew character we have to watch out for. Ever since Geraghty pasted one of his comments he's been insufferable. But let me just say that, when all is said and done, my new favorite pubic hair style on a lady is the wedge. I used to be a racing stripe guy but then I had a bad experience. BTAS

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:24 PM (ocqQA)

106

Drew,

I hope you will note that I apologized to Gabe two days ago for my 23th post.

I thought I might get a reply, but didn't. This is not my blog, I think Gabe's sexual orientation is becoming an issue with his otherwise great posts.

I love Ace's place, I don't want ghey to become an issue. I did not bring this to the table, Gabe did.

My posts have clearly praised Gabe. I only wish he would be gender neutral, gezze PC talk. I don't know or care if everyone on this blog is ghey. I don't come here to debate gheyness.

I am a libertarian, I don't give a shit if you are screwing sheep, just don't tell me I have to do it too.

More cheerleaders! OK, some Male ones too!

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:26 PM (2+9Yx)

107 Bet you're all really fuckin' confused now! -------------------- Eh, not anyone that's met you, pal.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:26 PM (ocqQA)

108 Alex!sic him!.. cough up a hairball ..do something!!

Oh like I'd get my stompy boots dirty on that.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:27 PM (xUOXi)

109 >>Bet you're all really fuckin' confused now!
Kemp blew a fuse. How did it taste, Kemp???

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 06:28 PM (/i4dU)

110 Mommy, Mommy, what's a "cooter"? Well, honey, there's this man who lives in Hooterville down by a place called Petticoat Junction, and this man......

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 06:28 PM (LcIae)

111 This is not my blog, I think Gabe's sexual orientation is becoming an issue with his otherwise great posts. --------------------- This post had nothing to do with homos, you fucking idiot. Jesus, I thought the latent homo jokes about you were just jokes, but maybe there's something to them.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:29 PM (ocqQA)

112 my new favorite pubic hair style on a lady is the wedge.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 06:29 PM (rWvvO)

113 I used to be a racing stripe guy but then I had a bad experience.

I actually hate Brazilian waxes, it's idiotic. Either clean shave/wax, trim or go 70's porn bush.

Waxing sucks in general, I don't care what you're getting waxed.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:29 PM (xUOXi)

114

Powdered Milk Man,

Geeze you cocksucker, I dare you call my cocksucking ass out. I think we have the cocksucker vote nailed down, but if I get banned for using cocksucker, shit we might lose.

Happy New Year, cocksucker,

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:31 PM (2+9Yx)

115 106..You should run for Senator after that post. Can we say box-o-rocks?
Give it up and it will go away.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 06:33 PM (/i4dU)

116

I hope you will note that I apologized to Gabe two days ago for my 23th post.

I thought I might get a reply, but didn't.

Kemp, I wasn't aware of your apology, which is why I didn't reply. In any case, your comments don't bother me except to the extent they derail what would otherwise be freakin' hilarious or otherwise meritorious (in the case of "Serious. Blogging.") comment threads.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 06:33 PM (rWvvO)

117 "I don't care what you're getting waxed." - alexthechick Oooohhh, I do love bossy women!

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 06:34 PM (LcIae)

118

Gabe,

Thanks,

Happy New Year.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:35 PM (2+9Yx)

119 Question 1: How does one have a bad experience with a racing stripe?

Question 2: Alex, what is the difference between a Brazilian and shaving/waxing clean?

And, for the record, completely hairless in da bidness just seems like nailing a little kid- just a bit too eeewww.

My own personal experience of horror involved a very friendly fan after my band played a Lollapalooza '92 warmup- my hand went into the happy valley and she had at least 6 piercings per side. It was like grabbing a handful of spiky ball bearings. I deflated quickly, and the moment was rather badly lost.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 06:35 PM (nHN8Z)

120 This is not my blog, I think Gabe's sexual orientation is becoming an issue with his otherwise great posts.

I love Ace's place, I don't want ghey to become an issue. I did not bring this to the table, Gabe did.

kempermanx,

With all due respect, don't sweat it. Ace knows exactly what's posted here (some times we have to point it out to him but eventually he sees it all). If he's worried about what any of us are writing on his site, I assure you he knows how to get in touch with us.

And yes you did bring it to the table. Look at the people who spend the most time here...you seem to be the only one worried about some kind immanent lavender invasion.

Again, if you don't like something feel free to pass on it but repeatedly attacking someone in a pretty offensive way is only going to bring it back on you.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 06:36 PM (hlYel)

121 alexthechick, I've never cared about the perfection of a Brazilian wax. I mean, hell, I was just honored to be there. But the racing stripe seems too trendy to me now, while the wedge has a more classic aesthetic. Know what I'm sayin'?

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:36 PM (ocqQA)

122 Question 2: Alex, what is the difference between a Brazilian and shaving/waxing clean?

A Brazilian generally leaves a thin strip of hair in the middle. Think landing strip or racing stripe.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:40 PM (xUOXi)

123 Question 1: How does one have a bad experience with a racing stripe? ----------------- Well, my problem wasn't with the shape so much as it was the form. If you catch my drift.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:41 PM (ocqQA)

124

Drew

And yes you did bring it to the table.

With all due respect Drew, I did not bring Gabes sexual origination to the table, he did.

Re read my post. I didn't tell everyone Gabe was ghey, he did.

Let's give this shit up.

I'd say cocksucker, but shit you might call me ghey too, every other cockersucker on this blog has.

How are our number now?

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 06:42 PM (2+9Yx)

125 110 Mommy, Mommy, what's a "cooter"?

Well, honey, there's this man who lives in Hooterville down by a place called Petticoat Junction, and this man......

I thought it was the mechanic from "Dukes of Hazzard".

Posted by: Powdered Milk Man at December 30, 2008 06:43 PM (TuD9Y)

126 Alex- Aha. I was under the impression that Brazilian meant birthday-clean. Thanks for the clarification.

Rebel- did someone manage to trick you into the gearshift surprise? I've met a few of those on Bourbon Street...

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 06:43 PM (nHN8Z)

127 But the racing stripe seems too trendy to me now, while the wedge has a more classic aesthetic.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yeah. I think it's hilarious that genital grooming now has fashion trends. Of course, then there's the whole thing about labiaplasty which just takes the ick factor to whole new levels. If you don't know what that is, well, I'm not responsible for what happens if you google it.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:43 PM (xUOXi)

128

Something needs to be set straight for the record-

It is not gay to shave one's cock and ball region. However, if a dude shaves all his pubic hair off... yeah. Kinda gay.

As to the cooter- it needs to be at least trimmed, preferably the only hair being on top. Vagina is complicated enough; having to figure it out when it's covered in hair is like trying to solve a Rubic's Cube while wearing welding gloves.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 30, 2008 06:44 PM (zE8dV)

129 Holy shit! This thread has more wrinkles than my unshaven scrotum.

Posted by: No one of consequence at December 30, 2008 06:44 PM (3Bqev)

130 Alex has stompy boots?

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 30, 2008 06:45 PM (LVT6e)

131 Bet you're all really fuckin' confused now!

You're black?

Posted by: mesablue at December 30, 2008 06:46 PM (5yNaE)

132 Vagina is complicated enough; having to figure it out when it's covered in hair is like trying to solve a Rubic's Cube while wearing welding gloves.

Ow. Ow. Ow. g&t out the nose really really fucking hurts

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:47 PM (xUOXi)

133 >>I've never cared about the perfection of a Brazilian wax. I mean, hell, I was just honored to be there. But the racing stripe seems too trendy to me now, while the wedge has a more classic aesthetic.
Gabe,
See what you did?Holy crap...
I shave my face once a week. You morons don't
know the meaning of the crap I get!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 06:47 PM (/i4dU)

134 You may not have been the one to out Gabe, Kemp, but you sure seem to find a way to mention it every fucking time Gabe posts something.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 06:48 PM (n633J)

135 Racing...stripe? Also, there are trends in, er, personal grooming?

On second thought, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Anyway, I personally think it's kinda weird to prefer sexual partners without secondary sexual characteristics. I'd much rather date Tom Selleck than Bart.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at December 30, 2008 06:49 PM (1C1Sl)

136 ...and I just read the thread. Oh dear.

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 30, 2008 06:49 PM (LVT6e)

137 Alex, pursuant to labiaplasty...

A famous (and very attractive and shapely) opera singer was doing a Salome (in which she has to be full-frontal nude), and the company paid for her to wax it clean. Being the good colleague that she is, she agreed to do it.

She walks out on stage for the first (un)dress rehearsal, and the director yelps out after a second...

"OH MAH GAWD, IT LOOKS LIKE DA EARS AWN A GAWDDAMN BASSET HOUND!!!"

No word on whether this singer is pondering labiaplasty as a result or not.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 06:50 PM (nHN8Z)

138

With all due respect Drew, I did not bring Gabes sexual origination to the table, he did.

Re read my post. I didn't tell everyone Gabe was ghey, he did.

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 11:42 PM (2+9Yx)

Bullshit. Gabe maybe gentlemen enough to let it go but that's bullshit what you just wrote.

There's nothing in this post that goes to anyone's sexuality, just as there wasn't when it was posted before by someone other than Gabe. It's not about outting anyone. You read sexuality into this post and took the opportunity to launch an attack on Gabe.

If you're such a big fan of Gabe's why did you advocate for his removal as poster not two and half hours ago?

And if you want proof of how tired you shit is, look at comment 33...sickinmass called it just in time.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 06:50 PM (hlYel)

139 Rebel- did someone manage to trick you into the gearshift surprise? --------- Once. But that's not the bad experience. It was more like opening the hood on a shiny painted mustang only to see a... eh, I should stop there.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:51 PM (ocqQA)

140 Rebel-

Oh, do tell... this sounds awesome!

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 06:52 PM (nHN8Z)

141 Butterflies and hearts?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 30, 2008 06:52 PM (MOdlB)

142 Belt sander?

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 06:53 PM (O8KSM)

143 Butterfly sounds like it would be hopelessly complicated to do right.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 06:54 PM (nHN8Z)

144

I shaved my ass once.

Well actually I cut it. With paper scissors. Then I put 'em back in the drawer and didn't tell no one what I did with em.

It was mighty precarious, let me tell you. I damn near became a woman.

And then.... it just grew back anyway. And it itched.

So fuck that.

But really - not a good place for hair, really. I don't know why they put that there... kinda fucking stupid engineering on that..

I gotta take a shower every time I shit so my ass doesn't end up looking like the lint trap in the clothes dryer.

Posted by: Entropy at December 30, 2008 06:54 PM (cok/k)

145 "OH MAH GAWD, IT LOOKS LIKE DA EARS AWN A GAWDDAMN BASSET HOUND!!!"

I did just in fact fall over laughing. And that's not just from the booze. Or my general panther like reflexes.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 06:54 PM (xUOXi)

146 runninrebel, are we talking "Crying Game" stuff?

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 06:56 PM (O8KSM)

147 Oh, do tell... this sounds awesome! ---------- Not awesome at all. It looked like Davey Jones from Pirates 2 but wearing a Mohawk.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 06:57 PM (ocqQA)

148 In '98, I was In, and stationed in Oki, I broke up a fight between a shitty NCO, and a PFC. The shitty NCO (a Sgt) threatened the life of a gay PFC.

I forcibly kissed the PFC, then told the Sgt to threaten me.

He didn't, because I (if you know about my time in Oki) had nothing to lose. If that shitty NCO had hit me, I would have taken the hits, again and again, and destroyed his career.

And the guy I "kissed" WAS gay, but he was one hell of a Marine, can you say that about yourself Kemper? Can you say that about most of those straights you know?

I don't care who you fuck. My opposition to homosexuality only extends to marriage, other than that? they are People, just like the rest of us, and A lot of the time, they want to be VERY GOOD PEOPLE! like. . . well, by being VERY good Marines.

Give me a gay Marine, over a cocksucking hetero civilian anyday.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 06:57 PM (ul7te)

149 Can I just say how much I'm enjoying the dissonance of this thread?

I apologize if my thing with Kemp is annoying but I love the fact it's going on in the middle of a personal hygiene thread.

And this from Hollowpoint?

As to the cooter- it needs to be at least trimmed, preferably the only hair being on top. Vagina is complicated enough; having to figure it out when it's covered in hair is like trying to solve a Rubic's Cube while wearing welding gloves.

That ladies and gentlemen is why this is the bestest blog evah (well, with the exception of Allah's originall stuff...that was great)

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 06:58 PM (hlYel)

150 Okay question -

It's always been my impression that shaving the hair on a part of your face will cause it to grow back more.

Hypothetically, wouldn't the same thing apply to your nether region? I mean don't you run the risk that you stop shaving two years from now and it turns into a Brazilian rainforest?

Posted by: AD at December 30, 2008 06:58 PM (8BgQw)

151
143 tmi3rd
I don't question such things just revel in the unveiling.

Though the tackle box explosion of piercings mentioned upthread sounds scary and dangerous.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 30, 2008 06:58 PM (MOdlB)

152 Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 11:57 PM (ul7te)

And now it's a party.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 07:00 PM (hlYel)

153 "OH MAH GAWD, IT LOOKS LIKE DA EARS AWN A GAWDDAMN BASSET HOUND!!!" I would be afraid of one like that.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:00 PM (O8KSM)

154 Um, yeah, no piercings, please.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 07:01 PM (n633J)

155 Alex- happy to serve.

Rebel- So kind of like the PredAlien, in a similar fashion?

WickedPinto- Ooorah. Semper fi, Marine... and particularly for being a Marine at its most fundamental level.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:01 PM (nHN8Z)

156 "I gotta take a shower every time I shit so my ass doesn't end up looking like the lint trap in the clothes dryer." - entropy Man, you just made a weeks worth of boogers blow all over my computer screen!

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 07:01 PM (LcIae)

157

Sea story boys and girls, pull up a chair.

My ship was in Melbourne and we were going to Sydney next and I was wayyyy past the drunk stage. And had a razor with a trimmer.

So after trimming the area and snagging some hair down there (PAIN!!!) I decided to trim my my name down there, yep a big ass Joe.

Picked up this hottie first night out, brought her back to the room, dropped my drawers and she laughed. Killed the mood. Bitch.

Moral to the story, guys need a jungle down under unless the little lady says shave.

Posted by: navycopjoe at December 30, 2008 07:01 PM (WX0KB)

158

"I shaved my ass once.

Well actually I cut it. With paper scissors. Then I put 'em back in the drawer and didn't tell no one what I did with em."

This thread delivers.

Posted by: Jahiliyya at December 30, 2008 07:01 PM (mvfNc)

159 Hypothetically, wouldn't the same thing apply to your nether region? I mean don't you run the risk that you stop shaving two years from now and it turns into a Brazilian rainforest?

Yes.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:03 PM (xUOXi)

160 >>Alex has stompy boots?
Show WartHog teh boots, Alex..
(cocksuckers! Traffic or a node kicked me off)

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 07:04 PM (/i4dU)

161 Man, you just made a weeks worth of boogers blow all over my computer screen!

You can make a booger man!

Posted by: mesablue at December 30, 2008 07:05 PM (5yNaE)

162 AD-

I had to shave down for a show I did this past summer (back, arms, chest... essentially waist-up) and maintain it for six weeks. The coverage is no different- as you are probably aware, you've got to watch for ingrown hairs (tough to do on one's own back; thank God for my wife), but the main thing that happens facially is that the hair can grow back darker. As far as dark body hair goes, nothing really changes.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:05 PM (nHN8Z)

163 AD, hair doesn't grow back thicker when you shave. It just appears to because the hair has been cut and presents a blunt edge.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at December 30, 2008 07:05 PM (1C1Sl)

164 So kind of like the PredAlien, in a similar fashion? ------------------- It was like an rotated Venus Fly trap with the accompanying odor. It was hell on wheels. I never thought I wold get through it. But it was 430 in the morning, so I did.

Posted by: runninrebel at December 30, 2008 07:07 PM (ocqQA)

165 "I did just in fact fall over laughing. And that's not just from the booze. Or my general panther like reflexes." alexthechick Alex, you just calm down there darlin. Don't want you to get all worked up and stuff. Might have to cuff you and take you downtown...know whadImean?????

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 07:07 PM (LcIae)

166 So, what do they do with the slabs of flesh taken off in a labiaplasty? Shouldn't you save it for when you are old and you want a face-lift?

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:08 PM (O8KSM)

167 Rebel-

Now that I'm done laughing, you've got to love when you get down there to get to work, and this smell comes at you like running full-speed into a low-hanging steam pipe or beam. Nothing sets the mood like a smell that gags you while down there.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:08 PM (nHN8Z)

168 navycopjoe
Same thing goes if you are in a relationship sudden change in the nether regions makes them think it may be for someone else. Can kill the mood for weeks.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 30, 2008 07:09 PM (MOdlB)

169 Behold! The Jackboots of Justice!

Not just anyone deserves to be stomped by those.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:10 PM (xUOXi)

170 I had to have plastic surgery to replace an eyelid.

They needed soft skin for the graft...

Posted by: mesablue at December 30, 2008 07:10 PM (5yNaE)

171 Joe-

That must have sucked. Wait- sorry, I'm sure there wasn't much sucking at that point. That's no fun.

tmi3rd (chuckling to himself)

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:10 PM (nHN8Z)

172 Might have to cuff you

Promises, promises.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:11 PM (xUOXi)

173 I would think it would be only considerate to employ proper hygiene *whispers and points* down there. But what do I know?

I'm going to leave this thread now...

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at December 30, 2008 07:13 PM (1C1Sl)

174
Alex.
The boots must have been magnificent cause the filter won't let me see em...
Thanks anyway...nuts...

Posted by: WonderWartHog at December 30, 2008 07:14 PM (LVT6e)

175 Eman-

If you ever witness a labiaplasty, you probably wouldn't want the trimmings. Pretty nasty.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:15 PM (nHN8Z)

176

alexthechick, please don't ever post links to boots. My wife reads this blog and when she sees footwear I hear 'OOOOOoooo, got to buy!' and my bank account drains. Sarah Palin about bankrupted me.

Women and shoes/boots, wtf?

Although she does have a thing about wearing 3in heels and this is a good thing.

Posted by: navycopjoe at December 30, 2008 07:16 PM (WX0KB)

177 Behold! The Jackboots of Justice!
Posted by: alexthechick at December 31, 2008 12:10 AM (xUOXi)

I'll be in my bunk!

Sorta related...I finally saw all the episodes of Firefly I missed including War Stories which is famous for that line. Absolutely hysterical in context.

And how great a show was that? I can't believe it didn't make it.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 07:18 PM (hlYel)

178

171. That must have sucked. Wait- sorry, I'm sure there wasn't much sucking at that point. That's no fun.

beer on screen, thanks alot.

Toodles kids, the girls want dad to play rock band2.

Posted by: navycopjoe at December 30, 2008 07:18 PM (WX0KB)

179 re-plastic surgery, I had 3 surgery's on my nose.

stupid kid thing, I got hit on the bridge of my nose when I was a kid, but pops didn't want me to have scars on my face. the cut cut across both eyebrows, with a T on my nose, so I went in 3 times to have the scar tissue cut out, and then stitched tighter, and then again, and again.

I would have rather had the scar than have to deal with people wanting to fight me.

besides, facial scars build character.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:20 PM (ul7te)

180 The boots must have been magnificent cause the filter won't let me see em...

Huh. Those weren't even the porny ones. I'm going to guess it's either due to it being a tinyurl link or that it ultimately leads to photobucket which I know a lot of filters block.

alexthechick, please don't ever post links to boots.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I mean, um, I of course respect and understand your concerns.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:20 PM (xUOXi)

181 G'night, Joe. Happy New Year and best to the family.

tmi3rd

Posted by: tmi3rd at December 30, 2008 07:20 PM (nHN8Z)

182 175 Eman-

If you ever witness a labiaplasty, you probably wouldn't want the trimmings. Pretty nasty.

tmi3rd

Appeasiotomy?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:22 PM (ul7te)

183 Blame Fox. Everyone else does. They put a scifi show on Friday up against SciFi Fridays which at the time was showing SG-1 and Farscape. Idiots.

Coincidentally, where did they put Whedon's new show, Dollhouse? Friday nights. Up against the final episodes of BSG. Also against the number one show Friday Night Lights. So, kiss of death for Whedon. Unfortunately, they rescheduled the Sarah Connor Chronicles right behind it into the deathslot. Fuckers.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 07:22 PM (rWvvO)

184 According to a friend of mine, "The doc said he can stitch that up as small and tight as I want, and I liked it small."

That "friend" was ALSO my boss.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:23 PM (ul7te)

185 Can you imagine what Blago looks like? He just looks like he would be a hairy bastard.
Oh dear God who has to do that grooming?

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at December 30, 2008 07:25 PM (PBGAP)

186 "According to a friend of mine, "The doc said he can stitch that up as small and tight as I want, and I liked it small." That "friend" was ALSO my boss." wickedpinto HeeeeeeYikeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss!!

Posted by: steviej at December 30, 2008 07:25 PM (LcIae)

187 Blame Fox. Everyone else does. They put a scifi show on Friday up against SciFi Fridays which at the time was showing SG-1 and Farscape. Idiots.

That makes sense because while I'm watching the DVDs I'm thinking, 'how did I miss this show? It's great." It was 6 whole years ago in teh dark days before DVRs.

And Dollhouse sounds like an idiotic premise but it has Eliza Dushku and Amy Acker, so you know, I'm in. Plus, it's got Whedon and Tim Minear working on it, so it's got that going for it too.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 07:28 PM (hlYel)

188

Now way, uh-uh, aint gonna happen.

That'll go the way of mens' cosmetics. Women are lucky that we bother to shave our faces and splash on a little foof-juice. I aint going there.

I doubt that shaving your nads is AOS lifestyle approved.

Posted by: Max Entropy at December 30, 2008 07:28 PM (4gHqM)

189 Plus, SciFi killed "The Dresden Files". Maybe they will split the last ten episodes of BSG into 5 two-episode seasons and stretch it all out for ten more years.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:29 PM (O8KSM)

190 Oh can I start up the huge flame war about how I now loathe Whedon?

Of course, it's not much of a flame war since I have no problems with other people liking his stuff and I'd watch Eliza Dushku read the phone book so I will watch Dollhouse.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:29 PM (xUOXi)

191 As much as I loves me some Eliza Dushku, I still liked Sarah Michelle Gellar better back in the old days (she's not aging particularly well).

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 07:32 PM (n633J)

192 My opposition to homosexuality only extends to marriage..WP Awesome comment! Where the FUCK were you when the libtard SC in Ma. shoved it down our throats? I am surrounded by Pussies by Phillips.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 07:32 PM (/i4dU)

193 Eliza is a good dancer. I am willing to share her with you, alex.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:32 PM (O8KSM)

194 nothing says "i am not a straight man, and i shouldn't be dating you" like a shaved chest and tooo trimmed patch. as a woman i prefer chest hair, and appreciate a man who doesn't pluck his eye brows (hate that!).

if a guy is truly suffering from a case of hirsuteness then that has to be handled delicately. i mean, if the guy has furry arms, furry legs, and poof! a bare chest... well, that just looks D U M B. you can get electrolysis treatments to handle this malady... but normal chest hair? it's fine! leave it!

guys...honestly, just take care of yourselves without overdoing it.. you don't have to be hung like a walrus...or taller then a lamp post...or drive a ferrari... just be yourself... don't be 20 plus lbs over weight...and don't wear flip flops to a wedding...if you keep these hints in mind things will be fine!

Posted by: annak at December 30, 2008 07:32 PM (uKy/2)

195 Foxes Sci-Fi Fridays, as they apply to, specificaly, Firefly was because of Baseball.

Firefly was a midseason premiere, and they broke up the episodes, and did everything they could to harm Firefly.

In Football seasons Sci-fi series can survive, and it's not just Fox thats at fault.

Journeyman, an excellent series died because of sports competition, and exactly how many networks/channels has Stargate been a part of? Showtime, HBO, Fox, even WPR and Sci-fi, and TNT, same with Babylon 5.

SHITTY SCHEDULING, because the networks think that Sci-fi is a niche programming option, they can put the sci-fi whereever they please and the fans will find it.

what? and why? cuz sci-fi fans actually CARE about the series? isn't that a reason to NOT fuck with sci-fi fans?

Law and Order fans (of which I'm one, I've seen EVERY SINGLE ONE of them) were fucked with when the law and order spinoff, Crime and Punishment, was originaly friday, then tuesday, then wednesday, then, pre-recorded Crime and Punishments took the place of ER on thursday cuz of the strike, then it came in on SATURADAY AT 9PM!?!?!

Crime and Punishment was a good show, and killed cuz program managers are idiots.

Just like how Stargate got kicked from regular networds because of sports, just like how FireFly got kicked from networks.

The networks are stupid, and Sci-Fi is probably the most loyal LITERATE class in the US, if not the world.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:33 PM (ul7te)

196 185 Can you imagine what Blago looks like?

Oh, HELL NO. MrsPauls you've crossed a line.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 30, 2008 07:35 PM (rWvvO)

197 Firefly was a midseason premiere, and they broke up the episodes, and did everything they could to harm Firefly.

Another thing they did was refuse to air the two hour pilot first. They made Minear and Whedon write a new first episode over a weekend that became the pilot.

It was a good episode (The Train Job) but Firefly was so odd a world (a sci-fi western?) that you needed the time to get your bearings. I don't think it ever did.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 07:37 PM (hlYel)

198 StevieJ?

I was actually dating that friend / bosses sister at the time, and I have a term "3P" which equals, "Platinum plated pussy."

The sister (the one I was dating/banging) let that out to her sister (my sorta boss) and while I was working one day, I got pissed off, and I said to myself (out loud) "clean shiney smooth concave, and complete" (it's a mantra for micro-min) because I fucked up.

and my girlfriends sister (my boss) was right next to me while I was staring into the microscope and said something like, "If only it were platinum plated."

Count me embarassed for about a month.

I still banged her sister, but knowing my sorta boss knew the phrase was embarassing.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:39 PM (ul7te)

199 Yeahp drew.

The 2 hour pilot set the stage for so many situations and plot tools, but, while the train job is a decent episode, when you are on the in, it was a shitty opener.

A space opera, that has no space in it? eroo?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:43 PM (ul7te)

200

I doubt that shaving your nads is AOS lifestyle approved.

Nonsense. It's called integrity- one should always be courteous enough to shave his balls before teabagging his date.

Just because we're morons doesn't mean we can't be considerate like that.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 30, 2008 07:44 PM (zE8dV)

201 Keeping a show like Firefly on the schedule would not have cost Fox a nickel. But, Network execs always think tactically and narrowly. The quality of Firefly was obvious to anyone that cared to look. Didn't these geniuses look? If they are so smart why didn't they find a way to make Firefly more well known? Think of the $$$ it could have made. But, no, they are not smart. They just keep rolling dice until they happen to strike it rich.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:44 PM (O8KSM)

202 Yep. Starts with discussions of bits and pussy and devolves to Sci-Fi.

Every. Single. Time.

You'd think this was a Moron Blog or something...

So. When you are skinning your hobo, do you pluck them, too? I don't like the taste of hair myself....

Posted by: bmeuppls at December 30, 2008 07:46 PM (lNXkY)

203 #196
There was this episode early on in the series Malcolm in the Middle when Lois was shaving the husband. He was standing in the kitchen, naked, reading the newspaper while she was doing the deed. It has been burned into my memory. I can only imagine that if Blago is as hairy as I think he is if he sees his shadow in February we will have six more weeks of winter.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at December 30, 2008 07:47 PM (PBGAP)

204 But, no, they are not smart. They just keep rolling dice until they happen to strike it rich.

In fairness, for the most part the people at Fox are pretty much geniuses at what they do.

Don't forget the network is about 20 years old. In that time they've taken on competitors with a 40 year brand head start and now Fox pretty much is the top dog on broadcast.

So yeah, they misfired badly with a great show but over all, they've kicked ass.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 07:48 PM (hlYel)

205 Fox is bold, but fox also is a bunch of pussies.

They give everything to sports, and fuck up their standard programing.

Example. . . .

has the third episode of 24 been broadcast yet?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:53 PM (ul7te)

206 Another Excellent series? When is "Life" on?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 07:54 PM (ul7te)

207

Drew,

I am going to bed. You've been around here a long time. Gabe mentioned his Gheyness many many weeks ago, NOT tonight. I thought you would understand that was what I was referring to.

Obviously not, how many posts back do I need to go? The most recent? Prop 8 passed and he said he was sad that night. That would be Nov. But Gabe has been very honest and not that homo centric until recently. Seems like all the PC crowd, aka yourselfs, is more concerned about this than Gabe.

As I said earlier, lets give this shit up.

Happy New Year, cocksucker,

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at December 30, 2008 07:55 PM (2+9Yx)

208 can only imagine that if Blago is as hairy as I think he is

I'm assuming Robin Williams level hairy. Which, just, no.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:56 PM (xUOXi)

209 Life is just taking a Christmas break. Don't sweat it yet.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 07:56 PM (n633J)

210 Patty does Blago?
Now I am banned.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 07:56 PM (/i4dU)

211 *scratches ATC off the list*

Damn...

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 07:57 PM (n633J)

212 Life got picked up for a full season which fills me with joy.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 07:58 PM (xUOXi)

213 DrewM, I get what your saying and I was a bit harsh. But, OTOH, what does it take to set up an effective process for evaluating a show and it's potential? Meh, I'm tired and cranky. Time for a quick nut shave, then bed.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 07:59 PM (O8KSM)

214 Me too. Is it easier in the shower?

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 08:01 PM (/i4dU)

215 But, OTOH, what does it take to set up an effective process for evaluating a show and it's potential?

I'm guessing it's a lot more art and luck than skill. Look at the shit that gets on air and now imagine how bad some of the stuff that got snuffed out at the pilot level had to be.

At the same time, look at some of the crap that is successful.

It seems rather random what catches on and what doesn't. Can you imagine what it's like to have your job depend upon the good taste of the average American TV viewer? Yikes.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 08:03 PM (hlYel)

216 Posted by: kempermanx at December 31, 2008 12:55 AM (2+9Yx)

Something tells me we're going to have this conversation again.

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 08:04 PM (hlYel)

217 >It seems rather random what catches on and what doesn't. Can you imagine what it's like to have your job depend upon the good taste of the average American TV viewer? Yikes.
Obummer in a nutshell.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 08:04 PM (/i4dU)

218 Later, folks.

Posted by: eman at December 30, 2008 08:06 PM (O8KSM)

219 happy new year

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 08:06 PM (/i4dU)

220 Part of the influence is "How much does this show cost to produce compared to how much it makes".

Firefly cost an arm and a leg to produce. Life is relatively cheap.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 08:06 PM (n633J)

221 Part of the influence is "How much does this show cost to produce compared to how much it makes".

That's part of the reason reality tv is so big right now, the costs are far less compared to a scripted show.

Posted by: alexthechick at December 30, 2008 08:08 PM (xUOXi)

222 Okay Kemper, if Gabe was gay back when, why are you being a dick now?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 30, 2008 08:09 PM (ul7te)

223 The writer's strike didn't help there, either, ATC. That's when the studios figured out they could do a lot of cheap programming for minimal loss of revenue.

Posted by: XBradTC at December 30, 2008 08:12 PM (n633J)

224 Another thing that hurts the broadcast networks too is cable attracts a lot of the best talent.

There's enough money now on basic and premium channels that good writers are willing to work there. The culture is different in that networks like USA, TNT or FX, not to mention HBO, etc are willing to push boundaries more. That doesn't just mean sex and language but the types of stories and characters that can be shown.

You'd never see Rescue Me or The Shield on broadcast but they are great shows. If you are a producer/writer where do you want to go work?

Posted by: DrewM. at December 30, 2008 08:13 PM (hlYel)

225 OK, first, June 2007 for the original use of "optical inches"??? Try June 5, 2006: http://tinyurl.com/96oebw (and yes, see Comment #2) Maybe Ace was trying to tell us something even back then - if only Kemp had said something.

Second, Kemp, WTF? By which I mean, what the fucking fuck? This is getting to be a bad habit, man.

ATC, I was hanging around with the rest of the guys enjoying the way you were working it - and then the Whedon crack. Really? I mean, as a person he seems like kind of a prick to me, but I would never have figured you for a Buffy hater. Now I feel so confused toward you. Maybe you should flirt some more. Yes, with those boots.

Bikini, Brazilian, hearts and flowers: Any trim is a good one as long as you can find the equipment. But not flossing later is priceless.

The reality TV thing can't last any more than variety shows did (and they would have been pretty cheap productions too). I just wish it would die faster. Agree with DrewM about where the quality shows are found now.

Rambling. Enjoyed the read you sick, sick morons. Later.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at December 30, 2008 08:41 PM (o2slJ)

226 This thread went to shit right about here:

So, what do they do with the slabs of flesh taken off in a labiaplasty?

The correct answer was "Next time you order sausage at IHOP and they ask if you want links or patties, you say patties."

Now it's too late. Dorkfest.

Posted by: Fail Spotter at December 30, 2008 08:45 PM (EVXuq)

227 Oh wow. So I go out for just a couple of beers, and when I get back it's all "racing stripe" this and "sci-fi" that and people getting mad at each other because kemp's a douchebag and AOS is the best blog evah!!!!!!!eleven!!! nobody can disagree with that one! wow you all are the shit. no really. i'm going to bed but i'm not taking a pair of scissors with me. i swear. good night all. and i'm not taking wax to bed either. nuh-uh.

Posted by: chemjeff at December 30, 2008 08:49 PM (vkmUf)

228

happy new year!

ow that hurts

Posted by: chemjeff at December 30, 2008 08:51 PM (vkmUf)

229 Pardon me while I go beat up Jahi. You mean beat up his coin purse, you little minx

Posted by: Donkey Lips at December 30, 2008 10:04 PM (oKlJy)

230 Israel just rejected truce! Troops firing into Gaza from their positions.
They are going all the way..to Iran I bet!
Telepromter Jesus is history! Praise Allah.
I can't imagine Moobs not having a meltdown. He/she is a hobo!
Git yer ammo..

Posted by: sickinmass at December 30, 2008 10:09 PM (/i4dU)

231 Whoa. Malor could post a funny. Who knew? ...and it wasn't old to me. And the whole thing *was* funny. ESPECIALLY the Guide, with it's "...good chat-up lines are crucial" and "when women ...are out on the pull". You get one free pass for this one, Gabe. Use it wisely.

Posted by: davis, br at December 30, 2008 10:45 PM (OJAxK)

232 trimming the weeds at the base of the trunk makes the condom stay on better when you have an unusually large penis.

Posted by: Jones in CO at December 30, 2008 11:17 PM (KOkrW)

233 kemp,

Has anyone approached you about the ironic kickline yet? No? Ok then
That's the attitude. You're sure to win friends and enemas any day now. Just keep kicking!

Posted by: adamthemad at December 31, 2008 12:31 AM (aUyuV)

234

Something tells me we're going to have this conversation again.

No offence intended, Drew, but bloody fucking Satan-cocksucking hell. Just get the stupid, rude, faggit fuck banned already. I'm sick of this drama bullshit and thread derailing. Grow a big hairy pair (trim as needed).

This an appropriately awesome thread about genitals and the shaving thereof. Not about Gabe's sexual preferences, or Kemp's repressed homosexuality and associated homophobia. But you keep feeding the fire instead of doing what every fucking moron reading this thread knows must be done.

You don't show up at a party and tell the host that one of his VIP guests should be thrown out because you don't like the way he shaves his balls, and then go on and on about it after being asked to shut the fuck up about it. Not without being shown the fucking door.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 31, 2008 01:59 AM (zE8dV)

235 First, speaking as a 100% certified homo cocksucker, I believe that men should not shave or trim below the neck -- at least not if they want into my bedroom. Trimming body hair creates the appearance of those "Wooly Willy" toys where you'd use a magnet to give the little cartoon dude a beard, mustache, and toupee made out of iron filings. And shaving it off altogether is completely nasty, suggesting either latent pedophilic urges or some sort of fetish for cetaceans.

Second, the guy in the Philips ad bears a striking resemblance to Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy, thus giving me an additional reason to completely hate this product and wish death on everyone associated with its development and manufacture.

Posted by: Throbert McGee at December 31, 2008 02:04 AM (tdnmJ)

236 Throbert Funny.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at December 31, 2008 02:55 AM (ul7te)

237 This is coming from a hard right evangelical: Kemp, you are a giant douchebag, and wrong about this subject oh so much. It was a funny link, even if old. Nobody cares that you are afraid that you will turn gay if you read something. Are you one of those Andrew Sullivan fever dream Christianists come true? How sad. I hope a reference about me being straight doesnt get my speech censored in the future, when it isnt PC to be straight.

Posted by: greg s at December 31, 2008 03:09 AM (DlMoL)

238 Bring me ... a SHRUBBERY!

Posted by: The Knights Who Say "Neat" at December 31, 2008 03:33 AM (o2slJ)

239

Missed all the fun. Darnit.

Kemp, tell me a little bit about your father.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 31, 2008 04:20 AM (VEBC3)

240 I actually got a written warning for sexual harrassment at work because some leftist psycho african american woman subordinate overheard me discussing this product as used on the Howard Stern show that morning (she was a couple of cubicles down from the conversation). It was a funny radio bit I was relaying to another female employee in purely clean language. For appearances of fairness they also gave the female employee a warning. EEOC exposure is the pits.

Posted by: polynikes at December 31, 2008 05:01 AM (m2CN7)

241 I, for one, welcome our new hairless overlords.

Posted by: vivi at December 31, 2008 05:45 AM (kujfG)

242 Forget this product. The best and easiest way to get trimed up is to lay flat on your back and let your wife trim you up with the weed whacker.

Posted by: Sparky at December 31, 2008 06:19 AM (J1f2W)

243

my take is that if drew is some kind of boss here then he/she attempt to act like one (re gabe/kemp)

at the outset parties should have been told to take it off-line with drew to moderate if necessary, yet einstein decides to air the dirty laundry in public...smooth move

and typically once a bite is taken the feeding frenzy begins by the lemming shark morons

can't stand it when mother fuckers gang up, deserved or not

Posted by: ugly kid joe at December 31, 2008 09:31 AM (QOu25)

244 Vibram shoesl is designed to cradle the foot, and not just protect it from the pounding, but Vibram Five Fingers shoes to optimize a Five Finger shoes runner's gait in such a way that a person can run longer and faster.Buy without worrying about injury.

Posted by: saly sa at April 11, 2011 05:01 AM (jQ3Gm)

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