August 13, 2008

And Now They Found Bigfoot!
— Ace

And his dead body will be revealed on Friday, yo!


Bigfoot, 1941-2008. He is survived by his wife,
Mavis, and his children, Bethany and "Little Bigs" Bigfoot Jr.

Bigfoot is believe to have died of AIDS-related pneumonia. And also, mange.

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape — and that they'll reveal all at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., on Friday.

...

Matthew Whitton, a cop in Clayton County, Ga., and his friend Rick Dyer, a former corrections officer, say they recently found the body in the woods of northern Georgia.

Apparently he moved from Northern California to Georgia when he was relocated in his job at Northrup-Grumman.

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

Posted by: Ace at 04:39 PM | Comments (79)
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Actually, Bigfoot made 3. #2 was the Edwards baby.

Posted by: notropis at August 13, 2008 04:41 PM (SP6mZ)

2

Posted by: lorien1973 at August 13, 2008 04:42 PM (fE4SP)

3

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

Jersey Devil Found!

He caught travelling to NYC for HoboCon and hadn't gotten the news.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at August 13, 2008 04:43 PM (2IG4D)

4 All that's left is Nessie. With an alien in its belly.

Posted by: lorien1973 at August 13, 2008 04:43 PM (fE4SP)

5 ... Helen Thomas will wash up onshore in Daytona Beach.

Posted by: Macy at August 13, 2008 04:45 PM (shwci)

6

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

 - A close associate of Obama's that loves America!

Posted by: SeeBS at August 13, 2008 04:47 PM (Mv4LA)

7 ... Helen Thomas will wash up onshore in Daytona Beach.

It was my understanding that there would be no obscenity.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at August 13, 2008 04:56 PM (XsrOH)

8 Where's Mike?

Posted by: mesablue at August 13, 2008 04:57 PM (5yNaE)

9 Umm, David, I mean.


Posted by: mesablue at August 13, 2008 04:59 PM (5yNaE)

10 The funny thing...they found Bigfoot under Obama's bus.

Posted by: Rocks at August 13, 2008 05:06 PM (7rbe9)

11

Yeah, right. Next you'll be seeing Eskimos.

Posted by: flan at August 13, 2008 05:07 PM (4omxE)

12

Ever seen the Chupacabra and Howard Dean in the same room?

I didn't think so...

Posted by: sherlock at August 13, 2008 05:08 PM (ojW85)

13 Helen Thomas will wash up onshore in Daytona Beach.

She already washed up on Montauk.

Posted by: Benson at August 13, 2008 05:09 PM (qzcNU)

14 Cthulhu!

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 13, 2008 05:11 PM (CrSOk)

15

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

Manbearpig!

EXCELSIOR!!

Posted by: Al Gore at August 13, 2008 05:18 PM (FL/94)

16 A lib protester in a shower.

Posted by: Wilhelm Klink at August 13, 2008 05:23 PM (GGhvX)

17

It seems that someone involved in this hoax mindblowing discovery has a history of bigfoot hoaxes.

From the HA link:

This is not the first time a Bigfoot body has been claimed to have been found. A man named Tom Biscardi, founder of something called the Great American Bigfoot Research Organization, once claimed he had captured a Bigfoot. On Aug. 19, 2005, Biscardi appeared on the radio show "Coast to Coast with George Noory." Biscardi claimed his group had captured a Bigfoot a week earlier, a male beast that weighed over 400 pounds and stood 8-feet tall. He said he would be presenting photos of it several days later. It turned out to be a hoax.

Interestingly, Biscardi is also involved in the new Bigfoot body discovery.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 13, 2008 05:28 PM (plsiE)

18 Where are the monkeymen from India that terrorized the country a few years ago?!

Posted by: Thrush at August 13, 2008 05:30 PM (ww074)

19

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

THE MESSIAH.

 

 

Like shooting hobos in a soup kitchen.

Posted by: shank at August 13, 2008 05:40 PM (HfjkQ)

20

No.  Scratch that.

 

Like shooting hobos in a boxcar

 

Posted by: shank at August 13, 2008 05:42 PM (HfjkQ)

21 I thought Bigfoot was supposed to dwell out west somewhere. How did its body end up in fucking Georgia? Did the Russkies get a hold of it and dump it there on their way out, just to get a rise out of Saakashvili?

Oops, wrong Georgia. But I'm still calling bullshit on this one.

Posted by: Joshua at August 13, 2008 06:00 PM (qEt/a)

22 Umm, lessee... Putin *invades* Georgia. One week later, Bigfoot turns up there. Coincidence ? I think not. I think it is all part of a carefully laid plan to gather all our enemies in one place, then plaster them with thermobaric superweapons, thus ensuring Peace for All Time.

Posted by: Carl in N.H. at August 13, 2008 06:01 PM (oKRdw)

23 Having been born and raised in northern Georgia, I can safely claim that I have NEVER heard of any Bigfoot being around in the region.

They must have found Zell Miller hiding up in Young Harris.

Posted by: Techie at August 13, 2008 06:01 PM (++gKn)

24 FINALLY!

We'll now all see the connection between the shoe size and the Bigfoot cock!


Posted by: mrclark at August 13, 2008 06:03 PM (YAvmF)

25 This explains the googlelanche I've been getting on my old NH Man Claims He Was Molested By Bigfoot post. It's perennially one of my top posts, but over 1,300 hits and counting in one day has not been the norm.


Posted by: Nice Deb at August 13, 2008 06:03 PM (rpUFK)

26 Here's a picture of the bigfoot hunters, and "the creature".

Posted by: Nice Deb at August 13, 2008 06:16 PM (rpUFK)

27 Mysterious creature #3 right here.

Posted by: Nice Deb at August 13, 2008 06:45 PM (rpUFK)

28

I followed the link.  Pictures can be faked, so can carcasses.

The verbal account of vital statistics could describe my Italian father-in-law.  In fact, if they found a jogging suit and gold chain nearby, well, it IS my father-in-law.  He lives in Georgia.  I'm gonna call to make sure he's home. . .

Posted by: Big Dan at August 13, 2008 06:53 PM (YBGdN)

29

Actually they just found aces last date still hammered from an all nighter of swilling Vodka and hunting hobos. 

And I'm really pissed he treated my sister that way.

You could at least have left her cab fare,,,

 

Posted by: bcismar at August 13, 2008 07:08 PM (GvB2v)

30

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape

Fucking russians killed bigfoot?!?!

Now we see the machivellian plans unfold!

Posted by: Entropy at August 13, 2008 07:14 PM (HgAV0)

31 Supposedly there was a Bigfoot up by me a few weeks ago.  The news had great fun going in the woods looking for it.

Posted by: alexthechick at August 13, 2008 08:54 PM (jCGID)

32 The peeping tom Grey was the first I believe, so Mr Foot would be three.

Posted by: Javems at August 13, 2008 08:57 PM (/IQA9)

33

"All that's left is Nessie. With an alien in its belly."

Wasn't Nessie killed by Global Warming last year?

Posted by: Don Carne at August 13, 2008 09:03 PM (wSNS7)

34

Hey, I didn't have time to come to the defense of the Bigfoot is Plausible guy in the other thread, but I meant to. 

Just because a bunch of fucktards believe a bunch of fucked up stuff doesn't mean that something outside the conventional wisdom can't be true.  There's a syllogism or a fallacy or something about that.

I'm hoping this Sasquatch corpse turns out to be legit.  Knock a bunch of smarty-pantses back on their heels.

Posted by: Prufrock at August 13, 2008 09:07 PM (vISQb)

35

 ... Helen Thomas will wash up onshore in Daytona Beach.

Didn't she just wash up on the beach in Montauk?

Posted by: Don Carne at August 13, 2008 09:08 PM (wSNS7)

36

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?


AP-NEW YORK  It was revealed at a press conference today that Dr. Shmuel Levinson, a Manhattan urologist, discovered  that former President Bill Clinton's penis was dry during a recent, routine examination.

"The penis has been moved to an undisclosed location for further tests", said Levinson, as he hurriedly packed for the Hamptons. "I have nothing further to share".

---Hey, it could happen.




Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at August 13, 2008 09:10 PM (RvSdO)

37 Didn't a chimpanzee disappear into the woods in California about a month and a half ago? I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of yahoos happened upon its partially decomposed corpse and thought it was bigfoot.

Posted by: Big S at August 13, 2008 09:33 PM (9N+m3)

38 This is not the Bigfoot that I knew.

Posted by: Barak Obama at August 13, 2008 09:35 PM (qm2ea)

39

After... driving it to northern Georgia. 

Yeah, I'll buy that.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 13, 2008 09:48 PM (CrSOk)

40

I work in Palo Alto, so I'll let y'all know if I spot any relatives showing up.

 

(Although it does seem that many of their women already live there, many with Obama stickers on their Subaru Foresters)

Posted by: Max Power at August 13, 2008 10:05 PM (ZdsL4)

41 Why does "PT Barnum" pop to mind when I read this post?  Wasn't he the
one who said something about "suckers" (and not of the cock variety either although the intersection of the two sets might not be null)?

Suddenly, there is a scream from the crowd gathered to see this so-called "Big Foot" now laying dead before them.  "Is that you, Kenny? Kenny???  Oh, my God ... they killed Kenny."


Posted by: prairiemain at August 13, 2008 10:20 PM (oPAYR)

42 They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

Who do ya fucking think...fucking Nessie is next.  Some drunk Scot will find her dead, bloated carcass wash up on shore.

"Remember when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"

Posted by: Eeyore's Swinging Sack at August 13, 2008 10:30 PM (YgHC2)

43

#3: Obama's wacky ptsd uncle in the attic.  Complete with Operation Auschwitz medal of valor.

Posted by: Hadlowe at August 14, 2008 12:06 AM (zK1MQ)

44 Investigated & debunked already, according to this post on a bigfoot site followed by an appearance from the cop on the message board admitting the hoax. Obviously that could be a sock puppet, but there appear to be some real discrepancies besides the photo looking like a fake monkey suit.

Posted by: krakatoa at August 14, 2008 12:12 AM (/FUhT)

45 Hoax.
Here is the costume they used.

Posted by: dprVIII at August 14, 2008 12:13 AM (4XUD3)

46 Jersey Devil

Posted by: mojo at August 14, 2008 12:14 AM (X19ob)

47 They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

Um, an Ewok?

Posted by: DBinSD at August 14, 2008 12:28 AM (oMN0T)

48 So that's where Jimmy Hoffa has been all this time.  They brain wiped him and turned him loose in the woods.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at August 14, 2008 04:39 AM (Ub4J5)

49

They come in threes. The Chupacabra, Bigfoot... who's next?

 

The clitoris?

Posted by: turtle at August 14, 2008 05:58 AM (PWj7B)

50 You laugh,

I trained big-foot to ride a bicycle while juggling ping-pong balls.

How did you think, he got from Northern California to Georgia?

Posted by: franksalterego at August 14, 2008 06:37 AM (QdFjo)

51 What's next? Yeti? Jack-a-lope? Edwards' political career? McCain's political compass? Hillary's humility? The Obamessiah's miracle cures?

Posted by: Trubador at August 14, 2008 07:49 AM (MlrAE)

52 Seems like an easy way to kill your mother-in-law and dress her up in a suit.

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