March 31, 2010

Voyeurs: Pete Sessions Held Fundraiser at Vegas Burlesque Club
— Ace

Yeah, wowzers. A burlesque club. Your grandfather's idea of having a rowdy dickens of a time, right up there with driving around their auto-cycles with a flapper in the sidecar shaking their mitts at layabouts and rapscallions and vowing, "Why I oughtta...!"

But -- oh! -- at one point PORN STAR JENNA JAMESON!!1!!eleventy! had a birthday party there that very year, so... you know.

[O]ne of the fundraisers, held in 2007, was at a Vegas burlesque club, Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce. FEC papers show Pete PAC spent $5,378 at the burlesque club, which also that year hosted porn-star Jenna Jameson's 33rd birthday party.

Our old pal Mary Ann Akers who writes the Sleuth column for the Washington Post's website also wrote about another more low key event at a racy Vegas club called Tao held in February 2009.

Tao is racy? Tao attracts a young party crowd, but what, exactly, makes it "racy"? Its Asian fusion menu?

It's one of the biggest, most popular and most imitated nightclubs in Vegas. It's not a goddamn key party.

Pete Sessions' fundraiser was most assuredly not taking place on late Saturday night/early Sunday morning when a bunch of out-of-towners are there Red-Bulling off their drunk and getting photographed for Hot Chicks With Douchebags.

It was just held at the place, for God's sakes. Because it has a racy amount of square-footage and offers a racy competitive price for catered affairs and racy complimentary Ginger Wasabi Salads for parties of 50 or more.

Behold the Narrative -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

Posted by: Ace at 02:37 PM | Comments (388)
Post contains 283 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Damnit

Posted by: Bomber at March 31, 2010 02:40 PM (d88g9)

2 -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed." Sweet .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 02:40 PM (a9UO0)

3 Whoa, unbanned and first.  Cool.

Posted by: Bomber at March 31, 2010 02:41 PM (d88g9)

4 I'm unqualified to comment on this post, as I'm sitting shitfaced in a penguin costume surfing pr0n.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 02:41 PM (C8Pcc)

5 This is how they are going to stave off the avalanche in November??

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 02:41 PM (O0lWK)

6 Maybe I can get an invite to a Republican fund-raiser sometime soon.

Posted by: Bomber at March 31, 2010 02:41 PM (d88g9)

7

...all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

The AoSHQ "lifestyle" finally takes root in popular culture.

Posted by: Someguy in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:42 PM (F09Uo)

8 Fundraising ain't no thang.

Chilling on donor's dime.  Thang.

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 02:42 PM (EioPx)

9

There is a difference between Christian Conservatives and Victorian Prudes.

I don't care who scrogs whom. Just honor your vows.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 02:42 PM (dQdrY)

10 *Sigh* Hot Chicks WIth Douchebags.  My wife made me cancel my subscription because she was afraid my daughter would see pictures of David Brooks if I left it laying around the house.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at March 31, 2010 02:43 PM (QKKT0)

11 Stupid, stupid sock

Posted by: Cicero at March 31, 2010 02:43 PM (QKKT0)

12 My kind of people!

Posted by: Megan McCain at March 31, 2010 02:43 PM (Kn9r7)

13 Damn sock!

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:43 PM (F09Uo)

14 #10:  Yeah, I'm a Steeler fan and our kicker is a repeat offender on HCWDB.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 02:44 PM (C8Pcc)

15 >>>Chilling on donor's dime. Thang. Well, Amused, please tell me the proper venue for a $500 a plate fundraiser. Maybe a nice dry refrigerator box?

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 02:44 PM (i6ROy)

16 Michael Steele just lost Tony Perkins!

When you've lost Tony Perkins people ask "who the fuck is Tony Perkins"?

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 02:44 PM (EbpbH)

17 who the fuck is Tony Perkins?

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 02:45 PM (C8Pcc)

18 If you can't tie up Lesbians, what fucking use are they?

Posted by: Mister Rogers at March 31, 2010 02:45 PM (KXW8j)

19

The Hostesses at Tao are only, technically, dressed.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2010 02:45 PM (eoYH6)

20 May as well get this crap over and done with now.  Everytime I have been to Vegas, I wouldn't call it a fundraiser, so I give him kudos.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes, the site owner at March 31, 2010 02:45 PM (7VvJB)

21 A refrigerator box... filled with hookers.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:46 PM (F09Uo)

22 Starting today, all fundraisers for the Republican National Committee will be held at the Hometown Buffet.

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 02:47 PM (QKKT0)

23 @21
...and blow.  Don't forget the blow. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 02:47 PM (Kn9r7)

24 I look forward to all the senior citizen church-basement lesbian-themed fundraisers.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 02:47 PM (AZGON)

25 These girls are an embarrassment.  Amateurs, the lot of 'em!

Posted by: Zombie Sally Rand at March 31, 2010 02:47 PM (7AOgy)

26 Let me be clear, Ace:

I don't care at all if they fund raise in a Burlesque Club or a strip club or Barney Frank's apartment.  That's collecting money. 

I do care if they spend donor's money in a Burlesque Club, a strip club, or Barney Frank's apartment. 

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 02:47 PM (EioPx)

27 The RNC should only raise money from concerned Christian conservatives at yard sales and swap meets. 

Posted by: Purity Republican at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (Kn9r7)

28 who the fuck is Tony Perkins? Fucking idiot . He's the guy who did Mutual of Obamahas Wild Kingdom .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (a9UO0)

29

Behold the Narrative -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

---------------------

Hopefully not Congress

Posted by: William Amos at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (PXTi8)

30 Some of y'all are veering dangerously near having the vapors over the idea that somewhere out there is having a good time at dinner. If you didn't donate, it's not your money at all, and it's not your worry. If you DID donate, but not a lot, well, you have to realize that if you're donating $50 or so, they can't really take you out to dinner, because doing so would cost nearly as much as your donation -- more when you add in the administrative costs of doing so. If you did donate more than $500 but didn't get a nice dinner -- I don't know what to tell you. These rubber-chicken dinners are going on all the time and if you WANT to go you can always buy a ticket to these things. If you wanted the donation to be pure, without those costs, why the shrilling about it? Other people view these things as social/networking things and want the rubber chicken dinner in exchange for their donation.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (i6ROy)

31 If you can't tie up Lesbians, what fucking use are they?

Posted by: Mister Rogers at March 31, 2010 07:45 PM (KXW8j)

They aren't fucking use.  That's what makes them lesbians.  D'oy!

Posted by: stuiec at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (7AOgy)

32
It’s time for Americans to realize that governing is hard work, and that  Republican fundraisers can’t just PUNCH DOWN and expect to fix everything,

Posted by: Ellie somelight at March 31, 2010 02:48 PM (4y0YU)

33 22 @21
...and blow.  Don't forget the blow. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 07:47 PM (Kn9r7)

Best fundraiser, EVER!

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:49 PM (F09Uo)

34 who the fuck is Tony Perkins? Fucking idiot . He's the guy who did Mutual of Obamahas Wild Kingdom . I hacked up Marlon Perkins in the shower to get the job.

Posted by: Tony Perkins at March 31, 2010 02:49 PM (AZGON)

35 27 The RNC should only raise money from concerned Christian conservatives at yard sales and swap meets. 

Posted by: Purity Republican at March 31, 2010 07:48 PM (Kn9r7)

Wife swap meets?

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 02:49 PM (KXW8j)

36 Stories coming right up:

Mitt Romney has had Sex with a Woman at Least Five Separate Times

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 02:49 PM (PepU0)

37 >>>I do care if they spend donor's money in a Burlesque Club, a strip club, or Barney Frank's apartment. Fundraisers exist explicitly to bring in more money than they cost, dude. They're not freaking just taking out random people to Tao. If you're AT this thing, you're paying more than the costs of the meal.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 02:50 PM (i6ROy)

38

So, what, the liberals are going to start portraying the Republicans as the party of loose sexual morals? Are they suddenly going to be the "family values" party instead?

I know that the liberals are always screaming about the Republicans sexual indiscretions because somehow it makes them "hypocrites" but I'm not sure pursuing this line of attack to its logical conclusion will end up working so well for them.

"The New Republicans, Not your Father's Party" with shots of young, attractive people cavorting.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at March 31, 2010 02:50 PM (RZ8pf)

39 I don't care at all if they fund raise in a Burlesque Club or a strip club or Barney Frank's apartment.  That's collecting money. 

I do care if they spend donor's money in a Burlesque Club, a strip club, or Barney Frank's apartment.

All organizations spend funds to raise money.  Donors who are concerned about the possibility of their gifts being used a certain way should designate their gifts.

I still haven't seen what the cost to raise a dollar is for the RNC.  Has anyone seen that published anywhere? 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 02:50 PM (Kn9r7)

40 You HAVE heard of the "Rubber Chicken Circuit," right? You know that "donors' money" is used to buy that rubber chicken, right?

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 02:51 PM (i6ROy)

41 I had sex with Sarah Palin's cocker spaniel!

Posted by: Drunk Wasilla neighbor at March 31, 2010 02:51 PM (KXW8j)

42 Tony Perkins did Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom?  Then who the fuck is Tony Danza?

Posted by: Cicero at March 31, 2010 02:51 PM (QKKT0)

43

...and the Forty Deuce Dancers, yuh-huh.

Posted by: garrett at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (eoYH6)

44
I don't like Sessions but this is just so fucking predictable a move by the dems.  They know they're in for a pounding in November so they are desperately looking for anything to bash republicans.  Sickening.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (378s+)

45 I still haven't seen what the cost to raise a dollar is for the RNC.  Has anyone seen that published anywhere? 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 07:50 PM (Kn9r7)

$1.80

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (QKKT0)

46 @35
Wife swap meets?

How you doin'?

Posted by: Mr. Y-not's husband at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (Kn9r7)

47 They're fucking General Tao's chicken.

Posted by: andycanuck at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (KdA1d)

48

And?

It's a fundraiser. People knew how they were throwing down their scratch.

Drop some scratch, leave scratching. Sign of a good night right there.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 02:52 PM (hS7s5)

49

Wife swap meets?

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 07:49 PM (KXW8j)

Ex-wife swapping DUDE!

Do you know how awesome that would be?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (F09Uo)

50 Just for fun, google "zombie Folsom Street Fair," and go through the pictures until you get to  the guy with the Obama sign.

This is how Democrats unofficially fund raise.

Posted by: shibumi at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (OKZrE)

51 Who the fuck even uses a word like 'racy'? Is that a code word? It certainly does contain most of the letters in 'racist'.

Posted by: dr kill at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (w9bVp)

52 Behold the Narrative -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

I guess it beats the previous, Republicans are all closet gays, and we hate those kind of people hur hur line from the left and the MSM...

Posted by: 18-1 at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (bgcml)

53 Stories coming right up:

Boehner Eyes Pelosi's Seat

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (PepU0)

54 from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

This should be a plank in the platform.

Posted by: mpur at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (tr6Dy)

55 >>>I still haven't seen what the cost to raise a dollar is for the RNC. Neither have I, which is why I'm not joining in with the witch-hunts. Yet. We have anecdotal and witness evidence that Steele is loosy-goosy with money, but it's hard to know for sure if, for a particular fundraiser, the expenditure is justified (i.e., what is spent is prudently calculated to bring back the greatest possible donations). But this nonsense about objecting to the Rubber Chicken Dinner Fundraiser ON PRINCIPLE?! That is foolish twaddle offered up by people who either have never been to a charity dinner where rubber chicken was served or who never bothered to wonder what exactly was being used to pay for that rubber chicken.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM (i6ROy)

56 Speaking truth to the party-out-of-power.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at March 31, 2010 02:54 PM (I1/U/)

57

If the Republicans want my vote, they need to start having "masturbating while hanging by your neck by a rope from a closet dowel" themed parties.

Posted by: Zombie David Carradine at March 31, 2010 02:54 PM (t72+4)

58 Fundraisers exist explicitly to bring in more money than they cost, dude.

Sure, that's good business.  And that explains why the RNC is rolling in the dough.

Look you win.  I don't care to fight about this because I don't even want to think you are wrong - it would ruin the mystique.  But I will say this: the idea of contributing to a group is that your a supporting a picture picture - in this case a party that shares your ideals.  Yes, they have to spend money to make money but the idea that you should spend money in a way that will piss off part of the base to get money from other parts of the base - I don't see how that is productive.  There's a reason, isn't there, that we didn't see strippers at the RNC convention?

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (EioPx)

59 shibumi, exactly my point, it's not like liberals are the party that gets vapors at the thought of naked people.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (RZ8pf)

60
$1.80

heh

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (378s+)

61

Other people view these things as social/networking things and want the rubber chicken dinner in exchange for their donation.

-------------------

Th GOP's problem is that it has no infrastructure. The dems for decades have built up pro democratic party groups like the NAACP, Unions, ACORN, Seirra Club, and the list goes on and on.

 These groups keep the Dems in power. The GOP has no voter based organization outside of the RNC itself that pushes people to the polls.

 The GOP spends money on Mass Media marketing and not on GOTV efforts. You need footsoldiers to win wars even if airpower can give you some victories.

Posted by: William Amos at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (PXTi8)

62 @57
bwahaha!

Seriously, though, I'm giving to the Libertarians. 
For the pot parties. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (Kn9r7)

63 Stories coming right up:

Boehner Eyes Pelosi's Seat

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 07:53 PM (PepU0)

Pelosi eyes Boehner's boner?

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (QKKT0)

64 Stories coming right up:

Despite Jewish Heritage, Cantor says Whips are Useful

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (PepU0)

65 This topic looks strangely familiar.

Beat, road, into, MILSPEC32/4A paragraph 6, etc.

Posted by: Stupe Bartak at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (PMGbu)

66  Cons, how about quit telling others how to behave? Please leave people alone. If people want to have sex with a hole in the wall, why not let them be?

Cons, and your beloved war on drugs. Again, let people live how they choose to live. Quit telling others what to do. Thanks.

Posted by: njc at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (QMD0d)

67 all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed. Just make sure they are lipstick lesbians.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 02:55 PM (AZGON)

68 Then who the fuck is Tony Danza? Wasn't he that midget on Taxi ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (a9UO0)

69

I thought Libtards approved of Lesbians.  When did the party of Megan McCain become so sexually repressive?   I mean Barney Franks has given more blow jobs than a whore convention. So now SEX is BAD?

How do they think their constitutents need so many abortions??   Cheap sex

Posted by: someguy named charles gibson at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (Vqruj)

70 All organizations spend funds to raise money.  Donors who are concerned about the possibility of their gifts being used a certain way should designate their gifts.

Yes.  That is the consequence of these stories.  The RNC will fade as a power broker - which is probably good - and individual candidates will get more donations directly.

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (EioPx)

71 57

If the Republicans want my vote, they need to start having "masturbating while hanging by your neck by a rope from a closet dowel" themed parties.

Posted by: Zombie David Carradine at March 31, 2010 07:54 PM (t72+4)

Would if be OK if we collected the money up-front, just in case the night doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (F09Uo)

72 The Repubs could raise all the money they need at bake sales and weinie roasts.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (O0lWK)

73 Tony Robbins ate one of the lesbian dancers at Tao after he taught her how to acquire Unlimited Power.

I don't think his DVD series can be exchanged for the cost to provide his meal.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (EbpbH)

74 Posted by: njc at March 31, 2010 07:55 PM (QMD0d)

Heh.  Same trolls even...

Posted by: Stupe Bartak at March 31, 2010 02:56 PM (PMGbu)

75
Just make sure they are lipstick lesbians.

Yes.  In heels.  And lingerie.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (378s+)

76 Eh, the Sessions goes to strip club meme has been around forever here in Texas. It's pretty much gotten played out at this point, at least here, here being Tejas.

Posted by: koopy at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (ctR4U)

77 45 I still haven't seen what the cost to raise a dollar is for the RNC.  Has anyone seen that published anywhere? 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 07:50 PM (Kn9r7)

$1.80

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 07:52 PM (QKKT0)


But we make it up in volume

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (saRwI)

78 Other people view these things as social/networking things and want the rubber chicken dinner in exchange for their donation.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 07:48 PM (i6ROy)

Yes, but I am pissed because at the rubber-chicken dinners I've been to, the rubber chicken never got inserted anywhere interesting, like it was at Voyeur.

Posted by: stuiec at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (7AOgy)

79 Just make sure they are lipstick lesbians.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 07:55 PM (AZGON)

Hey there sweetie, I'll set you on fire!

Um, literally.

Posted by: Janet Reno at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (bgcml)

80

Fundraisers exist explicitly to bring in more money than they cost, dude.

They're not freaking just taking out random people to Tao. If you're AT this thing, you're paying more than the costs of the meal.

Don't be silly, Ace.  Everyone knows that potential donors don't shell out the big bucks unless made to feel extra-special with a trip to Old Country Buffet.

Nothing says "we value your support" like free soft-serve ice cream.  Just so long as they don't get uppity by demanding sprinkles.  That shit costs money.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at March 31, 2010 02:57 PM (rf03a)

81

Myself, I'm of the belief that the Republicans should host more "pvc pipe and gerbil themed parties", but thats just me.

Posted by: Richard Gere at March 31, 2010 02:58 PM (t72+4)

82 Yes, they have to spend money to make money but the idea that you should spend money in a way that will piss off part of the base to get money from other parts of the base - I don't see how that is productive.

Poor Mormons, then.  They mustn't be able to give to any organization what with the proliferation of evil coffee and all.

Honestly, if you are worried about how your money might be spent, do not give an unrestricted gift.  But if you do want to designate your gift, it better be big enough to be worth the organization's time/effort/expense to set up and manage a separate account. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 02:58 PM (Kn9r7)

83 Don't forget the anemic broccoli. The rubber chicken is almost always accompanied by anemic broccoli.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at March 31, 2010 02:58 PM (RZ8pf)

84
All I can say is...phew!

I'm just happy it wasn't some fag joint...'cuz that's all we need.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 02:58 PM (9X3KM)

85 njc, you LIBTARDS can get your filthy fucking hands off of our money then too.

Posted by: someguy named charles gibson at March 31, 2010 02:59 PM (Vqruj)

86 Stories coming right up:

Sarah Palin Helps Mccain Stump in Leather Outfit

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 02:59 PM (PepU0)

87 Tough break for the RNC research department.  Now they have to troll Flikr reels for photos of Democrats sniffing lines off Ron Burkle's black card at bondage clubs in NYC.

Smooth move Michael Steele.  That book better sell a brazilian copies.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 02:59 PM (EbpbH)

88 42 Tony Perkins did Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom?  Then who the fuck is Tony Danza?

Posted by: Cicero at March 31, 2010 07:51 PM (QKKT0)

Danza was the dumb wombat with all the back hair that Stan Brock wrestled into submission and sent to the St. Louis zoo in a crate. 

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 02:59 PM (KXW8j)

89 >>>But I will say this: the idea of contributing to a group is that your a supporting a picture picture - in this case a party that shares your ideals. You are extending this idea to Pete Sessions, whom I'm reasonably sure you never donated to in your life. Now the rule has apparently become that no Republican anywhere can frigging do anything but stuff pillows for the poor and while drinking decaffeinated apple cider. This isn't even an event involving the party (a completely improptu one, by the way, where the group just apparently decided they wanted to check out Voyeur). This is a specific congressman to whom you've never donated and who doesn't represent you, but now you're getting all fussed that he had a fundraiser at VENUE whose core business you disapprove of. I capitalize "VENUE" because that's what's being talked about here -- the space. I don't think the Forty Deuce Dancers were there for a Republcian fundraiser.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 03:00 PM (i6ROy)

90 I guarantee Nancy Pelosi wants this issue to go away.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at March 31, 2010 03:01 PM (I1/U/)

91 Myself, I'm of the belief that the Republicans should host more "pvc pipe and gerbil themed parties", but thats just me.

Posted by: Richard Gere at March 31, 2010 07:58 PM (t72+4)

Habitrails™ to you
Until we meet again....

Posted by: stuiec at March 31, 2010 03:01 PM (7AOgy)

92
Once again, we are letting the WaPo pick our candidates.  Thanks SoCons.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 03:01 PM (378s+)

93

I think if I ever ran for office, I would only ever hold my rallies and fundraisers in strip clubs. I would make it clear than any and all monies donated to my campaign would be used for g-string tips (ones and fives) or some special VIP room attentions (bigger bills). If I got married, it would be to a woman with two first names (Bobbie Jo, Brenda Sue, Sukie Lee) and a habit of wearing tank-tops with no bra, and who considers flip-flops suitable for both summer and winter wear.

My campaign promises would be short and sweet: Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. If I ever show up to work, it'll be to cuss everyone out in a drunken rage and barf on the floor of the Senate. My goal is to get in a fistfight with the President on the front lawn of the White House and give my first MSM interview from jail. I won't have donor-parties or K-Street fundraisers; I'll put on coon hunts...in downtown D.C. I'll encourage people to bring their own shotguns, hounds, and however many bottles of scotch they think they'll need to get through the night.

Vote for Monty...because if you think Sarah Palin is a white-trash hillbilly, you ain't seen nothin' yet!

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:02 PM (I2/to)

94

 decaffeinated

If the Republicans come out as the decaf party, well then, I didn't leave the party, they left me.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at March 31, 2010 03:02 PM (RZ8pf)

95 I just hit Pete Session's tit jar!

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 03:02 PM (KXW8j)

96 If one of the damn interns whispers to the DC gossip circuit it will be the last time we take them to a skin bar for lunch on the first day to pretend we do it everyday.

Damn kids.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 03:02 PM (EbpbH)

97 I hear you wore the other guy out.

I can go all night (for a fee)

Posted by: The Rubber Chicken at March 31, 2010 03:02 PM (7VvJB)

98 Sorta on topic.That douche Kornhole on PTI gave a shout out to Voyeur...I changed it before he mentioned the RNC.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (O0lWK)

99
I'll put on coon hunts...in downtown D.C.


Uh oh...

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (378s+)

100 Yes.  That is the consequence of these stories.  The RNC will fade as a power broker - which is probably good - and individual candidates will get more donations directly.

Or maybe big donors will make designated gifts of both types - funds specifically for the wining and dining and funds that can only be used for other types of administrative costs.  I've been in non-profit organizations that had funds set up specifically for otherwise unallowed expenses by donors who knew what the organization needed and were willing to put their money where their mouths were. 

The small donors don't matter.  They just don't. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (Kn9r7)

101 Stories coming right up:

Michelle Obama has Larger Staff than Husband

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (PepU0)

102 I read the story you linked. What is their point? Burlesque in Vegas? Give me a fucking break. This is what they got on Republicans? It ain't the same place where Pacman Jones and his crue shot up the parking lot, is it? It's fucking Vegas, people, the place Obama been bashing non-stop. The stupid Nevadans should all vote by pulling the straight No- Democrat lever. apologies to G Carlin Imagine the intelligence of the average Democrat. Now imagine that half of them are dumber than that.

Posted by: dr kill at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (w9bVp)

103 96 I just hit Pete Session's tit jar!

Hahaha!

Posted by: koopy at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (ctR4U)

104 The dems control both houses of Congress and the White House and we get reports like these from the press? Fucking really? I hope people see through this shit, and I think they do.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at March 31, 2010 03:03 PM (I1/U/)

105 Monty: I'd match $100 donations for every $1 donation that makes it into the cup playing Cooterball.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 03:04 PM (EbpbH)

106 Monty has my vote! 

Posted by: Y-not, aka "Betty Sue" at March 31, 2010 03:04 PM (Kn9r7)

107 Someone may have noted this, but we are dealing with U.S. Snooze & Wierd Retards, which was one step about toilet paper

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 31, 2010 03:04 PM (JrRME)

108

And yes, Virginia, there are wild raccoons in Washington, D.C. Just leave your garbage out uncovered some night and see what happens. Urban wildlife. I've actually seen deer out on the Capitol Mall in the early morning.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:05 PM (I2/to)

109 You are extending this idea to Pete Sessions, whom I'm reasonably sure you never donated to in your life.

No I'm not.  Sessions doesn't bother me at.all.  AT ALL (I'm putting that in caps because that's what I am talking about here).

I don't understand why you think I'm getting bent.  Unless you think I object to *spending* as in renting a room at the club.  That's irrelevant - room costs money everywhere. 

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 03:05 PM (EioPx)

110
Hell I'd vote for Monty 38 times, it's the Democrat way.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 03:05 PM (378s+)

111 #103  Imagine the intelligence of the average Democrat. Now imagine that half of them are dumber than that.

/I liked George Carlin's earlier skits (first one I ever saw was his airport routine), but he got more bitter as he got older. 

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:05 PM (otlXg)

112 107 It's a step below.It scratches.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 03:05 PM (O0lWK)

113
aren't the Rockettes consider kinda burlesque-y?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:06 PM (9X3KM)

114 29 Behold the Narrative -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."
---------------------
Hopefully not Congress

---------------

Could be a ratings win for C-SPAN.

Posted by: Lech Walesa at March 31, 2010 03:06 PM (3K4hn)

115 Stories coming right up:

Barney Frank Finds Brown Surprisingly Pleasant

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 03:06 PM (PepU0)

116 The small donors don't matter.  They just don't. 

Fine.  Non-story then.  I pass that on to Hoffman and Brown.

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 03:06 PM (EioPx)

117 A racoon in every pot ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:07 PM (a9UO0)

118

94 I would like to be your press sec'y!

I haven't had the roots done in a while. I could surely promise to be as trashtastic as you!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 03:07 PM (hS7s5)

119 I think folks should hit the "despite what MTV wants you to believe, Republicans aren't actually anhedoniac prudes" thing a smidge harder than they are.  God knows they're not the ones wanting to outlaw foods, beverages, fast cars, big houses...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:07 PM (OkT2m)

120 Tony Perkins did Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom? Then who the fuck is Tony Danza? Tony Danza was that actor in "Spartacus" where Laurence Olivier came on to him by asking if he "enjoyed both snails and oysters." Or maybe it was a Republican fundraiser. Better go ask the WaPo. They seem to know everything.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:07 PM (AZGON)

121

Uh oh...

Sigh. Yeah, yeah....TEH RACIST!! I meant a raccoon hunt. Though I'm sure my name has just gone into the master-list Charles Johnson keeps of known skinheads.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (I2/to)

122
how many of you here know what anhedonia is?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (9X3KM)

123 I propose changing the battle cry from wolverine to LESBIANS!1!!!!!11!!1!!!!!!!1111

Posted by: dr kill at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (w9bVp)

124

it has a racy amount of square-footage and offers a racy competitive price for catered affairs and racy complimentary Ginger Wasabi Salads for parties of 50 or more.

Checked it out for aceapalooza last weekend?!

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (cniXs)

125 If I ever show up to work, it'll be to cuss everyone out in a drunken rage and barf on the floor of the Senate.

If you promise punch Russ Feingold in the face, I will quit work to serve your campaign.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (OkT2m)

126 Aren't the small donors kicking cash to the candidates anyway?

Whatevs.  If Michael Steele has a book tour stop at Tao I'll be there.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 03:08 PM (EbpbH)

127 Monty/Monty 2012 all the way!

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:09 PM (AZGON)

128 #122  Sigh. Yeah, yeah....TEH RACIST!! I meant a raccoon hunt. Though I'm sure my name has just gone into the master-list Charles Johnson keeps of known skinheads.

You mean it wasn't on there already, Monty?

/Always enjoy your posts.  Good to see you again.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:09 PM (otlXg)

129

After raising disaster relief with Bob Dole I came to understand that even Republicans need hard-ons.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 31, 2010 03:09 PM (7+pP9)

130 aren't the Rockettes consider kinda burlesque-y?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 08:06 PM (9X3KM)

No.  The Rockettes are showgirly.

Dita von Teese is burlesque-y.  And Marilyn Manson's ex-wife -- explain that to me, somebody.

Posted by: stuiec at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (keSj0)

131 how many of you here know what anhedonia is?

The guy who calls himself "Center for Science[sic] in the Public Interest[sic]" has it.  But instead of just dealing with it, he's made it his life's work to make sure everyone else's life is as joyless as his.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (OkT2m)

132 I pass that on to Hoffman and Brown.

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 08:06 PM (EioPx)


Yeah, 'cause two statewide elections that drew national attention, enlarging the donor prospect pool well beyond what it normally would have been, are really similar to the entire party's national fundraising apparatus. 

Small donors think they matter.  They are good for involvement and as a prospect pool to mine for large donors, but they do not matter in the gift pyramid. 

Posted by: Y-not, aka at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (Kn9r7)

133

29  Giving the rest of us those sorts of mental images is just not right.

 

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (5/yRG)

134 123
how many of you here know what anhedonia is?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 08:08 PM (9X3KM)

The explanation for the Democrat party. I can't have fun, so you can't either.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (F09Uo)

135 123
how many of you here know what anhedonia is?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 08:08 PM (9X3KM)

Never heard of it.

Posted by: Woddy Allen at March 31, 2010 03:10 PM (KXW8j)

136 126 Russ would cry and void his bowels.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 03:11 PM (O0lWK)

137 Tony Danza was that actor in "Spartacus" where Laurence Olivier came on to him by asking if he "enjoyed both snails and oysters." I'll be damned . I thought his claim to fame was being in the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:11 PM (a9UO0)

138 I think folks should hit the "despite what MTV wants you to believe, Republicans aren't actually anhedoniac prudes" thing a smidge harder than they are.  God knows they're not the ones wanting to outlaw foods, beverages, fast cars, big houses...

Bingo. Gutfeld for RNC Chair.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at March 31, 2010 03:11 PM (BiCQw)

139 FLASH!!
REPUBLICANS SPOTTED HOLDING MEETING AT A COMMUNITY CENTER THAT HOSTED A SADIE HAWKINS DANCE IN THE PAST YEAR!
ROLL PRESSES!!!

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 31, 2010 03:11 PM (0q2P7)

140 137 126 Russ would cry and void his bowels.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 08:11 PM (O0lWK)

In McCain's mouth.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (KXW8j)

141 121 Tony Danza was the mob boss who fixed the election for Kennedy.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (O0lWK)

142
I was just curious if anyone else here was familiar with anhedonia -- it's not something you hear everyday -- which is cool because it's one of those things I learned that I didn't forget, yet.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (9X3KM)

143 I think folks should hit the "despite what MTV wants you to believe, Republicans aren't actually anhedoniac prudes" thing a smidge harder than they are.  God knows they're not the ones wanting to outlaw foods, beverages, fast cars, big houses...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 08:07 PM (OkT2m)

If Ted Nugent would agree to replace Michael Steele, that would be marvelous.

Posted by: stuiec at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (keSj0)

144 Don't tell Rachel Maddow that all places republican are lesbian bondage themed.  I don't want that bitch showing up killing my buzz.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (C8Pcc)

145

Behold the Narrative -- from now on, all places Republicans may gather are presumptively "lesbian-bondage themed."

I sure hope there's a moron meetup scheduled soon.

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at March 31, 2010 03:12 PM (NA7sd)

146 Posted by: Y-not, aka at March 31, 2010 08:10 PM (Kn9r7)

Brown was the 41st vote (or would have been) against healthcare.  So you can say they don't matter, but tjust that hey like to think they matter, and that's all well and good.  But they do matter.  And sometimes that edge is what you need.


Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (EioPx)

147 er. one step ABOVE toilet paper ...........

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (JrRME)

148 94  Sounds like a blast; I'm in. 

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (5/yRG)

149 Turns out republicans are way more awesome than previously thought. Truth be told, I've been to Tao with my wife. The food was awesome.

Posted by: Jollyroger at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (3j9X5)

150 143
I was just curious if anyone else here was familiar with anhedonia -- it's not something you hear everyday -- which is cool because it's one of those things I learned that I didn't forget, yet.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 08:12 PM (9X3KM)

That's real special.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (KXW8j)

151
What's the difference between a showgirl and a burlesque performer?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (9X3KM)

152 Wasn't Anhedonia the Goddess of Venereal Diseases? 

Posted by: Y-not, Hellenic scholar at March 31, 2010 03:13 PM (Kn9r7)

153 And another thing. Those pussies should be ashamed to be seen at a tasteful nightclub when they coulda been at a real old-fashioned peeler joint. It was Vegas, baby111111!!!111!111 And another thing, the really NSFW skankalicious clubs will help you out with a tax-deductible safe-for-the-boss receipt from the electrical supply store they own that is conveniently located right across the parking lot. These fucking Republicans are real fucking farmers, aren't they?

Posted by: dr kill at March 31, 2010 03:14 PM (w9bVp)

154
how many of you here know what anhedonia is?

Isn't that a chemical or something, like ammonia?

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 31, 2010 03:14 PM (378s+)

155 Pete Sessions' fundraiser was most assuredly not taking place on late Saturday night/early Sunday morning when a bunch of out-of-towners are there Red-Bulling off their drunk and getting photographed for Hot Chicks With Douchebags.

Writing like this will only keep me coming back to this blog for more, Ace.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 03:14 PM (iBzKc)

156

>>>That's real special.


You just made The List, pal.

Watch your ass.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:14 PM (9X3KM)

157 152  Showgirls usually keep their costumes on.

Posted by: unknown jane at March 31, 2010 03:15 PM (5/yRG)

158 153 Wasn't Anhedonia the Goddess of Venereal Diseases?

I thought that was Aphrodite?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:16 PM (otlXg)

159 Here's my question:

We had 8 years of President Bush,  whom the media hated and would have LOVED to find out stuff like this about the RNC fund-raising.  We heard NOTHING.

So,  President Bush,  8 years,  no news of burleque/strip/lesbian/SM clubs.

Suddenly,  we are getting news of this type of stuff going on.

Since it seems unlikely to me that the media refrained from printing this type of news during the Bush years,  I can only conclude none of this happened under his presidency.

So,  why,  all of a sudden,  are donors and staffers going to these places?

Discuss.


Posted by: Miss Marple at March 31, 2010 03:16 PM (4DwVn)

160

What's the difference between a showgirl and a burlesque performer?

This ain't my Daddy's Republican party!

Giddyup!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 03:16 PM (hS7s5)

161
how many here know what an anxiolytic is, and give an example if you can

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:16 PM (9X3KM)

162 152 What's the difference between a showgirl and a burlesque performer?

A happy ending?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:16 PM (otlXg)

163 Interesting fact: Janna Jameson can deep throat the entire US Constitution, all the way down to about midway through the 20th Amendment.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 03:17 PM (KXW8j)

164 @102 Comrade, you're killin' me ovah here.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:17 PM (AZGON)

165 In a previous work life, the head of compliance for our company used to take the Underwriters Lab (UL) inspector down to the Trocadero Theatre in Philadelphia to see a little burlesque and get him all liquored up.

Posted by: Neo at March 31, 2010 03:17 PM (tE8FB)

166

O/T  Ah, yet another squishy, nadless GOP,  "Repeal ain't gonna happen."

http://tinyurl.com/y8u5fwc

Posted by: RushBabe at March 31, 2010 03:17 PM (LKkE8)

167 Stories coming right up:

Congressman Stupak Sneaks in Back Door to Avoid Protests

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 03:18 PM (PepU0)

168
Wait. So all burlesquers take off their tops? Don't some of them hide behind feathers and shit?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:18 PM (9X3KM)

169 Brown was the 41st vote (or would have been) against healthcare.  So you can say they don't matter, but tjust that hey like to think they matter, and that's all well and good.  But they do matter.

My point was that your comparison of those two races to RNC fundraising is apples and oranges.  What happened in Brown's case was that the prospect pool, which normally would be Massachusetts residents and some already very engaged political observers/operatives, got enlarged greatly through the national importance of the races.  If you increase your prospect pool 50 or 100 fold, small gifts matter.

But the RNC cannot increase its prospect pool (unless foreign donations are allowed... are they?  well, even if they were, foreign small donors would be a rare breed indeed).  It needs to mine the existing prospect pool.  In that case, it really is best practice to focus on large donors.

If large donors are upset about how the funds are being spent, the RNC needs to address those concerns by (1) dispelling the current meme that they run an inefficient fundraising operation and/or (2) creating a mechanism for them to pay the bills by giving donors a chance to give to funds that are not used for entertainment.  I'm sure that there are some donors sophisticated enough to give to funds that are used for entertainment. 

Small donors matter in the sense that they are voters, so the PR matters, but you do not change your entire fundraising operation to cater to their whims. 

Posted by: Y-not, Hellenic scholar at March 31, 2010 03:19 PM (Kn9r7)

170 164 Interesting fact: Janna Jameson can deep throat the entire US Constitution, all the way down to about midway through the 20th Amendment.

There are some images one cannot "unsee".

/Although Janna's "deed" to the Constitution may be a little better than what the O's are doing to it now.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:20 PM (otlXg)

171

Hail Anhedonia

Land of the Brave and Free.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at March 31, 2010 03:20 PM (QKKT0)

172 Gimme a break #167, he acknowledged the reality that you need 67 Senate votes in 2011 to do it.  There might be 50 Rs.  Might.  Outside shot.  What 17 are you going to flip? 

Posted by: AmishDude at March 31, 2010 03:20 PM (T0NGe)

173 40 You HAVE heard of the "Rubber Chicken Circuit," right?

You know that "donors' money" is used to buy that rubber chicken, right?

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 07:51 PM

 

At least USE a rubber

Posted by: The Chicken at March 31, 2010 03:20 PM (4XzsU)

174 And another thing, the really NSFW skankalicious clubs will help you out with a tax-deductible safe-for-the-boss receipt from the electrical supply store they own that is conveniently located right across the parking lot.

Is that true for Tao?  I was wondering if it would just ring up as "The Venetian Enterprises" or something safe like that.

I'd have to think the folks at the Las Vegas Sands know what they're doing by now.  Sheldon Adelson is still a Republican right?  And "Old Eagle" so to speak.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 03:20 PM (EbpbH)

175 How man here know what a priapisic victory is?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 03:21 PM (F09Uo)

176

Th GOP's problem is that it has no infrastructure. The dems for decades have built up pro democratic party groups like the NAACP, Unions, ACORN, Seirra Club, and the list goes on and on.

 These groups keep the Dems in power. The GOP has no voter based organization outside of the RNC itself that pushes people to the polls.

 The GOP spends money on Mass Media marketing and not on GOTV efforts. You need footsoldiers to win wars even if airpower can give you some victories.

Posted by: William Amos at March 31, 2010 07:55 PM (PXTi


yes we do...churches

Posted by: kmiller1k at March 31, 2010 03:21 PM (2y90e)

177 @175
thread-winner! 
well, except for Monty's campaign platform

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 03:22 PM (Kn9r7)

178 To save on travel costs the RNC is moving its HQ to Northwest Highway in Dallas

Posted by: KLL at March 31, 2010 03:22 PM (+giZB)

179 If you increase your prospect pool 50 or 100 fold, small gifts matter.

Right, we agree.  In terms of pool, intensity in the base is the expander/constrictor as those two elections should.  People putting chips in for (for some) the first time.

Small donors matter in the sense that they are voters, so the PR matters, but you do not change your entire fundraising operation to cater to their whims. 

Which is Steele's mo.

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 03:22 PM (EioPx)

180 162
how many here know what an anxiolytic is, and give an example if you can
_________

That comment merits a punch in the cock.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:22 PM (C8Pcc)

181 I'll be damned . I thought his claim to fame was being in the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun . No no, that was Toni Tenille, in her career after "Muskrat Love."

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (AZGON)

182 Watching Jason Mattera's video on o'really.....how come that guy with the glasses is allowed to put his hands all over mattera and it isn't assault?

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (p302b)

183
speaking of Scott Brown...

funny how just two weeks we were all incredulous at how the Democrats seemed to have forgotten the epic election of Scott Brown.

Now were scratching our heads and wondering how the Republicans, too, have forgotten the election of Scott Brown.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (9X3KM)

184 @3O

 So...the more ya spend on a politician, the more he stays bought? ...or the more ya spend buyin' one, the more you can expect outta one?

 ...and there's not like, I dunno, a Hilton Hotel or even a small concert venue in Vegas that doesn't offer blackjack and half dressed hostesses? (I haven't been to Vegas since 1980 or '81, so take it for what it's worth.)

 Not that I'm a prude, but appearance of evil and alla that. If yer the party that claims to represent Christian and social conservatives, it might be good strategy to at least act like one, now and then...

 Basically, Ace, your argument here is of the "He did it, too!" variety.

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (E5Er7)

185 Interesting fact: Janna Jameson can deep throat the entire US Constitution, all the way down to about midway through the 20th Amendment.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 08:17 PM (KXW8j)

Yeah well I can stick the whole Constitution up my ass.

In fact, I do it on a regular basis.

Posted by: Barack Obama at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (bgcml)

186 How man here know what a priapisic victory is? Just who are you calling "How Man " , racist ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:23 PM (a9UO0)

187 @ 57 If the Republicans want my vote, they need to start having "masturbating while hanging by your neck by a rope from a closet dowel" themed parties.

I'm down with that kinda thing.

Posted by: Zombie Michael Hutchence at March 31, 2010 03:24 PM (iBzKc)

188

[Scene: the United States Senate Ethics Committee chambers. Newly-elected Senator Monty is being questioned by Committee Chairman Leghorn about various allegations of misconduct on Monty's part.]

Senator Leghorn: Monty, we've heard some disturbing stories about your public behavior.

Senator Monty: Well, I don't know about "disturbing", but I got some fucking hilarious stories to tell you, I shit you not!

Senator Leghorn: Er, yes. Let's begin with this story about a Miss... What's her name? Kandy Kane? That's her real name?

Senator Monty: Oh, hell yeah! I remember that ole gal! Her boobs are bigger than her head!

Senator Leghorn: You were observed to be having a dinner with the, ah, young lady in an, ah, certain establishment....

Senator Monty: You mean Wally's Bump-N-Grind? I go there all the time. Shit, I practically lived there before I got this gig. They serve some awesome Buffalo wings, and they got a two-for-one special on beer on Wednesday nights. I think Kandy works there...anyway she was there all the time. And I wouldn't call it dinner, exactly. I bought her a bucket of wings and a pitcher of Sam Adams.

Senator Leghorn: Do you really think that's appropriate behavior for a United States Senator?

Senator Monty: Hey, I paid for it, didn't I? I didn't ask her to gobble my rod or anything. Well, not right then, and not as like a payment or anything. She's a pretty gal who likes to eat chicken wings, and I'm a man who likes a pretty gal who likes to eat chicken wings. If that's wrong, why, I don't wanna be right.

Senator Leghorn: And there's this issue with your, ah, your transportation....

Senator Monty: You mean my Toronado? Is that a fucking great ride or what? I got it from this old boy down in Nogales in trade for a Ford pickup and two dirt-bikes.

Senator Leghorn: Well, I believe it's the "Gas, Grass, or Ass" bumper sticker that has us...concerned.

Senator Monty: Yeah, that cheesed me some too. Fucker told me the car was clean when I came to make the trade, and you know that once those bumper stickers are on, they're on forever. But what can you do? I found a pair of nasty skivvies under the back seat, too. I hadda wash my hands about a thousand times after fishing that fucking thing out of the car, let me tell you.

[...and the hearing drones on.]

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:24 PM (I2/to)

189 #186 "jenna"  Only barrack obama could get that name wrong.  Every man on earth knows how to spell her name (how else could we google our pr0n?)

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:25 PM (C8Pcc)

190

Jason Mattera on O'Reilly looks like an extra on Jersey Shore.

Guidolicious.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 03:25 PM (hS7s5)

191 "Burlesque" is actually code for "fat strippers".

Also, Tony Danza is a Tony Clifton-like character played by Brian Dennehy.

Posted by: Brendan at March 31, 2010 03:25 PM (saRwI)

192 Look.  This is getting blown (no pun intended - lesbians - helloooo) all out of proportions.  Everyone knows by now that lesbians who practice bondage and who just happen to be strippers are all Republicans - every one of them.  They also keep us in line when we're naughty.  Everyone wins.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (r1h5M)

193 187 How man here know what a priapisic victory is?

Just who are you calling "How Man " , racist ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 08:23 PM (a9UO0)

Freudian slip or a typo... we will never know.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (F09Uo)

194 Secretary of Labor: The Department of Labor wishes to note that the workers of Anhedonia are demanding shorter hours. Rufus T. Firefly: Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (AZGON)

195 http://fortydeuce.com/video-promo.html

Good music, anyway...

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (E5Er7)

196
>>>How man here know what a priapisic victory is?

I do. It's when an impotent man pops a couple of V-iagra, picks up a hooker, gets arrested, and then spends the night in jail.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (9X3KM)

197 These rubber chickens you speak of....can they be fucked?

Posted by: weird newscaster guy at March 31, 2010 03:26 PM (IoUF1)

198 Stories coming right up:

After Heart Attack Scare, Clinton Told to Take it Easy on Meat

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 03:27 PM (PepU0)

199 Where do I send my check?

Posted by: Jean at March 31, 2010 03:27 PM (CPefM)

200 >>>Is that true for Tao? I was wondering if it would just ring up as "The Venetian Enterprises" or something safe like that. Isn't "Tao" safe enough? What the fuck? It's racy because it's a hook-up bar for the young and drunk, the same as any other popular nightclub. Republicans can't go there now because the young and drunk go there to meet people of the opposite sex? This is getting fucking ridiculous. The list of "Thou Shalt Nots" is multiplying here at an ungodly rate. I thought we had the 10. Now it looks like we might need 700 or 800.

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 03:27 PM (i6ROy)

201 how many of you here know what anhedonia is? (Waves hand wildly in the air) Me! I really only look like a dumb blonde.

Posted by: Dumb_Blonde at March 31, 2010 03:27 PM (9zBd8)

202 No no, that was Toni Tenille, in her career after "Muskrat Love." Well now i'm completely confused . If memory serves me right it was Marilyn Manson that sang Muskrat Love .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:27 PM (a9UO0)

203 @180

But what I think you've been asserting is that small donors will stop giving to the RNC because they are wasting money (which I don't think we've established but let's say they are) on fancy dinners and night clubs and limos. 

What I'm saying is that I very much doubt that that amount of money is significant compared to what could be had by focusing on large donors.

And I don't think that it's likely that if the RNC announced tomorrow that from now on they are not going to have fancy dinners or parties or use limos or whatever that suddenly a lot of new donors, people who've never given before, would suddenly give.

In Brown's case the race was nationally significant so people who otherwise wouldn't pay attention, let alone give, gave to his race.  And, of course, the overall numbers are smaller so each $25 gift had a bigger impact (relatively speaking). 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (Kn9r7)

204 If any form of pleasure is exibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited
I`ll put my foot down, so shall it be
This is the land of the free

The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn`t know what to do with it
If you think this country`s bad off now,
Just wait `til I get through with it

The country`s taxes must be fixed
And I know what to do with it
If you think you`re paying too much now
Just wait till I get throught with it

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (QKKT0)

205 198 These rubber chickens you speak of....can they be fucked?
_______

anything can be fucked, given sufficient motivation.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (C8Pcc)

206
that was supposed to be: spend the night in jail with a raging boner

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (9X3KM)

207 Is Mattera doing his "Chris Rock Voice"?

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (i6ROy)

208

Ugh. You know what, fuck my original, logical opinion. If this is going to become a Jon Stewart "Oh them Republicans!" shit fest every time we hold a fundraiser at a fusion restaurant from now on, let's just go full hog and have the RNC start mailing pamphlets with girls that get bigger tits and less clothes the more you donate. It'd be better then their jackass, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm going to drink milk even more!" letters.

I say full on lesbian porn contracts to America. "Ohhh, Obamacare gets me so STEAMED," and "Peal and Stick-in-place" RNC bitches. Let's just freakin' commit.

Posted by: William at March 31, 2010 03:28 PM (77TeU)

209 how come that guy with the glasses is allowed to put his hands all over mattera and it isn't assault?

Mattera's a conservative?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:29 PM (OkT2m)

210 Where is my fainting couch- it's all over for the GOP, folks. But hey, 2 more years of Obama with a left-wing Congress. What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: jjshaka at March 31, 2010 03:29 PM (Vh6z+)

211

Where do I send my check?

Ask TexasJew, he just hit the tit jar.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 03:30 PM (hS7s5)

212
What I'm saying is that I very much doubt that that amount of money is significant compared to what could be had by focusing on large donors.

Okay.  Hope your thinking means success in Nov

Posted by: Amused Observer at March 31, 2010 03:30 PM (EioPx)

213 So this is what the last convulsing gasping breaths of the lame stream media looks like. Pathetic.

Posted by: Barbarian at March 31, 2010 03:30 PM (EL+OC)

214 O/T:  dontcha get the impression that the head honcho would not and has not ever gone anywhere near a strip club and probably hasn't been to many bars of note.  In fact they are having way too much fun being the first family and taking advantage of all the perks...they never were the cool kids...they were the dorks who stayed in their rooms and studied and then maybe hung out with a small pseudo intellectual group.

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:30 PM (p302b)

215 Is Jenna Jamison really still a porn star?  Seems like she's more of a... porn icon you don't actually want to see naked any more.

Posted by: Ace's liver at March 31, 2010 03:31 PM (XIXhw)

216 #201  Republicans can't go there now because the young and drunk go there to meet people of the opposite sex?

Nope because there might be some decadence..*gasp*..caused because by such meetings.

It's damn pathetic that on one hand, the Republicans are damned for being prudish elders not "with the times", but on the other hand, they are also damned for using clubs as fundraiser venues.

It's always a "heads, I win, tails you lose" with the libs.  By design, for sure, but they're so shameless that they never see the contradiction.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:32 PM (otlXg)

217 http://www.taolasvegas.com/tao.html

 If it's wholesome enough for political donors and elected representatives of the people...

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 03:32 PM (E5Er7)

218

It's racy because it's a hook-up bar for the young and drunk, the same as any other popular nightclub.

Republicans can't go there now because the young and drunk go there to meet people of the opposite sex?

This is truly the Saddest Day in the history of our Republic.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at March 31, 2010 03:32 PM (eoYH6)

219 Folks, Tao is just a fucking restaurant. And I can guaran-damn-tee you that even the Denny's in Pahrump has had several dozen hookers in it at one point. So unless you want all fundraisers as box lunch affairs on the side of I-15, buckle up. Oh wait, lots of sex has been performed in cars on the side of I-15. So that's out too.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:32 PM (AZGON)

220 Speaking of proclivities, anyone notice that Chucky has taken to blogging about his comic book collection.

I assume he is doing this as to cement his status as the beta male?

Posted by: Sam at March 31, 2010 03:32 PM (Cxsey)

221 Pete Sessions may have held a fund raiser at a strip club, but Barney Frank still sucks cock and takes it up the ass.  One is a Republican and the other is a Democrat.  Which has the most to lose with their actions?

Posted by: Fish at March 31, 2010 03:33 PM (M5t+h)

222

Guidolicious.

Back when I lived on the East Coast, I used to go to music clubs in Boston, Providence, and Philly quite a bit. I remember that the guidos would absolutely drench themselves in Drakkar Noir cologne. It got to where a club reeked so badly of the stuff, it was either go outside to get some air, or just puke on the floor. Gah. They also wore more gold than any gang-banger I ever saw: rings, chains, earrings, gold teeth, one even had some weird kind of gold glitter in his hair.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:33 PM (I2/to)

223
Democrats are desperate for an issue.

Magically all of the corrupt crap the democrats have foisted on us all year is gone!

Republicans meet in racy places!  How dare they!


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 03:33 PM (0fzsA)

224 Honestly, I'm with Ace:  Republicans (single ones) should be visiting strip clubs.  In Vegas.  They should be extolling the benefits of CAPITALISM.  They should be living the life any single capitalist male would live and FUCK the media. 

Fuck tingly legs.
Fuck Olberdouche.
Fuck anderson clueless.
Fuck Larry How-the-fuck-am-i-still-alive King.

Man up, girls.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:33 PM (C8Pcc)

225 Well now i'm completely confused . If memory serves me right it was Marilyn Manson that sang Muskrat Love . No, Marilyn Manson was in that movie "The Seven Year Itch."

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:33 PM (AZGON)

226 222 Speaking of proclivities, anyone notice that Chucky has taken to blogging about his comic book collection.

It's true, Chuckles is the Comic Book Guy!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:34 PM (otlXg)

227 Watching Jason Mattera's video on o'really.....how come that guy with the glasses is allowed to put his hands all over mattera and it isn't assault?

Notice also how it's Franken interrupting Mattera, not the other way around as he proclaims.

Everytime a Democrat is on tape they're lying through their teeth. How do they have any credibility?

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at March 31, 2010 03:34 PM (BiCQw)

228 "209 Is Mattera doing his "Chris Rock Voice"?

Posted by: ace at March 31, 2010 08:28 PM (i6ROy)"

That was funny wasn't it?  She is such an idiot, the more of her stuff I read the more I decided that she has a really skewed view of the world at large.  If she can't recognize a nice Italian boy from Brooklyn, she can't see the forest for the trees.  O'really is seeing how smart the guy is though and I bet he becomes a regular.  Looks like he is getting the "fox treatment" already....the sexy glasses are gone, replaced by contacts.

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:35 PM (p302b)

229

Seems like she's more of a... porn icon you don't actually want to see naked any more.

I heard she had a kid a while back. I can't imagine that poor kid's life in later years. "Hey, Randy, did you know that your mom once banged a hundred guys in a row?" "Hey, Randy, does your mom still do guys three at a time?" "Hey, Randy, I got a New York telephone book -- if we open a page at random, we might just find your dad!"

Yeah, that kid really has a fun, wholesome, fulfilling life ahead of him.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (I2/to)

230 That Mattera tape is awesome, especially Franken's face when he gets called "Senator Smalley."

Posted by: Bomber at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (d88g9)

231 When you are elected as President Monty , I call ATF .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (a9UO0)

232

Jameson is 33. That's getting up there.

She better remember what happens to old porn stars.

Once-famous 70's porn icon Seka is now an astroturf  floor mat in front of the Big A truck stop out in Ozona, Texas.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (pk/xZ)

233 What?  WHAT?????

Posted by: Randy Jameson at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (QKKT0)

234 All of this stuff, burlesque, racism charges, fake oil drilling, is just an attempt to change the subject from deathcare.  Expect more of it.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 31, 2010 03:36 PM (7VvJB)

235 And yes, how many of you can say that if that bodyguard for Smalley had grabbed your shoulder like that you wouldn't have Krav Maga'd him into a broken collar bone?

No fucking way I'd have let someone do that without painful consequences.

Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me. Ever.

exception: janna jameson

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:37 PM (C8Pcc)

236 Stories coming right up:

Code Pink Protests Bush Abuses

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 03:37 PM (PepU0)

237

Drill baby drill!

Oops, wrong thread..

Posted by: Barney Frank at March 31, 2010 03:38 PM (pk/xZ)

238 @239 When you publish your paper, comrade, sign me up for a five-year plan subscription.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:38 PM (AZGON)

239 I heard she had a kid a while back. Easy birth, the kid just walked out.

Posted by: fluffy steals jokes at March 31, 2010 03:39 PM (4Kl5M)

240 So basically the same amount of skin you expect to see on a San Diego beach?

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at March 31, 2010 03:39 PM (0q2P7)

241 Someplace in the universe, Johnny Cash is playing a song, laughing.

We're so fucked.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:40 PM (C8Pcc)

242
Democrats are like commie snitches.  They don't want to debate, they want to vilify and destroy.


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 03:40 PM (0fzsA)

243

I had an ex that met JJ at a strip club when she was promoting her book. He got his picture with her sans top. He sent it out as his Christmas card.

Did I mention he's an ex?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 03:40 PM (hS7s5)

244

When you are elected as President Monty , I call ATF .

I will be very liberal in the graft I hand out to my AoS cronies.

 

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:41 PM (I2/to)

245 When Monty is POTUS, I call dibs on NASA administrator. I have plans to do really cool stuff. No more of this climate research crap. I promise to put strippers and HD feeds on the International Space Station, and offer to test the military's nukes... atop an Atlas V, sent straight at the moon. And that will be in my first week.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:41 PM (AZGON)

246 Hitler hasn't yet reacted to photos of the flag of the State of Tennessee yet at Tea Party rallies has he?

ace: I'm just wondering about Tao from a general events point of view.

I'm all for free enterprise.  Hell, President Clinton became best buddies with a skin bar operator in Illinois for the access to a new donor base while he was President.  James Levin got pinched for it though.

Posted by: wtfci at March 31, 2010 03:41 PM (EbpbH)

247 All these Vajayjays are making me scared!

Posted by: Robert Pattinson at March 31, 2010 03:42 PM (0q2P7)

248 lacey,

OMFG, really?  what a tool.  I talk some crazy shit on here but I'm married and my wife is my sex goddess.  You had to be just PISSED.  like... clean the toilet with the toothbrush pissed.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:42 PM (C8Pcc)

249 No, Marilyn Manson was in that movie "The Seven Year Itch." I'll concede that one , grudgingly , but she was never the same after John Travolta found her head in that box in the " Fifteen Deadly Sins " .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:42 PM (a9UO0)

250 "238 And yes, how many of you can say that if that bodyguard for Smalley had grabbed your shoulder like that you wouldn't have Krav Maga'd him into a broken collar bone?

No fucking way I'd have let someone do that without painful consequences.

Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me. Ever.

exception: janna jameson

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 08:37 PM (C8Pcc)"

That is what bothered me so.  The dorky recent college graduate who now has a job with Senator Franken cause dad might have been a big donor and this is payback has the audacity to lay a hand on another person????  You just aren't ever supposed to lay a hand on anyone else.  I mean, if he wanted to, this guy mattera could really make an issue out of this.  It is just plain wrong.  ironically not once in watching the tape did I think Senator Franken had anything to fear from mattera but when the little guy got in between him and the senator I got worried that the little guy might hurt mattera. 

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:42 PM (p302b)

251 Sarah Palin Helps Mccain Stump in Leather Outfit

Posted by: Komissar Vladimir at March 31, 2010 07:59 PM (PepU0)

I don't want to see McCain in a leather outfit. Even the daughter would look more like a beach ball in latex.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 03:43 PM (dQdrY)

252
That annoying Dharma from Dharma & Greg is back on TV?

What idiot gave that woman another show?

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 03:43 PM (9X3KM)

253 @ 189 Alright, one of Monty's patented dramatic scenarios! I've been waiting a long time for another of these classics to appear in these hallowed comments. My thanks.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 03:44 PM (iBzKc)

254 I will be very liberal in the graft I hand out to my AoS cronies. Finally , change I can hope for .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:45 PM (a9UO0)

255 246 I had an ex that met JJ at a strip club when she was promoting her book. He got his picture with her sans top. He sent it out as his Christmas card.

Did I mention he's an ex?

Why?  He sounded like such a keeper..*rolls eyes*

/Hope you didn't get anything bad through casual contact from him via JJ's bags of flesh and fat.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:45 PM (otlXg)

256 246

I had an ex that met JJ at a strip club when she was promoting her book. He got his picture with her sans top. He sent it out as his Christmas card.

Did I mention he's an ex?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 08:40 PM (hS7s5)

Just be thankful that he didn't meet Nancy Pelosi at that club.

Posted by: Barney Frank at March 31, 2010 03:45 PM (pk/xZ)

257 What idiot gave that woman another show?

You don't want to know.

Posted by: David Miscavige at March 31, 2010 03:45 PM (EbpbH)

258
I think it's desperation time for the democrats.

They are searching for anything they can find.


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 03:46 PM (0fzsA)

259 Here's a fundraising question.  I've read stories about companies that collect campaign donations and then charge the candidate more than half for the service.  Anyone have a list of these companies, or candidates using them? 

Shaking hands in burlesque parlors--no problem
Flushing my cash down a hole--big problem.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:46 PM (OkT2m)

260 Ah...Club Voyeur.

 Traditional family values...

http://www.voyeur7969.com/gallery.html


 Both parties are corrupt. Both parties are decadent.

 ...and neither one gives a rip about The Constitution.


Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 03:46 PM (E5Er7)

261

Re Jenna Jameson: What exaclty is the difference between a porn star and a mere porn actress? I mean, is there some additional level of thespianism that certain ladies can bring to having sex with one or many strangers that others cannot? How is this determination made? Is there like a Method Acting school for sluts?

Also: how can porn be legal if prostitution isn't? I've never understood how that works. The woman is getting paid to have sex in either scenario, so how come when I do it this guy I know does it, the cops show up and make an arrest?

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 03:46 PM (I2/to)

262 #253 That is what bothered me so.  The dorky recent college graduate who now has a job with Senator Franken cause dad might have been a big donor and this is payback has the audacity to lay a hand on another person????  You just aren't ever supposed to lay a hand on anyone else.  I mean, if he wanted to, this guy mattera could really make an issue out of this.  It is just plain wrong.  ironically not once in watching the tape did I think Senator Franken had anything to fear from mattera but when the little guy got in between him and the senator I got worried that the little guy might hurt mattera.

_________

It's probably Materra's lack of experience, but if you put any one with a military background in his shoes that bodyguard would be nursing a broken arm.  And the courts (because it was on video) would absolutely be on the side of mattera.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:46 PM (C8Pcc)

263 246

I had an ex that met JJ at a strip club when she was promoting her book. He got his picture with her sans top. He sent it out as his Christmas card.

Did I mention he's an ex?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 08:40 PM (hS7s5)

'You hate guys that read and celebrate Christmas?

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at March 31, 2010 03:47 PM (F09Uo)

264

/Hope you didn't get anything bad through casual contact from him via JJ's bags of flesh and fat.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 08:45 PM (otlXg)

What am I, chopped liver?

Posted by: Silicon at March 31, 2010 03:47 PM (pk/xZ)

265 Democrats are desperate for an issue.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 08:33 PM (0fzsA)

In the news today, does Sarah Palin oppose libraries?

In our expose we examine disturbing new evidence that the hard right, Christianist sex kitten has several times failed to return library books on time. In fact, she has been fined at least half a dozen times in the last 20 years.

[cuts to some news gigolo in front of a library]

That's right [some news bimbo's name] we have gotten the records for the Wasilla town library and there is no denying that Palin failed to lived up to her duties while mayor of this tiny, pathetic, hickville town.

[cuts back to news bimbo]

What a sad state of affairs for such a pathetic woman. Coming up after the break, are teabaggers planning to kill your children to harvest their blood for their dark rituals?

Posted by: Scenes from the State Media at March 31, 2010 03:48 PM (bgcml)

266 When I'm NASA administrator, we're not just going to Mars. We're going to Mars with a brand new rover. And that rover will be an Abrams M-1 tank with a pressurized water nuclear reactor, 15 megawatt chemical lasers and a hot tub for the astronauts. Food rations will include Lagavulin 12 year old Scotch and fourteen cases of Arturo Fuentes churchills. That will be in my second week.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:48 PM (AZGON)

267 Drill!  Baby, Drill!

Posted by: Jenna Jameson at March 31, 2010 03:48 PM (eoYH6)

268 "261
I think it's desperation time for the democrats.

They are searching for anything they can find.


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 08:46 PM (0fzsA)"

The dems/libs are really sort of becoming a "buttoned up" bunch.  Well at least for other people.  They can do all the bad stuff they want and no one says a word but they want to make sure that you live a life on the straight and narrow.  They want to make sure you follow all the rules they make so that they can break all the rules and it is that much more exciting.



Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:48 PM (p302b)

269 261 I think it's desperation time for the democrats.

They are searching for anything they can find.

Too bad, in the end, it probably won't help them much.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:49 PM (otlXg)

270 269 When I'm NASA administrator, we're not just going to Mars. We're going to Mars with a brand new rover. And that rover will be an Abrams M-1 tank with a pressurized water nuclear reactor, 15 megawatt chemical lasers and a hot tub for the astronauts. Food rations will include Lagavulin 12 year old Scotch and fourteen cases of Arturo Fuentes churchills.

That will be in my second week.

-------

Good fucking night.... i just pooped myself!

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:49 PM (C8Pcc)

271 when I do it this guy I know does it, the cops show up and make an arrest?

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 08:46 PM (I2/to)

Wives don't fear you'll screw the porn star.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 03:49 PM (dQdrY)

272

My old pal from the Washington Post Amy Akers told me that when Sessions was a Tao there was a Tennessee State flag there.

Sessions is a Nazi, straight up

Posted by: Charles Johnson at March 31, 2010 03:50 PM (fwSHf)

273 #267  What am I, chopped liver?

That's probably the only thing on her germ-free.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:50 PM (otlXg)

274 This equine has been beaten enough.

Posted by: steevy at March 31, 2010 03:51 PM (O0lWK)

275 The politicians had to switch to lesbians because they ran out of pages to molest.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 31, 2010 03:51 PM (r1h5M)

276 Coming up after the break, are teabaggers planning to kill your children to harvest their blood for their dark rituals?

Worse!  We're gonna give 'em a pocket Constitution and tell them they have a right to self-defense AND to the fruits of their own labors!

Nooooooo!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at March 31, 2010 03:51 PM (OkT2m)

277 The woman is getting paid to have sex in either scenario, so how come when I do it this guy I know does it, the cops show up and make an arrest?

Get a permit.  Get a camera.  Get tested first.

Shoot when ready.

Posted by: San Fernando Valley Compliance Officer at March 31, 2010 03:52 PM (EbpbH)

278

This will be the narrative, now, indeed.  Remember, election season is coming, and the Media know who they want to win.  Remember 2008?  No negative press ever for O-Man, nonstop for Republicans. 

Get ready for the Great Ream Forward, 2010.

I know, I'm depressing. 

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at March 31, 2010 03:52 PM (IEJ4J)

279 Also: how can porn be legal if prostitution isn't? I've never understood how that works. The woman is getting paid to have sex in either scenario, so how come when I do it this guy I know does it, the cops show up and make an arrest? On top of my duties at ATF , I will be glad to head up any committee to get to the bottom of this most pressing issue . This has stimulus funding written all over it .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 03:53 PM (a9UO0)

280 Most lesbians I know are conservative.   Here.  I'll stereotype:

They have an excellent work ethic,
They're dedicated
They don't fuck around
They're driven.

I want an entire company filled with lesbians.  I'll rule the goddam world.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 03:53 PM (C8Pcc)

281

The black tea party guy on O' Reilly was a hoot.

He said: Here you have a very wealthy white lady leading a group of black congressmen through the tea party protesters carrying a big gavel. She looked to me like she was carrying a whip!

Posted by: robtr at March 31, 2010 03:53 PM (fwSHf)

282 #280  Worse!  We're gonna give 'em a pocket Constitution and tell them they have a right to self-defense AND to the fruits of their own labors!

Bad for the collective, you dirt-stealing radish.  Off to the camps with you!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 03:54 PM (otlXg)

283 @ 282

Get ready for the Great Ream Forward, 2010.

I know, I'm depressing. 

Posted by: BeckoningChasm

-------------------------------

So this really IS the Jenna Jameson thread.

Posted by: Vile Roman at March 31, 2010 03:54 PM (iBzKc)

284 What am I, chopped liver?

In this context, yep.  Perhaps you were thinking of silicone?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at March 31, 2010 03:54 PM (SHKl9)

285 Slightly related topic:  Be like Mike.

Apparently Tiger Woods has an alibi for his serial infidelities.

Michael Jordan made him do it!

At least that's what his former adviser is told Vanity Fair in a 14-page expose on Woods' women.

"I told him, 'Stay away from that son of a bitch [Jordan], because he doesn't have anything to offer to the f- - -ing world in which he lives except playing basketball, which he did yesterday,' " lawyer John Merchant said.




Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 31, 2010 03:56 PM (7VvJB)

286 WHOA !!!

Did I just hear that right?

Bill O'Rielly picked up the whole $16K tab?

Well played, Sir

Posted by: franksalterego at March 31, 2010 03:56 PM (+6fgE)

287 On top of my duties at ATF , I will be glad to head up any committee to get to the bottom of this most pressing issue . I volunteer to serve on your committee.

Posted by: George Orwell at March 31, 2010 03:56 PM (AZGON)

288 What exaclty is the difference between a porn star and a mere porn actress?

A porn actress is happy to make a few thou doing a movie or two a month while a porn star goes out and hits the clubs across the country to rake in teh big bucks.

Posted by: koopy at March 31, 2010 03:56 PM (ctR4U)

289 The American entreprenurial spirit is not dead!  I just made a deal in Boca Raton for some land where I will be building a senior lesbian bondage theme park for retired politicians.  I will be submitting my application for shovel ready stimulus (no pun intended - senior - hellooo) money tomorrow.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 31, 2010 03:56 PM (r1h5M)

290 Can't we just run some hot conservative lesbian chicks for office?  I think that should clear things up nicely.

Posted by: Terry at March 31, 2010 03:57 PM (Vui52)

291 This post is worthless without pics. 288 posts and it takes an idiot like me to say it. You morons are slacking.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 31, 2010 03:58 PM (9Lm5R)

292 "284 Most lesbians I know are conservative.   Here.  I'll stereotype:

They have an excellent work ethic,
They're dedicated
They don't fuck around
They're driven.

I want an entire company filled with lesbians.  I'll rule the goddam world.

Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010 08:53 PM (C8Pcc)"

Nope, can't have just lesbians...you need balance.  You need gays to make sure no detail is ever overlooked and the environment is beautiful and everyone looks great.  An you need moms and dads cause they need to work for the kids and regular guys and gals cause otherwise the gays and lesbians will fight all the time.  Then you'd have the perfect company.

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 03:58 PM (p302b)

293 247

When you are elected as President Monty , I call ATF .

I will be very liberal in the graft I hand out to my AoS cronies.


Is WH social secretary called yet?  I know almost all of the forks!  go ahead, make that dirty

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 03:58 PM (Kn9r7)

294 Our country is going down the tubes (literally) yet the most important (?) topic under discussion is a FUCKING STRIP JOINT?????????

Posted by: alwyr at March 31, 2010 03:59 PM (w2++y)

295
I don't think the Marine's dad will accept O'Reilly's $ or anyone else's because he wants to have his case settled in the highest Court in the land, first.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 04:00 PM (9X3KM)

296 270 Drill!  Baby, Drill!

Posted by: Jenna Jameson at March 31, 2010 08:48 PM (eoYH6)

Wow.  The same words imply something totally different than they do when Palin says it.

Posted by: Ace's liver at March 31, 2010 04:00 PM (XIXhw)

297

Senator Leghorn: Moving on, Monty -- there is the issue of the party you recently threw at...is this right? Jugg-ler's Den?

Senator Monty: Well, it wasn't really a party. A bunch of dudes just showed up. You know how it is. I know lots of folks at the Den. My aunt Penny worked there for awhile before she married her third husband Duke and moved off to Delacroix.

Senator Leghorn: Well, at any rate, at this...get-together...you were observed to shout, "A beer in every hand and a floozie in every lap! That's America, boys!" What do you have to say to that?

Senator Monty: I'm a man of my word, is what I say to that. I bought those cheap bastards about fifteen rounds that night, and if they didn't have any female company when they left, they weren't tryin'. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, yeah, you know what I'm sayin'. Some people might say that it's a shame what a young lady will do for a crisp hundie, but my eyes get all misty at the sight of a bold young entrepreneur making the most of our free-enterprise system.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 04:01 PM (I2/to)

298
Let me put it another way. The Marine's dad is not gonna pay the Westboro cult a dime until the Supreme Court hears the case and makes a decison.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 04:01 PM (9X3KM)

299 300 Our country is going down the tubes (literally) yet the most important (?) topic under discussion is a FUCKING STRIP JOINT?????????

Posted by: alwyr at March 31, 2010 08:59 PM (w2++y)

Whoa! Did someone say "going down"?

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 04:02 PM (pk/xZ)

300 301
I don't think the Marine's dad will accept O'Reilly's $ or anyone else's because he wants to have his case settled in the highest Court in the land, first.

Posted by: This is Coffin at March 31, 2010 09:00 PM (9X3KM)

I read at Blackfive that the American Legion has already stepped up on the first round of costs, but that they have a fund set up (see AL's BurnPit) for the legal costs of going to the Supreme Court. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 04:03 PM (Kn9r7)

301 I understand that Sessions himself was wearing Jenna Jameson as a hat at that same party.

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at March 31, 2010 04:03 PM (r1h5M)

302 Our country is going down the tubes (literally) yet the most important (?) topic under discussion is a FUCKING STRIP JOINT?????????

someguy, is that you?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at March 31, 2010 04:03 PM (hS7s5)

303

Wow.  The same words imply something totally different than they do when Palin says it.

Posted by: Ace's liver at March 31, 2010 09:00 PM (XIXhw)

No to me.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 04:04 PM (dQdrY)

304 Hey Tao has those sexy girls in bathtubs.  And sexy go-go dancers.  So, you know, OHMYGOD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Posted by: brak at March 31, 2010 04:04 PM (W5NBA)

305

304

And, where would he get the money to carry it that far?

Posted by: franksalterego at March 31, 2010 04:04 PM (+6fgE)

306 311 Hey Tao has those sexy girls in bathtubs.  And sexy go-go dancers.  So, you know, OHMYGOD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Where do you think they come from?

Posted by: Y-not teaches biology at March 31, 2010 04:05 PM (Kn9r7)

307 311 Hey Tao has those sexy girls in bathtubs.  And sexy go-go dancers.  So, you know, OHMYGOD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Posted by: brak at March 31, 2010 09:04 PM (W5NBA)

I sure am...

Posted by: Roman Polanski at March 31, 2010 04:05 PM (pk/xZ)

308 300 Our country is going down the tubes (literally) yet the most important (?) topic under discussion is a FUCKING STRIP JOINT?????????

Posted by: alwyr at March 31, 2010

=====

Well, if the political parties are corrupt and decadent, what does that say about We, the People, who elect and support them?

 The left vs right arguments eventually boil down to, "Which party is more corrupt," and "Why our guy isn't as corrupt as your guy."

...and it's about power and control, and which party we'll all bow down to, like good little peasants should.

 The arguments are seldom about freedom or liberty or even about various and changing interpretations of The Constitution. In fact, if you bring those topics up for discussion at AoS, you're just crazy...at best, annoying..

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 04:05 PM (E5Er7)

309

 The left vs right arguments eventually boil down to, "Which party is more corrupt," and "Why our guy isn't as corrupt as your guy."

Increasingly, the GOP argument seems to be, "We'll ruin you slightly less quickly than the Democrats will!" I find it hard to get excited about that.

On the other hand, I am easily excited by the thoughts of naked women who will do morally questionable things for money. It's an ethical failing, I'm sure, and one of which I should be ashamed. But the limbic system leads; I can only follow.

 

Posted by: Monty at March 31, 2010 04:09 PM (I2/to)

310 Speaking of nontroversies, libs are up in arms over FNC airing an old LL Cool J interview on a show hosted by Palin.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at March 31, 2010 04:09 PM (BiCQw)

311 the meme:

It's OK for democrats to go to strip clubs/burlesque clubs/ sushi bars

It's NOT OK for Republicans, because they are supposed to be perfect.


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 04:10 PM (0fzsA)

312 No, Marilyn Manson was in that movie "The Seven Year Itch."
The M.O. used to play that film just before a run ashore.
I always wondered who that poor schmuck with the exotic crotch rot was.

Posted by: Couldn't give a tired rat's ass where they have a fund raiser. at March 31, 2010 04:10 PM (jI0BL)

313
Our country is going down the tubes (literally) yet the most important (?) topic under discussion is a FUCKING STRIP JOINT?????????


Yes.  The democrats thrive on distractions, destruction and social welfare.

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 04:11 PM (0fzsA)

314  


I love the smell of Corinthian leather and freshly whipped poontang in the morning.


Smells like......smells like victory.

Posted by: The RNC at March 31, 2010 04:11 PM (t72+4)

315 318 the meme:

It's OK for democrats to go to strip clubs/burlesque clubs/ sushi bars

It's NOT OK for Republicans, because they are supposed to be perfect.


Posted by: Lemon Kitten at March 31, 2010 09:10 PM (0fzsA)

But the idiot Independents get lost and wind up at the Bingo hall.

Posted by: TexasJew at March 31, 2010 04:11 PM (pk/xZ)

316

Hey morons, this is OT but you oughtta read it and be aware:

 

http://tinyurl.com/yafn8b3

 

Anarchists (!) intend to infiltrate tea parties on the 15th.

Posted by: Truman North at March 31, 2010 04:12 PM (FjC5u)

317 Some new slogans for the GOP:

republican PARTAY!
You'll tap more than the keg at the Republican Party!
IF she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she's had stuck in her, she'd be a Republican! (okay, this one is still in beta)


Posted by: jwpaine at March 31, 2010 04:13 PM (g4J4S)

318 OMG, these comments are hilarious, back to finish reading but THANKS all, I needed a good laugh.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 31, 2010 04:13 PM (dkExz)

319 In fact, if you bring those topics up for discussion at AoS, you're just crazy...at best, annoying.. Perhaps we can finally solve these problems by whining impotently on the internet without once proposing a solution. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 31, 2010 04:14 PM (9Lm5R)

320
#316
Might I interest you in The Royal Society for the Redemption of Morally Reduced Young  Women?
Some may say the cigars, cognac and cravats are little more than a nod to respectability, however 'tis a noble cause.

Posted by: Couldn't give a tired rat's ass where they have a fund raiser. at March 31, 2010 04:15 PM (jI0BL)

321 I can't pin it down , but every time Bonesteel posts , I get this unexplainable uneasy feeling .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at March 31, 2010 04:15 PM (a9UO0)

322 Okay, MSM, thanks, got it, I'm supposed to be a cartoon prudish religionist that would never vote for a politician because I'm more interested in being a blue-nose than in getting communist scum that are violating my rights and killing my country the fuck out of power. 

Posted by: nickless at March 31, 2010 04:15 PM (MMC8r)

323

Whatever. If this came out October 15th it might be a real problem. Today, not so much.

Posted by: Ed Anger at March 31, 2010 04:16 PM (7+pP9)

324 #323  Anarchists (!) intend to infiltrate tea parties on the 15th.

College kids with black masks around their faces.  What's their beef with a smaller government?  Isn't that closer to their "anarchism" anyway?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 04:16 PM (otlXg)

325 Bill O'Rielly picked up the whole $16K tab?

Well played, Sir

Posted by: franksalterego at March 31, 2010 08:56 PM (+6fgE)

Good on him. I do wish that he didn't refer to the Phelps phuckers as "far-right nuts," though, given that they are Democrats.

Posted by: Herr Blcher at March 31, 2010 04:16 PM (dB7gZ)

326 I can't pin it down , but every time Bonesteel posts , I get this unexplainable uneasy feeling .

He gives me a boner.

Posted by: Eric Massa at March 31, 2010 04:17 PM (MMC8r)

327 231 This is getting fucking ridiculous. The list of "Thou Shalt Nots" is multiplying here at an ungodly rate.

This is why I love Ace. I went into a rant at my (29 y.o.) sons at Thanksgiving about how the (R)'s need to be the fiscal conservatives and forget about the social conservative shit. Balance a budget, with cost saving measures - not more taxes, leave the rest of us alone to be as religious or non-religious, as funky as we want to be.
----------

I confess that since moving to California three years ago I've experienced two major political shifts... which I think are actually somewhat inconsistent with each other, but still. 

I've gone from being an agnostic on gay marriage to being opposed. 

And I've found that I have to actively fight the urge to want the GOP to purge social cons (for want of a better term) from the party. 

The former is because no one has yet explained to me what damage is done to gay couples and their families/kids that cannot be remedied with existing partnership laws here (and/or with new laws).  If I read/heard a cogent argument for gay marriage (ie: one that didn't involve comparisons to the civil rights or suffrage movements), I'd reconsider that.

The latter is because the socons seem more intent on policing people's personal lives across the entire U.S., not just in their backyards, than they are familiar with (or embrace) the concept of federalism.  If I met a social con who embraced federalism, I'd feel better.  (Also, with the Mormons that we have out here in California, who really stand up and take some shit from both sides for their trouble, I have really become disgusted by the subset of socons who call LDS members satanists.)

There.  That's my confession. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 04:17 PM (Kn9r7)

328 Anarchists (!) intend to infiltrate tea parties on the 15th. Anarchists calling to ORGANIZE counter-protests..... Heh.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 31, 2010 04:18 PM (9Lm5R)

329
@323 If somethin happens, I put my money on the tea partiers kickin some hippy butt. (course then they will probably invite them to their house for a hot meal and their yearly shower)

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at March 31, 2010 04:19 PM (7VvJB)

330

The Party of Hate can have a bondage orgy at my place any time they want...just give me a day to round up the boyz.

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at March 31, 2010 04:19 PM (1vcwB)

331

"It's OK for democrats to go to strip clubs/burlesque clubs/ sushi bars"

Fools.  I was banging a campaign assistant before the 2006 elections.  The MSM found out.  ABC had an exclusive 1 hr taped interview w/ her.  See it?  No.  Embargoed.  Not relevant.  The assistant.  Whisked away to South Africa for the duration.

Posted by: John "Bring It On" Kerry at March 31, 2010 04:20 PM (ucq49)

332 #335  Anarchists spoiled college kids wearing black masks calling to ORGANIZE counter-protests disruptions in the Alinsky style.....

FIFY.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 04:20 PM (otlXg)

333 Two Republicans walk into a bar.... Racists!!!!

Posted by: eman at March 31, 2010 04:20 PM (3fzoU)

334 Anarchist supporting Govt. Programs? WTF

Posted by: jamie at March 31, 2010 04:21 PM (CTJDC)

335 Come on admit it...you fucking miss me, don't you? 

Posted by: someguy at March 31, 2010 04:21 PM (6DDE+)

336 226 Honestly, I'm with Ace:  Republicans (single ones) should be visiting strip clubs.  In Vegas.  They should be extolling the benefits of CAPITALISM.  They should be living the life any single capitalist male would live and FUCK the media. 

Fuck tingly legs.
Fuck Olberdouche.
Fuck anderson clueless.
Fuck Larry How-the-fuck-am-i-still-alive King.

Man up, girls.
Posted by: tangonine at March 31, 2010

You forgot one thing:  fuck strippers.

But you've touched on it and someone else did.  Something like this is about building a network of influential people.  I guess this rules out ace.

I can see how some would resent this, but imagine if we were the ones who could reach out to Silicon Valley and LA?

You know what?  FUCK the media.  They will blow anything out of proportion, so why not do something productive.

Buy a fucking jet.  Buy 5 jets.  Fly them in to events from the Eastern Corridor, West Coast, Southeast, Midwest and Southwest.  Does that sound crazy?

Posted by: putting on a clinic for someguy at March 31, 2010 04:22 PM (0ZKiP)

337 It's Tao for God's sake not Tony Soprano's Bada Bing!

Posted by: mpfs at March 31, 2010 04:22 PM (QuP9W)

338

"Come on admit it...you fucking miss me, don't you?  "

Like screaming hurt, rectal cancer.

Posted by: Sean Pemmdick at March 31, 2010 04:23 PM (ucq49)

339 337

The Party of Hate can have a bondage orgy at my place any time they want...just give me a day to round up the boyz.

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at March 31, 2010 09:19 PM (1vcwB)

I'm so there!

Posted by: The Real Andrew at March 31, 2010 04:23 PM (6DDE+)

340 311 Hey Tao has those sexy girls in bathtubs.  And sexy go-go dancers.  So, you know, OHMYGOD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

Posted by: brak at March 31, 2010 09:04 PM (W5NBA)


Oh I do.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at March 31, 2010 04:25 PM (XIXhw)

341



The Party of Hate can have a bondage orgy at my place any time they want...just give me a day to round up the boyz.

Posted by: Bwaney Fwank at March 31, 2010 09:19 PM (1vcwB)

I'm so there!

Posted by: The Real Andrew at March 31, 2010 09:23 PM (6DDE+)




I'll bring some comic books and a sybian.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at March 31, 2010 04:25 PM (t72+4)

342 Buy a fucking jet.  Buy 5 jets.  Fly them in to events from the Eastern Corridor, West Coast, Southeast, Midwest and Southwest.  Does that sound crazy?

Posted by: putting on a clinic for someguy at March 31, 2010 09:22 PM (0ZKiP)

Now you're fucking talking!!!  And like I told you two nights ago, don't forget to give it to your wife in your parents driveway -- just lift that skirt up and MAN UP!  YEAH!!!...some smackdown upside someguy shit right there!!!

Posted by: someguy at March 31, 2010 04:26 PM (6DDE+)

343 How man here know what a priapisic victory is?
Posted by: Jim in San Diego


Isn't that where you have an erection lasting for more than four hours?



I defend Kratos!

Posted by: mpfs at March 31, 2010 04:28 PM (QuP9W)

344 It's OK for democrats to go to strip clubs/burlesque clubs/ sushi bars

On a serious note, there is some logic to that.  People who vote for Barney Frank know what they're getting so if he gets caught with a gay hooker it's no surprise to anyone.

When you have a Republican who's been running on a "family values" platform caught with a gay hooker, it's a totally different thing because of the hypocrisy.

Posted by: Ace's liver at March 31, 2010 04:28 PM (XIXhw)

345 If you think the boys hanging out at the bondage club was bad, you should have been a fly on the wall when they came over to my place.  Those Republicans know how to spend some cash..

(waving a fist full of $100 bills)

Posted by: Vegas Madam at March 31, 2010 04:29 PM (pq986)

346 There.  That's my confession. 

Posted by: Y-not at March 31, 2010 09:17 PM (Kn9r7)

What law has the Christian Right gotten passed recently, that is cramping your style?

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 04:29 PM (dQdrY)

347 342 Come on admit it...you fucking miss me, don't you? 

Posted by: someguy at March 31, 2010 09:21 PM (6DDE+)


With every shot so far...

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of His Inner Someguy at March 31, 2010 04:29 PM (erIg9)

348

"The Party of Hate can have a bondage orgy at my place any time they want...just give me a day to round up the boyz."

How'd that male prostitution ring, run out of your NYC apt work for you?  MSM didn't complain?  DNC didn't bat an eye at you?

Nevermind.

Posted by: lib fairness doctrine at work at March 31, 2010 04:29 PM (ucq49)

349 #350  Isn't that where you have an erection lasting for more than four hours?

I defend Kratos!

Thanks but..uh...major non sequitur here? 

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at March 31, 2010 04:31 PM (otlXg)

350 Hee hee, shamelessly stolen from teh intertubes

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity."
The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher said, "No shit?"

Posted by: koopy at March 31, 2010 04:31 PM (ctR4U)

351
Some new slogans for the GOP:

republican PARTAY!
Posted by: jwpaine




We're Not The Party Of "No" Anymore. We're The Party Of "Ho".

Posted by: Michael Steele at March 31, 2010 04:33 PM (t72+4)

352 someguy, you have to learn to let go of the past; let go of the hate you feel.  Love the person that we are -- embrace your feelings and release your emotional grief.  We have so much to give the world...

Posted by: someguy's inner child at March 31, 2010 04:34 PM (6DDE+)

353 Monty, Ima vote for you, but could you please sign an executive order repealing every law since 1918 or so, you know, before you upchuck on the WH lawn again?

Posted by: RushBabe at March 31, 2010 04:34 PM (LKkE8)

354 360 someguy, you have to learn to let go of the past; let go of the hate you feel.  Love the person that we are -- embrace your feelings and release your emotional grief.  We have so much to give the world...

Posted by: someguy's inner child at March 31, 2010 09:34 PM (6DDE+)


I don't think that's so much his inner child, as his inner teh ghey.

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, Bacons, and Really Really Expensive Scotch at March 31, 2010 04:35 PM (erIg9)

355 The RNC should only raise money from concerned Christian conservatives at yard sales and swap meets. 

Posted by: Purity Republican at March 31, 2010 07:48 PM (Kn9r7)

This won't work. There could be some yard sale, somewhere, that is selling a RACY ITEM!!!!!!111111 Church ladies can't let that happen.

Posted by: Craig at March 31, 2010 04:36 PM (p84N3)

356 I've never met a church lady as uptight as a feminist DA.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 31, 2010 04:38 PM (dQdrY)

357 I'ma so sorry thata this someaguy is abotherin you gooda peoples here ataaceodaspades...I'ma gonnagetem rightaoutta here righta now...Hokay?

Posted by: someguy's Godfather at March 31, 2010 04:42 PM (6DDE+)

358 #350  Isn't that where you have an erection lasting for more than four hours?

I defend Kratos!

Thanks but..uh...major non sequitur here? 
Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus)

My bad.

Posted by: mpfs at March 31, 2010 04:47 PM (QuP9W)

359 someguy, you have to hold every grudge close to your heart.  Hate the person that we are -- embrace your hatred and release your emotional weakness.  Feel your hate flowwwwwww.

Posted by: someguy's dark mentor at March 31, 2010 04:49 PM (XIXhw)

360

Ace shilling for the RNC again tonight...last night he was going to do some serious investigative gumshoe work casing the furniture and decorations at the Bondage joint.... and tonight it's no big deal to have rubber chicken dinners with Jenna "Ive had more shit shot at my face than 50cent"  Jameson at a strip club.

Your RNC dollars 'hard' at work.... then you wonder why our elected Republican representatives can't even defeat a speeding ticket against the Dem's.... something's wrong with the whole narrative no matter how you spin it.

Tommorrow we see Michael Steele rip off his face only to find out it was a mask with Ace underneath..... I'll have you fill out the 25 questionaire's and survey's I recieved from the RNC in the past 6 months... another waste of money.

If you want to return this party to any sense of normalcy, you have to ditch Steele first... I can't say it enough times. The only reason that the Republicans get a second life come November is that the American people might actually reject Marxism for a few moments.

Posted by: Last Conservative In Brooklyn at March 31, 2010 04:52 PM (7uAeI)

361 221 Folks, Tao is just a fucking restaurant. And I can guaran-damn-tee you that even the Denny's in Pahrump has had several dozen hookers in it at one point. So unless you want all fundraisers as box lunch affairs on the side of I-15, buckle up

Hey, the Waffle House on Chesire Bridge in Atlanta is full of strippers at 3 am.  And the waitresses are mostly transvestites, at various stages. I know these things from personal experience.

Posted by: wooga at March 31, 2010 04:55 PM (2p0e3)

362 Ennui, ennui, desperate and bleak,
Where lies the passion that you seek?
Boring, snoring, decadent and drear,
Is dissipation what you hold dear?

Posted by: Warren Bonesteel at March 31, 2010 04:56 PM (E5Er7)

363 "Cheshire" is the correct spelling for #370.

Posted by: wooga at March 31, 2010 04:57 PM (2p0e3)

364

@334: "If I met a social con who embraced federalism, I'd feel better."

Hi, nice to meet you. Other than the supreme court making abortion a federal case, I'm all for federalism. The more local the gov't, the better.

I might express an opinion on what you should do, but I don't for a second want to legislate it (unless you are, like, killing someone or such.)

Posted by: Randy at March 31, 2010 04:57 PM (4g0OL)

365 and tonight it's no big deal to have rubber chicken dinners with Jenna "Ive had more shit shot at my face than 50cent"  Jameson at a strip club.

Posted by: Last Conservative In Brooklyn at March 31, 2010 09:52 PM (7uAeI)

I think you might want to re-read the post again.  Pay close attention to the Jenna part.

Posted by: Tami at March 31, 2010 05:02 PM (VuLos)

366 I thought Jason Mattera was very cute.

Posted by: curious at March 31, 2010 05:04 PM (p302b)

367 "Last Conservative In Brooklyn": I don't know if you've heard, but fucking a chicken does not make it turn into a beautiful princess.

But by all means keep doing what you're doing.

Posted by: Zimriel at March 31, 2010 05:05 PM (eop6z)

368 Is Last Conservative In Brooklyn someguy or Barbarian?  I need a program.

Posted by: lMDr VB1.0 CS1st at March 31, 2010 05:26 PM (ucq49)

369 1.) Waitasec, I haven't been keeping up - did we actually decide to ban someguy or not?  If so, I should have had the symbolic honor of being the guy to flip the switch, for fuck's sake.

2.) Thanks, Daily Caller!  Your stupid attempt at a smear piece on Michael Steele (who ought to go, don't get me wrong) has boomeranged!  Now not only have you damaged your own fledgling credibility, you've hurt the GOP and the conservative cause!  Assholes!

3.) Tao is such a hipster douchebag place it makes me vomit.  Vomit.

Posted by: Jeff B. at March 31, 2010 05:30 PM (GhUHn)

370 I'm still confused why naked chicks are essential to conducting business.

Posted by: misty at March 31, 2010 05:48 PM (2xS9K)

371

Tao is racy? Tao attracts a young party crowd, but what, exactly, makes it "racy"? Its Asian fusion menu?

No. That makes it "ricey."

Posted by: Aaron at March 31, 2010 06:03 PM (XUIJ5)

372

379 I'm still confused why naked chicks are essential to conducting business.

And that is why you'll never succeed in business.

Posted by: Aaron at March 31, 2010 06:04 PM (XUIJ5)

373 284 Most lesbians I know are conservative.   Here.  I'll stereotype:

They have an excellent work ethic,
They're dedicated
They don't fuck around
They're driven.


And they like to play golf.

Posted by: Aaron at March 31, 2010 06:11 PM (XUIJ5)

374

"And they like to play golf."

What's par for their hole?

Posted by: couldn't help myself at March 31, 2010 06:27 PM (ucq49)

375 **I'm still confused why naked chicks are essential to conducting business.

And that is why you'll never succeed in business.

Posted by: Aaron at March 31, 2010 11:04 PM (XUIJ5) **

 

 

Alright.   That's genuinely funny :-)  One of the reasons I like this site even though I'm not as depraved as some of you.

Posted by: misty at March 31, 2010 07:34 PM (2xS9K)

376

purple avenger. show us yer toolbox luv!

 

Posted by: boob-gnomes at March 31, 2010 07:48 PM (+8Y9F)

377

I think about 6 months ago some website (Gawker? Jezebel?) had a pic of Tiger Woods at Tao getting jiggy with some hawtie. Can't be all bad!

Politicians, God love 'em!

Posted by: keena at March 31, 2010 08:27 PM (FUo3j)

378 Is this some clever like a fox ploy by the GOP to win over young voters and steal away the gay and lesbian vote?

Posted by: Bald Ninja at April 01, 2010 02:24 AM (4pdbX)

379

Spin, spin, spin.  You just keep spinning, Ace.  What if this had been a Democratic congressman?  You'd then be saying, "Look, Democrats go to dirty places too!  This is just as bad as what the RNC staffer did!"

Spin, spin, spin.  The truth is tiresome, I guess.

Posted by: Sally Ann Cavanaugh at April 01, 2010 03:53 AM (FRErk)

380 Um, I've been to Tao. It's just another hipster nightclub frequented by the occasional celeb. Nothing at all racy about it.

Posted by: ericinva at April 01, 2010 04:33 AM (GaXpK)

381

102 Stories coming right up:

Michelle Obama has Larger Staff than Husband

Well we all knew he was a needle dick.

Posted by: rightzilla at April 01, 2010 06:09 AM (rVJH4)

382 382 284 Most lesbians I know are conservative.   Here.  I'll stereotype:

They have an excellent work ethic,
They're dedicated
They don't fuck around
They're driven.


And they like to play golf.

Posted by: Aaron at March 31, 2010 11:11 PM (XUIJ5)

YOU KID...right? The drama queen lesbos I have encountered (and as an athlete...well, you know the cowd.....PMS out of relationships continually. Theya re dedicated and driven to drive their partners oput and get a new one! AND they worship Obamatard!

Posted by: rightzilla at April 01, 2010 06:13 AM (rVJH4)

383

next thing ya know they'll be playing jazz music...

Posted by: shoey at April 01, 2010 06:37 AM (Ed9Xn)

384 And how does this make them look bad? hmmm

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 01, 2010 08:02 AM (snlsw)

385 ACE! I'm shocked, SHOCKED that you didn't link some love to Hot Chicks with Douchebags! For the curious, I've linked it at my name.

Posted by: Eric at April 01, 2010 01:49 PM (Qc/s6)

386 Reliable and professional website for retail where you can buy Clearance MBT Shoes, Air Yeezy Shoes and Air Max 2010 with free shipping

Posted by: puma running shoes at April 01, 2010 11:29 PM (ULaGr)

387 I've been to Tao, and it's a great restaurant.  One of their sushi rolls is called the "Angry Dragon".  So apparently, Pete Sessions was running around doing Angry Dragons at a cyclic rate.

Posted by: brando at April 02, 2010 05:08 AM (IPGju)

388 I really enjoy reading your blog as the postings are so simple to read and follow. Outstanding. Please keep it up. Thanks.

Posted by: Thomas And Sabo at June 22, 2011 09:41 PM (rDuNS)

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