January 31, 2006
— Ace "The Impaler"? Stalking? The Deuce you say!
Jonathon The Impaler Sharkey, who announced in Princeton Jan. 13 that he was running for governor, was arrested at his Princeton apartment about 8:30 Monday evening.
Princeton officer Todd Frederick initiated a search yesterday afternoon that led to the discovery of two active felony warrants from... Indiana.
The 2005 warrants were issued in May for stalking and in September for escape on a $100,000 bond.
Just because you're hiding in the bushes, going through someone's trash, and collecting toe-nail clippings and discarded bandages doesn't mean you're "stalking."
Followers of the Dark Lord of Blood know that these steps are necessary to construct a voodoo doll.
The authorities call it "stalking." I call it "Magikal Path courting."
"You will love me, or I will bathe in
your blood before the Children of Babylon!
How's the Olive Garden at eight-ish sound?"
More Geek Jokes: Brain B--
So he failed his Move Silently and Hide in Shadow rolls?
Critical miss resulting in... let me look this up on my tables and matrices... loss of 4 Wisdom points and a booking on a Class C Felony. Ooooh! That's going to leave a mark!
Cleric! I need a Restoration spell! And a Reduce Bail spell!
Posted by: Brian B at January 31, 2006 07:31 AM (rGfpg)
I like it better my way. It rolls off the tongue better.
Posted by: Bart at January 31, 2006 07:32 AM (RKX+4)
Posted by: River Rat at January 31, 2006 07:38 AM (SSrbd)
Well, yeah. Course not.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 31, 2006 07:40 AM (ATFQb)
Jonathan The Impaler Sharkey is a political prisoner for Satan!
I wonder if he can do that jailhouse finger regrowing that the Satanists could do in Revalations.
Posted by: Iblis at January 31, 2006 07:41 AM (9221z)
Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at January 31, 2006 07:43 AM (JKlMI)
Posted by: bbeck at January 31, 2006 07:47 AM (qF8q3)
What a fraud, I bet he isn't even a real Vampire.
Posted by: scott at January 31, 2006 07:51 AM (Ffvoi)
Posted by: Sobek at January 31, 2006 07:59 AM (6GK9U)
Posted by: Pixelfash at January 31, 2006 08:04 AM (O+1/6)
Posted by: Harry Callahan at January 31, 2006 08:25 AM (Xroyb)
Posted by: wiaserbud at January 31, 2006 08:27 AM (AQGeh)
Posted by: someone at January 31, 2006 08:42 AM (6Swlb)
Posted by: Pixelflash at January 31, 2006 11:02 AM (O+1/6)
Posted by: John at January 31, 2006 01:15 PM (acjPX)
Posted by: someone at January 31, 2006 01:53 PM (6Swlb)
I originally thought that the second sword was a torn piece of siding, but further scrutiny shows that the building in the background is a cinder block structure.
Posted by: Russ from Winterset at January 31, 2006 02:34 PM (Ffvoi)
Oh yeah. And because he's undead.
Posted by: Red Jode at January 31, 2006 03:47 PM (qlIsS)
Posted by: Bill H at January 31, 2006 06:51 PM (Lvedx)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at January 31, 2006 06:57 PM (nVA0o)
Posted by: Bill H at January 31, 2006 07:04 PM (Lvedx)
Posted by: spurwing plover at February 02, 2006 04:57 PM (ciw10)
Posted by: Rhinestone Suderman at March 02, 2010 04:25 AM (q5Hmz)
Posted by: Indonesia Furniture Handicraft Wholesale Marketplace at August 24, 2010 08:23 PM (zf61z)
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