August 30, 2004
— Ace (ranked in order of ascending importance)
10. Scoring front-row tickets to a Madonna concert and enough Ecstacy to make it through all of her new shit without falling asleep
9. Winning a victory in the War on Terror, and thereby safeguarding and securing the very continued existance of our civilization
7. Collecting enough money in the "bandwidth fund" to buy that adorable cobalt-blue PT Cruiser with the kitschy-cute leatherette seats (categorized in the accounting-books as a "physical-transport bandwidth upgrade")
6. His treasured tool-box filled with sketch-pads, sketching pencils, charcoals, and watercolors; or, as he calls them, his "Tools of the Soul"
5. Delighting over the pro-metrosexual subtext of Goofus and Gallant cartoons ("Goofus goes out with a head of hair that can break a rake/Gallant uses Paul Mitchell styling gel to sculpt his "fauxhawk" doo; Goofus watches television all night/Gallant reads Oscar Wilde and weightlifting magazines")
4. His three beloved beagles, named Reagan, Thatcher, and Mr. McFloppyears
3. The annual Provincetown "Top-Hats & White Spats" Ball
2. That a socially liberal "conservative" party will one day form, led by John McCain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rudy Guilliani, and disco diva Kylie Minogue
...and the Number One Thing Which is Important to Andrew Sullivan...
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 11:06 AM (RGQgo)
Posted by: Jim at August 30, 2004 11:07 AM (IOwam)
Posted by: Ace at August 30, 2004 11:08 AM (RGQgo)
A lot of times I'm called upon to drop a "hip" reference, but I have no idea what the hell is hip. I've heard of Kylie Minogue, but I can't name one of her songs nor could I tell you what the hell she looks like.
I don't even know if she's still hip. It's been three or four years since I've heard of her, so she's probably not hip at all at this point.
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 11:13 AM (RGQgo)
You are forgiven. I have no idea who Kylie Minogue is, either.
Posted by: SWLiP at August 30, 2004 11:19 AM (WfQGW)
My favorite. No doubt. From this guys whining and constant fundraising you would think he has the bandwidth drain of amazon, msn, and aol combined.
BTW another brilliant top ten
Posted by: Jennifer at August 30, 2004 11:22 AM (EFbG1)
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 11:25 AM (RGQgo)
But that's just my vain, feminine side talking. I must destroy that side.
Posted by: Rocketeer at August 30, 2004 11:28 AM (RGO9Y)
I'm going to replace that one as soon as I can think of something else.
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 11:30 AM (RGQgo)
Kylie's famous for the junk in the trunk. Seriously nice pooper.
Posted by: spongeworthy at August 30, 2004 11:41 AM (uSomN)
Posted by: Jeff B. at August 30, 2004 11:41 AM (037AZ)
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 11:45 AM (RGQgo)
Posted by: SWLiP at August 30, 2004 11:46 AM (WfQGW)
Posted by: SWLiP at August 30, 2004 11:47 AM (WfQGW)
Posted by: SWLiP at August 30, 2004 11:48 AM (WfQGW)
I know who Kylie Minogue is. Her music's okay, if you're into club music (I know you aren't, but I heard that Johnny Coldcuts is crazy shizzy for German Industrial). Anyways, she's pretty hot, for someone her age. Google her and you'll like.
She definitely got out of the 1980's alive and well and looking better than before, unlike Madonna, who looks like something I dropped.
Posted by: Dave at August 30, 2004 11:48 AM (rV7Dk)
Posted by: Joe R. at August 30, 2004 12:10 PM (DHwcf)
Seriously, I'm bald, but I actually kind of like it. It looks good on a hetero like me. Although invariably, liberal Massachusetts acquaintances end up muttering "always knew he was a goddamn skinhead" under their breath when they find out I'm a Republican voting for W.
Posted by: Rocketeer at August 30, 2004 12:32 PM (RGO9Y)
Posted by: kazizzle at August 30, 2004 12:43 PM (DiZv6)
Posted by: ace at August 30, 2004 12:50 PM (RGQgo)
Posted by: Sean M. at August 30, 2004 12:55 PM (F168B)
1. Her "one-hit wonder" single in the USA was a cover version of "Locomotion" (Do the lo-co-motion with meeee....)
2. When INXS was a happening band, she spent her days banging Michael Hutchence.
3. She is known for starring in an Australian soap opera entitiled "Neighbours". Similarly, and a little Jessica Simpson-y as well, her younger sister Danni starred in an Aussie soap called "Home and Away".
This is more than you ever wanted to know about KM. But if you lived in Britain in the early 90's as I did, you learn these things....
Posted by: Senator PhilABuster at August 30, 2004 02:45 PM (yucew)
by the way, in Australia, she is affectionately known as the singing budgie.
Posted by: Anita at August 30, 2004 08:30 PM (O81zL)
Listen, I might not vote - or swing - the same way, but the man has TASTE!
Now if I could persuade him to try a Mannlicher in .375 Rimless Nitro Express, just for cool... You SAW African Queen, right?
Posted by: ChrisPer at August 31, 2004 03:57 PM (om7a2)
Posted by: at February 06, 2005 03:42 PM (L8MRY)
Posted by: Chanel Bags at May 07, 2012 01:31 PM (AeZpR)
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