September 30, 2011

Today's Lesson In Punitive Taxation
There's A Point When You've Scored Enough Points*

— andy

11 year-old Demias Jimerson is learning a valuable lesson in "fairness" this football season.

"He is going to score almost every time he touches the ball," said Wilson Intermediate School Principal Terri Bryant.

And because of the injustice ... an outrage, really ... of having a player on the team who so outshines his peers, the Wilson Intermediate Football League is invoking something called the "Madre Hill Rule"

Once Hill scored three touchdowns, if his team had a 14-point lead, officials banned him from scoring any more touchdowns.

Wait. What?

I grew up in Georgia in the '70s and remember when Herschel Walker ran roughshod over any opponent that faced him. He racked up over 3,000 yards rushing in his senior year alone on the way to a state championship. No one, to my recollection, ever talked about how awful it was that Herschel kicked so much ass. No, the talk was about what could be done (wink, nod) to get him to commit to play for [insert favorite NCAA Division I team here]. My, how times have changed.

The Madre Hill Rule is, in effect, a 100% marginal tax rate on touchdowns. I'm surprised the district didn't update it for the Age of Obama™ and let Jimerson score but then redistribute some of his points to the other team. A Jimerson surtax, if you will.

To run with this idea a little more (and ignoring PAT's), if the redistribution was, say, 5 points for his own team and 1 point for the other team, I'm sure the coach would let him keep scoring. 4 to 2? Maybe.

But once it got to parity, the coach would be telling him to run as hard as he can to the one yard line and then go out of bounds or down the ball so he could take three cracks at the goal line with a kid that could get him the full 6 point advantage over the other team. The league would immediately begin referring to this as the Jimerson loophole and then institute even more cockeyed rules that had the effect of keeping the kid on the sidelines or off the playing field entirely. Hmmm ... seems familiar somehow.

And why? All in the name of "fairness", that's why. Too much trouble to ask other teams to rise to the challenge and design a defense to stop him, I guess. Nope, it's just not fair that he's so good, so we have to erect roadblocks in his path.

And this prepares the other kids for life in the real world, where there's always someone bigger, faster, stronger, smarter or better in some way how again? Answer: it doesn't but the primary goal of our education system is keeping teachers and administrators employed so shut up.

Master Jimerson appears to be a fine young man who's taking all this in stride, though:

"I'm gonna run hard and bring our team to victory," said Jimerson. Then he added, "but God always comes first, before anything, and grades second."

I hope he continues to score every time he touches the ball despite this dumb rule. And if he should happen to see this post, there's an inspirational video tucked below the fold that I hope he keeps in mind when he's picking colleges in a few years.

*Excellent alternate title suggested by Soothsayer in the comments This could be you in the Red and Black, buddy:

Posted by: andy at 07:02 AM | Comments (150)
Post contains 593 words, total size 4 kb.

1 And if he should happen to see this post, there's an inspirational video tucked below the fold that I hope he keeps in mind when he's picking colleges in a few years.

I thought it was gonna be the "Shake Weight" video...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 30, 2011 07:05 AM (136wp)

2 Come north to Penn State, young Mr. Jimerson. JoePa may still be there.

Posted by: either orr at September 30, 2011 07:06 AM (YcNzq)

3

I'd like to see the ruling on the field when he scores his third touchdown.  Is it ruled a touchback?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 30, 2011 07:06 AM (ItDg4)

4 Unbelievable.

The other kids will get better by playing with him when he's playing at his best.  What's next? Not letting the better students take the last third of a test so that they score similar grades to the mediocre students?

Posted by: Ima Wurdibitsch at September 30, 2011 07:07 AM (fk/lm)

5 When does the "Wilson Intermediate Football League" ditch football and switch to hacky-sack?

Cripes, this sounds like something you'd find in Portland, Seattle or San Francisco.

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 30, 2011 07:08 AM (YjjrR)

6 Andy, outstanding analogy.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at September 30, 2011 07:09 AM (ZDUD4)

7 ... meanwhile, the SCOAMF complains that we've gone soft.

Posted by: weew at September 30, 2011 07:10 AM (7RbIF)

8 We have become a nation of pussies.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 30, 2011 07:10 AM (iAUf+)

9

That is not an inspiration video.

Now Bo Jackson blasting Brian Bosworth............

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at September 30, 2011 07:10 AM (OWjjx)

10 What they are in effect doing is limiting the opposing linebackers and safeties from developing their true potential at the same time.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at September 30, 2011 07:11 AM (ItDg4)

11 8 ... meanwhile, the SCOAMF complains that we've gone soft.

Actually, that was Kal Penn complaining about him...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 30, 2011 07:11 AM (136wp)

12 I've got a scholarship waiting for him. We need his kind at my school.

Posted by: Joe Paterno at September 30, 2011 07:13 AM (QyeW7)

13 This makes me want to watch "The Incredibles" again for some reason...

Posted by: Slublog at September 30, 2011 07:13 AM (0nqdj)

14 I remember playing against Johnny Hector in football and Mike Sanders in Basketball in Highschool. As someone said above it made me a better player and I had my best games. Still got our asses kicked.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at September 30, 2011 07:13 AM (Cs6bg)

15
alternate title: There's A Point When You've Scored Enough Points

Posted by: Soothsayer at September 30, 2011 07:13 AM (sqkOB)

16 How offensive to the other team! Whenever I played against a really good player in any sport, it was always a fun challenge to try to stop him - no matter what the margin. "Next time, I'll get him!" - that's how you improve.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at September 30, 2011 07:13 AM (JNqU9)

17 I can understand the WIFL's position here.  We're not talking about high school level football, where you have a larger pool of players who've pretty much gone through puberty.  We're talking about grade schoolers at various points of physical development.  If Hill has matured a year earlier than his cohort, he can walk all over them, and that removes any incentive to play if you're still a pre-pubescent shrimp, so you want to put a cap on him for the time being to prevent running up the score.  Is it a bit unfair to him? Yeah, but he's not the only one playing and learning, and give it another two years, he'll be turned loose.

Think of it this way.  In the Little Leagues, some coaches figured out that you can just not swing, and get your players on base, because most kids at that age can't consistently throw strikes.  So, what you have is pitcher after pitcher reduced to tears as kids walk home.  Sure, you win a lot of games, but what's the point.

Posted by: Schaeffer at September 30, 2011 07:14 AM (ZN0re)

18 As a (now former) youth soccer coach, I hate rules like this.  I've been in leagues where if you score 6 or more goals than the other team, they get an extra player.  9+, and its another extra player.

A friend of mine was coaching in a league where if you scored 6+, he had to take a player off.  He complained about the rule during the coaches meeting before the season, arguing that the player he had to take off paid money to the league to play, and not sit.  But the-know-it-alls running the league 'knew better'.  So the first time it happened (his team was up 6 goals), he took a player off, the told his team to score an own goal (score on their own team) restoring a 5 goal lead and putting the taken off player back on the field.

And don't even get me started on the rule in Ottawa where the team going up by 6 goals LOSES THE GAME.

But yes, how are you supposed to get better unless you are playing against better competition?

Posted by: CUS at September 30, 2011 07:14 AM (84pE9)

19 Politics is one thing, but you keep your filthy fucking hands off of my football.

Posted by: E.M. August at September 30, 2011 07:14 AM (zeBNm)

20 It's pretty common in soccer if one team is running away with the game to enforce a 5-pass rule.  The winning team needs to pass the ball five times before they can make a shot on goal. This is, of course, enforced ONLY by the winning coach.

It makes sense, because 1) you're winning, and 2) you treat the game as a practice, since otherwise kicking their ass even more is pretty much just waste of your time.






Posted by: Car in at September 30, 2011 07:14 AM (f9nYr)

21

the kid has a great attitude about it.....and those against him are losers..........

Posted by: phoenixgirl other work computer at September 30, 2011 07:14 AM (IpiZb)

22 The rule is only for elementary school football. Next year he'll be in Jr. High, and all bets are off.

Posted by: Smokey Behr at September 30, 2011 07:15 AM (QyeW7)

23
And you can get a great ride like Antonio Garay from SD:

http://tinyurl.com/6agrjts

Posted by: The Robot Devil at September 30, 2011 07:15 AM (136wp)

24 This prepares kids for what the statists hope will be the real world, where the achievers are hobbled and the underachievers get to plunder them.

Posted by: Mindy at September 30, 2011 07:15 AM (0RSSz)

25 If Hill has matured a year earlier than his cohort, he can walk all over them, and that removes any incentive to play if you're still a pre-pubescent shrimp, so you want to put a cap on him for the time being to prevent running up the score.  Is it a bit unfair to him? Yeah, but he's not the only one playing and learning, and give it another two years, he'll be turned loose.

That's life.  Someone will always be bigger, or faster, or stronger, or smarter.  The answer is not to hold the gifted back.

Posted by: Slublog at September 30, 2011 07:15 AM (0nqdj)

26 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

So is whoever came up with this lame rule.

My kid (4 yr old) plays city sports.  I understood why they didn't keep score with T-Ball when he was three (seriously- the game would never end- they would never be able to get anyone out).  But when they refused to keep score in soccer, I was amused/appalled.  Really- since part of the point is preventing the other team from scoring, scoring is integral to the game.

So we all kept score anyway- who cares what the league said.

This is the same mentality that says "reset the scoreboard" or "don't keep score" or gives an f-ing "7th Place" ribbon.

I hate this mentality- as though excellence is "unfair" and "mean."  And we're surprised that we're beginning to lose the competitive advantages we held for so long.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) is tired beyond tired of the trolls at September 30, 2011 07:16 AM (8y9MW)

27 Please--this whole country is under the Madre Hill Rule.

Posted by: USS Diversity at September 30, 2011 07:16 AM (aD5Kx)

28 Sometimes it's good to have the bootheel of authority crush your hopes and dreams at an early age so you can get used to it.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at September 30, 2011 07:16 AM (+lsX1)

29 I think, at some point, you've scored enough touchdowns.

Posted by: King Barry XIV at September 30, 2011 07:16 AM (DrWcr)

30 Now Bo Jackson blasting Brian Bosworth............

(smiles to himself)

Posted by: CUS at September 30, 2011 07:17 AM (84pE9)

31 The sensibilities of others abilities MUST be invoked in these situations. Its not fair that those with less drive or ability be punished.

Posted by: Jimmah at September 30, 2011 07:17 AM (g9KCn)

32 14 Slublog, I love that movie!

Posted by: Mindy at September 30, 2011 07:18 AM (0RSSz)

33 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron The plot is set in the year 2081. Due to the 211th, 212th and 213th Amendments to the Constitution of America, all Americans are mandated equal. “They were not only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way." In America no one is more intelligent than anyone else, no one is better looking or more athletic than anyone else. In order to stop any sort of competition in society these measures are enforced by the United States Handicapper General. The current Handicapper General, Diana Moon Glampers, and her team of agents have developed several forms of "handicaps." Beautiful people are forced to wear masks, athletic people have to carry weights, and intelligent people have to wear radios in their ears that interrupt thoughts with loud noises.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at September 30, 2011 07:18 AM (JNqU9)

34 This is just idiotic: kids want to PLAY, & with other kids like them - not some kid who's got such a jump on them he's simply too good for all of them. The parents should be arranging for him to play in a league that's more competitive for him - it's happened many thousands of times in the past. Go check the story of Wayne Gretsky as a kid, as just one of many, many examples. Once kids get to a certain age, high school certainly, then it's different - but little kids of 11, both he & they are going to suffer from continuing this idiocy. As to him 'checking out colleges': the nation is full of extraordinarily gifted (in the limited football sense) 11 year olds who didn't grow or flamed out or got hurt or lost interest in the game before they were 18. Big deal: football is hardly the be-all and end-all of life - and those who fail to recognize that fact end up leading silly lives & selling cars or running as nothing congressmen in nothing districts contributing nothing to a Congress that does nothing.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at September 30, 2011 07:18 AM (vahvH)

35 It's not like they have to play this kid every game. He's nice enough to share his ass kicking with all the teams.

Posted by: polynikes - Texan for Romney at September 30, 2011 07:18 AM (Cs6bg)

36 "I'm gonna run hard and bring our team to victory," said Jimerson. Then he added, "but God always comes first, before anything, and grades second."

Well, God and political correctness anyway.

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 30, 2011 07:18 AM (Hx5uv)

37 The pussification of this country continues ...

Posted by: No Whining at September 30, 2011 07:19 AM (Wqfrr)

38 There are some economic/environmental benefits to this rule.  I mean, now the kid can just appear at his games by phone.  You now, save the Earth while saving a few bucks on gas.

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 30, 2011 07:20 AM (Hx5uv)

39 football is hardly the be-all and end-all of life...

The devil you say!

Posted by: Tami at September 30, 2011 07:20 AM (X6akg)

40 Every kid should be handed a napkin with their free lunch that says, 'Life isn't fair.  Get used to it.'

It will serve them well in the long run.

Posted by: MJ at September 30, 2011 07:20 AM (BKOsZ)

41 And, I'd like to personally welcome young Mr. Jimerson into the Republican party.

Posted by: Roy at September 30, 2011 07:21 AM (bm4vI)

42 I like the Jimerson Loophole. Now how about a Jimerson Voluntary Tax whereby every time his team gets the ball, they run backwards and down the ball on their own 1 yard line so this kid can pad his stats with 98 yards per drive.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 30, 2011 07:21 AM (F5OMl)

43 Thanks for pointing out the quote, W-Rex. With that, I withdraw everything I wrote above & just say: well, he's already a jerk & well on his way to a life or ruination & personal disappointment, so - yeah: have at it - go ruin the lives of other kids, too. And if you're lucky, you might end up being used as a moronic metaphor.

Posted by: Rex the Wonder God at September 30, 2011 07:21 AM (vahvH)

44 Just make the kid wear heavy lead weights on his shoes, that'll be fair.

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at September 30, 2011 07:22 AM (FEzSe)

45 48% of the population doesn't even play the game. They just derive satisfaction from others' play.

Posted by: Roy at September 30, 2011 07:23 AM (bm4vI)

46 All he needs is a coach with a little sense of sportsmanship.  When the kid's in the game, run like hell.  But if your team's up by 40 in the second half, put the back-up in.

Posted by: angler at September 30, 2011 07:23 AM (SwjAj)

47 31 I think, at some point, you've scored enough touchdowns.

Posted by: King Barry XIV at September 30, 2011 12:16 PM (DrWcr)


This made me want to simultaneously laugh and slam my head against my desk.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 30, 2011 07:23 AM (UOM48)

48 Think of it this way.  In the Little Leagues, some coaches figured out that you can just not swing, and get your players on base, because most kids at that age can't consistently throw strikes.

I don't agree.  What this means to the coaches who tell their players to not swing is that when the pitchers catch up and start throwing strikes, (s)he has not prepared his players to hit a pitched ball.  (S)He will now lose every game until they catch up.

I caught hell when the kids I coached were 6-7-8 or so.  I would coach them to always shoot low on goal--just like a pass.  Other coaches would teach their kids to shoot high.  Since most goalkeepers that age were too short to save the shot--many goals.

Until the 'keepers got tall.  Now my players have been shooting low for three years and getting good and scoring goals, and the other player's high shots were easily saved by the now tall keeper.  Now that coach has to teach his kids shooting all over again.

Posted by: CUS at September 30, 2011 07:23 AM (84pE9)

49 Come on, this is the pee-wee league not the majors. Perhaps they could have made it more palatable by putting in someone from the bench once they got far ahead but it is the same thing.

Hell even when I played adult softball we had something called the 12 run slaughter rule.

When he makes it to HS he will get to play for blood.

Posted by: Vic at September 30, 2011 07:23 AM (M9Ie6)

50 I think he'd look lovely in burnt orange.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 30, 2011 07:25 AM (h1p5V)

51 All he needs is a coach with a little sense of sportsmanship.  When the kid's in the game, run like hell.  But if your team's up by 40 in the second half, put the back-up in.

Can't disagree with that.  Having a coach demonstrate what sportsmanship is would make a much bigger impact than a mandate.

Posted by: Slublog at September 30, 2011 07:26 AM (0nqdj)

52 Andy, was that little fat kid you?

Posted by: MJ at September 30, 2011 07:26 AM (BKOsZ)

53
Did you know that there's a constant, persistent push to lower the voting age in this country to 17?

Yeah, I didn't know this but I heard about it today. In "progressive" communities and in high schools people are pushing to allow 17yo to vote in municipal elections and eventually in state and national elections.

Cambridge, MA have been trying to get it passed in MA since 2002. And now Lowell, MA just passed their own law. But MA's secretary of state says nope.

I'm assuming similar initiatives are taking place across the country. Scary shit.

Posted by: Soothsayer at September 30, 2011 07:26 AM (sqkOB)

54 It's pretty common in soccer if one team is running away with the game to enforce a 5-pass rule.  The winning team needs to pass the ball five times before they can make a shot on goal.

I was under the impression SOP was to pass 50 times before taking a shot at a goal regardless of the score. Maybe that was just he few matches I watched.

Posted by: RioBravo at September 30, 2011 07:27 AM (eEfYn)

55 Is there a problem here that couldn't have just been resolved by a coach with enough sense to take the kid out once they had a decent lead? He would be the one coach in the league who wouldn't have to keep hearing parents asking "why isn't my kid getting more playing time?" since everyone would get in.

Posted by: somebody else, not me at September 30, 2011 07:27 AM (7EV/g)

56 47 Just make the kid wear heavy lead weights on his shoes, that'll be fair.
Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at September 30, 2011 12:22 PM (FEzSe)

Synopsis of "Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut

The plot is set in the year 2081. Due to the 211th, 212th and 213th Amendments to the Constitution of America, all Americans are mandated equal. “They were not only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way." In America no one is more intelligent than anyone else, no one is better looking or more athletic than anyone else. In order to stop any sort of competition in society these measures are enforced by the United States Handicapper General. The current Handicapper General, Diana Moon Glampers, and her team of agents have developed several forms of "handicaps." Beautiful people are forced to wear masks, athletic people have to carry weights, and intelligent people have to wear radios in their ears that interrupt thoughts with loud noises.

In April 2081 the agents of the Handicapper General take fourteen-year-old Harrison Bergeron away from his parents, George and Hazel. The couple is not aware of the full extent of that tragedy because Hazel is of average intelligence and George has to wear the mental handicap radio. Later that day the two are watching ballerinas on live television where the talented dancers have weights on their arms and feet.


The show is interrupted by a bulletin announcing that Harrison Bergeron has escaped from prison. A picture of Harrison wearing several handicaps is shown. Suddenly the photo is replaced by images of Harrison storming the studio. Ripping off all his handicaps he declares that he is the emperor and a greater ruler than anyone else. He chooses one of the ballerinas as his empress, liberates her from her handicaps, and starts to dance with her. They dance until they kiss the ceiling.


A few seconds later Diana Moon Glampers enters the studio and kills Harrison and his empress with a shotgun, and then the screen goes dark. George Bergeron misses these events, having left to get a beer. He returns and finds Hazel crying on the couch. She says that something sad must have happened on TV, but that she cannot remember what it was. George tells her to forget about sad things.


And g'damnit if 2081 hasn't arrived 70 years earlier than expected.

Posted by: No Whining at September 30, 2011 07:28 AM (Wqfrr)

57 I'd just have him down the ball at the 1 yard line and punch it in. Let his teammates get their fair share of TDs.

Posted by: JWF at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (1l37M)

58 silent scream

Posted by: Locus Ceruleus at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (GMzH2)

59 A couple of other funny things about this -

First, the coach would likely just rest the kid once they had a comfortable lead anyway. That's called sportsmanship, and he's being denied the opportunity to teach that to the kids as well.

Also, as someone mentioned, this is a little like kids' leagues where they don't keep score. Guess what, stupid adults ... all the kids are keeping score in their heads. At the end, they know who won or lost.

Same thing here ... the adults are driving for some fakey self esteem bullshit by "keeping the game close" but in reality all the kids leave the game thinking they would have gotten their asses kicked if this rule weren't in place.

Posted by: Andy at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (5Rurq)

60 Let him keep playin' but award the points to the the the the the a the other team.

Posted by: BHO at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (eEfYn)

61 <i>That's life.  Someone will always be bigger, or faster, or stronger, or smarter.  The answer is not to hold the gifted back.</i>

At that age, we're taking massive differences between the kids in size and coordination.  You want the kids to be able to play the game and not get a bad taste in their mouth so that they give up on the game and never try once they get past puberty.  Think back to when you were eleven.  How much interest would you have had in the game if every time this kid got the ball, he scored and nothing you did mattered.  Would you be eager to suit up?  Oh, boy, let's go get our ass kicked yet again by some prodigy playing at college level!  Jimerson is not the league's only customer.

Also, three touchdowns a game in a grade-school league is not being held back.  Really, beyond that, they're just running up the score, and that's always been considered bad form.  Unless we're going to full free-form libertarianism, remember competition needs to be guided by a bit of etiquette.

Posted by: Schaeffer at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (ZN0re)

62 This hits home. My oldest son likes football and joined an intramural league - who wouldn't let him *touch* the ball because it was "unfair" that he was 5'11" and 185 at 13. This year he is 6' 4", 225 lbs. and can leg press 400 lbs. and they won't let him play at all because it is 'unfair' When I asked if he could play under the name 'Bergeron' no one got it

Posted by: Aquinas Dad at September 30, 2011 07:29 AM (fpVyT)

63
As Bobby Bowden famously told Lou Holtz way back in the day (before Herschel was Herschel)

It is not my job to stop scoring it is your job to stop me from scoring.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at September 30, 2011 07:30 AM (1hM1d)

64 i hope there aren't super smart kids in these wimps classes.......

Posted by: phoenixgirl other work computer at September 30, 2011 07:30 AM (IpiZb)

65 Uhh, how much is a touchdown?

Posted by: Coach JEPOS at September 30, 2011 07:31 AM (aD5Kx)

66 I think that this Madre Hill rule should be applied to elections as well.  If one political party sweeps the House, the Senate, and the White House in 2012, I think that we should just re-assign enough votes to the losing party so that they can at least retain the Senate.  Anything else would make them feel bad.  At some point, you've won enough votes.

Posted by: Obama's Disney-Tune Whistling Robots at September 30, 2011 07:31 AM (Hx5uv)

67 When I grew up in GA there was such as thing as the "mercy rule", where the game could be called (by mutual agreement of the coaches), rather than let the game get further out of hand.  The mercy rule (as it is) makes way more sense than "banning" a player from scoring touchdowns (which btw, makes NO sense, other than to punish someone for outshining his peers).

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at September 30, 2011 07:31 AM (9eDbm)

68 Really, beyond that, they're just running up the score, and that's always been considered bad form.  Unless we're going to full free-form libertarianism, remember competition needs to be guided by a bit of etiquette.

I agree, but that should be something done by the coaches, not by a mandate.

I like what Andy said @62:

First, the coach would likely just rest the kid once they had a comfortable lead anyway. That's called sportsmanship, and he's being denied the opportunity to teach that to the kids as well.

Posted by: Slublog at September 30, 2011 07:32 AM (0nqdj)

69
Related: Last year in MA a high school allowed two boys to play on the girls lacrosse team.

The boys, who did it as a joke and were a couple of assholes, were decent athletes so the team was easily beating other schools who didn't have boys on their teams.

Unfair and silly? Yes.

But in both of these cases we see how political correctness has no place in our society other than to muck everything up.

Posted by: Soothsayer at September 30, 2011 07:32 AM (sqkOB)

70 This would have stopped the great Al Bundy!!

Posted by: Sailingbum at September 30, 2011 07:32 AM (v8p6a)

71 Demias, if they ask you  to not score so high on your sat's, because it wouldn't be fair , ignore them please

Posted by: willow at September 30, 2011 07:33 AM (h+qn8)

72 We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise.

Posted by: C.S. Lewis at September 30, 2011 07:33 AM (JVEmw)

73
How much interest would you have had in the game if every time this kid got the ball, he scored and nothing you did mattered. Would you be eager to suit up?

Yes. Because at some point, thru prepration, practice, technique, the maturation process or sheer cussedness, I'd make it a point to stop him.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at September 30, 2011 07:33 AM (1hM1d)

74 @ 36, 47, and 59
Ayn Rand's Anthem tells a similar story but with a happier ending.

Posted by: Ima Wurdibitsch at September 30, 2011 07:33 AM (fk/lm)

75 "We have become a nation of cowards."

Posted by: Eric Holder at September 30, 2011 07:34 AM (Kkt/i)

76

The pussification of this country continues ...

You think so, huh?

When I was very young, I watched my older brother in a baseball game that his team won 26-0 because the pitcher wasn't that good. He kept walking in runs. But by the time I got to play organized baseball, the league instituted one of these "fairness" rules. It was simple: No walking in runs.

Except it wasn't that simple because I sucked at bat. I'd take swings at pitches, but I could really be counted on to do one of two things -- walk or strike out. The good players came before me in the line-up, and often times I get to the plate with the bases loaded. At these times, the best I could realistically hope for was getting hit by a pitch and hope it didn't hurt too much. Those counted; hit by pitch could walk in a run whereas base-on-balls couldn't. I tallied a few RBI on HBPs. Not bad for a pathetically unathletic 7-year-old.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 30, 2011 07:34 AM (F5OMl)

77 I agree, but that should be something done by the coaches, not by a mandate.

Well, this raises the question: was the coach doing something?  Or was he being such an asshole, that the league was forced to do something?

Posted by: Schaeffer at September 30, 2011 07:34 AM (ZN0re)

78

>>>>>53I think he'd look lovely in burnt orange. - Posted by: Hobbitopoly at September 30, 2011 12:25 PM (h1p5V)<<<<

The Hullabaloo! (Caneck! Caneck!) you say -    

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at September 30, 2011 07:35 AM (0xqzf)

79 I hate to say it but Obama is right.  We have gone soft here in America.

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 30, 2011 07:35 AM (Hx5uv)

80 celebrate MEDIOCRITY!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: phoenixgirl other work computer at September 30, 2011 07:35 AM (IpiZb)

81 Man, this is starting to look familiar...

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at September 30, 2011 07:35 AM (cv5Iw)

82 God first, then grades, then Demias Jemerson.  What a great kid.

Posted by: Dewey at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (YTJQp)

Posted by: Ima Wurdibitsch at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (fk/lm)

84 Were's the Handicapper General when you need him? Exceptional athletes deserve to be kept in the game and in fact, should realize it's unjust to be allowed to slack off on the bench due to their above-average talents while less talented people have to slug along through the duration of the game.

That's why we need new regulations requiring ankle shackles, chains, waist weightbelts and other handicapping apparatuses that level the playing field.

Strange to realize what Vonnegut wrote as science fiction is quickly becoming our reality. Progressivism is nothing more than the tyranny of the weak.

Posted by: Multitude at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (ijdDW)

85 Oh, and if the league wants a mercy rule or whatever, fine. But it should apply to all teams all the time.

Targeting a rule like this at a single kid is ludicrous.

Posted by: Andy at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (5Rurq)

86 I'm surprised how many people here actually support the Madre Hill rule.  What does that say to kids who excel in their sport of choice, that they shouldn't keep trying to be the best than can be, because someone else's self esteem might be in jepoardy?  Should coaches bench players because they're "too good" to keep in the game?  Sounds absurd to me.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (9eDbm)

87 52 Come on, this is the pee-wee league not the majors. Perhaps they could have made it more palatable by putting in someone from the bench once they got far ahead but it is the same thing.

Hell even when I played adult softball we had something called the 12 run slaughter rule.

When he makes it to HS he will get to play for blood.

Posted by: Vic at September 30, 2011 12:23 PM (M9Ie6)

The kids can handle it, or they will learn to. Much better for them in the long run.

Posted by: KG at September 30, 2011 07:36 AM (LD21B)

88 72 -
Crimethink. Your punishment is to write "males and females are equal in every way" 100 times on the board.

Posted by: Peace & Diversity Enforcement Squadperson at September 30, 2011 07:37 AM (JVEmw)

89 Yes. Because at some point, thru prepration, practice, technique, the maturation process or sheer cussedness, I'd make it a point to stop him.

Yeah, okay, and I'm sure you'd invent a car that ran on static electricity in you down periods, too.

Posted by: Schaeffer at September 30, 2011 07:38 AM (ZN0re)

90 We have become a nation of pussies.

Tell me more.

Posted by: cherry pi, terrorist hostage taking SOB at September 30, 2011 07:38 AM (OhYCU)

91 In the Little Leagues, some coaches figured out that you can just not swing, and get your players on base, because most kids at that age can't consistently throw strikes.

This was my personal strategy when I was in LL, because I was a great runner but a shitty hitter. Had an OBP like Barry Bonds.

Here's what I learned: Pitchers who can't throw strikes can't bean dudes, either. Every game—by which I mean every game—the opposing coach called a hit on me on what he thought would be my last at-bat. It worked once.

Coincidentally, I also sucker-punched one first base coach. It was a good day.

Then I didn't play baseball anymore.

Posted by: oblig. at September 30, 2011 07:38 AM (xvZW9)

92 We've killed Osama bin Laden and Anwar al-Awaki now.  Killing any more terrorists now would just be running up the score.  We shouldn't kill any more terrorists until they launch another terror attack.

Posted by: Obama's Disney-Tune Whistling Robots at September 30, 2011 07:39 AM (Hx5uv)

93 I am an assistant coach for our HS BasketBall team, we have had years when we were so good we beat people 100-30, and years when we have been beat 100-30. We here know that if you don't like getting beat by that, be better and don't get beat by that. It's the stronger team's job to score, the weaker to stop them. As far as Mr. Hill, I would suggest he take a knee at the one yard line. That way he will still have as many yards as he would otherwise. Due to this controversy EVERYONE that needs to knows how good he is and he can name the school he wants to go to.

Posted by: billhedrick at September 30, 2011 07:40 AM (xQApV)

94 >> Andy, was that little fat kid you?

Heh, no. The fat came later.

Posted by: Andy at September 30, 2011 07:40 AM (5Rurq)

95 Well, this raises the question: was the coach doing something?  Or was he being such an asshole, that the league was forced to do something?

If a coach was getting out of hand, then the league should have dealt with the coach instead of instituting a rule that at its heart is "Be good, but not too good." 

Posted by: Slublog at September 30, 2011 07:40 AM (0nqdj)

96

All straight A students should share their good grades and hard work with the F-grade Flunkies so that everyone gets a C.

It's only faaaair.

 

Posted by: Barack Husane Obozo & the libtard prog left at September 30, 2011 07:41 AM (0fzsA)

97

his team should have a sign that says....you may have only lost by 3 touchdowns....but that's because your parents don't think you could handle losing by more...........

Posted by: phoenixgirl other work computer at September 30, 2011 07:41 AM (IpiZb)

98

One of my best buddies growing up would spot me 20 points in ping-pong and beat me every time. It never stopped me from wanting to play him. I learned a lot from playing him, stole a few of his shots and eventually developed a serve that had so much spin on it, he couldn't return it. I still got beat, but his winning margin decreased over time. I. Did. Not. Give. Up.

Friendly competition is good for the soul. Losing builds character probably better than winning.

Not keeping score, awarding every team member a trophy and this dumbassed, leftarded rule are what's making us "soft," as a certain stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure said recently. It's also a testament to the feminization of our formerly masculine society.

Fuck "fairness."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Tea Party SOB at September 30, 2011 07:43 AM (d0Tfm)

99 The US Army motto is "This we will defend."  It would be much fairer if we could change that to "Compassion and proportionate response."

Posted by: Obama's Disney-Tune Whistling Robots at September 30, 2011 07:44 AM (Hx5uv)

100 Football was ruined long ago when running up the score became an issue.  Many times, rankings are based upon how well you did against your opponents so I say play the entire time.  If the other team doesn't like it, then do your best to stop it.

Posted by: dogfish at September 30, 2011 07:44 AM (NuPNl)

101 >> Andy, was that little fat kid you?

Heh, no. The fat came later.

I prefer the term "Christie-esque."

Posted by: Obama's Disney-Tune Whistling Robots at September 30, 2011 07:45 AM (Hx5uv)

102 56 - I remember one particularly annoying episode of Boston Legal concerning the voting age. IIRC the argument was that so and so young lady was aware of whatever political issues and was able to make adult decisions.

Why stop at 17? "Little Jason is very bright and mature for his age." Ha.

Posted by: fb at September 30, 2011 07:45 AM (JVEmw)

103
wowzers worries about a double-dip recession are beginning to be realized


Posted by: Soothsayer at September 30, 2011 07:46 AM (sqkOB)

104 Will no one rid me of this troublesome sock?

Posted by: WalrusRex at September 30, 2011 07:46 AM (Hx5uv)

105

Andy my thought exactly was "what is preventing the kid from running down inside the 1-yard line on every play, then taking a knee?"

If the team has a fat kid for a fullback its 6 points every time but of course violates the Gaia Spirit of this insanely stupid politically correct rule that punishes a dude for his youthful excellence and the Fat kid Fullback addendum" may need to be imposed so that once a team reaches the 1, they must send in the nerd who doesnt even like football...what I call "The Urkel Rule."

Only in this way can we ensure that youth athletics dont favor one childs ability over another and that we dont tell our kids that they are in any way different from each other due to ability or hard work. Because that would stigmatize them and thats grounds for a lawsuit. 

The silver lining is that they interviewed the kid on TV about the rule for him and he has more common sense and plain spoken verbal wisdom that most people three times his age. A great kid who one suspects we'll all be watching on Saturdays (and maybe Sundays?) in the not-too-distant future.

Posted by: Mike D. at September 30, 2011 07:46 AM (YUrBn)

106

....there's a thing called scouting to find the weekness....what is precluding the coaches from finding it?  nothing...they are just lazy

Posted by: phoenixgirl other work computer at September 30, 2011 07:47 AM (IpiZb)

107 I get chill bumps still when I see Herschel run over Bill Bates and hear Larry Munson make the call.

Posted by: Snafu at September 30, 2011 07:48 AM (8d28r)

108 Come north to Penn State, young Mr. Jimerson. JoePa may still be there.

May be?  Zombie JoePa will still be chasing national titles and graduating darn near all of his athletes. 

Coach for Life, or longer if he chooses.

Posted by: Prufrock at September 30, 2011 07:48 AM (jvO1k)

109 All he needs is a coach with a little sense of sportsmanship.  When the kid's in the game, run like hell.  But if your team's up by 40 in the second half, put the back-up in.

Posted by: angler at September 30, 2011 12:23 PM (SwjAj)

Exactly.  I agree with the purpose of this dumb rule, I just don't think it should be a rule.  It should be up to the coach to teach sportsmanship.  It's not sportsmanship if the league is saying you have to behave this way.  Even the NFL teams avoid running up the score.  Except the Ravens, fuck the Ravens.

 

Posted by: yinzer at September 30, 2011 07:53 AM (/Mla1)

110 My son would destroy this kid. We hear about these "phenoms" all the time. He scores because he's not playing against anyone. At 11, if he has skills, he should be playing Junior All-American or even Pop Warner. I have problem with this rule. If you want to succeed based on your skill, then compete where you actually need it; not an intermediate school club

Posted by: Penn State Marine at September 30, 2011 08:00 AM (X6+hH)

111 That is, I have no problem with this rule

Posted by: Penn State Marine at September 30, 2011 08:01 AM (X6+hH)

112  Why does this posting software peg out a dual core CPU?

Posted by: Snafu at September 30, 2011 08:04 AM (8d28r)

113 Oh, and if the league wants a mercy rule or whatever, fine. But it should apply to all teams all the time.

Targeting a rule like this at a single kid is ludicrous.

Now I can live with that.

Posted by: Vic at September 30, 2011 08:05 AM (M9Ie6)

114 Barry won one presidential election. That's enough, in fact it's one too many

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 30, 2011 08:10 AM (1Jaio)

115 this is what we are now - excellence punished, sloth and mediocrity rewarded.

Posted by: shoey at September 30, 2011 08:10 AM (jdOk/)

116 The guy Hershel ran over in the vid is none other than long time Cowboy Bill Bates!

Posted by: Thorny at September 30, 2011 08:21 AM (U5FwO)

117

My 7 yo nephew plays soccer (meh).  So last weekend he lost his game 8-0.  Seems the other team has a little kid on their team whose parents are from Hondorus (I think it's Hondorous but they are here legally I might add - his dad is sorta known).

My nephew said, "he scored all the time." 

And my brother said, "well, guess you will just have to learn from him."

And my mom said, "well it's not fun to lose but it happens.  You played hard but you need to practice and play harder next time."

I said, "well, sometimes it can be fun to watch someone be so good at something.  Did you learn anything?"

My nephew said, "yeah, I learned I don't like to lose.  But it was cool to see what he could do that no one had taught me yet."

 

All in all a good Saturday. 

 Wish Dimeras Jimerson's hard work was as appreciated as this young soccer star's talent and hard work. 

Go Dimeras!

Posted by: God Bless Mrs. Walker at September 30, 2011 08:22 AM (VxqUc)

118 I am the IT guy for this school district.  This hullabaloo started when he scored 6 touchdowns in the first game of the season.  Some parent got all torqued up about it and called Fox16 (they are the go-to station for anyone wanting to whine.)  The station investigated and that forced the school's hand into invoking that rule.  Knowing the principal, she would likely have done that anyway. 

Posted by: Iron Balls McGinty at September 30, 2011 08:28 AM (Gkhxf)

119 Quick note to the dipshits on the left: Bergeron, Anthem, and 1984 were not feckin' how-to manuals! Seriously, I have to apologize daily to my two young daughters for the shit pile we're leaving them to clean up.

Posted by: smaulz at September 30, 2011 08:30 AM (XB6o8)

120 It's too bad this rule won't be in affect when the Saints take on my poor Jags on Sunday.

Posted by: Mike at September 30, 2011 08:31 AM (NH9Y5)

121 This is why I left coaching and playing football and started playing and coaching rugby. In rugby there are no time outs and you are expected to score 100 points against your opponent if you are able. To stop scoring in rugby on purpose is a greater insult to your opponent then utterly destroying them on the field. The only problem I ever had coaching rugby was parent complaining that their 18 yo self esteem could get damaged if he didn't get to play after not showing to practice for a week. Just rolled my eyes and walked away.

Posted by: NMS at September 30, 2011 08:37 AM (4/C0H)

122 "That is not an inspiration video. Now Bo Jackson blasting Brian Bosworth............" Earl Campbell knocking down Isaiah "Butch" Robertson.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at September 30, 2011 08:38 AM (zSSfU)

123 "Think of it this way. In the Little Leagues, some coaches figured out that you can just not swing, and get your players on base, because most kids at that age can't consistently throw strikes. So, what you have is pitcher after pitcher reduced to tears as kids walk home. Sure, you win a lot of games, but what's the point." Which is why they have larger strike zones in Little League.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at September 30, 2011 08:41 AM (zSSfU)

124

Bergeron, Anthem, and 1984 were not feckin' how-to manuals! Seriously, I have to apologize daily to my two young daughters for the shit pile we're leaving them to clean up.

And how are little Equality-3807 and Environmentalism-4456 these days?

Posted by: FireHorse at September 30, 2011 08:41 AM (F5OMl)

125

this is what we are now - excellence punished, sloth and mediocrity rewarded.

Finally, society is recognizing my special skills!

Posted by: FireHorse at September 30, 2011 08:44 AM (F5OMl)

126 Get me this young man's home address.  I'd like to send him my copy of "Harrison Bergeron," and for when he's all grown up, a job application.  If this nation survives long enough to finish school, I'll have a place for him.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at September 30, 2011 08:44 AM (Jdtsu)

127 Someone suggested this league doesn't keep score.  That's not correct.  They play for wins and a championship.  In fact, this kid played on the same team last year and they won the championship.  He was good but didn't dominate like he has this year.  I think this is more about the egos of the parents and coaches of the other teams than it is about fairness.

Posted by: Iron Balls McGinty at September 30, 2011 08:47 AM (Gkhxf)

128

Oh great, we just told another black kid not to try to hard, or be to good at something because he would be punished for it.

Sort of like when Black kids get bullied for trying to learn in class. Only this time it is institutional

Posted by: maartha at September 30, 2011 08:51 AM (BXwnD)

129 The "Gretzky" rule - only the first 5 goals scored by any single player are recorded - has been in effect in minor hockey for many years. I dare say that hasn't "pussified" the sport of hockey.

I think some of you don't understand what happens when one team of young kids is absolutely destroying another. It's no fun for either team, nor either set of parents (except the inevitable sadists, of course).

You might want to give that some thought.

Posted by: kcs at September 30, 2011 09:00 AM (/8qpd)

130

I watched the footage of this kid; he's fast. I hope he stays at it and works hard, because he could be an absolute beast when he gets to high school, stupid pee-wee rules be damned.

On a side note, I played against Garrison Hearst in high school; thank God they yanked him early, or he might have run the entire team to death.

Posted by: UGAdawg at September 30, 2011 09:20 AM (L9Mr/)

131 KCS: I have. We have the same rule in lacrosse where if you score too many goals, you have to increase the number of passes before you make before you shoot. It kills the game. Those who are good now have to sit around and wait until their substandard teammates learn to cradle and pass a ball. So my kid, who runs circles around other kids because his drills and skills are superior, now has to stand around for 40 minutes while other kids learn the effin' sport (and their parents can project their hopes and dreams on Sammy the Spazz.). Real fun. Builds character.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 30, 2011 09:21 AM (iAUf+)

132 In fact, after the official game, we take the competitive players from both teams and stick around for an unofficial pickup game, which is the real game. The non-competitive kids go to Dairy Queen with their moms.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 30, 2011 09:25 AM (iAUf+)

133 What would Hank Hill say?  I know he'd fix this travesty in under 22 minutes.

Posted by: Heartless Truman North at September 30, 2011 09:28 AM (I2LwF)

134 10

That is not an inspiration video.

Now Bo Jackson Peter North blasting Brian Bosworth Kobe Tai............

Posted by: Mallamutt, RINO President for Life at September 30, 2011 12:10 PM (OWjjx)

 

FIFY

Posted by: Heartless Truman North at September 30, 2011 09:30 AM (I2LwF)

135 When I wrestled in high school I worked really hard to get down to 165 lbs (middleweight) I was second string at that weight, and we had the worst wrestling team in the state - we never one a meet. One meet against one of the best teams in the state the coach threw me in against the other teams 188 lb (light heavyweight) wrestler who was not only the 3 time undefeated state champion -  he was so good that nobody had even scored a point on him his whole senior year.

By the start of the third period he was up on me 21-0 - considering that each point is wrestling is the equivalent of a touchdown in football you can see the match was not competitive. He was going for the all time record and wanted to beat me 31-0 roughly the equivalent of Georgia Tech's 212-0 beating of Cumberland College in football.

Today they would call that match off in the first period under the 'technical superiority' mercy rule. Back then they didn't have politically correct crap like that. You wrestled until somebody got pinned or time expired - no matter how many points were scored.

If they had had a mercy rule back then I would never have seen the look of abject horror on the face of the other team's head cheerleader or heard the complete silence of 800 screaming home team fans after I came back from 21-0 down and pinned their best wrestler to win the match.

When you institute mercy rules - what you are  taking away from people is: possibility.

Posted by: An Observation at September 30, 2011 09:34 AM (ylhEn)

136 I'm sorry, typo:

I meant "never won a meet"

Posted by: An Observation at September 30, 2011 09:37 AM (ylhEn)

Posted by: The For the Chilllin's Foundation at September 30, 2011 09:48 AM (0It32)

138 'Then he added, "but God always comes first, before anything, and grades second." ' No wonder the publik skools are out to get him.

Posted by: PsychoDad at September 30, 2011 10:04 AM (roAvC)

139 Did you know that there's a constant, persistent push to lower the voting age in this country to 17? I'm OK with taking it all the way down to 1day old, wouldnt mind multiplying my vote.

Posted by: Jean at September 30, 2011 10:18 AM (WkuV6)

140

Did you know that there's a constant, persistent push to lower the voting age in this country to 17?

Posted by: Soothsayer at September 30, 2011 12:26 PM (sqkOB)

 

Wow.  Worst idea ever.  Of course, that fits the Libtard agenda just fine - enfranchise a bunch of people who think with their emotions/gonads.  They did it once before early last century with disastrous results.

If anything, we need to further restrict franchise.  High schoolers and college students have no aquaintance with reality, and no right place making any political decision at all. We should also have litteracy tests, and tax payer status at prerequisites.

 

Posted by: Reactionary at September 30, 2011 10:46 AM (xUM1Q)

141 The feds will probably raid this kids team locker room and steal all of the players cleats because they weren't "finished" in Indonesia. That will level the playing field. Evidently success has consequences.

Posted by: Gibson at September 30, 2011 10:50 AM (GdVNc)

142 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at September 30, 2011 11:46 AM (fyOgS)

143 I'll solve this for you. Let the kid score as many touchdowns as he wants, but just grant the points for every other touchdown to the opposing team.

Isn't this a better model for what we ought to expect from the eventual Obama redistributionist legacy? C'mon, stop pussyfooting around. You earn your stuff, then we're just going to take it from you. No more candyass attempts to paper it over for public consumption. Get used to it, you sluggards. Um, I mean Comrade Sluggards.

Posted by: dissent555 at September 30, 2011 01:43 PM (yR6A1)

144

"That is not an inspiration video.

Now Bo Jackson blasting Brian Bosworth............"

This might be the most over-hyped non-spectacular run in NFL history.  Bo had a lot of great runs, but this one only had legs because it was Bosworth. 

Posted by: ZappaDawg at September 30, 2011 01:48 PM (oI30O)

145 105 56 - I remember one particularly annoying episode of Boston Legal concerning the voting age. IIRC the argument was that so and so young lady was aware of whatever political issues and was able to make adult decisions.

Why stop at 17? "Little Jason is very bright and mature for his age." Ha.
Posted by: fb at September 30, 2011 12:45 PM

If they had done that when I was 16, I could have voted for Ronnie Ray-Gun at least once, for real. Instead, I had to wait a couple of years to vote for Bush 41. I haven't missed a single election since, not matter how unimportant the media made it seem.

Posted by: Smokey Behr at September 30, 2011 02:31 PM (QyeW7)

146 Voting age needs to be moved to 21, with exception of those serving.

Posted by: Ryan M. at September 30, 2011 05:05 PM (iyD8F)

147 Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

Posted by: Helter Skelter AudioBook at September 30, 2011 05:40 PM (nUd+7)

148 152 and 153; Now that's some awesome poetry there.

Posted by: sjff at October 01, 2011 01:32 AM (aLlSR)

149 @ either orr #2 Here, here. Mr. Jimerson would look terrific in blue and white as a PSU Nittany Lion. :0)

Posted by: Bucky Katt at October 01, 2011 04:38 AM (7WxCF)

150 Hey, young Jimmerson! Play at the school that won the national title in 1980. That's right, Clemson! In 79 they whupped Hershel Walker's Bulldawgs.  

Posted by: EROWMER at October 01, 2011 03:27 PM (/ZKDI)

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