April 29, 2010

Tiger Goes 121 Over Par In Marriage
— Ace

His marriage was supposed to be par one, but he had a little trouble in the rough and dick-shanked into a few strange-bunkers and wound up up at +121.

121. In five years. Though he says he can make up for some of that by being disciplined on the back nine.

The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.

Legal sources told US paper the National Enquirer: “When Tiger was in rehab for sex addiction, he filled out four pages, listing the amount of women he’d had affairs with – there were 121 in all.”

Now, after talking to top US divorce lawyers, Erin, 30, has reportedly drawn up divorce papers. They are said to cite his confession, made when she joined him for his rehab clinic “family week”.

This included a “disclosure day” when a tearful Woods allegedly owned up to the flings as part of his treatment.


But legal sources say it is the failure to name his claimed youngest one-night stand, 22-year-old Racychel Coudriet, that is said to have finally prompted the former model to file for divorce. This reported romp with a neighbours’ daughter later made headlines to add to a string of affairs which had become public, including one with New Yorker Rachel Uchitel, 34.

The source went on: “Raychel Coudriet was not on the list. After Elin found out about her she told Tiger their marriage is definitely over. There is no room for reconciliation any more.”

How the hell did he remember them all?

Hey, Check This Chick Out: Pretty nasty, but she has Tiger Woods beat.

She's charged with having sex with a horse. Also, she gave a sexually transmitted disease to a guy, and also, to his Jack Russel Terrier, too, and not through petting, either.

In related news, she'll be competing on Rock of Love next season.


Thanks to DC.

Posted by: Ace at 11:46 AM | Comments (260)
Post contains 336 words, total size 2 kb.

1

 

Huge, quickly.

Posted by: Loopy de Loop at April 29, 2010 11:47 AM (uFokq)

2 I remember all of mine.  4.

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM (5npD/)

3

 

This is a good time for me to express my disdain for Gloria Allred, who is th emost despicable person on the planet.

Posted by: Loopy de Loop at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM (uFokq)

4

He should have kept his driver in the bag.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM (ajjrO)

5

Aaaaand, just like Erin, I am not the first.

Nor the last.

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 11:49 AM (5npD/)

6

Pro golfers can remember every shot of every tournament.  Just their nature.

Amazing.

Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at April 29, 2010 11:50 AM (kNiZP)

7 Or one affair every 15 days?

Posted by: Benson at April 29, 2010 11:50 AM (qzcNU)

8 dick-shanked...

my new favorite word combination

Posted by: beerologist at April 29, 2010 11:50 AM (tgXx6)

9 Well, I've pretended my wife is 121 different woman. He's turning virtual reality into reality!

Posted by: A normal husband at April 29, 2010 11:50 AM (IhQuA)

10 How the hell did he remember them all?

Little black book, natch.

Posted by: Sam Malone at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (rOd1g)

11 STD's.  Just sayin'....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (UOM48)

12 Benson - I'm sure some of them were probably same-day, if not same-session.

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (5npD/)

13

How the hell did he remember them all?

His caddy kept score.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (0QJjg)

14 As I said over at Hotair, it appears Tiger did 18 holes six times during the marriage but pulled out partway through the back nine in his seventh time.

Posted by: Brandon In Baton Rouge at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (S/HSv)

15

"22-year-old Racychel Coudriet"

What? Please tell me there's a typo or two in there somewhere?

Posted by: Randy at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (zQKSr)

16 He'd have been better off jerking it in the trees.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 11:51 AM (ajjrO)

17 I guess Wilt's record is still safe.

Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at April 29, 2010 11:52 AM (kNiZP)

18

*swoon!*  He remembers me!

Posted by: Sonia Sotomayor at April 29, 2010 11:52 AM (5npD/)

19 How awesome that this post is up as Silky's baby momma is spilling her guts to Orca. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 11:52 AM (UOM48)

20

He probably didn't remember them all, but I bet he heard from quite a few of his "conquests" when all of this shit hit the fan.

Posted by: Cooper at April 29, 2010 11:52 AM (DXHVe)

21 121/5 = 24.2/year
24.2/12 = 2.02/month

He did, on average, a new chick every two weeks for five years.  And that doesn't count multiple go-rounds, just initial contact.

I am seriously surprised he doesn't have a major STD. 

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 11:52 AM (v0kvW)

22 7 Or one affair every 15 days?


Some of them were at the same time..2-3-4 at a time...it's a tough gig

Posted by: beerologist at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (tgXx6)

23 Seriously, he banged a different chick every 15 days for five years? Is my math just wrong?

Posted by: Benson at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (qzcNU)

24 How the hell did he remember them all?

Score cards and little pencils. You know, like mini-golf.

Posted by: DrewM. at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (9B5OK)

25 And nobody knew.  Right.

Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (kNiZP)

26 I'm jealous.  That lucky bastard.

Posted by: dogfish at April 29, 2010 11:53 AM (sGaoh)

27 Ace: "How the hell did he remember them all?"

They gave him his own, special suite at the clinic, right? He just copied them off his bedpost. It was King Kong sized, BTW.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 11:54 AM (swuwV)

28 121?

Not impressed.

Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at April 29, 2010 11:54 AM (9B5OK)

29 He wrote them down.

Posted by: Paul A'Barge at April 29, 2010 11:55 AM (scQai)

30 How the hell did he remember them all?

Names/numbers in his Blackberry?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 11:55 AM (mR7mk)

31

So, theoretically, there could be 121 little Tiger Woods running around.

In 20 years we may have a bevy of world class golfers.

Kinda like 'Boys from Brazil' but not evil.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 11:55 AM (0QJjg)

32 Seriously, he banged a different chick every 15 days for five years?

He averaged a new chick every 15 days. That doesn't mean he dumped one every 15 days.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 29, 2010 11:55 AM (rOd1g)

33 @23.  Who say's he banged one at a time.  Com'on, if your livin' the high life, you gotta think bigger.

Posted by: dogfish at April 29, 2010 11:55 AM (sGaoh)

34 I'm surprised he even bothered to learn their names.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 11:56 AM (v0kvW)

35 Looks like he'll never get to play Elin's back nine .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 29, 2010 11:56 AM (a9UO0)

36 That's only 2 a month.  Cut the guy some slack already.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 11:56 AM (1fanL)

37 (Insert favorite 19th Hole joke here)

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 29, 2010 11:56 AM (ZSVyF)

38

*cough*  ...so long as we're at it...here's the list of guys...

*thumps down another stack of papers*

...and....uh...remember that trip we took to Sea World...?

Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 11:56 AM (5npD/)

39

 

Were they all white?

Posted by: Al Sharpton at April 29, 2010 11:57 AM (uFokq)

40 For all the moronettes who are now thinking I'm a perverted pig based upon my recent comments, they were all for funnin'.  The dude should've kept his six-shooter holstered.

Posted by: dogfish at April 29, 2010 11:57 AM (sGaoh)

41 So who's advising this guy?  Did you catch the Evil Spock facial hair he's sporting at Quail Hollow?  Picking up on the ONT from a couple of days ago, guys, lose the Evil Spock beards.  Not.  Good.  And in Tiger's case, very sparse and very bad. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 11:58 AM (Kn9r7)

42 ...and....uh...remember that trip we took to Sea World...?

Pepsi through the nose...it burns...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 11:58 AM (mR7mk)

43 I have been faithful these many years to Frau Morgenholz.

Prior to that, I confess to dilly dallying.  But 121?  I didn't even shoot that on one of the toughest public course in Ohio this morning.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (B2cao)

44 If he just cut that number in half, he'd have been able to add another 15-yards to his drive due to more energy. Woods could have become a pretty decent player.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (swuwV)

45 In all seriousness, perhaps he ought to consent to being studied for science and pharmacalogical development, because he obviously has no trouble getting or maintaining an erection...

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (RZ8pf)

46 Its a wonder he didn't come down with aids or some other STD screwing around that much.

That is what his wife should damn be worried about. 

Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (QrA9E)

47 Wait - does Tiger also work for the SEC?

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (v0kvW)

48

Wow.  That's a crotch that even I don't want to smell...

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (5npD/)

49 Man's gotta know his limits...

Posted by: rawmuse at April 29, 2010 11:59 AM (9vV3W)

50 I bet Little Tiger got his own green jacket a few times, IYKWIM.  Big Tiger loves him some antibiotics.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:01 PM (v0kvW)

51 I am seriously surprised he doesn't have a major STD.

He played the odds right. You don't get diseases from whores; you get them from the neighbor's daughter. If he was keeping his whore/daughter ratio at about 100/1, he could probably have racked up about 700 before he caught anything serious. At his rate, that's around retirement (from whores) age.

Remember, he's an Asian dork. He can do math.

Posted by: oblig. at April 29, 2010 12:01 PM (x7Ao8)

52 It's not Tiger's fault...how could he help it when he kept finding himself surrounded by women named Rachel??? Really, until you've walked a mile in the golf shoes of those who carry this particular nomenclarturic fetish, who are you to judge?

Posted by: Jack M. at April 29, 2010 12:02 PM (Ncr1R)

53 I bet Little Tiger got his own green jacket a few times, IYKWIM.  Big Tiger loves him some antibiotics.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 05:01 PM (v0kvW)

What, you don't think these were high-class ladies?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:02 PM (1fanL)

54

What, you don't think these were high-class ladies?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 05:02 PM (1fanL)

They obviously didn't think much of themselves.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:03 PM (v0kvW)

Posted by: nickless at April 29, 2010 12:03 PM (MMC8r)

56

How the hell did he remember them all?

same way a serial rapist or serial killer remembers all their victims down to the smallest detail.......its all about POWER

with all his fame and money he wanted power over others

too harsh?  oh well

Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 12:03 PM (gg4j2)

57 I am seriously surprised he doesn't have a major STD.

As opposed to the minor ones?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:03 PM (1fanL)

58 The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.

Oh, and I'm going to guess that it wasn't the number as much as the fact she was someone Elin knew and probably socialized with, and possibly the sex probably happened when Tiger was at home.  Anonymous cocktail waitresses in another town are one thing, but banging a neighbor you talk shoes with while you're changing diapers next door is something else altogether.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:04 PM (mR7mk)

59

They obviously didn't think much of themselves.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 05:03 PM (v0kvW)

It's clear that you don't understand the mindset of the modern, empowered wymyn.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:04 PM (1fanL)

60 Wow.  I'll never watch Orca again, but the money quote was Reille finally shedding a couple of tears because she may have cost her daughter's "daddy" the presidency.  Sniff.

And the pink Silky Pony doll on the shelf over Orca's shoulder was priceless.

I have to say one thing for Elin, she hasn't paraded her story around. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:04 PM (UOM48)

61 .

The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.

As I read the article the total number was actually 122  The number he admitted to in therapy was 121, and Elin left because he didn't admit to doing the next door neighbor's daughter (#122). 

Posted by: Jon at April 29, 2010 12:04 PM (Xt7UU)

62 I am seriously surprised he doesn't have a major STD. 
Posted by: grognard

I think you're being presumptuous.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:04 PM (cMo6P)

63

How the hell did he remember them all?

Posted by: Ace at 04:46 PM     Notches on his putter.

Posted by: Vashta.Nerada at April 29, 2010 12:05 PM (AX3vC)

64

he should do endorsements for the rubbers he used

i am amazed there aren't at least 50 little tigers running around

whatever he used worked well

Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (gg4j2)

65 I think you're being presumptuous.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 05:04 PM (cMo6P)

Excellent point.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (v0kvW)

66 How could Tigew fowget me? He even called me "His special lil'122."

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (eoYse)

67 Okay, I give up.  Was he CONFESSING or BRAGGING?

Posted by: GarandFan at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (6mwMs)

68 He's married to Elin Fucking Nordergren.  Have you seen her?  I'd crawl a mile over broken glass to smell her pee.

The boy is sick.  He's nailing porn stars.  His dick is likely as infested with flora as is Contessa Brewer's cleavage and chin folds.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (B2cao)

69 i am amazed there aren't at least 50 little tigers running around

It's been reported he was able to pressure them to invoke their "right to choose" at least once.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:06 PM (mR7mk)

70 Tiger's Whores would make an excellent coffee table book.

Posted by: Pendant Publishing at April 29, 2010 12:07 PM (rOd1g)

71 oblig@51  Number 121 was the neighbor's daughter.  She was 21, and he was doing her while Elin was nursing their son. 

Good thing Elin's not a good ol' girl.  That falls under the "needed killin'" rule.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:07 PM (UOM48)

72 Tiger +2 (74 for the day), Mick -4 through 15 at Quail Hollow.  Bo Van Pelt shot a blistering 65 today to take the lead. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:08 PM (Kn9r7)

73 I was shish kabobing six at a time. Fucking piker.

Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at April 29, 2010 12:08 PM (iV4X6)

74 I don't have a link, but there are Tiger's Whores golf balls. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:08 PM (UOM48)

75 It's not Tiger's fault...how could he help it when he kept finding himself surrounded by women named Rachel???

Really, until you've walked a mile in the golf shoes of those who carry this particular nomenclarturic fetish, who are you to judge?

Posted by: Jack M.

One day my roommate and I realized we each had the numbers of a bunch of girls all named "Rachel" or "Rachael."  Sadly, our idea of having a party and only inviting the Rach(a)els to see how long it would take them to notice never came to fruition.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:08 PM (cMo6P)

76 I think it's a combination of the fact that the neighbor was a social acquaintance AND the fact that she was omitted.

In that type of situation, when you are claiming to be honest and getting help, and someone is giving you benefit of the doubt you clearly don't deserve, ANY kind of lie, even unintentional, is DOOM.

It might have been an intentional omission on his part, or it might have been on purpose - but whatever his intent, it made her realize that there was absolutely no way he could be trusted. Ever.




Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (v0kvW)

77

"I have to say one thing for Elin, she hasn't paraded her story around."

I keep her warm at night.

Posted by: scruples at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (5npD/)

78 Tiger thy name is Chlamydia.

Posted by: mpfs at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (QuP9W)

79 It's not Tiger's fault...how could he help it when he kept finding himself surrounded by women named Rachel???

How you doin'?

Posted by: Rachel-not at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (Kn9r7)

80

Nos. 88-96:  Girl Scout Troop 854, Racine Wisconsin 

Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (QKKT0)

81 "Now what we're doing, I want to be clear, we're not trying to push sex rehab because we begrudge success that's fairly earned.  I mean, I do think at a certain point you've fucked enough women."

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2010 12:09 PM (fLHQe)

82 81 Tiger thy name is Chlamydia.

He farked a koala

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:10 PM (Kn9r7)

83 46 In all seriousness, perhaps he ought to consent to being studied for science and pharmacalogical development, because he obviously has no trouble getting or maintaining an erection...

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 04:59 PM (RZ8pf)

 

When getting new stuff every two weeks, it should be pretty easy to maintain an erection.  It is live participation porn.

 

Posted by: Vashta.Nerada at April 29, 2010 12:10 PM (AX3vC)

84 I can't even remember my number.  It's like 23 or 24.  No way I can remember more than about ten names.

Posted by: Truman North at April 29, 2010 12:10 PM (e8YaH)

85 Good thing Elin's not a good ol' girl.  That falls under the "needed killin'" rule.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

Yeah.  How did this not end up like that first episode of Justified?  Tiger at the kitchen table...

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:10 PM (cMo6P)

86 i am amazed there aren't at least 50 little tigers running around

The porn star claimed she got pregnant.  That's bullshit.  We all know they swallow that stuff.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:10 PM (B2cao)

87 Bogey!  Bogey!  Bogey!  Bogey!

Posted by: Tiger Wood at April 29, 2010 12:11 PM (GwPRU)

88

The next door neighbor's daughter was the last straw because he tried to hide it until the very end, after, most likely, swearing up and down that there was only 14, no 20, no 33, no 57 no, one hundred and twenty friggin one!  Therapists who work with troubled marriages call this crap "trickle truth" because it comes out in a bit at a time, leaving the betrayed spouse on edge waiting for the rest of the shoes to drop. 

Other reason why the neighbor's daughter was the last straw...it was the neighbor's daughter, somebody right on their street, a friend, maybe even the babysitter on occasion. It's bad enough to step out when you're out of town, but doing it right in your home, right in your bed is something else.

I hope she takes him for every dime. If he wanted to screw around, he could have gotten a divorce, or not gotten married in the first place. 

Posted by: vivi at April 29, 2010 12:11 PM (84HQT)

89

73  i married a hillbilly

if she caught me tapping 122, she would double tap me with a .22

IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 12:11 PM (gg4j2)

90

nomenclarturic fetish

I had a friend in college who only dated "Mikes" so apparently some people do actually have this fetish.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 12:12 PM (RZ8pf)

91 i am amazed there aren't at least 50 little tigers running around

I only played the back nine, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 12:12 PM (rOd1g)

92 What are his kids supposed to think of him?  Pathetic.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:13 PM (cMo6P)

93

Seriously, even if he hadn't shagged the neighbor's daughter, is 120 a forgivable number? 

I don't know how the hell you'd quantify something like that, but 120 seems way past the mark.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2010 12:13 PM (fLHQe)

94 if she caught me tapping 122, she would double tap me with a .22

"How in the ever loving fuck do I reload this piece of shit?"  <----- The last words heard by Herr Morgenholz

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:13 PM (B2cao)

95 If Tiger wasn't Tiger he'd be some dork going home from work every night alone watching pron. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:13 PM (UOM48)

96 If only I'd allowed him to play the back nine...

Posted by: Elin at April 29, 2010 12:14 PM (4XzsU)

97 She's charged with having sex with a horse. Also, she gave a sexually transmitted disease to a guy, and also, to his Jack Russel Terrier, too, and not through petting, either. This is horrible and abusive and I'm struggling manfully not to laugh at it. DAMN YOU ACE!

Posted by: joncelli at April 29, 2010 12:14 PM (RD7QR)

98 Therapists who work with troubled marriages call this crap "trickle truth" because it comes out in a bit at a time, leaving the betrayed spouse on edge waiting for the rest of the shoes to drop.

Bingo. When I went into treatment, I hit rock bottom, and I spilled my guts.  I offered as much information as I could without being graphic, and then answered every single question without hesitation.

I took treatment seriously.  Things aren't perfect but we're still together and maybe one day I'll have gained back some measure of trust.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:15 PM (v0kvW)

99

Interesting fact: A Chinese checkers board has 121 holes

 The Stooges song “We Will Fall” includes the lyrics “Don't forget to come. Room 121.” 

Hmm.

Thanks, Wikipedia!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 12:16 PM (0QJjg)

100

98   If Tiger wasn't Tiger he'd be some dork going home from work every night alone watching pron.

so what you saying is kratos needs to learn golf?

Posted by: policiademarinajose at April 29, 2010 12:16 PM (gg4j2)

101 I don't know how the hell you'd quantify something like that, but 120 seems way past the mark.

Yeah.  I'm not sure what a forgivable number is, for me, anyway.  I guess it depends on circumstances to some extent, but I think I'd have trouble with even one. 

In a way he did her a favor.  She should get anything and everything she wants in the divorce... unless we really are to believe that people are accepting the "it's a disease" crap he (and now Big Ben) are peddling. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:16 PM (Kn9r7)

102

Listen, there weren't 121 AFFAIRS, there were 121 women he fucked. 

Some of them were whores, some of them party girls, and some confused, infatuated one night stands.

Those aren't affairs.

The only reason this is a public problem is because Elin didn't want to go along (and who can blame her). 

He's just younger and more spread out than most rich dudes getting a little side-action.

Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 12:16 PM (UaxA0)

103

He didn't remember a fraction.  Those are the repeat performances he kept on the speed dial.  He's probably in Gene Simmons territory when you calculate total dick shanks.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:16 PM (cniXs)

104 #43?  Ur mom.

Posted by: Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 12:17 PM (1fanL)

105 I think it'd be awesome if she got every last penny of his and he had to start from scratch.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:17 PM (cMo6P)

106

nomenclarturic fetish

I had a friend in college who only dated "Mikes" so apparently some people do actually have this fetish.

After I broke up with my fifth Melissa in college, I realized that I had a problem.  And that problem was:  Girls named Melissa be CRAZY BISHES!

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:17 PM (q/kmn)

107 Listen, there weren't 121 AFFAIRS, there were 121 women he fucked. 

Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 05:16 PM (UaxA0)

Is that you, Eddie Murphy?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:18 PM (1fanL)

108 Dear Elin,

I would like to marry you.

If you say yes, I promise to cheat of you with 120 women or less.

Please let me know your decision soon,
Doc

Posted by: Doc at April 29, 2010 12:19 PM (WKOg4)

109 Is that you, Eddie Murphy?

He said "women," not trannies. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:19 PM (Kn9r7)

110 He's just gross.  Ewwww

Posted by: LR at April 29, 2010 12:19 PM (wM0sa)

111 of = on

Posted by: Doc at April 29, 2010 12:19 PM (WKOg4)

112 This makes me even happier he didn't win the Masters.  Douche.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:19 PM (UOM48)

113 I had a friend in college who only dated "Mikes" so apparently some people do actually have this fetish.

It's practical - no worries about screaming out the wrong name.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 29, 2010 12:20 PM (rOd1g)

114 1 affair is a tragedy, 122 is a statistic.

Posted by: General Secretary Tiger Woods at April 29, 2010 12:20 PM (epBek)

115

Golf This Way

I-HOP sweetie with a sassy kinda classy
Little skirt's climbin' way up the knee
It was three young ladies in a golf course locker
When I noticed they were lookin' at me
I was a high school loser never made it with a lady
'Til the boys told me something I missed
Then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor
So I gave her just a little kiss
A like this

Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 12:20 PM (qwK3S)

116 Not Tiger's fault. The white patriarchy made him do it.

Posted by: Amanda Kijera, civic journalist and activist in Haiti at April 29, 2010 12:21 PM (swuwV)

117 So no we know, everyone has a limit and hers was 121.

is there a formula? Square root of net worth in millions? eight times circumference of pecker? handicap x shoe size?

common moronettes, put us morons some knowledge so we know when to stop. Tell us ... for the children,...

Posted by: nine coconuts at April 29, 2010 12:21 PM (DHNp4)

118 PGiS, Really? How many does it take to move it from "coincidence" to "fetish"? I'm asking for, um, a friend of mine who has a thing about women with PGiS in their names.

Posted by: Jack M. at April 29, 2010 12:21 PM (Ncr1R)

119 Dear Elin,

I would like to marry you.

If you say yes, I promise to cheat of you with 120 women or less between multiple rounds of golf.

I'm sticking up for you, bro.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:22 PM (B2cao)

120

40 For all the moronettes who are now thinking I'm a perverted pig

Please.  Any regular here obviously has a sense of humor.  Well, except for some-fuckity fuck fuck-guy.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:22 PM (cniXs)

121 115 This makes me even happier he didn't win the Masters.

Yeah.  And the PGA is still peddling him.  OK, on the course during a match, that's one thing, but the lead up to Quail Hollow was virtually non-stop Tiger coverage.  The part that sickened me the most was the images the PGA posted of little kids, boys mostly, staring up at the pig adoringly.  Seeing Michael Jordan the enabler's ugly mug didn't help much either. 

Stick to covering the game, PGA. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:22 PM (Kn9r7)

122 Elin needs to experience a real man.  One who knows how important proper hair and grooming are.  Ummm, isn't she getting some of Tiger's sweet cash?  Not that it matters......

Posted by: John Edwards at April 29, 2010 12:22 PM (UOM48)

123 is there a formula? Square root of net worth in millions? eight times circumference of pecker? handicap x shoe size?

Pretty sure it's the net worth thing.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:22 PM (1fanL)

124 Risin' up, back on the tee
Bid my time, completely classless
Dropped by the misses, now I'm back on feet
Just a man and his will to fuck anything that moves

So many times it happened so fast
You change your passion for glory (hole)
Don't lose your grip on the girls of the past
You must fight just to keep them away from each other

It's the Eye of the Tiger, it's the cream of some guy
Rising up to the challenge with Ambian
And the last known survivor stalks his prey on voicemail
And I'm watching you all in the.... Eye of the Tiger

Posted by: Survivor at April 29, 2010 12:23 PM (pUfK9)

125 The Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer just turned over on the mantelpiece.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 12:23 PM (0QJjg)

126

Rock of Love will have to make sure their slut puppies look decent in a nurses' uniform. I think Brett will still be in drool mode by then.

(wut? you were thinking it too!!)

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 12:24 PM (pLTLS)

127

"I don't know how the hell you'd quantify something like that, but 120 seems way past the mark."

To drop everyone a little perspective...we're talking roughly the entire coach-class cabin on an MD-80 jetliner.

Yeah.

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:24 PM (q/kmn)

128 So.....
she didn't know about any of this, huh?

Don't deal with the devil.

Posted by: el Z Ryan at April 29, 2010 12:25 PM (cMo6P)

129 I feel sorry for Tiger's mom.  Gawd.  She must be mortified, and terribly sad for her grandchildren.  Wasn't his dad a player?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:25 PM (UOM48)

130

61 The odd thing is that his wife would have forgiven him, apparently, if he had just kept it to 120.

I think its more he was supposed to come clean as part of his "recovery" and this proved he is still lying through his teeth.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:25 PM (cniXs)

131 Actually, his wife had been really ticked off when she heard about #26, and had threatened divorce, but she calmed down by the time he got to #34 ... only to flip out at #42 ... and then forget why she was mad because she had once met #47 and they had spoken about the funniest things ... only to be shocked into silence by #71 ...

The fact is that Tiger might have gotten Elin back if he had a few more and finished on a good one.  Better luck next time, Tiger.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at April 29, 2010 12:25 PM (Qp4DT)

132 handicap x shoe size?

My handicap is huge.  It makes my feet look look bigger.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at April 29, 2010 12:25 PM (B2cao)

133 grognard - Have faith, because you did the right thing.  God will bless and rebuild your marriage.

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:26 PM (q/kmn)

134 133 I feel sorry for Tiger's mom.

Yeah, his poor mom, aka "the human prop."  It was disgusting the way he dragged her out for his big come clean press conference.  And dragged her religion into it to use that as a prop as well. 

But I gather that the dad was a philanderer, too, so I guess the family dynamics weren't the best. 

Poor kids. 

Posted by: Y-not at April 29, 2010 12:27 PM (Kn9r7)

135 One obvious advantage to dating people with the same name is that it's easier to remember their name. 

Posted by: Ronster at April 29, 2010 12:27 PM (I+U8m)

136 @137 - Thanks - here's hoping. I'm working on it.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (v0kvW)

137

Wasn't his dad a player?

Yes, apple didn't fall far from the tree in that family. Or the coconut tree. Whatever. I can't keep his heritage straight.  

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (pLTLS)

138

121? You're basically still a virgin.

Posted by: Gene Simmons at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (gxpfq)

139 What? Please tell me there's a typo or two in there somewhere? I'm a communications major at Sycacuse Unicollege

Posted by: Racychel Coudriet, model/actress at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (4Kl5M)

140

Rock of Love will have to make sure their slut puppies look decent in a nurses' uniform. I think Brett will still be in drool mode by then.

(wut? you were thinking it too!!)

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 05:24 PM (pLTLS)

Poison fan, huh?  You loves you some big hair?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (1fanL)

141

Because of Kerner's alleged sexual activities with other men and animals, the informant, who had dated the woman, and his Jack Russell terrier both contracted sexually transmitted diseases, court documents state.

That really is some kind of special.

Posted by: Santiago en San Diego at April 29, 2010 12:28 PM (F09Uo)

142

I feel sorry for that Jack Russell.

He was tricked!!!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 12:29 PM (0QJjg)

143 Gene Simmons.  Yeech.  He needs to lay off the black hair color like Crist and Boehner need to step away from the self tan. 


Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:30 PM (UOM48)

144

Poison fan, huh?  You loves you some big hair?

Whitesnake. Tawny Kitaen style.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 12:30 PM (pLTLS)

145 I wonder if Elin had really thought it through to the point of "How many is forgivable?" I suspect she was not focussing on the numbers, she was focussing on the truth issue, and watching for the lie. When it came, it was all over. If he'd lie at a moment like that, he'd never stop lying. So how do we KNOW he screwed "only" 122 women? It's just his word, and his word is worthless; for all we (or she) know, it could be 1,022.

Posted by: Dr Mabuse at April 29, 2010 12:30 PM (CPdUf)

146

Jack M. I’m going to go with anything over 3 takes it into fetish territory. Especially if there are no relationships with other names in between.

 

Of course, with Tiger’s number of sexual partners, I’d think it is more a statistical chance than a fetish…

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 12:30 PM (RZ8pf)

147 One thing I learned in treatment is that no matter how bad I thought I was (and I was), there was always someone else that did worse things.

It's even true in this thread - Tiger has 121 notches, yet there's a chick somewhere that's into animals and gave a disease to a terrier.

So, as bad as Tiger was, who was worse in his rehab group?  Because - there *was* someone worse.

Posted by: grognard at April 29, 2010 12:30 PM (v0kvW)

148 He just needed some girls to shag balls.

Posted by: Random Voter at April 29, 2010 12:31 PM (ajjrO)

149 OT/ Steele went on CNN today and said


“As someone who has been the victim of racial profiling, there must be a necessary sensitivity to that issue,” he said. “And understanding that any perception of racism in law becomes racism in fact for the individual who is the subject of that law. And so that is an important aspect of this law as well that I know our leadership is very, very sensitive to.”


He likes to pull out his race card a lot.

Posted by: TC at April 29, 2010 12:31 PM (4XzsU)

150 OT Anyone watching Beck now or this week?  He is exposing the scam behind cap and trade.

Posted by: anon at April 29, 2010 12:32 PM (j/wD+)

151

Speaking of Whitesnake a FOAFOAF was such a fan he named his son Tawmmy after Tawny Kitaen.

This was in North Carolina, by the way.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 12:32 PM (0QJjg)

152

OK, I’m going to be totally crass here, but women and farm animals? I mean it’s not like the pig is just sitting in its sty thinking “hey that’s a hunka hunka burnin love and I’ve got to gets me some.”

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at April 29, 2010 12:34 PM (RZ8pf)

153

put us morons some knowledge so we know when to stop.

At this point, one is a deal breaker.  If you don't want to keep it in your pants don't date anyone seriously or get married.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:34 PM (cniXs)

154

"One obvious advantage to dating people with the same name is that it's easier to remember their name."

One distinct disadvantage is when you're sitting around with friends, and tell a funny anecdote about the wrong one.

"...don't you remember that, hun...?"
"No...my parents don't have a pool..."
*awkward silence*

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:34 PM (q/kmn)

155 anon@154  I am.  He kinda freaked me out by insinuating at the top of the show if anything happened to him, etc., etc., etc.  That's over the top.  But the ties with Gore, Soros, SEIU, all of Barry's pals (and Barry) is just unbelievable.

We're screwed.  And I'm so angry I could stroke out right now.

Back to Tigah!

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:34 PM (UOM48)

156

Whitesnake. Tawny Kitaen style.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at April 29, 2010 05:30 PM (pLTLS)

There you go again on your pwn.  Anybody remember the stadium organ player who got fired for playing that song when Chuck Finley was at bat?

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:34 PM (1fanL)

157 P.S.  Tawny has not aged well.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:37 PM (1fanL)

158 O/T

We had the giant house eating snails in FL; now we have giant racoons in Chitown

http://tinyurl.com/23sn58r


Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 12:38 PM (QrA9E)

159 Who the hell is "Erin"? Was that #122?

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at April 29, 2010 12:39 PM (554T5)

160 “As someone who has been the victim of racial profiling


Nice of Steele not to mention those were Democrat voters throwing Oreos at him.  Gah.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:39 PM (mR7mk)

161 Who the hell is "Erin"? Was that #122?

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at April 29, 2010 05:39 PM (554T5)

Typo.  Elin.

Posted by: FUBAR at April 29, 2010 12:40 PM (1fanL)

162 Peanut butter is a natural anti-biotic.  I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at April 29, 2010 12:41 PM (q/kmn)

163 O/T:  Been very busy today but, clicked into drudge and noticed two things:  1.  BO cried at this woman's funeral this morning....did he go to his gram's funeral...don't remember hearing a thing about that  2.  Drudge says  BO has embraced the guy running for the senate whose family bank failed...is this the guy they were writing about as not clean as a whistle?

Posted by: curious at April 29, 2010 12:41 PM (p302b)

164

"Nice of Steele not to mention those were Democrat voters throwing Oreos at him."

Hey!  Hey now.  Let's not lower ourselves to Political Profiling.  /snark

Posted by: reason at April 29, 2010 12:43 PM (q/kmn)

165

Okay, yeah, she fucked the horse, but when she fucked the pig, that was totally it.

Posted by: Pig Bigot at April 29, 2010 12:43 PM (ajjrO)

166 Thats a releif! I thought this was a case of racism since Sandra Bullock made the announcement before Elan.  heh heh Check out this ass! Cheated on his intended, the Princess of Sweden. What a stoopid douchebag. hahahahaha

Posted by: Sonnyspats1 at April 29, 2010 12:43 PM (68tQb)

167 If there's film of them doing the deed, it's not profiling.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 29, 2010 12:43 PM (mR7mk)

168 Looks like they'll be a big litter of tigers.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 12:44 PM (ajjrO)

169 Holy Moses. A drop of his blood could fell an elephant.

Posted by: fb at April 29, 2010 12:44 PM (G60Nl)

170 now we have giant racoons in Chitown

Heh.  That got me thinking about rabies.  Then, I started thinking about some mutated super rabies that would be more virulent and have a much shorter incubation period.

ZOMBIES!

Posted by: MikeO at April 29, 2010 12:44 PM (lBmZl)

171

161 P.S.  Tawny has not aged well.

Probably because she does drugs like the donkey in Bachelor Party. 

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:45 PM (cniXs)

172 So he admitted this during 'family week.'  That's sweet.

Posted by: ReallyOldGuy at April 29, 2010 12:45 PM (kNiZP)

173

She's charged with having sex with a horse. Also, she gave a sexually transmitted disease to a guy, and also, to his Jack Russel Terrier, too, and not through petting, either.

That's one affair the guy won't forget.  Or his dog.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 12:46 PM (zL5Q1)

174 146

I feel sorry for that Jack Russell.

He was tricked!!!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 05:29 PM (0QJjg)

He was peer-pressured into it by the horse. Obviously the dog was trying to keep up with the pig.

I can't believe I just wrote that

Posted by: Santiago en San Diego at April 29, 2010 12:48 PM (F09Uo)

175 77 He's probably going to pay about ten million a piece for each one of those babes he bedded. Hope it was worth it to him.
Posted by: Upscale Community Organizing Thought Criminal

On what grounds? It's not like they were anything except volunteers?

Posted by: Dianna at April 29, 2010 12:52 PM (qrFCz)

176 I feel for Elin.   I wish she'd knocked his fucking teeth out with that nine iron. 

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 12:52 PM (y4B2y)

177

179 On what grounds?

That's the amount Elin will extract per scrunt.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 12:53 PM (cniXs)

178 jane@159 True, Beck does engage in hyperbole which hurts his credibility, but if any of this is true it is HUGE!  Is anyone at here at Ace going to blog about it?

Posted by: anon at April 29, 2010 12:54 PM (j/wD+)

179 121 women, multiple times?   I can't believe with all that nasty fornicating, he never slipped one past the goalie at least once.   He must have gotten snipped.   Either that, or he got a strain of VD that flew up his vas deferens and blew up in his testicles like a hand grenade in a trash can.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 12:57 PM (y4B2y)

180 He reportedly (don't you just love "reportedly") knocked up the porn star twice.  She lost one baby, and aborted the other.  Stupid skank, and Tiger can die in a fire.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 12:59 PM (UOM48)

181 Can't wait for the movie...

Posted by: brak at April 29, 2010 01:00 PM (W5NBA)

182

183  He has Planned Parenthood on speed dial?

 

As for that woman: Eeeewwwww, Gawd, that's disgusting....just disgusting

Posted by: unknown jane at April 29, 2010 01:01 PM (5/yRG)

183

Slight nit to pick: "Over par" refers to the number of strokes per hole based on an established average.  It doesn't refer to the number of holes played, which was Tiger's problem. 

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at April 29, 2010 01:01 PM (kmEfr)

184 Can't wait for the movie...

I don't think there's a Hollywood actress pretty enough to play Elin.  The girl is gorgeous. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:01 PM (UOM48)

185

178 He was peer-pressured into it by the horse. Obviously the dog was trying to keep up with the pig.

I can't believe I just wrote that

Disgusting.  And very funny. 

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 01:02 PM (zL5Q1)

186 He reportedly (don't you just love "reportedly") knocked up the porn star twice.  She lost one baby, and aborted the other.  Stupid skank, and Tiger can die in a fire.

I don't believe the porn star.  Did you see her press conference, dressed in a demure skirt and blouse, eyes cast downward at the table, as Gloria Allred pontificated about how Tiger owed her an apology for embarrassing her?  Um....she's a PORN STAR.  A Public Fornicator.  I think her starring role in Backdoor Babes Part 32  pretty much sealed the deal on public embarrassment.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:02 PM (y4B2y)

187 ...EIEIO!

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 01:03 PM (0QJjg)

Posted by: WalrusRex at April 29, 2010 01:03 PM (xxgag)

189

"He told me I was the only one."

("So I just forgot about the ring on his finger.")

Posted by: Whore #117 at April 29, 2010 01:05 PM (ajjrO)

190 "He told me I was the only one."

Posted by: Whore #83 at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (ajjrO)

191

 "He told me I was the only one."

Posted by: Whore #37 at April 29, 2010 01:06 PM (ajjrO)

192 As of midnight last night women are no longer banned from serving on U.S. subs.  What could possibly go wrong? 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at April 29, 2010 01:07 PM (UOM48)

193 "He told me I was the only one, and I believed him because he made the room dark so I couldn't see the ring on his finger."

Posted by: Whore #55 at April 29, 2010 01:07 PM (ajjrO)

194

At this point, one is a deal breaker.  If you don't want to keep it in your pants don't date anyone seriously or get married.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy

Yep.

If you've got me at home, you sure as hell do not need to be getting any somewhere else.

Posted by: Dianna at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (qrFCz)

195 As of midnight last night women are no longer banned from serving on U.S. subs.  What could possibly go wrong?

Hope they stock Plan B in the dispensary

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (y4B2y)

196

"I would never, never fuck a guy just because he's famous and rich.  Besides, he told me I was the only one."

Posted by: Whore #63 at April 29, 2010 01:08 PM (ajjrO)

197 Ombudsman: "I wish she'd knocked his fucking teeth out with that nine iron."

I think that function comes out as a patch in EA Sports Tiger Woods PGA Tour '11. Everyone should upgrade now.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 01:10 PM (swuwV)

198 If you've got me at home, you sure as hell do not need to be getting any somewhere else.


What you're seeing is an open window into the psyche of a certain type of man.  Most men would be ecstatic to have a woman like Elin at home.  But for a certain type of guy, novelty, variety, and the thrill of the hunt trump all.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:11 PM (y4B2y)

199 "None of us would fuck a guy just because he's famous and rich.  We're in committed relationships, you know.  And our husbands and boyfriends might not like it.  Besides, he told me I was the only one."

Posted by: Whore #108 at April 29, 2010 01:11 PM (ajjrO)

200 Jane D'oh: "As of midnight last night women are no longer banned from serving on U.S. subs."

So, um, where does one enlist?

Posted by: Tiger's Wood at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (swuwV)

201 How the hell did expect all of these women to keep their mouths shut?  Hell, they couldn't keep their legs shut.  He couldn't have thought  he could have paid them all off.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 01:13 PM (y4B2y)

202 HOLY CRAP so this dude AND his dog both have the same STD?   So I wonder who got the sloppy seconds

Posted by: chemjeff at April 29, 2010 01:14 PM (Gk/wA)

203

But for a certain type of guy, novelty, variety, and the thrill of the hunt trump all.

Give me a break.  It says just as much about women.  I know, because every time I want variety and thrill I [don't] get swarmed by hordes of beautiful women, since I'm [not] rich and famous.

According to Ombudsman, all you have to do is be horny to get laid any time you want--you just have to be one of those types of guys.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 01:14 PM (ajjrO)

204 According to Ombudsman, Ace gets new poontang twice a month.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 01:16 PM (ajjrO)

205 "I would never cheat on my boyfriend."

Posted by: Whore #29 at April 29, 2010 01:17 PM (ajjrO)

206 "I would never cheat on my husband."

Posted by: Whore #87 at April 29, 2010 01:18 PM (ajjrO)

207 "Let's be honest.  I'd never cheat unless the guy was rich and famous... and if he said "Lets go, bitch."  But that's it!  Unless he tells me I'm the only one.  Like Tiger did."

Posted by: Whore #87 at April 29, 2010 01:20 PM (ajjrO)

208 I'm Whore #87; you're Whore #33, dummy.

Posted by: Whore #87 at April 29, 2010 01:20 PM (ajjrO)

209 191 He reportedly (don't you just love "reportedly") knocked up the porn star twice.  She lost one baby, and aborted the other.  Stupid skank, and Tiger can die in a fire.

I don't believe the porn star.

Hell yeah, buddy.  Everybody knows you finish on their face!  Besides, Plan B is my Plan A, know what I mean.  High five!

Posted by: Tiger at April 29, 2010 01:21 PM (W5NBA)

210 But for a certain type of guy, novelty, variety, and the thrill of the hunt trump all.

Posted by: Ombudsman at April 29, 2010 06:11 PM (y4B2y)

*slowly gets up from computer and slinks into the other room*

Posted by: a moron with a guilty conscience at April 29, 2010 01:23 PM (YVZlY)

211 OMG, that incident happened in my county!!!  Thank goodness, not in my town.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at April 29, 2010 01:23 PM (sFoSW)

212

Can you get us the mug shots of Dovie Lee Kerner goddess?

I bet she's a real looker.

Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 01:28 PM (F09Uo)

213 Man, you would think he could of thrown a few my way

Posted by: Sam at April 29, 2010 01:30 PM (Cxsey)

214 "Aren't we called 'starfuckers'?"

Posted by: Whore #94 at April 29, 2010 01:31 PM (ajjrO)

215

Everyone should upgrade now.

Kyle and Stan have it already.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at April 29, 2010 01:33 PM (cniXs)

216 207 HOLY CRAP so this dude AND his dog both have the same STD?   So I wonder who got the sloppy seconds

Posted by: chemjeff at April 29, 2010 06:14 PM (Gk/wA)

I'm guessing the pig.  He ought to get checked.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 01:34 PM (zL5Q1)

217 Any port in a storm, as long as the direction is...

Posted by: bi-someguy at April 29, 2010 01:38 PM (iV4X6)

218 It is so fucking embarrassing to live in Pennsylvania.

Posted by: dulce at April 29, 2010 01:38 PM (HFdqI)

219 Why didn't someone come to me like a fucking man and tell me I wasn't the only one.

Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 01:40 PM (qwK3S)

220 dulce, you're telling me, you fucking racist!

Posted by: zombie murtha at April 29, 2010 01:40 PM (iV4X6)

221 And where's that En Fuego guy or whatever when he's needed.

Posted by: Mr. Barky at April 29, 2010 01:42 PM (qwK3S)

222


No matter how hot the bitch is, someone, somewhere is sick of her shit.

Elin must have a lot of shit that the Tigger had to deal with.

Posted by: s'moron at April 29, 2010 01:49 PM (UaxA0)

223 Just goes to show you how being around powerful, rich men turns women into total sluts. They all claim they aren't, and that they "aren't that kind of girl", or don't do things like that. But they (nearly) all do.

Posted by: Jon at April 29, 2010 01:51 PM (rq8mq)

224 Eldrick has done a great service for pussyhounds across America. "Come on, I only banged 105 other broads. That's not so bad."

Posted by: Golf My Balls at April 29, 2010 01:52 PM (vclH5)

225 "Anyone seen Whore #49?  I got one of Tiger's voicemails for her."

Posted by: Whore #18 at April 29, 2010 01:53 PM (ajjrO)

226
Now that is something new. Screwing a boy and his dog, and giving them both std's too. Damn.

Posted by: sTevo at April 29, 2010 01:54 PM (zIUsq)

227 What about the horse he rode in on?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 01:55 PM (0QJjg)

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 01:56 PM (ajjrO)

229 Something tells me that there has got to be something wrong with Elin...... though I'm impressed at Tiger's rate of a new chick every 15 days.

Posted by: Draki at April 29, 2010 01:56 PM (PVqdV)

230

"I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a baby!"

When 72-year-old Pearl met her grandson, little did she realise she'd soon be 'pregnant' with his child

Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.

Suddenly, having sex with multiple farm animals doesn't look so bad, or as bad, or something.

http://bit.ly/aY90ig

Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 02:03 PM (F09Uo)

231

If I were Tiger's Attorney I'd file a lawsuit against the Porn Industry:

Babysitters, Neighbor's Daughter, Party Girls, Co-Eds, Actresses, Hostesses, Waitresses, I'm sure there were a few Hitchhikers, Nurses, Teachers and Boss's Wives in there, too...maybe even a Tutor or Hot Female Pirate!?

He was merely acting out the scripts of the countless Pornographic Filmss he had watched in a lifetime of being an American male. Who amongst us could argue this fact?

He was defenseless.  He knew only how women were portrayed in Pornography and reacted, he thought, appropriately. It would be rude, to act otherwise.

The same affect is causing doubtless harm to our children who are exposed to Violent Video Games and Movie Themes. Study after study shows the direct correlation between consumption of Violent themed entertainment and Violent Crime.

My Client's behaviour must be seen in the same light. 

The Entertainment industry is to Blame. Specifically,the Pornography industry is to Blame.

Don't blame my Client. Blame Bob Guccione Jr., Blame Larry Flynt, Blame Ron Jeremy and Peter North !

Blame the Corporate Giant that poisons the minds of American Men!

- Blame Big Cock. 

Posted by: garrett representing Tiger at April 29, 2010 02:04 PM (/ZAVZ)

232 ...though I'm impressed at Tiger's rate of a new chick every 15 days.

Posted by: Draki at April 29, 2010 06:56 PM (PVqdV)

If I was Tiger Woods, and had as low of standards as he does, I so could have topped that!

Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 02:04 PM (F09Uo)

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 29, 2010 02:06 PM (ajjrO)

234 232 What about the horse he rode in on?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 06:55 PM (0QJjg)

Clearly she loved this guy for his livestock.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 02:07 PM (zL5Q1)

235

Clearly she loved this guy for his livestock.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 07:07 PM (zL5Q1)

That would make me feel bad that my gf was only using me to get to my pig, or my dog.

Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 02:08 PM (F09Uo)

236

I am seriously surprised Tiger doesn't have a major STD.

They can call it the "Golf Clap."

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 29, 2010 02:11 PM (0QJjg)

237 Draki: "Something tells me that there has got to be something wrong with Elin..."

Yeah, I'm kinda wondering how you miss that many signals. No one can hide his weaseling that well or park the porpoise so subtly. I mean, that was one busy Rumpleforeskin. (Credit goes to Mrs. Doubtfire who could spot BS from a blimp.)

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2010 02:11 PM (swuwV)

238 235- Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Suddenly, Tiger doesn't seem to be that immoral of a guy.

Posted by: grace at April 29, 2010 02:11 PM (Exq1l)

239 #235:  No city or state named, yet names are... the story seems faked.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 02:19 PM (zL5Q1)

240 244 #235:  No city or state named, yet names are... the story seems faked.

Posted by: theCork at April 29, 2010 07:19 PM (zL5Q1)

In further checking, you might be right, It now seems to be originally sourced to a satire website.

Damn! I hate getting punked.

Posted by: El Diablo Blanco Con Ojos Azules en San Diego at April 29, 2010 02:31 PM (F09Uo)

241 Pix plz? K thx by.

Posted by: SEC at April 29, 2010 02:43 PM (ytCsK)

242 Due to Bret Michaels's recent health challenges, they are changing the name of the show to Pet Rock of Love.

Posted by: stuiec at April 29, 2010 03:04 PM (W+GYq)

243 He's married to Elin Fucking Nordergren.  Have you seen her? 

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz

Yeah, I stood next to her for a while at Tiger's tournament in Thousand Oaks.  She was only his girlfriend at the time.  She was cute, but not Nearly the hottest female in the crowd.  Granted, it is Thousand Oaks (about an hour from LA / Hollywood), but still.  Professional photographers can work some serious magic.

Posted by: Terry at April 29, 2010 03:19 PM (TJ8HB)

244 Hmmmm.

"My woman left me for a bright-eyed Jack Russell Terrier and nobody seems to care....." -Led Zepplin

Posted by: memomachine at April 29, 2010 03:30 PM (MwCol)

245 Woods should look on the bright side: since he'll be single again at some point, he'll then be free to hop into the sack with any female he wants.

Posted by: Blacque Jacques Shellacque at April 29, 2010 03:36 PM (Q75cY)

246 Right. We are to believe that 120 was okay but 121 was not? And this spill your guts thing: It is for HIS treatment - it doesn't make her feel good and it kills the marriage. So, why subject yourself to that humiliation again?

Posted by: moi at April 29, 2010 04:15 PM (Ez4Ql)

247 45 Its a wonder he didn't come down with aids or some other STD screwing around that much.

That is what his wife should damn be worried about. 

Posted by: Vic at April 29, 2010 04:59 PM (QrA9E)

Who says he didn't? Maybe that's what the golf-club-over-the-head incident that started this whole thing was really all about. Or finding out there was a Tiny Tiger or two, or three, out there.

Posted by: Average Jen at April 29, 2010 04:24 PM (fRnux)

248 Have never and will not understand how stupid asses like this male fuckabout can land a girl like Elin (whatever her Scandi last name is) and then want to cheat in the first place.

Unbelievable.

And we see it over and over again too.

Posted by: Schlippy at April 29, 2010 04:53 PM (Bv9IO)

249

One obvious advantage to dating people with the same name is that it's easier to remember their name.

What's even worse is trying to remember the color of their eyes.

There's nothing worse than talking to the b*tch on the phone when she starts asking you what color her eyes are - "You do remember what color my eyes are, don't you?" - ugh, what an unmitigated f***ing nightmare that conversation always is.

I've dated b*tches, in multi-year relationships, and couldn't [reliably] tell you the color of their eyes to save my life.

 

Posted by: Lindsey Grahamnesty licking Rahm Emanuel's sweet hairy balls at April 29, 2010 04:56 PM (J+UTa)

250 Oh, yeah - like you've never had sex with a pig.

Posted by: Ruprect the Monkey Boy at April 29, 2010 05:10 PM (D6Uk6)

Posted by: Kemp at April 29, 2010 06:07 PM (2+9Yx)

252 Oh Mandingo, try again.

http://tinyurl.com/3697lvj

Posted by: Kemp at April 29, 2010 06:08 PM (2+9Yx)

253 Oh Mandingo!! more!

http://tinyurl.com/ycko6gu

Posted by: Kemp at April 29, 2010 06:13 PM (2+9Yx)

254 Word is, he never used a rubber. ICK. He's a walking petri dish at this point, especially if he's uncut.

GROSS, people. Just gross. No wonder she cold-cocked him with a golf club.

Posted by: Beverly at April 29, 2010 09:39 PM (vA1sv)

Posted by: T8 to T5 adapter Kits at April 29, 2010 10:06 PM (qgFwU)

Posted by: weight loss at April 29, 2010 11:52 PM (lAoNn)

257 Well...obama has two kids. He must have engaged in beastiality at least twice.

Posted by: LtE113 at April 30, 2010 06:01 AM (8EieV)

258 I would never cheat on my boyfriend.  Unless his Jack Russell terrier told me I was the only one. . .

Posted by: Dovie Lee Kerner at April 30, 2010 07:31 AM (zF6Iw)

259 These comments are the best!

Posted by: sandi at May 01, 2010 10:38 AM (mFp4E)

260 Ok, I like this article.

Posted by: duck at November 01, 2010 06:30 PM (AD1BC)

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