April 27, 2006

The Spirit of The Lord, Bitch
— LauraW.

Dave at Garfield Ridge introduces us to a preacher who in turn educates us about God Almighty, Ruler of Heaven and Earf and every GODDAMNED THING IN BETWEEN.

Go get saved, motherfucker.

Posted by: LauraW. at 05:27 AM | Comments (44)
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Allow me to conversate it again.... We got Muthafuckin' snakes in the Muthafuckin' Church.

Posted by: scott at April 27, 2006 05:38 AM (Ffvoi)

2 Nice Laura.

Posted by: SIlk at April 27, 2006 05:47 AM (4x8W0)

3 I'm watching this at 8 in the morning...first cup of coffee and laughing my *ss off...

Posted by: morning wood at April 27, 2006 05:50 AM (+aNmG)

4 I only lasted for the first 30 seconds. Did I miss anything by not sticking with it?

Posted by: JannyMae at April 27, 2006 05:57 AM (LfIsL)

5 I bet he does a beautiful wedding ceremony.

Posted by: scott at April 27, 2006 06:01 AM (Ffvoi)

6 Scott, thanks for the laugh of the day!

Posted by: JannyMae at April 27, 2006 06:02 AM (LfIsL)

7 The perfect preacher for the AoS lifestyle.

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 06:03 AM (gWvet)

8 This guy is almost as good as Dr. Gene Scott. Y'all remember him?

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 06:06 AM (gWvet)

9 Ah got th' muhfuggin' spirit, beeyotch...

On second thought, I was just diggin' on George Clinton's "One Nation Under A Groove" in the background. (Which might've gotten me to attend synagogue a few more times than the crappy organ music they played when I was a yout'.)

Posted by: Fatwa Arbuckle at April 27, 2006 06:14 AM (xgsKT)

10 I miss Dr. Gene - his rants were pretty funny. I've got a pamphlet somebody put out on his life (they are anti-Gene), if anybody's curious. Was there ever a time when he wasn't berating his audience for not sending him enough money?

Posted by: geoff at April 27, 2006 06:17 AM (nH1Ad)

11 "I make my ass very available".

Not sure which message he's really selling.

Posted by: mesablue at April 27, 2006 06:29 AM (DzeyU)

12 He strikes me as a muthafuckin post-millenialist.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2006 06:48 AM (/PQWt)

13 I denounce this abomination in the strongest terms. We shall commence chopping heads and threatening civil disorder immediately.

Posted by: ChristianJihadi at April 27, 2006 06:50 AM (EI+zd)

14 Nice Stevie doo. Wonder if its a glue-on?

Posted by: Whitey at April 27, 2006 06:56 AM (pSa64)

15 JannyMae, you should watch it to the end. You will never again have the opportunity to see someone , in the name of Jesus, use the word "nincomfuckinpoop" a sentence.

Posted by: scott at April 27, 2006 06:57 AM (Ffvoi)

16 He strikes me as a muthafuckin post-millenialist.

These fake post-millenialists are very annoying to us real ones.

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 07:26 AM (gWvet)

17 God, I wonder what the Muslim version of this guy would be like. Such a person would probably end up being called a "hip hop artist" by our entertainment industry.

Posted by: at April 27, 2006 07:35 AM (svN5w)

18 Ahh, now you done it! We gonna re-translate the Bible fo' yo' ass!

"In the beginning was the M'effing Word, hear?"

“He who shit don't stink, let him blast the first cap”

Help me out, my niggas in Christ...

Posted by: Preacher Man at April 27, 2006 07:37 AM (1CkaY)

19 Go get saved, motherfucker.

lw, you are motherfuckin' priceless.

Posted by: compos mentis at April 27, 2006 07:40 AM (xHpUK)

20 “Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.
Motha-Fuck-ahh

Posted by: aight at April 27, 2006 07:41 AM (1CkaY)

21 Remind anybody else of the preacher in "Coming to America" but with cussin'?

Posted by: Birkel at April 27, 2006 07:45 AM (DSGrX)

22 It's not so much "fire and brimstone" as "gats and AK's."

LA cable access looks like fun.

Posted by: Mark V. at April 27, 2006 07:51 AM (2ipxY)

23 Thanks compos!

Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2006 07:52 AM (RMMp2)

24 All kinds people have a yearning for god. Even former (?) thugs with a foul mouth. If he can reach people who would otherwise tune out or be missed then great.

It might get them started and then they can pursue other spiritual instruction as they progress.

Posted by: Village Idiot at April 27, 2006 07:59 AM (qixtX)

25 Thank you for the link, Laura-- you're a peach.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at April 27, 2006 08:03 AM (y1hCN)

26 Village Idiot, the only thing this guy has a yearning for is verbally abusing other people 'in the name of the Lord.'

Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2006 08:17 AM (RMMp2)

27 “He who shit don't stink, let him blast the first cap”

No, no this is wrong. It should be:

“He who shit don't stink, let him cap the first ho.”

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 08:26 AM (gWvet)

28 has a yearning for is verbally abusing other people 'in the name of the Lord

He'd get along great with Fred Phelps.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2006 08:29 AM (pzen5)

29 Was there ever a time when he wasn't berating his audience for not sending him enough money?

No. He was pre-cable 70s late-night TV entertainment at its finest.

I'm curious about that anti-Gene pamphlet. What did it say about da man?

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 08:29 AM (gWvet)

30 I was a big Robert Tilton fan, myself. His distortion of Christianity lacked the cult-ish bullying of Dr. Gene, but it was still pretty funny. He made great facial expressions.

Posted by: sandy burger at April 27, 2006 08:49 AM (Uuy++)

31 Was there ever a time when he wasn't berating his audience for not sending him enough money?

Didn't he sometimes berate his staff?

I seem to remember him sulking sometimes; they'd just cut to footage of his horses galloping around.

Posted by: sandy burger at April 27, 2006 08:52 AM (K2rlS)

32 "Village Idiot, the only thing this guy has a yearning for is verbally abusing other people 'in the name of the Lord.'"

Not to get too serious/hallmarky, but I thing VI is on to something. It's hard to hear the callers, but if they're doing what it sounds like they're doing (the "scary" anton lavey/linda blair voice - thats what people, including my heathen friends, did to the non-gangsta evangelical call-in shows i remember from public acces when i was a lad), then he's rebuking demons in his own idiom.

Or else he's a schizophrenic motherfucker with Tourette's.

Posted by: Knemon at April 27, 2006 09:23 AM (a3KVd)

33 (holding prayer cloth, available at a mere $19.99, to forehead)

Ahhhgiddybah giddybah! Malachfalachsalach! Blogrien hoogitadoo! Send me cheddar, motherfuckers!

Posted by: Robert Tilton's Cock at April 27, 2006 09:44 AM (a3KVd)

34 Didn't he sometimes berate his staff?

Yeah, on the nights when Scott got really cranky, anything could happen. He used to say that if you're watching, you owe him money.

My favorite was one time when he got so hard up for cash, he broke down sobbing on his knees and the cameras never left him, not even when big thick ropes of mucus were streaming from his nose. Who says quality tv is dead?

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 27, 2006 10:11 AM (gWvet)

35 giggitygiggitygiggitygiggitygiggity

Allllriiiiight!

Posted by: Minister Quagmire at April 27, 2006 10:15 AM (AQGeh)

36 Sigh...

Booker T Washington wrote about how guys like this used to "get the call" to become a pastor in the late 1800s South, basically because they want to avoid actual work.

Let's just say God is not amused.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at April 27, 2006 01:21 PM (1Vbso)

37 Ok, so why did it take NINE years for this to get posted? Check the date on the tape 1997.

I am calling BULLSHIT. Others will say photo shop this photo shop that, on only in Chapel Hill, when liberal are making asses of themselves, but where has this been for NINE years?? I am thinking this is a liberal bullshit. Inquiring minds want to know?

Posted by: kemperman at April 27, 2006 03:35 PM (Wc54u)

38 Ok, so why did it take NINE years for this to get posted? Check the date on the tape 1997.

I am calling BULLSHIT. Others will say photo shop this photo shop that, on only in Chapel Hill, when liberal are making asses of themselves, but where has this been for NINE years?? I am thinking this is a liberal bullshit. Inquiring minds want to know? It is also racist!

Posted by: kemperman at April 27, 2006 03:35 PM (Wc54u)

39 sorry for the double post can not tha figure out

Posted by: at April 27, 2006 03:37 PM (Wc54u)

40 The end times are nigh.

Plague of retards is the first sign.

Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2006 04:30 PM (o6H31)

41 I'm curious about that anti-Gene pamphlet. What did it say about da man?

The "pamphlet" turns out to be an issue of THE LAST PROM: eclectic esoterica for a better tomorrow - some indie periodical from Burbank. Issue #2 (1993) is devoted to The Weird World of Dr. Gene Scott. Here's an excerpt:This balmy Southern California eve is the first time I've seen God's enfant terrible live and in person. And, like any television celebrity, preacher Dr. Gene Scott looks just like he does on the television: fat, grizzled, and angry.
*
Perhaps you've seen him, too, late at night on some cheap U.H.F. station, fat, grizzled, and angry, screaming about the pyramids, the Amityville Horror, Atlantis, or berating his staff and technical crew, or just down and out showing off the wealth he's amassed with viewer donations.
I can type up the part about his fight with the FCC, or the mini-documentary by Werner Herzog (God's Angry Man), or I can just loan it to you somehow - there's probably 30 pages of material in it.

Posted by: geoff at April 27, 2006 04:57 PM (nH1Ad)

42 Dr. Gene Scott is still preachin' from beyond the grave here.

Posted by: sandy burger at April 27, 2006 05:07 PM (FmfCF)

43 sandy burger,

Wow.

Really.

Mesmerizing.

The two pairs of glasses.

The cigar.

The voice.

Wow.

!

Just sayin'.

Posted by: MTT at April 27, 2006 06:02 PM (Nu5cz)

44 http://www.copsonline.com/funny%20audio/deer.wav Then there's the m'f 'ing 911 call for the bambulance - a deer, a dog, and a phone booth...

Posted by: Terri at April 28, 2006 08:31 AM (m0QsW)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
85kb generated in CPU 0.12, elapsed 1.1583 seconds.
62 queries taking 1.0959 seconds, 280 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.