August 31, 2007

The Scandi penis museum
— Purple Avenger

Damn scandis again. I don't know if Icelanders really qualify as proper scandis, but I don't really care. Its cold, its north, they eat weird stuff, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call'em scandis.

So these weirdo scandis got a freaking penis museum up there. I guess there's not much to do in the land of the midnight sun when it goes dark for 6 months, so they sit around stuffing and mounting penises...all kinds of penises.

So...lets say you're some randy congressman who has a hankering to see what some genuine polar bear cock looks like, but you're not into the whole getting mauled to death and eaten thing. Here you go. They got one. The bear ain't good enough? Bear cock ain't hot enough to wax your skis eh? No problemo - they got some monstrous whale cock too.

According to Walking the Berkshires,

The Icelandic Phallological Museum contains a collection of over one hundred and fifty penises and penile parts belonging to almost all the land and sea mammals that can be found in Iceland.

H/T TigerHawk

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 08:16 PM | Comments (42)
Post contains 191 words, total size 1 kb.


Love this quote from the museum's website:

Phallology is an ancient science which, until recent years, has received very little attention in Iceland, except as a borderline field of study in other academic disciplines such as history, art, psychology, literature and other artistic fields like music and ballet. .

WOAH- phallology is discussed in depth in ballet? Jesus, I'm changing my major tomorrow!

Posted by: TheEJS at August 31, 2007 08:31 PM (KINJc)

2 I bet you never knew I was a PhD in phallology

Posted by: Paris Hilton at August 31, 2007 08:33 PM (NiDeC)

3 cvsdpogma'pgojagm....gag...gargle...swallow. I hope this doesn't get on my new dress.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 31, 2007 09:39 PM (XWJh5)


one hundred and fifty penises and penile parts belonging to almost all the land and sea mammals that can be found in Iceland.

Only 150 penises in Iceland, and they put them in a museum.  I suppose the rest of the male mammals hid when word got out they were collecting all the penises (or Larry Craig came for a visit).

Posted by: Ralph L at August 31, 2007 10:44 PM (yQsq1)

5 What do you expect from a country built on a volcano, sanity?

Posted by: Infidelsalwayswin at September 01, 2007 12:18 AM (7hRxx)


They certainly eat wierd stuff.....

"Dried fish with butter is a common and dull thing to eat. Chew it very carefully and eventually it will taste a bit like fish. Otherwise it mostly tastes like paper. More adventurous hikers may want to try sheep's head, ram's testicles and old shark. (It's the shark meat that's old, not the shark itself.) Sheep's head is nice, but a bit chewy. Old shark has a cheesy taste to it, and ram's testicles are down right yuccy. However, they are supposed to increase your sexual drive, so what the heck. "

Or try here for recipes for singed sheeps head and sheeps head jam...

Posted by: The Thin Man at September 01, 2007 12:23 AM (mGSdZ)

7 Ha Ha! Did you see the image gallery? The next and previous buttons are penises (penii?) that point to right and left.

Posted by: Tushar D at September 01, 2007 02:14 AM (9ULFg)

8 Those pussy whales ain't got shit on me!

Posted by: Big Dick Cheney at September 01, 2007 03:03 AM (XWJh5)

9 Man, the last thing I need is something to increase my sex drive.

Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 01, 2007 03:39 AM (dwsxB)


Sour grapes.  Purple Avenger is upset because he's not on exhibit at the museum.

But Icelanders are weird.  As a delicacy, they eat pickled rams' testicles and rotten shark meat.

Posted by: John at September 01, 2007 04:12 AM (uSGXC)


what do you with the other 48 hours of your day after visiting this "Shrine to Pine"?

Posted by: mark c at September 01, 2007 04:21 AM (DIXci)

12 Got any of them zigzag peni?

Posted by: ricpic at September 01, 2007 04:24 AM (0kHZW)


 mounting penises...all kinds of penises


Posted by: Larry Craig at September 01, 2007 04:25 AM (Tbl5c)

14 Anyone actually look at the images? They have, um, well, uh, Elmo's member in there.

Posted by: pajama momma at September 01, 2007 04:36 AM (Tbl5c)

15 Big deal.  I have a whale penis too, and I don't go bragging about it.

Well actually, yes I do:  Ladies, I have a whale penis!

Sigh.... who can resist such an opportunity?

Posted by: rob at September 01, 2007 04:54 AM (n62Tz)

16 "WOAH- phallology is discussed in depth in ballet? Jesus, I'm changing my major tomorrow!"

You know, people somehow associate ballet with Teh Ghey, but you'll probably never find such a favorable ratio of attractive straight women to men, whether you're watching or participating.

Posted by: someone at September 01, 2007 05:31 AM (LS1TS)


You know, people somehow associate ballet with Teh Ghey..

uh..huh.., your telling me Ron Reagan Jr. got into it just for the chocha?

Posted by: mark c at September 01, 2007 06:19 AM (DIXci)


Yes Icelanders are Scandi, they all come from Scandi nations.

We got lots of Icelanders here in Manitoba, so they're doubly cursed: Snowback Scandis! Lmao!

Manitoba is in Canada, for all y'all Americans who don't know where MB is... it's just to the north of North Dakota, eh?

Posted by: 5Cats at September 01, 2007 08:00 AM (Knaf0)

19 I hear there mosquitoes the size of sparrows up in Canada that can drive a bull moose stark raving mad.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 08:57 AM (NiDeC)

20 Give your husband a break, Mrs. Peel.  You don't want to wear him out too early, you know.

Posted by: OregonMuse at September 01, 2007 08:58 AM (5UgG/)


It seems then, as per the report in post #10 above, that the line "Eat my balls", meant and taken as an insult on a previous thread, may in fact not be an insult, but rather an attempt to plant a mental-image-bomb, set to trigger at the next meal involving meatballs and red sauce. 


Posted by: Arbalest at September 01, 2007 09:01 AM (KegX0)

22 Just great - from a discussion of avionics and lightning to cocks.

Just, Fucking, Great.


Posted by: Bruce at September 01, 2007 11:29 AM (2q+Ss)

23 I saw a show on TV about building the AlCan Highway, and there were reports of skeeters up there that can stand flat-footed and fuck a turkey...

Posted by: MOMinuteman at September 01, 2007 11:42 AM (0bHQr)

24 well, i know where i'm taking my next vacation!

Posted by: erg at September 01, 2007 11:48 AM (AVxOW)


so where's the Icelandic Vagina Museum huh?

fucking Scandi misogynists


Posted by: Amanda Marcotte at September 01, 2007 12:27 PM (7OZHJ)

26 from a discussion of avionics and lightning to cocks.

We're all about the eclecticism here.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 01:35 PM (NiDeC)

27 The museum page explains that most mammalian schlongs have a literal bone inside -- known by the technical term baculum, which is a 2nd-declension neuter Latin noun.

Ergo, the name of Quantum Leap actor Scott Bakula means, phonetically, "Scott Penis Bones."

Posted by: Throbert McGee at September 01, 2007 04:01 PM (Vgxhz)

28 (And by the way, it's the baculum of the male raccoon that is known for having a "zigzag" shape.)

Posted by: Throbert McGee at September 01, 2007 04:02 PM (Vgxhz)

29 "It is sometimes used as a charm for luck"

Not so lucky for the raccoon one of those belonged to though.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 06:36 PM (NiDeC)

30 I have several friends that served in Iceland and say that the young women up tjere have no problem mounting penises. Must have something to do with the air.

Posted by: Kelly at September 01, 2007 07:13 PM (I2ZrE)

31 Oh just kill me now before I die laughing.

Posted by: Jane at September 01, 2007 07:58 PM (8nB5X)


It should be noted that the museum has also been fortunate enough to receive a legally-certified gift token for a future specimen belonging to Homo Sapiens.

What does that mean? Someone bequeathed their privates and the museum is anxiously awaiting them?

Gift token for a future specimen....I think my credit card company offered me the same thing.


Posted by: Jane at September 01, 2007 08:15 PM (8nB5X)


I've actually been there and it's less exciting than it sounds. Lots of gerbil or hamster bits. The best exhibit is the sperm whale item--Moby's Dick?-- mounted on the wall--it's at least three feet long.

I'm not even sure it really qualifies as a museum, it's more like a one-room shop with lots of jars.


Posted by: Jen Doe at September 02, 2007 05:03 AM (ywLCw)

34 I don't know if Icelanders really qualify as proper scandis, but I
don't really care. Its cold, its north, they eat weird stuff, I'm gonna
go out on a limb here and call'em scandis.

It's a fact. Icelanders have Scandi blood pumpin' through their hearts.
If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of
years ago the Vikings conquered Iceland. And Vikings are Scandis. Way back
then, Icelanders were like the English in Europe. Dark hair, brown
eyes. But, once the Vikings moved in there, they changed the whole
country. They did so much fuckin' with the Icelander women, they changed
the blood-line for ever, from dark hair and brown eyes to blond hair
and fish-belly skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day,
hundreds of years later, Icelanders still carry that Scandi gene. I'm
just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Their ancestors were Scandis. Every Icelander's great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was fucked
by a Scandi, and had a half-Scandi kid. That is a fact.

Posted by: VRWC Agent at September 02, 2007 05:23 AM (Z3AmO)


What and WHY the heck?

   Are they sooooo short on the stick they gotta wonder how big thingys are on other beasts

Posted by: TA at September 02, 2007 11:59 AM (yz1GR)


Elmo's only the first human penis - and no doubt the largest  - going to the museum.  Some dick heads are dying to become famous...


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