August 31, 2007
— Purple Avenger Damn scandis again. I don't know if Icelanders really qualify as proper scandis, but I don't really care. Its cold, its north, they eat weird stuff, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call'em scandis.
So these weirdo scandis got a freaking penis museum up there. I guess there's not much to do in the land of the midnight sun when it goes dark for 6 months, so they sit around stuffing and mounting penises...all kinds of penises.
So...lets say you're some randy congressman who has a hankering to see what some genuine polar bear cock looks like, but you're not into the whole getting mauled to death and eaten thing. Here you go. They got one. The bear ain't good enough? Bear cock ain't hot enough to wax your skis eh? No problemo - they got some monstrous whale cock too.
According to Walking the Berkshires,
The Icelandic Phallological Museum contains a collection of over one hundred and fifty penises and penile parts belonging to almost all the land and sea mammals that can be found in Iceland.
Love this quote from the museum's website:
Phallology is an ancient science which, until recent years, has received very little attention in Iceland, except as a borderline field of study in other academic disciplines such as history, art, psychology, literature and other artistic fields like music and ballet. .
WOAH- phallology is discussed in depth in ballet? Jesus, I'm changing my major tomorrow!
Posted by: TheEJS at August 31, 2007 08:31 PM (KINJc)
Posted by: Paris Hilton at August 31, 2007 08:33 PM (NiDeC)
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at August 31, 2007 09:39 PM (XWJh5)
one hundred and fifty penises and penile parts belonging to almost all the land and sea mammals that can be found in Iceland.
Only 150 penises in Iceland, and they put them in a museum. I suppose the rest of the male mammals hid when word got out they were collecting all the penises (or Larry Craig came for a visit).
Posted by: Ralph L at August 31, 2007 10:44 PM (yQsq1)
Posted by: Infidelsalwayswin at September 01, 2007 12:18 AM (7hRxx)
They certainly eat wierd stuff.....
"Dried fish with butter is a common and dull thing to eat. Chew it very carefully and eventually it will taste a bit like fish. Otherwise it mostly tastes like paper. More adventurous hikers may want to try sheep's head, ram's testicles and old shark. (It's the shark meat that's old, not the shark itself.) Sheep's head is nice, but a bit chewy. Old shark has a cheesy taste to it, and ram's testicles are down right yuccy. However, they are supposed to increase your sexual drive, so what the heck. "
Or try here for recipes for singed sheeps head and sheeps head jam...
Posted by: The Thin Man at September 01, 2007 12:23 AM (mGSdZ)
Posted by: Tushar D at September 01, 2007 02:14 AM (9ULFg)
Posted by: Big Dick Cheney at September 01, 2007 03:03 AM (XWJh5)
Posted by: Mrs. Peel at September 01, 2007 03:39 AM (dwsxB)
Sour grapes. Purple Avenger is upset because he's not on exhibit at the museum.
But Icelanders are weird. As a delicacy, they eat pickled rams' testicles and rotten shark meat.
Posted by: John at September 01, 2007 04:12 AM (uSGXC)
what do you with the other 48 hours of your day after visiting this "Shrine to Pine"?
Posted by: mark c at September 01, 2007 04:21 AM (DIXci)
Posted by: ricpic at September 01, 2007 04:24 AM (0kHZW)
mounting penises...all kinds of penises
Posted by: Larry Craig at September 01, 2007 04:25 AM (Tbl5c)
Posted by: pajama momma at September 01, 2007 04:36 AM (Tbl5c)
Well actually, yes I do: Ladies, I have a whale penis!
Sigh.... who can resist such an opportunity?
Posted by: rob at September 01, 2007 04:54 AM (n62Tz)
You know, people somehow associate ballet with Teh Ghey, but you'll probably never find such a favorable ratio of attractive straight women to men, whether you're watching or participating.
Posted by: someone at September 01, 2007 05:31 AM (LS1TS)
You know, people somehow associate ballet with Teh Ghey..
uh..huh.., your telling me Ron Reagan Jr. got into it just for the chocha?
Posted by: mark c at September 01, 2007 06:19 AM (DIXci)
Yes Icelanders are Scandi, they all come from Scandi nations.
We got lots of Icelanders here in Manitoba, so they're doubly cursed: Snowback Scandis! Lmao!
Manitoba is in Canada, for all y'all Americans who don't know where MB is... it's just to the north of North Dakota, eh?
Posted by: 5Cats at September 01, 2007 08:00 AM (Knaf0)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 08:57 AM (NiDeC)
Posted by: OregonMuse at September 01, 2007 08:58 AM (5UgG/)
It seems then, as per the report in post #10 above, that the line "Eat my balls", meant and taken as an insult on a previous thread, may in fact not be an insult, but rather an attempt to plant a mental-image-bomb, set to trigger at the next meal involving meatballs and red sauce.
Posted by: Arbalest at September 01, 2007 09:01 AM (KegX0)
Just, Fucking, Great.
Posted by: Bruce at September 01, 2007 11:29 AM (2q+Ss)
Posted by: MOMinuteman at September 01, 2007 11:42 AM (0bHQr)
Posted by: erg at September 01, 2007 11:48 AM (AVxOW)
so where's the Icelandic Vagina Museum huh?
fucking Scandi misogynists
Posted by: Amanda Marcotte at September 01, 2007 12:27 PM (7OZHJ)
We're all about the eclecticism here.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 01:35 PM (NiDeC)
Ergo, the name of Quantum Leap actor Scott Bakula means, phonetically, "Scott Penis Bones."
Posted by: Throbert McGee at September 01, 2007 04:01 PM (Vgxhz)
Posted by: Throbert McGee at September 01, 2007 04:02 PM (Vgxhz)
Not so lucky for the raccoon one of those belonged to though.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 01, 2007 06:36 PM (NiDeC)
Posted by: Kelly at September 01, 2007 07:13 PM (I2ZrE)
Posted by: Jane at September 01, 2007 07:58 PM (8nB5X)
It should be noted that the museum has also been fortunate enough to receive a legally-certified gift token for a future specimen belonging to Homo Sapiens.
What does that mean? Someone bequeathed their privates and the museum is anxiously awaiting them?
Gift token for a future specimen....I think my credit card company offered me the same thing.
Posted by: Jane at September 01, 2007 08:15 PM (8nB5X)
I've actually been there and it's less exciting than it sounds. Lots of gerbil or hamster bits. The best exhibit is the sperm whale item--Moby's Dick?-- mounted on the wall--it's at least three feet long.
I'm not even sure it really qualifies as a museum, it's more like a one-room shop with lots of jars.
Posted by: Jen Doe at September 02, 2007 05:03 AM (ywLCw)
don't really care. Its cold, its north, they eat weird stuff, I'm gonna
go out on a limb here and call'em scandis.
It's a fact. Icelanders have Scandi blood pumpin' through their hearts.
If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of
years ago the Vikings conquered Iceland. And Vikings are Scandis. Way back
then, Icelanders were like the English in Europe. Dark hair, brown
eyes. But, once the Vikings moved in there, they changed the whole
country. They did so much fuckin' with the Icelander women, they changed
the blood-line for ever, from dark hair and brown eyes to blond hair
and fish-belly skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day,
hundreds of years later, Icelanders still carry that Scandi gene. I'm
just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Their ancestors were Scandis. Every Icelander's great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was fucked
by a Scandi, and had a half-Scandi kid. That is a fact.
Posted by: VRWC Agent at September 02, 2007 05:23 AM (Z3AmO)
What and WHY the heck?
Are they sooooo short on the stick they gotta wonder how big thingys are on other beasts
Posted by: TA at September 02, 2007 11:59 AM (yz1GR)
Elmo's only the first human penis - and no doubt the largest - going to the museum. Some dick heads are dying to become famous...
Posted by: Salami at September 05, 2007 09:16 PM (YwdKL)
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