July 27, 2004

The Pedro Martinez Conundrum
— Ace

Mickey Kaus is a centrist, but reliable, Democratic voter. He wants very much to vote for Kerry, but he doesn't want to say he's voting for Kerry in order to appease the terrorists -- oh, I'm sorry, not "appease" them per se, just not make them all angry n' stuff, the way Bush has.

He wants them as peaceable and amiable as they were on September 11th 2001 when they crashed four airplanes filled with human beings into three buildings and the earth, killing 2800.

Now, see the problem with that rationale? Well, I suspect Mickey Kaus sees the problem here too, because he keeps trying to find cute ways to say "appease them" without actually uttering the words. His current formulation is that we need a "time out" from "Bush's history-making," by which he means we need to take a refreshing pause from our current policy of not appeasing terrorists.

Taking a time out from not appeasing them would seem to mean going back to appeasing them, but at least this way of saying it is sort of cute and vague and you can still claim to be all in favor of defeating maniacal Muslim murder-cultists.

After a time out, of course. A time out which will last anywhere from four to eight years.

Another cute way to say what he doesn't want to say is to employ the shorthand "Pedro Martinez."

Now, Pedro Martinez was the Red Sox ace who pitched a good game against the Yanks in last year's ALCS, but who was left in the game a little too long and wound up blowing the game. Kaus uses this analogy to say that while Bush has done all the right things, apparently we need to vote him out of office as soon as possible and put in the guy who didn't want to do the right things. See, because, you know, having the guy who did the right things in the game could lead to him doing not the right things in later innings.

Apparently Kerry, who's been wrong all along under this rationale, will do better in the late innings. I guess the theory is "he's due."

Here's the thing, though:

Kerry really ought to be foresquare behind this Pedro Martinez analogy, because, after all, in this silly little fart of an analysis he's the relief pitcher who'll be coming in to save the game. Trouble is, Kerry -- the very decisive man who wants to lead the free world -- that he can't even clearly say that the Red Sox should have yanked Pedro Martinez in that game without worrying that someone might take offense and not vote for him.

Son of Nixon finds Kerry unable to give a decisive answer on this, one of the more trivial questions posed to a presidential candidate:

Kerry actually responds that, yes, he believes that Grady should have removed Pedro. Then Kerry interjects "Am I in trouble?" for giving that answer. My God! He sensed that he actually provided a clear cut answer to a question and his first reaction was that he may be in "trouble". Isn't it painfully obvious that this man is in no way qualified to lead?

There's more there. Kerry, who notoriously said he didn't like this whole "Yea" or "Nay" system of casting votes, perferring a "Yes, but..." or "No, unless..." system, also can't answer simple questions about baseball without launching into somnolent soliliquoys.

Posted by: Ace at 10:00 PM | Comments (6)
Post contains 581 words, total size 3 kb.

1 this may make me a war monger but i find this particularly useful at times like this...

"Patton loved to attack. Only attack... refusing to let American boys die taking the same ground more than once like he had seen in the fields of France during the Great War in 1917."

from: http://www.bobtuley.com/georgepatton.htm

why take a time out?

w.

Posted by: w at July 28, 2004 03:26 AM (O9kZt)

2 thanks for the link.

Just as in the Pedro situation, Kerry should be able to look at the Iraq war and cherry-pick the elements that didn't work out and offer a Monday morning alternative. It would be a real cocksucker move, but hard to argue with if he focused on the elements that went sour and offered a different path.

But he really hasn't. Sure he bitches and whines about the deaths and the costs, but he still has not offered a single concrete proposal suggesting a different plan.

"Do things better" doesn't count.

Posted by: sonofnixon at July 28, 2004 04:58 AM (2Pa3z)

3 The "Pedro Martinez" argument doesn't even make sense in baseball terms: Grady Little had Mike Timlin in the bullpen, who happened to be having the week of his life: 9.2 IP, 1 H! 0 R, 2 BB, 11 K in the playoffs. For THAT you pull Pedro. I'll take a tired Pedro over some league-average stiff, though.

Posted by: DTLV at July 28, 2004 05:00 AM (KOirE)

4 And of course the real problem with the Pedro Martinez argument in baseball terms is that when you bring in relief he's sort of required to go on doing what your starter did before his arm got tired-- you know, throw pitches and stuff. What Kaus is hoping for from Kerry is more like a rain delay. I'm afraid managers don't get to call those.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at July 28, 2004 07:06 AM (0sVlQ)

5 Based on last weekend, at least we know Kerry will come out of the 'pen throwing heat. The guy can bring it.

Posted by: Mark at July 28, 2004 10:32 AM (uvpsw)

Posted by: abercrombie clothes at March 22, 2010 10:25 PM (B8Yll)

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